ni[CON TR rWVYAI
IgpuTrAND P E
HE seeing of "the Old
Year out and New
Year in" throughout
the world is generally
accompanied by much
merriment and some
times with much
* ,noise. But whereas
in some countries the
S "wild" night has dis
appeared and has
been replaced by cele
brations more in
keeping with the passing of a year of
past opportunities, and the making
of new resolutions for the coming
year, on this continent, at least, the
night has been given up to te.elry
strongly condemned by right thinking
At one time New Year's eve in Ber
lin was a time that might have glad
dened the heart of the most exuber
ant undergraduate, being from dusk to
dawn a succession of practical jokes
and good-natured "ragging." But now
adays the town shows a more sedate
temper, and if in a very German way
a beer or a wine "Journey" (to give
the German expression) often;reminds
one in the small hours of what used
to be seen at the same time,.ot the
year in the ancient world, the days (
seem to have passed by when it was
unsafe for a cabuman to show himself
in the city before dawn, for fear of
having some joker ride away on his
. amharnesaod "Polly."
In those times the silk hat was
more worn than today, and still more
often wap crushed in or thrown across
I,. the street by some of the more ram
pasgeous. It is said that one could
,/ then buy a, cheap edition of the silk
SI:. hat that had a gloss that would last
. through the evening, and at a price
." that made its disappearance quite suf
i Toay such practical jokes have ti
'dropped into the background. Berlin b
` the rest of the empire indulge in t
' ebratlon of the New Year that d
'i~ something of the Prench revel- c
Si0 s omething of the Scottish tfestivi- s
ltl. also some reminders of April
e' day and Gunpowder Plot day I
I.n iglabed, and the Chinese New I
Te# 'Y "east o1 Lanterns."
ý . twYear' de in Germany is the
SseOmng the jokes and would- I
s l that are penerally held over I
W 4pr$l 1 in Fmange and England
that might seem to be burnr
.y to such rarities as th4 I
ts eggs, and all the "sells" that I
to~,a o.. Then, as the sing
N tJo INorth may eat toffee and
' " , the eve of the 5th of I
'ermans have a ,becial
o and jam, with punch.
r :ds oneof the'Orient.
i. lathe oitOf the day, or rather
t th night .iven the biggest stores
tW~ eiadts e "' `iweekly cats- 1
dB$g f the styles of rat,
):t thbey. re to sell, and no
,rerilner is without one
ý saI~g 'rth late in evening
S oW a zotaýof the town before
- . tr with the guard
in the Luastgar
:aso offers another ex-.
rttsard~wy powers of
matter of uitertaln'
'at eight, and
early as ahitl
see, for ama-'
Ito bes a h
tb l ,.-|ot~
the picturesque procession of the n
boar's head at Christmas, a quaint is
but less known custom for New Year's ei
day, has been retained. After dinner s1
on this anniversary the bursar pre j(
sents to each guest a needle threaded
with silk of a color suitable to his u
faculty, and prays for his prosperity S
in the words, "Take this and be g
thrifty." This word "thrifty" has no a
connection with the philosophy of the tV
late Samuel Smiles, but is, according l
to Doctor Magrath, the retired pro
vost, the old Ehglish for prosperous. E
To "grow thriftt" in the sens% of to s
thrive was used in America within t
living memory. The ceremony is a a
practical Norman-French pun (aiguille a
et flu) upon the name of Eglesfleld, t
the .chaplain to Queen Philippe, who 1
was, the real founder of the college. E
A picturesque ceremony 3marks New
Year's eve at the court of Dresden. F
A reception -is held in the evening- I
generally one of the most thronged of i
the year--during which the king in-.
stead of receiving the guests in his 1
ordinary manner, plays cards with
Those invited file past a group 'of I
card-tables, All the players at which I
are Intent upon the game, except the I
king, whose aide-de-camp stands be
hind his chair and whispers the card I
for him to throw, so his majesty can i
devote his attention to \acknowledging
the greqtings of his courtiers. The
klng plays a card, then bows as a
curtaying lady catches his eyes, then 4
another card, another bow, and so on,
until the long procession has passed.
The little Scotch fishing illage of 1
8urtgbead, on the Moray,Flrth, keeps
1 w trange survival of pagan ritual,
;iuning of the "Clavie." This is
of rude poked wheel, or tub
Sfrom half a herring-cask and
a tarbarrel, knocked together
t the use of a hammer, for
a smooth stone ia substituted.
