Newspaper Page Text
D II SPH SUMMER RESORT
OPEN JUNE I TO OCTOBER J.
TliUiMS: 88.00 per week. Special Hates to
lumilics on .Application.
ANAL SIS OF ONE GALLON OF WATER.
SPUING NO. 1 . i SI? KINO NO. SPUING NO. '.).
Carb of Iron
Chloiide of Iron. . .
Sulphate of Iron..,
Chloride of Sodium
Sulphate May ni-aiii.
. traci-iSulphate of Iron i'i.'i
. tracCarboimte of Irou ... 2j.1
. .i'.i.O Alkalies 11.(5
. 01.0 jSulphate of Alumina. . 1)0.7
. -17.0 Su!phateof Magnesia.. It.
. 00. (J IChlutide of Sodium ul.l
12.0 !Clilorido of Calcium..
E. A. BURNETT,
is prepared to do .lob Priutiiiir of every description from a
Dotlier to a Tln-ee-SIicet Tostor on the shortest notice and
in the best style, and at the lowest possible prices. Call
and get his prices.
OFFICK:-Xo. 71! Ohio
------ r TT ". " Tt
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. H j
Shortest and Quickest Route:
St. Louis mid Chicago.
The Onlv Lino Kmiumir
9 DAILY TRAIN
M A KINO DlliKCT CoNNKCTIO.N
Thai Liii Cunto:
:j !JiJ it in. Mhil.
Arriving in St I.otiie 9 o) .ic ; rtiicasro, S:-jfi p.iu., '
rpntn -liutf hi Odin arid KiEnfrnain (or t'lniiu !
nail. Loai-viUc, iodianapo!:" anil imii.ta Kxri. j
P "i- Fit St. I.ouIh iinil '
W'fMt.'tll K pl-fSH. j
Arriving iL Si I.onls J:j p. m., un t conu'-cttii !
(or a)i points We:. .
:$:-4"j . m. n t l ".x prt'HH. I
IVr St. I.ou !m an'! Chlratf.i. arriving at t . Lou; -
l':15 p. m , and Chicago 7:-J" a. m.
.'t:-4." i.m C'im-imiati Kxprcn. j
Arriving at C!n mnati 7:iO a.m.: l.ou:v:.!
a. m ; linlim.apo.li 4:f a. ui. IVtlk. r by j
tliln train ri-a'ti the abeve loinls 1 U to ,'iij .
UOU1.S in advance' of any :j r ruuic. !
tPTh :',:) a. m. ii'iri-s.' ha rt'l.l.MAN
SOhK('l.l l.'Alt from l airn to I iii Iriimij, !! :i
out changes, and through, l.'f;u-rn to M. Louis
au l t'tiicao.
Fast 'l iine Jast.
PWPllir4i' ,,T tobroiit!i to Hat.
1 a.it. ll-,i l r en, pitnf without any deiav
Caufed by Snnln iritervi-niti. The Saturday alter
notiD tralu from i 'airo arrives iu new York Monday
norniwc at in Thirty-fix ho.irsiu advanceo!
C other route,
iW'FuT thronch tickets at.d fartht-r informatlcu
apply at lilliiOiB I ciitral llallroau Depot, ( airo.
.1. H. JONKS, Tirrt A.'ei t i
A . II . HANSON, (ten. I'km . Aeer t. Chk eo I
1!. K. TIME CAUIJAT CAIKO.
ILLINOIS t ENTIiAL K. K.
Trains deya-t. Triiius i
i arr ve.
tMail ,....;! I a.rt . I tMall I:i :. a.
Kxprri :j:4."ip. m. tKprrMi 11 : 4 " a.
JSt Louis Kx 1J;-.'j p. in. St l.oiii.j Kx -.,:l."i p.
c. n. it (NjutliL'rn 1 Mvisii.n i
.lo: til a.m.
. :! Ij p. m.
N O. Kx
II : in h
. .i.M p.
IN. I). l-X...
N. l. Kv...
M. H. K.
fT. I.. & I
tExpri-i-a 10::)()p.m. I Lirei'! 2:''0p.
