Newspaper Page Text
CAIKO. ILLINOIS, SUNDAY MORNING, . JANUARY 6, 1884.
iiij s eih
S.slw tj eg r
i R ll rga
Q.EORQE D. LEACH, M.D.
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON.
Special ittentlon paid to the Homeopathic treat
sent of surgical dleeseee. end diseases of women
OFKICB On 14th street, opposite the Poet
office, Cairo, 111. -
J)R. J. E. STRONG,
129 Commercial Ave-, Cairo, Hi.
VAPOR, ELXCTBO-VAPOR Ml DICATKD
administered dally. .
A lad; la attendance.
)R. W. C. JCCKLYN,
OFFICI-Ilf hU Street, new Cobb ere la! A rente
J)R. E W. WHITLOCK,
Unut-Jo. 1M Commercial Avenue, between
Btkth and Mluth Street
A Hew ana complete Hotel, fronting o.
Second and Railroad Street.
The Paaienger D pot of Ue Chicago, St. looli
td jiewOrlean: Illlnol Central; wabach, Ht.
Ural and Pacific; Iron Mountain and Southern,
Mobile and Ohio; Cairo and St. Lome Railway
re all Jnet aero the etreet; while the Steamboat
Lending le bnt one square distant.
Tbl Hotel I heated by steam, bu team
Leondry, Hydraulic Klevetor, Kiectrlc Call Bella.
Antoinette Fire-Alarm. Batha, abiolntely pur air,
perfect sewerage and umplete appointment.
Baperb furnishing; perfect aerrlce; and an na
zee fled table.
Is. P. PARK K Ft CIO.. Lmiimh
W. bTBATTON, Cairo. T. BIRD, Missouri.
STBATTON & BIRD,
Ho. 87 Ohio Lev, Cairo, TJ.
arijiati American Powder Co.
Boot & Shoe
r. a a r i i t K.i. a, a.!, a. a
WW VAIIU 1 A TO.. UOtJ. W1.U si vsu aim,,
Jost;.rsclvsd a fall line of
FALL ajtd WINTER GOODS
wfctch h will at the lowett bottom priwi. It
mBPiitet the beit of 6T. LOUIS HAND-MADB
nAamnU U a vn A fiTI TTJIT a I A tiTVI
and CHILDRBN'S SHOES, and OB NTS' BUB'
BIB BOOTS and SHOES.
BFW aio make to order anything la oar Una
m we oeei material ana wonmsasaip.
JJ E. INGE,
Manufacturer and Dealer tti -
tth Street, between Cotn'I Ave. eud Levee.
CHOKE BORING A SPECIALTY
ALL KJHOB OP AMUIflTIOK.
tH Baoalred. All Kind of Keys Mad.
A Household Article for CnfYerael
For aoarlet and
Soro Throat, Small
Pos, Meaalee, and
all Contagion Diseases. Vcrtom waiting on
the Sick should use U freely. Scarlet Fever has
ever been know to spread where the Fluid waa
wed. Yellow Fever hat been cured with it after
black vomit had taken pla). The wuret
oi uipnincria yieia 10 u.
aTeveredand Sick Per-
PtTTINO of Small
A member of my fam
ily was ukn with
Small-po. I need the
Fluid ; the patient waa
not delirious, was not
pitted, and wa about
on refreshed and
Bod Bore prevent
ed by bathing with
Impure Air made
hanaless and purified.
For Sore Throat it it a
For Frosted Feet,
oft White Comples
the house again in three
weeks, and no other
had it. -J. W. Pak.
ion tecured by ita use.
Ship Fever prevented.
To purify the Breath,
Cleanae the Teeth.
It can't be turpaaaed.
Catarrh relieved and
Burn relieved unlaatly .
Dynente: j eared.
Woond healed rapidly.
