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VOL. IX, LAKE PROVIDENCE, EAST CARROLL PARISH, LA., ~SATURDAY, APRIL 3, 1897. ;:'.
Bin Is a gaudy insect on the wing
A bright dream hold to thrill a sense
And in the bloom wo do not feel the sting
lovealed at lest in bitter, withered fruit.
'Tis nobler to withstand the sudden blast,
Then lot it b!ow thee whorosoe'er it will;
And strength is added unto what thou hast
In toilin4 up, not sliding down, the hilL
-B. N. Saunders,tn the Nation's Magazine.
WOMAN is in the
surgery, sir, and
says she must see
you at once."
I looked up from
my paper at the
speaker - Mar y,
with a weary sigh.
The life of a doo
tor is not, to use a
time- v orn, and
sahor:sm, " all
beer and skitles,"
and certainly mine
on that day had
not been. Sickness was very preva
lent in Colbourne, and the ills of
4000 inhabitants were in the hands of
,two doctors. Besides, there had been
an outbreak of small-pox among the
navvies engaged in cutting a new rail
way to join the Colbourne terminus,
and of late we had had our hands
"Did the person send in her name?"
"No, sir ; she said I was to look sharp
and ask you to come at once-she re
peated 'at once,' sir; and, oh, there
was an awful look in her eyes."
I rose and went to the surgery, and
there found a young woman. She did
not reply to my greeting, but at once
plunged into the object of her mission.
Her husband, Bill Crossland, had met
with an accident on a cutting of the
new railway, and had been brought
home on a stretcher in a "bad way."
"I will be with your husband in a
few mimutes," I replied, seeing that
the nature of the case demanded my
The woman left me, and procuring
what I thought neccessary, I hurried
to the squalid J ard in which Bill Cross
land lived. Colbourne, like many
other small towns, had slums almost
as bad as some of those which we are
told exist in the East End of Lon
don, where fevers and other pesti
lences thrive like weeds in an ill kept
garden. The houses in this yard
were rickety, and some of them filthy
I found the injured man lying on a
sofa, which had been improvised into
a bed. An old woman was attending
to his wants, and by the fireplace an
elderly man-a navvy, stood. As I
approached the bed, he left the house.
My patient was a strong, lusty-looking
fellow, with an almost black complex
ion, crisp black hair and mustache.
I speedily examined his injuries, and
found them of a serious nature. His
ribs had been severely crushed, and a
portion of one had penetrated a lung.
But be bore up with wonderful cour
age, and scarcely emitted a groan
when I handled him. Having done
everything possible for his comfort.
I prepared to leave the house, at the
same time beckoning to his wife to
follow me, with the idea of warning
her of the danger her husband was in.
The injured man noticed the motion,
and called me.
"Doctor," he said faintly, "there's
one thing I want to know. Now tell
me-am I done for ?",
The question was so pointedly put
that it quiet upset my equilibrium,
I began to hesitate in my evasive an.
swer to him, but he quickly stopped
"Look here, doctor," he said, in a
most determined tone, "I'm a-going to
hear the truth from you afore you go.
I'll hive it out o' you, or 1'll limb it
out, I will l" and his black eyes
gleamed like burning coals.
Again I remonstrated with him, but
he would not heed me, and at last his
"You can tell Bill anythin', sir."
she said. "Let him know if he's got
to pass in his cheeks, and mayba he'll
prepare for it. It's none too good a
life he's lived," and she jerked her
thumb over her shoulnider at the recum
'Well, then," I replied, "I may as
welt be frank. The fact is, I enter
tain very little hope of your husband's
"Ye hcar that, Bill? Doctor says
yer to pass in yer checks, so just yer
git reddy and do it I"
I was amazed at her cold-blooded
"I know'd it, lass I I know'd it I"
Bill replied. "Doctor I" I turned to
the bed. "Sit down. Martha, Iring
the doctor a chair," and the old wo
man placed one clob to the bed for me.
When I had seated myself-for I
thought It best to humor him-he
looked round the room and said:
"Now, I'm a-goin' to make a con
feassion. Don't any of yer git inter
raptin', 'cause I can't speak so welL"
He paused, and then went on:
"Breath seems terrible short l"
Then, turning his head to me, he re
marked: "Yer remember that 'ere
aoident to Jem Barker nigh on a
twelvemonth sin' ?"