St L. Mail... 7:4 p.m. rst. L. Mall. ..:: a.
St. L. hi :. a. in j t-t. L. Kx. ...-jM) p.
W., !-T. I.. A V. II. It.
Mall A Ex 4:i0a.m. I 'Mail & Ex...!l :Wp.
Accom 4:lp.m. "Aecim il::;na.
Freight :4. a.m. Freinht ti lj p.
MOBILE OHIO It. K.
Mail SK'ia.m. Mull 9:10 p. m
Dally excel't Sunday, t Dailv.
AHKIVAL AND DKI'AKTL'KE OI' MAILS.
Arr at I Flcp'rt
1'. o. f'm I'C
I. C H. H (It.rotiu'b lock mail). f a. m
' ' ..il:-,ea in :i p. m.
(way mail) 4 '3" p.m. Hp. m.
" (Southern Div . p. m. Up. in,
Iron Mountain K. 1! -.':;l"p.m. 9 p. m
Wabash It. H In p. m. p. in.
TxasSt. Louis It. K 7 p. in. B a. ni.
St. Louis & Cairo K. It 5 p. m. HMO am
Ohio Kivcr i p. m. 4 p. in
Miss Liver arrives Wed., Sat. & Mou.
" doparts Wed.. Kri. 4 Sun.
1' O. gen del. op n from 7:30 am to7:'!0 pm
P.O. box del. open Irom 8 a.m. to Hp. in.
Sundays eec. del. open trom....tla. in. lo Ida. ni.
Sundays Imx del. open from liu. m. to 10:30 am
tWNOTK. -L'ban' s will ho published irom
tlniu to lltu'i In city papers. Chansiu your cards ac
cordiuKly. WM. M. MUKi'llY. P. M
Mrs. Jinily Bowers,
Mrs. AMANDA CLAUKSON, Agent.
Nxt Ali'xanaer Co. Urmlc, wthSt.
iTOootl Stock and Prices lieasoniiblo.SFl
FLOUR, GRAIN AND HAY
ditrhost Cash Price Paid for Wheat.
Oxide of I roti 12.1
Oxide of Aluminum... 01 5
Sulphhate of Magnesia 17.8
Carbonic Acid Gus.... 17.8
Suloli. Hydro. Gas 10. -i
18.4 'Alkalies 05.4
IjIOM EN, Lessee,
Alien Sii inyfs, Pope Co., Ills.
Levee, CAIRO, ILLS.
QKORGE if ARRJ SON LEACH, M. I).
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON.
S'Mtiul nt tutitiou pui'lto the Ilnruvopulhlc tn-at-m
hi ut nr'ii al discus'-a, and uifu-'cs of women
I'KHi'K-un llth street, opposite tlic I'o-t
ifl'.tf, Cairo, iil.
JjR. J. K. STRONG,
Commercial Ave-, Cairo, 111.
v. MOIL KLiiCiUO-VAI'OK aku IIEDK'ATKD
A aily in attendance
K W. WHITLOCK,
urnei-No. Cotnmiirml Avenue, b'.-twtcrj
iiftij itid Ninth S'reeta
J O. PARSONS, M. I).,
OCULIST AND AURIST.
OFKK'E- Ity Dm 4 r, CrbonUa'., 111.
rpli: CI1 V NATIONAL JJANK.
'.)!"( 'niro, Illinois.
71 OHIO LEVEE.
CAPITAL. SI OO.OOO!
A (H'licral Hankiii? i!nsiiu'ss
Tit U. UAI.L1UAV
JNTEUeiJiSE SAVING DANK.
KXCLUS1VELY A SAVINGS HA.MC.
ill OS. W.UAl.LIUAS',
1 DiDiiii i'tiiil Avtnuo ami Rihtli Slrett
F. HltOSS. President. I P. NftFF, 'We Pres'nt
li. Wlil.LS, I'.is'uii-r. I T. J. Uerth, Ass't canil
1 Jir.'ft -rn:
F. Pros Cn'ro I William I1;ilo. .Cairo
I'elerNetr William Wolf.... '
('. M (isterloh " 10. (i Patier "
li.A.Uuder " II. Wells '
J. V. Clemson, Caledonia.;
A liEXE'iAl, IIANKINU IlfSINSbS DONE.
