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The Colfax chronicle. (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1876-1877, July 22, 1876, Image 1

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn88064175/1876-07-22/ed-1/seq-1/

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TTHE COLFAX CHRONICLE.
_l Cnbrtpcnbcnt fournal, bcbotcb to ~ocal anb bcncra Ilcus, ~itcrt ure, itCIraur, Jit, ictl turt , tc.
mOL. I. COLFAX, GRANT PARISII, LA.., SATURDAY, JULY 22, 1876. INO. 3.
jijED FRY SAT''lR)AY, BY
3. L SEBNEEY_
TEMS:
yaru,in d'auc, .- - - -- ()
noutlh -......
ADVERTISING RATES:
S ý (L ,ee) first insertion.
". eatpwnu t in~rtio, n cis.
ftio of Cs l ite c.tl:ard as a
tilre, usoee othlerwise agreed
C narlsO erla onlltiutl, when
"bb, hebd at double rates.,
ptressional tad tusiines Carls,
snrqUd $10 perr year; two
,, 15.00..
CaDID FPr ANO'1 WCfEEXTS - $5.
cash muns in every in1stancu ac
ythe der.
ti . 3 . tis. 1 ear
4;5 $aB
SAill advltisements sent to t tis
--wun noittherwise specified, will
"erted tilforbidt, and charged ac
p"tnaryn"1 Marriage notices of
-meae slain length charged as
rtsementsa
$'Transied advertisements paya
is advance ;quarterly ads. monthly
-nmr yedy awls. quiarterly in ad
elcet byslpecial contract.
i advrrtiessenta are not plaid for
tthe time spiOrvs for whichll they
been ordd to be published, they
beconnt iud, and pLayment exacted
the fall tim they appearedl in the
JOB WORK uast be lpid for on de
An Eltor's Table.
editor mat i his sanctum,
Iis counteuane furrowed with oare,
ismind st tlhbottonm of business,
I fet on the top of a chair;
elbhir-arm uarm supporting,
ie right haIduupporting his head,
eyu on theausty old table,
With diferenti ocaumenti spread.
e was thirtylong pages from How
hr,
With anderlial capitals topped,
aa bort reqdition from Growler,
Requesting hinewspaper stopped ;
rN were lytae from Gusher, the
poet,
Concerning sweet tflowrets and ze
phyrs,
aud a stray gp from Plodder, the
farner,
Deucribing a euple of heifers.
There were billhfroiu beautiful maid
ens,
Andbill framg grocer or two,
lad his best leakr hitclhd to a letter,
Which enqaitxl if he wrote it, or
whoet
Were raptres of praises from
Of theanoothland melilluous school,
had emsof his mlval's last paplrs,
laforming hima he Its a tool.
Sae several long re-olititons,
With names tsLing as holn they o cere
b olmagomehrmnle.ss otld codger,
Whohaddonelething worse than to
die;
raewere traPat the tabl!o to catch
him,
Aal erpente b ting and to smite;
w er gift. erprises to sell him,
had biters attnptiig to bite.
arelong Arcing "adls." from the
city,
Ana mhaey witinever a one,
adddle give this insert ion
ajd asna l h bill #when you've
-h re~tte m organisations
itn. ,wanUtad their laws-
osid, eCa| you print this an
nouneament
Sthe good of ulr glorious cause."
were tickt iunviting his pres
T ftival4, paI'ls and shows,
noe iu nlotes "P'leasc giive us a
D lUr y lipp at thle close;
~t hi.' cyetokekt te table,
an over inktttersd trash,
Snotlngist~id not encounter,
at, perhalt it wnas-Cadih.
IL SCatnting to her
for her teorary abse ree
seoCiety, saidshe had been
her 'den wedding,
jait marrira blockhead.
Aladdin; or the Wonderful Lamp.
BY THE "FAT COTRIBUTOIL"
Aladdin was an Arabian night
who reached a high degree, altho' t
nothing but the son of a poor tai
lor originally. Now, a man may
carry on the tailoring business
and get rich, and be yet a mighty
poor tailor; but we are assured
that Aladdin's family were really
in reduced circumstances.
Aladdin was one of the most
careless, good-for nothing boys I
ever knew. He wouldn't learn a
trade, unless it was to trade jack
knives, but loitered away the most
of his time on the streets. His
father worked himself up so be
cause he couldn't make his son
work, that he died in a fit-the
only fit, as his customers said,
that ever came out of his shop.
Then Aladdin became more indo
lent than ever. Yet, as showing
the enduring love of a mother, al
though he nearly bored the life
out of her, she continued to board
him.
