Newspaper Page Text
DAILY CAIRO BULLETIN.
CAIRO. ILLINOIS. TUESDAY MORNING, JUNE 13, 1082.
Mayor N.B.Ttaistlewood. ,
Treasurer T. J. Kerth.
Clerk-Dinnls. J, Foley.
ruiiuselor-Win. It. (Illbert.
Mrahul-L. H. Meyers.
ROAH1) or ALKIKKIH.
Firm Ward -Win. Mdlale.T. M. Klmbrougb.
S,., mid Ward-Jense lliukle, (J. N. Hughes,
.... i . ii I Ii If ItUl. .Inhii Wt,nA
I lllrii " a.i " "" ....
Fourth Ward Charles 0. I'atler, Adolph Bwo-
Fifth Ward-T. W. Halllday, Brneat B. Pettlt.
Cirnill .In U'-l. J. linker.
Circuit Clurlc-A. 11. lrvln.
County Judge K. 8 Yocinn.
ronnty Clerk H.J. Iliimm.
County Attorney J. M. Iiamron.
County Treasurer-Miles W. Parker.
County ('omnilwitoners-T. W. Halllday, J. A
GUil.i Mild I'et'T Haiip.
CAIRU UVFTIST.--O.rnor Tenth and Poplar
) airei-t; preaching nrt and third Hundaya lu
car ri moliUi, II a ni. anil i . p .u -, l7
, TUr-d.y.7:.J.. ,,. ! hand., school.
- nil it U ffl.K KM KRKylticnh1
luurt-i-nlh street; Sunday 7:fWa m., Holy
Km hariKt: a. in., nunuy -; . -
Morning 1'iayurs; H im) p. m., Evening I'rayere. F
T. II. Hector.
iMI.ST MISSIONARY BAPTIST CHURCH.
!' iT.a. hint-allodia n... a p. m., and 7:30 p. m.
,nt im'li cr.liiMil si I ii" F' "
IriltKmN-Thlrteeiitb street; seprti! Hah
Uth l:i a. in i 8'iudsy tcbool2p.ni. Rev.
Km. piii1, 1'nofir
Mr illol)iKT-C..r. Klghir anu
Pr.-i.-l.1ng H.bbath 11 -.00 a.m. T-. "?
-ui,.uv Mhu.il it V m. Key. J. A.bcarrelt,
11 ! ; I. ! II r. nin ft11 - - - r - - -
. m at n: a. -"'':!:
. - ,.i-,.i .-f irtj) i w vt.rt.th arrAi ureicuiiii uu
"Vnc.-tliiir Wednesoay ai i.t.p.n.. """"-i "
H n m. Rev B. V. Oeore, paator.
CT. JosKIII 8 -.Roman Catholic I Corn., ; Cros.
O and walnut sireie; ' . .
,n. -, tvindav 8i h.x.l at 2 p. m. ; Vepri 3 p m. , eer
nri . ovry day at Ii a. m. lie. O'Hara, l'rlest.
ST 1'ATKIfK'S RomD Catholle) Comer Ninth
irel and WwhlDRton iTnn; ierrlcii Hib-oa-h
B and 10 a in. ; Ve.ptr 8 p. m. ; Bnnday School
1 1.. in. i-rvlct every day at . m. Ret. Masteniou
K. R. TIME CARD AT CAIRO.
ILLINOIS CKNTKAL K. K.
TM.IV. UBI-iKT. THAU. AHima
Kxvr 11:10 a. m
Accomdatlon..4;05 p ro
MISH CKNTKAL K. K.
4::a.m tMall .. .. a:.p ra
Kxirera 10:1 ta m
(Narrow Game )
BipriiM - p ro
Aecoiu'datoln 14:01 p.m
ST. L.AC H K
Accom'datlou. l:Jp m
w-r i i v H K H
tExpr.......il::ipin ItEipr..-.; p.m
tAcconi aatiou. :ip m tAm datlon ll.ttk.m
WABASU. ST. LOUS A PACIFIC U'V CO.
Mall K.... 4 41 Vtn Mall Ex.... 9;J)p m
Dally i-xccpt Sunday, t Daily.
MOBILE A OHIO K. K.
