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IJIK DAILY OAIKO BULLLTIN; TUESDAY MORNING JUNK 24, 1834.
INNER NT K.
HE CITY NATIONAL 1!ANK.
Of 'airo, Illinoirt.
71 OHIO LEVEE.
a General Banking Fuiine.ss
Til W. UAI.I.IDAY
WTERI'KiSE SAVING HANK
EX : L I'M V EL V A S A V 1 N't i S HA K .
uiinercial Avenue an-1 Eighth SI reel
liUOSS. I'n-'.l. i.t.
S EI.lS, I'.isaier.
I', N rTf. V:.--j I'riVnt
T. K rth. As I rneft
Bros - I'a'ro ! WflU'i KM; Cr-
-r Nfif " i iVilii itu Wdif....
M Oi-t-rloh " I i'. O. I'a'.ier '
A. Ilu.i.-r " Ill.We.lr '
J. V. C!tn"iu, Cii!oi:'ii.,
V (iE.NEHA'. UASKIS'i Hi's 1 N i.sS K.
ixchtnic-! fold nl IimM. In'.ntt vi-I 'i
: Savings Department. I'olli-riio: it. tn'
baslneM promptly ait.-ii'V''1 u:
V ICO K E S S ! U S A I . C'AKDM.
J EORGE HAIUU-)0 I.tAUi, jI l).
UIYSIC1AX it SURGEON.
special attention paUlo the llomoi.pathic treat
nt of snrtjical diseases, and dresses of nomcu
iKr'ICK-on Mth street. oj-tt- tlje rout
ice. Cairo, 111.
)R. J. E. sTRONU,
129 CominerciAl Ave, Cairo, III.
WOH, EUJcTt'.O-V.U'Olt and MUDIt-'Al'ED
U ATI IS
A lady In atti-udnnce.
H. K W. WHITLOCK,
Jrrui-No. '. Commercial Averue, botweca
.M'.i nd Nln'h 8'reeu
G. PARSONS, M. D-,
OCULIST AND AUKIST.
OFFU'E-Clty Drug Store, Carboudale, III.
130 & 138 Com'l Ave.
have received A f'lll anil cotutileto line
ol new Fall and Winter
Cloaks), Dolmans, Notion, Etc.
A heavy stock of Body IlrilKeels, Taper
tries and In kirn in
A full slock of Oil Cloths, all sizes and prices
Glothing& Gents' Furnish'g Goods
A Pill and compete stock is now Deing
closed ont at great bnrxaius.
Oooda nt Bottom Prices!
LOUIS C. HERBERT,
(Successor to Cba. T. Xewlantl an!
Plumbei, Steam and Gas Fit
Commercial Ave , bet. Tenth anil Ele
venth hts ,
CAIRO. : : ILL,.
Drive Well Force nnd Uft Pumtm furnished and
put up. Ayent for the Celebrated
"BUCKEYE FORCE PUMP ',
tho best pump ever Invented. Now Gas Fixtures
lumlaned to order. U.d fixtures repairea ana
Mrjobbtng promptly attended to. 319-tf
' . TVT w
3!g A. z gS
Sfsl IN s 2 H
CIO m LIVERY. FEED and
Commercial Av , let. 8th & 9th Sts.
Good Turnouts at Reasonable Kates.
ItT I IruH boiirded imil woll u:n-(J
TKLhl'HONK NO. 133.
Ia. n. saivu.
CUBKilT 4. SNITU
Grand Central Store.
Ci I HO.
Patrick T. JIcAlpine,
M.-ido to Ordor.
Sth St.,bot. Ohio I.evee Jt Comini rcial Ave.
Jia'palriu!? neatly done at short notice.
EY YORK STORK,
WUOLIALE AND RETAIL.
I'lie Largest Variety Stock
IN TXIK CITY.
(iOODS SOLI) VERY CLOSE
NEW YORK STORE CO,
Jor, ::Le;.j'i'.l. stmi, )
' iri-... -re hi vjtiiii
Manufacturer and Dealer in
ith Sireei, tK-tweeti Com'l Ave. uud Levee.
CHOKE IWRINO A SPECIALTY
ALL. KINDS OP AMCXITION.
Safes lleoalred. Ail Kindf ol Keys Made.
