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A REGULAR CAMOUFLAGER
On ;i Mississipi plantation, forty miles
from Nowhere, was an African Methodist
Episcopal church, built of round pine poles.
with an inch board Moor and the whole cov
ered with four foot clapboards. It was not
intended for an exclusive, summer meeting
house, hut that was about the only season
of the year that services could be held in
it owing to its rather open condition, and
I hen Rgain, it kinder fitted in with the com
munity which had an over-supply of sum
mer Christiana and winter devils. Under
this church edifice the lio^s of the planta
tion spent their winter nights, which left
it pretty well stocked with fieas that be
ciipe very numerous in summer, and they
never lost an opportunity of coveringl with
the Lord's elect on Sundays, when they as
sembled for worship. So annoying to tbe
congregation did these little pests become
that, the parson sent word a week ahead.
that it he (lets had to be driven out or he
would have to preach under an accommo
dating shade tree hard by, which moved the
brethren to assemble the following Satur
day afternoon and proceed to clean house
and to likewise make it hog-tight for the
Following winter that there would be fewer
lleas the following summer. The pests
were just a shad preaching day as in the
past and might have so contniued all sum
mer had not some wise old head moved to
herd a few sheep about the house for a
brief period. The fleas got matted into
the sheep's wool and when (the sheep were
let out the flees went with them and the
balance of the summer there was more
pi-caching and praying and less scratching.
This church edifice was one of four of a
similar construction, which belonged to the
I'x'cch Grove Circuit and it generally had
ii new preacher every year and sometimes
;i change was necessary in the middle of the
year, when the Elder became unduly fond
of sonic of the sisters. So when Rev. Makiel
(accent on the a), a tall slender and more
or less prepossessing parson, showed up
Pov the summer protracted effort it was not
mi it'll out of the ordinary, save and accept
ihat the young ladies of the community vied
with each other as to who could fry the
linest cuts of yellow leg chicken for him.
In I ike most country communities of that
state, there Mere a large number of young
ladies that had acquired a sufficient edu
cational smattering to enable them to pass
a third grade examination permitting them
to teach a country school, which had any
where from fifty to one hundred pupils in
it for three months each year, and those
young school inarms were at home for the
''big meetin* in general and to see the
new preacher in particular on this occas
ion. Rev. Makiel had a voice that could be
heard a mile away on a still clear night as
easily as it' you were in the meetin' house,
and he seemed to always try to accommo
date the fellow a mile away.
Aside from his good looks and loud voice.
lie. using the word of the present hour, was
a past master at the art of camouflaging.
At the recess hour lie took special delight
in assembling the school manns about him
and telling them of his great learning. Latin
and (i-reek to him were no more than ordi
nary English and he would recite one or
Ihe other at length for their entertainment
and his edification. Hebrew was the foun
'ation of his theology and he even read his
Sunday Bible lessons prior to preaching.
Prom a Greek testament. Such a learned
preacher, black or white, had never before
visited this community and Sis Mandy
told ol' missus all about "dat tin edicated
elder, dat had jist come to preach at the
That Hock of young "iris and the bis'
meetin of that community always attracted
a number of young men teachers and
among them were to be found some pos
sessing a genuine college education. The
liirls told the boys how the new preacher
had them all bested in the dead languages,
which made the boys exceedingly anxious
to hear this prince of peace preach one of
liis most "powful sommons," which A\*as
lull of Hebrew, Greek and Latin and it so
happened that one of the young- men was a
college graduate of Dartmouth and was
visiting friends in the community alt this
time. Now Billy, as he was called by all.
was exceedingly reticent, and from his gen
eral deportment he did not appear to be
any better educated than the ordinary third
grade school teacher, who did not know a
single word or sylable in the dead lan
guages. He was introduced to the Rev. Ma
lt i el, who proceeded at once to victimize
Billy with his much education, which Billy
listened to as intently as if he had been his
old college professor. It had been agreed
with the young ladies that the parson was
'to know nothing of Billy's educational ad
vantages. In the pulpit the new preacher
got there with both feet and his sermon was
full and overflowing with quotations from
the dead languages, to which Billy listened
with silent amusement. Nat only did lie
not have a smattering of the dead lan
guages, but he did not utter a single word
in them and what lie was pleased to call
Hebrew, Greek and Latin was nothing at
all, but just a lot of incoherent gibberish
"How did you like my sermon," inquir
ed the parson after the services.
