MtrWgjP******** 1 ***y**" "*••■■ '■ •■"■*•' |U*' Wii mfr^"_w ->?j*_a_ir ß
44 PAGE FOUR
-niini_irP-»^«M Office, Main 738, A 1733
; :fernllHrhc,r< *u,atlon DeP*- Main 733, a 1733
I IIUI.LUEdItorUI Dept., Main 794, -L 1783 ;
: '*'.;■ OFFICE— Commerce St.
Story About a Father's Son
??- Although it was his 25th birthday anniversary, Irving W.
Child-, of the New York City club, was right miserable a week or
, Bo ago. He expected to be paid $700,000 but the courts Interfered.
?. You see, when William Henry Chllds died, he left, amongst
other things, a son, Irving, and several millions of dollars. Irving
had been born with a silver ladle In his mouth and had never had
to do anything. He now went to doing things.
First he married a beautiful young girl. Beautiful young girls
. are about the first thing that rich young men So. Next, Irving,
having received $400,000 of his father's money, went to doing
things to $400,000. With her baby at her breast, Mrs. Irving
went into court and sued for alimony, on the ground that Irving had
seven chorus girls helping him do up that $400,000.
It seems that when boys are born rich, raised rich and left
rich about the only thing they can do success.fully is to spend money. I
They haven't earned money and hence don't know its value and
Often don't know what to do with it. Anyhow, in less than four
years, Irving got rid of $400,000 to gather and save which old man
Chllds had risked his soul, according to the Good Book.
So, although It was his 25th birthday anniversary, this 23rd
of March, 1911, Mr. Irving Chllds paced the rich floors of his New
York" club in much perturbation of mind. He had not been reared
to work. He had been reared to spend money. He had gambled
ln wine, gambled in chorus girls, gambled in Wall street, stocks.
He had "blown In" the $400,000 and lost his wife and child. What
was he to do, if the $700,000 didn't come to him under his father's
will on his 25th birthday? And it didn't! The courts tied it
up,' so that his wife and baby might be provided for.
Awful, wasn't It? But who do you think ls to blame? Do
you blame the father who piled up the hundreds of thousands Or
do you blame the son who didn't know any better? Or is the
blame to be placed wholly on social and economic conditions which
make such a situation possible and rather common?
-,-,-a-a.n- mm ■_--._» _.-.-.-_-fc---.->->-.-t-t»-t-t-. | -.-.-.^ | -. | -.^^,-. ) - v - w^
The Dead Line of Forty-Five
The "Antl-4 5 movement," to combat the prevalent notion that
the age of 4 5 is a dead line for human activity, has been started by
William P. Black and Edward Cecil of Chicago. One of them
Is over 60, the other nearly 70. Both claim to be "strictly in it"
and full of ginger.
It is a good work and ought to be encouraged.
Most men of 45 will decline to admit that they are not as good
as ever. For one thing, they can't afford to admit it. They have
■imply got to keep going, whether they want to or not.
For another thing, It is not a fact that a man Is normally un
fitted tor good work at 45 or over. True, he ls not worth much
for war, nor, perhaps, for the heaviest physical tasks in civil life,
but for all other pursuits he should be not only as good, but better,
than younger men.
. Of course, you can't teach an old dog new trlclfs, and the new
employments will naturally fall to the hands of the young. It Is
the man past middle life who suffers by the introduction of labor
saving machinery because it is difficult for him to adjust himself
to anything but the old job, which is eliminated by the new ma
The "Anti-45 movement" will do good by changing the thought
of discouraged middle age, for everybody now admits that "as a
man thinketh so is he"to a considerable extent, at any rate.
It will accomplish something by bluffing employers Into seeing
that "there's a lot of good in the old man yet," so that they will
not let him go as readily as they might otherwise do.
But the greatest field for usefulness on the part of the move
• ment is in creating a sentiment in favor of policies of statemanship
I that shall find profitable work for men who have passed the meri
■ dian, hut who must yet live and car© for those dependent upon them.
y: There's room in the world for all, if we only knew It!
i aoam*****a****a*at***amt*at*************** ***** a a***m******a**a&ami
DR. JOHN D. gI.VCKKMIOS, tho great mental suggestion ex
pert, declares that cigarets render a woman "morally insecure."