W. bTRATTON. Cairo.
T. BIK1J. Mieiouri.
STHATTOX & BIItD,
N-. 'j Ohio Levee, Cairo, I'l.
(W Aitfcnts American Ic!er Co
I lie Henlar Cairo & Tadiicah Daily
IIKNIiY E. TAYLOH, Manter.
tiEOltUE JOUEs, Clerk.
eaves I'ducah forCiiro daily (Sundays except
d) at 8 a. in., and Mound City at 1 p. ra. Ketnrn
DK.leavet (jH'.ro at4p.m.: Mounl Citvat5p.m.
85 S.Clark St., Opp. Court House, CHICAGO.
A riini!nrirTndnto. r?-ThOIlt Snpclnllut
In the L'uite'l Static, whM UKK lixo KI'BIKSCC,
perfect netbod and pure incdii-iiie insuro H'EKHY
and permanent Cl'lir of a" i'rivalf. Chronin and
Norvou. Uiscaspn. Alfectionsof tbo lllood, Sikln,
Kidney, lthnlder, KriiiHliMia, I Ic-it, Old
Hore.. Nwi-llliii rthe4.laiul,Sortf Mniilh,
Throjil, Jlonei 1'ulii., p'Tinnnunily cured aud
eradicated from the system fur life.
UCDlf nilC JirhUitil. Tmpntrnrii.Snninal
N til 1 U U W Loxrn,'Sexi(iil Hrruy, Mt lltlll
and l'ltyaictil IVcalmrM, i-'iiiliurj Mniumj,
Weak r.yr, atttntcd Vcvclopn.ntt, ;((
tni'iito to Marriuap, etc., from CJtrrws or any
eaiiw, njimfiff, 8nfiy and priintily Cured.
j-Yoiiiii, lllildlf-ABrd and ll men, andal'r
who neeil medical U.I1I and exi'rl'n-, commit
Pr. Batn at onoo. Hih oiiinim co;n nntbinit, and may
save future misery and nhaiim. NN bfn inconvenient
tovi.il llio ci'y fur treatment, medii'ini-s can beaent
everywhere bv mail "t epre i'rve from obaer.
viit'ton. J-It ia self-evident that a physician who
gives bu wlmlo attention to a cla of deleaves t
tulna nrvul aklll.nnd pliysirinnHtbroucbout the
country, knowing t hi. i'rnrjuontlvrtcO!nmenddimcult
canes to the Olile.t Npe-clollil, by whom every
known good remedy is Hied. e"I)r. Hato
Aire and lxrrli-nee ninVn bis opinion of u.
premn tmiioi-iniic-f. a-Thnte who call SCO no
onotoit the llietor. t 'onoilt ationnfrfeandancredly
coollilentlul. ( 'mo. winch have failed tnobtaininir
relief elsewhere. rpeeillv solicited. Female Di
eaws treated. Call or write, llonr. from O to 4
6 to H Snuilavn. 1 to 14. CiUlUB 10 liKALl'U
SENT Fiiek. Addreiwaa above.
Caution to Farmers & Dealers
Vir Uiifntv In nrnrnrlfic vntir If U.
kI'OON UUitSK HAY P)hKS, select
only inoee naviiiK in1 n'tiii nu unrioi.
oi our tiiaijs 'iaiu, aim inereoy save
.i i, frl in,n,itt Fri'tM
r'.itu:oeiua ul vim! reliable information fumlsbed
free by rirs aim rrop".,
i. ,1. NKLMS COMPANY, I'lUslmnr, Pa.
Also, Mfca. Nellls' Mounted Floatluu Harrows,
Ajt'l Steels, O'm't'l Fenclnu, Koad UraJers, Ac.
w vxr js
If You Do!
If you want to sell anything,
II' you want to buy anything,
If you want toincrewo your luisinws,
If you want to hire anyone,
If you want u situation,
If you have a house to ri:nt,
If you want to rent & house,
Advertise in Tub Cairo Rlllktis.
The Illinois Central R. R. will, on Mon
day, Junu 2:5, sell Laud Exploring
Tickets to Independence, Kansas; Raster
Springe, Katm.; Florence, Kun., and Fre
donia, Kans., at one Lrst-class fare for the
round trip. Tickets good for forty days.
