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TKM3 OP SUBSCRlPrrnv.
i lv, on mniitt " ' l0nn
SL'. Month."" - , op
"Clubs or five or more tor Weekly Bulletin t
.n t . ; .ii
uua uw , iur ear, 91. DU- I UBia(g iu
IMTARUBLT IX A0T1NCI.
All Commanlcalioua should be addrossed to
E. A. BUKSBTT.
Publisher and Prourietor.
IXINOIS CENTRAL K. R
Shortest and Quickest Route
St. Louis ami Chicago.
The Onlv Line Running
3 DAILY TRAINS
Making Direct Connkction
Iiuint Lull Caiho:
ArrWlLu lo St. Louii 9-tS a.m.; Chicago, 8 :M pn.;
Connecting at Odin and Efllngha n for Cine i
ball, Louiavllle. Indianapolis and points Eat.
11:1 t is.m. Ht. Lioulft and Wutrn
Arriving in ht. Louia7:Ut p. m., atid counectin;
for ail point Wot.
'A -.ftO p.m. Ktst Kjpra.
F .iSl. Louii and t.'hicago, airlviDg at St. Loiu
u:W p.m., and Chicago T"' a.m.
:j:M p.m. Cincinnati Kipreae.
Arriving at Cincinnati T:00 am.; Louisville V
a m.; ludiihapulla 4:06 a.m. Passengers fy
tin train reach the above points 1 ii to 3i
Bul'ltS In advance ot any other route.
Hmriavr i . wtthi 'it
M.hEPING CAK Cairo to Cincinnati, with
rhniri. and tlronch mvt to ht Loa.f at
Fast Time I-ast.
pftoD.,n,.tf by this line gothrongh toHi't
XtthSeilJ;"! em pointa wlthoct ny de
canted by Sunday Intervening. The Saturday afl ;r
aoon train from Cairo arrive In new Vo'k Mont y
nornlug at Tb;rty-ix bourn In advanced
t other route.
9TYot through ticket and further information,
il'PlTat IiliBoia Central Railroad Depot. Cairo.
J H.JUNES, Timet Agnt.
A. B. HANBO'. On Fast. Agent. Chicago
PltoygsHloXAb c A r;
Q.EOHGE II. LEACH, M.I.
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON.
special attention paid to the Homeopathic treat
ment of nurgiral ditexsra. and Qisea.es of women
uKHCK n Hth itrcet, opposite the Pot
office, Cairo, III
JJH. J- K. STRONG,
129 Curamercial Ave, Cairo, 111.
VAPOB, ELKCTlvO-YAPOH asd MEDICATLD
A lady in attendance.
R. W. C. JOCFLYJ,
OFPICB Sighth Btreet, near Conr- erHa! Avweo
R. E. W. WHITLOCK,
Umn-Vo. 1M Commercial Avenue, hitweea
Ifehtb and Nltith Ntreet
fit. R. IMITH. A. ITH.
Grand Central Store.
TT S5 -
5 R a-lQ
S ltf A o2
3 I'll C '3 c
t hroulo Uhr.
IlllliiiU.. . m
I - J "I i no
4lL ,5'""' Kv a lid
and all OUeune
raiiHCil by De
rangeinent of IJver, Huh tin ii,d Kidneyi.
8THPTOMS OF A DISEASED I.IVKR.
Had llrcath; P.iin in the Mile, iometimes the
piin i ft It under the Shiulder-bladr, inistalcen fur
Khcuniatibin : generul loss of appetite ; Hdwrls
generally costive, Mtlm alternating ith lax;
the head is tioubleil with p.nn, i dull aticl heavy,
with considerable loss of n.emory, accmpani'd
with a painful sensation of leaving undone something
which ought to have Urn dune; a slight, lry iugn
and flushed face is sometimes an attendant, often
misukra fur consurnpt, ,n: the pntirnt i:oniplaina
of weariness and deUiity . n-rrvous, easily startled;
feet cold or burning, soni'.-tunrs a pri, kly sensation '
of the skin exists; spirits are low and ocspondent,
and, although samueii that exercise would be bene
fi.ial, yet oik can hardly summon up fortitude to
try it in fact, distrusts every rerreily. Several
of the above symptoms attend the dic,e. but casea
have occurred when but few of them existed, yet
examination after death has shown the Liver to
have been extensively deranged.