I nodded; for I recollected it per
fectly. One of the drivers in the tan
nel just outside the town had slipped
and fallen on a rail in the dark.- A
load of earth had passed over his body,
breaking his back, and death had re
salted almost instantly. He was
found shortly afterward, and the
coroner's jury returned a verdiot of
"Well," the injured man parsaed,
"that 'ere aooident wor no. acoident I
It wetor summat elmse. I had better tell
e that Jem Barker and I wer mates;
e wNe'ealled 'Osle' 'mose he
could swaller so much drink-like
soap suds down a sough, as the sayin'
is. I wor called 'Darkie,' 'cause-well,
ye can see why if ye look at my
physog. 1 could do a fairish drop'o
liquor at times, but the wast of it wor
that we both wcr fond o' the same gell,
that's Liz o'er yonder ;" and he nodded
in the direction of his wife, who was
seated on a box which stood beneath a
window. Her eyes were fixed on the
"Liz !" he suddenly exclaimed and
with somewhat more energy than he
had displayed in his narrative, for his
breath had failed him several times,
"Liz, LizI don't look at me like that!
I canna bear it I canna l" and he
broke off into a long groan.
His wife dropped her eyes, but still
sat like a statue, with her hands
clasped in her lap. The injured man
struggled for breath, antid then wFnt
"I know'd Liz wor fond o' Jem,
'cause he wor fair and handsome, but
I loved her the bestest. Ay, though
we be navvies, doctor, we can love
only some people thinks as how we
just pair off like! But they're wrong.
Well, to be gettin' on wi' my story.
Liz 'ere had no eyes for me when Jem
wor about, and I got jealous. All the
old friendship 'tween me and Jem wor
gone on my side, and 1 began to hate
'im. The crisis caiue one night when
I meets Liz a-comin' from the tunnel,
which wor then bein' bored. I wor on
day duty, and Jem wor workin' at
nights, 'cause then we worked day and
night in shifts. She had taWen him
down some supper, and I could see how
things wor goin'. So I up and tells
her of me love, and axes her to
marry me. Liz treated me bet
ter 'an I thowt she would have;
she just says, 'Bill, I don't
dislike ye, but I like Jem better, and
I've promised 'im.' I wor furious
thee'st remember it, I dessay, Liz
but she jurst turns on 'et heel and
walks off, sayin' as when the drink wor
in the wit wor out! I had had drink,
thee know'st. I went down to the
tuanel and meets Jem a-comin'out wi'
a truck o' muck-we call earth muck,
thee know'st. I didna let him see that
I wor angry, so I just jokes wi' him
like. As I wor goin' through the tun
nel a thowt struck me; if I wor just to
come up behind Jem, and gi'e 'im a
push in front of the truck, it would
perhaps lame 'im, and then perhaps
Liz would na be bothered wi' a lame
chap. I left the tunnel and went
'ome, but I didna sleep that 'ere night.
Next day 1 took Jem's place driving,
and 'twere then I worked out my
plans. Thee know'st there be timbers,
called side trees, on each side to sup
port the roof o' the tunnel 'til the
brickies take the work in hand, and I
thowt as how, if I wor to hide in one
of them just in the darkest place, and
when Jem comes on just put out my
'and and gie him a push, it would do
all I wanted. I shanna forget that 'ere
day! The idea growed cu me, and
when I loft work, I made up my mind
to do it. So I walks down about 9
o'clock the same night, and just as I
reached the open cutting, I heerd Jem
wish Liz good night. I wor fair mad
wi' jealousy. I had murder in my
'art. Keoepin' out o' sight o' Liz, I
creeps down just in time to see Jem
take the horses back into the tunnel
to bring a load o' muck up. I creeps
down in the darkest part, and past
the shed where Bob Dalton wor pump.
in' air into the tunnel, wi'out bein'
seen. I know'd every inch o' the
place, and I 'ad made up my mind wheer
to hide. I soon sound it, 'cause I 'ad
put a big stone theer. Besides, I 'ad
picked out a spot which wor always
wet, 'cause of a spring which we had
tapped above, which wor always run
nin'. Then it strikes me as how, if I
wor to put the stone in Jem's path, he
might stumble o'er it; so I puts it
theer. I 'adna long to wait afore em
comes down the tunnel, which wor a
bit on the incline.
