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v: RttW PROSPERITY CMMWtH.—L- •AINNEAPOUS JOURNAL. PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. Want of care does us more damage than want of knowledge.—Chicago Journal. As an all-around optimist Cupid is pretty near the real thing.—Chicago Daily News. Some people who give with one hand, shake ,the fist of the other hand.— Atchison Globe. Reason Enough.—Friend—"Why did you refuse that handsome young wid ower?" Miss Mainchaiice—"He hasn't any relatives that I can send his chil dren to."—X. Y. Weekly. A Mighty Difference.—Truckman— "That piece of machinery is too heavy for myhorse to draw. It weighs a ton." Merchant—"What has he been used to drawing?" Truckman—"Tons of coal." —Town Topics. As She Understood It.—She—"George Washington must Tiave had a remark able memory/" He-r-"Why do you think that?" She—"I have seen so many monuments erected to it."—De troit Free Press. Modern Realism.—Modern Author— ••Which is the phonograph I took to Mrs. Forundred's reception?" His Wife—"This is the one." Modern Au thor—"Very well. Tell my secretary to copy it off and send it to the High tone Magazine. I promised them a new society novel this week."—N. Y. Weekly. Stupid Man.—She (over 'phone)— "Those wrappers I spoke of are more expensive than I thought—$3.98 and $10.08. One is made of French flannel and the other of lady's cloth, but they're both pretty." He—"But which t9 the more expensive?" She—"Why, the $10.98 one, of course. Stupid!"— Philadelphia Press. A Mean Uilnnatiu. The commencement exercises of the high school had passed off with entire success, and at the request of the principal the diplomas of the school had been delivered by Col. Wye, president of the school board, a worthy but somewhat pompous citizen, to whom nothing had ever happened to shake his high opinion of himself. At the close of the proceedings the principal, with the praiseworthy pur pose of sayiug something compli mentary to his eminent colaborer in the cause of education, took occasion to observe: "You acquitted yourself finely, col onel. Your remarks were well chosen." "Well chosen!" echoed the colonel, turning red. "I want you to un derstand, sir, that those remarks were not 'chosen' at all. Every word I uttered was original, sir!"—Youth's Companion. It Begins to Look ~as if Canada Were Annexing (J. S. 'By Cfje Batlroabs anto tfje people SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY. A damaged footballer hits just been fitted at a London hospital with a cel luloid nose. The value of the exports of animals and animal products for the year end ed June 30,1902, amounted to the large sum of $244,733,062. Prof. Lawrence Briiner, state ethy. nologist at the University of Nebraska! has a collection of 60,000 grasshoppers, among which are to be found 20,000 distinct species. Becquerel has shown that radium emits cathode rays moving at a veloc ity of over 120,000 miles per second. A particle traveling with this velocity, and starting from the ..earth, would reach the moon in two seconds. The German Ornithological society lias been conducting experiments with pigeons, and finds that when liberated at a height of 9,000 feet down to as lit tle as 2,700 feet, they drop rapidly to a much lower region of the atmosphere. At the end of 1901 the number of sailing vessels flying the iiritish~ flag was 7,227 .of steamers thex*e were 8,147. Leaving sailing vessels out of account it is estimated by various well-in formed officials of shipowners' socie ties that out of these 8,147 steamers about 6,947 were tramps and only 1,200 were liners. A German ornithologist points out that the diminution in the number of song birds in his country is not caused entirely by the Italians who slaughter the migratory birds in winter by whole sale. Much is also due to the depreda tions of cats and to the disappearance of shrubbery in which the birds could hatch their eggs. Nearly all the important manufac tures entering into the export trade of the United States show an increase in 1902, the chief exceptions being iron and steel and refined mineral oil. Ir#n and steel manufactures show a de crease of over four and one-half mil lion dollars, and mineral oils a reduc tion of four millions. Copper manu factures showed the largest gain— $12,000,000. Tratlt Come* Oat. Mistress (angrily)—I thought you said you could-do plain sewing? New Maid—So I did, ma'am. "Just look at the stitches in this apron you made. I can see them across the room." "Yes, ma'am. Isn't that plain enough to satisfy you, ma'am?"