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BAB A SHARATl
J'ar pant la east mid nwl Ii west,
, And never (ho twain ulinll mout,
It Ib not impiobablo that Rudynrd
'Kipling saw the gulf dividing tho two
civilizations In his caily acquaintance
ship with Bubu Hhaiatl wheu both
j werojotiynallVts In India. U Is cer
tain that Hhnrutl saw ft, for he enmo
'lOjtheOcclilent avowedly to study tho
possibilities of bridging It. Now, after
flvb'ycsrinmong us ho has gone back
to' his own people, never, he says, to
rotHia. Ami with JiIh iitorspectlvo of
V i 7Jw'me,''iold IdonlK of civilization mid (lis
t J.. I 1 . . . i . ...
Inter.estcdncBH Baba Uharatl, "cl
o)T the nnlversc," ascetic, plilloso
and 'apostle of the puiely spiiltual
HfeSecs war Impending betwcoh oast
and wetj a war, not of tho wcHt
against tho "yellow poill'' but of, tho
east against what he calls the "white
peril" of aggressiveness and iniitoilal
lsufi frho Oilent will rise nud diivo tho
white mnn forth. This will happen In
a very few yrars, Uy lOlfj, 1 bcllove,
this conlllct will bo well under "way.
Thlsls m.V own prophecy, hut I lint,
that' Lafcndlo lloain made vlitunll'y
the, me forecast soino years ago. It
iajho 'Whlto Perl)' from which wo stif
foV'Jn the Oi lent Caucasian aggies
Blvcilbss and soul-kllllng civilization."
Such was Uhaiatl'a putting message
to tho 'western world,
Raba (Father) Rhnratl Is not to be
, "j corifounded with the typo of pic
! I titroBquo Hindu charlatans who, with
awiiuifi itiiu BK.VHUI twin Lvauiiiiuo, iniiu
conie to America fioin tlmo to tlmq
UrHvhcpdlp.cInllnrs fioni silly women
and men wh6 wear thumb rings. Ill
sponsors were 'men of like standing
wltlf Iter. Dr. It. Hober Newton, Pi of.
Charles II. 1anman, of Harvard, and
Dr.jKcllx Adlor, of tho Ethical Culture
society. He Is a Brahmin of tho first
order. His father was a magistrate
and his uncle n Judge of tho high
court of Calcutta. Twenty ears ago
he was editor of Jhe T,ahoio Tilbuno
wlion Kipling was n newspaper writer
there. Lntor he became tha editor
and, proprietor of u society paper In
Calcutta. Then his religious Instlucts
assorted theniHQlves, and for 12 years
ho became an ascetic, a hermit, living
al(f; of austeie Hlmpllclty In Urluda
Imn, most holy of India's holy lands
While hoic ho nipt tho great .logeo of
liaiada, a giant in statin e, and be
lieved to bo the most spiritual man in
Imlfn. Under his teachings Haba
Hhaiutl camo to bcllevo that lie had
a mossago to cnny to tho- Caucasian
Ho.tlld not wjHh" to go, and for
he BlingRloil ngnlnst what ho
I u command fiom on high.
Tiep ho went forth, mid now ho re
gards Ills norlf well done, lie Is hup
pyjlji dip thoiiglit of totum, yet hns
earjinjrt Jo Invo the Anloilctln pcbplo
amisfeols panas of regret a( leaving
tlwm foinVc?; :)
JSw The Orient for Orientals.