It nliould lie uwd by all MTno, old ad
young, vtlicnevcr any i,f tl tibove
Feiraona Traveling or Living- In Til
healthy IOOHlili,a,Ty t.,k:n a 'lose wasion
ally to keep the Liver in healthy acti' n, will avoid
all Malaria, itlllona atta, k, liiuiness, Nan.
aea, Drowsiness, Depressii n 'f S;ir!ts, etc. It
will invigorate hie a glass of wine, lint in no In
If You havn eaten Hiiything hard ol
digeHtion, or feel heavy after nie.iis, or Hlerp
le.ft at night, take a dc and you will Ije relieved.
Time and Dnctnm' Kill will be aavetl
by alwayn keeping the Regulator
' in the Houe!
For, whatever the ailnient my . a thorougMy
safe purgative, alterative .ml tonic can
never De out of place. I he rcmiy is liarilili na
and doea Dot interfere wit l liiiine8 or
IT IS ITRKLT VKflK.T ABI.K,
And has all the power anil efficacy of Calomel or
Quinine, without any of the injurious after cfteUs.
A (iovernor'a Tentiinotiy.
Simmi-ins Liver Regulator has been in useln my
famiiy for some utile, and I am satisfied it is a
valuable addition to the medical science.
J Gn.i. Siif.KiFK, Governor of Ala.
Hon. Alexander II. Stephen, of Oa..
says; Have dense! snie bcn'.f.t fr m the use oi
Simmons Liver Kcgnlator, at. I Wish to give it a
"The only Thine that never falls to
Relieve." I have used manv remedies f r Dys
pepsia, Liver Affection and liebiiity, b'lt never
nave found anything to benefit me t the extent
Simmons I.ivrr kegulator has. I sent from Min
nesota to Georga f..t n, an 1 w old "tid 'orther for
such a med:r inc. arid would advise ail v. ho are sim
ilarly affected to give it a t ri -1 a-, it -eems the only
tiling that never faits to relive
P. M JsNNtV, Minneapolis, Minn.
Ir. T. W, Laon sas: Kr'rfn actual ex
perience in the use of ,oim i.s I.iver F'Eiiiat-.r in
my practice I have Urn and am satisfied to use
and prescribe it as a purgative medicine.
Jtaf"Take only the (ienuine, which always
has on the Wrapper the reil 7. Trade-Mat k
and Signuture of J. If. Zl II.IN Si ( (I.
KOR SALE HY ALL liRrciilSl S.
Mauufacturcr and Dealer In
6th Stree., between Coru'l Avu. u.id Lt vic.
CaVHiO, I ILLINOIS
CHOKE BORING A SPECIALTY
ALL KINDS OF AMC.MTION.
iafe ReDalred. All Kind ol Keva Mude.
FIOl'RiHAIN AND HAY
Highest Cash Prke Paid for Whftt.
136 and 13S Commer-1 0;r. Tlliv:
( UUIU, AlllliUl.
DRY GOODS and NOTIONS,
a foil line of all the latent, newest colon
and quality, and beat manufacture.
CARPET DKPAKTMEN 1'.
Body BrueeeU, Tspeptrieg, Ii:gtain, Oil
Clotha, Ac,, Jtt.
thine: - and Gents' Furnish!
Thii Department occupies a full floor and
ia complete in all rcxpoctti. Gooda are
guaranteed ot latent stylo and ben ma
terial. Buttoiu Prices aul First class Goods 1
"CITY GUN STORE"
Oldest in the city; established i 1862.
Cnm'l Ave .between 9th and 10th 8ts.
MANUFACTURER DKALER IS ALL KINDS
AmmttnUlou of all docrr p'tnnn always on hand al
flonorsl repairing in all kind of nictM-. Keys
nf all deacrlptinns mado to order, and aatlnfactlnn
warranted. Uivo me a call, and bo convinced for
yourself, at the s go of the "DIG GUN."
JOHN A. KOEHLEK,
Sl-6m Proprietor, Cairo, 111.
ILLINOIS. SAT UK DA V
OSNiKB OF LUXURY,
Our Country the Emporium of the
Odditios of lha Univeriso.
