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TIIK DAILY CAIRO BULLETIN: SATURDAY MORNINO, JUNE 10, 1882.
1 1 hminctohoibdownOvi
Yr A SWARLMKIN0P0WDERJ
III lllTOMBOUWDTORIBt, 1
PURE CREAM TARTAR.
If!raorany inJurliiiiHKiilismriix'KOKii bo found
In Andrews' Pearl Baking Powder. Is io.
lively PURE. HeliiKeiidorhed, mid testimonial
rooeived Inun Mich cheniMs iiiiS. Dana Hays, Hon
ton; M. Helafontalne, of ChtraKo; nnd liubtavua
Bode, Milwaukee. Never sold In bulk.
P r AMnorue a rr
46 Miculgau At.
287. awiiWl E. Water
ticene ut tlm jihotooraiher's: Enter
homely man (.curing a proof. Iloiueh
Man (to artist, sorrowfully) I say, 1
don't likp this picture at all. Artist
(looking nt it) Splendid likeness, sir;
looks just like yon. Honiri Man (sadly)
That's what nil niv friends say. Hut,
thunder, I ain't as homely m that, am
I? Artist (diplomatically) -Well, I can't
say that it flatters you.W I'm sure you
couldn't got a better portrait. Homely
Man (catching at a straw) 0, come
now, couldn't 1? Ain't there Home way
in which you could make me so that I'll
look better? Arttit (critically examin
ing proof) Well, yes; you might pos
sibly get a. letter-looking picture if you
could get somebody else to sit (or you!
Exit uotnoly man in a rage.
On the neck of the young man spark
les no gem so grociuus as enterprise.
WIT AND HUMOR.
An Unanswerable Argument
A mnl'lcn nt upon a ehnlr
And ciirli-d with tonn her banged hair.
Said Grandma, iiiorallzlnir, "Well,
If faut acmffrlr pour etro lielle!"
Hhp to..i hr head, that giddy girl,
And wlnrlng an ahe pinched a eurl,
"I mi (Tor tortures:" elie onnfeaanl,
"Hut then une likva to look on' bt.
On aouffro pour etre belle, shi nald.
''No aonrTir-t-on jHinam d'etre iHide?"
Does the commercial traveller use a
enare drum in entrapping customers?
In the matter of vaccination it is the
heifer who gives the physician his best
- "Well, I'll be hound," as the man re
marked when he beard quoted the lines,
"Chains of gold are fetters still."
Thero's a young lady who follows the
fashion no closely that she will not eat
oysters unless they are scalloped.
Bits of coal poor children pick tip
near public scales aro gatherings bv the
"A work on small arms" has just
been published. Some doctor's exper
ience in vaccinating babies, probably.
It is now fashionable to name patent
medicines after the saints. This is be
cause the saints soon get those who take
Scientists tell us that all our weather
comes from the West. This is another
of the unbounded resources of that great
A youth with n turn for figures had
five eggs to boil, and being told to give
them three minutes each, boiled them
forammrtcrof an hour altogether.
A preat many people don't go to
church for fear tliey may catch the
small-pox. There is danger that the
disease might "mark the perfect man."
A Georgia planter says a negro will
do more work with two mulcsthan with
three. Of course. He has one hws mule,
"I know that she was well dressed,"
said Dr. Johnson, in speakingof a lady,
"for 1 do not remember what she had
It takes a man seven years to raise an
alligator, and then the alligator is moro
of a nuisance than he was when lirsl he
saw tho light.
Human l!eh is heir to 2,-l()ii difl'ereut
di.sea.ses. The intelligent doctor is
bound to hit tonie of them in examin
ing a patient.
"That's what beats me," as the boy
said when he saw his father take the
ekatc-strap down from its accustomed
A little girl Hsked her sister what was
chaos that her papa read about. The
elder replied, "It was a great pile of
nothing, and no place to put it in."
