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Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, November 29, 1884, Image 1

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MADISON TIMES"
DEVOTED TO THE WELFARE OF MADISON PARISH.
VOL. 1. NO. 42 TALLULAH MADISON PARISH LA. SATURDAY. NOVEMBER 29, 1884 TERMS: E?.0R E YEAR
A T'l lOmT.
AUsa KINxE.
Twhe r the baby, radam
Ser work in the owl7 kitchen,
with its dainty tewahed walls.
- . ls avea her knlttng,
look for erall around;
astastcof bab ddear
lanywblme be tound.
Il egd dý InyM
has theehoue arden,
S rem eolth'e s ld; . .
1yssath e ach nook and corner,
t nthing is revealed.
Aid t baother's f r ew p
tr falthes 0n toe the 'vlage;
Ionem to look forha
had the Ibb lwo t! herlp a ou er
te mother c haanced to think" rerr'
Cithe old well in the orchard
where the eattle ursed todrln
wsse' Bower I nl o the h'd Ind her!
ýadtý ier by to the em wall,
s t bares edressa
S etar over the well's edge
I wlprse tfoerleson "
s trethed her little aoras down
iam Rover."held her fast.,
srd ever rseemed to mind the krrab
st alars ea mmr emarm.
It was ef chlly November evening
en the train wot into Hampden. t,
And in the gry, eto t momisi
metIbm oe he November d'tsk H mp
Aidl donswon't lvhim, 0
"Away you naughty enough, with the darkver!
O!ey the new silk mill rising outo?"
Sthe othermlock woods the staing:Queen
s g resemblaee to a child's wooden
y, darli the stone quarry to the left,and.
h remindr saved the thour lifehthl looker
phd see, " i d Mrs. Nedley, she
drou nd herst. "A queer ood
er lee, Phebe, w there the friend
Wh th o  and white-nosed
ho thwarsus Monthly.
A LOVE YATCH.
ST nmo r reonae GRAvm.
t wlks can't achill)ways November evwhenire
wy the train got in ism to Hampden.
l "And Hampdene of toode enoug, n
HbLed plces which reqaire the brightdley.
Sof Phiunliht, the greenestll," sheof
d thine de boy to mahoe itt ll prNedent
tia. And in the gray, uncomprom.sing
indium of the November dusk Hamp
Phlipooked drBar enoughwas M. with the dar
imtneyofthe new silk mill rising out ]
he hemlocw. e had the srings billsueen
ane dpotlythe church, which bore a
rcig resemblance to a child's wooden
y, and the stone quarr to the leftmil
which reminded the thouihtfbl looker
ma ta gigantic fortification in an un
Sall ph" sa," id Mrs. Nedley, as she
loked around her. "A queer place!"
Sniece, Phebe, andas there to meet
V)yL t & -box wagon and a white-nosed'
oitch chrsesn't always choose wherent
Sto live," said thebe, worho wasd."
To be in r state is no relatiagonism to Mre,.
*Isley "And Hampdenisgood enough ]
How is PhiNip?' said Mrs. Nedley.r
APhilip is well," said Phebe, as she
e d wthe deotboearned to hoiAunt Ned
.y trunk- into the wago visitn.
Phiyolipke itBarro my des ar, tNedhe 'sd be
Snephew. She hadwitd waited h, an blld no
Mahbool, saperintended his fortunes,
d finally purchased for; and whim shae in
"I she is herk millsother.s dhter, she.
"Bhes all I've got," said Mrs. Nedley, I
marry Phe, and Phebe and I never
did hitch horses together. And I want
'bm to succeed in the world."
But within a few days anew dlamant
And arisn to Auntpl Nedly's protectin
d luppder yesarderatillon
o hlpe urd she is no rhebetio to me,"
SWhatd ait . Nedle. "But her mother was
" is mdarsried,nd I thinoed I dll
mk acnorphin the toe whe h shea
: adl starotedr "tl, in itonl b er toi
Sh the train was late."
h Cif oulik mitarmyd ear, thee needbe
oeaaaoniar your going Pbaca she
1 Wra te. W bothae o ne Let e . I us be
esmapafiona to one another."
* mpon had devloped itel in her andnd
'I she.shermother's daughte, se i
Liot help einr prtty," saird Mrs.d
- . Phll I hr·U isn d she!
and thi epainu Mas. Nedl's pros
No," said Phebe, kifi gro dtg
sBe ms rausn d," anced Pebwal
yhe train was late."
96.hiip married!" arpated the oaldt
1Wr Neimw Rol - like a
Ibe.I ubea omea
And so it happened that Phebe and
the white-nosed pony arrived, solitary
and alone, at the little cottage of the
mill superintendent half an hour after
ward.
Philip came out into the porch, carry- I
ing a lamp in his hand. t
Mrs. Phil ran after him with a pink t
apron tied around her trim waist, and t
her brown fringe of hair blowing back I
from her forehead.
