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EDITORIAL AND MAGAZINE PAGE
EL PASO HERALD
Established April, 1881. The El Paso Herald Includes also, by absorption and
succession. The Dally News, The Telegraph. The Telegram, The Tribune.
Tne Graphic, The Sun, The Advertiser, The Independent,
The Journal, The Republican. The Bulletin.
MEMBER. ASSOCIATED PRESS AND AMER. SBWSP. PUBLISHERS' ASSOC.
Entered at the El Paso Postoffice for Transmission at Second Class Bates.
Dedicated to the service of the people, that no good cause shall lack a cham
pion, and that evil shall not thrive unopposed.
Business Office " 115 1115
Editorial Rooms 2020 2020
Society Reporter i....1019 --
Advertising- department 116
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Dally Herald, per month. 60c; per .year, $7. Weekly Herald, per year, $2.
The Daily Herald Is delivered by carriers in El Paso. East El Paso, Port
Bliss and Towne, Texas, and Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, at 60 cents, a month.
A subscriber desiring the address on his paper changed will please state
in his communication bath the old and the new address.
Subscribers failing- to get The Herald promptly should call at the office or
telephone No. 115 before 6:30 p. m. All complaints will receive prompt attention.
The Herald ba3es
all adverti sing
contracts on &
more than twice
the circulation of
any other El
New Mexico or
"west Texas pa
per. Daily -average
July 1903, 10,062.
y y f ww I' -V 1411Vf911
O m t. ? &?
k Afvdc-riearc has examined and certified to
y the circulation of this publkahoa. The detail
L report of such examination i on file at the
C N YrV offvii of the Association. No
r other figures of circulahon guaranteed.
I n 97
i i r i in rfi
Time To Protect
THE presidential message, sent to congress today urging "better laws for the
conservation of national resources, is most timely, and congress should
take the advice of the president and at once enact into law the suggestions
that he makes.
It is timely that Mr. Pinchot makes public his statement at the same time as
the president's message. Both are unanimous in the declaration that the country
is in danger of losing many of its valued resources through theft by predatory
interests, and that better laws are needed. Conservation seems one subject on
which "insurgents," "regulars," and Democrats alike can take the same stand,
and the chances for a new law ought to be good. No Harm can come through
the further enactment of laws for the further protection of the natural resources
of the country and great harm can come through delay.
There is no excuse for delay and the congressman who hesitates to vote for
measures such as the-president recommends and Mr. Pinchot declares necessary,
will have a hard time to explain bis position in a satisfactory manner to his con
stituents. The public lands, and the timber and mineral resources of the country have
been wasted and stolen long enough. It is time to put a stop to it
Saving a dentistry bill: Calling a prize fighter a liar.
Auto suggestion: The best girl's hint for "a joy ride.
Blister steel is made by carburizing wrought iron by heating it in contact
with carbonaceous matter. Anybody ougbt to understand this explanation.
At Bendigo, Australia, the deepest gold mining in the world is being carried
on, some shafts going down nearly 4500 feet, says Mining Science.
Oxygen and water must be in contact with each other in order for rust to
form. Iron will not rust in dry air, nor will it rust in water unless oxygen be
present. Keep your iron dry.
Says a scientist: "The wetted perimeter of the cross-section of a channel
is that part of its boundary that is in contact with the water. The hydraulic
radius of a water cross-section is its area divided by its wetted perimeter." Just
The woman who called up on the phone and shouted "give me the fire de
partment, quick," must have been surprised when on getting connection, they
told her they had nothing to do with firing cooks.
JUDGE EYLAR is right Nothing will do the county any more good than 50
miles of well built roads. Good roads and good streets are the best ad
vertisement a city or community could have. Skyscrapers follow paved
streets, and prosperous farms follow good roads.
An unprogressive community cannot expect to attract progressive people
with capital. The farmer who cannot get to his home with ease and in comfort
and who cannot market his products with equal facility, is not going to invest his
money; likewise the business man or merchant is not going to build a big business
tilock while the streets are mudholes.