"Doctor, examine my tongue," wild
a good woman, "and tell me what it
needs." "It needs rest," replied the
"Mr. Smith," said a. lady at a fair,
"won't you buy a boipiet to present to
tho lady on love?" "That wouldn't be
right, said Mr. Smith, "I'm a married
At h Highland hotel, thefollowingun
ique bill was presented to u gentleman
who had made a few hour's sojourn
at the establishment; -Yur eating your
self and hnre four and thripoiice.''
Au English editor headed a lnmr ar
tide "Our Mammoth Fleet." Theeom
Msitor left the "I." out. When the pa
perHpneared the .piill-driver solemnly
nwore he would never import another
When a man dies suddenly, "without
the aid of a physician," the coroner
must bo railed in. f ft nmn ,m tu
larly, after being treated by a doctor,
everybody knows why he died, ami tho
coroner's Impicst Is not necessary.
A young lady who graduated from a
high school last July is teaching school
tip in New Hampshire. A bashful young
SeDtlcmnn visited the school the other
a', and was asked bv the teacher to
ay a few word to the pupils. This
wa his Hpocch: "Scholars. 1 hope you
will alwaya love your teacher ami your
school a much as I do." Tableau
giggling boya and glrla and a blushing
nuiinolma'am. . 4
Census-Taker: "Hoo mony sWpcrj
were here last night P" liuxnm Young
woman: j'Meepnrs: J Here was nue
(deeper ava.-' Ma wee blither had tho
toothache, nn' he greeted a' nicht, nn'
no o' us got a wink o' sleep t he halo
A young lady, who Is learning to play
on the piano, wrote tho following note
to tier music teacher a low davs asro:
"Dear Mrs. , I wish to bo Xcused from
Taken a Lesson until a Weak from 2
Davs as we will Ho Co Hnizzy and I
won't have Time li Praktess."
A little fellow, four years old, went to
a blacksmith s to see Ins father s horse
shod, and was watching closely tho
work of shoeing. When tho blacksmith
began paring the horse's hoofs, the boy,
thinking this was wrong, said earnest
ly, "My pa don't want his horse mado
A Sunday school teacher asked:
"What bird is large enough to carry off
a man?" Nobody knew; but one littlo
girl suggested "a lark." And then she
explained: "Mamma said papa wouldn't
bo homo until Monday, because he had
gono oil' on a lark."
"My brethren," said a western minis
ter, "tho preaching of tho gospel to
somo people is like pouring water over
a sponge it soaks in and stays. To
others itis like tho wind blowing through
a chicken-coop. My experience of this
congregation is that it contains moro
chicken-coops than sponges."
A gentleman somewhat advanced in
life, and who was never remarkable for
his good looks, asked his grandchild
what he thought of him. The boy's pa
rents were present, Tho youngster
made no reply. "Well, why won't you
tell mo what you think of him?" 'Cause
I don't want to get licked," was the an
swer. A Florida Indian, having bought a
sewing-machine and watched its work
ings carefully, kicked his wife out of
doors with the remark, "Need squaw
no more!" A civilized white man feels
more like kicking the sewing machine
agent out of doors.
A far Western man was very anxious
to see the capital of the United States,
lounge around Washington hotels and
go to the theatres, but he had not a cent
to his name. So he daubed himself all
up with paint, dressed in n blanket'aml
moccasins, yelled like an Indian, took a
few scalps, and in one week was on bis
way to the capital in a palace ear to
have a pow-wow with the White Father.
At a whale exhibition, a youngster
asked his mamma if the whale that
swallowed Jonah had as large a mouth
as the one before them why didn't Jonah
walk out nt one corner. "You must
think Jonah was afoul; he didn't want
to walk out and get drowned." was the
quick reply of a younger brother, be
fore the mother could answer.
Percy, eight years old, just gettinc
over tbe measles, whs sitting up in boil
and taking breakfast from a tray on his
lap. which needed to be levelled up. His
father suggested that a book be used for
the purpose, whereupon the promising
youngster quickly roii-d: "Yea, give
us 'Elijah., the Tishbite,' " placing the
accent on the last syllable.
