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We Are Still si the LeadV Tjjaeo&uerai raef flews Tlio lleneDtt of Travel. Mrs. flobson do Hob'on (recently returned from abroad) Wo hail a clinrming trip. 1 think foreign travel Is bo broadening nrnl elovntlng to ono's uiliut, Mr. BullwliiVtl. Mr. lluliniukcl Yn'a You visited Lnu anno, of course, whllo you Hero In Switzer land. Mrs. llobon do llobsou (rctros)ectlvely) Why, 1 think so, Mr. Bulliviiikel. (Turning to daughter) Wasn't it at Lausanne, Clara, dear, that vie had such delicious waflto for breakfast 1 Life. Terrible. Hermit of ttnsebnlt. entered nt JJio Wnio I'oftolllco ns tccomt-clniB Mnll .Mntter EVENING NEWS COMPANY. ritoi'imrroiiH. .1. ('. 1111. 1.. Jlminurr. DC GENTS IMSR ZMTONTH. A ratal Objection. WACO, TEXAS, NOV. 13, 188S. What about the roadtoBiownwood? The "Vidcttcs" arc disbanded until the next campaign. Good crops counteract of a republican success. the effects Cotton comes to Waco from all our surrounding counties. Speculation as to the cabinet of president-elect Harrison is rife. Waco's cotton receipts for will reach 50.000 bales. 1S8S.S9 The election of Hatrison has set the country back several years. Waco needs a few more railroads and now is a good time to set about getting them. The result is certain and speculators may as well pony up their bets and and settle it. I The re-election of Senator Coke is certain. It is highly improbable that he will have an apponcnt before the legislature. The prohibition party rejoices over the defeat of democrats and exults in the elevation of the adocate of free whisky and free tobacco. If the Waco Female College goes it will not go alone. The work of dis solution once begun cannot be checked without other and graver losses. Jimgo Jim, the tattooed man from the bleak shores of Maine has a signifi cant wink in his eye that bodes noth ing pleasant for the democrats. Mills will make the halls of congress ring with his eloquence and will still be found battling for the people's rights despite the overwhelming odds against him. Other places are bidding for the location of the Waco Female College, and but a few hours remain within which Waco can assure its remaining within. Ier limits. A Harlem young man in a bathing suit walked ten blocks preceded by a brass band. Benjamin Marco, a wealthy coal dealer, blacked the boots of Republicans at an elevated station. Charles Amberman, a lawyer, played a hand organ at the four corners of Port Richmond, S. I. Ackerman, a broker, sold chestnuts on Broadway for two hours. All these men had bet on Cleveland. The defeat of Jehu Baker in the Eighteenth Illinois Dictrict is not only a victory for tariff reform and a re buke of boodle methods, but is very naturally regarded by Colonel Win. R. Morrison as a sort of personal tri umph and vindication. The com bined effort of protection bigotry and monopoly money defeated him two years ago, and his defeat was claimed throughout the country as discredit ing tariff reform. That tariff reform and the policy of advocating it is now justified in the home of the man who was among theearliest in origin ating and perhaps the most zealous in advocating it St.Louis Republic. Young Mr. Johnsing (in swell Thompson street boarding house) Ara yo' de lady of dis yero bo'din' house! Miss Purplebloom (genteelly) I'se de daughter of do mistress of Mis Stablishment, sab. Young Mr. Johnsing (crossing ono knee stylishly) Well, 1'so lookin' fo' er la'go nlry somo room wif nlcovo and dtimaskus cur tains, an' fust class flxins, nith southern ex posure an' gentility. I'se willin' to pay as much as two dolla's a week. Miss Purplebloom (n ith n slight sniff) Am do loom fo'yo'sefl Young Mr. Johnsing Hit nm. Misj Purplebloom Well, I'so berry sorry indeed, sab, but wo nebber take Zulus. New York Sun A Nlehtiniue. In the swaling sw irl of the soughful wind, as the. gust goes glaoring by, I sit by the bole of a boumful birch, with a moan and a soul ful sigh; tho mellowing mists of tho eve are low, and the frog in tho daukful marsh chirps chirpingly sad in tho ghoulsome gloom, iu a swivcring voice and harsh: O, where U the swing of tho swoonful swish, Anil the olee of tho Him flam fol? MethlnVs it moans from the murky mold. From the home of tlie hootful owl. Now swivel me swift from the surging Kprlng, I'm