Newspaper Page Text
THE OAILY CAIRO BULLETIN; SUNDAY MORNTNU, DECEMBER 10, 1882.
I rrnriNGTO hold down
4 tftVftARL BAKING POWDER!
h 7 i'TMiouwoTO Risr
PURE CREAM TARTAR.
If alum or any injurious siitistuiict-a can bo found
In Andrews' Vparl Baking Powder. Is r"
tively PUKE. I'-citm i'iitnrel, titnl ttvtlmoiituls
received lrum t in h chemists asS. Pmialliiys.Iios
ton; M. 'oliil'ouUtir.p, of Chicago; and Uustavus
Bole, Milwaukee. Never s"M in bulk.
C. E. ANDREWS A. CO.
5 M icuituu. A v. 2ST. a & 2!) 1 K. W attf
Evory Corset la VfiuTiiuti u satis
factory to its wnrer iiirveiy vhv,
or the money will ha reiunlnl I v
the person from whem it va botuilit.
ThnnnlvCotNot pmnniir.wl I'V our tpiulin; i-t'v.H.ins
not Injurious t the run'!', awl li'l"t i I'V l..i!u
tlw " m nt uunfonalita aii'l V rl"'t lltui'K I il':vt evur
rKirEs,.y Mull, intuitu ViiiJi
Health PrnrrTlne. !.&. Hilf. A.lii-llii. !.&
Abdomlnnl (f xtra brnv) ) 2.l0. irln. tU.GO
llraltk Prcm-rvlMB- (fine rn.itlll S.OO. t'utuuiiu
SLIrtSuniortlini. I. '.
Fur Mile I'T limllna l"iili'r crrrrwnerr.
CHICAGO COKstf CO.. t Iucuko, III.
Retnemhe' that stamina, vital ciicrj.'y. the llf'i
prlncipa' or whatever yon may ch'iose ti call (lie
POlHtfii:t power vlilcli battles a trail) ( till! causes
of dlsea-es and death, is Urn erai d van guard of
health It Is the Harrison of Ihu tinman fortress,
and when It waxes wen. I hi! true policy l to thru w
in reinlorcciiu'iit. In oilier words, when such an
emerireniv occurs, rnniminoe aeonrse of I ok tt
tcr's Hitlers. Kor m'r ny drtu'trl-ts ami dealer, to
whom Rh lor Hosteller's Almanac for IsHI
Insert vl h Hill flntrer
11 nutirle hi' the Halm
it'lo the no-trlis; draw
"truiii! lir'-olli Ih'Miitb
Hie no,-. It will lie
I I.Y'st l! ' All IU1.M
iT: 1 'flui'lnalh' rl. 'tif co tlio
W i'J f I liaral I H-flllLTH of t'
I y t I 'arrhal virun, caunlniz
V A0 I lll'altl y fe(T' tlllllH, III
1 I lio Itillnmaliiili, pro
rSY Jiiit the metnt.rnio
'r."n adilitiiiiial coldn.
J coin ill f'ty Ii'hIh the
HAY"rhVER f lH.i.. ami
" cme 1 Hntellctnl r
ulti arc retilir.cil tiy a few : p t lent 1 otm . thor
otU'b irent.iient ai .llnrttJ will cure (. a nr.ti, liav
Kevt r, Ac.
Aerpi'itlile lo Ie.
i;XF.Qt'ALK! FOR COM) in 111-1IKAI).
The Ha m )ta I'd r.cl au etivUhie repuiat nil wher
rycr known, 'ii- piai-lnif all ntV r 1 reiiarmimiM.
It K 00 S IZ Kl) AS A M)NLl'.lil'(.!l. DICDVnY
Hold hv ilni gel I a ' fileeiitt. (Ml ri"-ijitof
price wl l mail a packnt'i) Send lor circular con
taining full infurma' on Mid rcll' liie teminionlala.
KI.VCHKA.M HAI.M CO., Owi'Bii, N. V.
GQLD MEDAL, rARIB, 1878.