"Where's my aunt?" said Phil, asr
Pbebe jumped out. "Didn't she come?"
"She came," said Phebe, curtly; "but c
she's gone back again." C
"Gone back again?" a
"Yes. She didn't like it because you've
got married, ro she's gone back by the I
eight-six train." t
"Oh, Phil!" cried Mrs. Barrow, who t
was a round, cherry-cheeked little wo- a
man, with soft, hasel eyes and a mouth a
ikea red rosebud, "What shall we do? c
Why didn't you consult her before you c
married me?" '
Phil Barrow broke into a great laugh. E
"My dear," he said, "it wasn't her con- 8
sant I wanted. it was yours." I
"Oh ! But, Phil, she has doneso much t
for you."
"She's a good soul, but she's aecentric,"
said the mill superintendent. "Go in,
Phebe, and get your tea."
"I'm sure I can't eat a mouthful," said r
Mrs. Phil, despairingly. "And the bis- p
culta I mixed myself; and the fried j
chicken- and the White Mountain cake
-Oh, Phil! oh, Phil !"
"Don't fret, dear!" said Phil; "my Aunt ii
Nedley has missed a very good supper, I
that I can tell her."
"But I've blighted your future !" said
Mrs. Barrow, tragically seizing the sugar
"We'llgo to Concord to-moriow and '
see the old lady," so'thed Phil. '"he P
must surrender when she sees you, t
wifey !" I
• 'Phebe chuckled grimly. t
"That's all very well," said she, "but a
you forget that an old lady rnd a young f
man don't look at a girl with the same i
eyes." t
f ' Hold your tongue, Phebe !" said the a
mill superintendent. "Where's the use
of always croaking?" c
And then Mrs. Phil began to laugh, I
- and Phebe, who, after her crabbed fash- E
i ion, was fond of her pretty young sister
t in-law, laughed also. And, after all, the t
dainty littie supper was eaten and en
Sjoyed,. even though Aunt Nedley's face c
I was steadfastly turned toward Concord.
Her own fireside had never seemed so a
solitary and dreary as it did upon that i
November night.
Tie maids, goesiping in the kitchen, I
were called up to rekindle the dead fire. c
The tea, smoky and half cold, was serv- 1
ed, and Mrs. Nedlev was just resolving t
to go to bed, when Betsey brought a let- t
tsr. t
"Postman. mum, he lelt it a week ego,'
I said she. "It had fell down back of the m
lester-box."
"Ah," said Mrs, Nedley. fitting on her I
spectaclep and scrutinizing the seal and
a directions, "from Silvia Gray! Now I c
shall have some one to love in Philip's
place !" c
But she had not read three lines before t
she flung the letter indignantly on the c
sulking fire.
S"Mariied!" she exclaimed. "That
child! Is everybody crazy to get mar
ried, I wonder? And she hopes I'll ex
cuse her, bht her husband thinks - Folly
and nonsense! What is her husband to
Sme? Betsey, my chamber candle !"
'Bless me, ma'am!" said Betsey.
"W..at has happened?" t
"Everything!" said Mrs. Nedley. I
"Don't let ne be called before 8 o'clock g
to-morrow morning. 1 aimest wish that
I could go to sleep and sleep forever!"
And Mrs. Nedlev, in the silence and
solitude of her own room. fell to think
ing to what charitable institution she
would leave her money.
With the Psalmist of old she could a
earnestly have cried, "Vanity of vanities,
all vanity h" a
"I loved Philip, she amid, "and I had
set'ny heart on Silvia Grey-and such a
match as it would have been Pt
She was sittin, at her luncheon the
next day, with the cockatoo on one side
of her and the poodle on the other, when
Betsy opened the door.
"Plear, ma'am," amid Betey, "com- (
tsey," esaid Mrs. Nedley, severely, I
"Itold you I wasnot at hometo any
body to-day!'
"Pleae, mra'am," giggled Betey, "he
would come in!"
"Who would come in?' as"d Mrs Ned
cIt's me, Aunt N ley aid
Barrow,"andmy wifa. D 'tbe 'i
The tall young mill esauperintendent
Scame in, with his orettv wife leaning on
Shis arm.
" Won'tyou ka' me, Aunt Nedley,"
aid Mrs Phil, putting ap the rosebud
Slip--"for my mother's sake?'
"Ebh" mid Mrs. Nedley.
"Didn't you get my letter?" said'
Phl fsip's wif
'Mrs. Nedley was more convinced than
F ever now that she was aleep and dream
woroteall about it," mid Mrs.I
'tPvil. "Donuv know? I am Silvis
Grey. I metPhilip when he eame ont
toDentversto look atthe new mill mas- '
chinery, and he would e married ima
mediately. He said he wars sre yo
would orgive him. Will you *fogve 1
him Aunt edley?'
