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THE MARON DAILY MIRROBflATURDAV, AUGUST 10, 1S07
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"The MOTHER IDEA"
NOT WORKED OUT
JUST a fnlnt econt of whlto rate,
Bbrayed in ploy, clung to Noph
w Joo'b cravanetto as he two
pogged It on tho hall tree, prior
toprtBBlng Into thu library, whoro
Undo Joo tho Story Toller sat read
"If thoie 1b anything gives mo n
pain It la a homo and mother song,"
began Young Joo.
Undo Joo laid down his cherished
volumo -with, "Well?"
"Well," wont on Younr; Joo; "ev
ery tlmo you tnko your best girl to
vaudeville you have to liston to a
lot of rot about homo and mother
nnd tho worklngman's rights. .That
mother Idea is about worked out. I
3Vlsli they would givo It a rest."
"So tho mother Idea Is worked
put, eh!" ejaculated Undo Joe.
"Well, let mo toll you, young man,
iho mother idea Is not worked out;
nil it never will bo. If you think
Co, you'ro fooled;
Tho Scalawag's Son.
"When ono llttlo boy nwoko one
morning to find his mother dead, he
at tho samo tlmo found his father
"In courso of tho morning neigh
bors called to inquire concerning
the mother's condition. They
foUnd tho same no Johnny found.
"Johnny wont to llvo with his
aunt then. She didn't want him.
Bho only took him in for tho looks
of thlugB, bo peoplo couldn't say
she was heartless. And iho would'
n't let him go to school nny more.
She raado him work. And sho mado
him work so hard that one day John
ny ran awny. Away off to tho big
"When tho boy reached tho city
he had only a few dimes, and they
,vere Boon gono for food.
"Johnny was hungry. He saw an
apple on the sidewalk, and picked
It up. Tho grocer caught him and
held him till tho pollcomnn came.
Tho policeman took him nlong, and
Johnny was locked up.
"Tho Judge Bald Johnny waB a
brtd boy, and that he would havo to
go to tho Reform School. And John
"lie stayed there several years,
loiig enough to becomo a young man
called 'Jack.' And then ho was turn
"The only good thing Jack tools
away from tho Reform School, "as a
desire for further knowledge. He
"1 don't know that wo would all
havo been massHcred If Shorty huilu't
blowu Into T on tho through
freight that day," said Col. I) ,
growing reminiscent, "but It's rubblts
to coyotos Unit soiuu of 1111 would havo
lost our pretty curls,
"The redskins had been restless for
somo time. It was bcfuio tho ilujs
that tho govornment mado college
football ptuyora out "f them, and thoy
still resented whltt. men Intruding on
their gsmo presorvos and dnsocrathig
their happy hunting grounds.
"I was United States marshal then.
I had a handful of deputies, as game
a crowd us over pulled n II or swimc
a Winchester, but thoy wouldn't havo
lasted as long as Ice cream at tho
equator If those pesky ' dovlla had
started on thu warpath.
"Tho Indian agent was plainly wor
ried, and I was not sleeping good my
eelf, A fellow novor does rest well
with his rifle under his nepk. Tho
cavalry should havo been Sent over ns
intlmldators a week boforo, but those
fellows at Washington ulways did
think that thoy know more than tho
men on tho firing line.
"Tuo, wo had an operator nt T ,
ono of thoso combtnatulun kind, who
punches tickets, handles trunks nnd
potatoes anu receives tram orucrs ror
tho oxtra engine which D3ed to double
head Winding Stage mountains,
lie was good enough for tho Isolated
Btatlon In ordinary times, but ho went
to pieces whenever tho Indian agent
Wpuld throw thoso long-wlndod cipher
moasuEos for tho Interior department
at hint, the gist qf which wus a prayer
that tho secretary of tho Interior
would ask tho uttorney general to
iplead with tho secretary of war, with
the president's permission, to pormlt
tho buglor at the post, 200 miles away,
to sound boots nnd saddles.