Sblhckamith supplies a long nuil.
-I contulvasce Is biorne -min
StLb shouders ofr a suecesie0 of
to thei town bounded, and
o thy "Doorie," a. sort of " a
SOn. ail hilL The ''C tIe"
Sthesarsee and the cio*rd scaim
to frthe pices. he ato-a de.
pe, an AoS and 1i tulbeflor UL
a t . rewi sotini tirstIval of'leoge
> e celebrated In "the wedfsua'
ut the, 'twal" withl unusual
Y the Caledonians.
corner of our fair-fluang
wherever the $oot has caz
i aticeat and his Robert Burns,
of the Cofio race will
r dt(ecea-t, expresW
;iGO4i wf~- h and gOE4 resofi,
a the Hew n year.
you hae taken part in tihe as
atle-ane4itg a tO . "ab'
-a ,The .-m
'qudeg~f mtthat a ,
a thatabssii aa a .
-kti ( a
~· ··r:::··.·p:: ~
··:.· ··:····.- ':.i:::jj:~'i·.ix: j·~·· .;;i·. -··:- -;;, :i:.::;:·:I:·:·::~:~:~:~i~~:lj::.·:.:: :.:·::.·'·1:.'..::··:::::';:.:'.:'::':'. r
::.-i:: -:·-:· ~·~ .: ·-· ·.·~::~:.,:.:,. .~:i:~::::·:·::~·~·:··:~i:~:':~.~·:j~:~,i~:~i~ .i:~:~·ij.:~:~:~~~:i:··~·::·I:·:~:·::::: ·::::1:·1.1.:.:;;::.:::·ij.::.·:·:·:·:.·
-.- - ·.·. ..·:·:· ;..:~:~ ;:·~·:~:·.::;·1:o:·~::~6
k:i~:::::·: ·::.··ri:l:·i:: ·.:ai~·I··:·:''···~i~i:·~~iiiiii~~~·x,5I:'~::::::~:~~I·:i::::::i:ii:~:~:·;::::iI·· :·:·.`
··~·; ··'·:·:·:.·:·.·.·.·:i:·:·.· ·;.:·: .·:~::::::r.:.:·:·;·.·.:.;;:.:.: ;~.i·gl~:~:;: ''"'~
..··.·.·.·.· ·;.-· :';:·:·'·:'.
~:'-':'-:"''i:·::::: :· ' ::'·'·' ·:·:~: ~.~i~i.:.·':.:'.:"'Q::::::::.::X~·;:~:'; s~:::~
·:-:·:··: :.··.·:·· · :·:· ::: i:8:·:· ::· 5:
':"4:·::::~ .::i :·:·:::::k:i::.··1·;:·:'iBk:~:~:·~:::~
ai~~ix.:::::::j:·: ··:·: ~':~i:j:x ~:::i:::::1:j~ .i.l.:.;.~s·..;.:j::~:,:.j
:~'~~ ~::j~j.::;~ ..::~:::::~.~;:~::ir.:.~.,
::j~:j::::- -I ···:········ - '.~~3~~: ":~:~R~;::~:~:~::~R~::;~a:'.··:·i'''
~~~1:j:-·: :·c:·:-·':;·::i··::· :·:'2~'~:'):-:'::::::~:·:·'·':::::'::1·:·.~.:.: ··s·.:
:~::~i:.:j·::~·i~:::· j::: ::..::~2· :~%::i;::i::~::·:~:;·";~:i·ii::::~:::::
i·~·~:.:~:::~:~:.··:::i::·:::,. :~i·.:·:i ·:··~·+~-··'·'':I·~:~~:8i:·:~'
;:·:·:·:·:·:;·.:··:::.··:j;::: :r::.·.;·:·.i~. :;:::::~j: .:.:.·. i~~~ ~~~:~:::.iiMi.:
~ :s~~ ~:~ii~j~]
·:·:.·I·1:·:·;·.·:· :~:·:j:.::·:-·~ :O:)):.:.; :~~~~
~~";:·'" ~~e I
j:: :`''~':'·'·:':·:-·-·' :··-······;i
~'d";':`:i; .:: '~::j:~~~ ·~.·:·:·:·;·;u;;.-z;;.-.·~·:;· ~~~.:cj: ::i
:·:~:~::;'::~:~:::"::::::.':.: '.j·i.srii:2;:~~jj ·:.·.·-.:·:.:.:·:·;·.·.:.:-rx·:i.·.;· ~
~i:::::i::ii~·::::::ii.i: ::: · :·:·:·:·:";::··· 2~ :~~:p::~:,~::~:~:::~i- ···-·;··· ·;:::·:j:::;:::·:,~:~:~:~j
.:.~::···f;.~:~:-5·:j:: ·'·~·:-r ·'·'·:'·t:·: ~"I:~;~~:~:48Wi;:i~:'·'·2:·:Q:.~.L:
i-; ··~.·.i·:·. ~~::::i·i:::: .·-:··' i :~:~r'~·~:~:·5~';;~:·~.:5:~:':- :~:~'''· -~i~~f:
I·.'·j6~i'j~. ··:j:::::.:.:.·.·:·,:.~'· ·.·x·.:~.~::i·(·~i·~1:·::.:s~:~
.·.~.·.~'~ ~::::~jj:,:.:~j :·:·'····· ;··:~:::.:·:··:·2;;·:·:i·:I::;j:;. :·:·.·.·.·.:,·,:·:·rs
;""'":''~:~'~:~':~:~~ :~::~:::::j:~:::·:;:.::i~·~::::~:~:::j:: S:~:~:::::::::ii;.j:::j.u······:i·:·:·; ····;;i:·ra:..·:·;·.· ..ii;:jE;:j:iili:~::::::::
~·- ···:·:j.-:r·:i ':1;2.·,:·:·-:r::.;:·:·:··)·· ·.:.~.~.;iL"· t.
5:·i ·~·~·~ :.:;i:\:::i::::::'·:::.:::::-~a i:::2 :
::.i .~j:;:2;~::j :::::~· ·'j~:jl: ·.;.·'.'.'',i. .·:·:jj:·:::;·,Xj:·:-:·:-:· :.;:,··'·~
~:~:~'~j~::::I·:'·~:~::~ij~~:::~:~:ij~: ·);:.r:·~:c ~~ .::::::::i:::.·:·:····::::::~::::::lif: ::::::::l:i: ·,:l·-.::.::.jj:.::::::i::::::·:j.:::j·
~P : ..·.·.I.·:·:·:·:·:· a:··:i::::i~:j::::j::::::·;:::::::::'
:~:i.:~~:~.~::::~:~~.:'· ~· ~1~ .sx·:·:::~:i::::::j·:j:l:j~:i'.'·'·'.:.:.:':':;'.'
sr~ ·w-·zs·;··:;.s::wx:~:~:ji:~:: :::jca:~:j;Ww i:i:·:'::·::::i::::::::;j
~i~:~:~i~i~j~~:::::::1 i, ~:'·" j: ~a~x~ :::·j:.::1·.·,:,;j~:j::::j:.:::::,:,:
:~.:·:~::~:s~:~:~::~:;~ ,~:~:~i~:~.:B·~i~::~:·~:ii~::~:~,::~~:~i :i·:::·::::::::~j:.:::j.:i~:·x·:·.·~.::: ,:j
·;~·?:·:o'·:·:~t~·: :::·:::·:·.··:;·-·:·:.·:·;·.·. ·.···:·:·:-:· ·. .;
:r~;~ iii:~~: :Zi~ :':::':::j::t::':~i8::i:I.:::::i:::li:ii I::::.'::::::::ii.·:i:::·::
~::5d i:·: ·:i:'!S::~~~i:i;:i:·:·:·1:····:·:·: :i: "·:·:·:·-·.··:···:·.c·
i: :.~i:~:t:i:~~i:::j:~:~:::;·:::.·~:~.~·:o :·-···:··;·····:.~j:;,~~::~::
·:·:·:·:·.·:··.· x _..·.·.·.·.·...·...:·:·
::,:::j,:.::::.jjjji.:·::·:i:jii:~:::::~ ·ij·.::::::i.::::::::n·:::~i.:`::lt:~::::j:a::::i·:i:-··w·-··;····· ···· ····-·:·;·
:%~j: ~:. .::,:;.·:·;·.·.1.:.:·:.:·:·;·:·;
) ;······ ;;,;.-.:··.·~·.·::·:·;·:·:·:~;~·:::;:;:::.:,:::j~r:I:~~::~::I::':::i.jl·~::'ii::
XSj...:,: · ··-~-·-~·'~·'·' '· ··-~
-~:· ;~.·· :::'ijj:,ii·:·:·'·:·::ic'·:·:C"'·''.`'
ment-at all events in the far North-
is a trifle strong, it cannot be doubt- my
ed that enmities are ended and friend
ships strengthened in the general - bei
So then, every Scot, wherever and sae
whatever his let-Scots Wha Hae and
Scots Wha Hinna-will raise the
glass to the New Year, and his heart hu
will turn to the Mecca of his hopes,
the home of his poet and prophet,
Robert Burns. Pe
Writing to an English friend from yo
Scotland in 1802, Henry Bickersteth
says: On December 31 almost every
body has a party, either to dine or
sup, the company almost entirely con
sisting of young people. They wait
together till midnight strikes, at
which time every one begins to move,
and they all fall to work-at what?