Mall ..6:OSim.Mall 8:W)p.m.
Kxpn-M :0i i.m. I Kxpren 8:ao p.m.
JLLINOIS CENTRAL R. R.
Shortest and Quickest Route
St. Louis and Chicago.
Tho Onlv Lino Hunnint
Making Direct Connkotion
T. !-. ;in.Maili
Arrlvlmiln 8t. Loiil 45a.m.; ChlcaRO, 8:30 p.m.;
I'onncctiiiK at Odin and Bmngham for Cincin
nati, Loulivlllo. ludlanftpoliiaud polnti Kaet.
11 :H) a.m. Wt. IiouIm iml Wtern
Arrlvltit; to Bt. LnuL7:05p. m ud connecting
(or all point Wuat.
4:0 p.m. Kiidt I'lxpreii.
JorSt. Loiila and (;hlcao. arrivinu at St. LouU
1U:4) p.m., and Chicago 7 :'J0 a m.
4:( p.m.CMnoiniutti Kxiira.
Arrlvlni! at Cincinnati 7:00 a.m.; Louilllo 7:30
a m.i liidlHiiapolla 4:00 a.m. FaawMuri bjr
thm train n-acli the above polnti I J to JtJ
UOl'KS In advance of any other route.
If-Thn 4:J0 p. m. oipruM ha PULLMAN
H.KKIMNUIAK Cairo to Cincinnati, without
chatiKua, and thrown ilouperi to Bt. Louli and
Fast Timo KmsI.
UlSSeil!;eiS ,.ro point without ny dnlay
caiiKiwl by Biindav Intervi-iilnc. Tho Haturday irtir
noon train from Cairo arrive. In new Yo'k Mouday
tnornltiRat 10::tr. ThlrtyHx houraln advanced
nr ntlmr roulo. . .....
y-l'or thrniiifh tlckeli and further Information,
ai'iilv at Illiuula Central lUllroad Di.pot, Cairo.
J. 11. JONK8. Ticket AKent.
A. 11. HANSON, Out). Para. Auont. Chlcaito
gT. LOUIS & CAIRO R. R.
TKAINSIIUN AS FOLLOWS.
Exprem and Mall luavc. Cairo, every day except
Bnnday, at H):S a. m. Arrlv.i4:3Rp. m.
Accommo.liiUonarrtvciatlii:05 p. m. and do
iar atliiiil P-m.
W. C. J0CKLYN,
OFFICE Klghth Street, near Comnirclal ArtnDe
jyn. E. W. WH1TL0CK,
Ornoi-Mo, 1M Oomnserclal Atonue, batwatn
Kghth and Ninth Stret
120 Broadway, New York,
of any Life Insurance Company
IN TIIM WOULD.
It alone Itmivi
I ncontestiblo lJolicioH
ftlpnlatlnjj that Die contract of Insurance "iball
not be dlip-jtod" aft.fr It la thruo years old,
and thjt luth pollcli;. ehall be
on receipt of lattafaclory prooriof death.
lt policy la clear and conciio, and contain.
NO ARDUOUS CONDITIONS.
N. B READ YOUR POLICIKJt. Compare the
iliort and aimplo form naed by the Bntiitadle u lib
tbe louu and ob.curv contract, loaded down with
U.-chnl. lltlei laaaed by other companies!
Its CASH RETURNS
to policy bolder! are
N. I). 8eo the many letter, from nnllrv t i.M..r.
expn..lng their gratification with the returui from
their Tonti.1i Savinob Funk Pouciia.
liecuuso of its
Isvsets Securely Invested
Surplas Securely InvetHl, nearly
K. A. BURNETT, Agent.
Office, corner 12th and Washington.
FoTftnber J4, lssl. m3dw
tfl'TUAL AID SOCIETY.
A SUBSTITUTE FOR LIFE INSUR
WIDOWS' & ORPHANS'
Mutual Aid Society,
OrcanlicdJalv Uth, 1877, rmler the Laws o
the 5(Ht.-of Illinois. Copyrighted Julv
0, 1877, Under ActofCongriM.