A. II. Hanson,
5t Oeu'l Pass. Agent.
For Rent or bale.;
A nice cottage, 8 rooms, good order, on
Walnut Street, opposite lUt'i Street School
House. Inquire of 0. M.Alden. lni
House For Rent.
Mts. L. E. Williamson oilers her Seventh
Street house fur rent. The house is in good
rt pitir, suitable for boarding heme. t
An End to Roue Scraping.
Edward Shepherd, of Harristnjig, III.,
says: "Having rectiived so much ueutfit
fn.m Ekctric flitters, I feel it my duty to
let suffering humanity know it. Have had a
running son; on my leg for eight years; my
doctors told me I would have to have the
hone scraped or leg amputated. I used,
instead, three bottles of Electric Ditters and
seven boxes Rucklen's Arnica Salve, ard
my leg is now sound and well."
Electric Hitters are sold at Cfty cents a
bottle, and Bucklen's Arnica Salve at 2)C
per box by Rare lay Bros. (5)
Legal Blanks Kept For Sale
at Tue Bulletin otfice.
Special Warranty DcbiIm,
Quit Claim Deeds,
Heal E-tate Mortgage,
Executions, Summons, Venire,
Garnishee Blanks, &c.
tfuckien's Arnica salve
The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
liruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and positively
cures Piles. It in guaranteed to give per
fect satisfaction, or money refunded. Price
cents ptr box. For sale by Barclay
A Startling Discovery,
Mr. Wm. Johnson, of Huron, Dak., writes
that his wife had been troubled with acute
Bronchitis for many jears, anl that all
remedies tried gave no permanent relief,
until he procured a bottle of Dr. King's
New Discovery fi r Consumption, Coughs,
and Colds, which had a magical effect, and
produced a permanent cure. It is guaran
teed to cure all Diseases of Throat, Lunge,
or Bronchial Tubes.
Trial B ttlca Free at Barclay Bros.' Drug
Store. Large S'ze $1.00. (."5)
Advice to Mothers.
Are you disturbed at night and lo-.ken
of your rest by a sick child suffering and
crying with pain of cutting teeth? If so,
send at once and get a bottle ot Mrs. Wins-
low's Soothing Syrup for Children Teeth-
inf'. Its value is incalculable. It win re
lieve the poor little sufferer immed
iately. Denend unon it. mothers, there is
no mistake about it. It cures dvaenterv ana
diarrhrea, regulates the stomach and bow
els, cures wind colic, eoftens the gums, re
duces inflammation, and gives tone and
energy to the whole system. Mrs. Wins-
low s soothing byrtip tor Children Teething
is pleasant to the taste, and is the prescrip
tion of one of the oldest and best female
nurses and nhvsicians in the United States.
and is for sale by all druggists throughout
the world. Price 3o cents a bottle.
A Fair Oiler.
The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich.
offer to send Dr, Dye's Voltaic Belt and
Applicances on trial, for thirty days, to
men, old or young, afflicted with nervous
Uebility, lost vitality and kindred troubles.
See advertisement in this paper. 2
Absolutely the beBt Porous Flaster ever
made. The Hop Plaster is composed of
Fresh Hnpsi, Balsams and Gums. Weak
Back, Side Ache, Sore Chest, and all pains
are speedily cured by its use. Apply one.
Only 2o cets. at any drug store. (3)
Cheap Homes in Arkansas ami Texas.
Along the line of the St. Louis, Iron
Mountain and Southern Railway, Texas and
Pacific Railway and International and
Great Northern Railroad, are thousands ot
acres of tiie choicest farming and grazing
lands in the world, ranging in price from
2.00 to' $300 and $-L00 per acre, in a
healthy country, with climato unsurpassed
for salubrity and comfort. Send your ad
dress to the undersigned for a copy of sta
tistics of crops raised in Arkansas and Texas,
In 1882, and makeup your mind to go and
see for yourself wheu you learn that the crop
for 1883 is SO per cent larger than that of
1882. To those purchasing lnnd owned by
the Company, and paying one-fourth, one
half, or all cah, a proportionate rebate is
allowed for money paid fortickcte or freight
over the Companies lines.
