Newspaper Page Text
ttflB MARION DAILY MIRROR, SATURDAY, JUNE 8, 1007.
Lots Doing In the Neighborhood
of Givcadam Gulch.
WHITE WOLF HOTEL AFFAIR.
What Happened to the Saddle Drum-
mer From tho City of Brotherly Lovo
Who Kicked Because Thing Were
Not to Hla Liking.
ICopj right, J"U7, by XI M Cunningham.
Mnjor Henderson of I.0110 .lock an
nounces Hint lie will shoot us on flight.
Wc hopo he will pn ui tin lion owed
money he owes us Hist.
We hnve n comuiuulrntloti from the
THnek Hand of Now Melco demand
ing tlmt c put the sum of $1,000,000
tuiilcr a ceitnln stone within thiilj
days or mffcr ilonili.
Mint- host of the White Wolf hold
hns bron somewhat perluibed fur the
lQst (lo dnys. .v Philadelphia sad
dlery drummer who wns 11 guest of
the house kicked because Ills table
knife luippened to Inek n handle nnd
KtCKU) UMAUKE HIS TAltbi: KMl'K lltl'
rElEl) TO I.AIK A IIANDLIh
because tho shine had worn off his ten.'
spoon, and In the altercation resulting ?
lie wna shot thiougli tho shoulder.
Mine host, who Is a new ninn fiotn
Idaho, shouldn't worry nbout such
trifles. They nre Incidental to eory
busy commuulty. The old landlord
thought times were dull when bo
didn't pepper nt least two kickers per
Illll Hopo and .lock Downer of
Grass Valley fired ten or twcho shots
at each other on the street the other
day without effect nnd wero then ar
rested for disturbing tho peace. Thu
holy torror Is a thing of tho past, In
deed. We understand tlmt n protest ngalnst
lus as postmaster has gono to Wash
ington because of the horse laco the
pother day In which we lode our own
horse and camo out ahead. It will be
tin vain. The postmaster geneinl
knows a good thing when ho sees It,
mnl wc uio n good thing.
Mr. AVIIIIam I.co of (Jhleago was
klieru tho other dny looking for his son
Henry, from whom he hud not henid
for n year. We nlded the eoiouer to
look over his books, nnd It was ills
jjiovcied tlmt the mlsslug Henty was
tcposlng under n yew tiee oer on
Wolf creek. Ho got nil inlcd up on
liorses about six months ago.
1 Wc'bollcvo thnt If n thousand mar
riageable joung women were bronchi
"out here from the east each nnd
every one of them could Hud n bus
f band within .1 week We 11K0 believe
that 000 of thu thousand would wish
j&they hadn't befoio tho end of tho first
" Wo did Intend to He about our elf
Dilation this week, but ouo tiling and
"nuotlior has happened to call our 111I11 1
elsewhere. Watch out for next week
.Wo hno got a hair raiser of u state
ment coming. Kor tho moment It Is
enough to say that wo ara hitting the
billion mark again and that the em
piess of China Is writing us piiwite
letters nnd begging our mlvlto an to
Itpw to run her uld empire.
On Tuesday eenlug last nt the meet
lng of thu ciimmou ronm-ll Alilnimau
Klnnegnii druled our ruling that nu
'amendment to n motion iininr be oteii
on flint, and he started to diaw to up
hold his contention. Ho v.ns slow a
usual, nnd when he found thnt ue had
him coveted he snt down nnd snbsld
cd, 'J'ho nmyor who can't itin n cnuii
ell with Cushlng'a Manual and a gun
in 11 dead failure.
(Our esteemed contemporary, whom
WP listu not mentioned for the pant
jjvo months, eluloiH to liae shot nt in
Inst Friday night as wc were lefurn
ing from n party jmi Cochise place
I'erbnps he did. This 1 the Hint we
Jjave henrd of tho affair, but we don't
.want to wilt a single leaf In his laurel
Advertisements for tho Kicker In
ienilpd for our Now Zenlmul edition of
Lair n ni'IlkJU should bo handed In
early In tho week to nwsuie puhllcn
HdH, Copper 111I110 advertlhemonts
BlioUld foo written In such n way that
tbey cattunt lie npotted as swindles ut
JJje first glanco,
Od tho roitlQ to Grata Volley tho
wojv If itltl from twenty to thirty ferl
Ue?H Jil fpol, but It U hoped tlmt by
July It will hnve nettled down so that
a tall man on n tall horse enn makit
reasonably fair going of It. Tho past
winter attended sjrlctly to business for
a hundred miles around ('Iroadnm
tip'rli. Theic are Icicles still hanging
to tome men's whiskers.
