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riMlntliro, n liiviior dlirloit hi IiIh immo or wln-llmr be
tK NiilmcHliMr 'il not I t)ninnll'U' for Kit prt.
'I fitirtrt Imvp rUrldi'd Itmt rcfualiiu to tk" nfWK.
tNrn tin! pPttodtriO from IlirtX'il oftl' t (irroii'ivtiff
mcmI li'Rvltiir thi-in iirvaliiwl for, ( prima ncli evlrivuc
Uf lNi'lNUlikAL VHAtll.
NEWSPAPER LAWS. THIS IS WHY.
foM p ro smiling throng h the ffrny tl me,
tinier nuked, Honjdess bowers;
Some frt IIMMltlllllKllll tile MllV tltllf,
Mid tho lintKliliiK Iukwh and flowers,
Comes to kl-n Winter (frny?
Whv, ahl why
lot)i Morrow sluh
On tho lupof lovely MhP
Himpy I,nvo, with annRnml snilllnir.
'rliroiiKh thi' withered wimdliiiiil goes)
llnpless l,ovo Imth no hcifiillliiK
i-'roiii thn rcHlircitat of the ruac.
Thin Ik why
Woods nmv stirh.
Mower" cllo mid liemtn ! gay:
The piteous pn
Thnt leiivos ii" moumlnp nil the Miiv.
Alfrtti iiraret, in UUell'i Living jig,
A ROMANCE OF AVENUE A.
TllF noblest pltirc thnt man cnn die
Is where ho dies for mini.
PART 1.—THE INTRODUCTION.
A genuine metropolitan Bohemian
sees so many different qualities of hu
manity ana mixes in so many different
strata of society, that romances are ov-ery-day
episodes in his eventful and
somewhat erratic career, and I there
fore make no apolopy or explanation
for the following tragic yenre, which I
have written out just as it occurred. The
dramatis persowc were all known to me,
and much of the acting In the tragedy
was done under my eye. There are he
roes and heroes. My hero, a rough,
uneducated laboring man, takes a posi
tion in the latter class. Ho gave his life
lor another, when the sacrilice required
an exercise of the noblest qualities of
The scene of my story Is laid in the
American metropolis, and most of tho
action takes place in a tenement house
situated on t hat great street of tenement
houses, Avenue A. All the characters
and tho historian lived together j occu
pying between them one flat of a tene
ment house nine stories high. Our flat
was tho seventh from the ground, and
being the only lodgers on that floor we
speedily bec:ime woll acquainted. Be
ing a- bachelor, I occupied tho front
room, which was study, reception
room, kitchen, dining-room and sleep
ing apartment. Mv next-door neigh
bors were an elderly Irish woman with
tier two sons, Patsy and Teddy Horley.
They occupied three roora9. The two
back rooms had as an occupant one of
the loveliest little maidens it was ever
my good fortune to meet. I think she
came originally from Massachusetts.
She worked at shirt-making In a large
Canal Street establishment, and her
name was written on the pay-roll as
Alice Layne. The Horleys and Miss
Layne had been neighliors some time
wnen x Became an inmate of the bouse,
and wore already quite intimate.
Patsy Horley was the oldost of the
brothers, large formed, red-headed, and
with irregular, homely features, lie was
heavily freckled, and I never saw him
during a six months' acquaintance time
that he didn't have a three days' growth
of red stubble on his lace. He had large
gray eyes, and these were the most
striking of his facial organs. They had
but one expression unsworving hon
esty in their every flash. Patsy was a
menioer 01 tne corner "gang," ana fro
quently came home much the worse for
liquor, whioh grieved his old mother
sorely, twe was a blunt, plain-spoken
woman, 60 years old, fat. and much
given to a " weakness " in all parts of
her body, which prevented the possi
bility of labor. So she was content to
sit by the window all day long knitting
at a never-nmsnea Diue woolen stocking.
Her "byes" were very good to her.
Teddy gave her all his earnings. Patsy
most all. Teddy was the reverse oi his
brother. He was six feet in his socks.
finely proportioned, handsome. His eyes
were macK, nis nair ana mustache bark
brown, but curly. He was considerable
of a dandy and " dressed up " every
night after work. There was a deep
affection existing between these brothers.
They loved each other, and this devo
tion was apparent in every act of their
Miss Alice Layne was, as I have be
fore stated, a lonely little maiden,
pretty, and with a tender heart, suscept
ible to the slightest variation of life's
compass. Less than a week after tak
ing up my quarters in the front room I
rna.de a discovery. Alice I.avne was in
love with Patsy Horley and Teddy Hor
ley was in love with Alice Lavno. It
was an interesting study to watch the va
rious phases of this cross passion, and
I never tired of it. It was very evident
to me that Patsy Horley admired the
little shirt-maker, but he kept the secret
safely locked in his great big heart, and
only took it out at odd moments when
he thought no ono would notice the
treasure to gloat ' over it and adore it
and worship it as his mother did the
figure of the Virgin at the head of her
bed. I don't suppose the honest fellow
ever areameatnat ins love was returned,
How could he when he so blindly wor
shiped the superior physical gifts of his
vounsr brother. For Patsy was verv
proud of handsome Teddy, and never
tired of praising him. Alice, with
woman's intuition, saw the noble in
Patsy's charaotor, and although Teddy's
srooa looks ana tine aress ana " flowers '
made an impression upon her it was
only a transitory one, which vanished
as soon as she caught sight of Patsy's
Big. homely face and honest gray eves.