II. C. Town-send, Gen'l Pass. Agt.
St. Louis. Mo.
tU'MMKIt LAW I.ECrnRS(nlnn weekly) begin
loin July, ISM and end 10th September. Have
proved of signal ue, -lst, to students who design
to pursue their studies at this or other Law School ;
to those who propose to read privately ; and 3d,
to prartioners who have not had tho advantage (if
systematic Instruction. For circular address (P.O.
University ol Va.) to John B. Sllnor, 1 rt.f. Com,
aud Stat. Law. 2:1-1 m
WEAK, UHD EVELOPED C PARTS
OK TMKMl'MAN liOIy KNLAKUK1. UKVKI
OTKI), KlItllNU THKM-.D." Km.. inftn jnton'ihng
till ye rt iMMth-nt Inn,' run in nut I'Mht. " In it ply' tu'in'
VUKb'HU t Iiih. On l lio contrrtry, tliumlv.'rt i-its nr
1 MORPHINE HABIT
I H. H. II. KANK, of th IXjulnrer
llnm, now oil-ft ik Rmm1? wlirlf
tuy on (it fur blmwlf qulehlr and ptlnlvitly. For toil train
AUli and (n.lntftrmiMiti from nilttnt mollc! min.AciiiMniai
U 114 U.lKAiltt 1V IttlUM BU, RtW Irt tiij.
Tile Daily Uulletin.
The Proliibitiouints, in stesion at Chi
cago on the 20th, rinmin ited S. O. I'omeroy,
of Kansas, for President, and J. A. Conant,
of Connecticut, for Vice-President. The
aamepirty, assembled in Statu Convention
at Uloomington the day before, nominated
S. H. Hobbe, of Chicago, for Governor;
Dr. Ferryman, of Belleville, for Lieutenant
Governor; Halo JoliLson, of Jaxper, for
Attorney-General 'Uriah Capp, of Jasper,
for Treasurer; A. R. Irwin, of Sangamon,
for Auditor; C. W. Enos, of Jersey, for
Secretary of State.
A few nights ago, in accordance with
a previously agreed upon plan between
Chief Rearden and the police force, a num
ber of fellows were inn in, whose presence
in the city was believed to be prejudicial to
the safety of the community. Ed. Nichols
was one of them. He was simply ordered
to leave town; Juo. Rrasy is serving out
sixty dajs iu jail, aud two negroes, one of
whom ha ) a shot wound in one leg aud is
believed to be wanted at Memphis fur soino
deviltry, are also in jil. It is asuggestive
fact that there htveu't been any more petty
burglaries since this ''gang" was "nipped."
"A policeman a mayor a chief a'
poliss an' no monee!" ejaculated a couple
of wandering Arabs who "struck" this
town yesterday, possessed of nothing but a
cigar each and bundles of clothes that bore
strong evideuces of prolonged wear. They
had called upon all the officials named for
pecuminary aid to enable them to continue
on their journey East and had not met with
the hoped.for encouragement. They were
iu excellent physical condition, barring
dirt, and seemed to have arrived at that
state of mind where they considered it a
grevious insult to themselves, to be refused
a little spending money by any one whom
they might ask for it. They were a greasy
looking pair and their departure some time
during last night will be a relief.
Up iu Quebec
Mr. N.G. B iyer, Carillon, Quebec, Can
ada, writes that he suffered with a lame
back, and after tryiuy all other remedies
without effect, he finally tried St. Jacobs
Oil, the magical pain-conqueror, and was
Hfk Pint of the Finest Ink for families
or schools can be made from a 10c. package
of Diamond Dyes. Try them. .All drug
gists keep them. Wells, Richardson fc Co.,
Burlington, Vr. Sample Card, 32 colors,
sud book ot direction tor 2c. stamp.
Iljwever obstinate or severe your case
may be, Athlophoros will challenge rheu
inatism or neuralgia to combat, with the
certainty of bearing off the victory. Mr
David Little, of Sumner Benner County
Iowa, an old man of seventy-seven, who
suffered terribly for three years and eight
months and was obliged to walk wan a
crutch., took a dose of Athlophoros on Sun
day morning, and on Monday he rose and
dressed himself without assistance, aod sur
prised the family by walking into the
kitchen without the aid of a cano or a
crutch, and wishiug them a happy new
W. F. Lambdin, river editor ol Tbi Uullktik
and steamboat pasener agent. Orders for all
kinds of steamboat job printing solicited. Office
at lluwer's European Hotel. No. 7! Ohio levee.