"Wo Bent u man up tho railroad to
tho chief dispatcher of the division
asking htm to send us an operator
who coilld send dots and dashes In
bunches without hurting his finger
nails, Wo wero politely but llrmly in
formed that tho rallioad needed nll'tho
men It had In that forsaken country,
and that wo would havo tq do the best
wo could with tho amateur at T .
"'I'll telegrapli dawn tho lino und
see If I cau get you d man, hut I
ain't making auy promises,' was tho
host consolation wo could get Horn tho
"Thlugs wore desperato, I say, when
horty came, ,He. wasn't pleasant to.
jvf. " ,l IHB ' - 1
had had tho bonellt of instruction,
at least, aud had earned several
dollars, for tho. state.
"When he again reached tho big
city, It was ti.o sain' thing over
Took upo'if",nTirrsI 7iWolnt TTuive
seen somo cleaner tramps, but ho
didn't object to wnter, nnd ho scraped
off his hlrmito appcndugeB ot two
weeks' standing when wo loaned him
a razor. Aftot1 ho had filled his ach
ing voids With a gobdly Riipply of ra
tions mid given him a now blue tluu
ne! shirt, ho didn't look hulf bud.
"I hoar you gazabos aio In grave
danger of bulng sopurnted from scalps
If a gentleman of Intimate acquaint
ance with Miss Morso didn't pome to
your rescue, was his salutatory, when
ho swung clear ,6f tho caboose, cm
which ho hud boon a deadhead pas
senger. "'I used to hold down tho A. P.
.loosed wire- nt Chi', ho said, 'and I
guess I can shoot all tho llghtnln' you
fellows can send.' Wo didn't know
whether A. P. stood for upplo pie or
ask pnpn, and we didn't caro when
wo saw that, 'bo' raress tho telegraph
"Ho could havo had tho only blled
shirt In enmp If ho'd been so Impo
lite, ns to n'SU for It. so much attached
did the boys becomo to him. Ho kept
tho wires to Washington bo Jiot Hint
within 48 hours a special arrived with
tho troops and tho Imlluns promised
to be good.
"Wo tried to keep Shorty with us,
but when tho government sent him
?10 per day for tho two weeks lip
spent nt T , ho climbed onto tho
first passenger train going north. Ho
didn't object to tho company, ho said,
bttt wanted to get back to tho whlto
lli.'litR of Hrnudwuv. I hone ho got
j.tlterp, becauso ho- certainly saved thir
Concrete Work In Mines.
Tho poweBt Innovation that has
taken pluco In tho method of working
n coul mine Is tho substitution of con
crete for tho initio timbering. Tho ex
poiliuents nlong this line uro being
mado by tho Rending Coal' company
at Shumokln, Pa. A plunt for the
niaiiufuQturo of those coinont props
will bo oiected nt tho North Franklin
colliery, Trovorton, fiom which pluco
tho now stylo of "timbering" will bn
sent to all tho other colllorles. Tho
Heading company has spept consider
able tlmo and money In determining
tho best method for preserving lhlno
timbers, nnd the present step seems
to Indicate that In the future camout
will replace woodop pi ops.
Disraeli ao a Real Humorist.
DlHraoll'n absorption In ' politics,
whlcir,,nOvor quite destroyed! his loyo
of literature, is of eoiimn familiar to
thd most,supeillcIul studont or his sin
gular cnieef. His "profound conlonipi
tor frivolity," roforrod to by Lady Do
lothy NovJll In hor "nomlnlsconces,''
Jjjst published,, , strikes . thosp who
again. Hungry.- Arrested. And
this tlmo to tho workhouse, whoro
ho was put to work In tho quarry.