Warruiitdl almolutvly pur
f.'wnn, frum wlil li tlio exoena cf
Oil linn In nn iimvid. Itha thru
(inn tht Aimiyth of ( 01:1111 mixed
with Hliin'h, Arruwrootnr Hugar,
and I thi n fire fir morn ucnnoml
It In drhVluua, nourlnhliiK,
Iri'hKllieuluK, eaully illui'uled, ami
admirably n ) nj t tl f r invnllda aa
well aa for t rnii In le ulth.
Bold I7 (liecrri etnrrnhera.
. BAKERS CO, Dorchester, Mass.
One Dollar! One Dollar!
THE WKKKLV 1'I.AIN
mm 'wit in ii mi iwniiimiiiamm
Clrvltnd, U tl Mor a v ar'a anhiirrtmliin a
Ittudlae Dumocrutlp Jour kI and vnltiahle Family
KfWtptpor. Henda liDLI.H lor llin liwt paunr
to l.h went for the trli a. I'kiu Di aler I ' 11 h 1 1 n ti In c
vu.i viu'eiana, vuiu. Dani ie co,ir 11 ".
Will I H
LOVE THAT SEEMED IIOPELESS.
"My dear uncle, I nm dcliRlitwl to bo
nt litniio a?ain. W'lnt K)lcii(litl ensy
tinti's we slmll liftve. ami what (liuncrsl
T'nclc I will ti'll you under the rose
it don't jmy to iro Hhroad; hut lunm in
tlio word, tliouuh, for it is fnshionnhle,
you know. Hut on my honor as n Tre
vnnion, I v.as almost iioiRmed on frogs
and thinirs. I met iho hpiplitons and
K.stcrlii'onktt, 11ml all the liist families
jn l'aris. lmt. like myself, they were
'doing' it for the fame of the thing.
Tom TievH'iioii Kit in his uncle's
studv. with his I'ci t on tlio mantel, and
a costly meerschaum in his mouth from
whence issued a delicious perfume, for
Tom wan a connoisseur in the weed.
"Hand me that dressing-gown, old
liov. and I will make a regular ninht of
it. and forget Paris and Jniise Villiers."
"Old hoy. indeed! Tom, yon have
grown disrespectful since you left home,
detyour dressing-gown yourself, sir!"
"Forgive, inc. Undo Hal; I ain just
wild with gladness at being home again
and niistouk you for romp."
"Von are an insolent young dog.
"Who is Louise, Villiers, pray?"
"A charming French girl, uncle. I
thought of making her my wife, only
women are so troublesome, tagging
round after a fellow all the time. 'lint.
micl", she is divine; there is nothing in
England to match her."
' "Humph!" I'ncle Hal's favorite
word "there has been an addition lo
our family since you left. 1 did not
mention it in m'y letters, because 1
thought it best yo'i should finish your
travels. Ilavdii Vaughn, my old col
lege friend, died in India anil left his
child in toy care. She has been here a
"The deuce she has! What sort of a
girl is she pretly?"
VThe girl is without friends. I pitied
her loneliness, and I in fact, we are
to he married in the spring."
"Married in the spring?"
"Torn, von must not speak so loud. I
thought 1 heard someone at the door
awhile ago, when you were talking of
women being troublesome, l'ray be
A rich voice humming snatches of
song, and the click of a solitary boot
heel along the hall, and Tom pricked up
"W hat is that, uncle? It sounds like
a lame opera-singer."
"Humph! I'll risk my life on tlie lame
ness. It is Miss Vaughn."
The door opened with a bang, and a
black-haired, crimson-lipped, saucy
looking girl entered, carrying her gaiter-hoot
in one hand and a tack-hammer
in the other.
"(iuardy. you are heathenish! Here
I've been limping up that long stair
case with nothing on my foot but a silk
stocking. There is n peg in my shoe,
and my heel is bruised to a jelly with
it. 1 tried to poke it out with this taek
hanimer, but it w ill not move."
No more notice of Tom than if he had
been a piece of furniture.
"If that is your game, my dear, I ain
with you," was Tom's thought as he no
ticed her utter indifference.
Ho settled his boots more firmly and
pufiV'i ivny at his pipe.
A lew desperate pokes, and the re
fractory peg was out.
"Where are vou going through this
rain. May?" asked her guardian.
"To get some candy. This is real
candy weather, guardy."
"Hut, my dear May, I wouldn't go out
in such a storm."