STAGES OK TIIE IUVKK.
The river marked by the gauge at this
port at 0 p. ni. 23 feet 11 inches and fall
ing. Chattanooga, June 23. River 4 feet 8
inches and falling.
Cincinnati, June 23. River 12 ' feet 8
incites and tailing.
Louisville, June 23. River 7 feet 2
inches; and falling.
Nashville, June 23. River 7 ft 0 inch
es and falling.
Pittsburg, June 23. River 2 feet 3 in
ches and falling.
St Louis, June 23. River 20 ft 0 inch
es and rising.
The Buckeye State from Memphis arrived
here at 9 a. in. Sunday. She had 75,000
feet of lumber, received 13 cabin people
hero and departed for Cincinnati at 10:30
The Dexter arrived here Sunday just
time to get "Chicagoed" by the Buckeye
State, as tho State made a sweep of the
Duly six passenger trains leaving Cairo
daily for St. Louis.
Saturday night business atwharfboats
two or three was lively as the Hudson, the
Vint Shinkle, the Golden Rule and the
City of Cairo were all hero nearly at the
The Golden Rule had the best up stream
trip of the season for Cincinnati 800 tons
and a cabin full of people. Prove it by the
old, reliable Rob Jones, Big O Freight
The City of Providence passed down for
Vicksburg Saturday night with only a fair
The Montana sunk Sunday morning at
tho St. Charles bridge. Bnat total loss,
valued at $22,000; inMired at $15,000.
The John A. Scudder left lust night for
Now Orleans with a good trip.
Among the passengers of tho Gus Fowler
yesterday was a party of Puducah's young
ladies and gentlemen, who wero making the
round trip, Misses Lena McKnlght, Carrie
Relke, and Mattio and Bertio Fowler, ac
companied by Messrs. Given Fowler, Rliey
Boyd and Saunders Fowler.
The Ja?. W. Gaff to-morrow inoruiug for
Memphis. Heo W. F. Lamblin, Agent..
The Paris ('. Brown from Cincinnati is
duo heie tu-morrow evening fur N'ew Or
leans. Tho Vint Shinkle leaves Memphis this
evening for Cincinnati.
Ex-Chief Myers otlered to bet that it
would rain yesterday by 5:80 p. m. When
lie made the assertion that it would rain,
there was not a cloudto obscure the sky,
and not more than two hours previous to
the rain. Ho must have been in communi
cation with the weather clerk.
The City of Vicksburg from below passed
up for St. Louis last evening at 6 :30.
The J. II. Hillman from Nashville ar
rived here yesterday morning. She had a
light freight trip, but discharged a good
many passenger. Departed on her return
trip immediately after a while.
The Half was .Never ToM
of tho wonderful powers and virtues of
that best of all medicines, Kidney-Wort.
It has been ttied and proved. Its cures
are numberless and the record of (supposed)
incurable cases that have yielded to its in
fluence, is astounding. If you havo trouble
with your kidneys, liver or bowles, if you
suffer from constipation and piles, if you
are a victim of rheumatism or malaris,
take Kidney; Wort. You wiU And it the
remedy you need.
The "War 'funic."
A leading mechanical engineer, con
nected with the Hinckley Locomotive
works, of this city, is at work unon a
plan whie'h, wheu fully matured, may
i(tvohiiiuiii.o tho methods of luud light
in in war. Ho snys that ho has been,
nt work on his muchino for ten yours,
and that it is in tho form of a monster
Moid turtle, which is to crawl over tho
ground at a rapid speed. Its traction
will bo so great that it will bo ablo to
ascend steep hills, and even niako its
way through a bushy country, whilo
during its progress there could be eject
ed from the bowels of tho monster a
shower of shot from machine guns, that
would bring dismay to tho stoutest
hearts. io nnny could withstand its
destruction. Tho engiuerr says his
"war turtle" will be propelled by an
engine located in its interior, and will
b.i run on very largo and broad wheels,
with rubber tires. Tho machine will
be fed with petroleum from tanks. It's
hide, or shell, will bo of tho best tool
steel and of sufficient strength to resist
tho finest held artillery. Tho monster
will be steered by apparatus placed
in tho head, to bo controlled by two
pilots, who will bo sheltered from
."harpshuotcrs by a thick hood of steel.
