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THOSE DEMOGRAPHS
That international congress of hrgiene and
tomography has given the scientific and religious
circles their annual stirring up over the origin of
life.
We are informed that our own Prof. Jacques
Loeb took an alleged unfertilized frog's egg and by
applying chemicals produced "a mature frog." We
guess there's some mistake about this dispatch, as
about the first scientific fact we ever indisputably
learned was that mature frogs don't come from eggs.
We've been introduced to the pollywog,
In addition, England's celebrated biologist,
Prof. Kd. A. Schafer, stirred things up pretty con
siderably with that not very new theory that lite
originated from the rubbing together of certain
chemicals under certain laws. Accidental combina
tion of accidentally created chemicals, under acci
dental laws, you see.
But, really, these biologist sharps are not a bad
sort. They may yet offer us something that's good
to eat that the trusts don't. One can easily see thfe
economic advantage in cheaper frogs, anyhow, and
the scientists' progress toward actual creation of
life ia so slow and open to suspicion that few of us
are going to live long enough to have our faith in
Divine Design greatly perverted by them.
A GOOD TEXT
According to the News-Post of Philadelphia,
the preachers of that city are warning country folk
not to let their daughters come to the city unless
assured of a minimum wage of $10 per week in
some reputable employment.
This sort of text looks mighty good to us, and
we especially Commend it to country preachers.
The Philadelphia preachers are shocked at the num
ber of girls who come to their city, make a hope
less struggle on inadequate wages and fall. The
average country preacher seeuus to satisfy himself
by preaching against sin and folly in the abstract,
but surely here's a chance to attack a particular
folly particularly. The girl who gives up oppor
tunities and environment in the country for a city
life at starvation wages makes a mighty poor in
vestment, financially as well as morally, and the
country minister cannot devote himself more di
rectly to the cause of God and humanity than by
stemming the pilgrimage of our youth from the
country to the city.
LIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL
For downright uncharitablencss observe the
Cincinnati Post's endeavors to get Nick Lougwartfc
to publicly debate the tariff issue!
In the first place, Nick is almost as eloquent as
a hard-boiled egg. Then, he's got to be regular for
Taft and regular for Father-in-law Bull Moose, no
slouch of a diplomatic job in itself.
We guess that that river district of Ohio isn't
going to learn all that Nick knows about the tariff.
However, it's The Post's duty to get all the light
turned on it can.
OBSERVATIONS
DOES anyone in Tacoina know a person by the
name of Taft*
WONDER how Penrose felt when T. R. de
manded that he be kicked out of the U. S. senate?
FOR seven years Sulzer has tried to land the
job of governor in New York.
THEY'RE getting ready to oarve Turkey.
This is a war item—not a Thanksgiving day fore
cast.
HAS-BEENS for 1912: Frank Chance, Stand
pat Hay, '"Cousin" Bill Taft, Battling Nelson, one
Albert Johnson, Ad Wolgast and others.
PUZZLE: If it takes $13,000 to beat an ob
scure candidate for the nomination for governor,
how much will it cost to beat Mob Hodge, progres
sive candidate for governor of Washington, the man
all the people want?
THE progressive party seems to be growing
stronger every day in spite of the bold assertions of
the standpat press to the effect that there is no Bull
Moose organization.
DID you ever see a candidate who has been
good and licked after election t Not mentioning any
names, you'll see one in this state some time after
November.
THIS man Albert Johnson has it on everybody
for persistency. Even though his own standpat
crowd turned him down at the primary, he still
wants to beat Warburton. What a chance!
Puyallup is enjoying a great fair. Residents of
that section declare it's the best exhibition of the
products and enterprise of the great valley in years.
The fair itself is a personification of the prosperity
of the people in this region.!
Take it in, Mr. Citizen, it looksvgood.