Why, kissing! Each male is succes
sively locked in a pure Platonic em
brace with each female. This matter
is not at all confined to those, but
wherever man meets woman it is the BI
privilege of this hour.
New Year's gifts have taken many th
different for~ms at different periods
from the eggs 6xihanged by the Per
sians and the sacred branches of mis
tletoe of the Druids down to the fat
capon which the tenants in many Eng- di
lish counties were expected to pre
sent to their landlords. t
In the sixteenth century, gloves
i were often given on New Year's day,
I and there is record of a certain Mrs.
1 Croaker, in whose favor Sir Thomas i
More had decided a case, sending the
chancellor a pair of gloves with 40 s
I gold angels therein.
S'"Mistress," wrote More, returning
, the money. u3ince it were against
I manners torefuse a New Year's gift, tl
I I am content to take your gloves, but,
I as for the lining I utterly refuse it.". ,
r What precisely is "Hogmanay'"
r Etymologically, it has been derived
L from the . French "au-gui-nlenez,"
"come on to-the mistletoe." The Nor- o
r man .Jeen. .g'sa-gu-l'an-peuf," also an
! assooiation of the New Year and mis
I tletde, seesii .ikelr.r.
e Can anyone tell us precisely, what
was the origin of the custom in some
- parts of England, of the going to the s
' parents' bedroom on New Year's
morning rith new snow (if it can be
Shpad), and the song,
New Year's 4a Ln the morning
The coclks ~ttIn to crow
Open the doos and let me in
g And I'll £I?~*$1iOnre New Year's snow.
te Zulu Trick.
! The ijh soldiers who had
. Mserved ft, 4i.th Africa quicklytaught
S. the allies iWranoe how to sleep com
fortably j ground
T'o 4,sle the ground in the,orgi
.I l wany,, thotit the aid of this
ia South AfroA4 trick, which the English
learned ,rodA the Zulus, is so painful
|ua to be.i mpossible. Sleep, in
stead of ritin, gtisgue.
The Ieulurlck -tsto dig a little hole
` to hol .the4ip bone. The soldier can
then rest t back .or side with equal
comfort. B rises from his slumber
on the -bardtground as refreshed as if
he heha sept on afeather bed.
-Wwuw r 0
A- r1ý- Ss'"r
..,..ý.ý tt ýi ýýt r r ý mac.
..+ . r
. ,. .;>#
e canny Scot.
mei would now be in a
he nod wrltten Brit.
tia s . ntoa on the passenger
). ; 1 officer who stopped
t o. earefully removed
sall . but : Britihsh escaped the
Gert 's . V. An emineat dil
ie sadsd= zoo years ago: "In all
ast'te eg smet with say one
what wase a n of
wt 5*! todst he
NEW IN CONFIDENCE GAMES) They
Mining Promoter Working ih New I down i
York Is Very Evidently a Man but do
of Ideas. overtirt
Fdgar Lewis, moving picture direc- legral
tor, told a story to his guests in a cafe tine re
of a confidbnee man with new ideas. webs re
He called the swindler Nat Pierce in fell or
telling .he story. Mr. Lewis said that one of
he was sitting near a group of rich threado
westerners in the Waldorf when he tiny
heard a voice calling "Nat Pierce, These
please." The westerners became in- stope
terested. One of them said: e(
"That is the name or the clever pro- departt
moter we met today. Let's see who is aret,
calling on 'him." expens
They stopped the page and took the
card. It was that of Senator Elihu
"Ha, ha!" they said, "he must be all tion, A
right. Here is Senator Root's card." of sup
Soon another page came through teache:
"Peacock alley" calling "Nat Pierce, an why
The westerners stopped him and some
looked at the card. It was that of M. signed
Jusserand, the French ambassador. up the
"This is enough!" they chorused, and sharp,
went out to look for Nat Pierce and sWh
his glittering opportunity. They found board
him carelessly shuffling a collection of "The
cards ranging from Governor-elect perint
Whitman's to that of President Poin- drawle
care of the republic of France.-New selves
York Sun. God n
At the First Signs
Of falling hair get Cuticura. It
works wonders. Touch spots of dan- Sol(
druff and itching with Cuticura Oint- many
ment, and follow next morning with a mone'
hot shampoo of Cuticura Soap. This bands
at once arrests failing hair and pro- "Is
motes hair growth. For free sarpple the v
each with 32-p. Skin Book, address she a
post card: Cuticura, Dept. X, Boston. ance.