She seated herself on a low chair, and
coolly putting on her boot, began lacing
it up before Tom's very eyes. Then
she looped up her dress through an elas
tic, exposing a red balmoral and a
dainty ankle, mid tying n crimson hood
under her chin, turned to the door.
"(iood-bye, guardy; good-bve, Mr.
Tom laughed uproariously, while Mr.
"Why, bless my soul, boy, I forgot to
present you to May."
"Never mind about it now, uncle, but
don't forget it at dinner."
Tom took unusual pains with bis toi
let that night, and he was a very hand
some man. His thick, glossy, brown
hair, and long heavy beard, were sub
jected to a merciless brushing; and a
magnillcent black neck-tie embroidered
with while silk was arranged us killing
ly as possible. May. in a crimson men
no, and her shining black hair arranged
in a knot at the back of her head, was
superb and indifferent. Around the
fair throat was a tiny collar of the soft
est lace fastened by a diamond star.
"May, this Is my nephew, Tom Tre
vanion. .Miss Vaughn, Tom."
May inclined her stately bead, while
the handsome Tom bowed before her."
"I am glad to find such a valuable ad
dition to my uncle's family, I had
feared this house would be lonely. "
"It relieves my mind to know that
you arp pleased. I believe some young
men find women troublesome ' in a
"Confound the girl, she is laughing
at me. 1 believe she heard what 1 said
about Louise Villiers. I wish she was
not so confoundedly handsome, how
ever." As time passed on, Tom found him
self very faint nhout the region of the
heart. If May was superb at ninht in
a crimson merino, sue was divine m a
rose-colored wrapper In the morning.
Tom forgot about Hie French and fell
madly in love with his uncle's promised
bride that is how it was.
He wisely kept his secret hid, though,
for the wiclccd black eyes had a way of
hurling lightning glances at him that
"If she only cared n speck for a fel
low. I'd I'd Hut no; that would
be dishonor. Hravo old I'ncle Hal, I
would not step between you and happi
ness if I could."
As the weeks wore on, Tom saw plain
ly that May did not love his uncle,
though she did not know it vet herself.
She had never known any oilier love but
that she had borne her father, ami
when Mr. Trevanion asked her to be
his wife. she. feeling lonely and deso
late, gave him her promise, knowing
nothing of that other self who, nome
wheii) in the length and breadth of the
laud, was waiting for her.
It had been a dismal day. A kind of
dri.zling rain had fallen all day, and a
dirge like wind was keeping It coiu
tmny. For once Ml Vaughn was sad.
but if she had thought anyone noticed
it, the red mouth would have smiled de
nial. She had been silent all the al ter
noonaud Tom thought ho once saw
her hps quiver. Ho crossed over to
where she was sitting, hoping her sad
mood would make her more conical able.
" What dismal weal her it is, May. It
gives me the heartacht."
"What Is that?"
Voice and eye were unwavering, but
Tom could have sworn bo Haw her Up
tremble as she spoke.
"If you don't know I shall not en
Tom wan exasperated. He also
thought she had no heart. May looked
out of the window, and by-and-bye Bho
Bignen a nttie. This time ne saw tnu
proud lip quiver. Tom was a noble
liearted fellow, and bo pitied the lonely
girl pitied the proud young heart, that,
ache as it nilRht. would never let it bo
known, lie had watched her closely,
and knew that underneath her elfin
ways a warm, passionate heart was
One night he saw by her eyes f!he had
been weeiung. and ns he stood by her
sine lie i.uu uis nailil
on her shining
It was a manly face, stronir and true.
"May, you have been weeping; it
grieves me to seo it." Eves and voice
were full of tenderness, but she would
not see it. "I am going out, May; cau
I do anything for you?"
The voice had still that indescribable
tenderness that deep feeling always
"Ves; if you pass where thev are sold,
bring me some ginger-snaps.0
lie sprang to his tu t, and a muttered
imprecation burst from his lips.
Fulling his hat down over his eyes as
ho passed into the street, he strode
lie met a few boon companions, but
his plnomv brow gave no encouragement
for them to tarry.
'What's to pav now?" said Xcd Ster
ling to his friend Lennox. "Trevanion
looks as herce as a Hengal tiger."
