Newspaper Page Text
!Mcl 7W - *c everberatin ,gweet,5ublim , f, lour solemn voices lif tif i c~3. loht toneaifa r r i TO earmnor . ac joful note tlj bir e1efl = Sflew Year! Uerala a true and lastr-E peace, o laim tat trif aa3 wron aI)G cease in in a deeper, truer neUs _ j1 God 's benin omnipotence. Copyright, 1903, by The Associated Publishers' Corporation, Chicago, I11. SI- .Br'er Riley, dey's lots o fahms "S'I: We'll go whah dey's de bes' I.'roun byeah, an, on dem fahms dey's milluns, an' take de chances!' S'I: Sheaps o milluns an' de fahmahs 'ud |I'm done walked too fur to back wa be wiinaps to donate 'em to ou mose tah now!' S'I 'Im a ole han' at dis any night you 11 come arter 'em- business-foller me, an' you'll wa'h ,'vidin' dey cain't ketch yoU.' S'I: diamon's. An sI: 'L'es' keep close Ili lllullllllllllIlllillllilllll ll 110 11 11 11111 11111 111111 11111 1 IIIII( IIIlV IIlid llI .. . . .. . e h y oo n s . An 'I'm goin' out to try ma luck to-night, together; so's we won't tak e on - -- an' I called 'roun' to see 'f you'd go nother fur de man. S'e: "Greed!' ` ' ,' '- a a.wat, .A1,,~iin.h awhile. SWho Struck James Whitcomb Riley? IWith an Account of His Abandonment of the ~ Watemellon "Accabount More or Less Truthfully Told by .~ riTHE REVERENDR EZEKIL LOUDMOUTH -.. -- hi, nf neaches as both a lucious In order that the reader may un- L :derstand fully the events leading up a to the misadventures herein set forth, ' .a brief sketch of the author is neces :,&ry. e '~ "The Reverend Ezekil - Loudmouth - d been the. pastor of a colored r church in Indianapolis but owing to •. inability to recognize the differ .eace between the debit and credit side 1 Sthe church's collection accounts '. gas deposed; and drifting to Chicago Sbad so effectually "back-slidded" that :the sole remains of his ministerial life appeared in his costume and the imctious use of large and inappro :riate words. His every day dress : oonsisted of the regulation ministe ,risal garb; top hat, frock; or as he S;termed it "Jim Swigger" coat, black t.rouseTr and white choker. The Reverend , EzeKil spent most of his wak ing hours in the various resorts where the gen . tlemen or his mirror o.- most do painted boxes, h'it beautifully from t down to the chef " are beauties, 7.00. Handkerchief, Boxes in highly beautifully lined, 750, 1.25 and I 50C Collar and Cu loid, nicely lined, Toy Ranges, 1 bargains at So cen 14 - -l the value of peaches as both a lucious o' and nutritious diet, whereat the Rev. th Ezekil took the floor. "I don't keer how high a dahkey we gits up in de worl', ner how much lak I white folks he tries to ack, he'll come de right back to his natch'ul se'f, ef you of shet 'im up in a room alone wid a watah millun. An' de white folks laks %.atah millun, too! Did you know it? 'Deed dey does! Dey ain't no 'niggah problem' when it comes to watah millun! W'y, when I wuz pas tah uv a little chu'ch in Injunap'lls, me 'n Jeems Whitcomb Riley eat many a good ole millun together! An' Riley sho' kin eat! W'y, ef you wuz to set 'im down 'mungst a passel o' dahkies, an' put 'em all to eatin' millun, you couldn't tell f'om 'zaminin' de rines which. wuz Rileys an' which wuz de cullud folks'! Fine man, dat Riley is. I made ma se'f 'quainted wid 'im in Injunap'lis, an' used to go up an' tetch 'im almose any time-'for ma chu'ch'--d.t wuz ma ole racket. (Co'se I spent de money as I pleased.) An' when I'd git broke, I go tetch Riley ag'in. He wuz dead easy to wo'k gib 'Im any ole song! Oh! I wus 5.strickly in it, 'tel 1 went, lak a fool, tL..·, sp'ilt ma se'f wid 'im. I 'speck eapele I'm at it, I bottah tell you how S25(e to do it. 