"Ono day In tho quarry Jnok got
to thinking of when his mother was
Dlsrui'll, It mum bo remembored,
was u real humorist, am In nine cases
out of oveiy ton a real humorist do
splses lllppaim. Ho was nlso like
many humorists, a melancholy man,
Isolated Irom hla fellows, lending nn
Inner lifts, of which glimpses may bo
30011 la his biography of Lord Georgo
Rnffloa Proved to Bo No Match
"I fceo," said tho Hurlosquo Queen,
"that they huvo caught another gen
"Gontloniuu burglars," replied tho
ward man, "as a rule do not oxlst, for
this leasoii; a gontloniuu would not
bo u thief, and a man possessed, of tho
qualities that go to mnko a successful
cracksmun couldn't bo a gontleniun;
but since Hollow played Halllos, ovory
tlmo thoy land a fellow who wears a
clean collar und cleans his teeth and
nulla thoy announce Anothor Society
Burglar. Tho last real gentleman
crack I know of was tho ono that
Georglo -Lindsay got somo yours ago,
"When Georglo Wiih plujlng in tho
Casino slio cioated qulto n sensation
with her Huniiiig red head, enormous
eyes, llttlo bunds und feet and tho
king's ransom of Jcwols which sho
habltuully woro, plastered nil over lion
so that sho looked like -li Jowelor'a
showcase. Hyorybody know her and
knew hor sparks, nnd It was n sure
bet that sooner or later Bho would bo
"Sho lived In a llttlo bijou house In
Bonsoiihurht. Ono summer night sho
woke up und hoard somu on scullllng
around the room. Sho upoko and tho
Intrudor cumo up to hor bed, and,
turning his luiitom (tho thief's elec
tric light wasn't Invented then) on
hor, told hor to shut up or .he'd blow
hor roof off. aoorglo-Poiglo' was as
cool as tho Tco Trust. 'I won't niovo,'
says she. 'Oo uhead and got whnt
you want.' Tlio follow looked at hoc
protty Bharply, mado a throntonjug
gestiuu with his gun, and went to
work looking for tho sparks, whllo
Georglo lay In bod, tho coyors drawn
up to her noso, and watdioii him with
big eyes, like a naughty child who
has Just been punished and put to
"He, couldn't Jlnd them, and ho
camo back to hor bedsldo, 'Horo,'
said ho, 'you get up und glvo me those
diamonds, and don't you make any
noise, or '
"So Qeorste .gtenned nut of hod in
4 M jA..".t
alive, and a Var 'stole down Ills
cheak.. . .fc "
" Whulcha.- 3w-ln'TO
a fir1".1l'1 ;.. inrline.
t ,1m not c.ylnj-,' said Jack. 'I've
her pujamas and crossed tho room
barofoot, aud dug up Tlig$3 parks from
under n lot of skirts and, frippery, and
handed thorn over. Now, a good
cracksman, having the"atuff, would
have beat it; but Georgio-Porglo had
sized him for an amateur,' and so 'May
I light a clgarotte, Mr Burglar'' says
she, with an adorable;, lisp. 'Thank
you. Havo ono ycuirself?' And tho
dub took ono, and shobegan to talk
to him. You know Geoiglo could be
a brother to a pnncQ'Or follow to a
beggar, and thoy hadquite a conver
sation. Sho asked him 4why ho was
In that business. If lfo wasn't nfrald,
and nil about It, undshc got quite In
terested la hor and bogan to tell her
tho story of his lire umftry to Justify
his modo of llfo to hor) urtd Georgio
Porglo sat on ono foot and llstenod
and thoy got qulto chummy,
"'Let mo mix ou jTcocktall,' says
sho, and sho led the way" Into her dining-room
and mixed onp ror him nnd
ono for horsolf. Ho had" enough senso
to keep nn oyo 011 her and not lot her
from In front of him, und sho, with
her baby face and lisp,' kept her eyes
ojion to catch him offside. At last
somo lingering remains of 'sense whis
pered to htm It was tlmo jo go.
"You must go" said; she. 'I really
can't say I am pleased to huvo mot
you, but It Iiub been a. most Interest
ing experience' j 7 .
" 'Good evening,' saya tho gontlemnn
burglar, n la Halllos, 'I am sorry that
I should appear In fliichfiullght, and I
can say I urn charmoMfo'.'havo mot
"Ho was at tho doorfiun, and for
ono mlnuto ho tinned lilsjjmck to hor.