"(jot in debt, I reckon. Come, Ned,
let's go to a play."
loo r Tom knew to his cost what was
to pay. The insipid little Farisiun was
She had been cast into the shade, by
this fascinating May Vaughn, and
Tom's thoughts were something after
"I love this brilliant Mny, and she
loves me. She may school lip and eye,
but I can read both. She is unhappy;
there was anguish in her eye when sfie
spoke of those a bominable ginger-snaps.
I saw it brooding dumbly through all
her acting. That girl is wretched; she
does not love my uncle; she cannot, and
yet there is but one short month be
tween this and her wedding-day. Oil,
woman, woman! man's blessing and his
curse! I shall leave here to-morrow; it
is all that 1 can do."
He returned from bis mad walk silent
His uncle sat reading the paper, and
May. without a vestige of color m check
and lip. sat with her dainty little fiyt
on the fender, and the last magazine
in her bund. She did not look round as
Tom closed the door, though she knew
"Fluted trimming is still worn,
guardy. I think I shall have my new
dress trimmed so. Ah. Tom. ave you
back? Where are the ginger-snaps?"
Tom hastily left the room with never
one word of answer.
"Tom is getting to be an insufferable
puppy, with his moody brow and tragic
"An in su fferable puppy," echoed May,
but her lip trembled.
Mr. Trevanion laid down his paper
and went over to where May was sitting
with her eves fixed on the lire.
lie laid his hand on the bowed head,
but she sprang to her feet, the small
hand by her side now clenched fiercely.
"What is the matter, I say?"
"My headaches, sir. If you will ex
cuse me i will go to my room."
She flew up the broad staircase, and
her white face was a perfect revelation.
Tom, pacing up and down the study
floor, saw it as she passed, and shivered.
Reaching her room, she flung herself
tace downward on the floor. She neith
er fainted nor wept; she did not even
moan; if she had unclosed the firm-set
lips for an instant she would have
screamed. Iter dumb anguish wa3 a
thousand tunes worse tiian teais.
bho had promised to bo .Mr. Tre
vauion's wile through gratitude, be
cause she was lonely and desolate, as he
had said, and knew not till too late that
life would bring any other love.
That she had learned to love this
handsome Tom Trevanion was a fixed
fact. How or when the love cr nt into
her heart she could not have told; but
she knew to her sorrow that it was
there. Sin: bad tried to put it away
fr. 'i.i her. to forget the tender face; but
Bhe found her o n heart a rebel, and all
she i n Id do was to keep the sad secret
from Tom uid his uncle. She avoided
the slndy...now. so thev met only at
meals. 1 "
She went ihuvn one night in the t'vi
light to the almost unused library. The
street lamps were lighting, and she
stood with her face oressnl ngnint the
window-pane, watching the lamplight
er as he went his rounds.
It was a wan face, and Tom coming
up softly behind her. looked upon it,
and longed to uaiher it to his bn al .
"Oh. if it was any one but brave ! I
Uncle Hal that loved Lor, I would-hut
this is dishonor,"
The closed eyes saw nothing but a
beait-pietuio she was looking at, so
Tom could gaze his till at the sad face.
The tired eyes suddenly unclosed, and
she looked up to see the tender face
bending over her with an expression
she could not misunderstand.
There was perfect silence for many
minutes. Tom stood with folded arm's
and tight shut lips. What could he say
that would not bo dishonor?
May t lien made a movement as though
she were going to leave the room.
"May, i am going away to-morrow. I
leave on Monday for l'aris."
She trembled so that he put bis arm
round her, and then, as though unable
to resist it, he drew the beautiful head
to his breast. She just let it stay, for
she knew it was the last time; that
dreary last time.
"My darling! mine in this sad hour,
if never, never again. I love you. May,
most deeply, and I am leaving you lie
cause of that love. I ought not to have
told you this, but vou know it. and it
Rcems some consolation to put it into
worda. It would he dishonor In mo to
try to win you from kind I'ncle Hal,
and dishonor in you to be so won, lor
ho has set his heart on you, May. Wo
must part, though it rend our hearts in
twain, and now. for 1 bear my uncle's
voice, audi have no further strength
Ho led her to a chair, arid pressing
a kiss upon hrr pale lips, Mastered al
most blindly from the room, it was a
fearful storm of feeling, requiring all
his hce for bis uncle to prevent him
from rushing back and claiming May.