"s my dear, I will," mid Mr.s. Ned
Sley, her bee brihtning p hke the rk 1
on peepn throch mist-wraths
atwydP 'ttheystdl me you were
"Philipwntedto urri you," aid
1 lv, hangig her heed.
Well, he h surprised me," mid Mae.
Nedley.
She went buck to Hampden with the
a mill superintendent and his wife, sad I
slept in the pretty pink-and-white bed- I
room which S1lvia had prepared for ber
wlthso much ' and she praised
Silvia's chic and pruname pie,
L and she even omdeaee.ded to approve
ofPhebe's half-comnpleted silk counter-i
Spane, for lif was al coulwar de rose for
It sa reat thng fr a woman of Mrs.'
SNelley's ag to hae her own way.
The arls are id to he taklgto all
mus behums gdz irs, a thatisone '
Sof thesports theme nis tbe most ple s
are sn. PhlisA"'hka Umtheti.
SCLAIRVOYANCE A FRAUD.
B How Iauiiget People are ystematically
Hambgged.
I am overwhelmed with indignant
. protests of spiritualists, clairvoyants,
table-turners and ghest-seers, who are
a unable to understand how I can refuse
I to be convinced of the existence of phe
, nomena which, according to them, occur
every day. When clairvoyance was the
Srage, a Dublin physician-Sir Philip
Crampton, if I remember rightly -in
t closed a bank-note in an envelope, plac
ed the envelop at the Bank of Ireland
and offered it to any clairvoyant who
, would tell him the number. No clair
B voyant could. When table-turning was
the rage, Faraday invited any table
, turner to come to the Royal Institute
. and to turn a table there which was so
, arranged that physical pressure would
t count for nothipg. -No table turner
1,came. As for spiritualists, their tricks
have been again and again exposed.
Slade had a "spirit" who wrote on a
. slate under the table. The trickery was
proved in a police court; yet now we are
told that we ought to believe in spiritual
slate-writing because the late Duke of
Albany believed in it and owned a slate
on which spirits were in tFe habit of
I writing ! Ve are asked to accept as gos
Spel truth that in India an adept of Budd
I hist spiritualism often writes a letter and
puts i in a room. The adept to which
t it is addressed comes in the spirit from
Thibet, or some such distant spot, and
indites a reply. There are, I believe, a
considerable number of persons in Eng
land who absolutely believe in this letter
I writing trash. Only the other day a
Sghost story was published, for the de
, tails of which i: was said that Sir E.
Hornby vouched. He had himself seen
the ghost. It appeared to him in China,
t and he at once infor.ned his wife of the
fact. According to recent information,
however, from China it would seem that
the gho-t halt forgotten to die when he
e appeared, for he was still alive, and that
a Sir E. Hornb' was not married when he
confided the details or the gheetly inar
rative to his a if'. I am utterly disgust
. ed with the credulity of persons other
wise sensible. They seem unable to
a understand by what nort of evidence a
. departure from the known laws of nature
a ought to be believed.
Take, tot instance, the trick of fin ling
° a pin, the whereabouts of which is
t known to the "subject." The trick is
generally performed m a roomful of peo
pie, who all know where the pin is con
cealed. Collusion, therefore, is possible.
- This, however, is not necessary for if
the performer be adroit he knows where
to go, owing to the unconscious indico
tions given by the subject. Nothing, is
more easy than to prove this. Let the
e sabject be blindfolded instead of the
perfermr. adi le IM wi enom 4ad
r the p:n. I asked Mr. Stuart Cumberland
I whether he could find a pin under these
I conditions. Being an honest man and
a making no pretense to do more than
closely follow indications, he replied
B that he could not. Labouchere in Lon
Sdon Truth.
F r anmsNa ACr AND rANCr.
Ten scholarships at Newham college
were lately awarded to ladies who had
Spassed with credit the Cambridge higher
local examination.
A daughter of W. W. 8tory, ~he sealp
tor, who is married to an Italian named
. Perussi, has translated the autobiogra
t phy of the sculptor Giovanni Dupre.
Miss Brace, who was a teacher at Vas
sar college previous to going to Paris to
study the histrionic art, has been lectur
B ing before the Lyceum School for Actors.
Boston has 24,000 female music schol
I are. This partially aooounts for the fact
that there are 27,000 more women than
men in Boston. New York Graphic.
R Reports from Paris say that at the
opening of the Italian opera season in
Sthat city the Americans unquestionably
outstripped their sisters of the old world
· ingoodbooks and gorgeous array.
The musical success of the Covent
- Garden promenade concerts in London
has been won by an awkward-looking
,Itasimrirl, aged about sixteen years,
- who played Saint aen's diffilit G
minor concerto.