Two churchmen were deploring the
spread of agnosticism, when one of
them asked the other if he had ever
known an instance of a truly religious
man who had gone over to tho heretics.
"Yes," was the answer, "I knew of a
pious lirooklvn shoemaker who rejected
Christianity because it encouraged a be
lief in the immortality of soles." His
friend paid for the drinks.
A country schoolmaster had two pu
pils, to one of whom he was partial and
to the other severe. One morning it
happened that these two boys were late,
and were called up to account for it.
"You must have heard the bell, boys;
why did you not come?" "Please, sir,"
said the favorite, "I was dreaming that
I was going to Margate, and I thought
the school bell was the steamboat bell."
" ery well," said the master, glad of
any pretext to excuse his favorite. "And
now, sir," turning to the other bov,
"what have you to say?" "Please, fiir'
said tbe puzzled boy, "I I was waiting
tu see join on.
The Oommercial History of Isabella's
Lying upon the desk of Gov. Noble,
at the Sew York Custom House seizure
room, was a magnificent jewel. It was
a ring formerly worn by Queen Isabella
of Spain, and was ono of the collections
of Jewels soldjin Europe for herMajosty'g
account about three years ago. It had
been seized for non-payment of duties,
tho allegation being that it was smug
gled Into port.
Speaking of the seizure of the ring,
Capt. Hrackett, said: "If a man or wo
man of great wealth and high social
position bring into this country jewels
as part of their articles of wear, they are
passed free, under the supposition that
they are for their own individual use.--If
subsequently the parties who bring
them iu are reduced in circumstances,
and aro compelled to sell them, I doubt
if the government could claim or collect
any duties. Hut in this case it is differ
ent. The man who brought this jewel
here, is undoiihteldy wealthy, but he did
not bring it here for his own use, as is
shown by the fact that he put it on the
market at Albany immediately. There
being no purchaser for it there, it was
sent here. '
The ruby in theeenterisoval in shape,
magnificently cut, and is a fifteen
carat stone, the largest of its kind ever
brought to this country.
The diamonds, twelve iD number,
cluster around the ruby, and are one
carat stones each. Every kind of ruso
was resorted to to keep the officers from
seizing the ring, but Capt. Bracket
threatened to put tho entire establish
ment in the hands of the officers unless
It was surrendered, and tho threat had
the desired effect.
England, the largest ventilating fan in
the world is employed. It is driven by
a pair of high-pressure engines, each
having a cylinder three feet six inches
In diameter and a three foot six inch
stroke. The wheel of this fan is fifty
feet In diameter, and it can be driven
at the rate of fifty revolutions a minute,
causing the outer extremities of tho
blades to travel in sixty seconds at the
speed of a mile and a half. Every min
ute this enormous machine moves 200,.
TOO cubic feet of air through more than
fourteen miles of passages. .,
To worry about any Liver, Kidney or Uri
nary Trouble, especially Blight's Disease or
Diabetes, as Hop Bittersn never fails of a cure
where ncuro is possible. Wo know this.
Boys and Girls,
"If I had a dozen children I would
want them all boys," said Mrs. Thrifty.
"Boys can take care of themselves, they
aro energetic, enjoyable, and it doesn't
take half so much sewing to keep a fam
ily of boys along."
"Now, if I should have my choice,"
said Mrs. Workhard, "I should rather
have my children all girls. Girls aro so
gentle, so helpful, havfl so much moro
refinement than boys; and then it is
such a pleasure to sew for them, they
look so prettily in the garments made
"Very well,ladies,"said Mrs. Sensible,
"you are both rigjit ami wrong. I be
lieve in a mixed family part boys, part
girls. The boys influence the girls to
self-reliance, the girls refino the lioys by
their gentleness. A boy w ho is brought
up with sisters makes the most. manly
man. and the girl who is brought up
with the brothers makes the most wo
manly woman." AV Haven Hegisler.