Exchangi; ?old and bounht. Interest palit it
the Saving Dcpnrtmuiit. Colleclioiis ma'le ami
all business promptly attended to.
IXSI KAM r.
" M 1-1
(Ml UP BULLETIN; THURSDAY MORNING JULY
The use ot usolinc, in nny I'm in, upon
premises v. here the liuiWiny or its cotitt nts
aieeovereil by insuiunce, forfeits the insur
ance unless a permit is procure'! from the
company or agent who is.-ued the policy.
II. II. Candke.
Wells & Klutu.
CU.NMNdUAM ii VOCL'M.
1'" M. J. HoWLKV.
'I lioiisiiinl-i Say So.
Mr. T. W. Atkins, Giranl, Kan., writes.
"I n;ver hesitate to recommend your Elec
tric Hitters to my customers, tney f;ive en
tire satisfaction ami are raphl sellers."
Electiic Uitlirs are thu purest and hist
medicine known, and will positively cure
Kidney and Liver complaints. Purify the
Wood and reulat the bowels. No family
can hll'ild to be without theiu. Tliey will
save hundreds of dollnrs in doitors' bills
every year. Sold ut fifty cmts a Initio by
liuicby Drop. (.J)
If Vou Do!
Ifjou want to sell anything,
If you want to buy auythino-,
If you want to meiease your business,
If you want to hire anyone,
If you want a situation,
If you have a house to rent,
If you want to rent a house,
Advertise in Tim Caiko IJuLi.tTix.
UucKien h Aruica salve
The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and positively
cures Tiles. It ia guaranteed to yivo per
fect satisfaction, or money refunded. Price
Jo cents per box. For sale by Barclay
Lcal Blanks Kept ior Sale
at The Bulletin office.
Special Warranty Deeds,
Quit Claim Deeds.
Real Estate Murt'ie,
Executions. Summons, Venire,
fiarnis.hee Blanks, &c.
A Walkicir skeli'tmi.
Mr. E. Springer, of Mechniicaburi;, Pa.,
writes: "I was Hll':cteil with luuy; lever
and absciss on lung's, and reduced to a
walking skeleton. Got a free trial bottle
of Dr. Kind's New Discovery for Con
sumption, which did me so much good
that I bought a dollar buttle. Alter using
three buttles, found mi self ojee more a
man, completely restored to health, with a
hearty appetite, and a ain i'i tlesh of 48
lbs." Call at Barclay Bn s.' drug store and
get a free trial bottle of this certain cure
t"r all Lung Diseases. Large Dottles f 1.00.
Hieir Nam is Legion.
Legions of people have had their lives
made miserable by Piles. This painful
difficulty is otten induced ami always agg
ravated by Constipation. Kidney. Wort Is
the grout remedy for all affections of this
kind. It acts as a gentle cathartic, prom:
otes a healthy action of the bowels, anil soo
thes and heals the inflamed surfaces. It
has cured hundreds of cases where all other
remedies and applications have failed. Sold
by nil druggists.
A Fair Oiler.
The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich,
offer to send Dr, Dye's Voltaic Belt and
Applicatiees on trial, for thirty days, to
men, oil or younir, afflicted with nervous
debility, lost vitality and kindred troubles.
See advertisement hi this paper. 2
The torments of rheumatism and neural
gia have rendered burdensome the lives of
thousands of persons surrounded by every
thing that could conduce to their happiness.
Athlophoros, the great specific for these
twin diseases, comes to crown the work, and
to hear the glad tidings that the distressing
complaints can be permanently cured. Rev.
C. D. Diggs, of Trenton, Ky., writes that
his wife who had net been able to go any
where f r three years, tried this great rem
edy ami now she is ''sound as a dollir."