Like all good-looking men, Teddy Hor
ley was Just the least bit conceited, and
he imagined that it was only necessary
to declare his passion to find himself in
undisturbed possession oi Alice s heart.
One warm afternoon I was lying on a
lounge in my room, endeavoring to in
terest myself in the " Light of Asia."
Mrs. Horley was down stairs visiting a
neighbor, and I was nodding over the
poem, when Alice Layne tripped up the
stairs ana entered her apartments.
heard her singing softly to herself as she
made preparations for supper, and, mis
anthrope that I am, envied her that
bird-like lightness of heart which trilled
through every measure of the song. I
was brooding over the melancholy past,
when a heavy footstep sounded on the
stairs and Patsy Horley, in his rough
working clothes, and a little under the
influence of liquor, opened the door of
the room adjoining mine and threw bim
eif heavily on the bed. He got up di
rectly, opened a little window over the
door which separated the two rooms,
took a drink of water and lay down
again. It may be well to mention that
this chamber was a dark room, and was
occupied by the brothers as a sleeping
apartment. A few minutes after this
T eddy Horley bounded up the steps and
entered the living-room, which was be
tween the dark chamber and his moth
er's bedroom. Finding his mother ab
sent, hocrossod the hull and knocked at
Miss Ltyne's door. The little maiden
hushed her wing and opened it.
"Oh, Teddy, it's you, is it P" she
could It beP"
1 thought It was I'atsv." she said.
Then there was ft strtigirle. a stifled
scream, and a smack, smack of lips.
Tho noise disturbed tipsy Patsy, and he
rose from his bed and opened the door
entering into tho hallway. Tho sen file
outside continued and there was more
smacking. Presently Alice cried :
"Oh, i'eildv Ilorlev. vou're perfectly
horrid, and I don't like you one bit,
" Now, diirlint! began Teddy.
" Don't darlint me i I don't like vou.
You are better looking and liner dressed
than Patsy, but he is a thousand times
better than yon."
" Perhaps yo'ro In almost," said Tod
dy, a little passionately. "There's many
a mruo worn spoKcn in jest."
" Well, I am in earnest. I do like
Patsy, and if he'd ask mo to marry him
this day, I'd jump at the chance. So
there, now, you have the truth."
Then the door was slammed, and I
heard Teddy walking slowly buck into
his mother's room. J'resontlv there
cunio a knock at my door, and when I
cried "Come in," Patsy's freckled face
appoareu on the threshold. I spoke to
him kindly and invited him to havo a
chair. He sat down, and I saw that
what ho had heard had sobered him.
Aftor a moment's silence he cleared his
throat and began :
" iiu ye near what she said?"
" Yes, Patsy," I replied.
"An' do vo belaive sho manes it?"
he continued, eagerly. '
i nave no aouut oi it."
. " God bless her swata soul ! T I'm not
the man lor her, an' I niver to't she
cared for me. If I could only bring me
self to belaive it's thrue, I'd bo a differ
Ho sat in silence for some time and
then rose to go. When he reached the
door he turned and said :
" I was a bit dhrunk when I come
home to-night. It's hard work be-
yont hero in tho tunnel, but I swaro to
ye tnat afther to-night there 11 never a
drap of pwhisky pass my lips."
I bade him good night and (Jod speed
In this new-formed resolution, and he
shook my hand warmly. Mrs. Horley
came home and she" and Patsy had
supper together. Teddy was out. I
took a short walk that' evening, and
coming home passed Patsy and Alice
on one of the cross-streets walking
together, arm in arm. I did not hoar
wnatthey wore saying, but felt convinced
Patsy had declared nis love and been
made happy with Alice's acknowledg
ment that the passion was reciprocated.
The next morning Patsy caine to my
room before he went to His work, lie
seized my hand, and a look of supreme
happiness shot from his gray eyes.
" Sho sez she'll havo me, sor," ho
said, " an' we'll be married e. soon e.
I get through work on the tunnel. I'm
a nappy man, but for wan thing it's
Teddy. Poor bye, ho takes it to heart,
an' is not himself at all. God knows
I'm his brother, an' would rather lose
me roight hand than bring harm to
" Oh, that will be all right. Ho'U
get over his disappointment in a few
days," 1 san I, to console him.
"I wish I could think so," ho said,
moving toward tho door, and these were
the last words I ever heard the poor fel
PART II. THE CATASTROPHE.
Every reader of the Free. lress has
hoard of tne terrible tunnel disaster.
the details of which electrified the whole
country. Teddy and Patsy Horley were
employed in the tunnol as laborers, and
worked side bv side in the flume relief.
The morning of my last interview with
poor Patsy, they went to their work as
usual, and for the first time in their
lives spoke never a word of kindly cheer
or brotherly badinage as they walked
swiftly through the streets. The bettor
to make plain what follows, it will be
necessary to say that the entrance to the
tunnel proper, on the New York side, is
through a circular, perpendicular shaft,
thirty feet in diameter, and about sixty
feet deep. This is a working shaft, the
bottom of which is used for the reception
of waste matter, as it is excavated, and
before it is taken away. Thirty feet be
low the surface of tho ground is an " air
lock," which is the sole moans of com
munication between the tunnel and the
outer air. It is necessary to keep the
air inside tho tunnel suiliciently com
pressed to maintain a pressure of seven
teen pounds to the square inch, and the
" air lock " servos a similar purpose to
the lock of a, canal, equalizing the pres
sure of the air to those passing in or out,
as a canal lock balances tho level of the
water. As a matter of courso, there
are two doors, one at each end of this
lock, only one of which can be opened
at once, whilo tho lock itself is fifteen
feet long by six feet and six inches wide,
allowing for the passage, in oase of ne
cessity, of thirty men at once.