Mrs. Brynt, the first lady who has
taken the degree of mental and moral
scienee at Condon university, has just
received as a gift from her friends and
Spupils her doctor's gown and cap. Thus
attired, she might act a a realistic illus
traion for "The Princes." But she is
something more admirable than that
. she is a wise and gentle woman.
l The American wife of Lord Randolph
Churchill takes great pride in him, and
watches over him with great solicitude.
1 "I have seen her," say Sir Richard
Temple, who is visiting in Philadelphia,
"standing behind him when speain in
Spublhe places, and nioticed how tendery
- she wraps his threat and performs other
little acts or wifely devotion. She is a
. truly lovely woman."
Queen Margherita of Italy is making
an eort to revive the makling of Vene
tian point lace. 8he has established a
Sschool, from which the graduates go out
to teach others the mysteries of the craft.
Aleady the are four thouand pupils,
Sall at work, and thirty-four varieties of
Spoint are tnred out Only by the color,
It is aid, may the new product be dis
ing.shed irom the antique lae.
A well known merchant of New York
'Icityis a li tobethe greatest amnoker in
e the United States. He is a tall. stout,
I good looking man, weighing abont 210
I- pounds. According to his own state
m nent he smokes a dozen prime cigars
every morning before breakflst. How
* many he demolishes during the rest of
I- the day is not reporlted.
SLest summer it was this gentlemam's
as.tm to go to businns every moring
from Quenms county, traveling down the
Et river on the James dlip boat. As
U mon as he got board he pled a
e suare brasket, whichlb he invariably ear
p- rled,on the ler. The he lI*edthe
lid and prodmad thirninm am immbam
cigar case, a piece of wax candle, and a
box ofmatches. Having placed these
' handy, he unfastened his cuffs, drew
them off and laid them in the basket.
t Then he removed his necktie and collar,
, and deposited them by the side of his
a cuffs. Then he unfastened he capacious
e vest and allowed the breese to fan his
prodi'ious chest.
r He was now ready for business. He
lighted a match and ivnited a piece of
wax candle, which he laid in a secure
P spot. Next be drew from his cigar case
three, four or five cigars, as the fancy
took him. Producing a rubober band
from his vest pocket, he cunningly twist
ed it around the cigars so as to unite
them all abreast. Then he put the small
ends in his mouth and applied the wax
candle to the other end of the cigars un
til all were lighted. Leaning back he
enjoyed life, sending clouds of smoke
into the air.
) He has made a great variety of answers
to persons who have questioned him as
to his Iaesion for smoking. T* one he
said: "My doctor tells me to smoke."
5 To another: "I smoke because I like it."
To another: "I smoke because my wife
says I mustn't." lo another: "It's
none of your business"-wi h a word be
fore "business" which the Eagle never
tolerates in print. Those who know
I him say he is a very jolly man and a
f skillful business manager. He is nearly
50 years of age. Brooklyn Eagle.
f coxxuuIAL CIrCUa.
Lord Duffenr appoints no married
men on his staff in India. His Lordship
I evidently has no confidence in a man
who stays out late at night. Louisville
1 Courier-Journal.
1 Adam Forepaugh, the circus man, was
married recently. He had a reputation
as a lion-tamer, but he can't come the
dodge of subduing a woman by gazing
steadily into her eyes. Peck's Sun.
Old Balker has screwed big barn-door
hinges on his front gate. He says he'd
like to see his wife and her next-door
neighbor now talk his gate "off them
e hinges, like they done it a 'ew days ago."
, Kentucky State Journal.
t A barber says that when a lady's hair
e begins to come out, as after a fever, it is
t much better to singe it off than to cut it.
e That is all very well, but what is to be
done when a man's hair uegins to come
out after he gets married. Philadelphia
Call.
An ingenious woman has devised a
e plan for getting satisfaction even from
her spouse's sonorous snores. When he
R gets well under way she ties a mouth
harmonicon under his nose, and she de
s clares th' music is lovely. Boston
Globe.
"I see you were at the theatre last
i night, Mrs. Brewer."
"Yes, Mrs. Brown, I was; and I'm glad
e I went."
"'You liked it, then?"
"Yes, indeed. The quarrelling scene
e between the husband and wife was really
e grand, and I learned some new styli'.h
points; and the next time John and I
have a ruarel If I don't make him feel
e small I don't know anything." Ken
d tacky State Journal.
I "James, you wretch! How did that
hldr get on your coat? It's a red one,
tool Tell me now !"
"Soothe yourself, my love, soothe your
self. I suppose it got on in the street
car--cnght on as I leaned back, you
know."
"But how did it get on the breast of
r your coat? Oh, dear ! It couldu't get on
in front from the back of the seat."
"Pshaw! That comes from not having
I any scientific information. Don't you
know that hairs move automatically "on
any fuzzy surface? Capillary attraction,
my dear, capillary attraction." St. Paul
Day.