— Chicago Daily News. Home-Seekera la the Korthweat. Railroad men say that 70,000 home seekers, with their families, have set tled in Idaho, Washington and Oregon. The Canadian Pacific has carried over 100,000 people to Manitoba in the last year. CHAS. A. PROUTY, Inttrjlat* Commtrce Commijjt'ontr. S COMBINATIONS of railroads have grown in number and extent the alarmed public has been repeatedly assured that there was no danger of an advance in freight rates. YET RATES HAVE BEEN ADVANCED AND ARE STILL ADVANCING. Within the last three years the combination of anthracite coal roads has increased the cost of coal from one dollar to two dollars a ton to the consume!? In four years the common stock of the Reading road alone advanced about 300 per cent. The interstate commerce commission investigated the advance of the hay rates, and it decided that the advance was unjustifiable. NO ATTENTION HAS BEEN PAID OR WILL BE PAID TO THIS DECISION, FOR THE COMMISSION HAS NOT THE POWER TO ENFORCE ITS FINDINGS. What should be done to better such conditions We must cre ate a commerce court. This tribunal should review and enforce the findings of the interstate commerce commission, and appeal from this body should be to the supreme court of the United States. The railroad is the greatest and most dangerous of all monopo lies. Every advance in rates levies a tax upon the whole country in favor of combinations of wealth. A commerce court, with compul sorv powers, would certainly prove advantageous to the public. A V. viu AN EDISON FAILURE.! Once He Designed an Invention That Didn't Work. Automatic Horae Feeder Waa Operat ed Jaat Once, with Reaalta That Dlacoaragiod the YVImurd aad Hia Factotum. "The world has seen a variety of achievements wrought by man, but no other has made such strides toward the perfection of industry and prog ress, toward~the advancement of the whole world, as the application of electricity." Thus spoke Lord Kelvin, and in jus tice he might have supplemented the same by stating that the Yankee wiz ard, Thomas A. Edison, has ever been the leader in the advance guard which has with such signal success explored that mystical electrical field. How ever, the public prints have long been surfeited with stories of Edison's bril liant coups and hore, for variety's sake, is given the record of a failure. When Edison first established his laboratory and electrical works over in New Jersey, lie had in his employ an Irishman named Harney Gilhooly. Barney was engineer and fireman—in short, he was general utility man around the entire Edison plant. He lived back of the meadows, some four miles from the factory, and it was his custom to drive daily back and forth. Now, like all the rest of mankind, Barney liked to sleep in the morning as long as possible, and he conjured his brain as to how to feed his horse in the morning without a personal visit to the barn. Finally he enlist ed the services of his illustrious em ployer, explaining that it would be a great convenience if by some button and wire arrangement the morning ra tion of oats could be doled out to the horse. In that way lie claimed that when he had prepared and eaten his own breakfast Dobbin also would be ready for the road. Mi*. Edison readily grasped the idea, says the New York Times, and that THOMAS A. EDISON. (Aj an Inventor of a Self-Feeder the WIs ard Was a Failure.) very day, accompanied by an assist ant, he repaired to Barney's place and installed an electrical appliance which he anticipated would fill the bill, it was so arranged that if the oats were placed in a receptacle at the top of chute, the pressing of a button at the house would put machinery in mo tion to do the rest. And so It came to pass that on the morning of the automatic oat feeder's debut Barney pushed the magical but ton, serene in the belief that the Wiz zard's mcehanism would fulfill its mis sion. But, alas! the best laid plans of elec triciens, as' well as those of other folk, "aft gang aglee." Dobbin had not been initiated into the mysteries of the new-fangled arrangement, and, in still watches of the morning, when he was dreaming of the millennium of automobilism