As they were preparing to go down
the shaft that morning Patsy turned to
his brother and whispered :
" It's a quare feelm' I have in me this
mornin', Teddy. May the blissed Yor
gin protect us from harm."
Teddy laughed. " It's tho pwhisky,"
he Baid, and turned away, not so quick
that his eye didn't meet the reproachful
flash that fell from his brother's great
gray orbs. Afterwards that look haunted
him, and made the misery of life all the
harder to bear.
Twenty-eight men composed a relief,
and the work of excavation moved along
smoothly until noon. Then tho squad
was divided. Fourteen men went to
lunch; the remainder worked on., In
half an hour the first squad was hoard
advancing and the others threw down
their tools and prepared to leave the
tunnel. Patsy was in tho lirst squad,
Teddy in the second. The men return
ing had passed inside through the air
lock and the others had quit their posts
preparatory to leaving. It is probable
that if they had delayed this for even a
minute, the accident would not have
happened, for the fatal leak, which was
discovered just too late, might easily
nave been stopped if discovered in time.
As the two squads met just at the mo
ment of Shifting, a peculiar hissing
sound was heard, with which all were
familiar. It meant a leak, aad a leak
meant death !
"Back and stop the leak !" shouted
the Superintendent, and the order was
obeyed almost before it was given.
As many as could get there jumped
for the place, where all knew the dan
ger was greatest. The brothers worked
sido by side.
" It's the raaneingof the quare feelin'.
Teddy," cried Patsy, as they both plied
pick ana snovet. "juay tne vorgin
The joining of the temporary roof of
the tunnel with the wall of the shaft was
necessarily imperfect. It was intended
to make all secure with a three-foot wall
of brick and cement, but it was impossi
ble to set the foundation of the brick
work until after the circle of the tunnel
should be completed, so that this imper
fect lolnture was continually watched.
With reasonable diligence it was easy to
keep it closed, and the material to close
it was plenty and at hand. The chinks
" Sum It Is, iwatnness.
were stopped with the silt, of which tho '
ri T hoi loin is largely composed a
clayey mud, of tho consistency of initlv i
niiu man annum uavo noon at this
pnrt watohing the chink.
No pen cnn describe the terrible strug
gle which followed. . It lasted scarcely
two minutes. Tho men were nerved by
a full knowledge of the great danger of
their position. Not a man but knew
that lie carried his life in his hands
whenever he went to work, and not a
man failed to know that the supreme
moment had rome. All worked well.
The brothers did the work of ten men.
It was too late 1
The leak that one man eovdd have
stopped if he had been thereat the right
moment was now wide enough for the
foul current of corruption and denth to
flow in from tho river bottom, and tho
only safety lay In flight. Between the
spot where they wore and the open air
tliore wore two locked doors, only ono
of which could bo opened at onco. The
littlo rift above their heads became a
ehaam. The compressed air escaped
until mere was no lonrror pressure
enough from within to maintain the por
tion of unfinished work. Tho electric
light by which they worked was extin
guished, and darkness added its terrors
to their great misery.
In the confusion the brothers, who had
instinctively clasped hands when the
water and mud poured in upon them,
wero separated. Patsy reached out his
hand ami it was clutched by some one
in the darkness.
"To tho caison!" shouted the Super
intendent, anil the men rushed pell mell
toward this only avenue of escape He
was standing by the inner door of the
air-lock, and threw it open for the men
to jioss through.
"Quickboys!" he cried. "Get into
the lock!" And instead of passing in
among the first ho stood by the door
helping one aftor another in.
Six men passed, among them Patsy
Horley. He looked around anil called
loudly for Teddy. There was no ro
snonso. Tho seventh man was passing
through. He pushed by him into the
"Teddy bye!" he cried.
" Hero!" shouted a voice at his sido.
"Get through quick!" ho said, and
pushed his brother through.
He would havo followed him but an
other of tho men stepped in front of
him, and ho holped him into tho lock.
This man was almost through when tho
awful weight of tho mud and water fell
against tho door, pinning him so fast
that nothing could have freed him in
The door was fast. One' man was
fastened in tho doorway botween the
other nineteen and their last chance of
life. Tho eight in the lock wore thus
almost lost, for there was no longer a
chance to close tho inner door, and tho
flood was closing on them. Swiftly the
water rushed into the lock ; it rose knee
doep where they stood, and the air was
compressed by all the pressure of the
rise above them in the little chamber,
tho door of which was securely fastened
against them. They could not open this
door, nor could they break it from the
inside. But in the lock were two dead
lights of massive glass, eight inches in
diameter, and these the men knew were
to be broken as a last resort.
"My God! the water is gaining on
us," said one; " what shall we do?"
" Kape cool, men, kape cool!" an
swered a voice from the river side of tho
tunnel. Teddy rushed to the buli's eye
and looked through. There stood Pat
sy and the Superintendent side by side,
their faoos white as death.
" Keep cool," cried the Superintend
ent through the crack of the door;
" nothing can be gained by excitement."