V. T. BUDI) ,
J. A. OOLDSTINE.
JOHN C. WHITE
KXKUUT1V CO M M1TTK K
II. LEIOHTON, L. b. THOMAS,
J. C. WHITE, W. F. PITCH KH,
William Htratton, of Stratton A Bird, wbnliiHle
procer.; Paul (J. Hchub, wholesale and retail driu
Ktat; Har.en LelKht.ni, couimia.lon merchaut; Jan.
S. McOahey, lumber dealer; J. J. Gordon, phy.
Iclan; J. A. Goldatino, of Uoldatine lloxenwator,
vt'holi'.alu and retail dry Koodo, etc; Win.F. Pitcn
er, general aent; Hunrvll. Kills, city printer and
honk binder; Cbe.ley Haynee, Cooper; Jno.
While, aaalatant aecretury and aollcltor: Albert
Lewi., dealer In flour and grain; F. Hron., priml
dent Alexander County Bank ; ti. W. Ilendricka,
contractor and builder; Cyrua (Mn.e, general
acent; Thoma. Lewie, eerreUry and attorney at
law; L, 8, Tboinaa, broom manufacturer; W. K
Kniiel, contractor and builder; C T, Rudd
agent C. Si. L. AN. O. rallaoad ;Monua Phlllipn.rar
tieuler; II . A. Chumbley, contractor, Cairo, 111...
ltev. J. Spencer, clergyman, St Leuls, Mo.; J. H.
Iletbuno, circuit clerk, MMolarippI county, Charlea
ton, Mo.; J. H. Mnoro , lavver, Commerce, Mo.'
1). Slngletarv, phvalclan, Arlington, Ky.j J. W.
Tarry, phy. Iclan, Fulton, Ky. ; Wm. Ryan, farmer,
Murrv, Kv. ; A. Stelnbach, manufacturer of tad
dlerv, Evanivlllo, Ind.;Ike Audcnon, iecrutary
to iuperlntendent C. St. L. N O. railroad, Jack
eon, Tenn.; J. 8, Robertson, phvaiclan, While
villi), Tenn. ; Thomaa A. ILborn, harn.wa maker,
Hull var, Ten . : Wm.L. Walker, "Dixie Adver
tiling Agencr " Uoltv Sorlnri, Mini
HE CITY NATIONAL BANK.
Of Culro. IlHnoia.
71 OHIO LEVEE.
A General Banking; business
TIIOS. W. IIALLIDAY.
JNTERl'KISB SAV1N0 DANK.
Of Cairo, .
EXCLUSIVELY A SAVINGS BANK.
TIIOS . W. IIAL.LI15 AY,
Natural Fruit Flavors.
Prepared from the choicest Fruits, with
out coloring, poisonous oils, acids or artific
ial Essences. Always uniform in strength,
without any adulterations or impurities.
Hate gained their reputation from their
perfect purity, superior strength and qual.
ity. Admitted by all who have used them
as the most delicate, grateful and natural
flavor for cakes, puddinr,:, creams, etc.
STEELE & PRICE,
Chicago, IlL, and St. Louis, Mo
.tmof L.p.ll. Tnil ., nr. PrW. Cnm Baklaf
r. lad Ur, frlc.-. talou r.rrM.
WE MAKE NO SECOND CHAPE COOD8.
NEW YORK STORE,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
The Largest Variety Stock
IN" TIIK CITY.
GOODS SOLD VERY CLOSE
o. o. patip:r & oo.,
Cor. Nineteenth ftreet) Paiin Til
Commercial AytDne VttllU, 111.
ffHE KEOULAR CAIRO AND PADUCAH
UAIL I r ACliKT.
aaavi w rv -w w i jm .mm . t :
HENUY E. TAYLOR Master
OEO. JOBES Clerk
Leaven Paducali for Cairo duliy (Sundays except
) at 8 a.m. and Mound City at 1 p m. Return
g, Li-avue Cairo at4 p. m. Mound. City at Sp. m.
FERRY HO AT
(JAIRO CITY FERRY CO.
THREE tfiEtl STATES.
On r.nd after Monday, Jane 7th, and until tnrther
uotlne theferiyboal will make trlpi aa followe:
MATIi LRAVIg LIAVH
Foot Fourth et. MlMonri Land'g. Eentur.ky Ld g.