"So uieo of you to ,sny. bo,' lisped
Georgio-Porglo, and q'ulk.as a flush
Bho suatched a Moorish 'dagger from
a panoply on tho walljmnd drovo It
hard between his slioiihlors, simul
taneously sho gavo hlnK$vlQent Jolt
In tho back with her knejhleh drovo
him through tho door'Wdfilanimed
tho door nnd lockod It. He gavo. a
honld hiccough ami tdio iieurd him
thrashing louiid llko a, hon with Its
bond off, then bunip-biinip-buiiip, ho
foil down tho studs amldgorgto threw
open tho window and ycjfled, 'Flro!
Murder!' and so on. '
"In a fow minutes. ohe heard tho
clumplty-elump of a cops boot's aa ho
camo running, The unfortunate Ruf
fles was lying at tho fodt'Jof tho stairs,
Georglo's sorvants wereuifrald to go
down, bo Georglo went horsolf and let
tho pollcomnn In, Poor tallies luy
groaning with tho knife kicking In bin
baqk, uud In a broken Mlbo begged
thom to pull It out. 'Pm dying,' ho
" 'Not a bit of It,' said Go.orglo cheer
fully, as sho extracted thp;knlfo and
did Bomo first aid work with wet tow
els -faun live to ao ten;yeara.'
fot a bad cold. That's all.' But liofhe had almost hegua to look at
C crying, Juet tho sam6. Only ho things tho way they seemed to, ud
flfrfn't wont tn clnilf ff Tlnnnitan I (n Iia1Iaha 41. n .1... ...M.i.i ... AAn
Jho Had hien compelloa to aesoclatol
with hardened boys and met until
--iiu i'iu uiu 1 'to doi-toiB pulled
blm round und ho got ten for that job.
Ho didn't injnd tho stretch so much,
as the way she fooled him.
' 'Thui llttlo devil,' sus ho to mo. '1
though! thoio wus no mure hnrm in
her than In a kitten '
' Lota or people thought that about
aeorgie-Porgle," tald tho Burlesque
Saw the Dalle:.
Undo Geoigo So jou wunt to tho
theater this afternuou, uud saw tho
grand spectuculur drama? How did
you llko it?
Small Nephew (who spent hist sum
nier ut a fashionable gourde loaort)
Oh, U was awful nice! Bight In tho
middle of It a whole lot of stylish
rouiig Indies camo out und danced In
tiathlng diesses N. Y Weekly.
"I boo tho reform wave la sweeping
over tho southwest, und It begins to
look like tho only bank thoy will lot
operate now Is tho kind where tho
cashier lays awake nights scheming
how to grab off moro than tho direc
tors," grumbled Col. B.
"It's dlfforont from tho good old'
days when tho furo bunks wore ns
thick as tiles around molasses. Guuss
tho country Is prosperous, but money
don't seem to cliculato as freely as
whon the lndlnns weio paid blnnnually
und the Joints wero running wldo open.
"Speaking of gambling und banks,
reminds me of tho tlmo Ed Martin
broke 'Sheeny Joo' nt tho Fort, wheio
they ovon stop the street cars on Sun
day now. It was tho blggost gnmo
over pulled off there, und whllo It last
ed It mado tho stukes at Hot Springs
look llko a four-card Hush.
"Ed was on tho ground first. Ho had
thrpo places which wero adorned by
greon shades, und tho table covors
wero ot tho sumo color. Guess it wus
kid o' hoggish of him to want a mo
nopoly of all tho cow punchers' dough,
but It's human nnturo to own u trust.
"Did you over buck a bank game
with a foolish determination to break
It? No, well, guess you got money
thou, That's what Ed did, and ho got
away with It, Ho' didn't Invito Jpo to
como Into his parlor to bo bit; he wont
to Joo's mtnlnturo Monte Carlo.