As .llin Hellso, owner of the Hellso
Opera House, we wish to give the boys
iiolice thai next time they shoot out
the kerosene lamps the. peifonnanco
on the singe will be stopped nnd the
house closed for the night. We don't
Object to shooting at the lamps on
broad nnd general piluelples, but when
It Is fnr handler to shoot nt the actors
why not do It? We do not llko to seo
things run clernnlly In one groove.
A sub'crlber In Illinois who Is evl
deftly a minister of the gospel writes
us that he shall certainly stop his pa
per unless future numbers show n
moro meek nnd humble spirit on our
part. We do not want to lose him. but
just let him come out here nnd prac
tice the meek nnd humble business for
n mouth! The boys me waiting for
Just such n person to come along. They
wnnt to make fnns of his eurs. Wc
stnrted In to be very meek nnd lowly,
but soon dlscoveied thnt wo must ei
ther chaugn or become a lend mine.
CoIoiipI Grainont of the Circle ranch
slopped his paper last week and sent
us an Insulting message becaurc wo
refused to publish his ode to Colum
bus. As soon ns wo get time we shall
lido out to the ranch, nnd we will bet
two to one that wo make the colouel
crawfish from his position. Columbus
Is nil light In history, but we'll bo
hanged If he's going to get nny frco
advertising out of us nt this Into dny.
We nro delivering our lecture on
how to become a great editor wherever
we have n call. It consists mostly of
our personal experiences, and tho hu
mor nod pathos appeal to nil. Our
terms are $2." nnd expenses, ami wc
gunrnntee to satisfy un auilleuce that
any man with n fur overcoat and 520
In ensh can In tlmo becomo great
metropolitan editor and claim three or
four million circulation for his dully
We sing no songs nnd execute no
dances ns an accompaniment. Straight
talk and cash down.
If tho Individual who keeps sending
us postal cards from Santa Fe to the
effect that ho Is on our trail and bound
to wipe us out will como along and
ha the circus over with, wc will
guarantee to pay his cxpcuHos. Wc
liato to shiver for thrco or four months
In anticipation. Any ouo will point
out tho Kicker office to him on his ar
rival. On entering turn to the right
As soon ns cutorlug the Bauctum begin
to shoot at tho man at tho desk,
Littls In Comparison.
"It's n fact." said Towne, "that my
wlfo Is ahlo to dress on comparatively
"What!" exclaimed Mnrryat. "Oh,
como now, what do you mean by 'com
paratively littler "
"I mean on llttlo compaicd with
what she thinks she ought to have."
Catholic Standard and Times,
Not a Ready Reckoner,
Toss Hello Is n queer gill. Von
know she took first prlzo for mathe
matics at Vnssar.
Toss Well, when her mother usked
Helle how often Mr. Huggard had
kissed her the othpr night she said she
couldn't tell. Philadelphia Press.
The Beauty of an Heireis.
"You ore vuiy pretly." he said to th
She was n wise girl and realized her
"I fancy," sho leplled, "that my pret
tlness was Inherited alon with my
grandfather's money." Cloveland Plain
A Kick Coming.
.lnck Arf you treated well when you
call nt Miss Itoxlelgh's homo'
Tom Ye", except when her fnthpr Is
around; then I have a kick coming.
Des Moines Heglsler.
The Stage Lions In Their Den?
The Heauteous Damsel in Dlsltes?
Tho lions how they roar!
Tho Htngo Manager (behind the
scenes) Now, then, boys gooiJ,
Iteallhy tuar! All together, pleaso.
Tm happy now as one can be-
At leant, upon this earth
Because I hattrl't time to think
How llttlo I am worth.