One day a traveling magician
came along and "showed" in their
town. He saw Aladdin, took a
liking to him as suited his pur
pose, and offered to take him trav
eling with him, and if he wanted
to become a magician he would
learn him to "magish." This just
suited Aladdin, who always wanted
to go with a circus, so he went.
They left the town that night on
foot (as magicians are often com
pelled to do when business is bad)
and proceed'ng in the direction of
the nexttown, where, as the magi
cian said, they were holding the
county fair, and a show would pay.
He had "worked the fairs," and
knew.
But, instead of going there, he
led Aladdin into a deep valley. Ar
rived at a rock, the magician, by
some magic spell (for he was a
capita. speller), opened a great
hole in the ground as though he
had been an earthquake, much to
the surprise and alarm of Aladdin.
Then the magician, facetiously re
marking that it was a fine opening
for a young man, ordered Aladdin
to descend and bring him a cer
tain lamp he would find there,
threatening the direst penalties if
he failed to comply.
"Now, see here, old man," said
Aladdin, "fun is fun, and I 'like
fun as well as anybody; but aint
this running it into the ground ?"
There being no help for it, he
descended, first receiving the ma
gician's magic ring, together with
instructions. But wasn't it cruel
to take A-ladd-in so?
It was a magic cavern, of course,
and filled with fruits and vegeta
bles, of the finest gold, as they
always are. He saw more gold
"turnips" than a watch factory
could turn out in ten years; car
ro to two-hundred and fifty carats
- fine; gold cabbages equal to any
cabbages that have been made on
- the National Treasury, and dia
mond squashes worth money
enough to squash all the indict
ments found by our united grand
juries. WVhen he saw an orchard
a full of golden apples he exclaimed,
"Here's just old fruit," and filled
his pockets with them.
Finding the lamp, he returned
to the entrance of the cavern, and
asked the magician to help him
Sout.
r "Not until you give me the
a lamp," was the reply.
a "Then you won't get it," retorted
, Aladdin, who feared some trick,
I. which so enraged the man of
magic that he threw down the t
stone which closed the cavern,
shutting the poor boy in. Heo
took on, of course, as any boy na- Ir
turally would under the circum- t
stances, weeping and rubbing his c
hands, but in doing so he rubbed I
the magic ring, when an immense I
Genie appeared.
"Who are you ?" said Aladdin. t
"I am slave of the ring,"'replied
the Genie.
"What ring? Whiskey ring ?"
This rather offended the Genie,
as he was a prohibitionist, and one
of the most reputable Genie under
ground. But he explained he was
compelled to do whatever the pos
sessor of the ring required, sub
ject only to the Constitution of
the United States.
"Then get me out of this," said
Aladdin, "and take me home,"
which the Genie did in less time
than it takes to write these lines,
set up the type, print the paper,
andl put up the mails. He was
hungry, and his mother had no
thing in the house to eat. "But
here is the lamp you brought
home," said she. "I will clean it,
and perhaps it will bring some
thing." It did. It brought an
other member of the Genie family,
as she rubbed it, who announced
himself as "Slave of the Lamp,"
and said he followed the business
of waiting upon anybody who pos
sessed it. What did they wish?
"Dinners for two!" shouted
Aladdin, as though he was in a
cheap restaurant, with unbounded
credit. "And, mind you, give us
plenty of fresh vegetables-green
corn if you have got it." In an
instant a banquet was spread be
fore them of the richest descrip
tion, and on plates of gold. From
that time they boarded in this
manner, Aladdin disposing of the
gold plate at a pawnbroker's and
playing with the money at keno.
He just kept that Genie humping.
Probably no Genie that ever lived
was so overworked as this one
was. He wouldn't be at home in
his cavern an hour any time a day
before Aladdin would rub the
lamp for something, when Mr.
Genie had to GIT, muttering as he
did, "Ay, there's the rub!" Besides
bringing his meals to his room
(for which he couldn't have the
privilege of even charging him
extra) he had to fetch his morning
cocktail and black his boots.
What a degradation for a born
Genie-us !
At length Aladdin aspired to
marry the Sultan's daughter, who
was very beautiful. His mother
attempted to dissuade him from
it. She reminded him that be
was only the son of a poor tailor,
and advised him to be content
with some respectable seamstress.
But he insisted, and actually in
duced the old lady to go to the
Sultan and demand his daughter's
hand in marriage for her son,
which was very insulting to the
Sultan.
Gold and diamonds did the bus
iness, however, as they do yet and
Ialways will until there is a radical
cI hange in valuations; and Aladdin
married the princess. He built
Sher a magnificent palace in one
night-or his Genie did-on a
vacant lot owned by her father,
I that had a frontage of 100 feet on
the principal street, and was 200
feet deep. (The Sultan had re
fused $200 a front foot for the lot,
repeatedly.) And then they pro
I ceeded to live happily.
