The Colfax Chronicle
Published by Chronicle Ptg. Co.. Ltd.
H. G. GOODWYN, Managing Editor.
CO' a Y - - LOUISIANA
Jamaica's torrential rains ought to
mollify the ginger.
Youth has been defined as Just one
darned blunder after another.
Prophets are bum leaders. If you
dont' believe it, look at Turkey.
A Parisian hotel will be opened
without servants. Also without
Skirts slashed at the knee are the
latest fashion. Handy to get at the
Statistics show that more bachelors
than married men become insane.
Why say more?
A New York paper advises its read
ers to start a pearl farm. Still seed
pearls are expensive.
That town which seeks to bear the
name "1912"' can never hope to be up
to date next January.
Cuba certainly is learning the game.
It Is now crying fraud over the elec
tion and demanding a recount.
Money that Europe does not spend
an a general war it can invest nice
ly in buying shoes for the baby.
Our only fear of a woman in the
Isesident's cabinet is that she would
put scalloped paper on its shelves.
Army aviators have invented a
noiseless aeroplane. The harmless
one, however, is still uninvented.
A St. Louis woman threw clocks at
her husband, probably with the inten
tion of Impressing upon him the fact
that time fies.
The corset is of soma real use to
mankind after all A female imper
sonator has died because of tight lao
Now' the yoing man who took his
girl out in a canoe during the sum
mer, is taking her out on a motor
Tortoises are cultivated in the Sey
chelles island for their shell. And lob
sters are cultivated on Broadway for
The candy trust has been attacked
lo the courts. Gladsome tidings for
the young man who starts his court
ship this winter.
Keeping "a headless cat alive 12
hours" may be a triumph of medical or
surgical science, but It is awfully
hard on the cat.
The llnls supreme court wants tq
knmow whether poker is work. Too dee.
her us, but its evident that the play
es aren't salon men.
Not only do transatlantic wireless
sessaes prmlse to be much cheap
er, but they may relieve us of the
aid word "eabegram."
Statistics prove that bachelors go
nane oftewer than married men, but
may mariled man knows that bachel
as have more time for such activ
Pier Is L announces that he ad
mires the freshness of the American
girL Be is retlcent, however, concera
tog the freshness of the American
Tweat-three hundared love lettrs
were Loua among the efetM of an
Amirallan bachelor. Evidently be
dther had to die or marry to stop
Some saeletists in New York can
mw eep headless eats aive 1 hours
'" neesary." But i put to a refer
madam of normal cats it would never
A New York woman wants a divorce
besase her husband drinks cologne.
lhm can't be blamed, considerinlg the
odor of some of the concoctions
classed under that name.
Dynamiters bought alarm cloeks by
the dozen for their internal machines,
but you cannot make a commuter tb
Ileve that dynamiting was a bit too
eood for an alarm clock.
Woman "experts" who tell how to
prepare a meal for six persons for 42
seats are bringing unhappiness to
many a poor housewife who is doing
the best she can on the money her
husband hands to her.
Now a teorist thinks small girls'
Manusements tend to make them neu
rotic. But the cold materialism of the
wry is going a little too far when it
attempts to make little girls stop play
lag mother with their dolls.
A Pittsburlg woman wants a divorce
because her husband was sober twice
in twelve years. We take it that they
were not succesasive occasions.
"The Blind Banker of Paris," who
was able to get away with $2,000,000
belonging to his clients seems to have
had an eye for the main chance.
In a New York speed contest typists
g writiag from 113 to 117 words a
ma te. Stice we have observed that
lse who wrote a trast as that don't
A bh the news excites no enrvy.
PEllL IN "MOVIES"
Actors in Animated Pictures Con
tinually Risk Lives.
Being Kicked by Horses, Attacked by
Bedouins and Falling From High
Places Some of "Stunts" En
acted During Day's Work.
London.-Acting in front of the cam
era for moving pictures isn't quite as
soft a job as people not in the know
are apt to imagine, says a London cor
Grave risks have to be taken, and
more or less serious accidents are
quite common. Sometimes these evs
The other day, for example, a man
named Bittner descended in a para
chute from the Column of Victory in
Berlin, with a view to being cinemato
graphed as he was falling; but some
thing went wrong with hi! apparatus,
and the unhappy parachutist was
dashed to death.