The C'OHtly mid liay..liii XovellieHOf
the .llcliopol jH-TLe Ktrav
asanreii tVblrli Amaze
fN'pw York Cor. St. Iannis It.-pitllif nn.1
In riint of imveltins in devtiiaii'in the
Aiucticans are ad'iiug such Inventive talent
to the iiiKeiuiity of tlw old world that the
country will kooii l tlw (luporiiun of all the
oddities of tint universe. Ju.'-t loik at the
inkstands mado in the shaieof a lotus (lowor;
tho vases of the. style of a liatitihm shell in
olive green and gold, with the pink ractiw
bud ami (lowers gracefully falling over the
top and si ;e; ut the wall pockets tif birch
bark in the natural state with lichens, with
an oriole's nestsnsiendeaj by u brai Jcd looji of
setiwa grass; at the dainty mulllnieres in red,
blue and yellow crackle1 glass for sti(ir; at
the Muck rattan rix-kers tririwne.l with
oilman siit in riblxiii, and the bead rest ot
cnish'stl stravvlji'i-ry jdtish with Japanese)
lettiring iu strawtxTry satin coiiohe l with
filoselle of eorresfK'tiditig color, nnd at a
world of other things that it would take a
small fortune to purrha. I.i-t wintw tliero
was a run on st;inei ghis. This year there
is a den land lor the exquisitely tinbed plalo
gla.ss, such as one encounters in Uie doors of
the Greek chapel at Weiobuden, 1'niH-iiu;
that lovely sK)t where the late Uenrge
Knapp reiited Ix-fore ho took up his fatal
homeward journey. It is a wonder that this
has nut been Inti'iKlticed liefore.
A palatial cottage at lit. Deae. t contains a
reception rnoui with windows on the four
sides. They are furuinlusl by a Veuetiun
(inn, the glass, being of different colors, ad
mit the most delicate hues, bleniiiiif;
perfectly with tuo furniture made by tin;
haine artists; the glass is so coittmctxtl that,
in looking throun the dilt'i-rent v, iuilows, the
mouutnius and Hitter may Ijo seen as tlie.y
ajipear at the several stja-vns, so that winter,
spring and autumn scenery can be loiiknl
upon in all its glory by the summer cottager.
.Soon tli" fashion will be on Fifth avenue. uud
guests may hav the fun of seeing orange,
olive, green, purple, red and blue-tinted
women pass by It is a lovely thing to be
able to look ut a friend one admire", and .see
him or her in all the colors of the ramlxiw.
But for this are we millioiutiis.
There seems to lie no end of costly oddities.
Yo'i now take seats in fashionable dining
rooms on alligator skin.-, usiil in upholstery;
in fashionable boudoirs you encounter tlie
small dressers, with a swinging glass, and the
tables hke unto those U-fore w hich Pompa
dour used to love to make her toilet for Louis
XV. You eat salad off of dishes in the
form of lobtsbers and other crustueeat, and as
for after-dinner coffee cujis, there are as
many colors to choose from as in a bouquet of
flowers. Then gas-lights are put iu the
Moorish designs of hanging lamps or lanterns
of jeweled gla.ss susjieiiiled from delicate
scroll-like bracket); and your cigar stand in
plush rests upon a little spider table, with
the ijtiamtly bowed legs-, with Uie heart'
sliaied top of the Vernis Martin furniture.
Even the government seems to lie going
into the oddity biisinws. The Detroit f.Vi,lHij-chx-k,
wbioh is shortly to 1m pUu-cd iu the
capitol at Waj,hington, whether as a purchaw
r. sji" " , is now on xtulNttnrt ot
a curio shop on Broadway. It is a irm'ive
affair, and is eighteen feet high and eight
feet deep, weighs 5,0"" pounds. The case is
of black walnut, eugraved in designs appro
priate and sytnbrdic of the republic; almve
the main Imdy is a dome ujioti which Wash
ington sits in his chair of st,tu?and reviews at
each hour nil the presidents as they pass along
in order up to the time of F'resident Hayes.