8:00 a.m. 8:30 a.m. 9 a.m. -
10:00a. m. 10:30a.m. 11 a.m.
3:00 p.m. 2:30 p.m. 3 p.m.
4:(Xi p.m. 4::Wp.m. 5;o0p.m.
2 p. m. 8:30 p.m. 3 p.m
THE A. B. S AFFORD.
Dally packet between Cairo and Moan d City Cap
tain Au -tin Owen.
Leaves Cairo t:,10 A. M.
Mound Cily 8::t " "
" Cairo 12:0Noon
" Mound City 1:30 P. M.
" Cairo 4:30 ' "
" Mound City " "
BOARD: 9.00 PEK WEEK, ).00
l-OSTOmcE, AI.LEN B1-HIN09, rOI'B CO. ILL.
DIXON SPRINGS aro situated In a spnr of the
O.ark Mountains, ton mile, from Uolconda and
fourteen miloi from Vienna, In a beautiful valloy
urroiinded by high clilla.
The icnnery Is uuaurpassed and the water la
strong with mineral properties. No. 1 la strong
w.tb Iron, No. it with magnesia, sulphur and Iron- a
free use of tho water has proved an uufalllng reme
dy lor Dyspepsia, Jaundice, Liver Complaint,
Kidney afflictions and Chrouto Diarrhoea. As a
summer rosort Dixon Springs Is deservedly popn
lar. being quiet, secluded and cool, free from duet
ana moHnultooi, Season from first of June to first
of Decombor. JOS. E. LEMEN,
W. F. Lahiumn, river editor of i'n IIkm.tiw
and itcambnat paHonir aont. Orders for all
kinds of steamboat Job printing solicited. Olllce
at I'laiiters Hotel, No. 51 Ohio leveo.
HTAtlBH OK TIIK lirvKU.
Tliu rivur mttrkud ly tho gaugo Uht cvt-n-in
Ht tliiu point at livo . in., .'10 feet
2 inclii'H and fulling,
Pittsburg, Juno 12-5 p. m. River 5 fret
7 incbos and fullin
Cincinnati, Juno 12-5 p.m. River 20
feet 5 inches and falling.
St. Louis, Juno 13-5 p.m. River 21 foot
10 inches and falling.
Louisville, Juno 12 5 p. m. River 10
feet 9 inches and falling.
Nanhvilk', Juno 12-5 p. in. River 7 feet
G inches and falling.
Tho Gold Dust arrivi from New Or
leans and departed for St. Louis yesterday.
The John 8. Oilinorc arrived from Ht.
Louis yesterday, and departed fur New Or
leans at half past seven.
The Clias. Rrowu, with a baruo in tow.
arrived from St. Louis yesterday.
ThoSte. Genevieve is duo from St. Louis
bound for Memphis.
The Mary Houston will not arrive on
time, as we announced. She collided with
the Chas. Morgan yesterday, a short dis
tance above Louisville.
The John H. Maude, from Memphis, nr-
rived yesterday. Hho departed for St.
Louis at 1 p. m.
The U. P. Shenck arrived from Cincin
nati uuday loaded fiat. She departid
same duy at 7 p. m.
Yesterday was a beautiful day and very
The Cons Millar is due here for Mem
phis to-morrow evening. W. F. Lambdin,
is her agent. Office: No. 54 Ohio levee.
Tho Andy Baum will pass here for Cin
cinnati next Thursday morning. W. F.
Lambdin, agent, 5-i Ohio levoo.
The City of Alton arrived yesterday
from St. Louis, and departed for New Or
leans same day.
Cairo is a great friend to steamboats, as
be hardly ever allows them to leave port
looking hungry and needy. It they want
freight Cairo has always got sometospsre.
The Gus Fowler arrived from and do
parted for Paducah on time yesterday.
The C. W. Anderson was sold a few
days ago to Wheeling, W. Va., parties for
The Vint. Shinkle arrived Sunday after
noon from Memphis, and departed same
day for Cincinnati.
The Fannie Tatum arrived from St.
Louis Sunday night. Shn departed for
Paducah and Cumberland river at 10:o0,
and is due here on her return trip to St.
Louis this morning.
The City of Vicksbnrg, from St. Louis,
arrived Sunday evening. She loft same day
The B. S. Rhea arrived from and depart
ed for Nashville yesterday.