Similarly, a picture player named
Dunn was killed on the railway last
year while acting a part. The unfor
tunate man waslonly supposed to be
run over by the approaching train, it
being the intention to substitute a
dummy figure at the last moment. But
the rails were slippery, the driver was
unable to pull up the engine in time
and the actor was mangled to death
beneath the wheels.
No one viewing on the screen the su
perb riding of pretty Alice Joyce, the
famous exponent of "cowgirl" parts in
western dramas, would suppose that
any horse could ever sugceed in
throwihg her. As a matte- of fact,
however, she was met with several
Miss Gene Gauntler, of Kansas City,
has been exceptionally unlucky. Only
quite recently she was attacked by
Bedouins in the Sahara, and had to
fight hard to get away. In Florida
she was nearly engulfed in a quick
sand. In a battle scee in "The Girl
Spy" she was kicked by a horse and
nearly killed. In another war scene
there was a premature explosion of a
caisson that hurled her unconscious,
but it made a great picture.
A naval lieutenant is another pic
ture player who has had many nar
row escapes, his la: st eiploit in this
LOVE JAILS YOUTH
Hears of Jealous Girl's Deception
and Returns to Cell
A. B. Spain, Formerly of Albion, Ind.
Violated Parole When Told Young
Woman Spurned Him-Located
at Memphis, Tenn.
Jeffersonville, Ind.-Love for a girl
and a desire to right a wrong he had
done her through a misunderstanding,
has prompted A. B. Spain, twenty
three years old, to return to the state
reformatory here to serve the remain
der of a term from which he was
paroled after a violation of that pa
Spain's story came out the other
day in Memphis, 'enn., where he had
been working for some time. He said
that he was reared on a farm near
Albion, Noble county. Several years
ago, in a prank, he, with others, stole
several bushels of corn from a neigh
boring farmer. The latter failed to
see the joke, caused the arrest of the
boys and some of them were sen
tenced to the reformatory.
Spalin, who was one of those sen
tenced, served three years and two
months of his time, and was then re
leased on his promise, among others.
not to leave the state. He returned
to Albion and continued at the trade
of a tailor, which he had begaun to
learn in a local Institution.
There wag a girl. 8pain loved her,
and finally proposed and was accept
ed. Life seemed to hold nothing but
joy. The wedding was to take place
as soon as he had saved enough
money to furnish a comfortable
home. Then one day another girl
came to him with a letter which she
said was written by his flancee. It
was as follows:
"Dear Bessie: I am going to look
for a new flame and I want you to
help me. That jailbird still thinks I
am crazy enough to marry him. He
doesn't have selse enough to know
I have been laughing at him in my
sleeves all the time."
Spain took the first train for In
dianapolis. Then he went to Loulis
ville, Ky., knowing he was violating
his promise not to leave the state,
but caring not. Finally he reached
Memphis and obtained employment.
Recently he received a letter from his
brother, with whom he had kept up a
correspondence. This told him that
the girl he had left was grieving for
him, and that the one who showed
him the note had acknowledged that
she wrote it because of Jealousy for
her more fortunate friend. "I am go
ing back and serve my time," said
Spain. "It's the square thing to do."
$25 FOR CALLING MAN A LIAR
When Jury Cleared Gerry's Grandson
of Charge His Counsel Objected,
and Verdict Is Returned.
New York.-Elbrldge Gerry Snow,
Jr., grandson of Elbridge T. Gerry,
was defendant In the supreme court in
a suit brought by George Michell, a
solicitor for a storage warehouse, to
recover $15,000 for slander. The
plaintif alleged that Mr. Snow had
TURKS FLEEING FROM PERA
Inhabitants of Peran, the chief residential section of Constantinople, are
here seen loading their household belongings on boats preparatory to flee
ing. while others on the roof are watching the smoke of the conflict at
direction being a fall from a high cliff
near Brighton. Once, too, he was bad
ly wounded in a sword duel with a
picture player antagonist. Of course
the injury was quite unintentional and
Alfred Brighton, a clever young
American picture player, lost his life
in the Hudson river a year, ago. He
had to leap into the water and res
cue a -girl who was supposed to be
drowning. While swimming toward
called him "' dirty thief and a liar" in
the presenc3 of another employe of
the wareiou e.