Sold everywhet'e.-Adv. "A3
Satan's Way. "W
Mrs. Kilgore was the pretty young week
wife of the elderly village pastor. "W
One day she went into the city with my g
a friend aid, among other things, ye 11
bought a new frock. "Another frock, mone
bt- my dear?" said her husband. "Did
nd- you nebd another?" "Yes," said the
wife, hesitatingly, "I do need it; and, A
besides, it was so pretty that the devil tells
nd tempted me." "But you should have his v
ad said, 'Get thee behind me, Satan.' On
Have you forgotten that?" "Oh, no; his
but that was what made the trouble, exch
hubby, dear. I said, 'Get thee behind "y
me, Satan,' and he did, but he whis- comr
pered over my shoulder, .'It just fits spec
you beautifully in the back!' And I so b
Jth ust had to take it then."-Harper's tme
Starting Too High. look
"You told me before I married you
at that my slightest wish would be grati
"So I did, my dear, but I had no CAS
idea at that time that your slightest infai
wish would be a limousine." BE
A Blow to Estheticism. I u
"What's the matter with Professor Chil
e Biggers? Is he suffering from palsy?'"
"No. He began to shudder when
the Germans first bombarded Reims
and he hasn't been able' to stop yet."
More for Your Gash.
"It costs more to live now than it
did in the old days."
pr "Yes, byt you get more' kinds of to
Slife." * you
da, Sorrethlndg' Heirpules Never Did.
Mrs. "Pa, what is meant by 'herculean
ma labort' her
"Hooking a woman up the back, mah
ning At Last Acopunts She Was Dead. girl
15 The Colonel-Is it true, Sogbaek,
Sthat your wife is dead? ,
ut Brother Sogback-Yassah, t'anhy, tell
" sah; or, leastways, she was yiste'dy.
' "What is that story.Bragg is telling
Nr- of h.mself about?" set
an "About, the limit."
what He-Whenever I sing the dog howls. h
lame She--The instinct of imitation, I
the suppose.-Bostof Evening Transcript.
be An -ception.
"I don't -take sany stock in a man
who will b acke this own'business."
"But suppos~ he's i minstrel?" ,'
Eo' His Wife's Ways.
"Isn't your Wt, a clipper?"
"She's more.~ Zhe's a revenue 'cut
com Riult There.
"What fadl the club on hand
oi* now?" "he
this "I believe it' ' ,Imistry."
.o sh I .o
31 ts ivelopment.
pn "How does a'Minguage grow?"
'"I should stippose from the roots a
le of the words."
When the arag* man makes his
s wife an expen4 e present she always
thinks he must be guilty' of some t
COLD / LaGRIPPE s
LL5 or 6 dosesiM will break any case fo
a of Chills &' l~i r, Colds & LaGOrippe;
it acts on theriver better than Calo
Smel and doeqnot gripe or sicena d
i the So'Low Yv Can Only Feel it.
An organ tly installed in Low- g
all ell, Mass.,. ca4 roduce a tone an oc to
Stave lower has ever bien known
Sbefore. It is< Iscibed as a mighty
a h tmospheric b of awesome majes Ith
ty, and soent declare that it must m
be rather felt, an heard.
a- or any - use Hantpgri a Bal- o
! 1 1 1 rýLg~ ~
Industrious Spiders. HIS CC
They have very industrious spiders
wI down in South America. We think Georgia
our spiders here work hard enough, ward t.
but down there they are said to work
overtime. Upon one occasion, at
least, they completely disorganized the A luml
fe telegraph service in part of the Argen- night in a
tine republic by spinning too many woods of
in webs across the lines. As soon as dew of the ho
at fell or shower of rain came on, each fire and
ch one of the innumerable microscopic man had
he threads, becoming wet, set in motion for seven
a tiny leakage of electric current. "You
e, These millions of leaks practically cracker.
stopped the operation of the lines, years."
thus putting the government telegraph "What
is department, especially in Buenos berman.