" But shure, sor, the walherisgainin'
on us, and we can't opon the door into
" The water is covering mo up,"
moaned the poor fellow who was crush
ed by the door. "Can't you got me out
Teddy caught him by the neck, and
several otfcers sprang to his assistance.
They pulled and tugged, but it was no
use. Every moment was agony tc tho
poor ' man, and ho would beg piteously
to bo let alone. The water got higher
'They'll have to shtop the crack,
sor," said Patsy, and the Suporintcnd
ont.his white Hps moving In prayor,nod
ded his head.
" Take off your clothes.men, and stop
the crack of the door," he added.
Some one said that that would cut off
what little communication there was be
" Niver molnd us, min," said bravo
Patsy, "it's your only chance."
"But then " began Teddy, who was
" Do as you are ordered," cried the
Tho men sprang forward, and Patsy
reached his groat freckled hand through
" Good-bye, Teddy," he said chok
ingly. " Tell the mother I died loike a
brave man. An' Alice "
He could say no more, and in a mo
ment the men had patched the crack in
the door with their clothes, and the rap
id increase of the wator was checked.
" Can you pray P" whispered the Su
perintendent, as his hand tightened on
" Blessed Mary, save us !" sobbed the
Teddy ran 4o the bull's eye and looked
through. He saw the Superintendent
and his brother standing sido by side
peering in at him. The faces of both
men wero palu, and wero only a few
feet above the water that gurgled about
them. He heard l'atsy's muttered
firayer, and a deep groan burst from his
"Patsy, brother!" he shouted.
Patsy smiled, and nodded his head.
"Bo kind to Alice," he said, and
then, raising his voice, shouted "Break
open the outside bull's eye!"
"Yes, knockout the bull's eye; knock
it out, I say," commanded the stern
voice of the Superintendent.
Tne men in the air lock knew that to
obey this order meant sudden and sure
death to their companions, and they
liesitated. Again it come:
" Knock out the bull's eye ! " and then
tho stern voice of the Superintendent
faltered a little as it added, " and do
what you can for the rest of us!"
Blow upon blow fell upon the thick
glass, and was answered from the out
side by two men who had by this time
arrived with crowbars. The glass Hew
out and the cold air rushed in.
" God tako us to him and protect our
wife and babies!" muttered the Super
intendent, and his hand closed tighter
" Poor Alice ! " was all the latter could
articulate through his sobs. Instinctive
ly the eyes of both men met, and their
souls stood side by tide.
The outside door . wjis started a little,
and suddenly flew open. With the rush
of air came the rush of water. The door
behiud gave way, and the living, tho
dead, and the dying were hauled out to
ward the workiug shaft. The bodies of
all in the inner tunnel must have caught
in the outer door. Only l'atsy Hurley's
came out witb tne rush of water.. Two
of the men seized his body, and the
whole party hurried up the ladder to the
Then, and only 'Son, had the two
men an fr inni i pause and reflect
that bohiii.. tln-ni, ixiieath the water
that boiled and seethed in the dim light
of the tunnel, were tho bodies of their
dead comrades and the brave Superintendent.
PART III.—THE END.
Professional business called me to
Brooklyn tho day of the accident, anil
when I returned to the tenement house
In Avenue A, tiiey were making prepa
rations to wake poor l'atsy Jiorluy'i
Ho was terribly crushed and mangled
by the rapid rush of water, and only
lived two hours after he was taken out
of tho shaft. Ho was conscious, and his
fellow workmen carried him tenderly
homo, Teddy following, weoping
bitterly. They laid the wounded man
upon the bed. and a doctor ministered
to his sufferings. Thewailsof the poor
mother were heart-rending. Paty had
been lying with his eyes closed, but he
finally opened them and aiked for
Tcdd . The brother knelt by the bedside
and great sobs shook his frame.
"Itaa nion, Teddy," whispered Patsy.
" Sind for Alice and tho praiste!"
When the little shirt-maker was led
weeping into the room, l'atsy inked that
they bo left alone, and over that last
interview let us draw a veil. Finaljy
some one stole into the room and found
them clasped in each other's arms.
Patsy was sinking fast, and the priest
approached the bedside and adminis
tered to him the last rites of the church.
Then the dying man was propped up in
bed. Ho called Teddy and Alice to the
bedside and made them Join handa.
" I'm a dead mon," fie said huskily.
"Promish me, both of j-ccz, that ye'U
be thrue to aich other!"
Both bowed thoir heads. He beckoned
for the priest and whispered a few words
in ms ear.
A smile of thankfulness beautified the
homely fin e of Patsy as the laM words
of the impressive service fell from the
priest's lips, and stretching out his hands
he died before any could reach him. JJe
tnM Free Frcin.
Somkiiohv got at Mr. Brick's lunch
can awhile ago and boiled onions in it,
and as he can't endure that vegetable
he got tho notion that he never could
get the taste out of the can and so he
threw it away. Mr. Brick is a baggage
master on a train, nnd he had the can
niudo for hiin and his address put upon
it. When he got back from work the
day he threw tho can away ho found
that one of the neighbor's children hud
picked it up and roturncd it. Ho appre
ciated the kindness of the child, but
took the can and chucked it into anoth
er neighbor's garden. In half an hour
that neighbor sent it home. Then he
determined to get rid of it any how, and
took it to the depot the next day and
throw it into the freight yard. Then he
went into the depot tor a minute, and
on returning to his car found some one
had picked up the can and left it for
him. Quite exasperated, he chucked it
into an empty car that was just being
hauled away toward Chicago, and he
didn't seo "it again till the noxt day,
when it arrived in an express package
on which ho had to pay 75 cents. Then
he swore prodigiously and tied it to a
dog's tail "and tho dog skun off with it,
and this was an unlucky move, for half
an hour later the dog's owner brought
the can back and tried to thrash Mr.