Mrs. Sno, whom the ci bman mar
ried a few days after his divorce from
his first wife, testified that soon aft
er her husband had sailed for Europe
in the summer of 1910 Mrs. Mitchell
agreed that the warehouse which he
represented would move her furniture
and statuary for $360. When she found
her furniture in the house at 185
Riverside drive she was so much
pleased with the work that she pre
sented Mitchell with a gold tie lasp
and gave five dollars apiece to his
She and her husband were not so
pleased when the bill came, for it
amounted to $660. Mitchell explain
ed on the stand that the increased
cost over the estimate was because he
had received orders originally to
pack the furniture for storage, and
had had several men busy for 20 days
doing the' work.
The jury at first brought in a ver
diet for the defendant. Couasel for
both sides admitted that the plaintiff
was entitled to a verdict, and asked
that the jury be sent back. They re
turned a few minutes with a verdiot
Girls Wear Gaudy Hose.
Marshalltown. la.-Thirteen high
school girls who went to elass wear
ing hosiery of gaudy hue, intending it
as a joke, were sent home to make a
change to more somber shade.
MAN HAS $500,000 STOMACH
Diamond Jim Brady of New York Con
tent With a Thirty-Cent
New York.-Dlamond Jim Brady, the
world's only possessor of a $500,000
stomach, eats 30-cent lunches. Some
times, just to remind himself of the
old days, he goes to the Astor house
and spends from 80 cents to $1.
"But," he said, "I can get all I
want for 30 cents."
This fact became known when an
investigation into the amounts spent
by rich men for meals was under
taken following the complaint of a
"much worried wife" that her husband
spent $65 per week for luncheon.
Brady recently gave to Johns Hop
kins university endowments and funds
approximating $500,000 in grateful ac
knowledgment to the surgeons for giv
ing him a new stomach. Previous to
that time he had been as famous for
his gastronomical achievements as for
the blazing diamonds that adorn his
waistcoats, shirts and underwear.
Asked what he spent on an average
for luncheon, "Diamond Jim" answer
ed with alacrity that the amount was
from 80 cents to $1 when he went
to the Astor house.
"If I send out for something to eat,"
he continued, "I can get all I want for
30 cents. I am spending more today
because I am entertaining three
friends. This meal will probably cost
$6.60, and it's a good one.
"I think that a man san get all he
wlnts for six dollars a week-that I.
her he was observed to throw up his
arms, sink once or twice and struggle
frantically on coming to the surface.
The spectators on the bank applaud
ed wildly, imagining it to be part of
the performance, and the operator
kept turning the handle of his ma
chine, while shouting to the drowning
man to "Keep it up!" Only when he
had sunk for the third and last time
did anybody even begin to suspect that
anything was wrong.
LIVING HIGH 1,800 YEARS AGO
Greek Manuscript Also Tells of Bad
Trusts That Existed at Thea
,Philadelphia, P.-According to the
authorities at the University of Penn.
sylvania museum, the high cost of liv
ing and excessive transportation rates
were as much a problem in Theadel
phia, a small city in Egypt, 1,800 years
ago as they are today in the United
In an ancient Greek manuscript Lost
deciphered by the museum's experts
a collector of internal revenue tells of
the gratt and excessive profits de
manded by the trust magnates sad po
litical leaders of those days. He be
lieved ther would be little hope for
future ge4rtions i fighting' the
FORM "STAY AT HOME CLUB"
A. G. Vanderbilt, Philip Lydig and
F. O. Beach Among Organlzatike's
New York---The Stay at Home dlb.
which alms to prove to the world that
the wealthy New Yorker reslj loves
his home and desires to peas as many
evenings as possible at his own fre
side with his wife and family, has fast
been organised here with Alfred
Gwynne Vanderbilt. Philip ldIg.
Sidney Colford, F. O. Beach sad other
well known young millionaires as
charter members. The ldub earo to
life, it is said, as the result of a din
nor party argument as to whether
the modern man found more pleasure
at his club than in his home.
all that's good for him. With a dol
lar luncLeon I feel better thau the
man who spends ten dollars for a
midday meaL If I send out from my
ofce I get a sandwich and a glass
of milk. That's a pretty good luncheon
even for a man as big as I am."