Aires, to serious inconvenience and "Oh, I
he expense. de kids i
Their Trouble. he asked
A member of the board of educa- "I sit I
tion, serving as chairman of the board when de
gh of superintendents, was in need of a "What
teacher, and he wanted a certain wom- dren gr<
ce, an whom he knew to have passed the ing?" he
nd examination satisfactorily, but who for "Den,
some reason had not yet been as- easy ant
signed. In his indignation he called
up the office of the board and in a
Lnd sharp, impatient voice asked: A you
nd "What is the matter with the house a
nd board of superintendents, anyway?" sistants
of "The trouble with the board of su- their er
ect perintendents," came the slowly tai an
in- drawled reply, "is that they take them- wages t
ew selves too seriously. They forget that The ass
God made them just for the fun of it" their m
-New York Evening Post. keeper,
Wives Have Morey Now. fellow-s
lan- Soldiers' wives find themselves in city of
int- many cases in receipt of much more ported
ha money than they were when their hus- with tl
'his bands were at home. was in
pro- "Is a' this money for me?" asked lecture
iple the wife of a Glasgow soldier when "I hE
:ess she received her first week's allow- who cc
ton. ance. vided i
"Aye, a' for you," responded the "Oh,
genial pay sergeant. reply.
"Will I hae a' this money every compla
sung week?" provide
itor. "Weel, then," said she, "ye can tak'
with my guid man an' keep him as long as
ngs, ye like. I never had sae muckle
ock, money before."-London Chronicle. Will e
'Did kinds I
the Fastidious Shopping, Crampi
and, A butcher in a "nice part" of town Old 8
levil tells of the curious whims of some of Anodyl
have his well-to-do patrons.
tan.' One of them, it appears, rushed into
no; his shop just about closing time and
able, exclaimed: her hE
hind "My husband desired that I should but d
whis- come in this afternoon and order some money
fits special English chops, and I've been "W1
nd I so busy until now I haven't had the Thi
per's time. Now I shall be compelled to on mc
carry them. And couldn't you please nmbE
have them wrapped so that .they will sivin
look like a book?" pl ers
rati- Important to Mothers of ex:
Examine carefully every bottle of latera
I no CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for ters a
htest infants and children, and see that it
In Use.For Over 80 Years.
Children Cry for Fletchefs E sto r ia
when Knew His Daughter. Paull
Leims Young Man--I have called, sir, to Da
e request the hand of your daughter in in tl
Grumbells-Has she accepted you? F
Young Man-Yes, sir. d
Grumbells-Then why do you want
s of to come round and bother me with uncle
S your troubles?
u Lizzie Would Stay.
Mrs. Atwell had had a quarrel with
back her maid, Lizzie, and the maid re- dress
marked that she would leave.
"Lizzie," said the mistress, severe
d. ly, "you must stay until I get another girls,
lbe I intend to, mum," said Lizzie.
"8hure It. only right some wan should
tell her the kind of a woman ye are."
lg "Hqw do you explain the reported
reduction in the size of Boston's smart
"Oh, in the usual way." Fat
"And how is that?"
"There's a strong-minded woman be
Ion, I hind it. Jol
Visible Proof. good
"Clublelgh's wife is deatf and is nu
"Does she talk with her fi.ngers?"
s. "I guess so. Clubleigh hasn't a do.- U6
S enhairs left onhis head." V
L 'cut "Why did Congressman Blowster re- Brid
tire to private lite?" Bd
"Oh, for the ,u.al reason."r
"And what was that?' iproul
hand "Another man got more votes than ,t
he did." Brid
At tne Front. oi
'"I have enlisted as a chauffeur."
"Well, my boy, drive your car like
a man and a soldier."
t"Father, I'll spill my last drop of ed
gasoline in defense of my country."
always By the time a woman -cqulires a
sme- third husband she begins to think her pe
attractions are irresistiblea:.