Brick for abusing his dog, tho result bo
mg arrests and linos. Then Brick was
thoroughly aroused, and he took the can
and sunk it off a dock. The next day
when he entered his car, there stood
something done up in a paper that he
knew to bo his can, and he kicked it six
ty foot into the air and had to pay 930
for tho valuablo bird in the onge. Then
ho felt sure that he was rid of the thing,
but a diver happened to find it and got
thumped on the hoad for returning it.
Then Brick took the can home ana at
night filled it with dynamite and ex-
Eloded it. The people in the nolghbor
ood, who wore violontly hurled from
their beds by the shock, were quite in
dignant, and when they found out what
caused it they attempted to tar and
feather Brick, and he hail to pay a heap
for repairing the windows wrecked.
And to add to his horror, he found he
had taken, instead of the can he detested,
a new one, and he was about wild, and
concluded that ho novor should get rid
of the thing. But one day he induced
some one to borrow it, and lie has never
seen it since. Huston 1'ost.
The Colorado Woodsman.
The least known of Colorado charac
ters is the woodsman. Now and then
ho makes his presence evident by acts
like ono of last winter, when, mustering
160 of his comrades, he rode at night to
Golden, took the Hayward murderers
from tho jail, and left them hanging to
a convenient bridge ; but he soon re
lapses into his former obscurity. His
individuality is as genuine as that of
the cattle man or miner, from whose
ranks his are often, for various reasons,
recruited. Dense growths of pine cov
ered, and in many places still cover, the
greater part of the mountains. Hero
the lumber mills were placed, and here
tho woodcutter made h home in de
fiance of law. Tho treatment of timber
lands can hardly be regarded as suc
cessful in this part of the world. No
man could legally cut wood or secure
title to his claim if he settled on this
land. It lay there, the paradise of
squatters, the secure abode of lawless
ness. Government not being willing to
sell it or give it away, the sovereign
people took the matter into their own
hands. Needing wood, they took it, and
if a valuable piece was "jumped " some
one might count on being shot. Occa
sionally an over-zealons supporter of
Government or the railroad companies
would prosecute the offenders, thirty or
fifty at a time, for violation of the tim
ber laws. No jury was ever found to
convict these men, and, on their re
lease, they took care to muko things so
hot for the informer that he lett the
country or kept silence for the future.
Had tho lands been offered for sale
they would have found ready purchasers,
but tho plan of withholding them has
led to much careless destruction of their
Tho woodsman's wants are few. His
log cabin is built in a few days, a big
fireplace saves the expense of a stove, a
few boards' nailed to the wall make a
bedstead, boxes take the place of furni
ture, and two ot three shelves support
the kitchen implements. When ho has
all these ho considers himself a man oi
jiropcrty, and entitled to look for a wife.
N. r. Sun.
A PAin were married at Newport, R
I., recently, after an unbroken court
ship of thirty-live years. That is what
may be called a slow match. Boston
The druggist-whr. tdvortised "Eat
do Cologne water " piided himself or
PITH AND POINT.
A Nrw IUmi-mih Postmaster hs
been reprimanded for using leather
mi.il-bngs to catch rain-water in.
Sar Bp.ltNHARirT hat ordered forty
seven different toilets for her American
engagement. American women who
don't know ft word of French will have
no difficulty In understanding them.
Ciru innnli C'mtnercuU.
Yoc may set It down as a settled fact
that the boy who doesn't feel like break
ing the last pane of glass left in the
window of an old house will grow np to
be a milk-and-water mna.Letroit t ret
"fioon morning," . remarked two
frentlemen as they stepped up to the
ar. " Momin', gentlemen ; what'll It
be?" asked tho barkeeper. " Well, I'll
take a Han-coektail," snid one. "Give
me a ci-Gar-field," said the other. And
then they both laughed and said it was
a very good joke. Allxmi Journal.
MAsr a father's pride is shocked and
many a mother's heart bleeds a little as
their boy " up at grandpa's " writes his
little scrawl homo, "This is the bos
plao, I lik living hear better than to
home," and they inwardly vow never to
be harsh with the little fellow when he
comes back. Make home tho " boss "
place for your children, even If they
seem to bo " boss " of it. .Yew Ilm en
Evf.iit paper we take up tells us that
the Duchess of Edinburgh has hod the
measles. These king folks are bound to
have every thing that is going; that's
true enough, but they needn't be o all
fired stuck up aliout it. Guoss some of
us on this sidf tho water have had just
as good an article of measles as the
Duchess. NorriHtown IltraU.
The Concord philosophers in discus
sion havo tackled "History of Philoso
phy." After they get through with that
they will wrestle with "The Philosophy
of History." This will lead back to the
starting point. It was ever thus since
cats first chased their own tails in
search of information. N. O. Picmjune.
He was a great bore, and was talking
to a crowil about the coming local elec
tion. Said he, "Jones is a good man ;
he is capable, honest, fearless and con
scientious. He will make the very kind
of an olliccr we need here in Galveston.