DOG'S DOCTOR BILL $3,000
Pug, Twenty Years Old, Dies Despite
That, and Real Funeral Is Held
Neighbors Send Flowers.
Cincinnati, O.-A funeral that would
have been appropriate for any human
being in more than moderate circum
stances was accorded Monkey, a pug
do5 owned by Mrs. Harry Jackson of
this city, wb~ch was buried in a lot
provided by a humane society of this
The dog was laid out in a beautiful
comn in the best room of the Jacksoa
home. It was twenty years old and
had traveled nearly 50,000 miles with
During the last twelve years Mon
key had been in ill health, and dur
ing that time Mrs. Jackson spent over
$3,000 trying to restore her pet In la
ter days four veterinary surgeons were
in almost constant attendance.
Mrs. Jackson was preparing to send
for a specialist when death ensued
Flowers were sent by neighbors to
the dog's funeral. The body was con
veyed isn hearse to the smetery and
four carrises tlowed.
Feared Nebraska May Succeed Texas a' Hoodoo
W ASHINGTON.-"Naval omcers are
guessing whether the United
State battleship Nebraska, which ran
upon an uncharted shoal a short time
ago, is going to take the place of the
ill-fated Texas, later named San Mar
cos, which was the hoodoo ship of
the navy," rDmarked Captain L& I1
Darbey, a retired naval oBmcer, the
other day. "Ill luck pursued the Texas
almost from the beginnins, and it
seemed that it was never out of trou
ble during all the time it was in com
mission. except at the battle of San
tiago, where it did great work.
"Before the Spanish-American war
the Texas while being overhauled at
the Brooklyn navy yard was sunk, be
cause the yokes its sea cocks were
broken in the course of repairs, and
the water poured in Just as if the
boat has been scuttled. The Texas
sank, as everybody klows, and was
raised as soon as possible. It was on
that occasion that Captain Jack Phil
lips, one of the bravest and best naval
Enterprising Sam Conserves the Natural Resources
1 F Skm Lee should put a big gilt
sign bearing the words, "Electrical
Chinese Laundry," on the front of his
little shop, at 3108 F'ourteenth street.
Northwest, any time in the near fu
ture, his customers in Mount Pleas
ant would not be at 1all surprised.
In fact, a number of those who in
trust their neglige to the tender mio
istrations of the affable Celestial have
been wondering for some time why
Sam has neglected such a splendid
opportunity for a bit of advertis
But although Sam has been reia
venated to the extent where he real
izes that electrical power is much
stronger, cheaper, and more eflicient
in the long ran than the muscles and
sinews of the human arms and back.
he has not awakeped to the wonders
of the "ads."
Sam is a typical specimen of the
"new" Chinaman-the product of that
stirring spirit which caused the an
cient empire to become transformed
into a republic in a remarkably short
period, and with the loss of only a
few' hundred heads sad other lace
Sam is wideawake and alert, sad
in the "Melican lang" he is "oa the
He Wants a Wif', and Wants Her DoubeQuick
known as August sbaeeelky de
Makkadel de Castellae, one time
dentist to the bey of TaaI and his
barem, wants a wife,'aa wants he-U
double-quick. He has from now u
tl January 1 to persuade a Amenl
ean girl to marry him, or b will fo
felt a legacy of 156,009 pal.seed by
a California woman.
An aunt, fermerly of Oakland, Cal.,
told him five years ago that if he
would earn "somethins worth while
and capture an Aiberoan for a wife,"
she would give him $150,000.
Seymore is a relative of the Cas
tellane family made famos by the
marital difcalties of Count Boeal.
In Dbubt as to Mr. Wilson's Mode of Locomotion
SUfST at preet Washington is won
d ering whether It will soon behold
a president of the United States roll
ing leIsurel by a his biyele. It has
Just come out that the president-elect
is fond of tlat jamser of locomotion.
He has gonea Ibs vacation, pro
poses to sped a prt of It rldit on
his wheel He has pedaled overmany
miles of English and continental
roads in this fashion and ltes it.