"Joo was dealing tho gnmo whon Ed
walked In. Ed sat down opposite him.
Words woro superfluous, Thoy under
stood each other Just as well as if Ed
had said: 'Joo, this Is to bo a finish.
Either. I9u.pt I.ust leave this burg,
'WHEN EO BME
and cruel nnd that a man had a
right to get a living in any way he
Thero uiirt room enough toi 'uiiili.
'Tho fow pikers at tho tablo sldo-
stopped when Ed carelessly took tho
band off his bank roll und displayed
layers of yellow backs to a dozen bun
gry eyos. Joo looked kind o' nervous,
but he shuttled tho cards with his nc
customed skill and slapped them In
tho llttlo silver box, ready for the now
"That's the way It bvgan. It ended
many hours later, but I'm going too
fust. It was n square game The oyos
of tho two rival gamblers mot on the
first wngor. Joe understood tho flash
from Ed's keen orbits. 'Deal 'em on
tho level or It's a pine box for you,' ho
might havo said, but it wasn't neces
sary. "Joo won nt first, thon his luck
changed. It see-sawed this way
hroughout tho afternoon, and far Into
tho night, when Ed began to stack up
blue chips In front of him. Ench was
worth $50. No two generals, trained
In strategy, over figured closer than
did thoso two card sharks.
"'Gfeek met Greek,' but tho Celtic
In Ed begun to tell. Joo wus breaking
under tho strain. Ed saw It, pushed
IiIb ndvantngo and tho stnmpodo 'Boon
followed. With a recklessness born of
desperation, Joo turned tho cards
fastor and faster. Llttlo beads of por
splrutlon began to pop from his fore
head. As Joo's temporutura Jumped,
Ed's coolness, his unrelenting play al
most struck terror to your heurt.
"It recalled tragedies. You inadver
tently remembered tho stag you had
drlvon to bay and had shot as it stood
glaring nt you In all Its majesty. Tho
tension couldn't hiBt; It had to brenlt
or I think wo nil would havo died In
our trucks. Tho, end was as unexpect
ed us It wus terrlblo.
"Joo's fuco was of an nshen lino.
His eyes seemed as If they would
burst from their sockets. Wo gazed
nt him. fascinated, thrilled, frlghtoned.
Ed nlono was self-possessed. Ho was
a veritable demon in thoso last min
utes. Fastor and faster tho pluy went
"Joo's head struck tho layout with n
crash. 'My God, I'm broke' wo heard
him say. He had died with tho loss
of his idol, Gold. Ed gnzod at him,
first hi contempt, then In pity. Ho
burled him in regal stylo and tho
wroath ho placed on his gravo boro
tho epitaph, 'Ho was no quitter.'
"After tho funeral Ed ilalmed Joo's
Joint and bank roll. M6110 contested
his right. Ho's in Now York now, and
l guess he'll get a tasto in Wall street
of what he gavo Joe. Thoso days havo
passed In tho southwest whon men
will sell their souls to brouk a faro
bank. 1 guoss tho modem kind Is tho
best aftor all,"
Joke on Lord Kelvin.
Lord Kelvin, wben ha. wsji Sir. WJU
"'When is your tlmo up?' ftiJfsd1
tho old follow.
" 'Monday,' answered Jo, t
" 'So'j mine,' said the ofa-ttmir.-
'Lot's jjjl up. What do y'u ily ,
"VirAt for?' asked Jack, al hptigi
ho kn v tho elder fellow ms'ttt'.'fp.
a careir of crime.
" 'Ah, gwan, said tho othsr. FDlnk
"And Jack thought It over.
"As ho lay in his cell that nijtht '
he Hcured it out from nil direction!.
Easy money. Easy work. Hi mort
quarry! No more, yes! He vould
taka tho risk! His mind rras aiil
up. Ho would do it.
"No moro quarry I Escy wo.'kl
Easy money! No mora tfvmy! No
moro, a pause! am .h? jfrnt
'mother' camo Into h't ygTb.