In the four sides are carved niches in which
ligures ate placed representing infancy,
youth, manhood and old age; at the end of
every quarter hour the infant strikes upon
the bell with a tiny hammer w hich be holds
in his band, the tone lieing delicate and
sweet; at the half hour tlte youth strikes
uou his bell which is a trifle h:tih; at the
three-quarters is heard the strntig and reson
ant stroke of manhood, then follows at the
hour the bell of old age which is deep and
The decorations in the Fifth Avenue hotel
have taken an oriental turn. Koine say it
now seems to be mow of a Pomj eiinn palace
than a Yankee hostelry. What with the ivory
tints, lines of gold, dull hued preen plush
panels, w ith gold work in scrolled floral pat
tern and real friezes, und gold ami silver tap
estry, there is enough to amaze an 1 mystify,
but you can imngiue the astonishment of the
Britisher accustomed to demure and poorly
decorated hotels on looking at the clock in a
panel framing of Mexican onyx, with nodding
poppies painted all around it, and at the
chembs swinging on garlands of green leaves
on the panels over the mirrors leading into
To save me I cannot tell what pidizett sil
ver is, but that is the metal in which the
small work of the gas fixtures is worked.
Then peep at the parlor ceiling. As Alice
Athertou would say, "Heviugs, oh Hev
ings!" The central panel, painted by
Yirgilio Tojetti, contains seventeen an
gelic figures, which are pleasingly
grouried and painted, with sky background
with traces of cloud and light branches sway
ing across. Some of the figures are very ten
derly and beautifully painted. The panel is
framed in metal work with mussed (lowers in
gold, silver and copper. A wide outer bor
der is painted on gold with soft, harmonious
tones, and with a circular flower-panel mark
ing the centre at each side, which represents
the artist of the cliK;k panel painting already
mentioned. This room is curtained with
plush of darkest red, with embossed bonier,
and with straight fringed lambrequin dra
jiery decorated with gold and silver embroid
ery. The settees against the wnll are also
upholstered in red phu-h, but with some ilea
of change. The carpel in iu blue and yellow
olive, with border turning to d,p red at
the line of tho wall, just tho place for a re
ception of the next embassy from some other
far oH nation than Coren.
The HI arch Out of an KnrlntinUe.
San Francisco Examiner.)
Over the great Los Angeles earthquake the
communities down south are excessive proud.
They claim that a man nt San Fernando was
actually thrown out of bis bed by the sliock.
That this is untrue can be seen by enising
the following statement:
Editor Please correct the statement, in
daily papers. My husband was tint thrown
out of bed by an earthquake, t threw him
out of ld myself, and I'll do it every time he
comes home intoxicated and lies down at tho
foot of the bed and puts his miiddv hnoU iu
my face. (Signed) Jane Wii.mns.
This takes all the starch out of their fourth
class earthquake in Los Angeles.
Cincinnati Enquirer: A great many re
formers, self-styled such, are merely men
with a maggot in the brain. They have a
sort of mental kink, and that is pru'ty nearly
all they do have.
Gath: Frederick Douglass Is probably thr
first literary man that Maryland has pro- j
THE TRADE IK FLASTEB CASTS.
The 8mU Which Are la Mont Topoiar
leinand...U iier? 3Ut or the Or
der t ome rroni.
New York Sun.
"The trade in plasier cash," said a manu
facturer, ",,,1 , ,w rn(Btty C0IluIK.,i
cheap images, which were carried
around upon a board and ied lied frounU r
to door. Today it is a quite ditT.vent
matter. Home catalogue contain from one
to five hundred figures, many of them U.-ing
taken from the iinest works of sculpture.
You can buy in York to-day gd casts
of almost anv of the carved mast -pieces in
EuroK-an y.M nes. .Yet only a few jeari
ago ti-acitcrs fouiid it dillicult to gel the few
works iicccsMiry f..r cUss instruction."
"Which are tlie most popular tif the larger
workf? Well, for flgure-dra wing the Meilicean
Venus and the I)im oIi1us, or qtioit-lhrower.
In simple busts the Aiiodiie anil t'lytieare
favorites. Masipics of the Jupiter of Phidias
ami of the various heads of gods and god
desses are always in demand. The schools
also buy wagon loads of old plaster feet,
hands anil limbs, or other parts of the human
frame, in all imaginable positions. My list
includes over '!,' casts of all kinds Most
of the ureal antique ligurexor torsos I fiii iiu-h
in line, x:ze, and all school cau alV'ord to
have the .smaller ones.
