Newspaper Page Text
San Antonio Light.
"WILL BE HACK AT-"
HOW THE RETURN NOTICE WORKED.
It wm In u young lawyer's cilltce. The
lawyer himself sat leaning lmtk In a
chair at bis desk wondering why clients
wero so scarce, when a Inl, rakish young
mnn walked briskly In nnd began to un
wrap a bht package which ho carried
in hi hand. "It's both useful an or
namental; wives I linn an' trouble an'
makes friends. 1 call it the patent Auto
matic llcturn Notice, Lciuine nil you
ono. It'll tlx your "
"Hold up; that'll do. Let's seo what
you have," said the lawyer, yawning
prodigiously and slowly taking his legs
down from the otllco table, while at tho
same time ho deftly
tossed a French nov
el onto the top shelf
of abnnkcasn. Then
U di ho clasped Ida hands
VrCH behind his head,
t US tilted back his chair.
and watched his vis-
I 1 1 Via itor unwrap his par
ks' U I I, iel. It was quite an
which tho man be
gan to set out for
inspection upon the
table. First enmo
tho works of a small
alarm clock, next a
number fiMxilla unit
"Bat Thing Out." screws, ami finally
an ornamental Iron framo within which
appeared In black characters the familiar
legend, "Out; Back at 1 O'Cmick."
"Now," proceeded tho tull umn. "you
Just screw this hero clock onto the in
side of your door there, attach It to the
framo on tho outside, set tho tlmo on the
notico to suit yourself, wind tho clock,
0 out an' lock your door, an' come
ack when you please. See?"
"Y-e-s; but what has tho clock got to
do with the notico? How does "
"Let mo explain. H'poso you've got a
notice on your door now which saya
you've gono out an' '11 bo hack at 1
o'clock. Well, s'poso you don't get
back at that time, an' somebody calls at
2 o'clock an' finds you still out. Ho
naturally says to himself you ain't to be
depended upon; don't her An' ho goes
away mad at you. Now, with my In
vention all that trouble Is done away
with. You set my automatic return no
tice at 1 o'clock, an' when that hour ar
rives an' you don't come back, why, It
Just changes quick as a wink to 'back
at 1 :30.' At 1 .30 it jumps to 'back at 2,'
and so on all through the afternoon,
or nntll you come In. If anybody calls
while you are out tho notice is
bound to rend all right. You can never
be behind time If a caller should hap
pen to get here Just before It changes,
and, after ho watts a few minutes, looks
at the notice again and finds It different,
he'll cither think he made a mistake In
the first placo or Is losing his bead. It
don't matter to you which, so's your
reputation for belli' on tlmo don't suffer.
The young lawyer was lost In wonder
and admiration of the man's Ingenuity,
and be smiled and said: "do ahead,"
almost as soon as the explanation was
finished. In twenty minutes the "auto
matic return notice" was on his door
and tho tall man had gone. That was
last Thursday. Tho invention worked
like a charm that afternoon. Friday the
young legal light went to dinner at noon
to bo gone thirty
friends mill took
an hour and it half
to eat it, played
a came or two of
readied his of
flco at 12:15 p, m.,
the notice regis
tering "back atr
8." That night
he let I lio clock
work run down.
When lie wound
It up again Sutur- 1
day morning he
noticed a peculiar
bat paid no at
Well, Great Bccttf
tention to It at the time. At 13 o'clock
be went to dinner as niual, and relying
upon his self-regulating notice to take
cars of his Interests, spent the afternoon
at a matinee. He boa not been over
whelmed with a rash of business since
be bad put out his shingle, which, brave
In bright gqld letters and fresh black
paint, outshone all Its neighbors, and he
(bought that he could spare the time.
That was where he made his mistake.
At 12:48 o'clock a client a real, bona
fide, brand-new client approached his
door, read the notice, "Block at 1," and
waited. He lounged up and down the
hallway, whistled, did a doable shuffle
very softly, and then his eye caught the
notice again. It read: "Back at 1:80."