In the II' p Porous Plaster the virtues of
Fresh Hops are combined with strengthen
ing and simulating balsams, and its cures
of Weak Back, Pain in the Side, Rheuma
tism, and Neuralgia or Pain in the Chest
are simply marvelous, it being more tllica
cious and thorough than any liniment or
liquid remedies. You'll say so after using.
irtTitted out for the Season. Dresses,
clonks, coats, stockings and all garments can
be colored successfully with the Diamond
Dyes. Fashionable colors. Only 10c. at
druggist-.. Wells, Richardson ifc Co., Bur
Cheap Homes in Arkansas an 1 Texas
Ahmg the lire of the St. Louis, Iron
Mountain and Southern Railway, Texas and
Pacilic Railway and International and
Great Northern Railroad, arc thousands ot
acres of tiie choicest farming and grazing
lands in the world, ranging in price from
?2.00 to $:J0O and $1.00 per acre, in a
healthy country, witlr climate unsurpassed
for salubrity and comfort. Send your ad
dress to the undersigned for a copy of sta
tistics of crops raised in Arkansas and Texas,
in 1882, and make up your mind to go ami
see for yourself when you learn that the crop
for 1881! is 50 per cent larger than that of
1882. To those purchasing land owned by
the Company, and paying one-fourth, one
half, or all cash, a proportionate rebate is
allowed for money paid for tickets or freight
over the Companies lines.
II. C. Towxsend, Gen'l Pass. Agt.
St. Louis, Mo.
ClIKSTElt. 2:W yi-ar open September 10. A
Military ColUip! with University Powers Depart
Oiunls tr. l lvii K.DiliH'iTiiiL, Chemistry Clasalcs
and Enullfh. Circulars of Capt-. V . P. Hiliiday
amlN. It. Tlnstlewood, and of Mcssrn P. W. Bar
clay, Charles UalliuiiiT nnd H. II. Cnnniuiiliam, of
this city, or of COL. TUKO. HYATT, Picsideut.
OK 'I UK HUMAN HOMY KMjAKUKI). DKVKIr?
UTM, M KI:Ni; THEM''.!." V,ut iwnn "inttn'H)in
fttlytTt if in .int ii'hK run in in it iit ii " In n-jily t in-
iiiiirn-i wo will Ktv IhuriTTT'tToTvTiriKi' uf limn-'
tnif nliniiM h iTUi7nitMnt rary. t he ml vert isi-nt urn
Very hiclily i'i.lMrM'iL Iutrri-nti'1 r-iT-min niav-K',fc
FtMli'il I'lrciihirt kfi ii'L' all n;irt uuilurw lv ml
Tho Daily Bulletin.
okhital papei: ok ai.exaxdkh coi ntv
KNTEKEU AT TUB CAIHO POHTOFVfCK KOH
VHANSMISSION TIIKOUDUTHB MAILS AT
SKI ONli CLASS HATES.
I.thies ol" .Join iiiilisin.
Mi'. M LamhUn, of Philadelohia,
said to l lath: -I think tho national
convention at Chicago was belter re
lorted throughout tho American pres
than any convention we have ever had.
'ihe newspaper profession has acquired
more self-n-speet. That is tho lir.it
t iing u be looked to about tho press.
A man came in hero yesterday and
wanted me to take 10 worth of tick
ets for his henelit, the door-keeper of a
theater. Said I: 'I don't iptito seo why
I should eonlril ute f 10 to you.' Ho
replied that he had been very kind to
the 'hoys.' 'Nuw,' said I to tho door
keeper, if you will turn every ono of
our 'boys' oil when they want to go in
Lee, 1 will eiigauo to g'ivo you at
your next henelit, and I will givo that
to each of the theaters in this city.'