El Paso began to take the most rapid forward step in her history immediately
fallowing the beginning of street paving, and, as the paving has progressed, the
Improvement work has kept on apace. The construction of good county roads is
going to be followed by the building of handsome ranch homes throughout the
valley and the general improvement of ranches and farms.
The spirit of progress is contagious and when a community sets the pace in
its municipal and county expenditures, the citizens soon get the habit and then
all advance together. "We can't have too many paved streets and improved
Racetrack gambling is a good thing for the bookies.
Money talks. That is- probably why so many bribers get caught.
The season's ice crop is large, in keeping with the wheat crop, the corn crop,
and the potton crop of the past summer. Winter is not going to be outdone.
When a young man gets the street car habit with his best girl, it is a safe
bet that he has started a matrimonial account with the bank, and has an eye on
& furniture store window.
Boost El Paso. If you don't think it is worth boosting, don't stay. Any
community is better off without the man who cannot boost.
If you lose anything in a theater, don't worry. Somebody will find it. If it
is the janitor, you will get it back; if it is somebody else, maybe you will.
. . o
When a man acquires an automobile, he also acquires an additional vocabulary
but we wont repeat any of it. This is a family paper.
If you like a show, don't tell anybody about 'it: If you don't like it, tell
everybody. The manager will then like you.
Again the woman is to. blame; that Philadelphia waiter had nothing to do
with the elopement but just elope; the girl did it alL When will man ever be
to blame for any of the sins of the world?
: o '
Although a Mexican flag hangs from one of the goosenecks in the rear of
the city ball, the land does not belong to Mexico.
Freight elevators in the middle of the sidewalk are a nuisance, and should
be removed, where there is an alley bandy. . t
With a pug at the head of the San Francisco police department, Billy Smith's
hopes are raised, for Billy used to be a prizefighter.
We have monoplanes, gyroplanes, biplanes, aeroplanes, .multiplanes, and a lot
of other planes, all of which fly in the air (or do not, whichever the case may be)
but what is the difference between them all, is what the average person wants
The cow that jumped over the moon was not in it as an aviator with the
steer .that goes to market these days. Prices are certainly soaring and the man
who likes a tender steak or a juicy roast has to have the right sort of a pocket-book.
to subscribe for
The Herald should
beware of Impor
ters and should
not pay money to
anyone unless he
can show that he
is legally author
ized to receive it.
"E labored on the railway track; his task would break a horse's back; he
tugged at tihings that weighed a ton, and all the time the summer sun, blaz
eddown and cooked 'him where he toiled, an! still he worked, though fried
and broiled. I grieved for this poor section man, who drank warm water xrom a
can, and ate rye bread and greenish cheese, and had big
blisters on his knees. "Ods, fish!" quoth I, "when day is
where you're off," the toiler said; "I'm in no rush to go
to bed;" you must be talking in a trance tonight I'm go
ing to a dance!" "Gadzooks!" thought I, "and eke ods blood! My tears have
streamed a brinj-- flood, because of all the cares and woes the horny-handed toiler
knows! And it would seem, from what I learn, that he has fun, and some to burn.
Gadzooks again! It secmeth plain, that weeping in this world is vain!"
Capyrlght, 1909. by Cfeorge .Matthews
"Washington, D. C, Jan. 14. The state
of Indiana is destined to be in the lime
light in the United States senate at this
session of congress. For some time sen
ator A. J. Beveridge, of the Hoosier
state, has occupied one of the choice
seats on the Republican side. It is on
the center aisle and whenever the boy
orator of the senate desires to speak he
can be seen by every spectator in the j other senators, most of them old in ser
galleries. vice, and all of them indignant at the
Senator Shively, the colleague of sen
ator Beveridge, is a Democrat, and one
of the new arrivals In the senate. Like
all new senators, Mr. Shively had to
take an undesirable seat. Being jinxious
to have the Democratic party in his
state take quite as prominent a part in
the senate proceedings the senator
chafed at the thought that Beveridge was
in a position to get all of the spotlight,
while he must be content to speak from
Now the difficulty has been eliminat
ed. Senator Shively has stolen a march
on his Democratic colleagues and inci
dentally he has a more desirable seat
than Beveridge. He got it by being on
the job bright and early.