and blue gra&s pastures, the infernal creaking of wires, followed by an avalanche of oats, convinced the good steed that the hour of fate had struck. In fact, he was so frightened he reared back with violence and crashed through the side of the barn and when inquiring Bafriey arrived on the scene Dobbin was complacently picking up apples under a tree in the garden. Since that memorable morning Mr. Edison's automatic feeder has never been operated, and Barney is still feeding bis horse in the old-fashioned way. Woaderfal Alpine Railway. A wonderful mountain railway ia being constructed at present in the Tyrol, and when completed next sum mer it will be the steepest line in the world. The railway, which will be two and a half kilometers ::i length, will join the village of Kal tern to the summit of the Col de Mendel at a height of 2,550 feet. This distance will be covered in ex actly 27 minutes, while by road it takes four hours to reach the top. The force is electricitj', and the cog (middle) rail system has been em ployed. The maximum grade is 64 in 100, surpassing that of the Stanser horn line, which formerly held the European record. The coaches will hold 50 persons and baggage, and special precautions have been^ taken to enable the tourist to view the wonderful scenery through which the line prases. M. Strubb, a Swiss engineer of Clarens, is carrying on this remarkable enterprise. Tremble la Handley Home. Tt cure his wife and daughter of snuff-dipping, James Hundley^ of Dan ville, Va., put red pepper in their snuff. In retaliation they put -the suuff and pepper mixture in Hundley's whisky, thus spi uling two gallon* of the exhil arating beverage. WAS BORN CHICAGO. fitwac Stewart, Repablican Cat.il* date tor Mayor, la Trve Sum '7 the Windy City. Graeme Stewart, republican nom inee for mayor, is a native of Chicago and is 49 years old. He was born August 30, 1853, at Franklin and Mon roe streets. He received his educa tion in the Skinner school, then at Aberdeen and Jackson streets the University of Chicago and Dyren furth's Hande Schule, which stood at Randolph stieet and Fifth avenue, then Wells street. His first employment was as er rand boy for G. \Y. Flanders «fc Co., for which firm he subsequently GRAEME STEWART. (Republican Candidate for Mayor of ths City of Chicago.) worked as shipping clerk. He was next employed by Stewart,-Aldrich & Co. as salesman. In 1880 lie entered the service of the W. M. Hoyt com pany, and by untiring and efficient work finally became a director and partner in the Arm. On the night Of the great fire in 1871 Mr. Stewart Was the last person to cross the Rush street bridge. Ife drove across the structure in a bug* gy, hauling the books of his employ ers which he had saved from the flames. In 1874 Mr. Stewart was one of the organizers of the First Illinois regi-. ment and captain of company A. In 1882 Mayor Harrison appointed him a member of the board of educntion nnd he served in that capacity six years. As a successor to T. N. Jamieson Mr. Stewart was elected a member of the national republican committee in 1900 and was associated with Mark Hanna, Henry C. l'ayne, Harry New and R. C. Kerens in the financial management of the campaign of that year. Two years ago Mr. Stewart was mentioned for the mayoral nomina tion, but did not sanction the use of his name in that connection. Mr. Stewart married Nellie Pull man in 1879. Two children add to the happiness of the Stewart home at 181 Lincoln Park boulevard. LIVELY OLD SQLDIER. 1 la a Doable Filddler aad Ready to Meet Any Man Over 50 la Daaclntf Conteat. John B. Riley, of York, Pa., veteran of the civil war, is amusing himself by devoting the declining years of his life to music. As a trick violinist he sur prises his friends. One of his feats is to play on the violin and violoncello simultaneously and to keep time on the cymbals, operated by the right foot. With! this and other tricks liiley JOHN RILEY AT WORK. (Old Veteran "Who Is No Slouch at Pal forming Trick Music.) astonishes his fellow veterans at the G. A. R.campfiresand the young people at the old-time country dances where he performs. His repertory includes all the old time favorites, such as "The Arkansaw Traveler," "Turkey in the Straw," "Old Dan Tucker," "Fisher's Hornpipe'" and "Pop, Goes the Weasel." In addition to his musical accomplishments Riley dances