'Largo of fianje, wltji the prnyer
cltn of ills "Kilslinji,'1 jollov qnd. In
scrlbvd with wondioii3 words to tho
Hindu faith, yuuwl arotiml his turban,
JqSf rayon bluok curls diopplng ddvyn
about his Bhoiildors. with an eye as
cleHf )ia Rhenish wine and n face of
pp'mlluiy bertl;n mien, yol strongly
clilst'letb couiblnlnecraijljt Uooa a cer
tain acquired westbrfi vgor with the
placidity arid caUnncs'a of UioOrlont
Haba llliniutl Is d sirring tlr,uiQ llo
Jibs studlt'ii tllo OeclUvnt nud Its waya
and dcclUeB that tnu nggiessicn, tna
- L tiorticndniB colicoll lind tho'blli
-jif'thrf lili i.'ii'o nrt) '.'oIiik 'ti
'it ab.'iil 'tho iiluihliin- of hli )ai$
. Al.1n will lit) 1 1 eo nl lum fioni d
Alsia will lit) Deo ni lunl tou doiulua-
H f ,' j'? '''' ? V A"
tlon nnd oppression by foreign hands
and that a new M on toe doctiiuo will
bo railed Into "being nud tho Orient
will bo for the Oilcntals alone.
Tho western const Just now Is
aroused over tho "Hindu Pcill,'' a3 -it
Is called. Hundreds', oVcn thousands,
of Hindus are' coming ncrosa tho Pa
cific, and (ho western states and west
ern Canada fear a very deluge. So
great bus. been tho feeling In some
places that tho white laborers hae
driven the dusky Invaders, out, as tlui
Chinese wcro pent forth, from ceitaln
western cities In caily days. Hut
Haba Hhniatl dcclaiC3 there Is no such
'thing as tho "Hindu Peril." It Is
(rnthcr tho ".Tapancso Peril" on tlits
sldo of the Pacific, or tho "Whlto
Peril" on the other aldo of tho ocean.
"Tho Hindus thnt come to tho
Amcilcait shore arc really not Hindus
in tho common ticccptaiico of the
tenn; rather thoy nro half Hindus,
Bll.hs fioni Oppor India, with a differ
ent religion and dlffeicut Ideas," said
Haba IJhanitl In nn Interview I had
with hlni at the Hotel Stnndor Just bo
foro the Mlnneson sailed.- Ho contin
ued: "Tneifl Is no causo to fear an
luvuslon. for only n fovv of tho nlUhs
'will come. And they urn not an ag
gressive people. If thoy find thoy are
not wanted they will not cioss tho Pa
cific. Thpie Is no cuuso'to fear."
Tho Hindu philosopher nnd snge
talked for an hour or nunc on .tills
western world wo know, his custom
world, icllglon, literature, modern
conditions, his own life nnd experi
ences, his holies, ambitions, nud made
predictions of until amazing nntuic
regarding the fuliiio icadjustnicnt ol
relations aciosu tho Puclllo. as tc
startle any person who thinks on the
shadows that poitend coming events
In this Intei view ho summed up a mes
sage ho wished to convey In farowell
to tho Amoilcn he is leaving.
Spirituality Not for Sale.
"Tho 'ow York Herald gave mo and
niy-inlsslon most helpful publicity, nud
then followed' my first siiccess since
leaving my own shoios. I was Jc
lectin e. Thlily perbons eanio to hear
mo, and when I had finished speaking
thoy placed upou tho tablo $30 In
money. 1 almost wept. Then ex.
plained tlpit a Hindu cannot ttiko coin
for sintenanco ho gives clthor to the
body or tho soul. One can tiayel ull
tluoup,li my country without 'being
nblo u buy cooked food, and spliltual
it)- Is not for baitor nnd pole, either.
"This was mcioly the mlstnko oi
cpnuuciclnllzcd Amoilca. Those Now
Yenisei's thought, In their slmplo wny
that money cmdd 'pay for anything
Yet I found them waijn hearted and
altogether- lowUilo, Jtisttas all other
Amcilcniis nro, Whpn they can he
hnltfl for a Jew momenta In their
mini pursuit or gold thoy huvo udmlr
nb)e iiatures, 1 find.'