Along in the night if tho news is a lit
tie dull it is tho habit of theso news
paper men to sally out and look first
at this theater and then take hi an act
of that, and half tho timo wo cannot
lay our hands on them if something
happens. Newspaper employes ought
to be wi-ll-di-.-s-ed men," said Mr. Mc
Laughlin, "and above accepting theso
favors. Wo want every man around
us to feel that he is a gentleman, and
that his privileges in communicating
with the public are of a very excep
tional kind, and ought to givehini high
responsibility us a citizen." Said I:
"Your Philadelphia papers aro better
than they formerly were?" "Yes,"
said he, "and it has been discovered
that the success of a new paper docs
not super-edo another successful one.
The people read in proportion to tho
variety of the talent you set beforo
them. If you make three good news
papers where only ono was good, a
largo portion of "the peoplo take all
three. Merely political stipendiaries
have no longer any standing in our
journalism. UnC of tho best editors
we ever had thought it was an honor
to go to WasLhigtwu and be a secretary
of the senate or something of that
kind. With unexampled opportunities
to bo the foremost citizen of his own
H'ate, he considered that thoio littlo
cilices digu'uied him. A different feel
ing has coiiie over the press. AH tho
eomiitions of journalism have changed.
The time was when a man wrote an
editorial article by referring to what
happened in the first year of the Chris
tian era. Now tho blue pencil wipes
out all that unnecessary verbiage."
"How much does tho Philadelphia
L:J::r make?" I asked. "Over $ 100,
O'jO a year. We have four or live morn
ing papers here which aro ia a very
substantial condition. Tho afternoon
press is not so prosperous. Tho Tclc
yr w-i makes a respectable sum of
money, and its older contemporary
makes a living for its owners."
Getting a Pass of Dean Richmond.
"I've a story about Dean Richmond,"
said a railroad man to a j!vlc-Ltno-crat
reporter tho otlur day, "that I
know is true, because I was then'. I
have never seen it in print, but I think
it is as good a ono as was ever told on
the old man. It happened up in Ne.v
York in let mo see '6ii, I believe.
Dean Richmond had an ollieo in Buffalo
then, in a little seven-by-uine buildinir,
that ho held sole possession of. Well,
ono day while tho old man was scrib
bling away you know he wrote a hand
in comparison with which Horaeo
Greeley's writing was liko print a fel
low that had a lot of shingles piled up
at a station fifty or sixty miles down
tho Central walked in. Dean looked
up and asked:
" 'What d'yo want?'
" Tvo got some shingles down hero
I want to sell you.'
" 'Well; you go back home and when
I want 'em I'll send for 'em,' and the
old man commenced scribbling again.
"About threo months afterward the
shinglo man wanted to go to Albany
for something or other, and wroto to
Richmond asking for a pass. In a day
or two ho got a letter about eight words
long, written on plain nolo paper and
signed 'Dean Richmond.' Thero was
not a man in tho town that could make
out any of it except tho signature, but
tho shinglo speculator supposed it was
Dean's way of making out a pass, so
ho took tho train for Albany and pre
sented it to tho conductor, who glanced
at it, said 'AH right,' and handed it
back to him. Well, sir, ho traveled for
weeks on that pieco of paper, until ono
day ho landed in Buffalo again. Pass
ing Richmond's oflico ho thought ho
would drop in a moment and thank
tho old man for his courtesy. Ho said:
'Mr. Richmond, I am vory much
obliged to you for that pass.'
" 'What pass?' was tho gruff re
sponse. " 'Why, that pass you scut mo a
mouth or two ago.'
" 'I didn't send vou no pass.'
'Yes, you did; hero it is,' said
shinglo man, producing tho paper.
"Old Dean took it, studied over
minute, got purplo in tho face, and
shouted in a voico trembling with
anger: 'Why, you fool, you,
that ain't no "pass.' And then, shaking
it in his visitor's face, ho pointed at it
and added, with a yell: 'That says:
"Why In h 1 don't you send them
shingles? Dean Richmond." D'yo un
derstand that, you 'idiot?'
"Tho shinglo man beat a hasty retreat
and it took tho old man a weok to cool
down." tit. Louis Uhbc-Danocral.
At Sing Sing, Professor Gorton, a
school Principal, severely whipped a
boy because ho could not sing. Tho
hoy then sang, but not tho right tunc.