But, doctor, that won't bother a good many of the women who
£?'. EX-I'HOF. PECK of Columbia University Is suing Boston Post
for $100,000 for accusing him of "muliebrity." Look this word
up and you'll find It has nothing to do with four-legged mules.
TAFT and LaFollette together at last! Both got pink-eye!
First time they were ever in full accord on anything.
QUITE a number of weak banks are going to tho wall In var
ious parts of the country, but nobody says much about it. Fact
Is, the fruit ls being thinned only that the parent tree in Wall
street may be stronger and bear larger and more luscious fruit,
Survival of the fittest, you know.
JULIA WARD HOWE'S Greek play, written 50 years ago for
Booth, has just been produced for the first time on any stage. So
don't be discouraged If you can't market your play. It may get
a start when you're dead.
WE can't see any particular difference between the list of the
new Mexican cabinet and the old. Both lists aro full of foreign
names and both sound Spanish.
LOS ANGELES socialist died and left an estate of $625,000.
So you see not all socialists aro financial failures, sore at society
because they can't win.
THERE'S one thing about the socialist party in congress that
the old parties must envy. He can hold a caucus any time without
even getting out of bed and command a unanimous vote on any old
vexed thing that may come before the house.
EVERY time a New York bank busts it uncovers an odor that
la smelt clear over the country to the Pacific coast. And always
a lot of eminent financiers and office-holders are found with dirt on
r , JUSTICE CORRIGAN says crime is rampant in New York in
consequence of Gaynor policies. The mayor charges the justice
With "sedition.". And the old town is sharply divided on the issue,
with hot shot belching hourly from the two camps.
"OSGAR und ADOLF" Diana Dillpickles Still on the Job By Condo
u^njxJWOLf^)%j| - Jl _ (xriJ -^^ -,*i******i*i**-***** t *«»**« mmmmmmtm^a^h^mm^h^h^hm^ash^^mm^^mma
Editorial Page of Cfic €acoma kitties
««<wa«ialia»aw>«w«»»»i«»ai»a«^ill>ww»i<awMa«<aaa«aa««««^^ —■,■.■„■ „■„-.■•- • a**************************** ...... ■■ ....*.....*.. ************* ...»...**»*.*.*
| COME NOW, LET'S SMILE AWHILE^
Little Miss Muffet
! Started to bluff it
With only a couple of sevens.
It simply appalled her
When somebody called her,
And all she could murmer was
Son—Pa, what Is a ship's hold?
Mr. Woolly West ——cr —it
is tho anchor, I suppose. —'Boston
Magistrate —You are accused of
stealing a diamond worth fifty
Thief— l only wish I had the
Magistratelt Is said to be
worth more even.
Thief You can have it for
twenty thousand, —Pete Mole.
A Literary Question.
"They say she married him for
"Impossible. He's a poet."—
Detroit Free Press.
THE STANDING ARMY.
"Are you th© language editor?"
"Guess so. What do you want?"
"I've got a long list of Mexican
towns here that I can't find on
"Lcmme see 'em. Those ain't
towns—they're colonels."— Plain
HeWe must economize.
She —Huh! You sound just like
a democrat taking office. —Harp-
WISDOM OF WOMAN.
Savings Rank Depositor Will
you please cancel my old book and
issue inn a Ml one?
Cashier What's the matter, lost
Depositor— exactly, but it
amounts to the same thing. My
wife won't let mo have Judge.
While Tliey Detect.
"Every criminal Is sure to leave
a number of clews behind him."
"Yes," replied the old police of
ficer, "I suspect that some of them
leave as many as possible so as to
keep the detectives theorizing
while they catch a steamboat."—
Washington Evening Star.
* OUR DAILY BIRTH- f
I DAY PARTY. f
You know this J. Frank Hanly Is
a considerable person. As gov-
been made dry.
He's forty-eight years old today.
• 1 •
|-J OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE |
* ; •
"Ike No o
ivu_ took up by
th' pound man
an' came out
Woes of the Inseparable j
How would you like to be a Judge in Germany and be con
fronted by this proposition: > ,
The "Sisters Blazek" are'joined like the famous Siamese twins. I
One of them was sued for breach of contract. She was arrested I
and taken to jail. Naturally — inevitably, we may say —her sister
went along. But there was no charge against the sister, who
now sues for false Imprisonment.