"My 'art begins to thump uj.til I
wor afraid Jem mignt 'ear it, but just
then he comes up to, wheer I had put
the stone. He stumbled o'er it, and
the horse swerved a little, but he
nearly recovered hisself, and so Iputs
out my hand and gently pushes 'im.
He falls down on the line, and the
truck goes o'er 'im, 'cause I heerd 'im
groan. I slipped behind the tragk,
and out again into the cutting wi'out
bein' seed, and bunked off back to the
town. I wor scaredl Next mornin'I
heerd as how Jem 'ad net wi' a acci
dent, and that he had stumbled o'er a
stone, supposed to have tumbled from
a truck afore his, and the truck 'ad
broke his back. I wor a bit sorry at
fust, and then I liegins to be afraid
they might trace it to me. But Isaid
nowt to nobody, and the inquest said
as how 'twere a accident, and I didna
trouble myself. Then Liz and I wor
spliced, and though we havens pulled
together both the same way, yet I
would 'a done anythin' for her ! Thee
know'st it, dostSna, Liz?"
The woman looked up Her face
was pale in the extreme; her black
eyes blazed, and her fingers twitched.
She rose and approached the bedside.
"Murderer !"she hissed between her
"Liz! Liz 1" the man's voice broke
in imploring sobs. "Forgive me I
Forgive me! Doctor," and he turned
with a piteous look to me, "ax her to
The woman was standing with her
hands clenched, and her eyes gleam
ing-a statue of Fury. I then no
ticed, for the first time, that she was a
remarkably handsome woman, though
rather coarse. I went round the bed
"Mrs. Crossland," I said quietly,
"your husband may not live through.
out the night. Do not let him go
from this world to the next, whatever
it may have in store for him, without
your forgiveness. Don't you remem
ber the old prayer, 'Father, forgive
us our trespasse, as we forgive those
who trespass against us' ?"
The fury gradually dsed out, of the
woman's f£*, h i hand. ualenhed~
and tears welled into her eyes. Her
bosom heaved as if suppressed sobs
were almost bursting it; then, as
though the effort were too much, she
dropped on ier knees beside the bed
and sobbed a'oad.
Crossland -was fast sinking; his
breath came in difficuit gasps, and his
dark visage grew almost ashy pale.
"Liz ! Liz !" he murmured faintly,
"do you forgive me?"
Still the woman sobbed on. Her
grief was poignant-was it for the sin
fulness of her husband or for the mem
ory of her past love? 1 asked myself.
At last the paroxysm of tears spent it
self and the woman became calmer,
though she still knelt with her face
hidden in her hands. I bent over her
and whispered :
"Mrs. Crossland, one word to make
him happy. lie's dying! Remember
the prayer, 'Forgive us our tres
She raised her head. There was a
new light shining on- the tear-stained
"Yes," she returned, "we should
forgive. Year ago, when I went to a
Sunday-school, I was told that! But
'tis hard, sir-so hard-'cause I lcved
Jem so, and 'im I didna care-"
"Hush I" I raised a warning finger.
"His life is ebbing away. Come, Mrs.
The name came very faintly. Cross
land's hand strayed over the coverlet,
and I took hers and placed it within
his. She rose, and bending over the
murderer pressed a long kiss upon his
forehead. He opened his eyes and
met hers, and there he read his for
giveness. A smile of peace and con
tentment illuminated his features; he
slowly closed his eyes and sighed, and
on that sigh the stained soul of Darkie
Crossland floated over the border to
that land from which no traveler roe
turns. -Household Words.
A Washington Story.
It is one of the stook Washington
stories, but it is many moons since it
has been in print. It is "vouched
for" as a perfectly true episode in the
career of Mr. Stratford Canning, Min
ister to our country in the '20s. He
was the famous Prime Minister Can
ning's cousin, and afterwards won the
title of Viscount Stratford de Red
clyffe. On a r:aging, pouring January
night the British Minister was about
stepping into his carriage for a state
dinner at the White House when the
axletree snapped like a match. There
was no time to lose, and away trotted
the coachman with the horses to the
nearest livery stable with orders to
return at once with any kind of a ve
hicle. The stableman had sent out
everything he had on wheels-car
riages being in demand that night
except his hearse. It did not take
long for the coachman to make up his
mind, so the horses were clapped to
the hearse, and in five minutes it
dashed up to the Minister's door.
