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VITS OF THE HOUSE.
HUMORISTS WHO ENLIVEN THE PRO
CEEDINGS OF CONGRESS.
Chief Among Them I. "Private"
John Allen. Now Serving His Last
Term-His Mantle Likely to Fall on
WASTHJAGTON, Dec. 24. - Every con
gress has its humorist, and some of
them have half a dozen. There is al
ways some member whose keen wit,
mirth provoking drollery and talent as
a story teller make him a distinctive
character among' his fellows. Such a
character was the late S. S. Cox, who
years ago was recognized as the hu
mnorist of the house of representatives,
though he was much more than a 1u
wtorist. So. indeed, have been most of
the so called funny men of congress.
It well nigh broke Sunset Cox's heart
thoee by Bell. Washingttas
JON M. AJ.I. .
ihecause the house refused to take him
seriously long enough to make hilm
speaker, though he was recognized as
fully competent for that position.
W~liam E. Mason, now Illinols' jun.
Rer senator, won much distinction as a
&...,lt.and story teller while serving in
the house. And there are others. The
greatest of these, however. is "Private"
John M. Allen of Mississippi. who Is
now serving his last term in congress,
haying refused unanimous renomina
tion and certain re-election. For 15
years there has tben none to contest
his pre-eminence as the humorist of
'she house, and all of his colleagues
who have been re-elected to the Fifty
seventh congress sincerely regret that
he is not to return, a regret shared
alike by Republicans and Democrats
and even by those who have had occa
lon to wince under the shafts of his
keen wit. -Mr. Allen is a pronounced
partisan, and his speeches are often,
leveled at the Republicans or at some
particular Republican member, but
there, is no venom In his humor, and
his opponents laugh as heartily as his
Democratic colleagues at the droll sto
rtes with which be is accustomed to Ul
lustrate a point or clinch an argument.
jDell stories, witty sallies, trite aphor.
'hens andi pngent sayings are so deftly
woven lte his speeches as to make
them tbeastIbla as humor and telling
as argueeat. Mr. Allen first took his
least in egesa to member. 186. and
to his Beat term earned a reputa.
a a'wi* whekhhe has sustalmed
inevr dose Were bth e was on the
eerase always been mseceet to emp.
ty the dtesaresms and eprridors and
l the uora Bad galeres eof the homes
l the Iest cogres. whem Mr. Allen
'stgamed a place oel the eeaualttee on
tias.sheeommttlee of second
to the bese, and when he
4hegdi.*aspire to a seat in the senate,
>he tried to cultivate a dignified, sanea
jltip4.style, but he eould not let pass
1* e opportunity to tell a good story.
9 ttme In the midst of a dry speech
t the figures of an appropriation
se would convulse the house with
ter with smen quaint sanedote of
se.tberu lie. Ue was disappolated in
We aabition to become United States
.seater, baling been defeated by G.v
-rer McLrari. Mr. Alles It unques.
Utleasbly one of the ablest men to MIs.
Osulp sand one of the beast know. and
0" liked, and his itoese to serie in
as ape' blik *f compels qMWe ot
be questioned. Wa.. ;t because hb' peo
ple refused to take him seriously that
he was denied the senatorial toga? At
all events he has given notice that he
will retire from public lUfe after the
4th of next March and will go back to
Tupelo and practice law.
There is. however, another phase of
John Allen's chara-cter hesides that of
humorist and story r(ler. iHe is a
modest, able. active and conscientious
legislator, whose vote and voice in con
gress mean much to his constituents.
to his country and to his par'y. It is
for his qualities as a man mnre than
for his talent as a humorist that John
Allen is highly regarded by all his con
temporaries and for which he will be
missed in the next congress.
Congressmen are already disc:ssing
the question as to who shall s-.ec d
"Private" John Allen as the humori t
of the house. Perhaps Champ ('larl
of Missouri possesses these qualities
more fully than any other man in con
gross. lie Is the most picturesque tig
ure in the house. He is keen of wit, vi
vacious. epigrammatic and possesses a
marvelous fund of anecdote and story.