"T)io tibunle vlth AmorlcaMH' thnt, It
s building on a inntoilal jilap'o. It
lRniK!?jnR ttenicmiops progrpss In all
things nittlQrial, but wq of the Orient
(inderstuud tho' spliltual. AVo ljve pot
for to-day, ,bijt for nil time, and wheii
you fpiECtnlie HOil,.as youjifo, ybji are
liialttnis a ead mistake Yoiir modern
'Chirchlafilty' Ih, Bpolllng yoiir Chi Is
tlanlty. Your ministers ot the gospel
want more spHtuallty. They" do not
elovntn themselves abovo .tho level o
the visible, mutmlal wot Id, You;
much vaunted progioss 'counts for
naught. , T '
"Yqu look at lfo on -tjio siirfaqo
, wo of. IliiiXIlloiil, look at it In its tlopth,
l)i th'-i cool ,ftiif.l ,miot,pl96S0YlBr5
thei Is no tuibtilelice aitdno mad
TBS 'MATttON DAILY
8cratnbl0 America it Afflicted with
national nervousness, as I tall' It. In
crtaln directions you' call It frentlcd
finance. I see It In every phase of
life. I observe it where you do not
Bupposo it cxlfda.
"In India religion Is the chief busi
ness ot life. All el so is subordinate.
It Is tho true anchor of the Hindu. In
tho morning ho arises, and nftor his
bath ho gives up two hours to spirit
ual thought and contemplation at
least two hours. Then he looks after
tho needs of his body. All else Is Biih
oidinate to this rovoicnco for Iho
Cicntor and those things which typify
and represent Him.
"Christianity, In Its teachings, is
sublime. I preach Christ as much as
1 do my Krishna, who represents to
nm thn irrent Incarnation of (5od. tlnil
Is love, as Christ says, and thnt Is all
there Is to any religion. Tho Bible,
which I reaped nnd love, Is merely a
page from tho Vcdas of. India. Thoy
contain all Its truths, and more.
"Hut you enn seo only yoiir own
religion. Ican see tho good of nil.
When I became an ascetic In India I
lost my nationality and becamo n citi
zen of tho Universe. I lovo nil peoplo.
When I wns In London, oven, I felt a
deep heart lntcreat In tho Briton,
even though ho Is oppressng my peo
ple. "I did nrit come to America to thrust
my religion upon you. 1 camo to nd
vnnco spli'ltuallty In whatever foun 1
And It. Yet you send your mission
ailes to 'convert' us.' Wo cannot help
but smile, when wo nr tho very In
carnation of religion oursolvcs. With
your religion, which Is constantly
changing, altering with tho cuuents
of new thought, you seek to rejuven
alo us, who uro fastened inseparably
to the gieat, deep truths of'tho unl-
vet so; truths which know no muta
tion. "Wo wonder how wo ever got along
without line helping hand of the New
"Hut tho truth did come out not long
ago, and now we know why your mis
sionaries do come to visit us. Some
one close to your richest man declared
that missionaries are tho besttrado
getters. There again your cornmor
elullsmf "The wlno maker calls out 'I have
Iho best wines!' The soap maker
calls out: 'My soap is the best!' Tho
minister: 'Thoro'ls no religion llko
unto mine!' It Is pitiful. Christianity
Is reduced to commerclnllty."
Concerning Mr. Rockefeller,
Curious to know what Baba Bharatl
would say of tho richest man In Amer
ica, I .asked him for his opinion of the
picsident of the Stnndnid Oil com
pany. ""."It is envy mora thnn anything clso
thnt makes tho avcrago American con
domn Rockefeller," ho answered. "He
thinks that Rockefeller has some o(f
the millions that ho should have.
"Please do not think that I am se
vcro uilh Americans. I do not mean
to be, but 1 cannot help observing how
they cohtiagt with us of the far cast.
'a..ux. m vsf- .'f)
. fromher borders; ? '.