'ent to his house one day, I did f, Olt, big, square house made outen painytick-stan's on Lockerby Street. p . r~'-ht whah it is-bin dah 1, big 'ISSG T got fingers an' toes), 0 ' bell, an' sen's in uff Boxe see Riley on ff Boxe celty soon down 50c, 75c, I.oo, 1.50." v ' . Bre'r milluns has large, strong ones, an' still a 1nts. ant; ain't it Sn't 'pose to __.... ugoifn' to dot 1' S'I: 'Br'er Riley, dey's lots o' fahms 'roun' hyeah, an' on dem fahms dey's mil heaps o' milluns; an' de fahmahs 'ud 'I'n be willin' to donate 'em to you mose tah any night you'll come arter 'em- bus 'vidin' dey cain't ketch you.' S'I: dia 'I'm goin' out to try ma luck to-night, tog an' I called 'roun' to see 'f you'd go not wid me. S'I: 'Fo'ty cents foh a watah millun is a outrage!' "He went to mumblin' sump'In a' 'bout 'impropi iety,' 'moral suasion,' g 'character,' 'settin' high example,' an' one thaing a'nother; an' s'I: 'You plE cain't eat dat!' An' I see I'd struck lul a tendah spot In 'Im. S'e: 'Well, Rev- lo erent, call 'roun' to-night 'bout ten da o'clock, ef de weathah's fair, an' I'll ta thaink about it.' God h "Went back dat eb'nln'--as God hi would hab it-an' Riley say: 'Wait 'tel he I git ma hat.' An' off we put-down di de street-splittin' Injunap'lls wide it open! Riley had a so't o' hop-light-lady a! S' la Sstep, an' I wuz a-don' de Mobile buck. "Cah'd me out, he did, about fo Ssle'bes, lak dey wuz goin' to buss open. it s de bes' milluns in de state; 3, id The Reverend Loudmouth Takes the en Floor. to but he keepsp, an' I wuz medon' de Mobile buck. 3), "Cah'd me out, he did, about fo' in miles f'm town, an' stopped right In on front uv a big ole fahm whah you wn could hyeah de milluns jes' a-laughin' e'r an' a-talkin' an' a-snlgglin' in dey ias sle'bes, lak dey wuz gain' to buss open. a- "'Now,' sea Riley, 'dis ole feller it here raises de bes' milluns in de state; to but he keeps a mean dog, an' dey say lot he watches his patch o' nights wid a shotgun. I don' know how true 't is. "S'I: 'We'll go whah' dey's de bes' milluns, an' take de chances!' S'I: 'I'm done walked too fur to back wa- - tah now!' S'I: 'I'm a ole han' at dis business-foller me, an' you'll wa'h diamon's.' An' s'I: 'L'es' keep close together; so's we won't take one nother fur de man.' S'e: "Greed!' "Well, arter we'd bin in dah a while, an' didn't see ner hyeah nothin', we got bol'; an' raised up an' went to walkin' 'roun' dah, lak we owned de place ('ca'se me wanted de bes' mil luns in de patch)-an' I swah we got los' f'om one 'nother. But. we wuz ra dast to holler. Made up' ma mine to or tase a piece o' millun, den fine Riley ol 'n' go home--already had a sackful er hid down 'side de railroad track to tote be home wid me. Went up to a stump, I fs did, an' I brought a millun down 'cross In it-'bam!' An' de stump jumped up G an' tuck arter me! An' I thought I hyeah'd a gun go off-'bud-du-ee!' C S'I: 'Dah! bress God, de fahmah's comin' arter me!' An' I spread ma wings an' flew! S'I: 'Br'er Riley, do b de bes' you kin foh yo' se'f! De Bible say: "Flee f'om de wraff to come!"' An' by dat time I had done gone a mile, an' had los' coat, shoes, an' hat. I made foh one o' ma membahs' houses, on de outskirts o' de town, an' I fell in de do', an' s'I: 'Come an' git me!" An' I fainted plum' away. "Ma membah tuck me in an' put me to bed, an' nex' mo'nin' he lent me a suit o' his clothes to go home in I'd done fixed up a ghose story, an' tole 'im'. On my way home, I stopped at Riley's house-see how he come out. An' dey tole me he wuz sick in bed. 'W'y, ain't you hyern it?' sez dey. An' dey showed me whah de papahs said he'd bin hit in de head an' helt up an' robbed! S'I: 'Ain't dat a shame!-nice a man as he is!' An' I went in whah he wuz, an' s'I: 'Fr'en' Riley, whut's de mattah?' S'e: 'Mat tah?