He onco saved my life from drowning."
"Do you really want to see Jones elect
ed?" said a solemn-faced old man. "I
do indeed. I'd do any thing to see him
elected." " Then never let any body
know he saved your life." The meeting
then adjourned. Galveston Sties.
A North German Village.
TnE village of Y-
is only one of
tho thousands with which the country is
literally pejpcre't. It possesses most of
tho qualities, good, bad and otherwise,
which they share in common, at least in
this province. At a distance they are
picturesque; but if one desires to pre
serve one's illusions, one must not come
too near. They do look well in pic
turesrude cottages, filthy puddles and
all; but then artists can noti and would
not, paint the smell. This particular
village consists of a hundred or so small
cottages, built of rough stone, the old
thatched with straw, the new with tiles.
They are not unsightly in themselves,
especially in summer, nestling in -orchards,
'hedges and gardens, but their
surroundings are abominable. Before
each door is a huge dung-hill (nitf lie
sped zu nagcn), where hens and swine
dispute the territory, and evil-smelling
green puddles, where geese, ducks and
dirty children whose hair is bleached
white with exposure to the sun, paddle
together in placid bliss from morn till
dewy eve. So far from trying to keep
such necessary adjuncts of agricultural
life as dung-hills, etc., etc., out of sight,
as is our American custom, they are here
given the place d'honncur, and I fancy
the family pretensions to rank arc gauged
in accordance with the more or less rapid
accumulations of these manure heaps.
Old men and women, beyond more
active service, sit in the door-ways and
keep the feathered aud unfeathered
bipeds within bounds. Their faces are
brown and wrinkled, like dried pears,
their bodies bent and shriveled, but their
tongues wag vigorously, and they knit
incessantly, both sexes, upon coarse
woolen socks. There is no church at
Y , the people attending service at a
neighboring village. Tho dignitary of
the place seemed to be the school-master,
whose cottage was distinguishable
from the rest by an air of superior neat
ness and the presence of a pretty garden
full of well-cared-for flowers. Thore is
here, as in all villages, a green where
the peasants meet for recreation, wind
mills on every little hill-top, and a well
filled, dreary old churchyard, which for
barrenness would vie with any New
England country burying-ground. There
are no shops, not even a bakery, all pur
chases being made in the distant town.
A Strange Irish Disease.
Ot'B rest over, we prepared for our
beat round the hill sides, first, at the
earnest entreaty of one of our followers.
backed by Wheelan, plucing a piece of
oread in our pockets. "jNever mind,
sure your honor might want it ngen the
'four gurtho,' " explained the man. The
" feur gurtho " is by no means an im
aginary complaint. When walking in
the mountains the strongest man is lia
able to its attuck. The person unlucky
enough to fall under its influence be
comes suddenly faint and nnable to
walk. One mouthful of food restores
his strength at once. If no food is taken
he dies in a few hours. Tho person at
tacked may not have been hungry at
the time: he may have eaten but a short
time before; but if he is seized with the
faintness he must eat or die. I know
one man whoso life was saved by find
ing in his pocket a few crumbs of oaten
cake. The name Is composed of two
Irish words tur, gross, and gurth,
hunger; the country people believing
that the complaint is induced by walk
ing on an unknown plant to which they
give the name hungry-grass. St. James
Rapid Courtship at Saratoga.
A roi'NO gentleman from New York
saw a certain young lady at ono of
Lothian's morning concerts and fell des
perately in love with her; he sought
her name, and subsequently an intro
duction, courted her diligently for two
days, and upon the third was able to in
troduce her as his affianced wife. The
gentleman is very fine-looking, but
comparatively poor, while the lady is
really one of the handsomest that has
beeu seen here this summer, and, be
sides being the child of very wealthy
parents, is said to be as modest and
amiable as she is beautiful. The lady
also resides in New Y'ork and has been
summering with her parents at the
Grand Union, but her lover's finances
compelled him to take a less pretentious
place, and he is a guest at one of the
smaller hotels. We are in possession
of the names of the parties, but are re
quested not to make them public
Our Young Folks.
THE UNINVITED GUEST.
M'iIIv. put th'- k"!!n on,
M'.IIV. put Mil- hettlfon,
MullV. pill the k'-tll" Oil
. We 11 nil titke I4u."
Thus sanir the cheerful mother of the
Donald family, as she set the kettle of
potatoes over the fire to boil for break
fast. The kettle was a tight fit for so
many potatoes, and Bonny, looking on
with interest from his high chair by the
" Full, mnmma; ain't It?"
" Yes, laddie, full as it can bold lust
like our house."
How it spatters and boils over.
'And our house spatters and bolls
over with us, too, wee one."
Sure enough the Donald doren did
live in such asmall tenement that it was
a puzzle how they ever could all get
packed into it at once.
But then early in tho morning tho
father went out to his work; Alee fol
lowed to the shop, Je inii) to the store,
Niokie to sell morning papers, some to
school and some to do errands, till
Bonny nnd the bnhy would bo left
alone with tho mother. .Then, shutting
the door after the last, she would say:
"Do you see how they all boil away,
Bonny?'' and she would sin? merrily as
she scrubbed, swept and cooked.
nne did not sing so oltcn alter latlier
Donald fell one day and broke a leg.