But one day a circus came to
I town, and connected with one of
the side-shows was the wicked a
magician. He saw the palace, and i
heard that it was put up in one I
night by Aladdin, and divined the f
truth at once. The Genie, Slave I
of the Lamp, must have been the I
boss carpenter! He devised a
plan for obtaining the lamp. He t
got some bran-new ones and went I
to the palace when Aladdin was
away, crying "New lamps for old," i
when one of the kind girls traded I
off the magic lamp, ignorant of its
value as of everything else, thus
making Aladdin a lamp-liihtler
(than he was) the magician, as- 1
sisted by the Genie, transported 1
the palace, together with the orin- i
cess, to the heart of Africa-one
of the most remarkable instances
of riches taking wings, that has
ever fallen under my observation.
Aladdin searched high and low
(to say nothing of Jack and the
game) for his missing wife and t
real estate, and in sheer despera
tion he at length joined an expe- I
dition about to penetrate to the
interior of Africa to search for Dr. I
Livingstone. He did not find the 1
Dr., but he did his palace. He
communicated secretly with his e
wife. She drugged the magician's
"bitters" one night, and got pos- c
session of the lamp for Aladdin, e
and by its means the palace was E
transported back to Arabia, tho' t
it was no more transported than i
Mr. and Mrs. Aladdin were at
getting home.
All lived happily after that, ex- I
cept the wicked magician, who, as t
a punishment for his eccentricities, i
was compelled to be confined at I
hard labor all his life as a comic I
writer.
-~.·--
COLFAr, GRArT PARISH, LA.,
July 17, 1876. 1
Editor CunoeNICr :
With your permission I propose 1
to consider our town and its sur
roundings, in the past, present and
future. Like all other towns,
Colfax has had its day of tribula
tion, created in times of high poli
tical excitement. It was a legiti
mate rest.lt that the political par
ties should contend for suprem
acy in controling the political
bearing of the parish. The names
given the parish and the town
were distasteful to the white citi
zens of the new pariah of Grant,
and in the struggle for place and
power, much bitter feeling was en
- gendered. The struggle was long
i and fierce, and finally culminated
in what is known as the Colfax
riot. I do not propose to consider
the causes in detail that led to
r that unfortunate affair, nor to pass
i upon its merits or demerits
9 Suffice to say that it has given to
our town and parish rather a pub
t lic as well as unenviable reputa
tion, from which we are now,
Phoenix-like, just emerging; and
we would ask from the public that
s the mantel of charity be thrown
, over our shortoomings, and that a
e liberal extension of time be allow
ed us for reformation. To-day we
-are a reconstrcted' soeial people.
I In no town within nry knowledge
1 is there more good feeling or more
a tolerance of opinion. Our people
t meet and discuss the general
e topics'of the day-political, agri
s culture, and other subjects-just
as they did of yore, with no bit
a terness or acrimony, and we are,
0 in truth, a happy and prosperous
people. The tomahawk has been
, buried and we smoke the calumnet
- of peace, secure under the foliage
of our own vine and fig tree. So
a much for the past.
,f The present is indeed encour
aging; we have no cause of com- de
plaint; the husbandman sees in ai
his broad fields the prospects of di
full reward for his labors; the w
merchant looks forward with at
bright anticipation in the future, A
and all classes are jubilant over lii
the brilliant prospects of a rich g
harvest. ti
The future of our town and par- ft
ish is, indeed, cheering. The sl
town of Colfax is located on the ww
magnificent estate of the late Mrs. h
M. E. Calhoun, and now the prop- oc
erty of her children. Mr. W. S. fl
Calhoun and his sister, and no o
where in the valley of Red River se
is to be found a more picturesque in
or richer country. Every pro- as
duct necesary to the sustenance Ut
of man or beast, is grown in en- tl
perabundance, with the least ima- st
ginable labor, holding out rare be
and unsurpassed inducements to at
the agriculturist in quest of a good as
home and with becoming liberality ti
none are sent away empty, who if
desire to make their homes in this to
parish. Lands are rented, capa- w
ble of producing from one to one P
and a half bales of cotton per acre, be
and corn from thirty to forty bar- di
rels per acre, at the nominal sum he
of from four to five dollars per ti
acre; and a cordial invitation is at
extended to all who desire to cal- w
tivate the soil, to cast their lots ti
with us. a
The health of the country is un- b
exceptional; the depleted pocket- si
books and tattered appearance of d
the disciples of Aesculapius speaks bi
in language too plain to be mis- b
understood. That ours is empha- d
tically b healthy country, two tl
seedy members of Galilea hold on o
to the legal horn of our dilemma, d
and while they are engaged in a
their depositions, they are willing d
to sever citizens. Unfortunately for e
them, like Othello, their occupa- 0
tion is gone; and, if any, it is in e
homoepathic doses that it neither a
pays them or injures anyone else, w
showing exclusively that we are p
a law-abiding people. r
MonE Axon. t
The Frenchman's Bow,
There are many theories on this a
subject; there have been many h
professors of the noble science of t
salutation; there are, even in these o
degenerated days, differences of t
opinion as to the exact nature and a
ordination of the movements which t
compose a bow; but the generally a
adopted practice of the best mod- v
ern schools is after this wise :
When you meet a lady that you
know, you begin, four yards off, I
by calmly raising your outside L
arm, right or left, as the case may
be. There must be no precipation
in the movement, and the arm
must be maintained at a short dis
tance from the body, with a sort of
roundness in its curveand motion;
that is, it rust not come up too
direct, and especially not too fast.