In tiio tail of tho turtle will bo a lua
chiiio for throwing dynamite shells of
twenty- livo pounds each at the rate of
twenty a minute. Tho shells can bo
hurled with such force as to pass out
of tho range of tho turtlo Itself, and
their effect on au earthwork battery
would bo terrible.
The gentleman who proposes to con
struct Mich a machine appears to bo iu
the full possession of all his senses.
Tho First of flip Kind.
Talking about snakes' food, I once
heard a story told mo by a Spanish
teacher living in the city, which takes
the cake. Ho said that ono day whilo
hunting in Brazil his guide camo run
ning back and told tho party to bo
careful, for in front cf them was a
snake sixty feet in length. Tho snako
had just finished eating a deer, but
had been unablo to swallow tho horns,
and they wero sticking out of tho
snake's mouth. Tho gentleman said
it was a common thing in South
America for snakes to eat deer, and
when the antlers refused to go down
into the stomach tho snako would go
and lie in the sun and let the acid from
its stomach work on tho horns and dis
solve them. This monster snako was
very likely performing this act when
tho hunting party came on him. They
advanced cautiously and wero about to
lire when the snake sprang forward
and struck the guide- in tho breast with
tho stag's horns and crushed him into
a jolly. Before the snako could repeat
this playful littlo pastime a bullet from
one of the guns of the party killed him.
Ho was coiled up and carried by tho
party to tho nearest town and shipped
to Rio, whero he is still on exhibition;
tho antlers aro yet in his mouth, so tho
Spanish teacher told mo. Baltimore
Three for Six Shillings.
A Northern man who remains in a
Southern town over twenty-four hours
without encountering tho colored man
who is canvassing; for subscriptions to
erect a new church building may con
sider himself lucky. Thero is hardly a
neighborhood in which tho colored peo
ploliaven't nioro churches than they
can maintain, but tho work of canvass
ing novcr lets up for a day.
Ono day at Birmingham an old dar
koy dropped down upon half a dozen
of us at tue Nixon House and explained
that his church building had been
blown away by a cyclone. Wo chip
ped in a quarter apicco and sent him
off, but in tho afternoon ho overhauled
us down town and wanted as much
more. In tho evening, as wo reached
tho dopot, ho was thero with a third
"See here," said ono of tho givers,
"aren't you going it pretty strong?"
"Why, this is tho third tiuio you va
asked us to. chip in for that church
"Oh, no, no, sah! Do fust two bits
was fur do building, kaso wo want a
a placo to moot In. Do ncx' two was
to put in do winders an' benchos, an
dis las' will bo scrumpshusly used to
pay de preacher an' buy do hymn
looks." And next time you meet us you'll
want another quarter for something
'Zactly, sah. Wo ortcr have a bell
on dat bulldin' jist as soon as wo kin
raise de funds to buy itl 1'ze bin sort
o' axln' you wld a restin1 spoil between,
so as not to kick up. a flustrashun."
How Tho Pol Ho Tramp Worked It.
A tramp struck Detroit tho other day
who w ill grow rich when others of hu
class will freeze and starve. It has
long been a wonder that none of theso
rucu knew how to take human nature,
but here is a man at last. Ha was yes
terday working several Btreets la tha
northern part of the city. He mad
his call at tho front door. Selecting
his house, and when tho ring was an
swered, ho would remove his hat and
"Beg pardon, but is this place (or
"Ah! excuse me. 1 was told that it
was for sale, although I could not un
derstand why you should want to part
with such fino proporty. This is
ono of tho prettiest streots In Detroit."
"Yes, I think so."
"The air must bo sweet and pure
"How nico everything around your
house is kept up! Any stranger could
at onco seo that tho family had taste
and culture. Sorry the place is not for
"Did you wish to buy?"
"ot exactly, but I know a ffentle-
niau who is looking for just such a
pi act', and I volunteered to run about
a littlo for him. I presume you would
want at least $20,000?"
"Oh, my, no! my husband values the
placo at about $'J,000."
' Only $9,000! Beg, pardon, but I
hope he won't bo foolish enough to think
of selling it at that tigurc. He might
just as well get $16,000. I see that
your neighbors try to imitate your cur
tains. Ha! ha! Poor imitations!