There he stood, watch in hand, wait
ing in agony for the vehicle, and when
the hearse rattled up, in he stepped,
with o sigh of relief, and lying down
flat on iis back was bowled along at a
slashing gait to the White House.
When the hearse rolled up to the
door, naturally it made a sensation,
which was increased when a live man
crawled out of it. The climax came
when the dinner was over, when the
departing guests were assembled in
the White House lobby. The car
riages were called in a stentorian
voice. "The Secretary of State's car
riage The Secretary of War's car
riagel The Attorney General's car
riage I The British Minister's hearse I"
And up rumbled the hearse, and in
climbed the Minister, and off fared
the equipage, the Minister lying on
his back with British calmness. -Il
IforribleExhibition of'Turkish Brntality
From "A Bystander's Notes of a
Massacre," by Yvan Troshine, in Scrib
ner's, we quote as follows:
"One horrible occurrence took
place while I was crossing the bridge
about half past twelve on Thursday.
An old gentleman, an Armenian,
stood at the ticket office of the steam
boat company, buying his ticket to go
to the upper Bosphoru A 'police
man came up and rather roughly
searched his person. rhe old gentle
man naturally remonstrated with some
warmth. The policeman instantly
knocked him down. The poor old
man picked himself up, and the po
liceman knocked him down again.
Upon this a Turkish army officer came
out of a ctfee shop, and rebuked the
policeman for his brutality to an old
man. To justift himself the police
man declared that the old man had
cartridges in his pocket. Then some
one yelled ,"Kill the Giaour!" In a
moment a crowd of ruffians sprang
forward from, no one knows what
lurking places and in less time than
it takes to tell it they had beaten out
the old man's brains on the
planks in front of the steamer wharf.
Two small Armenian boys stood by,
paralyzed with terror at this sudden
exhib:tion of passions of whish they
had no idea. One of the bludgeon
men noticed them and shouted out
'These also are Armenians!l' In a mo
ment more the crying, pleading boys
had been beaten to death before the
eyes of the ofioers and of the horror
stricken passengers who were waiting
for the steamer. But neither officers,
nor police, nor passengers, had aught
to say to the murderers."
A liabbit I'est.
The rabbit, introducel into Aus
tralia, has now overran that continent
to such an extent as to demand special
legislation for its suppression. Some
2000 men are employed in New South
Wales alone in the destruction of ti~s
rodent. Since 1870 Victoria has vote
considerably over $500,000 for the de
struetion of the rabbit.
A revival is noted in the phosphate
la4ustry at Tort Ogden. F~l
SOMIETHING ABOUT THE MOST
VALUABLE FRUIT GROWN.
How it Is cultivated in Mexico
lapid Growth of the Pods
Curing, Drying and Send
ina to Market.
yV ANILLA as a flavoring for ice
creams and other delicacies,
from once being considered a
luxury, has now come to be so
generally used that it is considered a
necessity, and It would be very hard
to find a substitute for it. Commer
cial extract of vanilla is obtained from
the vanilla bean, which is a native of
Mexico, and is probably the most val
uable fruit grown, the best quality of
Mexican beans often being worth
nearly their weight in bilver.
The vanilla plant is a climbing vine,
with a stem about as thick as an ordi,
nary lead pencil, covered with dark
green, spear shaped leaves. These
vines throw out small aerial roots
which attach themselves to the bark
of a neighboring tree and appear to
obtain some nourishment from the sap
of the tree. In their :wild state the
vines entirely cover the branches of a
tree, and running from it into adjoin
ing trees, form festoons and arbors so
thick as to exclude the rays of the
sun and make progress through the
forest almost impossible. For a great
many years no attempt whatever was
made to cultivate the plants, but as
the supply decreased from year to
year and the demand increased some
steps had to be taken to procure a
more adequate supply.
The vanilla vines blossom profusely
during March and April. The flower
is yellow and has a very agreeable
sweet smell. By far the greater num
ber of blossoms wither and fall off,
and the ones producing beans are a
very small percentage of the total
number. The beans grow very rapidly
for the first two months, and by the
first of July have attained their full
size, and from that time on grow but
little, if any. The beans, or pods, are
from six to twelve inches long, and
about half inch in diameter, and when
ripe are about the color of a ban'ana,
and have very much the same appear
ance, except that they are a little less
in diameter and somewhat longer.