"It was magnificent," Billy dryly re
sponded, "and, permit me to add, you are
the damndest hypocrite that I have ever
met. Here is my diploma from Dartmouth
College and if you have uttered a single
Hebrew, Greek or Latin word then the pro
fessors of that college are as ignorant as
these poor colored farmers you are en
deavoring to victimize."
Billy was a matter of fact fellow and
pretty set in his way of doing things and
he looked straight at the parson and in
unmistakable language said: "It'st now 4
o'clock and I am going to give you until
f> o'clock for you to pack up your Hebrew,
Greek, Latin and religion and with them
find greener pastures." The sudden de
parture of the new parson was a great sur
prise to the big meeting devotees and Billy
soemed to he as much puzzled as any of
It was a rather strang coincident some
twenty years after that and in the far
Northwest that Billy heard of a very
learned A. M. E. preacher in British Colum
bia, who was "a Scotchman by birth" and
was pronouncing his name Makiel (ac
cent on the c), Billy was anxious to meet
the preacher, not recognizing the name, and
it was at an A .M. E. annual conference
that Dr. Makiel was seen and recognized
by him and he was taking the minutes of
the conference in short hand which, like his
dead language he did not know a single
short hand mark. The eyes of the two men
met as Billy sat in the audience and the
parson on the platform pretending to be
taking down the bishop's sermon in short
hand, and a smile played over the faces of
the two men.
"You are at it again," Billy briefly re
marked to him after the services. "Mum is
the word," he whispered and the two part
ed, perhaps forever.
The yellow peril is the yellow streak—
Memphis Commercial Appeal.
The railroads of the country never had
a more distinguished list of deadheads.—
If the Kaiser builds bigger U-boats the
American gunners will find them easier to
lilt . —Des Moines Register.
In christening an airship we suggest the
young lady smash a bottle of liquid air on
its nose —St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
For twenty-five years the Kaiser drilled
for war, and now he can't control the gey
ser he struck. —Philadelphia Inquirer.
The name of the German Food Controller
is General Shortage.—New York Evening-
"God grant our brave troops may win
the reward they deserve!'' says the Kaiser.
Nobody could wish them any worse luck.—
Nashville Southern Lumberman.
One .general says the side with the last
reserves will win; and America is raising
5,000,000 reserves—St. Louis Globe-Demo
Corn bread properly made is an ambrosial
deilght. Corn bread improperly made
tastes like German propaganda.—Chicago
The only crop that bids fair to be a com
plete failure this year is the crop of sedi
tion Germany tried to plant in this country.
—New York World.
"Baptists to Work in Russia," says a
head-line. It is well. The Russian convert
to democracy will need more than a mere
sprinkling.—Kansas City Star.
It is about time for some one to take the
Hun out of Hungary.—Philadelphia Inquir
Probably the Kaiser would consent to
pick out a king for Ireland along with the
rest. —Ncav York World.
Germany won't say she's licked as long
as there's a church left standing in Bel
gium or France.—Savannah Press.
In view of the success of the first con
crete ship. Faith, they might call the sec
ond one Works.—Providence Journal.
Every time Germany says the U-boats
will wi nthe war her voice gets a little
will win the war her voice gets a little
"Our whole struggle is in God's hands,"
says the Kaiser. And if he only knew what
that means!"— Wall Street Journal.
There are two countries that will never
forget the Americans. One is France and
the other is Germany.—Kansas City Star.
The Germans have one claim to renown:
they're the only folk in history the Irish
have declined to fight.—Philadelphia North
Sixteen sheep are grazing on the White
House lawn. The White House goats are
penned in the Senate chamber.—Peoria
O Mine. Breshkovskaya, grandmother of
the Russian revolution, have you any idea
where your wandering grandson is tonight?
—Kansas City Star.
The "Almighty Dollar" is no longer the
potentate of other days. A dollar doesn't
get much of anywhere nowadays without a
partner.—Kansas City Times.
AFRO AMERICAN HOTEL
Phone Beacon 912 1261 Main
Rooms by Day or Week. Well kept and highly
sanitary. Steam heated.
Mrs. T. H. Jones.
Phone Beacon 29 1236 Main
Three story concrete building. Steam heated.
W. E. Vrooman Jennie Vrooman
NEW WAY CAFE
Phone Main 5964 1034 Jackson
Regular Dinner from 4 to 8 P. M.
We give Special Attention to Theatre parties
J. C. Garner and E. T. Palmer, Props.
Phone 2647 1034 Jackson
Tailors and Cleaners
Clothes called for and delivered.
Hats retrimmed and blocked.
H. S. Frazier C. W. Curtest