That he had no right to do so he knew,
save by the passionate love he bore her.
Two hours later hPcntiTr'd bin uncle's
study. Tim old man sat smoking with
"(jet your pipe, Tom, and let us havo
a good, cozy time."
"I cannot, uncle; I am not, well to
night. I'ncle llalbett, I start for l'aris
on Monday, and I have come to say
good-bye to night. I must go to Dover
"Is the boy mad? What in the name
of coniinon-seiisp would take you oil
again? Why, Tom, you are ill. What
is it. boy? '
"No matter, uncle,"
"Tom, I'm the only father you have
pver known. I command v'ou. by a
father's right, to tell m what this
irvon In ri0,(i mv jj0yu
If so. speak; if it is a thousand pounils
I will pay it; anything, rather than
have you lpave me."
"Uncle, don't press me; just let me
go quietly. I give you my word, which
never was broken, that it is nothing of
debt or difliculty of that kind. It is
only a private matter of my own."
" 1 must know it, Tom."
"i 'ncle, it will grieve you."
"No matter, boy." The old man rose
and put Ids band affectionately on the
young man's shoulder. "Come, boy,
out with it."
"Uncle, I love May Vaughn. It is be
cause of her I am going nway. It is all
I can do. I fought against it, uncle;
but, Cod help me, my love was stronger
than my will."
"Does May love you?"
"I never asked her, uncle."
"Sit down here a minute, Tom, while
I go to my room. You must have funds
to travel with, you know."
Torn folded his arms upon the table
and laid ids head upon them.
VThe worst is over now," he said. "I
have told my uncle all, and parted with
Mr. Trevanion went straight to May's
room and knocked softly.
"May. I want to sneak to you just one
moment, my child."
She came to the door, surprised at
this unusual proceeding, but too wretch
ed to care much.
"May, would you just as soon marry
Tom as your guardian?"
It was a startling question. May
would have 1 alien had not Mr. Tre
vanion caught her in his arms.
"Vou see, May, the foolish fellow has
fallen in love with you, and as he is too
honorable to try to 'steal you awav from
me. he is determined to be off to France
ngain. Tom is my only sister's child,
and if you could love him. May "
The old saucy look came back to
May's f vcs.
"1 will try, sir."
"Then come with me."
lie led her along the hall, and enter
ing the study, said:
"Here, Tom. I'll forego my claim if
you can make it all right with May. I
could not see you go, my boy."
He closed the door, and with a raro
delicacy left the lovers Alone.
Over that interview we will draw a
Hv mutual consent the knowledge of
their mutual love was kept from Undo
Halbert. and be thinks to this day that
May married Tom to please him.
May ami Tom have been married five,
happy years. May is little like the May
of this story save in form and feature.
She is gentle and quiet, and has given
over all her mad moods, subdued by thu
power of love, and Tom likes her 'best
so. Sometimes, when in the fulness of
her young life, she would flash out into
some of the ol.f gay moods, Tom would
put his arm tenderly around her and
"Don't, May, my darling. I love you
best in your new mood. The saucy, de
fiant May Vaughn has passed awav, and
in her stead I bold to my heart my lov
ing, tender May Trevanion."
The rage for physical development
among young women is increasing.
Classes are forming in gymnasiums
where young ladies and girls arc taught,
and also small clubs which receive, in
struction in private houses. One of
the latest phases of this muni; is an in
satiable desire od the part of many
young ladies lo learn fencing. It has
become a fashionable accomplishment
in Europe, which is quite, enough to
make girls here ambitious to acquire it.
Last year there were only a few classes,
and they wero small. This year there
will be scores of young women poking
swords at each other. One of the best
known gymnasiums in the city is
within a stone's throw of the Windsor
The young ladies who go there for
instruction and practice have little re
tiring rooms, similar to bath houses.
When they emerge they havo a cos
tume consisting of basque or jacket and
trousers. The agility, grace and skill
they show at the various exercises is
astonishing. They are quicker to learn
than boys, lam told, and much more
graceful at everything they undertake.