Cditorial Pa^e of €fie Cacoma Cimes | ™£BSJEi:Jr -
"Xo. Win-never one gats tired I just—
—turn 'em around, so!"
s^^^^^B3^^^^^^TSt"i*toii l^raietj I:
I visited the convict ship
Whore men were once confined
In darkness 'n^ath the water line,
In cells by fiends designed;
Where prisoners lay till madness
came.
Or death —than guards more
kind.
I visited the prison ship,
I saw each ball and chain 1,
I saw the cruel raw-hide "Cat" •
Which drew such blood and
pain. r '
And almost underneath my feet
I seemed to set* the stain.
The old hulk reeked of ancient
woe.
Of brutal deeds and black
Of cruel men who laid the lash
SPEEDING THE PARTING GUEST
LATEST MARKET REPORT
FOR TACOMA HOUSEWIVES
Fruit • .
Strawberries, 16c box.
iJlarkherrlPS, 6c,
Ilueklebrrriow, 10c lb., 2 lbs. 15c.
Cantaloupes, 55*10i'.
Crabapples, box, GO® 65c.
Peaches, box, 86c.
I. .11 . box, $1.60.
Oranges, 30<& 40c. - ,
Watermelons, lDc.
J.en-.ona, 40c.
i Cocoa nuts, 10c.
Bananas—3oc doz. ~ , ,
Bananas—3oo - dor. '
Apples—Gravensteln, $1.50 box.
- - - Strata ■ < . '
Roast Beef, prime rib, lb. 18030 c.
Pot noast, 12H«15c, . ,
Hulling Beef, S&lOc
Sirloin, 20c. '
Porterhouse, 25 28c.
T-Bone, 2tif»2ic. -
Round Steak. 18c..
I.*K of Lamb, spring, 20c.
Lamb Chops, shoulder, ISO! loin
and rib, 20c. . . ■ •»
Shoulder of Lamb, 12V&c.
Lamb Stew. lb., 7c.
Boast Pork.. 20-22-25 c. ,
Pork I Chops, shoulder, 20o; loin
and rib, 25c. ■ «
Veal Koast,' inotic. ' '. .
Veal Cutlets, 20f125e.
Ham. sliced, 25«30c. : .
Salt Pork, lie. ■ : .
Pgrk SauHUßre, link. ISc; bulk, 18c.
Bacon, ItOJSc ■ '
Corned' Deef, ' boneless,, ltc.
Tripe, 10c. ,
Brains. ISc -;^^^M
Liver, 10c. PonKrr <i
Poultry
Sprlns; ' Chicken*, . 25c. , ■'?*.■..' i-, I'^;
liens, 10c. v53-«-"--.",-.;. ■, '.',,',•' ■' ■•' Ei' 'W
Spring; Ducks, ; i ,; ;■-. -.-. ■_ M .
DRIVING PIGS TO MARKET
(A OOMJC FJtOM THK UKKMAX.)
Across their brother's back,
Of horror piled on horror'shead.
Of tortures like the rack,
An.d this was how the "good oM
days" Z.."r
Reformed men who did 111—
Bj' placing them in warden's
hands
To madden and to kill,
To fill their very souls with hate
The vessel teems with still.
We may not treat our erring ones
As wisely as we should,
Bui no such horror-place as this
Within our ken has stood;
This "hell ship'" comes from
olden days,
The days some men call
"Good!"
Squabs, 35c. . ;'C- ■
■ ■ Fish. "■ "■ - #^fc* :
Halibut, 2 lbs. 25c. \ ."*»,.. .
bainion. 15c , --»■■—3 ■■
Black Cod, 2 lbs. 25c. ■ -~E£T *
Hock C«.d. 15c. —"~
Sound Smelts, 2 lbs. 25e. ■
Shrimps, 15c.
Codfish,, brick, 25c
Olymplu Oysters, $1 qt. .j- !/•
Anchovies, quart, 25c. - *""?
Kippered Salmon ami. • Cod, IS* j'
Kippered Herring. lSe- v - .^J*
- »■■ ■ "■ table* >" «s«^i
Celery, bunch, 5-«-10c. —
Green Cum. 200. ■
Cucumbers, dox., 20c.