It's really gratifying to
I'orget how poor ou Are
While rlilltitf in an auto cr,
I meRn a mortgaged car.
It used to (roiibl mo to meet
M oredltore, for thry
Have such a faculty at thnei
Of Retting In the way.
But now I smeftly am them In
My tdurlng-er, i mean
A inortKdgad nlitnfTiobllo run
' Willi PorMiwml ni(iihii!
1 Jinl I
Efs .. ? tt
I LADY ISABEL'S 1
K By MRS. NLISH. O
(Copyright, by Joneph B. Jlowles )
I.ady Isabel leaned back with n dos
"You soo," she explained to me
"Vernon's Aunt Mnrlnn has Just writ
Ion to say bIio Is coming to us for two
whole months. Two months," groaned
Lady Isabel, "and ono Of thorn will
bo In tho height of the season."
"It will pleaso your hiiBband to have
hnr," I said tcntntUely.
"Will 117" echoed Lady Isabel. "You
should hnve henrd what ho snld when
I showed him the letter."
"Why do you hae hor then, It
neither of you want her?"
"Veinon says wo must, because she
Is awfully rich, and has no ono clso
to lcovo hor money to; and, of course,
I linxa my poor darling daughter Bab's
future to couflldor," said Lady Isabel
"Poor you," I said with sympathy.
She smllod. "It'll he poor Vernon
she won't seo much of me. Marjorlo;
I, for I nm too 111, really, to como down
I stated. "Aro you 111?"
Lady Isabel leant back In her chair
and sighed faintly. "No, but I urn go
ing to bo that, Is how I mean to get
her away befotc the season If I can."
"Hut you can't be til if jou aren't
111." I snld argumcnlatlvoly.
"Can't I?" said Lady Isabel, "you
wait and seo"
1 felt rather sorry for Lord Etch
inglon, whom I mot on tho stairs.
"(iolng, Miss Anstrnther," ho said;
'has Isabel told you my Aunt Marian
Is coming to us for two months?"
lie laughed, then olghed dejectedly.
A Most Fearsome Looking Old Lady.
'Sho's a holy terror won't jou tonio
around and holp poor little Isabel to
ontertnln hcr7 It's rather a bore any
ono coming to her foi so long, and sho
Is bringing not only a maid, bs' two
pugs and n pnrint, and poo Isabel
cannot bear pugs or a nolso--
I'oor Loid Wellington, his only
thought was for his wKo's comfort;
and I nondeicd as I wont away, aftor
promising to como and tako tho old
ladj off their handi soniotlmos, why
this sort of woman nlways gets ono
of the few unselfish mon there aro In
Three days later I went round to call.
Lady Isabel's husband was having tea
with the aunt, a most fearsome look
ing old lady, not unlike the parrot
whose cage was at hor side. Ho roso
In moot mo with tho inmost relief.
"I am so glad you have conic, Miss
Anstruthor," He said anxiously; "Isa
bel does not seem at all well."
"Not woll?" I echoed faintly.
'No, sho sas sho Is very poorly.
I havo sent for Dr. Parkcs; but I wish
you would "go up and sec her."
"Of course I will," I said, "now at
onco " Ad I turned to leavo the room
a metallic volco said:
My dear Veinon, you spoil that
young woman; sho was porfe,ctly woll
last night ut dinner I havo no pa
tience with those modern fls of 111
noss Now In my day young womon
Nasty old cat." added the parrot,
who must, l think, have been down in
tho kltchon, ,,
I found Isabel lying on tho sofn In a
mauvo chiffon snut-do-llt, and EIlso
hovering over her with much onxloty.
"Aro you going to aBk Dr Parkea
to orur yon HWay, Isabel?" I asked,
Anticipating a llttlo.
She shook her hoad. "No, dear, It
wouldn't bo any good: you see! she
would be suro to offer to como as woll,
Sho Hub already upsot tho vAole
houbo; Mlnto nnd hor pugs had a fear
ful fight last night, and tho head
housemaid camo to mo In tears this
morning and said sho 'couldn't put
up wun Duing tooK to task," and Mrn.
