Newspaper Page Text
THE DAILY CAIRO BULLETIN: SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE 3,1882.
ytARL BAKING POWOCJ
PURE CREAM TARTAR.
81000. Given ,
IfftUlinor any iiijiirloHMMilihUtici'SCim Iw foiinil
in Anilroww 1'enrl Baking I'owdor. 1 !
tiVflyPURE. HoiiiK endorsed, inltill!uniiliilK
received from audi eliemlMs hkS. Uiumllnys, Hon.
twi; W. lelafiiituiiif, of t'lileiiKo; ami Uutluviis
Bode, Mllwnukiw. Ncvcrsold in bulk.
C. E. ANDREWS A, CO.
46 M icIiiKiia A r. 287. '.'-Ml & '-".il K. Water
StillmanVs ELIXIR oi' LIFE
A purely YViretnlile llloort Purl Hit. nnil L'liarnn
teed to cure '.'.' cases m 1. or money rulurcleil
The above reward will pan! fur a remedy whirh
will enro a many rase of Malaria, Fever and Acne,
Dyspepsia, ltlieiitnatii.ni, l iitarrli, l.iver ami Kid
ney liiaease. 'Si,' butties sold on Iih ineriis,
without advertising, in smell years. If bilious,
luiRnld, tnd your amliltloii in trniio, lile Ik kUmhiiv.
Try one hottlu. It .will cunvliiri- yun of its superi
ority over any otli"r remedy. If you liave any Uu
mom of thi) Kktn or blood, from whatever rnuu,
this ElUu will cure it when all oilier remedies
hav failed. Ask your druggist for It. Trice .!
end Ii. A IJdollar bottle sent by express fie
paid. MTd by A. L. 8TIL1.MAN & f., New
York Circular free. 11. V. WM.LAUU, Uen'l
Atfout U. S. aud Camilla. Troy, N. Y,
WIT AND HUMOR.
A Huston paper is in "favor of women
votinnr if i hey wnnt to." We woiihl like
to see the man that would make them
vote if they iliilu't want to.
The law permits yon to lish for trout
now, but it dors not jinuaiitee that yon
will catch any. However, it does not
prevent you from lying.
An editor has offered fur the best-
written love letters. There are some
people who would give more than that
to get back some they have written.
To be systematically and constantly
funny requires a high order of genius.
Colorado Ki.rhnivjf.. And no blue pen
cil suide work.
A little boy who had been ued to re
ceiving his older brother's old toys and
clothes recently remarked, "Ma, will I
have to marry Ids widow when hedies?"
. "What," inquires the editor of the
Philadelphia Times, "shall we do with
our girls?" He can do what ho likra
with his, but we warn him to let ours
alone. Etmira Fire. I'nss,
An exchange says: "A dozen women
rido now whcre one woman rode a few
years ago." It will be seen that this
arrangement must be hard on the old
"Think I'd live in that building!" ex
claimed the lady who ran a boarding
house. "Not a bit of it! Why, all the
doors fasten with bolts; there isn't a
key-hole in the building."
A contemporary prints an able article
on "How to go to Sleep." It is the most
convincing article we ever read on the
subject. We wen? sound asleep before
we read it half through.
Lady customer (hesitating over pur
chase) "Hear mc, Mr. Iliggs, this fowl
looks as if it had died a natural death!"
Poulterer (readily) -"I'll warrant yer
it did, ma'am, for 1 killed it meself!"
It is reported that when Miss Anna
Dickinson heard of Dr. Mary Walker's
good fortune in securing a Washington
clerkship, she sadly sighed, "I wish I
were in Mary's pantaloons."
The students of the university at Tus
caloosa, Ala., had an eating match, in
which the victor ate thirly-sevcn biscuits
in sixteen minutes. Hut biscuits nro
probably small down there.
Not quite what he expected - Clergy
man (who has caught a boy stealing):
'Don't you know that the d-1 gets
naughty little boys?" Hoy: "I know
he's got me!"