Time was when Washington was filed
with eminent men and women awheel,
but they have all vanished save one,
Assistant Secrtary of State A. A.
Adee. He Is the permanent assistant
secretary of state, a man who sticks
to his own notions about things. Ev
ery summer he voyages to Europe and
spends a month or so bicycling to
places of interest. He and the new
presidcet should establish oordial re
lations very early.
It as president Gov. Wilsoa wants
to "bike" around, WasbinJon, he will
not want or goo$ roads. They stretch
in every dirbetioS, except totard Vir
gis The seer; servied men who
gadm hti, of arsM, wouid salm s ave
··:·~~~~ ~ ~ ~ ,,;~.. . '·· -: ·.
ofcers, by the way, that ever tro ai
bridge, had some fun with MhUtisi
Bob Evans, at that time comamnd3I
the Iowa. When the Texas was raised
it was found that in the hull werel
thousands of eels that had been sck-i
ed through the open sea cocks. Know
ing catain Evans's fondness for eels
Phillips had a lot of them sent over}
to the Iowa. He was somewhat sm'
prised a day later to receie a note ofI
acknowledgment from his brother or-,
cer, which read: 'The eels were fae.,
Jack; sink her again.'
"It was Jack Phillips. you may re.
member, who, after the great naval!
battle of Santiago, when the Spuansh
battleships were lying on the shores'
of Cuba smoking from the shot of the
American ships, solemnly said to his
men: 'Don't cheer, boys; the poor A
devils are dying.'
"Jack Phillips was one of the brav
est, and at the same time most relig
ious, naval oficers I ever knew. He
was the direct opposite of Bob Evans,,
but the two were great friends. Thee
Texas, you know, was afterward
named the San Marcos, and was the
target for gun practice a few months
ago. It was a ttiUl end for a good!
old ship that had always been n har
luck. except at the time when it was
most needed. I say, I wender it the
Nebraska is going to take the PWi
of the Teas as the hoodoo sp
Job." Therefore, when an enterprising
salesman revealed the wonders of
a new and ingenious device for
irou!ng clothes at the cost of but little
perspiration, less physical energy,
practically no mental waste, and only
a few cents a day in the cost of power,
Sam said: "I buy him."
Now Sam irons with in electrical
Iron which saves him so. a.uy hum
dreds of steps a day between th'
stove and his Ironing table. Father,
the iron is so arraed that by pun.
tag a string he releases a w ht
which bears down on the top of the
irm and relieves him of that duty.
Detter stll, the palling of another
strig liEft the iron just the ight
aheight above the board and Sami does
not h*ve to lift it and put it on the
oldiubloned iron bolder.
Be Is now la Wastomton, wre be
expeob to remain satl he laS "the
woman" that his sunt told -him bh
must have beore be is enttlled to her
money. He heo letred, rtt!
ioed dentastry and s yufeer
French army. In a witfe he wedlbv
"I used to believe in my amsthers
view of marag- t lh a .ge of
the eye-bet I have eaoe 1t 4to vlra
of the marre of earne on" msaM Ow
mores. "Mother salt that mtriage
progressed from the stage et atkc
Ita, or buying, a woman to the wooing
of a woman regarded Ia a 4a )r
sa. and the winning of He wls.
tlow I feel that the mauueo Of
the eye p the result of the seaUtimen
talktyof youth uad Immaturity. B
tsr Is that marriage where the coras
are partners habms, sharls, every
thing alike. I don't believel t the
marria`e where the man has the maon
ey and 'for his wits to ask
him for everr cent she gets.
"Rather, there should be a balance
of power, so that the man and the
woman are on an absolutely equal
footing as regards 'money. morals,
pleasures sad sorrows.*
to be moauted. but that is only an
incident. They have been accustomed
to following the president on motor
eycles and sometime In an automo
btle of their own. If the new presi
dent takes to bicycling, however. of
cial Washington will do likewise. That
is a way omeial Washington has. If
Gov. Wilson goes out much awbeel, it
will not be long before embassadors
and ministers and secretaries and mil
itary attaches will also be pedaling
along the sleeky-olled roads and.
dodging satomobiles. Cabinet oicials
sad congressmen will do likewise.
The revival of bicycling among the
we4tpdo may be expected somewhat
ail Mov the oeeut
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