"The most Kipnlar things in my line for
libraries are iortrait busts. Shakespeare,
Byron aud Burns are ni'jst largely calhsl for,
ami, in antiques, .Ksidiylus, Ai'istijdianes and
Demosthenes, (.'ountry libraries send for
plaster heads of imxleru pi'ts and philoso
phers. The trade in busLs of iii'Hlern states
men has fallen oil' somewhat. My (J rant
molds are by no means overworked just now.
Of recent writers, Dickens sells liest; of mod
ern generals, Napoleon. Debating clubs
run to C'iceros, Websters and Clays, and
medical societies to .Ksculapius and Hipx
crates, but Galen has fallen off badly. For
hallways, busts of the Ca sars nit) in vogue.
Couit try social clulis waut busts of Raphael,
Michael Angelo, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope,
and Dryden. Here is auorderfiyrn a literary
dub whijse seci-taiy wants "four g sl, cele
bratisl, literary busts, lurge sine, at lowest
figures.' And there's au order from a fat
men's club. They want a good cast, not h as
I'i.vi thre feet hih, of the Thive times, for
' i ntie-taMe. Fauns and Bacchusc, also go
well among the social clubs. Political tdtiljs
take to busts of Jefferson of late. Wash--iu,;t
)ti always sells well on horseback or
off anil so does Jackson. The f reruuui clubs
delight in busts of the great musicians.
"The most popular casts among cultivated
men? Well, in busts 1 should fay the Yoim&
Augustus has the call. Among the Venn -a'.
that of Melos is liest liked. We sell a very
large number of these. They bring from
tL.'iO to ft"), a coldir,g to size. Some pxple
'f taste prefer tho Psyche of the Naples mn
M'lim. Jn the way of male Iwuity 1 notice a
fciwit change in taste.. Cul'ivaled fople
Useil to prefer the Apollo to the Alitiuoils.
To-day I st-ll a dozen figures of the lutu-rto
one of the former. The Mercury of John of
Bologna is very popular with almost all
Americans who care for statues. They like
its giace and it action. The Fighting Gladi
ator and Michael Atu-!-.'. Wrestlers also sell
well nowadays. I have sold more of them
in the past two years than iu the previous
bn years. Of late I have sold many ex
quisite casts from the friezes of the Vatican.
They are largely used for iuterior decorative
Mr. Teiiniel's contributions to Punch have
lieeti as varied in character as they have lieeu
uniformly excellent. He is equally at biue
in pathos and tragedy, in playfulness and
satire; but underlying all his work is a spirit
of grave earnestness which proo-eds from
conscientious zeal. Ho always honestly
strivts to make the best of his subjects, bow
ever uncongenial, and his remarkable skill is
an open secret that the subjects for the weekly
cartoons in Punch are selected and discussed
n! the weekly dinner of the staff, held every
Wednesday; and the artist must olten find
his imaginative powers rather hundicaji-d
and circumscribed by the political exigencies
of the hour.
The subject for the following week's picture
haung leen selected for him, or perhaps sug
gisted by himself, he takes a day to turn it
over in his mind, and on the morrow fonini
lates his ideas on paper. He makes his draw
ing in iiencil on the wood, aud rarely fails to
complete it at a single silting. It is finished
by the afternoon of the day on which he
commences it, and it is sent off to the engrav
er's the same evening. He disjniises alto
gether with models, relying on Ins own intui
tive knowledge and skill. He is of necessity
a rapid worker, for it is never sale to tackle
his subject till the last moment. A single
day may change the jxilitical situation and
upset the plans of the artist.
The hardship of working at high pressure
is that Mr. Teiiniel's cartoons always nm the
ri-k of lieing spoiled in the process of engrav
ing. He technical skill of the engraver
leaves nothing to Im? desired, but tho time at
his disposal is barely sutlicieiit to do justice
to the drawings under ordinary circum
stances; and if Mr. Teiiniel's work is delayed
by u few hours, or even if it is more elabor
ate than usual in its details, parts of it have
to le omitted or cut away, to the great detri
ment of the original design. Another result
of the system is that Mr. Tonniul can never
enjoy the relaxation of a regular holiday; for
with the exception of a week or two some
years ago, his drawings have apjx'ared regu
holy week after week without intermission
Metropolitan Opera llouste Orchestra.
Montgomery Schuyler in Haiqier's.