Senator McLaurin, of Mississippi, who
died recently, had the most desirable
seat on the Democratic side. It was
in the first row on the center aisle, and
directly In front of the vice president's
desk. The morning after McLaurin's
death Shively hustled Into secretary
Bennett's office before the clerk had
finished dusting off their desks.
"I want McLaurin's desk," said Shive
ly. in a breathless sort of way, that
Indicated that he had run from the
street car into the capitol building.
"All right." replied Mr. Bennett,
"take it. First come first served In
this office. The others would have to
(From The Herald of this date, lr36)
U Years Ago To"
BOB FITZSIHMONS GIVES ' Cl3-V
EXHIBITION IN JUAREZ
At the meeting of the county com
missioners this morning, a protest was
filed by the citizens of Ysleta against
the action alleged to have been con
templated in denying the school trus
tees of thait district the right to take
Superintendent Carr reported that last
year 36 paupers were taken care of at
the county poor farm, the cost being
20 cents per capita daily.
Bills amounting to $2000 were audit
ed. The application of Mr. Flores for
the position of -translator of the old
Spanish records at a salary of $250 was
denied, judge F. E. Hunter stating that
they had been needed only twice in the
past 13- years.
A Chinaman, en route from St. Louis
to San Francisco, was taken from an S.
P. train today by local immigration of
ficers and charged with being an illegal
resident of the conntrj'.
"Robert Downing and company ap
peared last night In a version of "He
lena," by "Victorlen Sardou, and pleased
a full house at Chopin hall.
The El Paso Real Estate association
will meet tomorrow afternoon In the
office of A. P. Coles.
From Globe (Ariz.) Silver Belt.
The voice is the voice of Pinchot, but
the hand is . But Is it? Aye, there's
GET IT RIGHT.
From Columbus (N, M.) News.
It is better to not get it at all than
to not get it right. A sane state with
a sane constitution in 12 months looks
good to us.
MORE DAY TO WORK HARDER.
From Obar (N. M.) Progress.
Have you noticed that the days are
growing just a little longer all the
time? However, it won't take that 90
day note a minute longer to come due.
So, what's the good, after all?
VOICE FROM ARIZONA.
From Tombstone (Ariz.) Prospector.
Arizona offers a wonderful chance to
the settler who is willing to work, and
no section of the territory has a better
present nor brighter agricultural future
than Cochise county.
OXE VIEW OF IT.
From Tempe (Ariz ) News.
The land and timber thieves of the
country will have easier sailing, now
that president Taft has kindlv removed
Mr. Pinchot, the chief forester, and the
' Denatured Poem
dead, methinks you straightway go to bed, too labor-worn
to heave a sigh, as wounded soldiers -go to die." "That's
get up before breakfast to beat you
on this proposition."
Shively had barely taken possession
of the keys to the much coveted desk
when senator Chamberlain, of Oregon,
arrived. He, too, wanted the McLaurin i
desk, but the unwritten law of the sen
ate says the first man to file in a va
cant desk sets it. Then followed a dozen
thought that a new member had the
temerity to claim a desk which has al
ways been used by a veteran.
Arrangements have been practically
completed for two great conventions
which are to be held in "Washington
during the latter part of this month,
the conference of governors and Na
tional Civic federation. President Taft
has promised to speak at each conven
tion. Business men representing nearly
every Industry of importance, and leg
islators from all parts of the country
have agreed to participate In one or
both of the conventions. If the pro
grams are adhered to the two conven
tions, which plan to work in harmony,
will discuss every subject which could
possibly be of interest to the American
The governors' conference will be held
Jan. 18, 19 and 20, and the civic fed
eration will be in session Jan. 17, 18
and 19. The delegates to the civic fed
eration conference are appointed by tne
governors and by the presidents of com
mercial, agricultural, manufacturing,
labor, financial, professional, and otner
organizations national in extent- The
National Association of Uniform State
Daw Commissioners are Included in all
state delegations and will take a promi
nent part in the conference.