His metaphors and similes are spar
kling and original, arousing at times
uncontrollable merriment, though giv
Ilg evidence that there are thought,
purpose, character and ability behind
the gene. ous flow of wit and humor.
QUAIL SHOOTING IN VIRGINIA
Rare Sport it Ia Hunting the Gamy
[Special Correspondence 1
HANOVER. Va., Dec. 24.-Virginia, the
"mother of states and statesmen," is,
with all its other attractions, the para
dise of sportsmen. With dog and gun.
It seems to me, a man can have more
sport right here in old Virginia than
almost anywhere else in the country,
or at least anywhere within reasonable
distance of the centers of population.
This Is the home of bobwhite, the
gamiest of game birds. The season for
the shooting of quail in this state is
now well advanced-in some counties
it is almost over-but there Is still op
portunity for bunting in this section,
and with a keen scented pointer one
can readily raise a covey of birds, and
if he is a reasonably good shot he
ought to be able to take a good bag of
game. The open season in this county
and in many other of the counties con
tinues until Feb. 1 and in a few of the
counties until the 14th of February.
The quail is so thoroughly identified
with this state that naturalists have,
In addition to its genus name, ortyx,
AFTER QUAIL IN VINGINIA.
designated It Virgtnianus-a just trib
ute. for nearly every hill and dale of
the Old Dominion holds its bevy of
these little brown "bords." as they are
fondly called by the natives. But few
sectIons of the state are without them.
and the scarcity of the birds in those
sections, if scarcity It can be called, is
caused by the prosperous cattle gras
ers reducing the plantatons to grass.
thus destroying the cover in which the
quail love to dwell. Bobwhite is one
of the most domestic ot all the wild
bird family. His disposition to fre'
quest the localities close to human
habitations is 'peculýr to.bimself and
folowed by no other bird. He seems
almost to love the society of man.
So pretty, so small and apparently
so confiding is our little friend the
qIl that it seems almost a shame to
kill him. And so indeed it is to kill
him after the manner of the pot hunt
er. ,To take him except on the wing.
as be goes of with a soul stirring
whir on his arrowy flight across the
fields. is downright criminaL Hunting
Bob fairly and decently with dog and
gun is not murder, but an entirely dif
ferent thing-it is sport.
The first necessity for quail shooting
:s a good and well broken dog. Either
.pointer or setter will do. You may
have a 5500 Llewellia with a good
pedigree. You will do better to tie him
up and go borrow Bill Jones' sunburnt
pointer or an old lemon and white
setter which never flushes and never
mangles a bird in retrieving when you
order him in. Without the dog, and a
good, well broken one at that, there
can be no quail shooting in the sports
man's sense, but In the sharp, crisp
air of the bracing fall and winter days.
when the sun has melted the snow like
frost sad the scent Bles low and strong,
thq sportsman, with the dog and gun
he loves, can find the highest type of
sportsmanly enjoyment. On a good
seenting day and In a good quail coun
try, such as is found in this and other
sections of Virginia, the man who likes
bunting for the sake of hunting, and
not for the mere sake of killing birds.
Is sure of a good day's sport. His dog
must be fast, and. if the field is large
and open, the sport begins the moment
the dog is cast off. It is a sight to
warm a man's blood to see a well
bred, well broken dog beating out a
stubble or weed field in quest of the
game. Then suddenly there rises from
asthicket or hunch of dry leaves a bevy
of the browv, swift flying little beau
ties. Crack goes the gun, and he must
be quick and accurate of aim if he
brings them to bag. But it Is great
sport. and mowbere is It so enjoyable
as on the veldts of Virginia in these
crisp. lavigorating December days.
CASSoLL WAU &cu*Boes.
A London Clergyman Who Has Hit
Upon a New Idea..
Almost within shadow of the Monu
ment stands the most extraordinary
church in London. This sacred edilice
is known as St. Mary-at-Hill.