weary of wold mid wind: the grew somo graik of the jabberwock comes jimmeriug to my mind; tho feeblosongof the spoUome frog conies solemnwise, sough ing slow, and again I hear by the bournful birch the wail of his wimpled woe: O, hero is tho sn ing of tho swoonful sn ish, From the land of tho sprlnsful tprolo? Must tho bluo mists blur on the tinker's drale. Anil freight with their fraught my soul! I dreamed, I dreamed of Amelio Rives, in tho dim of the danksomo durk, and metbought I rodo on n moonful main, in tho prow of a pullful bark; I wrought a rhyme as I roamed along, in the stream of tho starful gloat; I nwoko at daw n in the dimplod day, and abort is tho rhyme I wrote. Lincoln Journal. The Deceived Coachman. A Family Coachman, who was Driving the Master and Mistress on his first trip, shaved tho wheels oiT of two Private Carriages, rub bed a Grocer's horse, and crowded several Vehicles to the Curbstono to Escapo him. He was about to run over a Pokick with 10,000 feet ili Lumber on bis back when a Policeman Arrested him for Ileckless Driviug, and tho Master observed that it Served him right. "But it is your Fault!" Protested the Driver. "Why, I have not Said a Word." "That is true, but you failed to Inform me as we started out that you did not own the Whole Earth, and I havo been Driving Accordingly." uoral: It is a Moan Trick to Deceive a Coachman In that Manner. Detroit Freo Press. Took Him a Long While. I must havo a talk with this George to night," said tho old man, "and seo if 1ft means business." "Oh, don't, pal" pleaded Oracle. "It will kill mo if you do." "Tut, tub," he returned; "hasn't he been coming hero a year and never proposed yetr "That's truo, pa," sho replied; "but give him a little moro time. You know Geoige Btutters so." 2Cow York Sun. Interesting to ScleiitlnU. Miss Bunker Hill Do you havo much In dian summer in Colorado! MaJ. Wester Yes, wo have a great deal more Indian summer than you do here in the east. "I wonder why that is soH "Because wo havo got moie Indians, I reckon." Texas Sittings. l'lnjliis House. Gen. Harrison has very few inti mate and confidential friends, and it is a question as to who is the closest to him, either politically or personal ly. Judge Wood, of the federal court, is counted as one of his intimates, next to his law partners, Messrs. Miller and Elam, who, perhaps, pos sess his confidence in the greatest de gree Mr. Miller lives just across the street from the general's house and the families are exceedingly inti mate. During the campaign Miller has acted for Gen. Harrison in a number of ways, was with him at Bass Island and represented the candidate at the Blaine reception in New York. It has long been the practice of the two to pass many of their evenings to gether smoking and chatting, and this association indicates the most acreca- ble relations. Another man who is supposed to possess Gen. Harrison's private ear is Hon. Stanton J. Fcele, ex-membex of congress, 4JlsHt Mndgo (supposed to bo in search of board) Can I get rooms here! Jenny (landlady) Is that child jours? Madge Ycs'm. Jenny I'm sorry, but wo don't tako chil dun here. Life. Wife John, I dou't seo why the authorities permit peoplo to play that horrid game, base ball. "Why!" "Why! Because it causes so much violence and death. In this newspaper account of n Blnglo gmuo I too that ono man was knocked out of tlio box and three other unfortunate fellows died at first base. It's really shock ing." Lincoln Journal. Wheat Went Mourning. &'! Where. They Abound. Col. Ghooly, tho now Persian mitdstor at Washington, says the women of this country ure tho most beautiful in tho world. lie must havo lsltsd Norristuwu lu cog. Nor ristowu Herald. Bin..) m S'iLv 4 TT-.J.-J .