A Antidote far Animal
or Vegetable Poison,
I used the Fluid during
ear present affliction with
Scarlet Fever with de
cided advantage. It ia
iBdktpentabl to the tick,
sootm. Wm. F. Sad
foao. Eyrie. Ala,
The physician here
use Darby Fluid very
successfully ia the treat-
rt of Diphtheria.
Tetter dried op.
Ulcere purified and
In CMC of Death h
ahould be used about
the corpse it will
prevent any unple.
The eminent Phyv
RUB, M. D., Mew
York, says: "I am
convinced Prof Darby
Prophylactic Fluid is a
Vandermlt Cniveraity. NaahvlUe, Tenn.
I testify to the most excellent qualities of Prof.
Darby Prophylactic Fluid. As a disinfectant and
detergent it is both theoretically and practically
wpenor to anypreparation with which I am ac
quainted. N. T. LurroM, Prof. Chemistry.
Darby Plaid I Recommended by
Hon. ALsxAxosa H. Smraiies, of Georgia;
Rev. Chas. F. Deans, D.D., Church of the
Strangers, N. Y.;
ioe. LaCoura, Columbia. Prof .University, S.C
Lev. A J. Bmu, Prof., Mercer University;
Rev. Cao. F. Piaaca, Buhop M. . Church.
DTD IHPKNH ABLE TO EVERT HOME.
Pertsctly harmless. Used internally or
externally for Man or Beast.
Tb Fluid has been thoroughly tested, end we
have abundant evidence that it has done everything
her claimed. For fuller Information get of your
Druggist a pamphlet or send to the proprietors,
J. H. ZELTJW CO.,
Manufacturing Chemista. PHllADCLPHIA.
CAIRO OPERA HOUSE.
FRIDAY, January 11.
Laughing Room Only!
J. H. HAVERLY'S
in the great taecee, entitled
In four acts and one thousand laoghs.
In the 1st Act yon lanjfhl
In the 2d Act yon roar!!!
In the 3d & 4th Ata yon shout! I!
Eyery Member of the Compa
ny an Artist!
Those who come to laugh
remain to ROAR !
Beserved teat at Buder's. Popu'ar prices, to,
SO and K cent. H i extra charge for reserved
seat. Admission to matin, suci ; cauaren, sos
136 fc 138 Coml Ave.
have received a fall snd complete line
ot new Fall and Winter
Cloaks, Dolmans, Notions, Etc.
A heavy stock of Body Pruetele, Taper
trie and Ingram
A full stock of Oil Cloths, all (Is snd prices.
Mint & M Furnish'g Goods
A fail snd complrt stock Is now being
elesed est at great bargain.
11 OooAsj t Bottom Prion!
I Scarlet Fever
H. B. W. lo The Independent
The Church of the Holy Three King In
Heidelberg wm fair and fragrant with
brancbee of apple and cherry blossoms. Gar
land of spring flowers twined the chancel
rati and crept down to the bride' feet. One
daring cluster had fallen on the velvet cush
"Margery will kneel on crushed flower,"
whispered a romantic American girL
"And a nice stain it will make on her wed
ding dress," replied a German matron. ''See,
she haa put it aside. The beautiful franlein
has much tense."
Fraulela Margery, kneeling, had taken up
the cluster of daisies. They were still in her
hand when she came down the aisle.
Margery Bnennan was an orphan. For
six years she had been at the school in Heidel-.
berg. The last few months Uncle Jack had
taken rooms In the town, in an old house
with a balcony looking toward the castle.
On the floor above Uved Robert Brown, a
young American physician; and from tout
arrangement had come about the American
wedding at the Chnrch of the Holy Three
EVngs. The three bride maids wore fancy
wreaths about their dainty straw hats, and
baskets of pansiee hung from the belts of
their cream-colored droswa. The church lay
in A market-place, and the market women
stood In groups about the door. Toung Dr.
Brown, catching a glimpse of their smiling
faces, thought no sweeter greeting could
come to his young bride on her wedding day,
and Uncle Jack, giving a handful of silver to
the nearest woman, said in a voice that broke
e little: ......