The prospective client stared bard at it,
robbed his eyes, stared again, and with
an astonished "Great Scott!" leaned
heavily back against the wall. Just then
be was joined by a tailor's collector,
wbo bad come to worry the young law-
Ser for the ninth time that week. The
nn followed the direction of the client's
pointing forefinger and then his eyes be
gan to bulge. There was something
wrong with the "automatic return no
tice." It had gotten out of order. In
leu than two minutes it had run through
the afternoon op to 0 o'clock. It began
to skip two or three hours at a time. Peo
ple passing np and down stairs stopped
to look at the strange thing The occu
pants of other offices poured out. The
news got Into the street. In a short time
the entry was crowded. Btill the self
acting notico kept on In Its erratic way.
Now the "Out would dlsaDoear and
"Oono to dinner" tako Its place, to be
quickly followed by "Qone to court"
and "Out of town." Tho hours vanish
ed and reappeared with startling rapid
ity. "0 o'clock," "0 o'clock'1 "4:30
o clock," "0 o'clock" camo and went In
a flash. The people grinned anil went
away, but others took tlielr places. They
wcro fascinated by the lnailiiiie, and
they crowded around It and Jostled each
other for a closer view. At last It sud
denly became a confused Jiiinblo of
words and figures, and then with a whirr
and a bang it stopped. Many who had
been enjoying tho novel performance
waited a long time for It to start up
again, but they weru disappointed. The
lawyer did nut return after the matinee.
Lato In the evening n friend dropped In
to sco him at ids house and told him all
about it. After tho fricud had gone the
rising attorney procured one of his sis
ter's croquet mallets, went down to his
office, took oil his emit, and with u few
well directed and vigorous blows wound
up tho career of tliu "l'atcnt Automatic
Itcturn Notico" forever '. ladtlphia
oittiic lili. i. lf Ai,
MKS. P0TTEI1S' VIEWS.
HER CONTEMPLATED TRIP TO PARIS.
An Inlrrrlrn tilth w York's Favorites
Amateur Art res -A Xw ,inerlra
"Cawn't you wcally see without your
" Ton honor, denli boy. nw couldn't
tell jour face fwom wlicie I stand
(suddenly iilid forgetting In adjust tho
goggles' Then goes lliul st'innlng Do
Grnvci gvrul' 1 wish she'd look around."
Tin city of Vienna. An-triii. with
population of 7Wi.(ki. bus not a single
Coniucticut is Mild lo be I In- "ily
Btate east of Nebraska where an at
tempt at suicide I not a legal misdemeanor.
Will IsMsnnltiir liih' vu,
And to Unit the lonely bivalve
He who arts It ill Ills plate
RINCS AND mTtTENS
lie tn Vog-u.
Apropos to rings, the demand for col
ored diamonds and bright gems has
brought rings again into popular favor to
such a degree that it is nothing remark
able to see the slender digits of a society
lady with rings two or thrco deep. For
some years an excessive display of rings
has been considered vulgar or parvenu
and only a diamond clnster or solltairo
or the wedding circlet has been consider
ed good form. The old-fashioned solid
set cameos, seals, and largo sapphlro and
emeralds, which belonged to a back gen
eration and have been assigned to the
inner case of the jewel box, are now be
ing brought out and cither worn In their
antique designs or reset in keeping with
the more modern Jewelry worn by the
young possessors to whom they have
fallen as heirlooms. Fashion in its rota
tion has placed a value on them which
they had not before. The belles of half
a century ago wore rings on every An-
!;er of both or either hand up to the first
olnt. Forty or even eighty handsome
eweled circlets were not then considered
excessive, and we may expect in this
progressive age to see the number dou
bled at least.