-matttah? W'y, Rev'unt, I didn't he thaink you'd do me that-a-way!' S'I: 'Whut'd I do?' 'Do?' sez he, 'do? W'y, you broke a watahmillun ovah ma o' head! 'At's whut you done!' S'e: 'Ma head hu't me so I could hahdly git ou to town. Don' 'speck I kin write none in' foh a week.' S'e: 'I wouldn't mine it in' so; but de millun wuz green!' An' he en. allus acted col' to'ahds me arter dat. en. But I ain't got nothin' 'g'inst watah millun, all de same." e J. D. CORROTHIERS. Sa Copyright, 1902, Funk & Wagnalls is. Co., New York. IIf Mrs. W eisslitz, president of the Ger man Wromans' Club of Buffalo, N. Y., after doctoring for two years, was finally cured of her kidney trouble by the use of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.I Of all the diseases known with which the female organism is afflicted, kidney disease is the most fatal. In fact, unless prompt and correct treatment is applied, the weary patient seldom survives careful Being fully aware of this, Mrs. Pinkham, early in her career, gave caref_ Beingstudy to the subject, ad in producing her great remedy for woman's ills o- Lydia E. Pk etotncombination of herbs which was certain to control that dreadined thdisease, woman's kidney o troubles. The Vegetable Compound acts in harmony with the laws that govern the entire female system, and while e hare mony "o -ad ...... - for kidney troubles, Iydia E. Pink there are many cam m d is e only one especia1y prepared ham s Vegetable Compound is the nly one especially forwOmemRead What Mrs. Weisslitz. Says.mlabr rDe . so --Foit - two years my life was simply a b den, I suffered o with female trourles and pains across my back and loins. The doctor old me that I had'kidney troubles and pr r me For three months I took his medicines, w steadily worse. husband then advised me to try Ldi E. Pinkham' Vegetable Compound, and b rouht home a bottleo It is the greatest blessing ever brougt to . ourl. thome Within tDree months Itwas en i e a e, the roy paintselo seh uo mi- vns I ss changled f wa e ia n eared m corlexion e cae clear, my eyes brieght, and my enptire system in good sha pedy s ll WEISSL5TZ0176 Seneca St., Buffalo, . . . Lroof tht y iney Trouble c be Cured by Lydia E. ms Vegetable Cn m ompth a ond tned t ls. PINTCHAmi :-I feel very thankful to you for the good a your medicine has done me. I had doctored for years and was steadlily .. dgroee dorse. Ioad n trouble s.ith m T kidCneys, and two doctors told me I had Bright's disease ; also hand falling of the ysm, and could not h a blockat a time. l yback di and head ached ll tho e trlle, wand Ieas so nervous I could not sleep; had hysteria and fntg spells, te n the time,e had such a pae in my left side that I could hardly stand at times without puttin, my foot on something . a'.s r I doctored with several g ood doctors, but they dide not help me anyl, I took, in all, twelv bottles of Lydis E. Pinkhamos Vegetoable Cot y pond, fve boxes of Liver o ills, and used three packaes ot geast . Wash, and feel like a new woman, can eat ant-sleep e' my own work, and can walk two miles vithout feeling tve tire. Thbemoh t w rs tellr me that my kidneys are all right nowt . i am so happy to "- ,ell, and I feel that I owe it all to your medicine. "-bM .s PAL ST.nx.O, Dalton, Mass. t t y for t Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her odvice. m,8he has guided thousands to h.alth. Address Lynn, ass. Sa FORFEIT if we yannot forthwith produce the oriinall letters and sigwatare-S lthe ti timon , , s whic will pprov thleir absolute t I cid eness.. to nal lve botls ofLydia -. Pinklam Veicinea Co., LIo'. ifam at die me tha mro WT'hH at closeI M y M T ST r. BUSINEm i -S EDUCATIONONL