Tho angry father of tho boy is now try
ing to make tho professor sinpr in
court. A musical authority says thero
aro boys whoso norvos cannot stand
hearing their own voico in singing, aud
who cauuot bo mndo to siug. It is
seldom tho case with girls, but with
boys is of frequent occurrence.
Mr T. II. Wheoier. diuggist.Bingliamtor,
N. Y., says lie has sold a largo quantUy of
St. Jacobs Oil, the Great German Remedy
and thinks it is tbo best euro for rheuma
tism ho ever Hold. 00 cents a bottle
About M in. Ilonaiua fair.
For several months past the toii-ues
of the gossip-mongers have been busy
with tho intentions 0f Mrs. Theresa
Fair. Her divorce, her wealth, and
comparative youth havo united to make
her namo a choice morsel tot tho idle
or tho envious to roll under their
tongues. It has been said that who is
about to bo reunited to her husband,
and to this conimendablo end Arch
bishop Riordan lias been credited with
using his endeavors. On tho other
hand, rumor has had it and the report
comes back to this city in tho form of
a telegraph dispatch that Mrs. Fair is
about to give her hand to a gentleman
of tho San Francisco press, tho tele
gram adding that "it is understood
that Mrs. Fair has gone to Rome to
procure from tho popo a dispensation
to enable her to marry." The "-entle-nian
referred to is Mr. Pickering's so
ciety editor, who is now in Canada,
tho strange part of thu affair being that
Mr. Fair, Mrs. Fair, and tho gentle
man referred to all went east about the
same time. Tho rumor, however, is
said by those most iu Mrs. Fair's con
lidcnco to be a pure fabrication, and a
personal friend of tho society editor
confirms this denial so far as his knowl
edge extends. In explanation of tho
acquaintance of Mrs. Fair and tho gen
tleman whose name is associated with
hers, it is said that at Santa Cruz, last
year, ho tardily rescued her child from
being run over on tho beach. Since
then she has shown him much consid
eration, even goiug so far, it is added,
as to endeavor to 'form a matrimonial
alliance for him with a wealthy young
lady of this city. Others have seen in
this friendship evidences of a more
tender affection, which has given rise
to tho telegraphed report of tho intend
ed marriage. Whatever tho truth may
be, tho society editor and tho million
aire society leader might do much
worse than to enter together tho nup
tial state, while a largo portion of tho
public of San Francisco would welcome
tho reconciliation of Senator aud Mrs.
Fair, an eveut which does not seem im
probable, as each lias an esteem and
an affection for tho other, strengthened
by their mutual attachment for their
children. tian Francisco t'ltronidc.
Industries of Cities.
The regret is often repeated in rural
circles, says tho last monthly report of
tho department of agriculture, that
boys will leave tho farm for city We.
It has been shown heretofore that tho
proportion of farmers is slowly de
creasing, and that this is for tho best
jrood of agriculture. It has, at tho
same time, been shown that tho supply
of farm products is increasing by uso
of labor-saving implements and (it is
hoped) by better cultivation. Then
there is no need of regret that all sons
of farmers should not elect to bo farm
ers themselves. Somo have inventive
genius nnd a taste for mechanical pur
suits; some manifest a penchant for
trade, and others a pu-feivnco for pro
fessions. A distribution according to
natural bent and innato aptitudes will
lead to better results, and leave fewer
poor farmers to occupy a position for
which t lie y have neither taste nor quali
fication". An examination of tho busi
ness of cities show s that they are occu
pied fur other purposes than speculation
and petty swindling, however severely
they may be cursed by the presence of
those who prey upon honest industry.