As rings cannot be worn under gloves,
unless the wearer consent to wear a glove
two or thrco sizes larger than she It ac
customed to, mittens are to bo the fash
ionable hand covering this season; not
the old fashioned red or gray band-knit
mitten of our mother's day, but dainty
creations of silk of delicate or solid
shades. These mittens, which admit of
easy removal, are to be worn on all oc
casions In the street, at the opera, and
even for church. There is surely noth
ing more comfortable than mittens.
They are very convenient, for they can
be slipped off In a twinkling, allowing a
gleam of the pretty jeweled fingers In
passing out tho car fare. In depositing
the alms, or adjusting a stray ribbon or
hair, and as quickly covered from sight.
How much pleasanter It is in shaking
hands to feel the soft, warm flesh with
out the interposition of a pieco of kldl
Wanted m Stronger llop.
A couple of London garrotera were
sentenced to the gallows. One was a
Frenchman, the other a Prussian. The
fatal platform was erected a few metres
above tho level of the Thames. The
Frenchman's turn came first. He pre
sented his neck, tho noose was placed
around It, and two seconds later be was
launched into space. But, unexpected
lack I the rope snapped. The bandit
dropped Into the water and swam for his
life. The crowd applauded. The Prus
sian bad looked on meanwhilo with per
fect composure, then, turning to the exe
cutioner, he said, "I say, find me a bet
ter quality of rope I can't swim." Let
Quatre VmU it V Etprit.
MIIS. JAMK.S IlltllWX l'OTTEII.
"Yes," said Jin, .fames Brown Potter,
a few days ngo, "I am going to France
for tho winter." Sim hud just returned
from n six-mile walk around Tuxedo
Lake, ond as she sot in the pretly pnrlor
of her coltnge her chirk. Hushed with
exercise, her eyes bright with health,
her stately llguro cl.nl I si a yachting suit
which had pleased the tastonf the l'rlncc
of Wales at C'owes last Summer, she
seemed moio than worthy of all the
praise which bus been accorded her re
markable beauty. It Is not," sho con
tinued, "fiuin imy disloyally tinny na
tive land that 1 hurry baik to Europe.
An AiniTlcau is always an American.
But my iiucie, you know, is at present
our Mlnl-U r to Franc e, and I i-lnill lake
advantage id Unit fact to spend Hie win
ter In Paris. 1 want In r-tiily tin- Trench
language and llti-raluro nod French art
at the very fountain heads. You sco I
himi been a good ilenl of a Irawlor nnd
wamicilngnlinlltl.il habit which grows
ononc 1 have been to the Holy Land.
-Mr. Puller and I spent a Fourth or July
two years ago Just across I lit- Aicilo Cir
cle In Norway. We were looking for
tho midnight mm I found starvation.
Wo were snnwul up for n long time nnd
hud nolhiiig to eat for llilit -l hours.
I shall leiiM- New York for Fiance- on
tho Caseolg n the llth of NiiM-mbcr.
.Meanwhile 1 lime n great iii-iny duties
engaging my attention, Ytm know 1 am
publishing n hook nf recitations for the
uso of amateur. It will contain about
scvcnty-lho piece, which arc. In my
opinion, especially lilted to interest an
audience. An audience doesn't care to
listen to long descriptions. No matter
how well n poet may paint tho beauties
of natiue, bin verse will never be popu
lar for recitations unless ho ha. tho dra
matic Instinct. An audience grows rest
less if you do not talk to them of people,
of human life, of something besides land
scapes and metaphysics. An audience
demands from a reciter a story of every
day existence, something which every
man and woman within bearing knows
to bo line In conception If not In fact."
"Aud "Ostler Jo," you hao him on
tho list?" was asked.
"Oh, yes; and a few poems which have
never yet challenged public crltlcl-in.