At first they are made to make certain
movements with their lingers, hands
and arms. Then they are taught to
swing dumb bells and clubs, keeping
lime to music. As the average young
lady docs not straighten out her arms
properly when in the first stages of her
training, the wooden dumb bells have
little brass bells on them that jingle
when the ruovemeuts are made with
One of the exercises they are put
through is that of marching, with
slicks for guns. They like this very
much, and carry their heads with a
jaunty air. What young chap is there
that would not pay a good fee at the
door to see them going through evolu
tions? But the Professor rigorously
excludes spectators. The advanced
classes are required to practice on tffe
horizontal bar. Beginners at this ex
ercise have great difficulty in swinging
their feet over, but some of the perse
vering ones go through a great variety
of movements with 'the grace of an
acrobat. Swinging in riugs suspended
on long ropes is a favorite exercise.
In one corner of the room there are
several poles in an upright position,
and others inclining at an angle. It is
almost incredible, but nevertheless a
fact, that young" women will spend
hours climbing those poles. The most
popular exercise is that of mounting
and vaulting over a wooden horse.
They make a rush at this and spring
into a wooden saddle, and after much
practice they go over almost without
touching. The privato classes usuaJly
meet in a garret so many times a week
for lessons and practice When a young
lady who has the physical develop
ment craze is detained at home by a
rainy clay, sho goes up to the garret and
develops her muscle-. Xew York Idler
to Washington Star.
When spelling is "reformed," she'll
"I'm milllnirot) theoahun,
'I'he an la hi, tin rnlt In alto,
. It II I iii mo with rtiuihhun,"
Hut nun opt-l I win not chit n;m Its name,
For alin'll bu aeu.tli k Junt tlio ritiul
One of the curious industries of New
York City is gathering the stale bread
from largo hotels and restaurants and
grinding it up into food for poultry
and nigs. 'lh0 Astor house soils its
stale bread for $800 annually. The con
tractor has 1,000,000 invested in the
business aud keeps nine teams steady 8l
An Enthusiast on Onions.
I know this: An onion is tho most
villified and worst traduced esculent
there is, and yet It is ouo of the most
delicious to Homo persons that the earth
produces. There is one thing that it
lacks and that is popularity. I know
men who, if they experience the whiff
of au onion, become so sick that they
are in the deepest imaginable misery
for hours thereaf ter. On the olher hum!
Vheru aro those who are so passionately
fond of onions that they would rather
cat a mess of onions than to sit down to
the finest banquet in the land. (ion. S.
F. Hunt is one of them. (.'Jen. Hunt is
au enthusiast on the subject of onions.
Ho told me once that every time he vis
its the residence of a friend of his who
makes a specialty of raising a particu
larly lino species of onions, ho eats so
many that ho is ashamed of himself.
Many times ho slips off to a restuuraut
and enjoys a feast of his favorite in
several courses. He says that those are
the happiest moments of his life. To
the traveling man thu onion is tho best
friend in tho world. You can't think
of any shape that an onion is not good.
Boiled, stewed, fried, baked, fricasseed,
escolloped, roasted, pickled or raw,
they aro palatable and delicious. Cooked
with potatoes, beefsteak, turkey or duck
they aro exceedingly savory. Just let
a fellow banging around the country,
disgusted with the fare he receives at
out-of-the-way hotels or boarding houses,
eat a raw onion and see how it will
brace him up. If you havo taken too
much tea of an evening, and feel the
worse for your bout the next morning,
manage to get on the nut-ide of an
onion or two, and see how it will help
vou. Onions are excellent cures for
iieavy coliN, sis everybody knows. Then
when a -fellow becomes wakeful, jn.-.t
let him lill up on niee sliced onion '.
(Jracioiis lo goodness, what a comforta
ble di'ow.-inrss will come over him? He
forgets all eaivs and sinks into a regular
old-fashioned, forty-knot snooze that
does him a power of good, 1 tell you.
It has bi fii found by experiment that
a crevice under a door large eiiuiiL'h lo
push a penny through will let enough
cold air into a room to ivqui:e font
hundred extra pounds of cul pi-i
wit and Humor.
How is it those schools of philosophy
never turn out a philosopher?
Cincinnati brewers won't drink each
other's beer on the ground of health.
"I dess I know what memory is"
said a little four-year-old. "It's tho
ting I fortlet wid."