Buck Mack is a handsomo young fd
low ut Louisa Court House, Virginia,
and Laura Albert is bis jealous sweet
heart. Mack was to spend a day by
appointment with tho threu Misses Tol
ford, and Laura believed that they had
matrimonial intentions toward him. Sho
sent them a box of candy w ith this mes
sage: "Dear girls, cat all this candy your
selves. There is not enough of it to of
fer to o'' rs." They obeyed tho injunc
tion, nnd were nearly killed by tho poi
bou it coutaiued.
A Physician's Testimony.
In the treatment of lung and bronchial
diseases tho liver is often implicated to
such an extent that a hepatic remedy be
comes necessary in effecting a cure of the
lungs. In the treatment of such cases I
prescribe Simmons Liver Regulator with
entire satisfaction. I fiml that it acts mild
ly but effectually in regulating the Accre
tions of the liver, stomach and bowels.
I. L. Stkiui KNsON, M. D.,
The Figure May he Faultless.
the complexion without a blemish, yet if
the teeth are neglected, the other attributes
of beauty fall short of their due effect. If
the teeth are not hopelessly decayed, Sozo
dont will renew their whiteness aud beauty.
This wholesome, beautifying agent, more
over, renders the breath sweet and commu
nicates a becoming ruddiness to the gums
and a roseate hue to the lips. A fair trial of
t'u's staudnrd article will demonstrate its
Fortunes Far mern and Mechajiics
Thousands of dollars can bo saved by us
ing proper judgment in taking care of the
health of yourself and family. If you are
Bilious, have sallow complexion, poor appe
tite, low and depressed spirits, and generally
debilitated , do not delay a moment, but
go at once ami procure a bottle of those
wonderful Electric Bitters, which never fail
to cure, and that for tho trifling Bum of fit'
ty cents. Inbuuv. Sold by Geo. E
Evils to he Avoided.
Over-eating is in one sense as proguctive
of evil as intemperence in drinking. Avoid
both, and keep the blood purified with Bur
lock Blood Bitters, and you will be reward
ed with robust health and an invigorated
system. Price f 1.00.
By the use of Fellows' Syrup of Hypo
phosphites the blood is speedily vitalized
and punned, and so made capable of pro
ducing a sound mind and body.
Mothers! Mothers!! Mothers!!!
Are you disturbed at night ami broken
of your rest by a sick child suffering and
crying with the excruciating pain of cutting
teellu It so, go at once and get a bottle ot
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. It will
relieve the poor little sufferer immediately
depend upon it; there is no mistake
about it. There is not a mother on earth
who has evtr used it, who will not tell you
at once that it will regulate the bowels,
and give rest to the mother, and relict and
health to the chilit, operating like magic.
It is pcrlectly safe to use m all cases, and
pleasant to tho taste, and is tho prescrip
tion of one of the oldest mid best female
physicians and nurses in the United States.
Sold everywhere. 25 cents a bottle.
A GOOD BARGAIN
Will be given some enterpriseing
in Tn K hi i.i.ktin Building, which is
offered for Bale on easy terms, fong
and low rate of interest. The building
has rented for the oast year for
lifty to sixty-two dollars per month.
I he property consists of 4 lots, and two
brick buildings - a three story 40x(IO and a
two story l(i x 4.1. Has a frontage of f0
feet on Washington avenue and 150 feet on
12th street. If desired the machinery, en
gine, boiler, iVc, in the 2 story building
will be sold with it. For particulars nd
dress this office, or John II. O'oerly, Bloom
LOST MANHOOD RESTORED.
A tlntlin of ynutliltil Imprudent- raitimt; I'retna
lur Iwi ay, Nrrvmm Ihdullty, Lost MaiilioH. eti,
biTliiR tried In vain nvery known r'inny, ilm-covi-rrd
a Kimplof II cuti'. whic h tin ill n inl Fit H E
to l:u f.dlow-iiHTi.ri. iKldn'KH J, ID. lti;t'.l
-If. Mint lui in M.. K. V.
GRAY'S SPECIFIC MEDICINE.