Each vine yields about 100 beans, and
some vines have a single branch that
bear twelve or fifteen pods.
From the first of July, when the
bean is a dark-green color, it grows
but little in size, turning gradually
a yellow color, until the last of Decem
ber or first of January, when it is fully
ripe and ready for gathering. The
pods are filled with minute black seeds
and a small quantity of pulp, and
when prepared for market become re
duced to about one-fourth their origi
nal thickness, are black in color, and
emit a very sweet, agreeable perfume.
Although the beans do not become
thoroughly ripened until the first of
January, there is such a demand for
them that the growers begin to gather
the crop in November. Beans gathered
before they are ripe cannot be as
readily cured, and the growers do not
get so much for them. They are qb
Jiged to begin picking them before
they are rire, however, as if they do
not some one else would save the
owners the trouble of gathering them,
and they would thus be deprived of
the results of much hard labor and
One of the greatest expenses the
growers are put to is in properly
guarding th.eir plantations, that their
crop, in whole or in part, may not be
stolen by the natives. It is impossible
to make these people understand that
the beans are not growing wild, and
the property of any one who is willing
to gather them.
The cunring of the beans is a slow,
tedious process, and one requiring a
great amount of care and attention.
'or the most part the growers do not
cure their own beane, but sell them in
miscellaneous lots to cnrers, who em
ploy experts for that purpose. £he
total time consumed by the curing
process is about five months. The
beans as soon as gathered are spread
out in the sun on black blankets, and
allowed to remain until they are quite
hot to the touch. They are then
gathered up and placed in a sweating
box, which is simply a wooden box
large enough to hold all the beans.
This, box is well warmed in the sun,
and its whole interior is then lined
with blankets that have been out in
After the beans are in the box the
ends of the blankets are folded over
them, and other warmed blankets are
placed over and around the box. The
whole is then allowed to remain for
thirty-six hours, by which time the
ripest of the vanilla will begin to turn
black, and the box will have lost most
of its heat.- The beans now have to be
spread out in the sun again, after
which they are again saeeated, and
this process continued four or five
times, until the beans are the proper
As the ripe beans turn black the
quickest, after each sweating the
whole lot has to be gone over, and the
ones which are black enough picked
out and placed by themselves. Great
care must be exercised in this process,
as, if they are very little oversweated,
it is suflfioient to red:cee the weight
about one pound per thousand beans,
which would be a great loss, and, as
the bean loses part of its color when
overdried, there is a further lose of
about 81 per pound on acc9unt of poor
As soon as the beans have been sf8
oiently sweated and are of the proper
color they are spread out on drying
racks, being carefully gone over from
day to day, and any that show signs
of moistirre or mold are taken outand
pat in the sun until the mold dis
*ppwru, when the are again pla.d
on the racks When of the proper
dryness, which the operator from ex-.
perience can judge very accurately by
the feeling of the bean, they are taken
from the racks and carefully assorted
into bunches of fifty, all the beans in
one bunch being of the same length.
The bunches are then carefully tied
and placed in tin boxes, each box hold
ing forty bunches. It is an easy mat
ter to tie the vanilla, but it is not
every one who knows how to do it so
that the bunches present a good ap
pearaneo and keep their shape during
frequent handlings, to which the
bunches must necessarily be subjdoted.
All the pods of irregular shape are put
in the center of the bunch, as if on
the outside they will soil its appear
ance. The bunches must be ot the
same thickness all the way down, their
tops roundel, and outside smooth.
The vanills.bunches must fit snugly in
the tin boxes, ai if they are loose in
the box and rub against each other
they will be damaged.
After the vanilla is all in the tin
boxes it is carefully weighed, and put
in wooden boxes, made of Mexican rqd
cedar, four or five tins in each box,
according to the size. These boxes
are then.covered with a fiber matting
made by the Mexicans, and the beans
are ready for shipment. Two of the
cases are strapped on the back of a
mule or burro, which are theaetartod
for the coast in strings of eight or ten
animals; thence the vanilla is shipped
to Europe or the United , States by
steamer, reaching its destination about
the middle of June or first of Julo
The price the beans Cbing depends
entirely on their length and color, an&
varies from $8 to $15 per pound. Each
bunch of flfty beans weighs from a
pound to a pound and a half, and a tin
containing forty bunches is worth
therefore in the neighborhood of $500.