"Spend it among you; you are all Mar
gery's friends. "
e . , e
The Royal London circus, on its summer
tour, was advertised to perform In Bristol.
The manager had previously sent to that city
Timothy Twycrass, "world-renowned clown
and tumbler," to find and to hire half a dosen
bale girls. Timothy Twycrass bated the
oommlsKion. Under the red and white
stripped Jacket beat a tender heart. This
heart had often ached for the neglected chil
dren, who for one evening were transformed
from the rag of their wretched garrets into
the glory of tmaled fairies. The first per
formance in Bristol was over; the dressing
maid was washing from the children's cheeks
the only tint of rose which, perhaps, had ever
rested there. After this Bukey would go
with them in a cab to their respective homes.
"Isnt the a pretty littl de&rr said the maid
to Timothy, wrapping the shawl around the
youngest of the group. Timothy came nearer.
Hit hideous costume and painted face did not
frighten the efatid, saw she stretched out her
little arm to touch hi belt of balls.
'Merciful Heavens 1" cried Timothy; for
there were braises on the arm and shoulder.
The heart under the red and white stripes
beat angrily, and the voice so used to uttering
Insane nothings sounded strange as he asked
an okkr girl if this little child had a mother.
"Ho," she answered. "Her dont belong to
nobody. Missus treats her dreadful, and
then the master beats missus. He's good to
sk whan be ain't drunk."
"Bisf" and Bukey looked Inquiringly.
"Her aint got no name. Missus always
her Bin. Master oalta her Little Un."
"You can Uk the othes home, Sukey. I
shall oarry this baby." And wrapping hit
traveling rug about the little waif, Timothy,
forgetful of bis attire, strode out In the nlghv.
A crowd Mngarad about the booth where the
vwo-headed woman held a soiree and the al
bino children winked with their pink eyes.
Timothy made his way through the people.
It waa but a few steps to the old tenement
house from which the child was brought a ')
"Missus" bad never seen a clown, and
when Timothy threw open the door ad cried,
Do you call yourself a woman V she
screamed hysterically: "What have I done!
Let me got" But perceiving the little girL
ah realised that the strange appearance waa
BO avenging Send, and began to scold.
"I hate the child." she said. "Bhe's
tight Her father was my brother. He's
dead now. If you like her so well you hay
better keep her. Go along with you bothf"
The little cheek was laid close against Tim
othy's face; a faint frightened voice said, "I
will be good." And the man knew as he
dsw his trembling burden closer than he had
taken the child forever.
Timothy was dressed in his best and stood
af the door of Bt Paul's rectory.
The world-renowned clown and tumbler
never felt so manly as when he entered the
minister's study and said1. "I've a child I
want christened. I m going to furrin parts
next week. I'd like it done in England. I
stoat know much myself ; but I want to bring
her np right rve mostly tumbled up."
Then be told the child's story unconsciously
(ailing his own. Timothy waa-awkward and
HI at ease, but the few words he said came
to the minister like a strong chord of musio
tenderly sustaining the song of a little child.
"To-morrow will be Easter day. There
will be a baptism at St Paul's. Bring your
Uttie daughter at 8."
Timothy bowed. He knew very little
about Easter, excepting that in Easter
holidays the audiences were always large.
"What are you going to call berl" asked
Bukey, as she dressed the child in white and
put on the little shoes and stockings.
Margery, for mother," said Timothy.
Sukey went to the church with "Mile.
Elise Vivian!, the famous rope dancer and
the loveliest lady in the land." .
They sat in one of the front slips. Neither
of tnem had seen a christening before.
Mile. Elise held the prayer-book upside down.'
She had never learned to read. Sukey said
amen whan tha minister's wife did; but
Timothy, who had in some way attained
quits a high degree of culture in reading,
writing and ciphering, was able to take an
"Tha vain pomp and glory of the world,"
aid he, following the service. "That means
the circus. The child mustn't have anything
to do with it Til send her to school, and
when she finishes with her books I'll finish
the business. Til hare a good bit in the bank
. For the first time in his life Timothy felt
ashamed of his profession.