In fifty cities of largest population
there were nearly 8,0o0,0o0 peoplo in
lo. Ot these oi 100,000 or more were
"workers," in addition to tho wives
and older daughters who were house
keepers, aud tho children, tho aged,
and infirm. It may bo supposed that
most of theso workers were in com
merce or transportation in theso fifty
great "marts of trade." By no means
for tho larger proportion aro artisans
and operatives connected with tho
great manufacturing class. New York
itself has 12 per cent directly engaged
as artificers, and but 27 per cent in
trade aud transportation together, and
tho annual value of the products is tho
princely sum of $172,!J2o-l.'7. Instead
of handling a few hundred millions in
foreign goods, they mako an equal
value of doniesiio goods, a large pro
portion of which is labor. So wo liud
iu theso lifty cities an average of 43
per cent in manufactures, 1 per cent in
agriculture, and 21 per cent in trade
and transportation. As tho remainder
aro in domestic service, distributed
among these classes but not enumer
ated with them, aud professional peo
ple dependent upon all these classes,
it appears that fully six-tenths of tho
population of these cities are supported
by manufacturing production: i.e., livo
millions of a population of less than
eiiilit derives their incomes from tho
productive industries. Thus tho great
cities of tho country aro not so much
"marts of trade as "centers of in
dustry." ' y . - mm
MeisMiniei-'s Waggish Gai-denei'.
Meissonier had a gardener who was a
good botanist and a great wag. He
knew the seeds of all sorts of plants,
and Meissonier was always trying and
ilwayj failing to puzzle him.
"1 have got him now," said Meis
sonier lo some menus iu a iiinner
partv, and he showed them a package
of ihe roo of dried herrings. Then ho
sent for the gardener. All the guests
smiled. The gardener arrived.
"Do you know tho seeds?" Meis
The gardener examined them with
great at ten! ion.
' () ves," said he at last, "that is tho
seed of tho polpus fluxitnas a very rare
"How long will it tako tho seed to
come upr no nskeii.
"Fifteen days," said tho gardener.
At the end of the fifteen days tho
guests were oneo more at table. After
dinner the gardener was announced.
"M. Meissonier," ho said, "tho
plants are above tho ground."
"OH, tins is a uuio too union, sain
tho irreat paiater, and all went out into
tho garden to behold the botanical
The gardener lifted up a glass bell,
under which was u littlo bed carefully
made, and iu which threo rows of red
herrings were slicking up their heads.
The laugh was against Meissonier. Ho
discharged tho gardener, but took 'jiui
back next day.
renbody liulliimrall Wins a Medal-
"Am de lluu. peabody liottomfall in
do hall dis eavetsin'?" blandly inquired
Brother Gardner as tho meeting open
ed. He was. lie came forward with an
expression of humility covering him
liko a blanket, and when ho had taken
his station beforo the desk the president
"Brudth-r Bottomfa!!, I nm about to
present you, on behalf of our organiza
tion, wid a silver medal. You am do
fust an' only member of de Limo Kiln
Club eber reeeivin' sieh a gift, an' somo
cxplana-ihuns may bo in order. You
has bin a member fur do las' threo
y'ars, an' your conduct iu an' out of
Paradise Hall has been sieh as to call
fur coiiitaiit praise. Wo who havo
watched you de closest hev ohsarved
"What you. lacked in flower-pots in
do front yard has been made good by a
big crop of cabbage in do back garden.
"Your lack of eddecashuu has bin
made good by your industry.
"Whar' your integrity has caused
you to hunt up do owner of a lost dollar
bill your luck has made you a two
dollar friend ebery time.
"You hev carried no motto on your
back fur do world to read, but your
pew rent has alius bin paid in advance,
an' your cupboard aro neber empty.
"You has not demanded to bo sent
to do Legislachur' as a member, but
your nayborhood respecks you an'
co'ner grocers smile to seo you walk
"Your prayers hev not prevented
your waybill's from goin' to sleep, but
mo'dan ono of 'cm would depend on
your kindness iu case of misfortune.
"Your voice has not bin heard from
tho stump or rosturiu, but your hull
family w'ars woolen undershirts doorin'
do winter, an' has ico cream ebery
third Sunday iu do summer.
"You hev writ no poetry, but when
you sign your name to a note it's as
solid as a rock.