Into an interior which carries one
back to long (ead ages- the oaken fa
cade and pulpit are nearly five centu
ries old-a modern, not to say sensa
tional, note has been interpolated in
the hope of solving the problem as to
how to bring back the masses to wor
ship. Tbhis hope has certainly been
gratified, for the editice at every serv
ice time resounds to the tramp of many
feet instead of being left to desolating
emptiness which characterized it for
From under that ancient pulpit the
maw of a huge brass instrument pro
jects itself, a lass drum is seen reared
against the legs of a grand piano, a tri
unial magic lantern is descrited in the
organ loft and before It stretches a
huge white sheet supported by the
fluted columns of the church.
The brass instrument under the pul
pit is called a "'monsterphone." It per
forms pieces of music for the entertain
mnent of the congregation- not necessa
rily sacred music - and it varies its pro
gramume with an occasional address
not exclusively on spiritual thenes.
For the special edifi-ation of a I)aily
Mail representative it gave a capital
rendering of Memdelssohn's "'Weddinig
March." followed by an address by the
Archbishop of Canterbnry couched in
sniple. telling language. such as his
intended hearers would understand.
The ma ic lantern in the organ loft
throws pictures on the screen stretched
across the center aisle. and when serv
Ice Is being held "Captain" It. Coleman,
sometimes with the aid of a speaking
truipet, explains the incideint depict
ed. A skilled pianist presides at the
grand piano, a numnerou, stringed or
chestra ranged before the altar per
forms pieces of music that are known
in every household, the lass drum
booms and echoes through the venera
ble pile, and the Ite'v. W. Carlile or
sonie other preacher tells his congrega
tion some plain home truths, no subtle,
theological hair splitting, no didactics,
but straight rhetorical blows from the
Such Is the scene that may be wit
nessed at St. Mary-at-Hill during the
dinner hour on any week day except
Saturday and every Sunday evening.
It Is the Rev. Mr. CarlIle's method of
bringing the people to church. He has
succeeded, for the congregation, num
bering once basely a dozen, Is now over
600. At midday the workmen in their
toll stained clothes spend part of their
dinner Interval listening to the "mon
sterphone" or looking at the magic lan
tern pictures, and the Sunday congre
gation Is just as homespun in its char
acter. Mr. Carlile Is satisfied with the
results of his novel effort. He Ia con
vinced be is "getting at" the right sort
of people and proudly refers to the bur
glar's picklock and whisky bottle that
were recently left in the pe*s.-Lon
The World's Largest Grapevine.
The world's largest grapevine is lo
cated In the Carpenteria vulley, in San
ta Barbara county. It had its begin
nings in 1842, when a Spanish woman,
one Joaquina Lugod! Ayala by name,
planted a cutting of the old Mission va
riety of grape. From the start it gave
promise of an unusual future, and to
day, after balf a century of growth, it
stands the monarch of the grapevines
I of the world. The trunk measures at
the base 8 feet 4 inches to circumfer
ence. At a height of six feet from the
ground it divides into four main
branches, the largest of which has a
circumference of 3 feet 5 inches.' It
covers an area of 100 by 134 feet. Six
ty-fve stout posts with erossbeams sup
peyt its enormous spread of brapchea.
The present area. large as it may
seem, does not fully represent the pro
digious growth of the vine, for its own
er, Mr. Jacob Wilson, unwilling to con
cede it more room. cuts it back heavily
each year. In 1806 a record was kept
of the amount of grapes yielded by "Ia
vina grande" for that season. and the
astonishing total of ten tons was re
corded. During the World's fair and
again at the time of the California
Midwinter exposition large sums were
offered Mr. Wilson for the removal of
the vine for exhibition purposes, but he
wisely declined both.-California Cor.
Rural New Yorker.
The Gee. Will Temple.
About ten years ago the Rev. J. S.