Tho Amqricnn will loud nil tho whllo
rnco In, ;sjilrlluallty n tllo time to
cpiiio", JJ tvent lo England and found
thu ISngllsh too seir-sutlsfiod and sinug
ly couipntcd'wlth, themsolvos to ro
celyo niy mossagei i
"UntAmerlcttfis yet aro children
from th.e spiiltuul viewpoint. Your
minister who taught only spirituality
would be boycotted,
"I know your literature and I love
t", What Is1 '"there finer In lariguag&
than Irving? , Mail; Twain Is the
gioatost living wtlter lu the world,
His 'Following tho Equator' is a won
derful lioolt." Thiougli his woihu, in
hl'i1 uiunucothcrpM'ttiiH tiht tUtend of
the spliltual that pluilea Itlni high
uinong tho gteat jiien ot letters.
"Bui fo'hlrn'faj, another phase of
modern t'onilltloiw. You in 'your
materialistic, progress have glvoh the
Orient implements of destruction,
hilo through, all the ages we gave
you naught but peace. These weap
ons of warfare iho Oriental, Imper
sonated by the .Tapancso, turned upon
the Russian, and llib TOBUlt'was a war
tho like of which Is unknown Jn ,hls
tofy not a slrigto Reverse for tllo tneii
of Nippon. Thoso same Japanese-, with
reawakened China o'v6n greater than
Jhpan, nnd India at the back of both,
nro going to show tho world a conflict
that will malrt all qthcrs palo In com'
"America" walttn to oxplolt tho whole
World, but would Bhut out foreigners
front her borders Is It not likely that
foreign nations will retaliate? And
then what answer-can America make?
"The Mikado Is one of tho greatest
rulers any -nation has produced in
modern times. When, ten yours be
fore tho war with Russia, Japan was
deprived of the fiults of her victory
over China by tho Kuiopcan pewets
tho Mikado said nothing, but compiled
with apparently good gince. Then hp
quieuy prepared in punisii uussia as
the moHt hated of those powers,
''future oVenta will como nboiit In
this way: President Roosevelt' will
suggest to Japan that mi exclusion
treaty bo signed preventing Japanese
of the lower clnsErs from enteilng
Amcilcn. This will not moot with
favor on the other bide of the Pacific,
but a storm will ailso here which will
force through congiess some soit of
an exclusion measure.
"Tho Mikado will still hold his
pence, but soon after ho will framo a
message to be sent to Washington,
rending feometlililg like this:
'"You havo found It necessary for
the protection of your woiklng, classes
to exclude Japanese from your bnrdara.
After cnrcful consideration wo find
that our country will ho benefited Viy
prohibiting tho entry of American
trade, and a decree Is hereby piomul
gated.' "What could Amctlcn do but ac
cede, at least Tor the tlmo? Yet how
could such a condition continue? Tho
great conflict is coming, and while
hate to think of It, whllo 1 rosiet that
peace cannot always prevail, still, the
peoplo of many countries will be bene
fited and those of my own India will
"This heenis a. harsh piophecy to
moke upon lenvlns Amoilca for nil
time, but it is sonicthlng neither you
nor 1 can control. It Is the Inevit
able." N. Y. Herald.
Where the Dog Is Valued.
In northern I-Yuncq, and In Helglum
especially tho dog Is indeed tho friend
of man. Ho Is madp'lo work. He
gota littfc play except that sijiajl,
amount deemed HiiHIclcnt to prevent
cnnlno dullness, yet lie IsTiso 'loved nud
so well cared for h his owner Hint
ho becomes a most Impnitnnt member
of the family. The fanner, tho ti ados
man, tho householder, Iho gudrdsmah
of tho frontier wnishlps his 'dog5 ono
of the first things ho thinks of when
founding his little honto He takes
delight in ropsjug tho dog's intelli
gence, and losos no chance of pit
ting thnt Intelligence against others,
Locdl twmcra vie with each other to
Improve a breed: dog clubstake up
the work, holding exhibitions ih vlU
lages and fOwns; cities challenge
neighboring municipalities til contents
ou tile grandest scale. The Wide
No Bleeplnq Place,
Lily had livod in the most' bio wdod
'part ot a great city On Iter frat visit
jo mo coiunry fine gnsted in pity on-the
iidfi flltlliiB tibnui,, olJMfci ving: "Piiilr'
little birds, thoy lmvau't uvea a cage
to Bleep In!" '
r , J
ONE OF THE BEAUTIES ON THE STAGE
, . "- K&XmmWmMmSmmMsi
i ehi&w.ziw&mmi&im j o.sxa'SiQ5a5iSiBSi?a a
BEAR OLD AQE WELL. MANSFIELD'S CAR PURCHASE.