.She confided to him that she never
wore, unything but silk stockings when
'she went to dances. He said he had no
doubt the cost lime was becoming, but
might not there to be a little more
A lecturer who had just oiie listener
was fluttered to discover that be came
in to get out of the wet. Umbrella
would have cost a dollar; lecture, twenty-live
cents; seventy-live cents saved.
iklroit ';( r I'nxx.'
A small colored bov visited the circus
in Italtiuiorc, mid during the eveniin'
utu three quarts of peanuts unassisted
Afterward be slept calmly and peaceful
ly, he says, find he is now ready for the
Gutenberg, the alleged inventor of
printing, lived in a six-story house,
which is still standing. There is a ru
mor that Johaiin used to mop each of
tho six lloors about oriec a week with his
A traveler asked a Nw Haven saloon-keeper
if they ever had any cases
of sunstroke in that town. "No, sir,"
aid he; "if a man c.ets drunk here ho
pays be is drunk, and never calls it by
any other na'ine."
Clergyman: -Jamb, what did Cain
do with hi brother AM?" Jacob: "Ho
oeirayeu mm." f.lenrynmn: "Wron'T.
iritz, can you tell me?" Frit.; (.ym
. tuew ins brother Abel: ' ( l,.
Tho very latest, broad-rimmed bat for
voung ladies is called "Over the Garden
Wall. From the description It is win.
nosed that the name arise from a ten.
dency of unsuspecting citizens to climb
the nearest wall when they sue the hat
"Yes, mamma, I took three, bonbons
out of the drawer." "That was very
naughty," my child; but; I sliall forgivo
you, because you confessed it." "'lln'ii
give me the oilier, niamnia, for I really
took only two." - l,c. Fiynro.
The Scranton (lYnn. j liqmblican re
lates that us a Wilkcsbarre man took
his seat in the barber's chair, ho asked
the barber if he had tho same razor ho
had used two days before. Heing an
swered ailirmatively, the patient man
said: "Then give tne chloroform."
An editor living in Florida wrote, "It
is years since wo nave experienced such,
a thing as winter." After tho paper
went to press ho committed suicide, and
simply because the compositor had set
up the last word "water," instead of
Very kind drug clerk to a little girl:
"Now be sure to tell your papa to tako
this medicine ncconling tothedircetions
on the bottle; an overdose might affect
his brain." Little girl--"Oh, I guess
there's no danger of that, for Pvo heard
mnmmatell him lots of times he never
had any brains."
A voting man who went to tho circus
and stepped too near a monkey's cage,
had his arm seized ami savagely jerked
by one of I lie moiikevs. He would have
csenped safely it he had not said: "It is
merely ii monkey wrench," but when
thny heard that, the infuriated crowd
threw him into the lion's den.
A New York man went into a crowd
ed car ami asked if he could havo tho
sent which was then occupied by a hat,
whose owner was sitting in the next
seat. The man. angrily grasping his
hat, answered: "Yes, take it, if you're
a hog." "I'm so near one, that I guess
that I'll take ii," said the other.
"What harm has the lad done you?"
asked an old gentleman, roughly collar
ing a boy who was wanning the jacket
of another urchin with a bit of wild
grape vine. "He ain't done me no
harm." "What are you thrashing him
for, then?'' ('au-e hi,s father and
mother never licks him, ami I'm doing
it for charity."
"Hut why did you leave your last
place?" "Oeh, mum, they was that
mean that there was no liviu' wid 'em.
If you'll belave it. mum, 'twas only yis
tcr that 1 w inl intil the parlor, and there
was two of the gurruls a playing on the
one peeany and their fatherrieh enough
to buy a dozen and never fale it."
A boy paid his first viit to one of the
union schools the other day, as a schol
ar, and as he came home at night, his
mother inquired: "Well, Henry, how do
you like going to school?" "Bully." he
replied, in jin excited voice. "I saw
four boys licked, one girl get her ear
pulled, 'and a big scholar burned his el
bow on the stove. 1 don't want tomis
A gentleman in the New York swamp
met a rather "uncertain" acquaintance
the other dav.when the latter said: "I'm
a little short, and would like to ask you
a conundrum in mental arithmetic."
Proceed," observed tho gentleman.