What is the poor judge to do?
He can't uphold one of" the girls in breaking contracts, and '
he can't stand around and sco the other one imprisoned when no
one has anything against her. ,
Really, it's embarrassing, and none the lees so from the fact .
that one of the twins is married and has a baby two years old,
while the other is a maiden lady of retiring disposition.
Say, the complications of the "Sisters Blazek," legal and dom
estic, are too much for us!
We hope the Judge will decide it right. And we don't favor .
his recall, whichever way he decides or dodges.
j Today's Good Short One
Nat Goodwin made the statement in a Cincinnati hotel that no
man could eat a quail a day for 30 consecutive days, because no
human stomach could digest it.
The friend who heard him make the statement bet him $100
that he was wrong. As it happened, they struck a hobo, who
gladly accompanied them into the hotel Bar.
Goodwin explained the bet, and asked:
"Now, do you think you could eat one quail a day for 30
"You betcher life!" replied the bum. "But say, pal, for good
ness sake.make it a turkey."— Magazine.
jW*^WM^^*wwa^^^w^waM^^^«iawv— — ***a^*****a^***********a^^a
In the Editor* Mail j
Everybody in Pierce county reads this column. Short : *
letters from Times readers, of general interest and without ; '•
personal malice, will be printed. Write about anything or any* '
body you wish, but do not have malice as your motive. Many '
letters are not printed because they are too long. Keep 'em
Editor Times:— ; Then the boisterous conduct of '
As a taxpayer, a Tacoma boost- the youth after school hours until ;
er, standing for civic beauty, I closing time is deplorable. They
protest against the appearance of are allowed to mako themselves '
the grounds at our City Library, obnoxious, disturbing readers who '
Passing recently I rioted the ter- expect to find quietude and even ;
race overrun with children, one going so far, last week, as to knock
boy literally tearing It up with a over an elderly lady causing her
case knife, papers strewn every- to lose her eyeglasses. It Is time
where; chalk marks scrawled over these conditions were changed, ;
j the entrance and a general air, of protests in person and over the
j untidiness. One would hesitate to phone not heeded, other measures
ask tourists to visit under such should be taken.
| conditions. ■ ■ TAXPAYER.
ernor of Indiana
he stirred the
1 state from one
r end to the other
i with graft prose
things of that
sort, forcing the
resignation o f
some state of
ficers, and re
sands of dollars
to the state. He
hates whiskey as
he does pizen—
he says they're
both the same,
anyway — and
made the legisla
ture put through
a local option
whole slices of
Concrete motorboats of good
speed, equipped with American en
gines, are being manufactured in
IN Portugal you can't vote un
less you can read and write.
Hot. water for Internal use
should never be drawn from the
tank of the kitchen range, but
should always be freshly boiled.
A REALLY pompous rooster is
almost as vain as a fresh college
TROUBLE makers by the score
come to ev'ry man's door.
WE cannot all be preachers, but
the ways open for us to do good
SMILE in your enemy's face,
but look out for a right hook.
BEING forced away from one's
ideal is pretty tough; but without
the star in sight life isn't worth
IT seems natural enough that
old bachelors should be men of
LET'S be happy and gay;
spring's here to stay.
COUNT them by millions, those
fool men who think they are wise.
PRACTITIONERS of sharp
practices usually cut themselves
worst in the end.
TEACHER: What is It that
binds us together and makes us
better than we are by nature?
"Corsets, sir," piped a wise lit
tle girl of eight.
Did you ever see:
A street car conductor who
wouldn't fight when you tried to
"slip him" a shining nickel? '
The girl who didn't walk faster
when passing a cigar store than
when ambling by a spring display
The married man who did not
look 'round hurriedly when you
asked him if marriage was a fail
Man's hair turns gray, on an
average, five years earlier than
woman's. Perhaps there's a rea
There's not so much excitement
at the Mcx frontier as there is
here, notwithstanding that there
is SOME —-as getting a seat In
trolley car at 6 p. m.