Among the novelties the arrangement of
the orchestra deserves mention. It is placed,
not iu Wagner's "Mystic Gulf," but, in a brick
Imwl .sunk Ixdow the panpietti aud floored at
n level, which will leave the musicians visible
uly from the upiier tiers. The sonority of
this reservoir is exix'ctcd materially tociiforce
the volume of tone. Another nowlty is the
svi.tem of supporting the slas'o. The supports
of the stiige must, bo readily reuinvnlilo 'so
I hut any point underneath may be utilized, as
it may lie called for by the varying exigen
cies ot the ill, una. Ordin.nily thi-t require
ment is fulfilled by the use of a wilderness of
timU'rsupporis, any section of which may be
ktiix'ked away as the space it oceiipii's is
needed. This arrangement is hardly compat
ible with a fireproof building Hern a liht
iron const ruction has been devised, contain
ing some 1,010 iiiemliers, which has all the
facility of removal and reconstruction of the
carpentry. The cellar of the stage is thirty
feet deep from the floor, and this depth Is
divided into tluve stories, of which any one,
or any section of all three, can be made
available at once.
The Mrlioul master Abroad.
In Yorkshire, if the schoolmaster is abroad,
ho does not apiiear to making very great
progress, for one of tho Yorkshire newspa
pers gives nn account of au examination iu
which a Ixiy on Ix'iug asked to name one of
the minerals of Australia promptly replied
The bison lias reupitoared ou the p.'ains ot
THE BLUE WART;
An Inquiring Young Mind Fastens
Itself upon the 8chool.
Young Mulkittle went to school for the first
time the other day. He had been carried
through a "course of fproute" at home to pre
pare him for the heavier duties of school life,
ami his examination had been so satisfactory
that Mrs. Mulkittle congratulated herself on
her skill as a teacher. It was decided that be
should attcud a private school, taught by a
pious maiden lady with angular shape and a
blue wart on the side of her nose.
"Now, Miss Ray," said Mrs. Mulkittle.
wh ' ii sau presented the boy to the teacher, "I
want you to make him mind you. I don't
think that you will find him self-willed. He
is easily governed by kind treatment, and I
think that he will become very much attached
to you aud I feel that you will learn to love
"Oh, I am quite sure," replied Miss Ray,
who had been much more successful in her
love affairs with children than with men.
"All ot my scholars love me. Don't throw
paper wads, Tommy Peter. They all oon
learn that though I am gentle I will be
obeyed. Johnny Ames, don't rake the wall
with that nail."
"Well, I will leave him with you, Miss
Hay. Willie, be a good boy."
"Don't let me hear any bad reports of
"f'ome here my little man, and let me see
how tar you aro advanced," said Miss Ray,
when Mrs. Mulkittle had gone.
"I'm way past Baker, an' Shady, an' Lady,"
said i he lxy, when Miss Ray opened a spelling
Ixiok. "I can read anil write easy words,"
and looking up he caught sight of the blue
wart Now, any other kind of a wart might
have been overhxaked or excused without in
vestigation, but a blue wart was something
new to the boy and could not be dismissed.
"What's that on your uosef"
"You can read some, can youf" asked Miss
Hay, preteuding not to have heard the boy's
"Yes, some. What's that ou your uosef'
A titter weut around the room, and Miss
Kay turning to young Mulkittle said rather
"It's a wart. Now pay attention to me."
"It s a mighty funuy wart. What kind of
a wart is it f"
"I don't know. Now pay attention to
"You know it's blue, don't you!"
"Thought you didn't know."
"Hush u w, and let me see how far you
"Does it hurtf"
"Why don't you pick ItP'
"Hush, now. Children, keep quiet. You
are enough to drive a body wild."
"Don't you wish it wasn't there?"'
"No. Now look here."
"I'm lookin' there, Why don't you pull
that hair out of it. No, it ain't a hair. I
thought it was."
The lady lx?came embarrassed and then
angry under the boy's scrutiny. "If you
don't stop asking so ninny foolish questions,
I'll send you homo."
"But I want to know what I want to know
jvtst as much as I want to know what you
want me to know."
"Well, now, what do you want to know!
I'll satisfy you if it is iu my power."