"Well," said the "short" man, "sup
pose you had ten dollars in your pocket,
and i should ask you for live, how much
would remain:1 "leu dollars, was
the prompt answer.
A Wieklow magistrate said: "When I
was in danger from a Kerry bull, I sat
down and stared him full in the face."
"How did it. answer?" queried tho
breathless bystanders. "Kxcellent! The
Kerry didn't oiler to touch me." "Very
remarkable, very curious. Howdovoti
account for it?" "Well, sometimes I've
thought it was because I sat down on
the top bi anch of a very tall tree," said
A. I'xislmi ii'ii'ie'i'iiiilior ivnlt inir ntmrr
the banks of the Nile with the Kncdivc"
.suddenly threw the key to his carpe.tr
ack into Hie noble siream. the poten
tate looked up in surprise, and the par-
Hgraiiher immediately asked, "Did you
see tiie key dive?" "Yes, young mini.
I saw the key dive; but, by the beard of
the prophet, thou shoiildst diagram thy
jest, for Allah knows that Khedive is
never pronounced key dive. J he next
steamer departing from Kgypt took on
one passenger for ISostou.
Mistaken for Consumption.
Wo have known persons to doctor for
years for consumption, all to no eflcct
1 hough they had a cough, felt piim in the
lungs, were, depressed, weak, with many
other symptoms tending to that disease, yet
there was no stnictual unsoundness of the
lungs. These symptoms were all -the pain
ful offsprings of a torpid and diseased liver.
We could till a volume witfi testimonials of
thousands so affected, who were penna
nently cured by taking Simmons Liver
Our Charming Countrywomen
are winning an enviable distinction for
their tine teeth. This, they iu great measure
owo to the beautifying and restorative mflu
ence of Hozodont, tho most popular pre
paration for the teeth on this continent. It
removes from tho dental surface every
impurity, cheeks decay and enables the
teeth to masticate without contaminating
the tood, thus ludircctly contributing to
healthful nutrition. It effectually neutral
izes an unpleasant odor of the breath .
H. F. McCarthy. ilniL'L'iKt. Ottawa. Out
states flint ho was alllicted with chrome
bronchitis for some years, and was com
pletely cured by the use of Thomas' Eci.ki
A friend in Need.
Time over and nciun Thomas' Ei.kctuu:
uii, mis proven a salutary triend to tho dis
tressed, as a reliable curativo for croup in
children, sure throat and bronchial alter.
lions, and as a positive external remedy for
.;., u :.. - r. -i! i .
uui, n in a iiuviT-IHUlug BIlIKlOie.
A GOOD BARGAIN
Will be I'ive.ll uiitliii imtiirnriuiiinir titan
in Tu k bullktin Building, which ih now
ouviuii jwi buiu uu cany itrnis, foug nmo
Mid low ratu of intercut. Tim huildinir
lias rented for the tiast venr for
fifty to sixty-two dollsrB per month.
The property coosivts of 4 lots, and two
lirirU llll!lrl!iwra ut..r.. Al.lin inJ
two story HI x 45. His a frontage of GO
feet on Washington avenuo and 150 feet on
1 )lk .,!.... 1 If 1 .... ., ,i
iu.uen. ii ueBireuine raacninery, en
gine, boiles, Ac, in tho 2 story building
-iu maim wun it. for particulars ad
dress this office, or John 11. Oberly. Bloom
Infiton, Ills. ' .
ftuj,,. , Cliilln ami Fi'ver.
Mlh'ilOIHl l"imon t-lver KeRil-f,-
jjry '"" break tiiu
3jrz?JS'53r'Jt i lulls ami tarrlim tin
T& fevnr outiit t1n'i"slem.
lt&s h cures when all oilier
K-ir lb" ml lei and euro
of thin (llclremlni.; ill"
eimn line SIiiiiiioiih Liv
The Reeiiliiloi- will Jutil I vwly iliro IIiIh lenllde
ilideai.il. Wo MfHort einplialii ally wlmi wo know m
ahoitlil mil lie p aided tin n Intliie.; ailment Na
lure ileinaielH Hie iiliuoxl rei:iilarlly of the boi Ii.