'"No moro mother!' Ty TM
"But If hi? mother wa.e llv,
Bho might catfo. Sh6 WOUD
care. . ,
"'I'll not do It,' ho sMd to him
self. And ho didn't.
"It was hard for him to do it, but
when ho was discharged from the
workhouse, Jack made straight for I
'free' quarry and nsk'd for & Job.
" 'Where did you work last?' ask
ed tho foreman.
" 'At tho workhouse,' answered
" 'Don't want you,' said the fore
man. " 'All right,' answered Jack. 'I'll
seo the boss. If ho Is a Just man,
I'll bo blasting here before the day
Is over. If ho Isn't, I'll try some
" 'That's strange talk from a Jail
bird,' said tho quarry foreman.
" 'I mean it,' answered Jack.
" 'Pull off your coat and go to
-vork,' replied the foreman. I'll
glvo you a chance.' "
"Jnck stayed at the quarry, and
made a good hand. The foreman
took him to his own homo to board.
"At night Jaek'H spare time was
spent In study; and after he was on.
full pay, he took up a night Course
of instruction at a business college,
where ho learned to keep books. To-,
day ho Is president of a largo con,
structlon company, nnd Is on of my
best friends. Indeed, It Is but ipdajr
ho himself told mo tho story after I
had asked him to what he attrihutr
ed hla success in life, and he lift a
answered tho ono word, 'Mother.' "
And, .nslde, to Nephew Joe ho aad
ed; "And, oven at that, tho msUI
havo told you of, enjoys tho rniifl
distinction of being til fathoi;(iJf
tho young lady whou yoj ek:oHtil
to tho inatlt'o today."
Ham Thomson, hud, as professor o
natural philosophy, an assistant
nnmod Day, who took IiIb lectures fop
him In his absence. Whon the pro
fessor returned tho students would
liston eagerly to htm, and for the first
ten mlnutoB or so ho spoke clearlsj
and Intelligently to nil. By and byi
however, somo now Idea would aug!
gost Itself, and ho would follow It put
In his lecturo, getting more and mora
boyond the depth of his hearers, until'
nt last not ono of thom could under
stand him. On ono occasion a student,
remarked: "Work while It Is yet
Day, for tho (k)nlght cometh when nq
man can work."
German Industry Threatened. I
Tho passing of tho German meer
schaum trade seems Inovltablo. Prac- "
tlcally all tho known deposits of m,eer
sdiaum havo been exhausted. In the '
l(iBt five months tho price of the raw
material hns gone up BO per cent.
In a single town, Huhla, In tho Thur's
Iiiglan forest, over 3,000 workmen hava
been employed In this Industry. The.
only plnco whoro meerschaum Is now
found Is In tho mines of Eekl-Schohltv
Tho output there Is small and most
of It goes to England and America.
THE BANDAGE SLIPPED OF.
Thereby Exposing a Ruse to Save the
A Kansas City professional man,
Who Is prominently Identified wllh
Missouri politics, tells tho following
story on himself: "My folks moved
from Indiana to Johnson county, Mis
souii, whon I was six years of age
Wo tettled on a farm near Holden.
Tho first Sunday wo wero there, and
whllo the family was preparing f,or
Sunday school, it was discovered that
I did not havo nny shoes. My
mother, realizing that 'folks would
talk' If ono of her children mado his
first public appearance barefooted,
suggested that I havo a cloth tied
around ono foot to create the impres
sion that I was unable to wear shoes
because of a sore foot. So tho rag
was tied on me. Everything went
along smoothly and I learned all about
whttt's-hls-namo's bears eating the bad
children up, when I heard a snicker
from a boy I artorwards licked. )fte
was pointing to my right foot I
glanCod downward. The rag had
Bllppod off and my mother's ruse wa
A Harsh Reminder.
"Of courso," said the serene states
man, "I am tho logical candidate."
"Perhaps," nuswered Bonator Sor
ghum. "But you want to remember
that whon It comes to tallying up
votes, It's mathematics and uo logic,
that counts." " '