Nor did she fill the kettle of potatoes as
full either after that. Mr. Donald lay
helpless, and worried about the place he
feared he should lose.
' But I've worked for the house till
it seems I could not work anywhere
e!so. If they'd only promise to let
me back again when I'm able, I'd
bear the rest with an ea-y mind," said
the sick man, getting fevered and
"Lad, I can't have you fret so," spoke
his wife at lust. She took down her
bonnet aud shawl. "I'll go and ask
the master myself. I don't believe he'll
refuse a woman, and you such a faith
ful hand. Bonny is so good he won't be
any trouble to you, aud I'll take the
So lonny climbed up by the window,
snd watched his mother and the baby
"boil awry"' like the rest.
'i hen Bonny played by himself a long
while, it seemed to him. He built a
a church tower with his blocks, like the
tower he could see shooting up Rbove
the low roofs. He changed the blocks
into street cars, and dragged them up
and down the wiudow-sill. iie thumbed
his torn jiicture-books: he thumped his
rag doll, i.ettinif tired oi all, he Hat
tened his dear little soft nose against
the pane, watching the- people tramp,
tramping by on the brick sidewalks,
nnd the carts, drays, carriages, that
clamp, clamped over the stony street.
He liked this, and crooned over to him
self, contentedly, tunes that were no
tunes, and words that he made up as he
But time went on, and still his mother
did not come. B iimy grew hungry,
and crept down to ask papa about it.
Papa was lying quiet and brwathing
heavily. Bonny had fairly sung his fa
ther to sleep.
It occurred to Bonny, as he tiptoed
back, that there couid be no good rea
son wli- he should not go and lind his
mother, or else Jeanie, or Nickie, or
Teds Jennie's old red cape hung in the
corner: quickly he threw it ovei his yel
low head, and holding it fast under his
chin with one hand, ho lifted the latch
and stepped fonh.
Ho walked slowly and thoughtfully
off in the direction he had seen his
mother take, with short, nipping steps,
like a meditative chickabiddy's. He
had not a doubt that he should come to
some member of his numerous family
before long, but meanwhile he was
thinking fr.s of that than of the sights
by tho way. Two boys were racing
velocipedes. To Bonny that was a
" I wist 1 had a velehorsipede," he
whispered, with a pensive air.
On nnd on he plodded, blissfully be
wildered, absorlied in these enchanting
visions, until he found himself before a
caterer's show window, tempting with
crisp loaves of bread, daintily frosted
cakes, and unspeakable cookies, tarts,
" Oh my! oh my!" cried Bonny, be
ginning at lost to remember that be was
nobody but a little hungry boy, "'I'm
hungry I'm so hungry!"
While he stared with all his longing
eyes, he heard these words spoken loud
ly right by his side, " Come on then;
we shall be sure of a good dinner."
Bonny turned round. Two men in
tall black hats were striding by, and
one, as he spoko, clapped the other on
the shoulder. The invitation was not
meant for Bonny at all. But that did
not mako any ditl'erenee to him. He
simply received the idea that if he fol
lowed these two men he should get to
a dinner. So he pressed sturdily after
them. He had to walk fast, and some
times ho almost lost sight of thein in
the throng. But Bonny was so hungry
by this time thnt ho was very much in
earnest. Ho did not stop to watch the
people, nor to look into any more shop
It was really not long before the two
tall hats were seen turning up some
low, broad steps. Tho panting Bonny,
tugging after, followed unnoticed
through a wide doir into a vast hall, all
paved with marble. Quite confused
and out of breath; Bonny suddenly
stood still. Where he had lost sight of
the two tall hats and the wearers of
them he did not know.
"Seems liko another out-doors," the
child thought, looking up at tho high
ceiling; ' but Where's the dinner?
There is a dinner; I smell it; it smells
good. Seems to me 1 never did smell
so much dinner in my life."
By this time ho also became aware of
a cheerful clatter of dishes and voices:
and following the sound across the
wide hall, he pushed open a great door
that stood half ajar.
Sure enough, there before him lay
table after table, adorned with spotless
linen, and spread temptingly not only
with flowers and fruit, but with plenty
How should little Bonny know that
this was the dav when tho grand new
Metropolis Hotel first opened to the
public? How should ho know that here
wore all the mighty men of tho city
merchants, editors, ministers even
with their wives, met together by invi
tation to celebrate the dedication din
nerP You see, they had not invitod
Bonny: nobody expected him; so at
first nobody noticed him as ho slipped
The tables seemed so full of people
that Bouny hud to wulk up tho room to
find a place. A queer hush fell on the
clatter and the chatter. People dropped
their forks. Thoy watched this little
figure with the sunny hair, tho happy
face, the shabby shoes, tho tumbled
check apron, that dragged after it the
well nigh forgotten red cape, and nt
last mounting into an empty chair,
said, with a sigh of satisfaction, ami in
a very clear vo.c.i, "1 want Uiiitier,
Bonny glanced round him. Il(
thought exerybod lookel pleased, and
catching the eye of a lady who bent to
ward him, he smiled bock a shy, friend
This lady was tho first to speak to
him. Sho crossed eagerly over and
said, "May I sit beside you, dear? I
knew a little boy once with yellow hair
Bonny never noticed that sho hait
tears In her soft eyes now.
" I liko your hair best," he answerod,
hnlf timidly, half frankly. The lady'si
hair was very dark, and she wore in its
a splendid yellow flower.