Mrs. 1.11a Wheeler Wilcox, who, by tlio
way. Is a charming lady, camo out hero
to see mo and said, before she left, that
she would write mo n poem adapted to
recitation. She has scut It tn me and I
am delighted with It. It Is destined to
be very popular, It is called "Two Sin
ners,' and IlliistrateK tho tendency of so
ciety to forgive n man who goes wrong
while It remains unrelenting towards a.
woman who errs. The poem is both'
musical and dramatic and will lie one of
the striking features of my bunk. Tho
Llppincotts, of Philadelphia, will bring
out the little volume about tho 1st of
December. I have had to write to tho
American authors whoso poems 1 use for
fiermlsslon to publish their verses. I am
n receipt of some delightful letters.
Whlttler, Baxe and John Hay are among
those who have written me. The latter
sent mo a most charming note. His 'Jim
Bludsoe' I am very fond of, as I am a
Southerner, you know. The Prlnco of
Wales never tired of this piece aud often
asked me to recite It. Mr. Uay, among
other things', wrote that when he heard
Charlotte Cushman recite 'Jim Bludsoe'
he wondered who wrote it. Mr. Glider's
'After Sorrow's Night' was also very
popular in England. It was surprising
to me to find tho English bo enthusiastic
about my simple method of delivery.
They seem to admire a quiet and sub
dued manner In an elocutionist much
more than do my own countrymen. A
peculiar thing happened to mo not long
ago. A Mrs. Ituncle, from Bomewhere
out West, called on me one day and said
that she hod traveled 3,000 miles to ask
me to use her poems In my recitations.
I have chosen for my book a poem by
her called 'To My Ive,' which I think
will pleaso the public I think my col
lection ought to be very useful to ama
teur elocutionists, as It is the result of
years of sifting from hundreds of recita
tive poems. The I'rinco of Wales has
written to mo nsklug for tho first copy,
which shall ho sent him, I am going to
dedicate the little volumo to Drowning.
I am very fond of Browning. In reply
to my letter asking him If I might dedi
cate my book to him I received to-day a
most charming note. Ho says: "Your
pleasant piece of kindness finds me away
from home, but I make basto to answer
that I shall ho honored and (what Is bet
ter) gratified by the proof you propose
to give mo that I havo not wholly drop
ped from out that admirable memory of
yours. 1 was much amused at the Inter
est Mr. Browning. took In Chicago. He
piled mo with questions at a dinner one
evening about Chicago, and seemed to
feel that his poetry was moro fully ap
preciated In that city than anywhere else
In America. Mr. Browning Is a charm
ing man. Of all my memento, nf En
gland I value his letters and the plus
given mo by the Prince of Wale, the
"What tin you think of Wilson Bar
rett, Mrs. Putter?"
"Oh, I admlro him very much. He
was out here to sco lis Sunday night nnd
had to wail three hours at the station as
the train was late. 1 think he Is a very
remarkable oclnr. He has a peculiar
magnetism which alwaya wln.au audi
ence. Yes, I am very fond of Irving also.
I was speaking to film one night of tho
great exhaustion caused by an evening
devoted tn recitations. 'Yes. ho said,
'the strain on an elocutionist is much
greater than on an actor. An elocution
ist lias to paint hi. own scenery, portray
viirlou. t haractcrs and hear the whole
load of the eenlug'8enterta1nmeiit. An
actor has none nf tlieso disadvantages
and does not feel at the end of a long
piece the exhaustion which comes of
necessity to the elocutionist.' 111. words,
I remember, recalled to my mind sonic
remarks of Mis. Mary Anderson regard
ing amateur theatrical., rjhosald: 'Havo
nothing to do with them. They are a
tremendous strain nn tho nerves and do
not pay one who has a high Ideal of dra
matic art.' "
"But what am I tn do?" continued
Mrs. Potter. "It I. almost Impossible to
say "no," when you are asked to play or
rcelto for sumo deserving charity. In
sane asylums, hospitals. eVc. are con
tinually asking for tnv services. I have
sometime, rec lied at thico or four differ
ent institution. In one evening The
physical strain Is u-ry great "
"You do not look in though jou bad
received any permanent injury from your
career as an elocutionist."