The following remarkable occur
rence, an absolute fact, is related by
'a lady visiting friends in Hartford, as
it was told by her cousin in Meerat,
Northwestern India. It took place in
the house of the sister of the narrator.
Of its absolute accuracy there can be
no question. The two sisters in India
are connected with families of repute
and with officers of the British army
in India. The Hartford Times gives
the story as the lady here related it.
She is a devout member of the Episco
pal Church and is incapable of mis
representing in the slightest partiou
Her cousin, in whose house the oc
currence took place, was seated at a
lighted table engaged in readmg,
when, thinking it aboutt time to retire,
and happening to lift her eyes from
her book, she was astonished to see
seated in a chair beside her, and be
tween herself and the door to the
bathroom, a man, a stranger to her,
who calmly regarded her. It was too
great a surprise for her to speak and
demand who was thus intruding un
bidden upon her privacy and what
was wanted. She remained for a mo
ment in silent astonishment.
Then it gradually dawned upon her
her that the figure was probably not
that of a person of real flesh and
blood, but a visitor from the unseen
world of life. She remembered hav
ing once, as a child, seen a similar
figure, under circumstances which
seemed to preclude the idea that it
was any person still in the body, and
in later years, in revolving those cir
cumstances, she had remembered how
the apparation had after a little while
faded away into invisibility. Conclud
ing that this new visitor also was not
a person of flesh and. blood, she sat
silently gazing at the silent object,
while the intruder, .whoever or what
ever he was, sat also in silence, steadily
regarding her. Just how long this
state of things lasted the lady did not
accnrately know, but it was probably
not very long when the imysterious
stranger began to vanish into a thin
ner and thinner personal presence,
until in a moment or two he had van
ished quite away.
It was the lady's hour for her even
ing bath, but she thought she would
first let out her two .pet dogs from
their confinement in another room.
They came barking furionusly and ran
ning directly toward the bathroom.
There, through the open door, the
lady was horrified to see on the floor a
monstrous cobra-the snake whose
bite is certain and speedy death.
Springing forwari to save her dogs,
she quickly shut the door, but not so
instantaneously as to prevent her see
ing the reptile turning and escaping
down through a hole in the floor
where the drain pipes of bathtab and
washbowll went, a hole which sad been
carelessly left larger than was neces
If she had gone directly to the bath
room as she would have done but for
the intervention of her mysterious
visitant, her life would undoubtedly
have been sacrificed in the aot.
Elephantine Nonrses In ~lam.
The women of Siam intrust their
children to the care of elephant nurses
and it is said the trust in never be
trayed. The elephant, not being sn
ceptible to the charms of the saun
tering policeman nor the social claims
of its friends and relations, is conae
quently able to devote its entire at
tention to its charge. The babies
play about the huge feet "of the ele
phants, who are ,very carefil never to
hurt the little creatures. And if dan
ger threatens the sagacious animal
curls the child gently up in its
trunk and swings it up out of Itarm's
way upon its own back.
It is stated that electric towboats
are about to be placed on the river
Spree, near Berlin, where for a di
tance of eight miles the ordinary
barges cannot use sails, owing to a
large number of low bridges. The
trolley system will be used.
BUDGET OF FUN.
TlMOROUS SKETCHICR FROM
Sad Hls Departure--. Different
Feelnlg-A Theory-Not Ills
full Title-In Constant
nople, Etc., Ktce
And then they both began to sing.
The koy was, 1 think, B flat.
-She took the alto, May the air,
And Irv-wel, I took-my hat.
B3ingo--'"hat doctor must have
ound out how much I am worth."
"I just got the bill."--Life.
WHYr H DAMSD..
She-"I think I mightlove yea more
if you were not so extravagan r"
He-"It's my extravagant natere
;hat makes me love you so."-Life.
A DIFFERENT FEEtLING.
Miss Timber wheels-"How were you
itpressed by Mr. Noodles?"
Miss Hungerford-"I wasn't im
pressed. I was o pressed."-Judge.
our- oz, mHI LIN.