Bitler, a Methodist minister, saw In a
vision a mighty church built for the
masses in a large city. Since that time
It has been the object of his life to
build that temple. He discovered no
means, however, with which to build
the structure until a year ago last Au
gust, when he met A. J. Wharton, a
rich mine owner of Colorado. To him
Mr. Bitler unfolded his plan, which met
with such favor in the eyes of the mine
owner that be decided to give his aid to
the work.. He presented to Bitler 100
acres of jmining land, and a telegram
the other day announced a rich strike
on the land worth $1,000,000. Mr. Bit
ler says that be will build a church in
Chicago to be called the Good WW1 tem
An Exeellent Blunder.
Blunders are always entertaining to
people who are better informed than
those who make them. A choice selec
tion brightens the pages of the report
of the board of education for 1890-1900.
It would be difficult to beat the follow
ing passage from an answer as to the
carbon dioxide present in the air: "It
you seal up In a tube a plant in one
bulb and an animal in the other. the
plant will produce the exygen neces
sary for the animal and the animal the
C02 necessary for the plant, and they
will go on living together for hundreds
of years."- London Telegraph.
A BIT OF LACE.
Napoleon Slapped Josephine's Face
Because She (at It.
For $2,000 has been sold in Paris a
piece of lace which was the cause of a
quarrel between Napoleon and .Joseph
in.. in which the cheeks of the empress
were slapped. It had been the proper
ty of Mile. l'erusset, daughter of a fa
vorite maid of the flighty empress. Na
poleon had brought the lace from Italy.
He often brought her beautiful things
on his return from a successful ca(t
paign, and Josephine never asked him
how he had got them, for she thought
that perhaps he would not care to tell.
It was a large square of the fuest old
point de venise, and Josephine as soon
as she bad it in her possession sent for
M. Duplan, her man milliner. and ask
ed him to make with it a certain tichu
and a peplum.
"Inmpossilile. your majesty." answer
ed Duplan. "The piece is too large.
and we could not arrange it graceful
"Well, cut it then!"
"Cut a treasure such as that! Oh,
madam, I could not do such a thing."
"Nonsense!" cried Josephine. The
lace was draped on her shoulders. She
knew how she wanted it. So she calm
ly took a pair of scissors and in a sec
ond had it set right, while long. narrow
pieces of the priceless stuff fell round
At this moment the emperor entered
the room. "Cannibal!" he cried. And
he gave her a sounding slap on her vio
lently rouged cheeks, which were soon
covered with tears. Duplan discreetly
withdrew, and the lace was thrown In
to a chest of drawers. .Josephine could
not hear the sight of it after that and
at last gave it to Mme. I'erusset, her
favorite maid. The odd bits of it have
now been sold for $2,000. Another bun
dle fetched $1.000.
The passion of Josephine for lace
caused frequent scenes between her
and Napoleon. She would 'save lace,
and she sellom let anything stand in
the way of acquiring It. It is even said
that this frivolous fancy helped to
bring about her downfa!l, for Napo
leon, who at fi'-st would not hear of
forsaking her, one day said to the
Prince de Wagram: "The cup is full
now, prince. What do you think Jo
sephine did lately? 'Nobbled' one of
my young generals and made him pass
lace for her in his top boots through my
own frontier! Her soul Is made of lace,
prince, and that is too fragile a stuff
for an empress' soul!"-New York
"KING OF INVALIDS."
The Plight Which Gave That Title
to a Tomas Philadelphian.
In a small dwelling at 1218 Cabot
street, a little thoroughfare running
west of Twe'fih street just above Gi
rard avenue, lies a young nan known
throughout the length and breadth of
this broad land as the "king of Inva
lids." His throne is a bed from which
he has not moved for ten years.