April 4, 1864, Grand Ecore, La.,
flashed out a glorious but brief ex
perience as the center of all at
tention in the United States,
although it turned out to be
as big a bunco as the Juarez
race track. Whatever Grand
Ecore meant before that it has
meant grand failure since, tor It
was there that the union army un
der Gen. Banks was joined that
day by the union fleet under Ad
miral Porter. While on the land,
and habitable by an army, Grand
Ecore faces the water—and If
there was water enough, could en
tertain a navy. But its river was
about half out of water at that
time and the fleet of gunboats
had some difficulty in getting out
again without having thel» noses
scorched. The Red river expedi
tion, of which Grand Ecore was
the much-planned climax, is gen
erally conceded to have been one
of the most hopeless failures.
t .1 aa***amet*mmam**mm*m*ammmotmaomammyamtomtmaoam
at , " "-^.-, ' '.*"■>" *,■-;-,'*-. . ■■:'''r-.r'iw*'aat^a;'a,l'i>«a:.M.aM;--^
' Entered at tlie poatof flee at Taeonia, Wail, hi
* •eco-d-elaM natter TELEGRAPHIC '• SERVICE
.-<•..nd-a1... vatte. TELEGRAPHIC SRttVICB
Or UNITED PRESS ASSOCIATION.
PUBLISHED EVERY EVENING EXCEPT SUN.
DAY MY THE TACOMA TIME* PUBLISHING
.; COMPANY. kxyA-y
Human nature appears to be just about the same, whether' of
the highly civilized variety of the present day, or of the more prim
itive type of 3,300 years ago. Man is easy to fool, enjoys being
well fooled and never lets a chance go by to take in another fool.
The cabinet makers of Thebes manufactured furniture etc. of cheap
wood and applied a thin film of fine wood to the article by means
of glue, just exactly as the great furniture factories make ma
hogany tables and chairs by applying a thin veneer of the expensive
wood. Same old trick. ',
HO, HUM! HE'S HERE AGAIN
Workers of the World
BY PETER POWER.
MARINE WORKERS' STRIKE
IN TWO HEMISPHERES
The great international strike
of marine workers may be called
on both sides of the Atlantic al
most any day. The conference of
representatives from various coun
tries, which lias just adjourned at
Brussels, Belgium, selected a com
mission to study the situation, and
voted full power to that body to
order an international walkout
when deemed feasible.
The delegates from America,
Great Britain, Denmark, Holland
and Norway reported that the ma
rine workers in their countries
were prepared to begin the strug
gle for the right to organize and
recognition. ' Other countries are
about to vote on the question.
The main issue is union recog
nition and the withdrawal of the
shipping federation from their
campaign of union disruption.
HOW A RAILROAD
'COMPLIED WITH 9-HOUR LAW
The brief dispatch from Wash
ington, stating that the United
States supreme court had ren
dered a decision favorable to the
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe rail
way on the technical plan of
"complying" with the nine-hour
law for telegraphers by dividing
the working day into shifts, didn't
tell the whole story.
The.plain truth is that the su
preme court's decision has made
a farce of the national nine-hour
Tuesday, April 4,1911
law, which was enacted four years
ago to safeguard the public by
prohibiting the railway corpora
tions from working employes too
The Santa Fe railway "com
piled" with the law by compelling
telegraphers to work six hours,
then lay off three hours between
trains and then work another
three hours. Their work was
spread over 12 hours In the day.
And the courts say that is a nine
hour day, thus leaving the nine
hour day a dead letter on the
WITHDRAW FROM THE
The international association of
machinists is the latest organi
zation to become engaged ln an
1 internal struggle over th© ques
tion of ordering officers of that
union to withdraw from the
President James O'Connell is
' aimed at, O'Connell. also third
- vice president of the A. F. of L.
I and stands next to John Mitchell
-ln line of promotion, declares
> that he is not an active but a
' passive member of the Civic fed
Nevertheless, the machinists
: unions of New England are ml:
-: tiatlng a referendum to place
the issue squarely before the
- membership of compelling O'Con
! Nell to choose between the union
' and the Belmont-Carnegie body. .
• POEM •
• . •
The wild-eyed fan has
hushed his wail,
Likewise has closed Ids
: For big league stars have
lilt the trail,
And now are speeding
' For every spring it is the ,
Baseball must hold Its '
We're nuts about the na
a ■ tional game—
-80 speed the opening
day.' k> " -*"" A'A-l
xml | txt