wO CR a E. rreed-' BOOK-KEEPING, BANKING. STENOGRAPHY. TYPEWRITING while, Bed MYthIs. But Building. est Teecheo. SEI(D FOB IHANDSOML ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE asgi toand t Toby's Business College, Waco, Texass FRenTt tIf ea rth.wi Toby's Institute of Accounts, New York CityiO SIned d o .. ., L ., ,E., Low Rates to the East. I1 As Christmas time approaches, the exc railroads are preparing to handle large rise crowds of those going back to their the old homes in the East, and the South ern Pacific will place on sale Decenm ber 19, 20, 21 and 22 a rate of one T fare plus $2 to New Orleans and points J in Mississippi, Alabama, Flrida. Me Georgia, North and South Carolina, tiv, Tennessee and Kentucky. Tickets are ful good for return in thirty days, and ed` Christmas turkeys will be eaten by J many Texans visiting their old home boi places. Southern Pacific agents will be glad to supply all information. T. J. ANDERSON, G. P. & T. A. in JOS. HELLEN, A. G. P. & T. A. ef The United States supplies Russia with cotton seed, grapevine cuttings, tobacco and seed wheat in large ae amounts. ca Ij WHERE ARE YOU GOING? F On Dec. I , 20. 21 and "', the ýantn nFe Agents will sell tick,,ts to point' in t o " t'alo, IKansas, ti'.onrl, Nehrla-ka, lowst, ll!ino,s. Minnesota, Mexico, A orknbns an'i to loltitt States at till rate of one tare pIlu $2 0 tr ithe i rounid tlip, goo thirty days,- t ickct- to ' 1 e.lts atu lanr|ian Territory p otis will Ieu on -ale teti S t. 24 25, 26. 81 anw t an I, 1-Ol to tJolt. 4. to return. Fur 'nrther ill',forlatlion apply to any Santa Fe Agents or addres, * W. . K,-enan G. P. N. Gal veston, Texas. Under modern conditions, man's life is growing steadily longer, despite the increased strain of competition, social, political and commercial. t Colored globes in drug store win dows were first displayed by the g, Moors of Arabia and Spain. l teC.ANE'S DETECTIVE AGENCY. it oust,,n, Texas, for trained iand reliable Detective Service. it There are a few thinlgs that even a he very young man doesn't know. h- Some pictures are like some people -hanging is too good for them. A racing automobiio isn't in It with s fleeting time. In 1870 the German people barelY exceeded 40,000,000; in 1885 they had risen to nearly 47,000,000. and in 1900 the census returns gave 56,345,014. Nothing More Dangerous. Than a neg-lected coufh," is what Dr. J. F. IIammond, professor in the Eclectico Medical College, says, "and as a preventa tive remedy and a curative awent, I cheer fully recommend Taylor's Cherokee Rem edy of Sweet Gum and Mullein " At druggists, 25c, 50c, and $1.00 a bottle. Artemiev, a Russian electrician, has invented a pliable coat of mail which effectively protects against currents of 150,000 volts. Why shoult won'in suffer untold a.agony, from f 'male diseases, when "hey c(an be cured at hm"ne, by using Dr. Lunn's Home Treatiusot for Women ? For particuars. addres ; Dr. Lunn's e uaitariumand Hospital. Houston, Tex n Luxury is apt to transform pleasure e int oburdens. fo When depressed and out of spirits the chances are that your liver is to blame. Try that greatest of all liver remedies, Simmons' Liver Purifier. ,i Put up in tin boxes,. rice 25e per box. ite Happiness is a ray of sunshine be tween two clouds. Plso's Cure for Consumption is an infallible ,he med cine for coughs and colds.-N. W. SAMVUs e Ocean Grove. N. J.. Feb. 17. 1000. It is easier to make promises than le to make good. CORPOR.\IiTO S and Individuals who 'Need relbise Detective S-rv.ce Emplo°. L ~LCetae'as Lecti' Agencly, LtoUutoUU Te The greatest grief may be bilde4 ple with some gratitude. Try me Just once and I am, sre ith i to come again. Defiance Starch.