One of human nature's oddities Tho
girl with the biggest feet alw ays wants
to play Cinderella.
Boston is a town with ends to it in
stead of sides. That's one reason why
sho can never square herself.
A New England paragrapher has dis
covered that a dog's lungs is the seat
of its pants.
Some men aro bom slight, some
achieve slightness, but most men have
slights put upon them.
Mince pio is not only the nwjst healthy
of any sort, but you may eat six of 'em
for supper and have no had dreams.
An engaged girl is happiest when sho
is telling about it to another girl who is
not engaged and is not likely to bo.
A mule is not generally considered an
(esthete; but givo his hind quarters half
a show and he is big on art decorating.
"When will this car go?" asked a
gentleman, the other evening. "As
soon as it has a cargo," wm the prompt
I he reason why Fume of the street
lamps burn all night is because the
light is so small it is afraid to go out
alone in tho dark.
"Every cloud has a silver lining,"
said a despondent diner, as ho saw tho
dusky waiters pocket the quarters of
The earth is said to have two motions,
but to a drunken man coming homo at
11 o'clock at night it doubtless has
more than 200.
Seventeen thousand names were ad
ded to tho pension rolls this last year.
It is never too late to find out that you
Forney's Progress claims that billiard
balls can be made of potatoes. Perhaps
they can, hut. what's the use of wasting
Cairo, 111., is the place where an Eng
lish sparrow carried a lighted cigar stub
to its nest under the eaves and burned
up the house. Sparrows haven't the
right sort of mouth to smoke cigars.
"Well tniidanie, how's vour husband
to-day?" "Why, doctor, lie's no bet
ter." "Did you get the leeches?"
"Yes, but he only took throe of them
raw I had to fry'the rest."
Young housewife: "What, miserable
little eggs again! You must really tell
them. .lane, to let the hens sit' on them
a little longer, or we must change our
When yon see it stated that a man is
"eminently respectable," you can make
up your mind that he is a chap worth
over $1,000,000. Anywhere tinder that
figure is simply "esteemed citizen."
"How dreary lifo would bo without
hope," observes a Cleveland paper.
Yes, and when you gel the list and find
that your ticket didn't hit how mad you
They wore discussing an elopement,
and one lady, turning to her friend,
Bald: "Don't you believe it, would kill
you if your husband were to run nway
with another woman !'" "it might," was
the cool reply. "(Jreat joy sometimes
A New England physician says that
if every family would keep a box of
mustard in the house three-fifths of the
doctors would starve. No instructions
as to whether it should bo kept in the
pantry or down cellar.
A negro was observed tho other thy
mailing an unstamped letter at the post
olllco in a country town in Georgia. Ho
was asked what ho meant by mailing
unpaid letters. "Oh," replied the ne
gro, "I does thatiog'lar. "You do?"
"Yesser; w'eu do poslinaslernin't look
in' I draps my letter in; do dat often.
I saves do postage', jer sie. I jes write
a letter, don't put no stamp onto it, and
slips hero and lets her diap. Dat's do
way I send my letters and gets do boat
of the postollico huT ha! takes dis nig
ger to be sharp, it does."
Chills and Fever,
Hlmmnna I.Ivor Itegn
lulnr Minn tireaka tna
chilla and carrlea tiia
fever out nl tlinayatem.
hcurea when all other
V r iho relief Mid cura
of thin dintrimnlnif dla
cane line Sirmnoua Lif
Th Kecnlator will piialilTly cure this twrlhlu
(lineaau. Wo axaerl unulititlcally what we know to
nhoulil not he regarded ua u trilling allmuut. N.
Hire (leimindH thu turnout rciiiilai It of tlio botvela.
Therefore Billet nature l.y tuklliK rlimmona Liver
KuKUlator. It la Imrmknn, mild and tftecluul.
Ono or two talilriooriftiia will relieve all the
trouble incident to a Milium male, mch aa Naurea
DiZKliie, Drow kIirkh, InclTcre alter eating, a bit
ter bad lantu in the mouth.
I'eraoin may avoid all uitieU by occasionally
laklnx a done of sliumona Liver iiennlatur to keep
the liver In healthy actiou.
liA D J3UHATII!
generally arUini! fr mi a d.hordi ri d stomach, can
he corrected by tnkinx simiuoiia Liver lici;iilutur.