Twentyfour vags were arrested by the
police last night, but instead of being
held- until this evening's session of the J
police court, they were run out of town
Secretary Dunham, of the Y. M. C.
A., lectured last night on the growth
of the Texas Y. M- C. A
S-H. Newman, a former business man
of El Paso, is down from Albuquerque,
N. M., on business.
The newly elected officers for Border
lodge. No. 374, I. O. O. F., will be In
The last ore transfer from the other
side was nearly 60 cars. Heavy ship
ments are being received by the Mexican
Ure company from Nogales.
W. K. Wheelock opened an office In
the Shelton block this morning to at
tend to the carnival business.
Fitzsimmon is giving an exhibition
to a number of El Paso friends at his
quarters In Juarez this afternoon.
Gov. TV. T. Thornton, of New Mexico,
who is in the city, said this morning
that Fitzsimmons and Maher would not
be permitted to fight in New Mexico.
Metal market Silver, 67 1-Sc; lead,
$2.90; copper, S 7-Sc; Mexican pesos, 54c.
trSsbStaCle lD the ay 0f the srabblng
From Albuquerque Tribune Citizen.
Hoboken, N. J., UOVr has a Democratic
mayorfor the first time In 26 years,
i on can expect anything of Hoboken.
El Paso Herald.
Even wicked old New Jersey fis tir
lns of he "splendid financial man
agement party. The end seemeth near.
SOMETHING TO THAT.
From Columbus (N. M.) News.
roThe EI Paso bluecoats have made
oj arrests during the last yeaf, and
tne city has collected $10,360, but for
rear of being accused by the El Paso
papers of "trying to get funny," the
fevTs llas no comment to offer, only
that El Paso must not be so "easy to
get out of," after all.
PRESIDEXT WITn STANDPATTERS.
From Douglas (Ariz.) International.
The political pot is boiling with much
heat in the national capital over the de
position of chief forester Gifford Pin
chot by the president. Thiy incident
promises to widen the breach between
the standpatters and the insurgents, and
it has placed the president squarely in
Hie ranKS Of tllP 5,fmir1n?ftorc lnrl Kir
Cannon, Payne and others.
Birthday Anniversary of Discoverer
THE astronomical world will pause
today in its study of the ap
proaching comet to pay a mental
tribute to the man whose name it
bears, for It was on the 14th of Janu
ary, 1742, that Halley died. After he
hadrecognized the comet, and predicted
Its return in 1758. he said that he
would not live to see it return, but
that he hoped an impartial posterity
would do him the justice to remember
that he had forecasted its reappearance.
For the third time since then it is now
coming toward us, and for the third
time the world will unite in honoring
Halley for his astounding knowledge In
predicting its movements.
Edmund Halley was the son of an
English soap-boiler, and first saw the
light of day in 1656. He was a mathe
matician from his cradle. The study
of the universe of worlds was second
nature to him, and by the time he was
20 when the most serious thing the
average boy thinks about is sweet
hearts he published a paper on the or
bits of the principal planets, and had
studied a sun-spot so intently that he
was able to deduce from his studies
the fact that the sun rotates around its
axis the same as the earth.
Begran His Studies Early.
By the time Halley was 22 he had
completed a visit to St. Helena, where
he made a map of the southern half of
the heavens. He was only 24 years of
age when he made his memorable tour
of Europe, the result of which was his
prediction that the comet which bears
his name would return on schedule
time. He was the first man in astro
nomical history who so far mastered
the movements of a comet as to be able
to say whither it went or whence it
should return. It was he, also, w;ho
led the astronomers to observe the
transits of Venus, in order to establish
the sun's parallax. Upon the determin
ation of the parallax of the sun has
depended more astronomical knowledge
than any other one thing.
Halley became the royal astronomer
of England in 1720, and continued In
that office until his death. One of the
most interesting coincidences in the
whole history of astronomy and mathe
matics was the fact that he and New
ton, working upon entirely independent
lines, had both undertaken to prove
that the centripedal force in the uni
verse was one varying Inversely as the
square of the distance. "When he vis
ited Newton for the purpose of enlist
ing his aid in finally determining the
truth of his conclusions, he found that
the discoverer of the law of gravity had
mapped out the same conjecture and
had taken ithe same means to prove It.