WATEU ONCE A DAY.
fow the Bedeot Traverse the Arid
t asmes of Sersa.
In the "Waterles Land" water is the
parameunt question. If it be asked how
a large bcdy of Bedouine, like the 10,
000 who nearly destroyed the British
square at Tamai, manage to euabsist, the
reason is plain. In the first place, they
t do not need the enormous trains re
a quired for a European army. They are
Sthe most abstemious of men. Each man
carries a skin of water and a mall bag
of grain, procured by purchase or barter
from caravans. Their camels and goats
I move with them, supplyine them with
t milk and meat, and subeisting upon the
scantherbage and the foliage of the
thorny mimoas, growing in secluded
, wadies These people could live upon
- the increase of their flokse alone, which
they exchange readily for other commo
h dities; but, being the exclusive carriers
I and guides for all the travel and com
nmerce that cross their deserts, they real
l ise yearly lare amounts of money.
5, As to water, they know every nook
a and hollow in the mountains, away from
y the trails, where a few barrels of water
r collect in some shaded ravine, and they
a can sater, man for himnef to
fill their rrrn On my Arst ex
pedition, near the close of the three
g yars drmought, I reeched some wells on
Swhich I was depending anl found them
a entirely dry. rt was several days to the
Snext wells. But my Bedouin guides
knew some natural reservoirsin the hills
about six miles ol. So they took the
water-camelsat nightfall and eame back
r, before daylightwith thewater-skin flled.
An invadIn army would Aind lttoo hard
toobtanl gudesa adevenlftheydid they
most keep together and could not leave
the line of march to look for water. Be
k ides, th. Bedeais, accustomed from
a infancy to regard water as most precious
t, and rare, ue It with wonderful economy.
Neither men nor animals drink more
0 than once in forty-eight hours. As to
washg, they nevtr indulge in such
wastefl nonsense. Wheu Bedouins
Scametomy camp water was always of
fared them. Their answer weuld fre
Squently be: "No, thanks; I drank yes
terday." They know too well the ma
Spraeof keeping up the habit of
astemnioummma. No wonder they cau
gmbist where invaders would quickly
C s Gen. B. E. Colston in FSeptember
Century.
Geuom-Yes, a "complete letter-writ
er" i. a handv volume to have, but make
are that you irl bam't the same book.
tllOGH PRICED HUXANITY.
She was ready for bed and lay on my arm.
In her little frilled cap so fine,
With her golden hair falling out at the edge,
Likeacircle of noon sunshine.
And I hummel the old tune of "Banberry
Croess"
And '"Three men who put out to sea,"
When she sleepily said, as she closed her blue
eyes.
"Papa, fot would you take for me?"
And I answered, "A dollar, dear little heart."
And she slept baby weary with play.
But I held her warm in my love-strong arms,
And rocked berand rocked away.
O, the dollar meant all the world to me.
The land and the sea and sky.
The lowest depth of the lowest place.
The highest of all that's high.
The cities with streets and palaces,
Their pictures and stores of art,
I would not take for one low soft throb
Of my little one's loving heart.
Nor all the gold that was ever found
In the busy wealth-finding past,
Would I take for one smile of my darling's t
face,
Did I know it must be the last.
So I rocked my baby and rocked away,
And I felt such a sweet content,
For the words of the song expressed to me
more
Than they ever before had meant,
And the night crept on and I slept and dream
ed
Of thinss far too glad to be,
And I wakened with lips saying close to my
ear,
"Papa, fot would you take for me?"
"DOING" STATUES.
Wrestler Mulaoon Tells of How He Sue-]
ceeded it That Line.
"Did you ever hear of my Greek statue i
work? Well, I met Powers, the Califor
nia sculptor, and we conceived the idea
ef turning my muscles to account. I
studied the sketches of the G-eek and
Roman and modern statues, haunted she
art galleries and struck all sorts of atti- I
tudes. Enerson's minstrels were get
ting played out, and we went to Billy 1
and proposed to give an act between acts i
of the minstrel show. He jumped at
the idea and put it on. I tell you, hon- I
estly, the society of the coast packed that E
theatre, and for three weeks the car
riages blocked the streets at each _per
formance. I made $1,500 by it. Then
Jay Rial, who had the ('California theatre
and was losing money with the 'Sea of
Ice,' thought he would put in a statue
scene. He gave me eighteen per cent. of
the gross receipts. The night before I
onened the receipts were twenty dollars.
We billed things free!y, and when I
made my first appearance at the Califor
nia as a Hercules and the other statues,
the house was jammed. I made $1,200 a
week as my share for a month. Then
the other theatres wanted to try the
same thing, but 1 had got tired of the
thing-had plenty of dust and lots of
fame. Then Ned Hanlan, the oarsman,
came along, and the theatre men went
for him. 'Can yon do the statues?' they
asked. Ned did not want any of it.