'I'liereforu nsn'tt nature by liililnn Kiininuim l.ivi r
U i;ulutor. It " liaiiiib'i h, mild unit llectiiul.
Otiu or two liil h epiionlulH will relievo all the
troubled liiridi nl to a biliniiH i-mie, niii Ii no Niiuh-ii
Ili..liii'SH, lltownliii'HH, HiHlreis ult lt i-titini;, ft bit
ter bad tnxte m tin' tnoulli. ,
M AIjAIf I A.
I'erHiiiiM mil y avoid ull iiltaika by uitiihIoiihIIv
faklliK a tUm' of SininioiiH l.her Ke);uluiir to keep
(lie liver in health) arlioti.
U'l'iierntly iirUinn Inni a dlsorderi'd alomarli, ran
lie corrected liv Inking Mlinliliina Liver KrcilUtur
KimtnoiiH l.ivcr llenulut r kooh cradleateii thin dii
eaie I'niai the n.Kti'in, leaving tho skin clear and
free li'oni ull iuipiirltiea
Children ciitrerlin' with colic nimn experience re
lief when Simmon Liver Heuulatorla ailniinli'tor
ed. Adult aluo derivo creat benelll I'rum lhl
mi db liie. It in not unpleaxant ; It In harnilopx
and ultectlvn. Purely vcj.:i labia.
JUjA IJI.) 10 1 1 tcKll )N J : YS
XI i ik t of i In' itiHi'SHt s ot the bladder oriu'lnalc frnui
tlume of ibe kldneyH. Kef lure the action of the
liver fully nnd both the kidneys and bladder will
HyTako only the yi'iiiiine, Vthlcli ahvuyi1 ha on
the wrapper the retl , trade mark ami eluiaiurc of
Korcale by ull driiyeiKl.
Its fimt uppareut effect in to increanu Hie uppe
tite. It usid! (llcetion and rust-mlio food to ai
oiimiiaie pmperly-lliu tbo oymem is iioiirlhlied.
lt alu, by it tonic action oil the dluctivc oran.
iuduce more coplou and regular t vaumiloti.
The rapidity with wliirb patienta UVk uu llofli
while under the !i ibience uf the Syrup, of Itself lu
ll leal'.' that mi ether preparation can be better
adapted to nelp and nonrifh the routltulioti, and
heuceb? more clllcacloii in all ilepre-ion of h;iii -shaking
or IrvmhlliiK uf haudi or body,
coiisli, aliorlues of bn alh, or consumptive baliit.
The nerve ami miires beconm "tretieilu'iied, and
the blood purified.
TU various kindso! wate or itecuy tlmi atkrt
the human body, though a! tended earn w ith onie
symptoui not common with the lent, ateo very
much In tbi. i hut the bati iu ail I nearly thu
saint). It 19 teneral'iv coiicidtd, that the majority
uf diseases are accompuiileil by faulty direction;
and such beini; the cane, we miit, in ordi r to cure
such dlta is, ciiiihu the organs of dicciUlDU to per
lorin their proper function. No remedy b a be
fore been dircovend whb'h has so brlielinal an In
fluence on these oraui us fellows' t'oniponiid
Syrup of Ih unphospliite.
For Sale by all Dnuiuiel
l'uin C;mnoL Ultxv Where
U Is Used.
lthiiemiit.isiii in cured by
A lame hack of eluht years atarnllii(? was positive
ly cured by 5fl(int north of
TAOMAS' KCbKt'TKIC OIL
C'onimou sore throat is cured with one dose of
THOMAS' ECLECTUIC OIL,
Coiiuhs uiid colds are cured by
THOMAS' EC LB CTItlC OIL.
All throat and liuiir diseases urn cured by
THOMAS' KCLKCTHIC OIL
Aethmn Is cured by
THOMAS' lX'LECTHIC OIL.
Uiirm and frost bites are relieved at oncu by
Always gives satisfaction.
Sold by Medicine Dealers everywhere,
l'rice ftOc. and f I
yoSTKK, JIlLIU'liS & CO., iToirs.
llulfalo. N. Y.
GRAY'S SPKC1KIC MEDICKE.