Green says she can't have 'that maid'
lu and opt of her kitchen all day for
two months, and sho would rather no
now, it ua an me sumo to mo "
Poor Lady Isabell After seeing
tho aunt I began to feel really sorry.
"Cannot you tell her you are unable
td put hor up for more Ihan a month?"
l(iW" M - r"-
Lady Isabel shook hor head. "It
wouldn't have tho allghest effect,"
sho said despondently. "You don't
know her. She will probably stay
on and on until July. Faith may re
move mountains," sho ndded viciously,
"but I'm certain nothing will mpvo
"Shall I como in to-morrow and tako
her out In the automobllo?"
Lady Isabel hosllated. "No, she
wouldn't ttot upsot; thoso sort of peo
ple never do. Any way, ijon't como to
morrow, Marjorlo. Como one day next
weok Monday will that suit? Yos,
all right. Good-bye then, dear, nnd
thank you so much; and bo suro you
come again on Monday afternoon."
Tho following Monday 1 therefore
went round oarly nftor luncheon to
soo Lady Isabel and holp her entertain
her aunt, but I found the houso In a
state of gieat commotion, and the hall
full of boxes and parcels and pugs and
"Aro you going away, Lady St. Al
mond?" I asked tho old lady, as she
came out of the morning-room, giving
idud directions to hor maid nbout hor
luggage and her pets.
"Yos, yes, 1 am going at once," sho
replied hurriedly. "Such a dreadful
thing has happened, Miss Anstruther."
She drew mo Into tho morning-room.
"Don't ho alarmed," sho said tragic
ally, looking exceedingly frightened
herself; "don't be alarmed, my dear.
Here, put come of this on your hand
kerchief." 8ho poured something ex
ceedingly pungent on to my handker
chief as she- spoke with so shaking
a hand that most of it unfortunately
fell on my new whlto blouse. "Thoro
In no danger, I assuro you; none
"What Is It?" I asked; "whatever Is
"Poor Isuboll I nm sorry I mis
Judged her. I really thought her Ill
ness was fancy; but they say It Is
moasles Gorman measles tho most
virulent nnd contagious kind. I only
hope it's nothing worse. Doctors ofton
mako mistakes. 1 nm not at all ner
vous fur myself," said the old lady,
who was obviously In a state of tho
most violent alarm; "but my maid Is
quite a young girl, and theso infec
tious things are so trying, I thought
I had bottor return home at once. My
nephew Is unfortunately awny," sho
-ontlnued. "He was obliged to go out
if town yesterday morning so very
unfortunate for him. I wnntcd to
wlro, but Isabel would not hear of it."
"I will go up and seo her at once,"
I said, turning to leave the room.
"Oh! my dear," the old lady
looked horrified "pray do not run ho
needless a risk; It would really bo
most unwise of you; I must protest."
"Dut 1 am not at nil nervous," I ro
Sho held out her hand. "Very woll,
then, if you renlly will; but It is not
wise of you not at all wise. How
ever, you know best I will Bay good
bye, though, as I daresay you will not
bo down before I go."
"Oh, I can easily como down and
seo you off."
"No, no," said tho old lady sharply,
"I must really beg of yon not to do so
there Is my oung maid, you seo.
for her sake I must not run nny need
less rUks. Is your cab there
Sho was ovidontly In a fovor to de
part, but luckily was not kept much
longer In suspense, for, as I turned up
tho corridor towards Lady Isabel's
bedroom, I heard tho first of the
boxes bumped hoavlly against tho top
of the cab and the brougham drive up
to take the Aunt.
Ellso camo to tho door to meot me.
"How Is Lady Isabel?" I asked. "I
am sorry to hear sho is so ill, Ellso,"
Ellse's conduct was certainly re
markable, If not actually heartless.
Sho passed mo, and leaning over the
stairs, looked eagerly down Into tho
hall below. Itoturnlng a moment
later, sho ushered mo with many
apologies Into Lady Isabel's bed
room. Tho bUnds were drawn nnd the fur
niture was carefully covered with
dust sheets, but boyond a faint odor
of some delicate porfumo thero was
no sign of Lady Isabel.