lively jigs with all the nimble grace of an Irishman, and, though 75, he challenges any man.in Pennsylvania over 50 to a jig-dancing contest. "And I'll do me own fiddlin', sure,'* says Riley, for he can fiddle and at the same time dance to his own music. Riley is a native of Lancaster county. He served in the First Pennsylvania re serves and in the Two Hundred and Third Pennsylvania volunteers and was twice dangerously wounded in battle. Show Vai Too Reallatie. An attempt to represent a burning hotise on the stage of the\heater at Maryborough, Victoria, ended in an unexpected sensation. The- scenery actually took fire, and before the flames could be subdued many of the audience had fainted, and others had rushed for the doors, with the result that several persons were injured. RULES WHITE HOUSE Col. Symans Chosen to Fill Impor tant Social Post Military Aid to Prealdeat Booimlt •ad Master of CereatoaJea—•'Was Appointed (o Weat Point Croat Michigan. The most picturesque office sf our entire military establishment, in times of peace, is that just conferred by the president upon Maj. Thomas W. Symons, corps of the engineers, United States army. The prosaic title, ""In charge of public buildings and grounds in the District of Columbia," which this officer will bear after May 1, is no in dex to the courtly social prestige that he wil lenjoy. He will serve as master of white house ceremonies and as mil itary aid to the president. Were our un ostentatious government a monarchy he would have the title of "lord cham berlain." Next to the president himself he will be the most conspicuous figure at the white house levees. Resplendent in full-dress uniform and. with a glisten ing dress sword at his side, his station* during all such brilliant events will be in the blue parlor immediately at the president's left. Here he will formally present to the chief executive the long lines of guests. He will officiate as stage manager, so to speak, in all of the official and social dramas enacted with in the presidential mansion. The mu sic, the decorations, the comfort of the guests—all will fall within his super vision. He will have all of the prac tical responsibilities of the proprietor of a big hotel and the manager of a play combined. As "military aid to the president" Maj. Symons will personally accom pany President Roosevelt 011 all of his journeys of an official nature. During the*review of troops or ot processions he will stand at the president's side ar rayed in full dress uniform. Hence his office will bring him into the most in timate personal contact with the chief executive'and will demand relations of a very confidential kind. Therefore, kg MAJ. THOMAS W. SYMONS. (President Roosevelt's Newly-Appointed Master of Ceremonies.) appointment to this office is left to the president personally, Maj. Symons will be the disbursing officer of the white house and to him will be intrusted the lump sum which congress annually appropriates for the repair and maintenance of the man sion. Every year this allowance dif fers according to (special demands. But Maj. Symons will handle larger sums than those put in the keeping of his predecessors, inasmuch as the recent rehabilitation of the mansion, which became necessary in order to give the presidential family ample sleeping room and the nation's guests the com mon comforts to which they are enti tled in any gentleman's house, in creases the cost of lighting and heat ing. Maj. Symons is 51 j*ears old. He was born in Keesville, N. Y., within a few miles of Lake Champlain, but was ap pointed to West Point from Michigan. He is a shining example of the good augury of school leadership, says the DeTroit Free Press. Ile'was a brilliant studenfcat West/Point, being graduated at the head of his class in 1874. Preci sion was his strong point from the start, and with such a temperament naturally followed mathematical gen ius. Leaving the military academy a lieutenant in the corps of engineers, he served at the'torpedo and engineer school at Willet's Point until 1876. There he was detailed for duty in the western surveys, becoming chief engi neer in the department of the Colum bia three years later. He explored the wilds of Washington, located military posts, built roads nrd placated angry savages. As did the man. he now comes to serve, he lived a strenuous life in the great