When a woman builds an air castle for
she always uses a man's heart as the her
ly case foundation.
1 Cale. A coat hanger to which.~) attached a cate
sicken, clothes brush has been patented by a debt
I It. 8tart the year by getting Hanford's top
n Low- Balsam. You will find ft~quent use
an C o- r it. Adt.
mighty Some people can't evenittand up for of '
males their rights without ffe high and gin
'It's the luok of othe people that you
'a Eal matkes the average man dissatisfied the
a chrrI s formed vale
d after. nas
HIS COMING TIME OF EASEIF
Georgia Farmer Was Looking For- -j
ward to Period When Hard Work
Should Be Over.
o A lumber buyer was staying over-i
night in a little farmhouse in the back
Y woods of northern Georgia. The men
of the house did nothing but sit by the W
h fire and chew tobacco. The lumber- al
C man had told how he had held his job
n for seven years.
t* "You got me beat," said the old
Y cracker. "I've only held mine for six
h "What is your job?" asked the lum.
id "Oh, I sit by de fire and watch dat
de kids don't fall in."
"What do you do in the summer?"
a- "I sit by de well and pull de kids out
rd when dey falls in."
a "What will you do when the chil
f' dren grow up and don't need watch
1e ing?" he asked.
or "Den, I s'pose I's goner take things
ts- easy and retire," he said.
a Not Quite the Same.
A youth was employed in a business
he house a few years ago where the as
sistants had their meals supplied by
3u- their employer, who deducted a cer
nly tain amount each week from their
m- wages to defray the cost of the food.
hat The assistants were not satisfied with
*t" their meals, and one day the house
keeper, highly incensed at the re
marks passed by the youth and his
fellow-sufferers concerning the scar
in city of food on the dinner table, re- U
ore ported the matter to the principal,
us- with the result that the young fellow
was invited the next day to a free
red lecture by his employer, who began:
yen "I hear that you were -one of those a
ow- who complained about what was pro- ti
vided for dinner yesterday?" h
the "Oh, no, sir!" came the unexpected h
reply. "You heard wrongly. What Id
ery complained about was what was not h
Will cure your Rheumatism and all t
kinds of aches and pains-Neuralgia, a
Cramps, Colic, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts,
,wn Old Sores, Burns, etc. Antiseptic 1
e of Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
andto Excuse me," said Bridget, putting
her head in at the cashier's window,
ould "but do Oi ndhersthand thot yez lind
ome money here on character?"
een "Why-yes," hesitated the cashier.
"Thin Oi'd loike -fifty dhollars, sorr,
to on moine," said Bridget, producing a
ease number of greasy references. "They's
will sivin uv thim from me previous im
But the cashier had fled. The idea
of explaining the intricacies of col
e of lateral to a lady with seven charac
rfor ters was too appalling.-Judge.
m He Knew Two.
Miss Paull was one of the teachers
at the mission Sunday school. One
Sunday the subject of the lesson *as
"The Second Commandment," and Miss
Paull began by asking little Adelbert
Dugan the question:
'r to "Now, Adelbert, have we 'any idols
r in in this country?"
For a moment the, boy hesitated,
you? and then replied:
ant "Yes, ma'am. Me dad's idle, and me
Overheard by Mr. Mills.
At lunch, a Western Union office
with girl was reading a letter from a chum
S to the other girls. Describing a new
dress the letter said: "It is certain
e ly fin de siecle."
'Tin de sickle," repeated one of the
ther girls, "what does that mean?"
"I don't know. Fin sounds like a
hole fish. Maybe it means it was trimmed
holdwith fish net."-New York Sun.
It Made a Difference.
orted Johnnie (puzzled as to how to Dro
Snounce the name of an employer)
Say, father, do you pronounce K-n-u-d
with a long or shabort "u?"
Father (who, of course, doesn't
Sbeknow)-Oh, it don't make any dif
Johnnie-Well, I guess it makes a
good bit of difference whether a man
. and is nud or nude up in the arctic regions
The governor's wife was telling
Bridget about her husband.
"My husband, Bridget," she said,
proudly, "is at the head of the state
han "Oi thought as much, ma'am," said
Bridget, cheerfully; "ain't he got th'
foine malicious look!"
Sle A Slow Learner.
"I fear that Jobson was not intend
'op of ed to have a cooking school wife."
S "And why not?"