"How long has the wart been theref
"Ever since I eau remember," replied Miss
Ray, settling herself back with calm consid
eration. "Ibis it Ikhii blue all the time!"
"Will it always be bluef"
"I think so."
"Did you ever try to take it o(TI"
"Why haven't youf
"Ii, cause T haven't."
"Wi,, ,s . .ni. you haven't f"
"1 don't know."
"You are enough to run a person crazy."
"It keeps you from getting married, don't
it J 'Cause nobody would want "
"You leave here this minute, you good-for-nothing
little rascal. Goon, aud don't you
come back here again."
A Letter From Hill .'ye.
The following letter from Mr. Nye, which
we take the liberty to publish, corrects an
error in a manner so characteristic that it
will bo of interest to every reader: "Lar
amikCitv, Wyoming. My dear Read: Your
p,'iier is of such excellence and reliability
t hat 1 refer to an item contained therein,
hoping to correct an error which The Chi
cago Eye has given currency to, viz.:
that I would soon unite myself
with the aforesaid optic. It is true that
I have sold my stock in The Boomerang, re
signed the postoulce, and shall go to Hudson,
Wis., next mouth to live on account of my
health, which now, however, is rapidly im
proving. Only about one man out of 1,000
lives through acute spinal meningitis, but
even as Eli Perkins based the ridge pole of
his ::rk and took nine strokes of lightning out
of the angry sky, so have I absorbed what
spinal meningitis there was in Wyoming and
made it a healthy country. I feel as though
the future was still before me, and therefore
I cannot sufficiently admire the Allwise fore
sight of placing it in that position. I still re
tain my mental faculties aud the respect of
total strangers. I shall issue a new book next
month, called "Baled Hay,' which will
lie illustrated by F. Opper, of Puck, ami
myself. The illustrations that I have drawn
are of course crude and eccentric, but
tli-v are full of soul. I may say as to my
union vith any paper, that I have closed no
coiitiiii-t a ml shall not do so for another
mouth. All rpxrta to the contrary should
lie regarded with great suspicion. With
earnest gotxl wishes for the prosperity of
yourself ami The Traveler always, I am
truly yours, BlU. Nvk."
I'roiniHcil I'olltlcal Innovation.
In our opinion, a xpular leader would ren
der his country no inconsiderable service by
bic'ikitig through the absurd custom of a
hundred years, mid presenting himself tor
election iu a district where he did not reside;
and we aro confident that if the custom was
nin e broken the advantages of the new sys
tem would speedily tie recognized. One of
the principal uses of a congressman has hith
erto been the obtaining of small federal of
fices for his "constituent." Under the dawn
ing regime of reform this degrading misuse
of representative will be done away with,
and "open constituencies" will be more possi
ble and more probable In America.
The H ay ot the World,
"lsup)ose the time will come," said Gen.
Hherinon in Cincinnati the other day, "when
we decrepit old men will be hauled around in
carriages and shown as rollca. It's the way
of the world."
A stitch in Time must make tho old chap
A TRAGEDY IN PAST PARTICIPLE3
Sally Saltre she was a teacher and taught,
And her friend Charley Church was a
preacher who Draught,
Though his friends all called him a screecher
His heart, when he saw her, kept sinking and
And bis eye, meeting hers, kept winking and
While she in turn, fell to thinking and
And hastened to woo her, and sweetly he
For his love grew until to a mountain it
Ami what he was longing to do, then ha
In secret ho wanted to sx3ak. and he spoke,
To seek with his lips what his heart long had
8o he managed to let the truth leak and it
He asked her to ride to church, and they
They so sweetly did glide that they both
thought they glode,
And they came to the place to be tied and
w ere toed.
Ami homeward, he saliL let us drive, and
Aud as siv m as they wished to arrive they ar-
Ftir whatever he couldn't contrive she con
trove. The kiss he was dying to steal then he stole;
At the feet w here he wanted to kneel there
And he said, "I feel better than ever I fole."
Ho they to each other kept clinging and clung,
While Time ou his circuit was winging
And this waa the thing be was bringing and
The man Sally wanted to catch and had
That she wanted from others to snatch and
Was the one she now liked to scratch and had
And Charley' warm love began freezing and
While he took to teasine and cruelly tose
The girl he had w ished to be squeezing and
"Wretch:" he cried, when she threatened to
leave him anil left,
"How could you deceive me as you have de-
Anil she answered; "I promised to cleave and
UNOLE ABE'S LECTURE.