It was Margery's 14th birthday, and with
Uncle Jack the waa taking tea in Frau Zip's
shady garden. Frau Zip was the landlady of
a vary quiet and respectable pension, and
ban John Sherman came whenever his busi
ness arrangements allowed him a few hours
John Sherman was a reserved, rather sad
looking man of about 42. Ha paid his bills
promptly, made the servants suitable pres
ents, and Fran Zip a remembrance every
Ouigtaaa Ha impressed bis German land
lady wa mysterious man.
For two long years she bad been Investigat
ing bar lodger's probable occupation; but at
tha tod of all bar conjectures and theories aha
was not wiser than in the beginning.
Margery bad no relative bat Unci Jack.
Has eould remember no life but days at school,
sometimes la France, sometimes In Germany,
ow and then a week of holiday or an after
son with bar uncle. ItwMancld-fashJoned
gardesi fall of shadows that seemed to oome
ttowa from the vine-covered billa The hill
mm swUss as the shadows fell on them.
dren is coming to Heidelberg. I wish you
would stay and take me. I have never seen a
: "Impossible. I cannot be back here for
three months at least"
! "What a pity," said Margery.
The shadows which had darkened the roses
seemed to have fallen on Mr. John Sherman's
face and he kwked unusually grave as he left
the young girl that night in Frau Morgen
"Grand combination circus English,
French and American." Three weeks before
men came to put up the bills. Three
days before others came to engago rooms,
and one exciting evening an extra train
brought the men, women and cbildreu, tents,
animals and monstrosities.
"It is most marvelous!" said Frau Zip, re
turning from market. "It is like the em
peror's birthday. So many people!"
An American, French and English circus
was an eveut in Heidelberg. Everyone went,
even the little crowu prince of Sweden, with
Bis tutor. rTau ilorgensteru saw no impro
priety in taking her young ladies.
There were the usual feats of strength and
agility, the usual marvelous leaps through
the air, the trained horses who danced a
quadrille, the elephants, the giants, music,
spangles, sawdust, and lemonade sold in the
A strange fejling came to Margery that
night a feeling of something familiar and
of something forgotten. She could not . un
derstand it; but when Timothy Twycrass
made his grand flourish Margery loosened a
knot of iTOkjon from her hair, tied it around
a whins' roette wore in her drees, and threw
the rdas at the'klown's feet He picked it up
and stood quite still. It was just then that
Frai Zip's daughter Sophie said to her
mother: "Somehow he looks like Mr. Sher
man." The resemblance was gone in a mo
ment, and Frau Zip, looking in the direction
of Sophie's eyes, said: "Child, what nonsense,
you are near-sighted; you should wear
Frau Morgenstern fortunately did not ob
serve Miss Margery's action,
As tbe crowd passed out, two women with
shawls over their heads stood at tbe door.
They looked curiously at Margery. "She's
grown a beautiful young lady, Sukey," said
Mile. Elise Viviani. It's better for her never
to have known tbe likes of us."
"And to think she Bhould have thrown
Timothy the rose, and her never knew him!"
said Sukey. "And her looking so pretty
with her eyes all afire. It was lucky for
Tim he did not have to go out again. H
couldn't have done a thing. I never did see
a man so overcome."
When Uncle Jack was again in Heidelberg,
Margery told him the story of the circus man
and the rose.
"I couldn't keep it" said Margery. "I
knew Frau Morgenstern would have scolded,
but just then I wanted to give that clowa
everything I had in the world. What madei
me feel so, Uncle Jack? I didn't know him.
You are not angry f asked Margery, for
Uncle Jack had turned away his head; but
probably that was only to look at the yellow
kitten playing in the grass.
Then came more happy school days, the
happy six months in the house with the
balcony looking toward the castle, and the
happy wedding wit h If s-i in blossoms and
the pansy-decked bndet,.uuid at the church
of the Holy Three Sings.