Slmmona Liver Kei;ulat raoou erauiuatea thli dli
eaite from die cttni, leaving the I'll In clear and
lrue Irum all lmourittea
Children lufleflrir wnh colic conn experience re
lief when Simmon Liver Iti u.Mtur ia administer
ed. Adtiltealso derive jrn-a! bi in-lit from thtii
medicine. It in tot ui.iilefnnl ; It is huriniesi
and ell'tctlvii. I'uiely v,' lahlu
MijSt nf i he diceau'd ot the bladder originate from
tboai! of ine kldntys. lienore ttiu union of the
liver fully and both the kidueye and bladder will
rTake only the gen nine, which always baa on
tue wrapper the red L trade murk ami rinaturn ol
Kor side by ail dmu'iisli.
Manufacturer and Dealer in
fitli Str- e., between t'om'l Ave. and Levee.
(,'AIKO, I hLlNOlH;
CHOKE llOKINO A SPECIALTY,
ALL KINilS OP AM INITIOS,
f afei Koiaircd. All Kind ol K"ya Made.
(LOUP GRAIN AND k
Egyptian Flouring 3!il!s
Iligheht Cash f'rife i-ViJ for Wheat.
K Dr.. KLINL'B GRtAT
C"..i tl . OVER E8TO R E R
SctgDisa'. om.v Ki . , . (,.', Nm Arrac
o.).vl I. mi m-y.ii IM Al l Mil k' H Uki.n
s. trial ifltie fr'' li t it t &'i,t !v I'Ariiifr i ipr,,s
hanr, "n t.x,wr,f n rtviMTiMl. s-urt nnn.,, r H and
,)irT'., ,.r.-M of ffliotf,! ti, Ok kl.l.Sr . '.'11 Arch
i.SU.PblllxU.r ,V r;ul. Arv.ir-ul t'ntuM
TO CAM) COliLKn'ORv
" THE FROLIC OF THE FROGS."
Six original d si.'.- s, just out. ery firny, l!l be
sect to any address on receipt of 6 rents lu 'nuip.
J. I". I-ARK1N Kl, Ilnn.lo.N ,
SOLB MANLKACTt'KKKS i K
"f L1TK." a I'ttre Olive Oil Toilet Suyi
FORT GRAPE WINE
Spkeu's Pout GA1'K "Wine '
FOUR YEARS OLD.
rpitIS (' KLKIIKATKI) N ATI V K WINK In made
1 front tliejulee of tlio Onorlii drape, rained In
thW country. Its Invaluable tonic anil ntrinclh
pnlim properties are tiuKurpaiitcd hv any other
Native Wine. IMnir iho pure Julio of thi drape,
nrnrtiiceil tinder Mr. Sneer's own nersnnal autiervl
alon, lie purity and kimiuiw nesa, aro Kimrnnleed.
Thi vouneat clilld may partake of Its trineroue
qualities, and the wtmlnt Invalid use It In advan
tage It Is particularly benclh lul to the ned and
debilitated, and suited lo tho various ailments that
affect tho weaker aes. It Is In every reaped A
WINK TO UK HUM Ell ON.
Sneer's P. J. Sherry,
The IV J. NHKRK.V lea wino or Superior Char
acter and i, art likes of tho rich qualities of tho Krape
from which It, la mnilo For Purity, Ulehness, Kla
voi and Medicinal Properties, It will bo found un
excelled. Sneer's P. J. Brandy.
This II HANDY stands nnrlvatod In this Country
holimrar superior for medicinal purnosei. It, Is a
pure distillation Irom the uriipo. and contain1 val
uable, morllclnal properties. H has a ilellealu lift,
vor, slnnlnrto that of Iho (jriip-s, from which It In
dlBttlled, and is In ureal favir amonir first-class
families. Sno that tbo almuitiire or ALKRKD
Hl'KKK, Pa-sale, N. J Isorcr tho cork of each
Bold My PAUL, SOHUH
AND BT DRUGGISTS KVEUYCVfliCRK.
U 'Ul'-i '- '-i i, '. Vi;'',?1 ' , l