" But, please, I am so hungry! May
I have dinner?"
Before the lady could answer, a stout
gentleman enme hurrying up.
" Well, well, let's seo about this," ha
began, in a rollicking tone. "Shako
hands, little stranger. So you came to
my dinner, did you?"
Bonny dropped his head. He wa
rather afraid of the loud-voleed man;
but the lady whom ho was not afraid
of said, re-assuringly. "This is the
man who gives tho dinner, little one;
this is his house; he'll bo very good to
you, never fear."
So Bonny looked tip then, nnd re
plied, simply. "I came; I was hungry,
and I came."
The host cleared his throat, and said,
heartily, while ho patted Bonny's curls.
"Well, I didn't expect you, that's a
fact; but we'll give you just as good a
dinner, for all that. A dinner? I'll
warrant you we will: and upon my
word, ladies and gentlemen, I rather
think the Metropolis Hotel is honored
to have the chance.''
Never, never had Bonny imagined
such a dinner as ho ate that day. " Tho
lady who sat bv his side cut up the)
chicken, and helped him choose among
the lavish dainties that the host kept
insisting on having brought for hiin to
Hungry? It seemed to Bonny that ha
never in this world could be hungry
His innocent heart ran over, and he
told his new friend, the lady, all she '
asked him about his sick father, his
tired mother, the little tenement that
was like the kettle that all boiled away,
and the big family that crammed it so
full when gathered together. But one
thing neither the lady, nor her husband,
who tilled Bonny's pocket wilii pennies,
nor t lie host, could succeed in finding
out from him.
This was where the little fellow be
longed, and how to return him to his
Street and number he knew naught
flbout. What was his name? "Bouny
Laddie." His father's name? "Oh,
John." What kind of work did his
father do? "Oh. nothing: father is
sick." He had no clear ideas associated
with any calling except with Nickie's,
as they found by questioning.
That Nickie peddled papers, and that
Bonny would when he was bigger, he
was very positive aboir..
"Well, then," suggested the host,
"we'll try the newsboys. We'll just
have Laddie standing by tho door
when they go past, anil maybe he can
pick out this brother of his from tho
The company sat for a long time round
the tables. Bonny kept still, listening
and wondering, though he understood
little of the speeches and the toasts.
Once all eyes were again turned to
A gentleman rose and said, " Ladies
and gentlemen, I beg to propose tho
health of the first guest of the Metrop
olis Hotel, who, though uninvited, has
given the patriarch of this palace the
privilege of entertaining an angel un
awares. ' '
But Bonny answered nothing to the
looks bent upon him. With one hand
full of nuts and bonbons, the other in
his heavy pocket, and a face of perfect
peace, the little guest of the Metrop
olis Hotel lav fast asleep in his chair.
He was rosily awake again by the
time the newsboys were crying out
their evening papers.
"Come and watch for Nickie,"
coaxed tho host; and with Bonny's
small, warm hand in his own he
stepped out on the broad granite slab
in front of the hotel.
"That isn't Nickie nor that nor
that," Bonpy kept saying at first.
"Oh, Nickie!" he shouted, suddenly;
and, plunging forth into the street,
tumbled against a small boy in big
trousers nnd an overgrown cap, whoso
bundle of papers looked niui:h fatter
than he did.
Astonished Nickie. who had not been
home since morning, could scarcely be
lieve his senses at first, as he stared at
his littlo brother through the dusk, the
fog, and the rain-drops that now began
to fall. However, he could answer all
the questions that Laddie had been un
able to satisfy, ami in a very short in
terval a carriage had been summoned,
tho host had stowed away in it a capa
cious basket hastily tilled with choice
remnants from the feast, and Bonny
Laddie was rolling toward his home in
charge of tho geutle strauger lady and
The stranger lady, promising Bonny
to come again, made hasto to go away,
but before going she had time to won
dor at something she saw. Why did
Bonny's tired but blithe-looking mother
give the lady's husband such a sad, al
most fearful, look? Why did he seem
confused, and going over to the sick
man, said, " I will reconsider that mat
ter, John. You may rest easy?"
Afterward she understood. When
John's master had that afternoon curt
ly refused Mrs. Donald's petition, and
let her go away disappointed and dis
tressed, hor patient waiting and her
earnest pleading having been in vain,
ho had considered himself right, from
the stand-point of his own interest.
But then he had known nothing of the)
clean, crowded household, and nothing
of this vellow-hairod laddie who re
minded him of another little yellow
haired laddie who had been taken from
liim. Ella M. Itaker, in Uarjer' 1'oumj
When poor General Sutter first mado
his momentous discovery on the batiksi
of the Sacramento many things that
have since happened would have ap
peared simply fabulous. Take this fur
example: There is a certain journal in
Paris called l.e Tribonkt. It was found
ed by a certain wealthy nobleman tho
Baron Harden-Hickey who has lately
been expelled from France for satiriz
ing the Government. Iho Baron
Harui'ii-Hickoy is the son of a man
onco known, being a poor California,
miner, as "Jack" Hickey; and "Jack"
Hickcv's firstborn, who originally
drew breath in San Francisco, is iden
tical with the rich, journalistic and ex
iled Baron of to-day. There are, after
all, adventures in tho real world almost
as wonderful as those of that famous;
nobleman of Montu-Christo in the
world of romance only, strangely
enough, they aim ist always appear to
us mure amazing in the latter sphere,
than in the former.