Robert Brown lives sometimes in one
l European city, sometimes in another, work
ing in tbe hospitals and advancing in
his profession. When Margery "finished
with her books," Uncle Jack "finished with
his business," as he had promised himself
that Easter afternoon at St Paul's. Neither
Margery, nor Frau Zip, nor Sophie nor even
Robert Brown ever knew that John Sher
man, professor of gymnastics in one of the
English colleges, was once Timothy Twy
crass, "world-renowned clown and tumbler"
of tbe Royal London circuo.
The Tribulations of Fnnay Han.
The editor of a humorous paper should be
pitied. He should be pitied because he is con
demned to assume the caps and bells when a
plug hat or a Scotch cap would suit him bet
ter, and perhaps be more becoming. He
should befitied because be is obliged to write
yards of humorous matter every week,
whether he is in the humor or not But more
especially should be be pensively pitied be
cause upon him are thrust the old, worn, and
decrepit jokes, the old battered jokes, the
feeble old jokes, the moss-covered jokes which
should be banged down into the bottom of tbe
They are brought to him by his friends,
and shot at him through the mail, and are
alway accompanied with the suggestion:
"That's a mighty good thing to put in your
paper." They have shone and scintillated
and glistened through countless centuries,
but that these old familiar pleasantries
should be offered on the base pretense that
they are new, fresh and blooming is what
cuts us to the quick and racks our whole
anatomy with pain. Those of us who are
acquainted with all these jokes, easily recog
nize their familiar faces, and can tell at a
glance, no matter in what form or dress they
masquerade, that tbey came to life long be
fore the dawn of the glacial period, and have
ever since bobbed and eddied on the surging
waters of time, and are quite liable to float
out on the shoreless waves of eternity.
Tbe Dullness) of Humor.
' Chicago News.
Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, in speaking of
Proctor Knott and Spoftord's venture in
compiling the humorous stories of ancient
and modern literature, said: "A strictly
humorous book is the dullest of all things.
The first page or two may amuse you, and
then comes dullness. The best part of wil
and humor comes from a contrast with
the serious matters of life. The fun in the
newspapers is heightened by the fact tbat it
comes In contrast with the matter-of-fact
record of the day's events. The saddest
things in the newspapers are their profes
sionally humorous columns, while the fun
niest things in the New York newspapers are
their would-be grave editorials. My idea of
a book on wit and humor would be an an
alytation of what it is, with occasional illus
trations. Such a work might be interesting
if the right man took hold of it"
West Home Matlaflea.
An old gentleman from New Jersey was in
the common pleas court-room in New York
the other day at a time when Jay Gould, Rus
sell Sage, and Cyrus W. Field were all pres
ent. For two hours the old man watched the
faces of tbe millionaires with the closest at
tention. "I can go home satisfied now," ha
exclaimed, as he left the room, "for I have
seen three men that's got money enough to
buy the whole of New Jersey."
Forgot to Cry.
New York News.
It was an absent-minded little maiden who
at on the floor crying. After awhile she
stopped and seemed burled in thought Look
ing up suddenly, she said: "Mamma, what
was I crying about!" "Becaues I wouldn't
let you go down town." "Oh, yet," and she
set up another howl . ,.;, .'
' Russian Provwb: Aak a pig to dinner and
be will put hist fast ea the What
But tha princ.Look Hid tn
' bash , Thera '.Didn't Fasten'
Her Down Tootss."
Detroit Free Press.
The fair Imogene D'Eustis bad
wedded to the knightly SamHiggtna, The
clergyman had been handed $3 in cash to pay
for tbe splicing, the guests were filling them
selves up with eatables, and everything waa
sliding along as smoothly as a cider mill sail
ing down on a spring freshet, when all at
once the bride was missing.
Her newly found husband looked under
the table, but she was not there.
The guests separated to search. Some
looked down the well others down cellar
others in the hen-coop and smoke-house and
behind the pig pen. No Imogene.