Tourist-"How long will it take me
Lo reach the ferry, me good han?"
Polioeman-"I ain't no mind reader.
['ma policeman. "-Detroit Free Press.
Editor--"Your story is flat.
Editor--"I wish to compliment you.
Most stories we get are rolled up."
BIDING NOT NECESSAnY.
Berthwhistle-"Do you ride your
cycle to reduce your weight?"
Dasnap-"No - hustling for the
money to meet the installments for i
Maria-"How kin these weather
prophets tell about the weather, any
Josiah-"l dnnno; unless mebbe
they go by the almanacs."--Pok.
The Sultan-"Have they ceased to
allude to me as the 'Sick Man?'"
The Grand Viziet-"No, ommander
of the Faithiul;. but they are willing
to admit that you are not in business
for your health."-Truth.
NOT HIS FULr TILr.
"Hungry Higgins?" said the kind
lady. "Of course that is not your
real name !"
"Nome," answered Mr. Higgins.
"It's wot might be called a empty
title. "-Indianapolis Journal.
IJEN OTHER HEDIOIN3. .
Penelope-"I hear you are engaged
to Miss Dingbatts at last."
Reginald-"Yese; she refused me six
times, but I perserved."
Penelope-"Then you were well
shaken before taking."--Harlem Life.
SOMrrHINr EALB HORRID.
Ethel-"And would you really be
willing to die for me, George?"
George-"Darling, I swear it."
Ethel-"But, would you be willing
to die of hydrophobis or appendicitis,
or something like that, George?"
A sAE amRENDIR.
Mother--"Willie, as you come home
from sohool stop et the grocer's and
get me two bars of soap and a dime's
worth of candy."
Father-"What in the world do you
'want candy for ?"
Mother-".o that he shall not fort
get the soap."
NOT T T lOM TO HIM.
Caller-"Is your father at home?"
'Little Daughter-"What is your
Csller-"Just tell --kim it is his old
Little Danghter -"Then I gues he
ain't at home. I heard him tell mamma
if any bill came he wasn't at home.*-
Mrs. Aehem (resding)-"The Chin
se are a cheerful people. In Chine,
while the dentist pulls the tooth an
assistant stands by and drown the
lamentations of the victim in the Aomse
of a large gong." °
Mr. Aehem-"So they have adopted
the painless method of extracting teeth
in Ohisa eh?"-Norristown Hald,
He entered the store hurriedly, with
the air of a man whomse mnd was filled
by a weighty commision. These
whom he passed at the door heard him
conning under his breatlh a formula
which he seemed to fear might slip
away and be lost. He approached the
counter like one who wishes it were
"1 wish to get," h sa mid boldly,
"some ribbou for a red baby."
The salesgirl's blankstare seemed to
arouse him to a sense of something
"That is," he said, "I would like
so~n bpby1for a ribbed red one."
The salesgirl was smaing broadly
now and f~ur cash boys, a floor walker
and seven cpjtomere gathered and
grinned in naieor.
He began again.- "That is-of
course, you know, I mesa, some ribbed
r baby for one-that is-some red
r for one baby--some one's red
baby's ribs-some red ribs for oA
baby-some-thunder and gans,
where's the way out" T
Ife departed on a run.
thoughtfully an hour rc saft * °,
baby ribbqn l"-l e m -
A eMa la4stry
Recent investi gtisvhap av -
that in the Greatgfid Lake, u :.
contained'the fonaatiao f saaolew .:,
industry, and that frot it ibe ob:
tained a pure qualIt bulj
soda. In analysing ud. 4 d
the lake, troces of Aliphto o t, -,'
snlphatq of lime sau4.l sa; f
are found, ad3 it tJog iog.ta .
custom for W few
go to the lke 1kl. ~
gather from the shores and IM - ",
has beens knowo: t.o -~a s
salt. in sact, b m
orystals appearin .<
only in cold weaineii a 14 bhp
known ad coml
"winter salt," as it has boatt
really a very pure artlele of 'UI_ t
of soda, commoaly esa ed gl tatW t
and it has beenaa sabjeet a~P olo -
ment in tuie past that so maCL ofat
could'be found in water ti eu-sa t
silt of itserystaUllisatiotat tl
degrees temperatare or lowes, whe;
such very. nall evideaee of -ti
enoe can be obtained from sansl s,
of the water of the lake or its j "
This, however, it .ow 1 tally . ll
A few weeks ago, sas the SafltI44,7
Tribune, the salt compay. isna;
necessary to extend, by iteb .
fluame, their pumping plaittlit
owing to the lowering of the lsk .