A Verbatim Heport of the Addresn
Delivered In nn Alabama Church.
Montgomery Letter in Philadelphia Time.
Here follows a verbatim report of a lecturo
delivered by a "character" in a town in the
interior of this state:
"Frens nnd bredren, ladies and geminen: I
cuius afore you to-night to pint out de way of
de truf. Sum folks is called to preach and
glorify le Iird and sum is called to lecture
ami glorify do culled nation and lis dat man.
We am tie chosen people of de Lord and I
w ill tell you fore why and show you how dat
tiling stands. Wall, now you pintedly knows
as bow de grxxl book dun say 'detn de Lord
luv He chasteneth.' Now ain't dat proff, cae
ain't He dun chastened us and ain't we dun
stirved our time under de white folks) Den
again de givvd book says 'dem He luvs He will
deliver,1 and fore do Lord ain't He doue got
us free glory, hallelujah'."
Here the darkey audience became much ex
cited and cries "Dat's tntff, bniddor," "Bress
de Lord," etc., etc., were heard. Tho old
iuu mopped off his face with his gaudy
colored liainlaniia and continued:
"Yes, my bredren and sisteiD, you is dun
sot free, and I is gwine now for to show you
n s how you must duct and have yoursefsso
ilat you will be samples to the
whole worl. Ln de fust place, I says,
cii-ry a high head and stiff neck, case you
is de chosen people, aud let de white folks
know as how you is as good as dey if your
skin is sorter dark and your hair kinky.
Right here I brings in anuuder proof and
dat's do way a lecture man makes his pint.
Ain't it de aim of de white women nowadays
fur to make dar har kink, aud case it don't
kink natural don't dey have fur to screw it
up in papers and har-pins and iron it, too! I
tell you, my frens, de time aiu't fur off when
I spects to see our chiluns cut all de shine
often de white nation, and I hoes as how
you will member dat the bible says as how
'you mus turn good for evil.'
IngerNOII on Murress.
Inter Ocean Interview.
Drifting then, as the conversation did from
x)int to ixiint of interest, like a freighted
bark along a rugged const, Mr, Ingersoll
"Fame, sir. is a fleeting thine. Men droD
out of sight and arerever forgotten. I do
not see why these men waut to be president."
"Did you ever have any such aspirations r'
"When I was a young man I had ambi
tious. I have found that the cares
w hich come to a man in a place like that of
president of the United State are enormous.
After Garfield was nominated I said to him
one day, 'Garfield, you are going to be
elected president I hope, but by the time you
have been president a mouth you'll
wish you were running an ice-house
in hades.' Well, I saw him after he
had been president a little while, and I said,
'Well, Garfield, how does it go!' Aud he an
swered, 'I don't know but I'd prefer the ice
house business.' I tell you the hardest thing
a young man hus to endure iu this world is
success. Success to a young man, coming t
him wdieu he is young, is one of the hardest
things he can have to stand and keep his
poise. Fame! Why, think how few, how
very few of the names of the great, grand
men of Rome have been wafted along down
to us across the centuries. Aud the men
themselves, where is their fame! Who knows
them,' Who thinks of tliemf The men of
this world, how fast they go, how little they
louve behind them. Aud I tell you, when a
man grows to be a great uiau, then does lis
begin to feel bow little he is. The greater he
is, the less he knows.
Iteducing the Arnilea.
.The kings of Europe have receutly been
conferring together, Tho emperors of Aus
stria aud Germany have met, ami
the king of Spain has paid a visit
to several of his brother rulers.
The result is said to be au alliance botweeu a
number of the leading powers to bring about
a reduction of the several armies. In times oi
nrofound f ace Europe represents a vast
camp; nearly all the able-bodied men are
drafted iuto the armies, and the financial
burdens of the several nationa have, in conse
quence, liocome intolerable. It is believed
that a congress of the several nations will bo
held to see if something cannot be done to re
trench the military establishments, and save
some of the money now wasted on costly and
American couixinie have built over 10,
000,0(10 worth of railroads in Mexico, and
completed over 1,600 mike of track. The
English lines consist ot 353 miles, 4 Uie
Mexican roads 035 miles.