Then some said that she had been abducted,
while others scoffed at the idea of a girl
weighing 196 pounds and having a scream
which could be heard two miles, being car
ried off in broad daylight, and in a neighbor
hood where the Democrats had over two bun
A detective was called in. He looked at
her old shawl, measured the length of her
shoes, and decided that it waa a mysterious
affair. He would take the case if desired,
but would not promise any satisfactory solu
tion under a year and a half.
, The fair Imogene's father hadn't betrayed
much excitement up to this point The wed
ding feast was the first square meal he had
tackled for six months, and be wanted to fill
up before giving way to emotion. He waa
now full, He turned around upon the ex
cited and distressed guests, commanded them
to bush their hullaballo, and disappeared up
When the coy Imogene slipped away from
the feast it was to see if her husband would
miss and fallow her. She slid up stairs,
mounted to the garret, and after brushing
the cob webs off her nose she advanced to the
big blue chest in tbe corner. The chest had
been made to bold her father's government
bonds, and was hooped with iron and pro
vided with a spring lock, which never cost
less than a dollar. Her mission was to hide
in the chest and see if her husband would be
soft enough to climb up there and throw up
the lid and call peek-a-boo. As the reader
knows, he wasn't the man to catch on.
The old man D'Eustis walked up stairs and
made his way to the garret through tbe same
trap-door the bride had used. He thought she
might be up there to take a last farewell look
at te bunches of catnip, moldy school books
and broken spinning-wheels. He could not
see her. He called aloud, but the whistle of
the tug on the river was the only answer.
He turned to go, but something whispered to
him that perhaps be might And a plug of to
bacco or a bottle of stomach bitters in tbe old
chest He advanced with beating heart and
threw up the lid.
; "Why, pop, is this youl" cried the fair Imo
gene as she sprang up and ripped ber bridal
dress clear down the back.
"Yes, this is me I" growled tbe old man
"and what the jlmcracks are you doing bereP,
"Hiding from Sam."
"I'm a tarnal mind to box your ears, big
as you are I Here you've raised a regular
city convention all over the house, spoilt a
dress which cost me $14 with the making, up
set your mother, and aoart old Mrs. Spigot
Into a fltr
"Please, pop, I-"
"You gitl Drap yourself through that
trap-hole, skip down there and tell the crowd
tbat you don't know beans when the bag's
And the bride got And her husband was
so mad that he burned up a free railroad pass
to Chicago, and her mother cried, and ber
father went off down town to play poker,
and, taken all in all, tbe coy bride and the
old chest and the spring lock business didnt
pay 10 cento on tbe dollar.
He Agreed That It Would. '
Detroit Free Press.
In front of a Detroit butcher shop yester
day a butcher sat cleaning a revolver. It
was a rusty old "Colt" which had not been
used for y an I was to be put in order and
traded oil'. A .Wmaker came along di
rectly and observed:
"Of course there'll be an accidentf
"Y-e-s, I presume so."
"It isn't loaded, is itP
"But it will go off r
"I never saw a revolver without wanting
to handle it Let me look at that weapon.
Ah I I'm satisfied now that it doesnt contain
any stray bullets. Do you suppose you could
bit my foot at that distancef'
"Certainly I could. Now, if she was loaded
I'd take a dead sight like that and pull the
Tbe shoemaker jumped two feet and yelled
like an Indian, and when he came down ha
danced and kicked and galloped around until
people thought him crazy. It was only after
a crowd bad collected and cornered him up
in the shop that any one found out tha
trouble- The butcher had put a bullet along
tbe sole of his foot close enough to draw
"I told you she'd go offl" howled the shoe
maker, as be sat with his boot in his hand.
"And didn't I agree with youf' innocently
responded the butcher.
Paralysing a Btvrgasnaa.