Manager J.. W. Heywood is'wu S*
ing the work struck st a de4Cth f S
inches below the old liae-bebdt t r
soda deposit. He brought samplee's ta
town and it was touad to be
sulphate of sods mixed with
which can be separated without t -:
ble. Sulphate of sods is eed ls .'sI
by the soap and glass wmks of
country, and giveth pIrtilat e b.,rt
to plate glass that can be obtaineo d-t '
no other way.
While large quantities of oarboa
are used in the United States, yet v, '.
quantities are import$ from ,
land, Artifoiial oaro
from sodium ohloride, or
salt, and the first oherdiel obahaie i is
from. sodium chloride to dinu - salc
phate. The produat that is found
Salt Lake in such large quantities ob
viates the first chemical change fraom
salt to sodium sulphate, sad it ia.be
lieved a chemically pure- Sdium uobi-e4-.
phate oan.be produced on the lake qi'~;'
41.50 'per ton.--New Orleasm 4:P°
queer Freak etof a Cab Ret.
A cab horse, which. ,rns down
flight of seventy-two steps, en d ,.
the end of its journey wit tet_
it-or the vehicledrage bdalgi `
being any the worse for the adietn
is certainly a remarkable. , ni3.
which might legitimately look 1W
to figuring in amw oiracs rather tbie
dragging fares wearily thrtough Ites
The animal which has j ust dtI
guished itself in the way. (delbt
was, we read, waiting L a a-ia
certain street of the le ph t
the other morning. while its dilvr
was fast asleep inside th. wehlel.: ahr b
whistisng of a passing trima, it sii- .."
mised, roused the horse -frocajts ee..
templations. and it dete s ow e t4 -
off at a brisk trot to seeu a ~ -~
the whistling meant. N t L that
the street in question is dlVttSlby'
two flights of uteps, and thel "W. -
its peregrinations, reaced t '
them. At this appratre"stl :
moment the a6man I .d tkb ,ll
suddenly woke,. nmi th"
danger ahead he 4U ; dat-,heI
badly hurting himself byfth Je fl
The sequel of the ielst sh.ow'
that he would have beenbet$'tkih "it
he remained where i.. ws'. t.,"
horse, without even sei:-
or in any way dima4din t he.b
reached the bottom of the "igpi t
steps, and when ea papetinpit .ma c -
bnustled up, expe6oting to fad a
smashed-to-atoma elb ad.- i deed:
horse, they were aaseeo to 4s . 'u.
the downstairs' jolja4' had bsee
neatly accomplished, t atht theM
mal was not even exoitedbl tehis] y tl
adveqture.--New York ai .l ,..
Fake Cai .pes. .
"More harm thanI
the grass," said an f e
dener, "by the so ls&
some fake gardeners are
ing on the lawns andter sr
out the oity. MuLc of th
which is being used $Lt
street sweepings, som. sel
charcoal from the thus of hIIes
ered on the streets, wlharj
on the river flats duing
Thisleat charooal is ptin
poest to darken its color
appearance df rsahaese,
neased that there is ee a
ashea mixed in it. Aecampeto, 1
chareter is a desidl Injury, nd
grass will do paeh Itternas nt
if it is left alone. Of aots~ s i
a great deel of toroughly
compost used by reliable ga~deheS.
To get bhis in proper shape it',
two years."-Washizg gton 5t
jreatesteparlrtestSteelatt d -:
The department store d~ig i .s Me
means a nwr one, nor has Itx rA ~
in this country its highet t
nent The great aiaietit P
raris, still pre-emient of 4it hts4~
started in the smalIest wq
to-day tranesaets a total bin -' i'$:
$30,000,000, or mote thantwise4~ji
of any Amerian retai es h .
The greatest advance baa hoep
since it has becoshe strictly d
t~ive., Not a frame's worth of.taif:~
is heldbutside of the-popl h:<
store, and the ledersarltt 4 1
neas is natested in thiwse
selected from t~rhe hads of
ments of the,