As his only companions, his faith
ful nurse. Miss Carrie Dontry, and his
pet dog. Charles H. Conrad waits for
death, with the knowledge that noth
ing else can ever release imn from his
sufferings. Science can offer him no
hope, for hundreds of the most emi
neat physicians have visited his bed
side and turned away with a shake of
Rheumatoid arthritis is the name of
the strange malady with which he is
aeicted, and its effect is the formation
of bone around the joints, rendering
them extremely sensitive and perfectly
motionless. Elbows, wrists, knees and
ankles are all dislocated and abnormal
ly enlarged. while the rest of the trunk
to emaciated, and trunk and limbs are
alike contorted and twisted.
It is not ossification pure and simple.
as in this case Conrad's sufferings
would be much less. As it is. his whole
body Is so sensitive that the least
touch causes excruciating agony. His
arms are bent Inward, the left hand
slowly growing toward the stomach.
between which and it a heavy pad of
cloth is placed In an effort to change
Conrad was a strong and athletically
built young man when 21 years old,
now ten years ago. Exposure brought
on rheumatism, and this developed into
the present malady.
Through his nurse he is kept in com
munication with every chronic invalid
in the country, and by them he has
been given the title of the "king of in
Paid Sunday School Teachers.
For some time the Sunday sebcoi
teachers of the Arlington Street church
of Boston have been paid, and the plan
is said to work well. The pastor, the
Rev. Paul Revere Frothingbam, says:
"Sunday school teachers are very much
better than they used to be. Teachers
today have to have some fitness for the
work. .The time is coming when It will
be considered a distinction to be allow
ed to teach. A Sunday school teacher
should be able to tell plenty of stories.
Children remember stories and so re
member what the story teaches. Sto
ries should be picturesque and should
appeal to the fancy. Jesus himself was
an Incessant story teller."
How Wales Eats.
The Prince of Wales Is very conserv
ative in the matter of eating and drink
ing. He dislikes long lists of comesti
bles, and as to beverages it is well
known to his friends that only certain
wines are acceptable to his palate. He
is also very particular as to what ci
gars he smokes. The heir apparent
likes to sit down at a fixvd hour to his
meals and. very rightly, waits for no
body. Indeed it is recorded of him
that on one occasion a relative of the
prince, a personage of high degsee, ar
rived an hour late for luncheon. His
royal highness observed: "I hope you
will like the ceffee. It is still quite
SOFTENED BY ACE.
Awarded Gold Medal at Atlanta Exposition.
Is the best and purest
Rye Whiskey so.d
in the South.
R. F. BALKE & CO., Proprietors,
CINCINNATI, U. S. A.
Orders mailed to our head office will be
Oiled from our nearest accredl ad distributor,
N ational Bank
CAP TAL P C R.T . L A..
SURPLU : ctnde-1.000.
PET YTOU REE.................Preside.
H H. YOUREE ........Vrn.Prssident
A. T. KAHN............Asslstant Cashier
Accounts and collections respect
Merchant I ailor
Texas Street. nearly op posite
the Baptist Church.
FIRST CLASS WORK
Orderr solicited. Satisfaction Gus
ant( ed. Attention given to R
usiring and Cleaning.
R. SOFIA i2t
Fresh Oysters Received Daly.
OPEN DAY AND NIGHT
PRICES-From shell, per dos 40c: cook
ed in any style, 508; eansed oysters So per
can. Bulk oysters per dozen, 16c, or two
dczen for S5c.
Iresh Fruits and Nuts of all kinds, ei
gara. obacco and fresh canned goods.
G G Williams Printing Co. Ld
HE BEST FROM TES
We are now prepare,. to o aay kiiaJ o
BOOA BINDING, RULING, GOLD LET
TERING ON LEATHER, ETC.,
Flat Openers are just as easy. We
have the machiaery to do this
Work with. and men who know
to do It.
But don't forget that we are better
than ever prepared to print any
thing, big or little.
Let us do your Order Blanks.
We don't know how to do a',thlag but
Rule, Uind;Books;and Print,
U. f. Williams,
er esident and Manage
Phone 120. Bhreveport. La
No. 6S 4.-ln First Distriot Court of
Louisiana-Parish of Caddo-Tusten A
Wail vs C L Bland.