TRADf MARK. Tho (.mil Kug-
IImIi remedy, Au
unlftlltiiK corn for
potency r.jd all
dltit'UM'd that folnw
a a tenmir.c
of aolf alnme;
u.... urn, im Yimou, iirt'itiaiurtt old ac, and
or a ;irmature irrava.
trKilll tiartlcuUra In nnr tmmi.hUi ...1.1.1.
.v.w nim ni-i.i, llipjl UT
au in inan iv. r,. ......
doalr tn nDd free, hv mall to evcrvniio i ir'i'k!
SperlncModlrlno im hvall draggl'ia a ; il 11V,
nacKBB. nr alx.parkauv for f or win le ,?, ft
bv mall on rocuipt of the tnonev, hv ariilriinpltM.
TU UIMY MKDK'INK CO
. . . . ,. "crru N. v"
On ar.cntint of counterfeit, wh haw a.iotited tlm
bellow Wrapper; tba oul ueniilnu. (Inaianiee
Sold In Cairo hy P. 0. Se ll I'll
Whntcaala Asonl. Muirou. l'liimw .1. .
Chills and Fever.
Hlllimoil I. Ivor ltimii.
titior mioii hri'iika t'10
eh 1 1 la aud nn rim tlm
fever nut ol the avatetn.
1 I' ll re Hhen all other
ri iiieilit'H Intl.
K r the relief aud euro
or tli I h (llHlruKitlinr. ill,
en.' nno Sliiiiiio'ia Liv
TIlM Ttf'f'll 1 til tir U'iM iwmltlvuiu .-hp. ti.I a .
diHcnHu. u HHHvri t iiipliut Iciilly what wo know to
1(11 II II Ut
Plioiilil nut Iih rewarded 11 a trllllriR ailment. N a
ture ileniuiid iliu ntiiioxt regularity of the hmvula
Therefore uik'i nature, hy taking Kniinioiiti Llvor
. KHiiiiur. 11 1 iiitriiiii'dN, nuio aim ellectuul.
One or two tiihlivpodiifnl will re.lh.vo all the
immnr nn nii iii m a nmoim aiate, ucii an NaiKea
lizziiieiii, DroHKincuH, DiHtreuB alter ealhiR, a bit-
III 1.1,0 litrii: 111 int.- IIIOIMIi.
I'l-rcon nmy avoid nil ntliuks hy occasionally
takliis a do" of KiininoiiH l.ivur J!ej;ulutor to keep
1 ne iner 111 in-iiiiiiy union .
L'fiieriilly urmini! lr.1111 a disordered etomach. Can
ho corrected bvtakniK rdmunni Liver ltejultor.
StlllHlOIll l.lvt'r Kt'i'llllll r tomi atriwIiMilna tlita illa.
in(if from thtf B,8U -in, U'tiviiitf the ektu cUnr and
in k uuiii nil 1 ii'iMirmt'd
' " " f . ...... c.iwi. I.A'l IICIIIU IU
lief when Simmons l.lver KeKitlutor ia adniiiilHtcr-
Clillilren Kllft'ertin. wllh rillp a....n Uv...,.l..n... a
id. Atlll'l ill 101 derive (jreut benefit from thin
meiuriiie. It is not utipleaaaiit; It la harmless
and ell'eellvo. l'uiely vejji lithlu.
J t L. A D I ) K 1 1 & K 1 1 )N EYS
Mont of the ilieae ol the lilmlder iirii-tnote from
inosu 01 urn Kinney. He-lore I tin anion of tlm
liver fullyiiiid hoth the kiducya and bladder will
.... 1 LT I ,M I II.
V'rff-I'ltLl. I.lltv till, i-.it.tlilli. tulktelt ulu'.v. I.ua r.n
the wrapper then d Z trade murk and sinimture of
For sale by all tlrtinvift.
Pain Cannot Slav Wlioio
It Is Used.
Kliucmiitlun Ik cured hy
THOMAS' EtLKCTItIC OIL.
A Inme buck of cicht year standing was pocittve-
ly cured by Mi cent worth of
TAOMA8' EC'I.ECTKK' OIL
Common fare throat ic cured with one done of
THOMAS' ECI.ECTH1C OIL.