A Baptist Minister's Experience.
I am a Baptist minister, and before I
even thought of being a clergyman, 1 grad
uated in medicine, but left a lucrative prac
tice for my preseut profession, 40 years ago.
1 was tor many years a sutterer from quinsy ;
"Thomas' Eclectric Oil cured me." I was
also troubled with hoarseness, and Thomas'
Eclectric Oil always relieved me. My wifo
and child had diphtheria, and "Thomas'
Eclectric Oil cured them," and if taken in
time it will euro seven timesout of ten. I am
confident it is a euro for tho most obstinate
cold or cough, and if any ono will take a
small teaspoon and half fill it with tho Oil,
and then place the end of the spoon in one
nostril and draw tho Oil out of the spoon
into the head by sni flint; as hard as they
can, until the Oil falls over into tho throat,
and practice that twice a week, I don t care
how offensive their head may be, it will
clean it out and cure their catarrh. For
deafness and earache it has done wonders to
my certain knowledge. It is the only
medicine dubbed patent medicine that I
have ever felt like recommending, and I am
very anxious to see it in every place, for I
tell you that I would not bo without it in my
house for any consideration. I am now
suffering with a pain liko rheumatism in
my right limb, and nothing rclioves mo like
Thomas' Eclectric Oil.
Dr. E. F. Chane, Corry, Ta.
Paul O. Scluih, Agent.
Au Old Friend.
He was afflicted with a lame back and
generally debility;' ho was recommended
Thomas' Eclectric Oil which cured him at.
once. This famous specific is a positive
remedy tor bodily pain. Paul G. Schuh,
Geo. Meredith, Jersey City, wrilcs: "Tho
Spring Blossom you scut me has had tho
happiest effect on my daughter; her head
ache and depression of spirits has vanished.
She is again ablo to go to school, and is as
lively as a crickot. I shall certainly ro-
commend it to all my friends. Price 50
cents, trial bottles 10 cents. Paul G.
Schuh, Agent. '
Dlt. TCYrnir'a flnif if Mrnui RkrTOREB if
the marvel of the age for all nerve diseases.
All flta stopped free. Bond to 031 Arch
treet, Philadelpia, Pa.
Physical Degeneracy in Cities,
The best season of the year for esti
mating tho comparative health of city
residents and country people is the early
Spring, for Winter gives increase of ap
petite and compels wtout physical resist
ance of low temperature 'I he compari
son is decidedly against city life. Young
and old, rich and poor, the denizens of
largo cities appear to physical disadvant
age beside, rural residents of equal intel
ligence. In tho city there aro tnanylux
uries that come to bo regarded as neces
sities, exercise worth tho name is almost
unknown, tho atmosphere out of doors
is far inferior to that twenty miles away,
while indoors, thanks to small rooms,
small wall exposure and imperfect
plumbing, tho air is generally unlit to
breathe. Cily people as a ruin are far
nioru careful in their physical habits
than country people, but no attention to
minor details can compensate for lack of
exercise, pure air and the vigorous np
petilo that insures sufficient liysieal re
pair. City people may display rosier
faces and brighter eyes than their coun
try cousins, but consumptives, at a cer
tain stage of their malady, can out do
cither. The test of health is endurance,
and,' judged by this, either mental or
physical, the city man is the inferior of
the country man. The rage for athletic
sports among city youth is good as far
as it goes, but it does not go farcnough;
of the members of boat clubs, ball clubs
and similar organizations, about ono in
ten do something, while the other nine
think it sullicient snort to thru.it their
hands into their pockets and look on.
There are plenty of ways of overcoming
most of tho degenerating influences of
city life, but tho fact that few people
avail themselves of them shows that tho
city man does not even know what good
physical condition is. New York Ucr-ald.
WIT AND flUMOB.
The plumber, unlike the water-pipe
on which ho thrives, never busta up.
Sir Walter Raleigh made his way to
fortune and fame by politeness. He was
not one of the Elizabethan ruffs.
Irish epitaph: ''Erected to the memo
ry of John Philips, accidentally shot as
a mark of affection by his brother."