Great Players Who Have Trod Boards
for Many Years.
Annlo Yenmans, who has been upon
the stage for Ct years, hns Just loft It
for good. The last pait sho played
was that of a graude damp in "Tho
Hurdy Curdy Girl," n iiiubIcuI comedy
by Richard Caile, who was not born
at tho tlmo that Mrs. Ycumans went
upon the stage.
Joseph Jefferson's span of years
touched both the theater of to day and
tho theater of tho time of Edwin For
rest and Mncrcady. Henry Irving,
whoso life was a highly nervous ono
and who did n licmcndous amount, of
work, lived much longer In tho excit
ing air of the theater than, nccoullng
to uonic of his medical fi lends. It
would bo,j)OSHlblo for him to have
lled In a,'qulotcr atmosphere.
There was revived tho other day tho
romantic society drama (how stiango
ly that'dcscrlptlve phiase falls upon
modern ears) "Jim the Poninan."
People who went to seo It cnlled It
1111 old timer, .but the man who cieatcd
tho part of Capt. Rcdyood, tho detec
tive with the Kngllsh a'ceeut and tho
lin'blt of falling asleep all over tho
place, was 10. M. Holland, who lu still
acting. Although borne plays havo
survived generation after geueintlon
of nctors, theio are, on the other
hand, bohnllcss nctots who haxo sur
vived countless plays.
nichard MansHold was. enn111.11 a.
'tlvely aiieaklng, n young mnn nt thp
time ot his death, and lu this ho dif
fered from most of tho other gienr.
actors. , Colloy Clbbor lived till ho
became senile, David Gat nick passed
the last yeutH ot his life In 11 sylnn
ictreat with his wife, who never found
her llfo Iqng enough to peimlt lror to
master the English language.
GOSSIP OF THE STAGE.
Elsa II j an has joined the company
playing "Tho ljollo of Muyfaii."
Allied Sutip's latest play, "Tho
Barrier," 1 lepoited to bo a dlbup
polutmcut lu Loudon.
James K. Hackett will open his
season 'In "John Glajde'n Honor." In
Milwaukee, next i.ionth. Mr. Hack
ett's company will Includp Miss Dar
tagh, Miss Iicuo M0010, William
Sautor, David Glassfoid, Georgo M.
Graham, Lawiqnco Kddlngor and Wal
ter B. Greone.
Nat 0, Goodwin's repeilory this ben
Hon wll Includo "Ambition," "An
Amorlcan Clllren," "Wlion- Wo Weto
Twonty-'One," "Tho Glided Pool," "Tho
GonlitB," "The IllyalByin Mlroma,"
and a tiew play by Geolgo Bioadbuist,
Indlcntlpns r.re that Nat will havo a
strenuous time. His season will open
Miss Flora Juliet Bowley, leading
womun with Koboit Kdoson In "Class
mates,"' comes of a 'military family,
iler father, Capt. Fieemitn . Bowley,
was ,t West Pointer und lived and
died ('n tho army. Ono of her l oth
ers, Capt." Albert J. Bdwlcy, Is ul30 u
WoBt Pointer and nn nld-de-camp to
aenv Grhht, while her younger broth
or, Fic'e'uihii' Bowley, Is a cadet ut
'6jt Point) Her father was tho uu
thdr,of bevpral military nools.
Actor Bought Coach Built for
dent of Road.