Sullivan, the pugilist, wasnext and after
him the managers all galloped. Sullivan
could make more with less work, and
the poor managers got left all around.
When I get tired of wrestling I will take
up my trade of posing as a statue, but
not just at present except to help things
out. They tell me look fine as a Greek
statue. Maybe 1 do, but I don't want to
see myself." Detroit News.
sUoGA von SwEERur Tn .
A Good many marriages come out of
a tennis court. Boston Budget.
Lung engagements are popular now
only with actors. Boston Bulletin.
"Darling." he said, "what shall I call
you for short ?" "Call me et cetera."
Usually, a fellow waits on a girl before
marriage, and she waits on him ever af
terward. So, you see, there is a sort of
compeusation balance which makes
things even in the long run. Chicago
Sun.
First young man: "You would be
well heeled, my boy, if you could mar
ry her. Her father is rich." Second
young man: "Not much. I give it up.
I've been too well toed by her father al
ready." Burlington Free Press.
A young lady wishes to be apprised
with reference to a subtle remedy for "a
ticklish feeling about the face and
mouth." We guess that vigorous brush
ing with a heavy mustache would eflect
nally do the business. Chicago Sun.
"Well," said George,"I must go,"and
then he msid good-night with the Emma
Abbott attachment thereunto ar in
ing. "If you must, you mumed replied
Linds. "Look at my hair an rume"
And he rufled. Burlington Hawkeye.
In the world's broad led of bttle,
If you're looking for a wife,
Doat be liM a, iar surely tat'll
Blast your tiest hops for ie.
Eulalia (sentimentally)--Oh, nol I
have no desire for great wealth. I
snould be happy, very happy, as the
wife of a noble bread-winner.
George (practically)-And I should be
hapy, very happy as the husband of a
Sire concluded to learn. Philadelphia
Call.
Seriously I supposed there was at least
a thin veneering of respectability in
Paris. I had fancied that the stories of
a Parisian fastlife had been putforth
uerhaps a little eraggerated by those
who voluntarily yielded to the magnet
ism of fast living and hunted out those
things which are to be uncovered in any
city. You know we usually find what
we look for in this world. But no; the
tuth has been understated. A sensitive
peuon almost feels guilty when he has
looked into the shop windows, gased at
the questionable pictures and conned
the audacious titles of the books. No
where is this low ebb of morality more
patent than in the shop windows along
the magnifeent BRue de Rivoli, facing
the Tuileries-the English quaters,
where one mes English signs almost exn
cinmively. Althongh the stores are kept
by Frenchmen, French inscriptions are
in theminority. I am ure there area
gcod many American husbands who
would insist that their wives forfeit a
vision of all the glorious fabrics and Pa
risian souvenirs there exposed for sale
ratherthast permit them to guae and
read indi eminately. Paris Letter.
All ofus haveto struggle before we
can catch the eye of the speaker. Mil
ton didnrst get m-fteenth as much for
Paindis Last" as I got Ar myfl t book,
and yet you will find people to-dlay who
claim that if Milton lived lie colhi have
knocked tile :socks off of me aith o:ne
hand tied behihnd him. Recllect, how- A
ever, that I am not here to open a dis
cussion on this matter. Everyone is
entitled to his own opinion in relatio t
to authors. People cannot agree on the
relative merits of literature. Now, for a
instance, last summer I met a man over tl
in South Park, Col., who could repeat t
page after page of Shakespeare, arnd yet,
when I asked him if he was familiar with
the poems of the "Sweet Singer of Mich- f4
igan," he turned upon me a look of stolid ti
vacancy, and ahdmitted that he had nev
er heard of her in his life. BILL NTE.
CHAFF FOR TIlE CHARMER%. "
There is agirl in thiscityso cross-eyed
that she has to wear spectacles on hlet
ears when s:e wants to read. Philadel
phia Chronicle.
"There is one thing," said Jones, "that
shows the glory of the countrv. Every
father has it in his power to make his
daughter a lady." "How is that?" asked f
Brown. "He can make hera saleslady,"
was the reply. Somerville Journal.
Thoughtful girls new use the patent 0
safety pins to fasten their belts, except d
of course when the evening is so stormy e
that no callers are expected. Then they
use ordinary pins and indulge in onions.
Philadelphia Call.
A Chicago woman was struck by light- a
ning while at the washtub last Tuesday. e
SHer four daughters, who were in the
parlor at the piano practicing- the latest y
song, were uninjured. We will build a
[ moral to this some day when we get
I time. St. Paul Herald.