Tho absent-minded hen is a great
trouble to herself. She forgets where
she laid her la.st egg.
Ilanlan claims to bo of Russian ex
traction. Ho is certainly a Row-mau-off.
Tho hardest rocks are made of the
softest mud, just as the biggest swells
are made from the smallest men.
A gentleman said, when a pretty cirl
trod on his toe, that he had received the
stamp of beauty.
It is said that a Brooklyn landlord
never smiles except when he can charge
it 10 nis tenants.
Why aro balloons in the air liko vaga
bonds? Because they have no visible
means of support.
A good many of tho young men of
this city are natural sailors. At least
we judge so from tho ease with which
they pilot schooners over the bar.
Chesterfield used to sav, "Never walk
fast; a gentleman is never in a hurrv."
But, then, there were no railroad trains
or horse-cars to catch in his day.
Boiling hair in a solution of tea will
darken it, savs an exeluitip'o; but somo
folks don't like to hae lueir tea dark
ened in that way.
Tutor in Mrrhanirs If a body moot a
body Sophomore (in an undertone,
mechanically) Coming through tho
A Philadelphia man fell dead while
running for a car. My son, don't run
for a car; it pays better to run for an of
fice. Tho safest way to curry a mulo is not
to begin the operation until you have
etherized hiui. His natural sleep Ls
A correspondent wants toknow where
the expression "let up" comes from.
Wo believe it conies from the fellow who
isn't on top in the light.
At St. Cloud a traveler asked at what
times tho little steamers left. "Every
ten minutes," was the answer; "mon
sieur will not have to wait more than a
quarter of an hour."
Washington scene: Deep-voiced guz
zler "Hi, waiter! bring mo three mora
schooners!" Awe-struck spectators,
whispering: "That must be tho new
Secretary of tho Navy."
Ono of our best humorous versifiers
begins a poem thus: " 'I cannot Ni tig to
night, love,' she silently did say." She
must havo broken tho silence all to
pieces when her words dropped. '-
A chap who sent us a poem beginning
"When twilight dews aro falling fiwt
upon the rosy lea," hits sineo married
Ron:i Lee, and now the weekly dues aro
falling faster upon him.
Tho clergymen of Lampasas supply
the prisoners in jail with manuscript
sermons to road during their leisure
hours. The way of the transgressor is
hard, very hard.
The editor who was asked bv a "bash
ful subscriber" if he could toll him "the
first step toward matrimony" and replied
"mis-sten," was either a punster or a
horrid old bachelor.
To an enthusiastic Bngler who plead
ed for just one moro bite at a fishing
party of which Krauf was tired, the lat
ter said, "But we must draw tho lino
A bald-headed professor reproving a
youth for the exercise of his fists: "We
light with our heads at this college."
The youth reflected a moment and then
replied: "Ah, I see, and you have butted
all your hair off."
A fashion item says that "Titian rod
hair is to be the favorite shado during
this season." It differs from the poll-tP
tian red. One is worn on tho nose and
the other on the head. Dut how a black
haired damsel is goinc to dve hor treiav
M red, U what puzzles us,
A noted physician says many persons,
simply by deep and rapid inhalations of
pure air, can become as intoxicated on
oxygen as if they had taken a draught
of alcoholio stimulants. Here is a point
for the man who has been walking rap
idly homo from tho club In the night
"When I came to town," said a rich
b.-oker, "I hadn't a penny of my own."
"And have you now, sir?" asked a quiet
faced man in the far corner of theroom.
The broker didn't answer tho question.
Perhaps lie didn't hear it. Possibly it
was a pain in the stomach that drew his
face down so suddenly.
Under the laws of the pilgrim fathers
a man could not kiss his wife on Sun
day, and after a somewhat critical ex
amination of portraits of wives of those
days, we think the laws were eminently
just, if not. in tho main lenient. The
pilgrim fathers should have been fined
for kissing such homely wives, any day
of tho week.
Musical definition: A diminished chord
tho cord of "wood as sold by the un
scrupulous coal-dealer. A cross relation
the average mother-in-law. A de
ceptive cadence when tho cats keep
quiet after you have thrown the boot
iaek, only to resume again after you
have closed the window. Oblique move
ment home from "the lodge.