Coughs at.d cold are cured by
THOMAS' ECI.KCTKIC OIL.
All throat unci lunu (liceaccf are cured by
THOMAS' KC'I.EC'TKIC OIL
Asthma if cured by
THOMAS' KCLECTKIC OIL.
Iiurnt aud froet bites are relieved at once by
THOMAS' ECLfcCTKlC OIL.
Always gives satisfaction.
Sold by Medicine Dealers everywhere.
Price JiOc. and t
VOSTER, JIlLltURN & CO., Prop'rs.
Buffalo. N. Y.
Sill YOLK CAPITAL
ntlllllllllM 111 l.eillll IViit'lulr..... n...l
Til VnotriVU fit cr.nlt nn.l ...... 11
St.ickH iih fully iir'nteeteil as tiioht
Iv. heml nt nneo for expliiniitory
fifty ei.etilnrrt mill ohhI record, FHKK.
Our niieei HHful, f 11 11 v triod, old n.
t.ililiKlitnl plan. Try It. HoiKirta
tnontliH on thin fund ;i 7 1 tx-r
Hliino. AiMrexn I I.KMMIVO
. ... . rt4 l
!u, rntcriribii- man. Wnto Xor
M-Vj KUANIv TOOMEY
flllV li AOKNT Pull THK PAI.8 OP
f liAXTKUHTKAM KNfilxK
llii t'olt'n DlKC EllRillU
and Marine Engines
KNOIXKS A SPECIALTY.
FARM KNCINKS. Maciuviw-in'
M.ni, . ar " ' ' "l
STKA M pit i i
. I Air riv, . MAnilNKRY
Ob ALL KIMiS, RKLTIN(i,
PtillcVH iiinl ficntTnl Supiilics.
No. I ll, Nnrlh Third Slret-t,
liiiurnt. ILi. I... M
uralm, StillinKi.i, ami
many of tho best nicdl-
Cllll kllnurtl AM Mm.
1j1ii. i1 in r.-ukcr'aGliiRsr
I onic, Inio a medicine
f tin h varictl powerit, an
to make It thu greatest
Iltooil Ptirilier and llm
4 iicHinrer Kmr ind
It ClirrA Uh.imjll,m
Dnrtnnfa SleopleiisnMii & dijcacH,
I Ul rCI O n ino Mnin.ii n, llowrlj,
J I D-l- I-uiK'i Uverft Kittncy,
rlair DalSl3m &l"orrlydinrereiitfrnm
Th. IUL Cln..i. .,i r.nwn, rdncr Kwencea
ninfl, prf-.ni'iii... . ii. .r L'n. uiur, ...in,... tia it
Inn, Nv full lo rmlorit thi nevcrlnloxlc.ilf. Itisro
.-.. w 1...I ii... 1.. ... T... H. I.
youunui B..w,r.y uiur. & ( 0,( Chcmlnta, N. V.
Iiidepondt'iit in all
DELIVERED BY CARRIER, 23 CKNTS PEK WEEK.
$13.00 TEIt YEAR, 20 TEK CENT DISCOUNT IF PAID
YEARLY IN ADVANCE. BY MA 1 L, 1.00 PER MONTH,
f 10.00 PER YEAR, IN ADVANCE.
COMPLETE IN ALL ITS
PRESSES, JOB PRESSES, CARD PRESSES, NEW
TyTE, JAPANESE AND OTHER BORDERS,
FOUR SETS OF DATE FIGURES.
NO-. 1 STOCK: Envelops, Letter Paper, Note
Paper, Bill Heads, Check Books, Receipt
Books, Ac, &c.
The ONLY Hound
chine in Southern Illinois.
WIUTKKOU IJM KH.
TJIE WEEKLY RUILETIN.
II If 11
48 COLUMNS 44).
Filled With Ohoico Beading
Matter and Local
TERMS BY MAIL:
SS.OO PEB YEAR.
Always in Advance, or No Paper.
Neutral in Noth-
UN J O B OFFICE
Hole Perforating Ma