"No: I don't think I haw 1 posses,
a M-ry elastic temperament. By lliu way,
Munlg, a ery brilliant artist, who was
originally from Boston, hut who ha.
spent must nf his time In Europe, ha.
reached New Ynrk with a partially fin
ished pnitrnlt nf me, wide h Is, from an
artistic standpoint, n very lemarkablo
production. It Is In the Van Dyke man
ner, ami 1 am in llt-nrl (juatro costume.
The artist has tnkc n a studio In Wash
ington sipiare lam very willing to go
down tn posterity as this man ha. paint
"lime you anv special plans for your
season In Paris?''
"Nn, none at all. I shall devoto the
winter to stn.lv and sight-seeing. My
little daughter goe. with me. She has
forgotten oil the French she used to
know nnd I want her to recall It."
"Thcro is n general Impression, Mrs.
Potter, that you are going on the stage.
Do you care to say anything about it?"
"No. I am In receipt continually of
largo offers from managers, tint, n. I said
before, 1 have no plans for the futuro be
yond a few months' Btudy In Paris."
"Will you not glvo me some of your
impressions of English society?"
"I do not care to. You bco I was re
ceived there with so much cordiality that
I do not feel at liberty to make public
the impressions I derived. 1 can frankly
say, however, that English society has
many delightful features. Tho Princess
of Wales is tho most gracious woman I
ever met. She Is both beautiful in per
son anil sweet in disposition. London is
so different from New York. In Eon
don 1 felt all the time ns though I wero
at a great plcnsino resort. 'Ihcro was
none of that hustle and excitement which
pervades social life In New York. Every
body seemed to havo tlmo to onuisc them
selves. There Is something fascinating
in tho restfulnes. of London society life.
Tho same tloUe far niente which adds a
charm to Newport and Lenox influences
on a large scale the social atmosphere of
London." A-. 1". llerM.
Mrs. Horace Ilelyar belongs to that
famous galaxy of women who llguro In
the fashlonablo chit-chat of two conti
nents and whoso beauty is advertised by
the press on both sides of the Atlantic.
She is an Englishwoman, the wlfo of a
member of tho American legation, and
consequently an impartial distributor of
her sweet presence between England and
the United States.
Till- rrrslilcnt's f'h.
' Bhe and her husband passed last sum
mer at Newport, In a modest and artis
tic cottago on Channing avenuo, known
Her beauty is in some respects not un
like that of Langtry, Insomuch that it is
languid, highbred, delicately sensuous,
and at once stately and womanly. She
is a blonde of a thorough English typo,
with that rcposo which the English la
dles pit against tho vivacity of Frenchwomen.
mWO-Flne building: lots fur sale, site 110x110
J. foet, In block 1J7, west of Ban 1'cdro creek,
adjoining Krlsch property. Inquire or T. li.
There ha. been a great deal of misin
formation nhnui the President's country
scat Tho grounds have! figured ns spa
cious domains, wltli' elvet lawn., deep
grovcel and -prlng walcrisl.' and the
house ha. posed as a lottniro. a mansion,
a hoinesteiiil, nnd a feutlnl castle, where
as. In truth, the grounds ait! a few acres
of grim ily land, urn- grne nf nully tlno
oaks, and the huiise lescinMes, In Its new
guise, a Sw Iss i Inlet lib nn addition of
tiirreted Illume wide erand.is and a
cumin imling lew-of iheclt.the river
and Hie hills .d Man land unci Virginia.