SGirls be careful. instances have been '
known where engaged cou ples have gone
- out yachting and returned mortally des- v
v pising each other. Nothing strikes the ,
a scales from the eves of love quicker and
t reveals that their affinities are nothing
but ordinary mortals than to catch them
t seasick. lioston Budget. s
The Summer fashions relieve the girl
of the period of a certain indescribable I
air of' Slap your face fr two cents." We c
are glad of it, for there are times when
we might feel very like having our face
f slapped by a pre'tt girl, and at the same
time b: painfully reminded of a lack of a
the necessary two cents. Ciicago Sun. 1
A CHILD-WIFE'S TROUBL.
I.Married and Divoreed from a Mialter
When Only Fifteen Years Old. I
e A sensational divorce was granted at c
Lumpkin, G.., to the Rev. J. W. P. Falk- t
er, who was ten years auo the most not- f
t ed Baptist revivat'it in the South. It
V was developed that he had deserted a
r wife in Louisville, where he had worked 1
n at the printing business. Church people,
I however, stood firm by him and he con
I. tinned hislabors. Without, oing through
the formality of getting a divorce from
his wife, he married Miss Jessie Tar
k borough, of Greensboro, N. C., a maiden
o of fifeen.
Other denominations were scandalized
by the act, but the Baptists still held
Falker up. He was called to a pastorate.
Soon tales of intemperance and abuse of
f his wife began to be circulated, and the
sensation culminated by the filing of a
suit by the child-wife she -eeking a di
voice on the grounds of drunkenness,
etc. Falker disappeared between two
ll suns, and is now preaching in Texas 'in
der an assumedl name. The Baptists of
Gtoruia have Mtblicly cut him off from
e their coonecion. Mrs. Falker is allow
- ed to resurnme her tmaiden name and priv
'f ilee o: marrying, but it is decreed that
a Falker muit remain a grass-widower.
° Morning Journal.
e COULDN'T wARRANTr ls.
SArtful Scheme of a Klind ad Obliging
. Neighbor.
There was a twinkle in his eyes as he
entered a livery stable the other morn
ing and proceded to look over the horses.
d When he had made the rounds the pro- I
prietor asked :
"Looking for a horse?"
"Say, I've one of my own, but a neigh
bor is continually botlhering me to lman
Shim the rig for a drive. Hlave you an
'animal which you will warrant to run
away?" a
"You bet! That old roan there will
make a break before he is driven two
blocks."
"Then I want to borrow him this af- a
ternoon. I'll ive that neighbor all the I
buggy-riding he wants for a year to
come."
SThe horse was sent to his barn at the I
I hour agreed upon, and hitched up for
Sthe neighbor and his wife. Lucky for
e the wife the horse ran away before she
got in, and she was thus saved from a
Sbig scare if not a case of broken bones.
SWhen the animal was returned to the
stable the proprietor inquired: I
S"Well~ I warranted him to run away or 1
no pay.'
, "Yes, he ran away."
"And your game succeeded'?"
It "Y-e-s, I suppose so. That is,I'vre gdot
a to sit up nights for the next two weeks
f with a man with a broken leg, and I
huppoe5 my busy was dam ad.bout 1
*I
Dr. Blank-"Well, this beats all. Here
I Iee another man has been killed by a
e drug clerk's mistake. Why in the
e world don't the courts make an example
Sof some of them?"
t Dr. Plank-"It certainl seems as if
. the number of such mistkes was incress
e ing. I had one in my own practice this
6 very week. It was in a particularly del
Sicate case, and I made out the prescrip
tion with unusual care, yet I have just
t discovered that in the bottle of medicine
furnished there was not a single ingre
a dient that I ordered."
S "Great St. Galen! The fellow ought
a tobe hung. You had him arrested, of
. course?"
ie "No, I did not hi. " makea fuss about
*d it."
"'Make a feum! The bigger the fless
the better. I tell you an example must
be made. Why don't you arrest that
drug tclerk, drag him before a court of
r lay and show the jury that medicine?"
e "I don't think it would be best."
1- "And why net, pm.y?"
r "Well, the aet is it cured the patint."
, PhUadelphiraOa.
M %CrLINE WOM EN.
Amerlean Women Who. Have Discarded
Pettieoats for Pantaneo,,w.
The Woman's Herald of Industry i.
the political organ of Mrs. Belva Lock
wood, the woman's rights can:didate for
the presidency. The current issue con
tains a genuine curiosity, being a list of
ladies who have put the ne.w dras re
form into practice instead of aaiting for
the millenium. These fair trouser
wearers write of themselves as follows:
Mary E. Tillotson, Vinelahd, N. J.:
"Have worn the science costume for
more than thirty years everywhere."
Abbie Knapp, M. D., Dowagiac, Mich.,
"Have not owned a lone dress in a quar
ter of a century."
Celia B. Whitehead, Bloomfieid, N. J.:
"Have worn trousers (cut like men's
pantaloons) and a short skirt, at home
for several years."