Poor Sailor; Good Mathematician.
There Is abundant evidence that
Halley was a much better astronomer
and mathematician than he was a
sailor., In 1692 he had' perfected a
theory relative to the variation of the
magnetic needle. Later he was given a
ship and sent into the western seas to
make the observations necessary to the
confirmation or refutation of his
theory. His crew mutinied, and he had
to put back to England with his work
unfinished. But he .tried again and his
second trip was successful.
But while his life was an unbroken
record of things accomplished, his name
will be perpetuated more through the
periodic return of his comet than
through all the other things he did.
Think of it! A man still too young to
be eligible to a seat in the United
States senate, taking into his mental
grasp a wandering object in space
which goes more than three thousand
million miles away from the sun, lay
ing out its course as a civil engineer
might lay out a mile race-track, and
foretelling Its return with almost as
much accuracy as one might forecast
the return of a friend who had gone
away on a holiday vacation. To accom
plish this he had to approximate Its
speed, its direction, the distance it had
to travel, the shape of its orbit, a dozen
things which even now are beyond the
grasp of the 4ay mind.
This Comet a Traveler.
The mind cannot conceive of how far
Halley's comet has traveled in ithe three
quarters of a century since it last
looked down upon the earth. During
all these years it has been reeling off
,listance at the rate of more than 76,
000,000 miles a month, or 2,500,000 miles
a day, with never a stop for breath.
It "left us so far behind In space that
the little distance of 14,000,000 miles
which will separate it from us in May
seems no more than a step across lots
to see a nextdoor neighbor".
Assuming that there is the same pro
portion of people over SO living today
as there was in 1900, and that every
person who was 5 years old when the
comet last appeared can remember it,
there will be about 300,000 people- in
the United States who will be able to
say that they have seen Halley's comet
twice. The last time it was visible An-
(All communications must bear the
signature of the writer, but the. naroa
will not be published yhere such o
request Is made.)
THE SALOON MAN AND JUSTICE.
El Paso, Tex., Jan". 13.
Editor El Paso Herald:
To the Pastors' Union begging them
to request the mayor to close the sa
loons on Christmas. It is a sin and an in
sult to God and his Son to turn the ho
liest of holy days .into one revelry and
debauchery. Is this a Christian nation
that sits idly by without one word of
Why,' oh why, are some people so- Im
mune and others so susceptible to ar
rest and conviction? TJiie. saloon man
breaks and "defies the, laww and escapes
scot free, while some-poor fellow steals
a loaf of bread or a few toys for his
children for Christmas, and gets a year
or two in the penitentiary. Verily, justice
is a hollow mockery.
MORE MONEY RECEH ED
4. FOR ''LITTLE MINNIE."
y Three additional contributions
4 have been received for "Little Min-
4 nie." 4
4 They include $5 4 from a man at 4
fr Gila Farm, N. M., who does not
4 wish his name used, and $1 each 4"
4 from Mary Fleming Jones and Mc-
4r Bride Fleming Jones, of Las Cru-
ces. This brings the total amount 4
4 collected by The Herold for "Lit-
4 tie Minnie" up to $194.81. The Her- 4.
4 aid having previously acknowl- 4
edged 51S7.S1. 4"
of Tramp Comet.
drew Jackson was president of the
United States, and in the very thick
of his fight against the "money power."
It then turned back, and journeyed to
ward infinity until after the close of
the civil war, when, in the middle of
Grant's first term, it started back to
ward the earth at the same mad pace
that had characterized its going.
A Black Sheep Comet.
Each time one of these black sheep
of the celestial family, as the comets
have been called, appears to mortal
sight it is less bright than it jgas be
fore. As they fly through space the
solid matter they cast off pours over
them with the result that eachsucceed
ing return finds them less brilliant
Some of those with short circuits have
shown up as mere ghosts of their for
mer selves, and have finally failed to
return altogether. But about the time
they were due to return the earth
crossed their orbit and encountered a
meteoric shower, causing the scientists
to understand that meteors are but the
flying debris of an exploded comet.