west, and, like him, wrote a book on what he saw.' During President Cleveland's first administration he had charge of the water supply, sewerage, pavements, streets, roads, bridges, lighting nnd car lines of the national capital. Then he took charge of the river and harbor work in Oregon. Washington, Idaho and Montana. Eight years ago he took up the same important task about Buffalo, where he has since been stationed. During the past four years he has been lectur ing on engineering at Cornell. He made an exhaustive study of the prob lems of the proposed canal to connect the great lakes with New York harbor, and his report thereon won his ap pointment to the New York canal ad visory hoard. Washed Once Each Tear. Asked when he had last washed, small boy told the Crediton, England, magistrates that he had a bath last summer. The father was ordered to prison for his neglect. Ii%|i GLORIES JF MOMAUCHY. To Re Displayed Is Waahiaitsi ce Caald* •swaii'* Del*" sat# ta Coaarreaa. 1 "Prince Cupid," delegate-elect from: the Sandwich islands, proposes to treat, Washington society to a magnificent sample oL a game of royalty, a la Ha-' waii. Prince Cupid's real name is Jonsh Kunio'Kalanianaolaa, and but terji few people have sver been known to trifle with it. It is probable, therefore, that the gentleman from Hawaii will be known by the shorter and more euphoniue cognomen of Prince Cupid. In the first place he will travel to Washington in royal state, with do*- ll&sl JONAH KUNIO KALANIANAOLAA. (Hawaiian Delegate In Congress, Better Known as Prince Cupid.) ens of large trunks and solemn flun kies. His purpose is to have a regal court which will perpetuate some of the old-time glories of Hawaiian mon archy and thus call attention to one ofl the last of the royal line. The prince will have a private secre tary, of course. He will also have, it is said, a royal retinue of gentlemen and ladies in wating. He has already planned many recep tions nnd feasts in Hawaiian style. It is expected, therefore, that Prince Cu pid and his court will prove as great' an attraction to Washington society as were Minister Wu's receptions when he and his wife first came to the cap ital from China. It is understood that the Hawaiian legislature will appropriate $10,000 per year for the purpose of keeping up Prince Cupid's royal entourage. The social status of this dusky scion of royalty is already agitating Wash ton society, says the New York World. Will the matrons and maids who rule the roost, BO to speak, take this royal gam* seriously? "JARLES W. FULTON. Bleeted United States Seaator ti Oregoa After a Hot Flfht of Several Moatha. Charles W. Fulton won a remark able fight when he finally secured the Oregon senatorship. The contest was carried through the entire ses sion of the legislature and was won on the forty-fifth consecutive ballot, taken just before the hour of ad journment at midnight. Politically, Mr. Fulton has been true blue, never failing to support the party nom inees. Factional differences have at times split the party wide open, bat the Clatsop statesman, after the bat tle in convention, has always been found working in the interests of the HON. CHARLES W. FULTON. (Elected Senator from Washington, aft*r a Protracted Fight.) candidates. His faithfulness has endeared him to republicans all oyer the state, ana there is not an equal ly popular public man in Oreguir Charles YV. Fulton was born in Ohio August 17, 1853. Later ].e moved to Iowa with his parents, where he studied law and was ad mitted to the bar. He came to Ore gon in 1875, taught school for a time, later locating at Astoria, where he has since resided and enjoyed a lu crative law practice. He has been elected to the state senate four times, and was president of that body in 1893 and 1901. He has been a member of nearly every state con vention since 1880, and has been very active campaign orator os many occasions. The Kolae of Vhaadcr. When a period of five seconds elapses between a flash of lighting and thun der, the flash is a mile distant from the observer. Thunder has never been heard,over 14 miles from the flash, though artillery has been heard at 120 miles. Cider a Terrlhle Oath. Ten yo*ng men in Coudeiwport, P.i, have taken an oath to marry before January 1, 1904. Girl Raaa Grist Mill. !p| A 16-ye&r-oil girl runa a gtist affl' at Lititz, Fa ,v- 4 as ,-7