By virtue of a commission to sell to me
issued by the Honorable First Judicis
District Court of Ctdbo parish, Louisiana
in the above entitled and numbered suit, I
will sell at public auction for cash with
the bnaefit of appraisement, at the piece of
business recently oooupied by delendant
on Jordan street, in Shreveport, La., dar
ing the legal hours for sales, on
SATURDAY, JANUARY, 5Th, 1901,
the following described personal property,
to-wit: All of the stock of merchandise,
Sxturee :and other property attached Is
said suit as per inveLtory of same on f1ie
tn the offee of the district clers, Caddo
parish, and ordered sold as perishable
property. S .1 W A:J;),
Sherif Caddo Psrish.
Caucasian, Dec. 2d. 1W4J.
First Natiollal Bank
Of the City of Shreveport aaaj
W B Jacobs, - - - - - Presides
W T Crawtord - - - Vice-President
W J Baveredortier .- - - Cashier
J.M Foster. J S Noel,
Henry Florsheinu, S u Dreyfus,
W F Dillon, Wm WinteR
W T Crawford, W B Jacobs,
Jobu P Scott.
Always Fr .
Roasted and Grob
Every Day .ý
For a cup of Delicioto Coffee:
Reguiar Yeales-L 3kfasg 6
to 8. D)inner 12 to ?pm. Sup
per 5:30 to 8 pnm. Short orders
at ail hours.
J. BVCCOLO da CO. Prop.
W. W. WARING
AND DKALER I N;FINE
516 and 521 EDWARDS STREET,
Next to I elerbone Exchanre. :right int
the busineth Wenter 02 the city.
Full line of Guaranteed Pocket Cutlery,
Scissore, etc. Iall line of Window, Snow
CAse, Maze, ;bap and Cathedral Wiass.
Call ana see me In my new store.
Bottom 1 rices for cash or on credit.
Telephones: Store, 320; residesce, W99.
Orders L)r Coffie.s attended to day or
night, as usual.
ETO( KBL LD1 R8' MEETIN(1
Nolhce is hereby given that a stncahold.
era' meeting of the Hunter Canal Compa
ny, Lt.1., will be b t!d al the ofi6 se of said
t osupaly in Su~srveport. Li., on toe arsi
Tueeday in January, I 31, at H m, for the
purpose of electing a board of directors of
the said company, and to transact sonc
bLainess as my ieoally come before thp
said mseting. This December 1, 1100.
W. H. HU4TIR,JR
8e retary So. r.
Quiekly seenred OU TEP DUE WHEN PATERT
ORTAINID Send model. sk tch or $ht0 with
Am.eriptinn for free reportate patentabilito 45 CAsE
HAND-BOOK FREN Cuenawns oefrn es an'. ful
information WRI& FOR COPY OF OUR SPECIAL
OWWER. Iiisthe mostliberalnprEw ationever mad Iv
a tent attorney, and EVEY? uIVENTOa SHOVLD
n T by for applyint for patent. Ad rves:
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u.nr esales. WASHINGTON, D. C.
and Trade-Marks obtained eao au r
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and we car, secure Atu'isleftI ISmm 0 fii
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Send models drewotg ao photo., with
lion. Wepdvese, if patentable et awo, free
churge. tee not oan dC patent is secuoed
A PAUPMLST* How to Obtain Patent,,"
cost of same to thM U. 6. and creenac
sent free. AMddest,
C.A. SNOW& CO4
O .. PAN 0W.Waswsw4Tem. 0 0.
CU R D wils
ropsy egetale rem
cored mano thousand cases called bo pe
less. In ten days at least two-thirds
of all symptoms removed. Testfmonl.1.
and ten days treatment free. Dr H8,
Green's eone. Box K. Atlanta. Ga.
Fueu, CAaUALTY, INDEMNITY, BowiS
AND FIDELITY INSURANCL,
;lea? Estate, Rental and Finauels
PHONE 25, 8R.
Sti'FI(,E- 124Milam street