May Be a Collision.
There has been some discussion as to
our chance of collision with this re
turning vagabond of space. That we
may graze Its head by a miss of only
about 13,000,000 miles Is predicted, and
that we may even pass through its tail
is said to be more than a bare possibil
ity. But as this tail is less substantial
than the best vacuum man has been
able to produce, there, seems to be little
possibility of serious damage even if
we do sail right through It. It Is re
corded that our grandfathers went
through the tail of a comet In 1819, and
that our fathers did the same thing in
Some astronomers -think we could col
lide with the very head ot, the comet
itself and still escape unscathed. Pro
fessor dickering thinks we have struck
at least one important comet, and that
It did no serious damage.
He thinks the great hole in the earth
at Coon Butte, Arizona, was made by
the core of a comet striking there. He
calls attention to the fact that there
have been 182 meteorites of iron found
in -the western hemisphere, as compared
with 79 on the eastern, and concludes
that inasmuch as they were most
abundant in the country contiguous to
Arizona, they are evidences of a col
lision in which the Coon Butte hole was
the principal damage sustained.
Many Meteorites Fall.
There were 292 meteorites observed to
fall in the nineteenth century, and only
12 of these were of Iron. Most astrono
mers believe that iron meteorites are of
cometary origin, while those of stone
are of terrestrial origin, having at some
remote time in history been hurled away
from the earth by some tremendous
cataclysm. It must have been a ter
rific explosion that sent them wander
ing through space, for it has been
proved by the scientists that if a ter
restrial object Is to get away from the
magnetism of the earth it must, have an
initial velocity of seven miles a second.
Of course the highest explosive known
has no suci tteirciJouo i'v. er. ft is
one of those things which have been
theoretically proved but not prac
Comets Have Different Gaits.
Comets have different gaits. Some
move a hundred miles a second, and
others loiter along at only ten to 20
miles a second. Some of them-have to
travel around such a vast orbit that
it takes them thousands of years
make the circuit. Some of them fly in
a straight line, perhaps, through un
ending years. It would take the k'nd
which travel a hundred miles a second
more than eight thousand years to reach
the nearest star.
2io men in an tne worm nave such a
sense of man's littleness as those who
are the sentinels on the astronomic
watchtowers. "We think we are some
thing, but they exclaim with a feeling
that David never knew, "What Is man
that Thou are mindful of him?" The
earth looksbig to the average mortal,
but the astronomers know that it is
smaller in proportion to the universe
than the tiniest germ that dwells in
They see one star so far away that al
though it travels 200 miles between
clock ticks in a thousand years it seems
to move only through the diameter of
three and a half moons. They know
that this whole mighty universe is
moving onward at the tremendous gait
of 26 miles a second, but .when it comes
to telling whether it is moving in a
circle or in a straight line, where the
end of the journey will be, or what the
source of the Infinite power that pro
pels it onward, they stand as helpless
and dumb as untutored children. They
must confess that there are realms In
God's universe where human reason
Tomorrow "The Statue of Lee."
3IORE SUGAR TRUST
New sYork, Jan. 14. The special
grand jury today returned indictments
against Charles L. Helke, secretary of
the American Sugar Refining company;
G. W. Gerbracht, J. R.. Bendernagel,
Henry W. Wilker, Jean M. Voelker and
James F. Halligan, employes.
Four counts charge false entries of
sugar products, and two counts allege
conspiracy to defraud the government
in weighing sugar imports.
Best pickles and olives at Ardoin's.
First Indian Fight Of
The Texas Rangers
,r J0"1' The Heral(1 wil1 P"nfc from the pen cf J. B Gillett of
tTJi ! 'i! S3 fr ghtnofh1
""". wv,.. m xa -g3.
surprise and how they spent their
V -T - ," Z i. V 7 aua ne tells & only of its formation
and its nrst mdmn fights, hut draws a vivid picture cf tie SS "
ti i"o cprrpn irirn rmc ivit-fnK t r
camp ana on t-ne march: what thev
compass. '""" """
just one of the .many features for The Greater Herald to-
Lahor VS. Canifnl
. in,?.- ! a .