When the hand arrives at the level
- of the bat rim it must seize it
lightly, slightly, with about half
the length of the fingers; it must
slowly lift the hat, and slowly
carry it out in the airto the fullest
Slength of the gradually extended
I straightened arm, but not in front,
it must go sideways, horizontally
Sfrom the chest, and on a level
with the shoulder; this part of the
operation must last several sec
onds. Simultaneously the hat
must be turned over, by a calcula
tted gradual movement, in exact
proportion to the progress of its
passage through the atmosphere:
so that, starting perpendicularly
with the crown upward, it may
describe a semi-circle on its road,
and reach the extreme limit of its
distance at the precise instant
when it has become upside down,
and the Ifning gazes at the skies.
At the instant when the hat is
lifted from the head, the body be
gins slightly to bend, the inflec
tion being so organized that the
full extent of curving of the spine
shall be attained concurrently
with the greatest distance of the
hat. A slight respectful smile is
oontemporaneously permitted to
flutter furtively about the corners
of the mouth. Then the hat comes
slowly sweeping back again, its
inward motion presenting the ex
act inverse of its outward journey;
the back grows straight one more,
the smile disappears, the hat re
sumes its accustomed place, the
bow is over, the face grows grave,
and you, the author of that noble
act, murmur within yourself, "I
think I did that rather well." But
if the lady should stop to speak
to you (she alone can determine
whether the conversation can take
place out of doors), you remain
bare-headed; the arm is slowly
dropped till the now forgotten hat
hangs vacantly against the knee;
the back continues somewhat bent;
and when the talk is over-when,
with a half courtesy and inclina
tion of the head, the lady trips
away-the bending of the body
becomes more profound, the hat
starts off once more to the full
distance which the arm can cover,
but a rather lower attitude than
before, it executes a majestic ra
diating sweep through p and
then goes on to the a d all is
over. Written de n ren
ders the whole pr mewhat
absurd, but the impressioik is very
different when the act itself is
contemplated. MIodern manners
offer scarcely any form of defer
ence so grand, so thorough, so
striking in its effect, as a really
well executed bow. English peo
ple are rarely able to judge it
rightly, for their notices and prao
ticees on this subject take so dif~r
ent a form that the Frenchman
seems to them to ridiculously ex
aggerate when he superbly waves
his hat all around him; but, on
the other hand, the British fashiqtg
of salute is miserable and es.- .- 'ý
temptible in Gallic eyes, and t.
specially, utterly inexpressive ,
the courtesy and of the homage W
which men ought to manifest to
ward women. In France the very
boys know how to bow; and tho'
the nation exhibits every sort of
degree of capacity in the matter,
from the lowest, the dogma that
bowing is a really important fun
tion is believed in almost eve
where.-Black wood's Magazine. i
,., -
Casz ron Swzmn.--[Not the ed
itor of the CanoxmLI, bear in
f mind, as he 'is incurable.] "We
always doctor the shoulder, if it
shows any sign of shrinking, in
the following way: Take a firm
I hold of the skin at the top of the
*t shoulder-blade; draw it out well,
Sand then pass the small blade of a
t pocket-knife through the skin, pen
Y etrating both skins. Then take
t any stimulating liniment, or the
( yolk of an egg and a tablespoonful
o, f salt; rub them together until
y the salt is dissolved, and rub the
1 shoulder with it, using a corn-cob
e to rub it in Wt, andin a few days
- your horse will be well."
t [Now, we got the foregoing
i- from a good veterinary surgeon,
It and have a strong belief in its effi
Is cacy; but if your horses are not
. affected, we don't want you to try
Ly it on us, because we might be
by thought such a good subject]

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