TRnDC MHK, Tho (ireat Eiik-
llsb remedy, An
u u full i n 14 cur ii for
polencv and all
as a sequence
of self utilise; as
Ii.mm .if mi. ,..
dltnnesa of vision, premaluro old aun and manv
other disease, instead to lusan.v7 ,o"2
or ajiremattire rave. Aousiimiiiion
t-Full parlltulara In our pamphlet, whirh wo
desire to ssmi Trea bv mall to ,.Vc," ; riIiTlio
fipeclllc Medtclna Is sold bv all drui-elstsai il nor
pae aai!.., or six packBKei for $r,, ,,r wUn,ssnt ftci
bv nialiou reu.pl otthe niunev hv Rd,,os, (?,,.'
IHS CIHAY MRDH'INK CO.,
On aceontit of counterfeits, w0 h aTa iid!!i!?.,'rtYiii n
Vtllow Wrapper; lliu only nentnnu 2
Hold In Cairo by p, n fifin-n
Wholcaaio Aauntt, Morrlton, 1'lutuC i c..
h w NEVER PAILS.
Cured my llille Rlrl of rltn. She wan alio di af tnd
dumb, hu'i ti cured h'T She can now lain ami li'irM
well us aujlHidy. 1'K inn Ko, irlni Utr, Wit,
llat in vn thr uieansof curlnij my wife of rhi'iimailiun.
J. II FLkiciiKii, Kurt C'olllun, CoL
NtM I I(IT1 M KVINE
Mudr a ture ourc of a of ni for my on.
I'. K Km. i s. Ilmtuvlllf, KU.
Cured mc ot vi rilnu. n.-.ir nul.t and sli k bemlachi',
Mh-. Wit. IIknion. Aiiruio. III.
NAM tit IT 1 .i:KVIR
Was the im iiiisof t-urlnir my wife of isnn.
Kiiv. .1. A. Kimk. II. tin r. l'a,
ti M It l i t X K F. It V I V i:
Curvd me 'el aBtlnm, 0'-r H ndliijj over M.ftH) wlin
otUenluCtorx. t. K IIoiisom, ew Albany, Id.
Effectuully cured mc of ij'ii"in
Ml .IKSN1C WaRR!,
7IH West Van Bun-n St. Clih-iwu. Ill
NAM tit IT AN NKHVIE
Cured our chllil of II t. ain r Ktven up to die by OUT
fauilly pliynleian, II h-ivln nv r no In U hours.
11 ksk Ksra Vervllla, Warren Co.. Tenn.
Cared me uf scrofula uf i. r ti(Tcrin fur ritrlit yir.
Ai.hkri' Simhsos, l'eona. III.
8 A M A ItlT.t M KVlr.
Cnrd mytuuof fltii, after spendinc K-KU wllh other
doctor,. ,1. Vi. Tuoknion, llalliorn, Ulin.
NA M A It IT t MltVINF.
C"nn-d me P'Tin.iue'itly of rptleptlr flu of a nfrjMvini
cUaraclcr. Kv. Wh. M HTir. M"chiiito.Hi)wa,Md.
NAM A KI'I'A N t:UVIXF.
Cured my sou of IP, after hnv'nit had M" In idphtset
ruonilii. Mui. K. "'HK, Wcm I'utsduiii, fc. V,
NA M A KIT A K.ltVIK
Cured me Of crlbT'yof nine vir,- standing.
Ml8 OHI.KN Mak-iui.i..
Urantiy, NeaiouCo., Mi.
NAM A KIT AW KKtlF.
.1a ftermaucatly cup'd me of eptirpsy of many year
i urailun. .hn'HM'iii, SU Joseph, Mo.
Curt-4 me of hrunt hltK anhma and P'-ni-rl di-hllliy.
i n i v k r Mvnif. Irontou, Ohio.
N A M A It IT A X fltVIF
Hm rurl nn'ol usihuia. n so roiiiUuf many y"trl
itaadiuK. ii.4Ai' .Ikwki.u (ovIuKlun, Ky.