"Check my baggage, slrl" exclaimed a not
unmusical voice at the Central depot yester
day morning. The tosser of personal prop
erty reached out his horny hand with the bit
of brass in the same nonchalant way that ha
has doue it a thousand times before. But big
indifference was dispelled when he saw toe
voucher disappear In the pocket of a gentle
man's coat, which was stretched over tb
skirt of a full length lady's dress. Lifting
his astonished eyes from the frills and ruffles
ot tbe ample lower garment be saw a well
rounded chest clothed in a neat-fitting waist
coat; next a shapely neck encircled with a
No. 16 turn-down collar mcreaaed his wonders
then a head with closely-cropped black hair,
surmounted by a jaunty Derby hat, filled
him with astonishment
The mystery was soon solved, for la
answer to a few kind questions the one robed
in mystery declared that she was a girl; that
ber name was Mist Bryant; tbat she bailed
from Fulton, Oswego county, and was not a
doctor nor a disciple of Mary Walker Of
Miss Bloomer. And tbe likewise affirmed
that she was not a reformer, never knew of
any one who had adopted ber mode of dreaa,
and did not know as any one would. Ear
object was comfort and economy. She
heeded not the suppressed whisper of tha
ladies or tbe glance of askance ot tbe gen-'
men, but busied herself In an apparent
sjsthetio reverie over a little bouquet fas
tened on the -lappel of ber coat
Decided at Laat, ,
Peck's Sun. '
A Tezaa debating society debated the
question, "When a watermelon vine runs on
to i anotber man's land, who owns the
naalona Tbe referee decided that the
aoaorsd men wha lived about a mile and a
fcW torn the two
tfEXIOAJr POSTOFFIOE METHODS.
Featag Peeullarltlee in Monterey.
He City Delivery, Ho kHanapa SeU,
(Fannie Brig ham Ward In Pioneer Prees.
The postofflos, on tbe opposite side of tha
plaza, is an institution of the
aggravating character, conducted strictly 08
Mexican manana (to-morrow) . principles.
Although Monterey has now many foreign
residents, there is not a clerk in the office who '
understands a word of any language, or can '
read other than Mexican names. As the .
Spanish alphabet does not contain all the ,
English letters (for instance, it has no W, its '
Ts are all Fs, and its I's are Y's) the mistakes I
that perpetually occur are enough to make an I
angel weep. Of course Mexican ladies never -
go to the postoffice, and it an "Americano"
. 111 I ........
ventures to ao so, pernaps sue win uu wsmkm
upon in course of time, after having been
severely stared at, and all tbe men about the '
premises are first attended to. . . ';:.
There is no drop-letter system, and no city ,
delivery. If you desire to communicate by .
letter with a person in the same town, no
amount of persuasion er number of postage'
stamps will Induce the powers that be to to '
put your missive into his box. While post.'
age to the United States, Canada and Eo-:
rope is only 0 cents per half-ounce, it is 23
cents to any part of Mexico, if only across
tbe line from one state to another; and very
particular they are In weighing, to get in
anotber 25 cents if possible. Mexi
can postal cards are 8 cents each, good
for any part of tbe world, except in Mexico
but may not be sfjait from one town to an
otber within their own borders. -
In Monterey (if you look particularly hon
est) tbey will sometimes sell you one or two
postage stamps to carry away with you but
never more than two; while in other Mexican '
postoffices thoy will not sell you any. Why, ,
heaven only knows, except that it ia one of
the many "rules of the government" Tbe
postoffioe is frequently closed, for hours at a
time, while the postmaster and all his clerks
are enjoying a long siesta. As there is no
outside box for depositing letters, even if wt
had stamps to put on them. I am afraid that
this institution is responsible for considerable
profanity, especially on the part of those whe
have been accustomed to better treatment in
Los Estados Unidos del Norte, as they insist
on calling our United States, in contradis
tinction to their del sur.
Kxamplee of Prodigious Memory.