"Why, Ellso?" I tinned to the girl
In utter amazement "where on earth
"Italr ladeeshlp Is away to tho sea
side, to Eastbourne," said Ellse, her
eyes demurely fixed on the tip of hor
shoe. "Hair laldecshlp, sho think It
the queeckest way to " Ellso hesi
tated "to "
"Yes, I understand," I Interposed
"And bo she go away yestalrday in
the morneong, but I telegraph her
now, this moment, mademoiselle, and
sho return In tho morneong homo
again, Will madamolselle come back
tomorrow afternoon?" she added anx
"Yos, I will come,;' I replied,
As I went slowly down tho Bteps
nrtij liflo oie sunny street' ng'afn nT'car-'
tlago, weighted hoavlly with two
months' luggage, turned clumsily
round the corner, and I caught a last
glimpse of tho solomn faco of a black
nosed pug looking thoughtfully out
of the window Into the street.
Perfurne for Paris Bores,
Pirls. The experiment of perfum
ing the Paris subways has been mado
with great success. At certain houra
bf tho day a car fitted with a special
Bcent-dlstrlbutlng apparatus la run
over tho linos and for a period aftor
Its passage tho stations are nilod with
the odors of Araby, the blest.
China Buys 2,000,000 Rifles,
riorlln.'-The. Chlneso government hai
ordered 2.O0O.OQO rifles Jhrough aer
nan firm in flhangiinl, Wth the object
of urnilng tbr- tiflomi throughout tils
emplro VHU tho same type otweanon,
i'A MUSICAL EVENT;
Ol' Dill's a solemn kind o' man! he J?s'
looks straight ahead,
An' has a serious way o' takln' everything
You won't rtnd no on quieter, no matter
whah -ou search.
He owns a house an' lot an' Is n member
ot de church.
Dor's only ono thing tempts htm now an'
' then to step aside
F'um nil his ordlnnry ways of dignity an'
An' den de fam'ly gathers 'rolin'i (ley
, hears It mighty soon
wen ol' Bill talccs do banjo down an'
stahts a llttlo tuna.
At fus' he striken a lively ono he sorter
shets his eyes.
Like he was lookln' far away acront dn
An' sceln' 'way back yonder when he
danced across do flo'
Wlf folks dnt was young folks wlf him
dat mus be long ngot
It soun's Jes' like do robin an' do cricket
an' de ben
AJolnln' In together In a contest foh to
Which one of m kin make de lotides
muslo In do Ian',
An' ol' Bill, he W nils an' pla, de lend
er of de ban'.
An' den bn hums a little song; ho hums It
nor an' low;
De banjo seems to answer back. It some
how 'pears to know
He's thlnktn' 'bout do nlarltght an' de
Dat used to tell Its troubles f'um de woods
upon dn hill.
An' den ho smiles llko some one was a-
callln', far awny
Dar ain't nobody 'round here dat kin
mako him sndlo dat way.
It's llko de honeysuckles slghln' sweetness
to de moon
When ol Bill takes de banjo down an'
stahts n little tune.
Ha Took It Literally.
Billings ordered some wall paper.
Tho storo sent n, consignment ot
paper, together with a paperhanger, to
Billings looked nt the paper nnd
found It was not the pattern he had
IIo told the papeihangcr In n rigor
ous minnor Hint lie disapproved of the
paper nnd then started for the storo
to hnve his order filled ns gUnn.
When ha nrrlved home ho fouuil the
wrong pnper on the wall
"Why did you hnug this pnper?" ho
asked the pnperhnuger.
"Becouso you told me to," was the
"Nothing of the sort!" cried Billings.
"I remember your oxncl words, sir,"
snld tho paperhanger.
"What wero they'"
"You said, 'That Isn't the paper I
ordered, hnng It nil!'"
"Jtlnip down, Kollettc! Tho beuch Is
breaking down!" Journal Aiuusant.
Tho man who hnd been undergoing
the tortures of n lightning shnvo on 11
Saturday night stepped from tho chair
mid fished out a dime.
"But don't you think you ought to
give me an extrn nick?" hastened tho
"I suppose ho, huh," replied the pa
tron as he rubbed his sliced chin. "I
notice you gave mo several nicks.'