Somewhat mixed: A gentleman who
had spent half the winter at Washington
endeavoring to get a private bill through
congress, returned to tho bosom of his
family a sadder and a wiser man. Short
ly after his arrival he was met by a
friend, who greeted him warmly with:
"(Had to see you back again, llow about
your bill?" "Bill bill?" said the dis
appointed solicitor, confusedly, with a
dim recollection of an encounter with
the hotel-keeper, "I left it unpaid."
Said Oeorgo Eliot: "Childhood has no
forebodings; butthen it is soothed by no
memories of outlived sorrow." You see,
Oeorgo never had any children, and
didn't know. Where s tho boy of 10
who hasn't tho memory of outliving tho
sorrow caused by the old man's trunk
strap, when he put a wet snonge in the
old man's boot that squirted water clear
up the old man's leg? And hasn't the
boy forebodings when ho thinks the old
man suspects him of putting tar on his
Tho other day a pompous little fellow
at a dinner table was boasting of the
great men with whom ho was on inti
mato terms. He was inconstant corres
pondence with Longfellow, had lunched
with Tennyson, was in friendly relations
with the Prince of Wales, and, in short,
knew everything and everybody. At
length a quiet individual at tho farther
end of tho room broke in on the conver
sation with the question: "My dear sir,
did you happen to know tho Siamese
twins when they were in this country?"
Our hero, who evidently had a talent for
lying.bnt no real genius, at once replied:
"The Siamese twins, sir? Yes, sir, I
became very intimate with one uj them,
but I never had the good fortune to meet
The oilier morning, says the San Fran
cisco Cull, a Chinaman made an exhibi
tion on Montgomery street, near Pine,
which somewhat surprised tho passers
by. The Chinaman was going alongtho
sidewalk, minding his own business,
when a Western Lnion Telegraph boy
threw a piece of orange at him and
strui-k him on the bead. Hottirncdand
chased the boy, who ran. At this point
a young man of twenty or twenty-one
years stepped up and said to tho China
man, "Let that boy alone!" He received
in reply a blow from the shoulder that
cut his upper lip and made the blood
fly. Tho blow seemed to stun him at
first, but he rallied and attempted tore
turn the compliment. The Chinaman,
however, "put up his props" in truo
pugilistic style and looked decidedly tho
better man of tho two for a moment.
However, another member of our super
ior race came up and struck the China
man, and his first adversary became
bolder and got in a blow. It was now
two to one, witli a prospect of being at
any instant six to one, and the China
man hastily retreated.
Tho Southern Pacific railroad builders
have sunk an artesian well to tho depth
of seven hundred feet in tho neighbor
hood of Fort Quitman and found astream
of flowing water. At Van Homo, on tho
Texas and Pacific, another artesian well
has been dug and water found at the
depth of livo hundred foot.
Mrs. Ira Mulholland, Albany, N. Y.,
writes: "For several years I have su tiered
from oft-recurring bilious headaches, dys
pepsia and complaints peculiar to my sex.
Sinco using your Burdock Blood Bitters I
am entirely relieved." Price $1.00. P.O.
Not For a Fortune.
"Phew" I wouldn't marry her if sho'd a
fortune. Poor girl, she'd bo all right if
shotook Spring Blossom, the beat thing in
the world for olleusive breath. Price 50
cents, trial bottles 10 cents. Taul O.
Void of Offense.
Tho breath becomes "void of offense,"
when contaminuted with decaying or im
pure teeth if Sozodout, tho national beau ti
ller of badly furnished mouths Is used sys
tematically. It institutes s speedy reform
of those conditions favorable to dental de
cay, such as tho corrosive action oi acid
impurities fermenting upon tbo coronal
surface, the destruction of tho enamel by
tartar and tliu injurious influenco of tobac
co. Polish daily and after meals, if possi
ble. The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich,
will send Dr. Dys Celebrated Electro-Voltaic
Belts and Electric Appliances on trial
for thirty days to men (young or old) who
are afflicted with Nervous Debility, Lost
Vitality and Manhood, and kindred troubles,
guaranteeing speedy and complete restora
tion of health and manly vigor. Address'
aa abovo. N. B.No risk is incurrod, as
thirty days' trial is allowed.