The story of Mr. Mansfield's pur
chase ot the fine pilvato car he had
tited for some tlrtio previous to hU
death never hns been told. Until
three yearn ago ho had been hauled
around tho couutiy lu a car not In
keeping with (ho gate icreljits. He
yearned for gaudier Killing stock, but
noor found tho opportunity to go
shopping for It. '
While playing In Cluclnnntl his enr
was hauled eory night out to rein
back, a suburb. One ovcuritig ho
called at tho btntlou for his car. In
company with Claronco Hoiton. an
assistant general passenger agent of
thn Big F0111, and on tho Biding lie be
held n magnificent uuv pilvato car
that made his lopk tike uu abandoned
caboose. He nuked pel mission to In
spect. It, and Hoiton conducted him
"I'o been looking for Just such a
car," said .Mr. Maiiblleld. "I'd llko to
buy this one."
"Don't think It's for bale." explained
Hoiton. "TJ10 cat la now and just ar
ilved. It belongs to Mr. M. K. Ingalls,
picsident of tho road, and ho has uot
yet ridden lu It."
"Seo If jou can't buy It for me,"
asked Mr. Mnusllcld.
Mr. Ingalls put what he bolloed to
bo u pioblblthe price on tho car
"And that must be paid on the
spot," he ndded, with 11 wink.
Iloitnii tcpoited thla conversation
to Mr, Miinsllolil, and tho latter, with
out comment, wioto hl check for the
amount. Ho lett Cincinnati lu tho
Brief and tc the Point,
Leo DiUlchhtoln, who is blurring
this season In "Before and After,"
holds something or a reputation as a
stoiy tollor Recently he submitted
tho following In a "shortcbt shoit
"A man, suffeilng teirlbly with
some Internal ppset, leaves his home
about thrco o'clock In the morning,
and dashes for the homo of tho. near
ost physician Running up the steps
he ilngs tho boll vloloatly, nnd nftcr
some moments havo oTnspeil a head Ii
thrust from nn upper window and thu
voice of (ho doctor said:
"'Nope,' enmo tho answer. 'Vci.i
As Clyde Fitch Writes.
A mntlneo glil from Chicago looked
up from long ntl painful 7tudy of one
of Clydo KHcIi'h autographed senti
ments Into that uuthot's face.
"Mr. Kltch," she began, inoutnfully,
"I know whj jou havo not muiiied,"
"Toll ipe. 1 would like to know."
"Cert.iul It must have happened
this way;' You wioto a pioposal of
marriage 10 n beautiful leading wom
an In one oi jour companies, You
should have proposed In poraon, But
you wroto. Rho couldn't rend your
wiltluH and thought It Wfu a tllsnila
sal fiom tho company, She di'QV.ned
herself, nud you uro still mummied.''
As a pencrfll proposition end
I linvo cry Utile pallenco with the potsy
nf this school, . PfciVlii
And tlio uiual easy meter, with a "when'I
In tho rtfrnln, ' .4 !(,
Almost always Rives tlio writer somelhlnt;
of ir rihootlntr pnln. . ,i f r
Still, n ecrlnln nort ot crso form Is Mis
best to suit the cssit, vi 1
Ami n sestlno n-otild ta silly It the theme
wcro coimnonplnco; ' v.t
Ilcnrc 1 say n slmplo methoi, bo that
simply I limy couch
In n prosy wny the dullness ot when
Lizzie bos n crouch.
Know olt Mrrle Is tho sen-ant; Also, be
It understood, '-m -
I,llo tho often mentioned pemon who
when good was ory good. - , t
But wlicncvcr somcthlnir rufllcs her n
inlaery profound . 1 .
Seems to permeate tlio atmoeplicre for
nccral feet nround, .
And sho slRhs nnd mumbles sadly, and slio
wenrs n worried look, .
And It seems no whit unlikely wo shnll
lob n Jewel cook: 1
Sho Is rnreloss wltll tho dishes: sho's a
slattern nnd n slouch.