Those who luie emne luo k to the city
from the mountains and the sea make
an earK pilgrimage in I'nily Pros
jicct ' Tlie nlher nlirht I lien- w as placed
nt the gate In lieu nf the silli eiiiall who
was lie re fur in. mill- u -trei. li nf very
barbed wlte nnd an Impassable twisted
metal barrier whii h pioiincda cioscr
inspection but Diat "made nothing," for
every thing I- in the i h ins of renovation,
nnd partition linn are not defined permanently
It was "tho Pretty Pro.pi-il tract of
Hoseclale aud has been a part of the
Green estate slum the settlement of
Maryland. The house I. built of stone,
quarried on the place, and mortared to
gether as It broke away under tho blast
ing, bo Its face Is Irregular to a plctur
csquo degree, and the stone varies In
color from a rich seal-brown to n dull
chronic- cllow. The two nin-lvo chim
neys that Hanked the east and west walls
havo been run up nn the base lines, di
viding nn the secoHcl story about a large
window nnd climbing into a castellated
finish. Tho roof Is steep, low-hanging,
nnd red enough tn answer fnr a beacon.
A quaint llttlo hood of adoriner I. drawn
over tho front at the best point of view,
and a largo porte-cochere I. built out on
tho side. Tho trees about the house are
young, of slight growth, and Inconsider
able yet as ornaments, but the sharp
point of tho maple nnd tho sturdy black
walnut promise futuro stiade and beauty.
The landscape gardeners arc at work,
and already havo the rough edge, polish
ed away. The plac e is simple and unpre
tending, $10,000 moro than covering the
sum to bo expended on repairs and Im
provements, and It will not bo even as
well turned out a. several of Hie adjoining
Tim Tenallytown rnad borders It on
tho west, and to tho southward stretches
tho Woodley lano the highway that
leads through tho Itock Creek region
nnd away to tho northward and cast
ward rise tho outlying spur, of tho Blue
.Mountains. Tho city In tho rising and
setting sun seems In llo.it like a halcyon's
nest on tho burnished surface, of tho mist
streaming up from tho rlier, whllo tho
Capitol and tho monument (dwarfed for
once Into inoderato height) look like
royal milestone set tn pmelalm the
march our fair cltv make, toward per
fect beauty - ffiuftngtau Cur
A ranchman fiom ('ouclm county
went Into Miw Sclr ibiirg's Austin
clothing emporium lnt week Ho got
Into dispute, knockid Mose clown,
blackened the cyo of joiing Jake, and
used frontier language to Mm, Schaum.
burg. Muse had the ranchman arrested
for this and for slandering him by pub
licly proclaiming cm the streets that he
was a thief. The ranchman rent his law
yer to Moso with n view to having the
"You offers me," sold Mose, "ten tol
lers. Mine graclou.l dot a. an Insult.
Ten toilers vor my vniinded feelings!
Ten toilers vor Jakeys lilac k evel Ten
tollars vor doso pacl vords at Hcbccca!
Und he rain my gharacter by galling
mo a thief. Vy, my vrleud, dot ghar
acter by Itself vat vorth more as ten
tollars. I dells you vot vo do, mako It
dwclva tollar and a halluf and ve galls
It squvare." Term Styling:
t raudt In the C'onVe Trad.
"I dearly lovo a good cup of coffee,
but until recently found It difficult to ob
tain one outside of the best hotels,"
said a llrooklynlto to an Kagle reporter.
"A few weeks ago I made tho acquaint
ance of a gentleman engaged in tho cof
fee trade in New York, who has since
supplied me with the best of coffee
beans. My friend has given me a few
point. In buying coffee which may be o(
use to many readers of the Kagle. A man
who buys coffee ground Is a fool. Why I
Because in coffee sold In that manner
fraud can bo easily practiced. Browned
bread crumbs are often sold by un
scrupulous dealers as coffee. If you have
ever purchased coffee In the many retail
stores down-town In New York yon
would find that all tho coffee sold was
ground and put up in packages. Such
firms seldom or never, sell coffee in tho
bean or roasted. By buying It In tho
bean ono I. sure that it Is undultcrated,
although ho may pay mora for tho coffee
than It Is worth. But few aro ablo to
tell tho cliirerencu between a 30-cent cof
fee and a 'J0-cent coffee If ono buys of
a grocer he must rely on that worthy's
It U very annoying to havo a bald
headed barber try to sell you a bottle of
his hair elixir.