-"-l-Vfl "I don"r:; for much, ma'c.ii."' said the Jaded tourist, humbly, "but. if yon can gic mo only 11 piece Df bread'' "Iiie.nl''' hhiK'kcd tlio bih. raisinj her hands in honor. "Oul u piece nt bread! I can give ou mj:iii smldle mil: owers, rnut turkey with cr.11 beir, iaucj, ami u glass of champagne, ami if that isn't goml cnoujli for j on, sii . j ou cm go on to the next homo. Do you tako me for a millionairef Cuicago Tribune. Wh) Sho United Him. "How large jour dug has giowu," 10 marked Coia. "1 renumber wheu he wasn't any bigger than n kltlex" "Yes," leturncd Mr. LackLeart in ad miration, "as scon as he gi ows a little larger I am going to ha u a pilr of lovely slippurs made out of his skiu "New York Hun. An Awkward Youth. Hostess (to guest) Dont you dance, Mr. Addlel Mr. Addle Aw no, nevah dawoce; toe awkward y' know, ha, kol Hostess You mast find it rather dull Shall I present you to Miss Smith, who is uch a shining light in literature! Mr. Addle Aw no, thawula, don't talk y'knowr, I'm too too Hostess Awkard, Mr. Addlel The Epoch. A Cheeky Nurse. Nurso Can't I put baby In the crib, ma'am) Mother No; dogglo is In tho crib. Walt till doggie has had his nap. Boston Courier. Too Late. "Did you hear anything about a dude being drowned in the river)' he asked, as he sauntered into the office, "No," replied the snake editor, "but w heard that a flat had been sunk this morn ing." "Awl you have the news, I seo. Good day." "Ta, ta! Next time bring us ouo through whoso whiskers the agitated atmosphere Tiai not moaned." Pittsburg Chronicle Tele graph. Next Thing to a Fortune. Woman Ho vo you been a tramp long? Tramp Pretty much all my life, ma'am; it runs in the family. My poor old father was a professional for twenty-seven years; but the other day ho struck big luck. Woman Did ho como into an Immense fortune) Tramp Well tr no, not quite. Some Influential friends of his got him into th poorhouso. New York Sun. Tempering tho Wind. Wtfo As a rulo, ray dear, aren't bow legged men conceited about their personal ppearanco) Husband As a general thing they are, and I look upon it in the light of a merciful dis pensation of ProTidence. The I.ord, you know, tempers the wind to the shorn lamfr New York World. Justly Proud of Hr. "No, my wife is not good looking. In fact, she's very homely. But kirn's good and talented, and I am proud of hen." "Sho's of a literary turn, I believe!" "Yes, she is now contributing a series of articles to tho newspapers." "On what subject)" "How to be beautiful." Lincoln Journak Itubliteu Prosperous. I'hlladelphlan now's business in tho westl Chicago Mai-First class. Our firm, suc ceeded in borrowing $40,000 last week. Phil adelphia Hecord, No News. A scarcity of $100 bills is reported. This will bo nothing new to a great many people. Not Taught night. A somewhat unpolished mother of a very charming daughter was recently heard to say: "1 don't intend lettin' Emily go back to Mmo. Waring's school. They don't teach 'cm right. Now, 1 don't know so very much rojself, but 1 never would tell my child that IX spells nlnu. It's absolutely ridiculous." Harper's Magazine. They Got There Just 1110 Kama. Woman (who has kindly given tramp a bed to sleep on over night) Did jo sleep! pretty well las' night, ray poo man? Tramp Yo'es, pretty well, but I was both ered somo. The bpocb. ft a 0 0 - AM Up to is Date WE HAVE RECEIVED -SO- Carloads of Furniture, A PORTION of our our Fall Stock, which we now have on exhibition, Aid in addition to that we will be receiving about a carload a day until the 26th inst, at which time we will have our H-Dpi! and then we will be able to show you the Grandest Assortment OF FURNITURE Ever Shown in Texas, Our line will be fin ished in Mahogany, Walnut, Natural Cher ry, Olive, Ash, Ma ple and in every finish that can be put on a piece of goods. WE ALSO HAVE AN ELEGANT LINE OP Pictures, Steel Engravings, Oil Paintings, Ottographs, and Chromos, which we will offer for less money than you can buy thc?m for in New York City. We still carrr a lull line of Mouldings, iiiid in ftict every thing that is to be found in a First Class Furniture Store, and if there is such a thing as plons Ing tne Texas people, wo intend to do it. Give us a Trial. We are selling Mar ble top bed room sets for $25.00. We are selling office and parlor suits, up holstered in Plush, for $35.00. We are selling bed steads as cheap as $2". And chairs as cheap as 50 cents. We can seat the poor as well and the rich. UNDERTAK'RS DEPARfHT We Garry a Full Line of Cofflnsfrom the Cheapest to the Best. Also a lino of cloth covered caskets. Motalio cases, nod a full lino of robes for gonts, ladies and ohildren. Arterial Embalming a Specialty. Prices to Suit Everybody. Appropriate. At a country exhibition a imiall licmso maili entirely or uoxes ot nouoy lias tlio ar-propi i ato Inscription of "Homo, siveut homo." Waco : Furniture : Oo. i 0 0 CD- lo .m i'mHf ,,JS!.W.