I.lz7le's everything unbcnutlful when
I-lxrlo hns a crouch.
Freo nnd Independent nntlon. nro yoi
slit Inking nnd nTrald?
Is tlio ruler of jour domiciles a dull nnd
forclcn maid? N
Shall she be tho houso barometer, iinfall-
ItiK every dny? 11
Shall thH bo the jjrent domestic question:
"I.tzzlc will ynu slay?"
Shall our hnnrtn bo hoppv only when sho
maUci tho creat deeldo
Thnt she'll stnv nnollicr forlnlcht and
sho serine well satisfied? -
Maybe no At any inle, for this no house-
wlfo but will vouch
That nlTnln nt home are prctly" sad
when Lizzie has n crouch.
Or Annie or Hrldcct or Ilulda or Mary
rrnnklln P Adams In Puck.
The Voice From Outside. '
The pieucher had Kent his colored
mnn of all woik. Pete, to n butcher
whose name was Paul for beef with
the promise thnt hn would pay later.
This wns l.tto Sntutilny night, anil
Pole forgot to icport until tho next
day. As he ncarcd the parsonage,
which, by the way, wns next door to
the church, be hcnul the minister
pienchlug In his pulpit, .lust'ns Peto
arrived In front of the church tho
minister shouted, quoting fioin his
text. "And what did Paul say?" Pete.
Intent upou delivering his message,
replied with an equally loud shout,
"lie say you don't get no mo beer till
you pay for d.it 3011 ilouo got."
Forgot His Cue.
First Actor What was tho matter
with Henry? He didn't appear in tho
hcioml net at all.
Second Actor Henry? Oh, yes. tho
fellow thnt takes the part of tho Chi
naman! Why, he forgot Ills cue. Har
A Petition For Grandma.
The little glil was very Tond of
pleasant days mid at tho close of n
heavy rainstorm petitioned In "her
prayer for fine weather. Wberii 'Hie
next morning tho sun shono bright hmt
clear she been mo Jubilant and told' her
prayer to her gruudmothcr, who said:
"Well, dear, why can't you pray td
night thnt It may bo warmer tomor
low, so grandma's rheumatism will bo
"All right. 1 will," was the quick
response, 11111I that night ns she knelt
bho made this request In her prayer,
"Oh, Clod, please make it hot for
grandma." Woman's Homo Compan
So It Would Seem. ' '
Shlppcn It's nwfully dull In' iho
shipping business. Nothing to do at
all. It's pnitlculnrly haid on tho tramp
sleamcis. ' 1'
Jokoley Why. I should think tramp
stcameis would ho delighted when
there's nothing to do. Philadelphia
Real Sweet. '
"Please let mo take your picture,
mlbs," pleaded tho young man with
tho c.imcm. "I dcclaic, you nro sweet
enough to eat." ' '
"Guidons!" laughed the pretty sum
mer glil. "And Is that why you wish
to put 1110 011 a plate?" Detroit Trib
une. Cruel to Call Him a Barber4 '
A W'lthambtow barber, whobad
Just opened his shop, niinouhccd blm
holf uti "tousdrlnl artist, physiognom
ical hnli dresser, facial operator, cra
nium manipulator ami cnplllat'y a tif Nig
er. Hair gut and Hhujo with niriblder.
trous facility." Chicago Kecord-Hor-aid.
Effective Results. 'MU. '
"I huo never beeu whlpptoH'telit
once," declined tho bonstfiil Uft.
"and. stinugo to snj1, It was for tfelllig
tho truth." ' IV"-
"It ciued you," ventured tUo meek
man quietly. Woman's Home Com
panion. " 1 .
An Elastic 8tandard.
Contributor Una that pooui' 'any
"Oh, yes. if It hadn't I would 'rh'W'W
you out or tho window. Bui It lsvd
enough In pminlt you o Muni qulr'lly
down Uu back Mlnlts," r-fjsw Vpw
1 a 11
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