Temple Bar. .,
A conductor must have a prodigious mu- ,
sical memory if he can, as Herr Richter usu- :
ally does, conduct such a score by heart,
never forgetting to beckon to any instrument i
at the very second wanted. I say a pro
digious musical memory, because the faculty -
of remembering is by no means a general,
but a special one. One man may, as Richtst .
for instance, know a number of scores by -heart,
another may be able to keep an in
credible number of figures in his remem
brance, and not be able to retain tbe smallest
musical motif. The Emperor Napoleon ILL,
who never forgot a man be had once spoken
to, could so little remember a musical them
that you might have played tbe same thing
twice over to bim and given it two different .
names, and be never would have known it
An example of the most astounding mem
ory is the winner of the national chess tour
nament, Mr. Zuckerfort He is capable not
only ot playing a game of chess by heart, L
e., without ever looking at his board, but be
ing told his adversary's move, instantly re
plying with bis countermove and keeping tht
position, however altered, in his head; but
further, he played sixteen games at the same
time in the same way, tbat is to say, before
each of sixteen tables sat a player with a
board, and they informed him after eack
other of their respective moves; be replied
and never confounded one position with an
otber, never made a fal&e move, but twice de
tected, where on purpose false moves were
made to test him, the wrong direction. H
performed an especially curious feat in the'
house of a friend where there was a whist
party, playing a game of chess by heart with
some oue in the adjoining room, and when
the cards for whist were dealt be looked ones
through his cards then put them away, and
each time his turn came be mentioned the
card be wished to play, all the while continu
ing his chess game, aud never keeping either
his chess or his whist partner waiting out
minute for the necessary move.
Lake Michigan Booming.
Inter Ocean "Curbstone Crayons."
My friend stopped to shake haiids with a
stoic in a slouch hat, taking the rain as it
came, but this time I retained the umbrella.
Returning to shelter, be said: "That man is
a character. He lives down the Illinois Cen
tral about 150 miles, and is pretty well off, as
they say there. Tbe last time he was in Chi
cago there were freshets throughout the
state, and all the streams were very high.
On his return home his neighbors asked him
how the lake was, and he said with great
positiveness, 'Booming. Tbe rains filled her
plumb full, and the water off by the crib was
ten feet higher than I ever saw it before.'
And the worst of it was his remark was
quoted in the district school for monthi
after to prove tbat the waters in Lake
Michigan went up and down with the fluctu
ating water courses."
THE COWBOYS TALE.
"Are there no real good Injuns f"
The cowboy raised bis bead,
And glancing at the tenderfoot
He turned to him and said:
"I rode the prairies, pardner, -
Ten years in rain or sun,
But as to real good Injuns,
I hain't met more'n one.
A swig o' that horse liniment,
And then I'll try to place
This A 1 virtuous redskin
That for goodness trumped the see.
Twas at the bar of Mack's Ford,
A lot of boys one day
Got to making things quite lively
In a ball and cartridip way.
I banged around about uie
And didn't oount the odds
I'd been soakin' electriclsty
Like fifty lightning rods
When suddenly the sheriff
And his gang came bounding down,
And the boys took to their cattle
And dusted out o' town.
But something was tbe matter
With my headworks, I dare say,
For I stumbled by the roadside
And couldn't find my way.
And the next I can remember
It was night and pitchy black,
And I tried to strike the trail from thera
But couldn't hit a track.
And I was mighty dizzy,
And I felt 1 should have died,
When standing just before me
An Injun's shape I spied.
He held his hands out to me, ;
But didn't say a word:
And wbeu I tried to hail him
He neither spoke nor stirred.
And then I slipped in somehow
- Between each sturdy arm.
And he let me down so gentle
Without a bit o' harm.
And I lay there quite contented .
And aiept until twas day,
And woke to find him watching
At my aide tbe same old way. '
Bo I climbed upon my uprights, ,
And a word I ooulont say. ,
But I looked tbe red man in the feat,
And then I sneaked away.
W parted. But, as years pass by,
I wonder more and more - '
If still that real good Injun standa
JtoiVHeid Maw suddenly, "