"Brudder Botlomf-'ll, wo am all of
us pleased to obsarvo deso praiseful
traits in your eberday character, an'
iu presentin' you dis medal wo assure
you of great esteem an' continued
Tho member was completely sur
prised, aud so great was his embarass- ;
ment after receiving tho medal that ho
walked over to tho water pail and
would havo sat down in it had not
Elder Dawson barked his shlu with a
vigorous kick. Detroit Free 1'rcsn. t ;i
Courtship in California.
A story from Haywards, Alameda
county, where romances flourish liko
the bay, recites that Peter Mussen is a
chicken-peddler, aud that ho loved tho
Widow Wrider, who lives on tho '
mountain road, not far from Haywards.
She is a buxom dame of 2G years, and
tho peddler courted her bravely, but
she w ould and sho would not, until tho
amorous chicken merchant nearly wont '
out of his mind, such as it is. llo did I
the next best thing, and sought the lair j
of a San Francisco clairvoyant. As
may be readily believed, tho prophet
ess was ready enough with a solution
of the il.ffieulty. Her declaration was !
that Mrs. Wilder was desperately in j
love with a man with sido-whiskers.
Mussen's cheeks aro as baro as a
pumpkin, so ho borrowed a side-whisk- -j
ered mask and a shot-gun, and skulked
down by tho widow s houso ono Sunday
evening recently. He listened outsido
tho door, and when ho heard Mrs.
Wrider tell her children to go to bed,
ho smashed in threo windows and then
broke open tho door. Then he fired a
charge of buck-shot through tho ceil
ing and departed, leaving his mask be
hind him. His intention was to per
sonate the supposed side-whiskered
object of tho widow's allectious in or
der to disgust her with her hypothetic
ally hairy-faced lover. He was arrested
anil tried beforo Justice Austin, at
Haywards, and on his trial he sworo
that Mrs. Wrider had given him a
powder in his tea somo time before ho
adopted his novel moans of cutting out
his hated rival, lie was sent to tho
county jail for six months. Mrs. Wrider
denies that sho ever gave him any
powder. tiuu Francitco fall.
Not a (JucMion of Location.
Well, I took Mrs. Arp down in tho
lowiand wheat this evening, whero it is
thick and green aud tall, and 1 ex
plained to her all about wheat being
lirst in the boot aud then in the milk
and then in the dough, and as wo
walked along in a water furrow I said
that it reminded me of tho old song of
"Coming Through tho Rye," that I
would change it a littlo and say:
If a body meet it body coming through tho
Ami a body kiss a body wouldn't it be Bwoct?
And sho smiled and said tho rye of
the poet was not a field, but a rocky
branch named Rye, and tho lassio was
wading tlirough it when her lover mot
her on tho rocks aud kissed her. So
that knocked all tho poetry out of tho
situation and I said no moro on tho
subject, but I've seen tho day when
the wiieat field would have beeu as
good a place- for the business as a
branch, aud if anything better.
Miss Anna Laurens Dawes, a daugh
ter of Senator Dawes, advocates a Jew
ish state in Palestine. Sho praises tho
intellectuality of the people, ami sho
finds that in statecraft tho Jew has
done brilliant things. "The timo is
but just gone by," sho says, "when
the leader of the Liberal party iu Gor
inany was a Jew, the leader of the Re
publican party iu Frauce was a Jew,
and the Prime Minister of Eugland
was a Jew.
Do You Want to Buy a Fine
Silver Plated Casteu, !
Silver Plated Buttkk Disu,
Silver Plated Knife,
Silver Plated Ice Pitch ku,
Silver Plated Ccr,
Silver Plated Goulet,
Silver Plated Cake Stand,
Silver Plated Beiiiiv Bowl,
Silver Plated Tka Set f
If so, it will pay you to sond six cents for
postngo for the magnificently illustrated
catahcue of tho
MERMOD & JACCARD JEWELRY CO.,
Fourth aud Locust Sts., St. Louis, Mo.,
And loarn at what low prices they sell tho
beautiful goods there illustrated.
Wurn in St. Louh Call on Thkm. (4)