That is a grand flower vase you have
there. I priced ono in New York tho
other day, and it was $600."
"1-e-s, sho replied, pleased and
"If I was an art connoisseur I should
liko to look over your new house.
very tning betokens that you nave
ruado art a study nnd traveled exten
sively iu Europe. By the way, I'll stop
to tho side entrauco lor a glass ol wat
er, and if tho girl can sparo a bit of
bread and meat 1 11 bo thankful. My
lonr walk has made mo taint Beauti
ful front view hero taste and culture
appareut even in the way this matting
is nailed down on tho steDS. Sorrv
your residence is not for sale, and I'll
just step to tho kitchen door."
lie not onlv got a square meal, but
sho hunted him up a coat, hat and a
Cair of hoots, and then felt sho was in
is debt. Ddroit Free tress.
The True Story of a Dude. "j
Tho more tho fair young dudo gazed
upon her the more he felt that In order
to complete his staturo ol manhood he
ho must know her. Her spirit and his
would hold sweet converso over tha
sparkling vintage of sunny France and
the succulent product of Blue Point.
Rat how could he manage it? Fortune
favors the brave, and iu this matter the
fair young dudo had sworn to do or
die. Ho became acquainted with a ge
nial young usher. He exerted his ener
gies, such as they were, to win that
usher's friendship. Ho fed him on milk
and honey until bis heart was won.
Then he coulided to that usher the story
of his passion.
"Aw, yas, deali boj" ho said, "I'm
awfully gone, you know, quito too aw
fullv. Cahrt't .sleep ahfter 10 o'clock fa
mawning. Cahn't cat a wholo roll for
bweakfast. I hveadf ul feeling of heav
iness heah (nutting his hand on bo
som). Must know her somehow. Cahn't
you intwoduco me?"
"What, introduce you to Miss Mount
morris. Well, I should blush to mur
"Know her long?"
"Oh you bet. Come around to the
stage door after the show."
lie went. His heart beat madly
that is, as madly as it could while ho
awaited tho coming of tho radiant vis
ion. Several young ladies passed out.
Sho did not come. . Still ho awaited.
Presently he saw his friend tho usher
coming out with his arm around a lady.
Sho was not young. Indsed it would
havo been flattery to call her thirty.
Sho was not fair. It would have been
base fabrication to call hor even pleas
ant looking, No, that was not she.
Nevertheless, tho lady and the usher
approached the fair young dude. '
"Hero you aret old boy," said tha
ushor, "allow mo to present you to ny
And they carried the dudo away;
yoa, even unto tho con linos of Wil
liamsburg. And thoy buriod him un
der a grape leaf. And no man know
cth his grave even until this day.
And no man wants to. New York
ii i ""i
The Pencil Thief.
Thore is no moaner thief than tha
load-pencil thief. Ho takes rank be
low the umbrella snatchor. He never
has a pencil, in sight He asks for
yours, "just a minute," to sign a tele
graph book, address a card, and then
with a business-like air sticks it Into
his pocket, knowing that nine times
out of ten you will never think of the
pencil until you want to uso it yourself,
and then ho will bo far away, playing
his game on some one elso. They are
shameless fellows, proud of their petty
thieving. They throw back their coatst
to show you tho spoils nestling In a
in a vest pocket, and thoy tell you
from whom they stole each pencil. Wo
lost tho last pencil we had in this world,
not ten minutes ago, by the hands of
a pencil thief. A man who makes a
business of stealing pencils ought to
be burned at the stake, boiled in oil.
beheaded at the block, hung, drawn
and quartered, and burled without be
nefit of clergy, at tho solemn hour of
midnight, in'tho dark of the moon, at
a lonely place in an awful forest where
two roads moet, with a lead pencil
thrust through his heart. Here we are,
robbed by a soulless villain, not a lead
pencil to our back, and it may be half
a day beforo we meet a man from
whoso confiding hands we can lift a
pencil to make good the ono we lost
Wo played poor old Professor Sayitslow
for that one; he Is so absent-minded
anybody can get away with his lead
pencil, but, then, he s out of town.
The stars in their courses seem to ba
fighting against us to-day. A plagua
on aU pencil thiovos, still we lay.