Mrs. E. M. King. honorable secretary
of the Rational Dress association, Lon
don, Eng.. wears the "divided shirt" and
short overdress and jacket.
Cornelia Boecklin, Butlington, la.:
"Have worn pantaloons for eleven years
and have no desire to wear any other
sort of a skirt."
Ann Perkins, Berlin Heights, 0.: "lHave
w rn the short skirt a number of years."
Emeline A. Prescott. Hallowell, Me.:
"Have worn the short costume for can
vassing for several years."
Alexis Le Beuff. San Jacinto, Cal.: "My
wife wears my wedding pantaloons and
walking jacket-no skirts."
Jennie A. Doane, Vineland, N. J.:
"'Have worn a short skirt and trousers
since 1877."
Mary Walker, M. D., Washington, has
worn trousers and short skirts (no petti
coats) for many years everywhere.
Lydia Sayer Hasbrouck, Middletown,
N. Y.: "Iadopted the Ca.nille costume
or Turkish dress, called "bloomer," in
1849, and have always worn it, at home
and abroad, ever since."
Amelia Bloomer, Council Bluffs, Io.: "I
did not originate the style of dress worn
by Mrs. Stepton, Lucy Stone, myself and
others. Credit for that should be given
to Mrs. E. S. Miller, who, was the first,
so far as I know, to wear it."
Caroline B. Keese, Turner Junction,
Ill.: "Two of my daughters lived to be
27 and 29 years of age respectively, and
I always wore Ihe bloomer dress."
Martha 8. Severance, Paines ville, Ohio:
"Have worn the short dress and trous
ers for more than 30 years, on all occas
ions, everywhere, and have no desire to
wear any other."
Marietta Lizsie Beers Bell Slow, San
Francisco, Cal., invented and wore the
triple S costume-trousers and kilt skirt
12 inches from the floor; no petticoats,
I corsets or high heels-in 1882.
Mrs. Dr. Gildea,San Diego,Cal.: "Have
adopted the triple S costume and like it
f very much; so does my husband, the
doctor likes it very much."
Mary Dobbs, M. D., St. Louis, Mo., has
worn a trousers dress for years every
where.
Mary E. Lucas, M. D., Newfleld, N. J.:
"Have worn the short dress (as a work
dress) for twenty years."
Rita Bell, Painesville,O.: "Have worn
a short dress for several years every where
and made my living in it.
"Almedia B. Gray, Schoflold, Wis.,
wears the triple 8 costume.
8. Gertie Smyth, Oakland, Cal., wears
a short trouser dress at home.
Mrs. C. H. Webb, San Francisco, Cal.,
has adopted the triple S costume for
home wear and country outings.
Mrs. Dr. Strobridge, Cortland, N. Y.,
has worn the science costume in her in
firmary for many years.
Susan P. Fowler, Vineland, N. J., has
w. rn the science costume everywhere
for the last eighteen years.
Frank A. Cook, M. D., Columbus, Kan.:
"Have worn the science onstamj every
- where since 1853."
At the "Home school," Ancora, N. Y.,
Smen and women, boys and girls, dress
j ust alike in a combination suit without
skirts.
I Samantha H. Bancroft, Toms River, N.
>Y: "Have worn the trouser-dress for
nine years everywhere, traveling exten
sively in the United States and Canada."
SBoston Herald.
Mow Love lbak.e eeIsl of ien.
A good while ago one of the cleverest
men in America paid a lady of my ac
Squaintance a deal of attention, and she
Swas delighted at the outlsok. She had
Sgrown tired of the ordinary routine of
r love making and thought the introduc
ticn of the new element of brains might
make this affsair more tolerable than its
t predecessors. There were several charm
Sing evenings in mixed company, when
[ very tenderthings were mid in very
I bright fashion, and the lady began to
think there was a good deal of fmn in a
flirtation after all. The dear man get
on well, but before fate granted him the
onportunity of a tete-a-tete with his
e flame, it called him to a neighboring city
a and in a mad hour he wrote, and he begasn
his letter in this style: "Does my pretty
e one ever think of her absent suar
e plum?" That settled the whole busi
ness. That nice plum might have gone
if on and distanc9d Ingersoll and Evarts
for wit and wisdom. She never read
one sentence more of that long letter.
I She gssed transfixed at that tirst greet
- ing, and she laid the closely-w·ritten
sheets on a blazing grate. and when
that man who had so good a chance ar
rived in town and called promptly the
servant told him her mistrees had left
word for Mr. 8. Plum that she wouldn't
be at home before the early part of 1887.
"But my name is not Plum," said the
bounced.
"t That's what you're called here." re
turned the bouncer. "'You're the man."
So "they never speak as they pass by,"
and the lady will never forget that sen
tence:
"Does my pretty one ever think ot her
absent sugar-plum?" New York Mirror.
A close studeat-The tailor's appren
tice. Boston Bulletin.

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