NtU A KIT t MKVIVE
Cur'd mr of n IU,e I n wi'll fur over four T'trt,
CnAHLK" V. Ill bus. Osakt. Duuit'iass to.. .Mloo.
NA M A H IT A KKIVF
Cured I frh lid uf mile- alio had ilvpe'ia wrr Mdly.
.hi'HtKi.O'i:o.soa. Ki.;gay, l'a
NtM t KIT AN NFItVINE
ns permaii'-nitr can .1 m- of iii. !i it- flu
Jiahi) 1'kkmhi.y, O'SMulni- Iowa.
NA M A RITA N KltVIF
Cured my wife ul epil, py of X, y. ar. H'snillne
Hknbv Ci.AKa Fatrili-,,1, Mlck.
NAM AKITAN IS IK VI VF.
Cured Diy wlfeul a iierrnin iIIvam' ,.f the hed.
K. UkaHav. Nonh Hope. Pa.
NA M t KITA S K It V I K
Cnred my suuuf flu. lie has not had a 111 for tboat
taur years. ,lnii i,vi,
Woudluini. M icoupin C.. I1L
IN FOK NAI.F.
in' all mtroaisTS
Ormaylh- hail direct fp'iii ik. F'..r firtlier Inform
lion Inclose aiaoip for our lliusirm' d Jouruai alvlc
cvld'.Utvs of cuii-s. Addri-m
UU. H. A. KK IMIOM) AtO,
World's Kpiliptlc Institute,
ST. JOSEPH, MO
Iteasons Why liny ar Vieterred to ll
tlthsr Vorous Vlaslers or Ellttml
Tlcftttisa thoy possess all tho merit ef the
trenRiheninp porous plaster, and contain in ad
dition thereto the newly disi overed powerful and
active vegetable combination w hich acta with in
creased rubefacient, (ttimulatiDg, aedutlva and
liecause they arc a cenuine pbarmtceutical prep
ration, and so recognized by thu profession.
Because they are tho ouly plaetera that rclltva
jmn at once.
Doctuse they will positively c.nrediaeassg Which
tither remodiea will not evcu relieve.
Iteranse over (SOW physicians and dmRplstshaTa
voluntarily testirled that they are superior to all
filler plabtera or medicines lor titernul uto,
HefflMisn lh manufacturers havo received the
only wcdkla ever (jiveu for porous plaBlera.
Benson's Capcine Porous Plaster!
SEABURY & JOHNSON,
jmanuiaeiunnj! ChemtstH. New York.
MSIHK KK.11KIIV AT LAST. Pr"lc"SVuS
i!iiLy'.?l CORN and BUNION PlASTfKV
n FRANK TOOMEY,
AO e N'T Villi TIIK HA1.1! or
B A XT K K ST K A M KNG InE
Cult's Disc liiiftltm
ami Marine Engines
FARJI ENOLN US, MACHINISTS'
OF ALL KINDS, BELTING,
Pulleys ami General Supplies.
No, 131, North Third Htroor,
UimMM.. ULU UUULI.L
u u I.
IiliBDU" U U L
n : u
BlimUJIi" UWT LLLLLLL LLLLLLL EEEEKEK TIT IIIII NN NN
Independent in all
DELIVERED BY CARRIER, 25 CENTS PER WEEK.
$13.00 PER YEAR, 20 PER CENT DISCOUNT IP PAID
YEARLY IN ADVANCE. BY MAIL, $1.00 PER MONTH,
$10.00 PER YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
The BULLETIN JOB OFFICE
COMPLETE IN ALL ITS APPOINTMENTS. CYLINDAR
PRESSES, JOB PRESSES, CARD PRESSES, NEW
TyTE, JAPANESE AND OTHER BORDERS,
FOUR SETS OF DATE FIGURES.
NO. 1 STOCK: Envelops, Letter Paper, Note
Paper, Bill Heads, Cheek Books, Receipt
The ONLY Round Hole Perforating Ma
chine in Southern Illinois.
fJHE EEKLY BULLETIN.
46 COLUMNS 48.
Filled With Choice feoading
Matter and Local
S2.00 PEE YEAR.
Always in Advance, or No Paper.
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Neutral in Noth
FOK I'KI KB.