-rt tt 1i"ei,awaS inon by ifcibbi
JLhe Herald tomorrow.
The other usual stron feature f tt,q TTm-u -n ? J
Tells Friend Wife That FlHae Will
Tickle T. R.
BY WALTER A. SINCLAIR.
bQO THE Academy of Moral and
jj Political Science has made Mr.
- Roosevelt a member?" said
Friend "Wife. "This says he will wear
a pearl handled swoxd and a plume."
"That ought to tickle him," said the
Tared Business Man. "The plume, I
mean, not the sword. You overlooked
the fact that he will also wear a suit
embroidered with green palms. I can't
eactly imagine a suit reminiscent of the
palmy days, but I should think it would
be a hit with the Back from Elba club.
"Just why a former resident of Oys
ter Bay, Long Island, should care to
lecture at the Sawbone In Paris rigged
out in in lodge joiner's regalia, con
sisting of potted palms, a plumed cap
and. a pearl handled sword, doesn't oc
cur to me at the moment. I'm baffled
when I try to figure out what a plume
In the cap has to do with a lecture,
although the tin sword might be to
point a moral or puncture a theory.
And the palms well, the palms are for
the purpose of applauding, of course.
Still, why "any one should go to Paris
"One famous American lives in his
tory, chiefly for the feat of wearing a
feather in his cap and called It mac
caronl. But when you pick a brawny,
two-fisted person like T. R., and tog
him out like the expired past potential
potentate of a secret order, it seems
inappropriate. Strikes me It would be
more to the point if they let him come
on as a North American Injun with a
bunch of plumes stuck in a plug hat.
a blanket covered with greasy palm
"DO A FUNNY FALL."
prints and. a Thomas Hawk in his hand.
I can guarantee it would draw an
"But to trim him up like a Christmas
tree with a pearl handled sword woof!
Didn't some unfriendly critics who went
to Cuba during the late shutzenfest
j send back harrowing stories of how, at
the great battle of San Juan (nee some
I other) Hill, our gallant colonel rode on
j foot up the hill, waving a sword in all
jthe pictures drawn a thousand mile3
j away, although he had left his toad
. stabber back in camp because he kept
j tripping over it? Of course I wasn't
there and can't guarantee this, but a
1 ilarge and talented corps of surviving
correspondents assures us that the
sword wjth which he waved his sturdy
society boys, bandits, football players.
i cattle rustlers and other rough riding
pedestrians to victory was as tangible
as the horse which he did not ride.
"Therefore why again subject him to
the embarrassment of wearing a sword?
It would be a fine piece of news for
Europe if our 'Man or Horseback", but
Dismounted,' should start out on the
stage of the Sawbone to ease off 'one of
those speeches which used to get the
agricultural districts chewing up the
railway stations, and there and then do
a funny fall over his pearl handled
"No more reason for scientists and
high browed speakers coming out to
speak a piece all fussed up with swords
than it would he for a soldier to carry
a set of scientific instruments, an ency
clopaedia and an absent minded look
into battle. ' The same goes for diplo
mats and officers of the navy. But
European diplomacy was handed down
from a time when your real classy 'dip
lo was the party who was quickest to
draw his steel common for a drop. Now
they wear swords because previous
generations did. The has-beens also
wore doublets and hose, but the mod
ern school overlooked those details."
"Weil, what would you have Mr.
Roosevelt carry if not a sword?" asked
Friend Wife, who was not thrown off
"He might carry a big "stick and
speak softly," sad the Tured 'Business
Copyright. 1910, by the New York
Evening Telegram (New York Herald
company). All rights reserved
COHEN, THE WAITER.
HELD FOR KIDNAPING.
Philadelphia. Pa., Jan. 14. Af
ter a brief hearing. today, Cohen,
the waiter, was committed to
the county prison without bail
for a further hearing two weeks
from today on a charge of kid
naping Elsie de Jauon.
: : : . .: a . . .?
-ur. umett, former citv marshal f
ate. haw ihai- fot- nyn-.i.z
evening. Vhev lTZT'
Prints It First!"