"Why," asked her mother, "do you
think Mr. Snlggesley has had expel i
eiico In lovcmaklng?"
"I noticed that ho took pains when
ever he tried to kiss me to nrrniigu'lt
so that wo could not bo, seen by nny
one who might bo peeping through tho
Ueyljole." Chicago Jtecord-IIcrnld.
"Do you bellifVo In art for iirt's
sake?" asked tho transceudenlnllst.
"No," nnsweicd tho materialist; "tho
mention of art for art's snko usually
means a request to work hard without
getting paid for It." Washington Star.
A Different Thing.
"Did I undetstnud you to say thnt
all rum sellug Jias been slopped in
"Not at all. I morely said It wns
strictly problblled."-CathoiIc Sfuiidmd
Kphra'm Brown an' me nro nolphliors-
been o more than forty yean
But of late he'o got to nclln' nn' a-taikln
. mighty queer,
For whene'er I chance tew meet Mm,
Josh'y Jones," he aes, aez he,
"Tell me, tf jew kin. what wui I, nn'
what be I coin' tow be7"
When ho rz tew me. "What wuz I?" In
that holler sort o' way,
I don't make no hones o leavln' with a
kind o short "Clood day "
When ho sez. "What will I be, Joh?"
with that daft look In his ee.
I Jest bolt out mighty sudden without
He'a a.glttln' Wuss an wusser, with that
wild look In his face;
An' he evei auks them questions to the
critters on the place.
"Wui I onco a, Cochin China or a baric
In' dog7" aez he.
"If I wuwent me, who wuz I, an' who
be I goln tow be?"
I can't make no speculation when he puts
the thing tbot way.
But I'm wlihln' he w6uld ask me, "Joh.
what be I right tnwday?" '
I could answer Mm so sudden that I
low 'twiiuld make htm atck- t
I'd say, "Knh, In my npennn, yew'ri
- a rnt tu' hohyttok,"
.. . . -ttiMna Vf.' 1iIJb, 0
By Byron Williams.
II T 1 t- "
"Whero Hie you going, Oh, llttlo utic.un,
Babbling along with your endless ttoiig?
What Ih jour mission? What hnrbijr
Stay, Oh, jo pi littler, your Jouiuoy
Hinder inn not. Oh, jou boulder gniy
Mosafd with flm ago of u ntulld nplicro,
iJod in.ulc thin Bong for my rills to lug;
Ho knows tho way and 1 Imvu no fear!"
DID YER EVER CO A-
Liwwniiu'iin y iiw urvji.vriyjuin'rivniM
:m frWIMIN VflRUDGE Af!6HIN'AHP ftViUSHlK
uu htidhin nw Hrvrionin -y
A TER-RI-BLE WAYS? r
AMO YER TAKE YER HSHIff TACKLf
HK YER WRniH.5QIMRMINCflH,
Th'J0Y-FUL-E5T MAN! 1)
mmm .-kv ..
THE MARSH tj ft
Cnltlia palustrus the maHgoId
Flamcth pllre as Itn leaves unfold,
Yellow nnd bright! Llko n sunset glow,
Carpets tho marsh where tho zephyrs
Cullha palustrus the marigold,
fillrrcth within mo wcot nloin'rles -oldl
Thoughts of a muldon, wlth"trUo blue
eyes,. ' - '
Plucking them thero 'nuuth ''tho hncyon
rallha palustrus tho marigold.
Speaks of a day when one's hops was
Tells of a tlmo wlten tho heart was light,
Thiohblng lu l'ulth, with' no thoughts of
Gnltba palustrus tho marigold ,
Fnlnt (rum thy petals of fairy mold, w),
Wafts o'er tho chuam of years that (Ice,
lucenso of outh, and Itn grade, to me,
Tolling along, with your load apack,
This Is tho iiimucr, my friend, fpr youl
Uoil uutdo tho path for your feet to tread.
Jlo knows Iho wuy and will see you
WITH A DIG BITE HUNCH?
(JlD YER EVER GO A-FI5HIN-
gH WHAT MADDER.6APPER WTE
. tn,gRM ,.. J
iljjjdA 4f 1
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