"He's been married two years and
hasn't yet learned how to use a can
ik opener with neatness and dispatch."
The woman who is always looking
castle for the latest wrinkle falls to look in
as the her mirror.
He is a fortunate man who can
chd a catch up with his ambitions and his
i by a debts.
That there is plenty of room at the
rd' top may be due to the fact that so
at e many of us are too lazy to climb.
Universal peace is merely a matter
up for of waiting for the other fellow to be
h and gin the fight.
Early to bed and early to rise, and
e that you will probably have to look after
itisfied the fires.
Discretion may be the better part of
formed valor, but it is often only another
,tar.. n ame for lack of netre.
-mild, delightful Tur
choicest of leaf-al
ways a pure and
"Distinctioely Individual "
J rai ý
ALL THEY COULD HOPE FOR
e. Under the Circumstances Almost End
less Entertainments Should Have
Been in Order.
a: There is a certain Chicago man ot
se a remarkably cheerful and optimistio
turn of mind. His wife, on the other
hand, takes things very seriously, and
ed has no small difficulty in accommo
. dating herself to the peculiarities of
Lot his friends when, as not infrequently
happens, tuey differ from her own.
"Henry," said she to her husband,
one evening, when she had returned
home more or less agitated by some
all thing. "What do you think they say
fa, about Mrs. Eaton, the baker's wife!"
ts, "I'm sure I don't know," said the
tic husband. "Nothing serious, I hope."
"They say they can tell when she's
going to have callers by her washing
the children's faces! Now, you're
Ing a pretty sanguine man, Henry, but
° what on earth can you hope for a
ind woman like that?"
"Well," said Henry, "I suppose all
ier. we can hope for is that she entertain. ,
err, a good deal."
For sore feet rub on Hanford'se a
sam. Adv. a
dea What He Meant.
col- "Perhaps it is best, after all," re'
rac- marked the rejected suitor, as he lin
gered in the hall: "A man of twenty
five would soon tire of a wife who
hovered round the thirty-two mark."
iers "Why, Mr. Ardent," said the woman
)ne it the case, '"how very ungallant q'$
kas you to insinuate that I am thirty-tWOe.
Liss "Well, perhaps you are not," he re..
)ert plied, "but it certainly struck me thatl
you. were somewhere near the freer
101 ilug point." I
ted, a An Awful Vision.
On an English golf links there is a
me notice to the effect that "mistresses
are invited to allow their housemaitd I
to practice rifle shooting at the range."
This excites great disgust among the .
Ice recruits. One of them told me of an
um I awful vision he had in consequen
new He saw the Germans arriving in tows
ain- and, meeting them in deadly combat,
the local corps of housemaids, while
the the members of the "new army" had
to busy themselves getting the meals '
:ea and making the beds!-The By,/.'
rned stander. -
The Best Liniment
Fpr falls on icy walks, sprains anl
pro- braises, rub on and rub in Hanford's
r)- Balsam of Myrrh. Apply this liniment,
i-u-d thoroughly and relief should quickly.
din- "Hope Springs EternaL"
dif Lady Bountiful-Oh, rector, t i
thought you would like to know thsa$
es a old Jones is laid up with rheumatl
Rector-Thank you so much. ITat
always so glad to hear of a sick pah
rat ishioner.-From the Bystander.
No Hope at All.
"I presume that a poet would starvS°
ing to death in this place'
"Yes, if he lived that long."
tate The wise young man keeps on the
right side of his rich uncle who is
said deaf in his left ear.
The highest rate of interest is on
the trouble that you borrow.
tend- Really big men are measured hI
what they do, not by what they say.
and Virginia druggists, too, are looki2
an for better times.
fOR OLD AND YOUNG
'Fet's UvPPas atas kindly on the c"
the ad*ct kaeu ore firma old age, as mpeg..
give tone and .strenLt .tb@ . , .
bowels, kidneys sd blIdd.e .,--- ;
DR. J. D. KE.LOOQ'S
Remedy for the prompt relief 44t
Asthma and Hay Fever. Left YoUA
druggist for It. WIdtSe tV1 FREEIMIp
NORHIRUP & LYMAN cO .,WUFFALU.,N.
"------- --- 6 er- '!
Build Up With ,O Ier
Te old intersmih'sr
remomai. achiland Tonle
lever. McoMld P Ia and1. o.
w. N. U., MEMPHIS NO. 52-9'
xml | txt