Green and -Wax Beans Bo lk> 4 »
Tnmatoes, 2 lbs. for 15c . ' ; -■
Squash, lb.. 2c. ■ ,-">,;• .
Well Peppers, lb., 10c. .'!-., V
Egg Plant, lb., 10c. •■ r: "«*.*;"r. 1
Globe Onions, 5 Jbs. 10c -•>.'&'-**»-'.«'
Beets,. Carrots, Turnips, Onions.
Radishes, all bunch stuff, 3
1 bunches for Be . ,"* ffieg e><%i
Cabbage, s<i*l«c. -
Potates, sack, 76c
Spinach, lb., 8c "
Sweet Potatoes, - selected, 10 «lb«.
ZBc. - -- ■-■ i'-.- --.-■■•■ -- "'•■
BUTTER. CHKFISR AND eggs ..
nutter, Sic ? for, «6c. : ■ . .
FaiM-y Bricks, SBc ■•' '<•
Wuxhlnrton. 38c. ' , / * •=
Oregon, lie, S lbs. $1.00. '. C -? . !
'-- tv ,—:■-— i. rhrrac *, -;„.■ -; ■.■.'- ; .■'■," ''
Tilnmook, 20c. , «*^.-y^'. v
Wisconsin, 20c.
New York, 10c. *• . ."' ..i,' S,'>
Imported Swiss.. 40c ' : - jt3^lS
Roquefort. 600. ■•, r v;- ' ." '* V i
Ft***.
Fresh naneh," fancy, ' 45c &*■{' S
Regular. Eastern." SOc. - _"..■ wfej;;#»^
THE TAODMA TIMES.
An Knglish BxqutgJto.
"Young ■ Lord Rocksar
age, who has Introduced in
London the fashion of wear
ing aide whiskers that curl
out in front of the ears, Is the
first gentleman in Europe,
bar King Alfonso only."
■ The speaker, a New York
polo player, continued:
"Lord Ilocksavage leads
duke of Westminster's set.
He is a fine rider, a superb
shot and very smart in dress.
"They tell a story about
him. He was strolling one
warm and sunny winter
morning on the terrace at
Monte Carlo. From the cut
of his gray flannels a pick
pocket realized Lord Rock
savuse's opulence and at
tempted to steal his sover
eign-purse. Bnt the j-oung
nobleiiuin seized in his strong
hand the pick-pocket's grimy
paw, and, looking at it dis
gustedly, Ik> said, as he flung
it from him:
" "How dare you put your
haii'l in a gentleman's pocket
without washing it first?' "
"Why do you keep pester
ing me for money all the
time?" demanded old Close
fist, as his son begged for a
few dollars extra. "Why
don't you go out somewhere
and work for it?"
"Gee. dad," replied the
boy, "is there any harder
work anywhere than getting
a dollar out of you?"— Ha
rper's Weekly.
language.
Gabe—Why do you say
that it is all up with Jones
and that lie Is all in?
Steve ' Because he la down
and out. — Cincinnati En
ulrer.
The Exception.
"All the world love a lov
er, you know."
"Yes, I know— it
happens that the girl has a
little brother." — Chicago
Record-Herald.
■ ■ — - ■»?
Original.
A certain degree of orig
inality there certainly is in
launching a white Progres
sive party for the South to
the tune of "John Brown's
Body."
A Cursory Examination.
A huntsman called on
Hodge to settle for damages
done by a run to hounds, and
found only Mrs. Hodge at ■
home.
"Has your husband," he
inquired, "made an examina
tion yet?"
"That he have, sir," re
plied Mrs. .Hodge, with a
curtsey.
"Rather a cursory examin
ation, I suspect?"
"Oh, dreadful, sir. Such
langwidgo I never hear
never!" — Judge.
She Couldn't.
Mrs. Kaller— Cooks are
such Ignorant things nowa
days.
Mrs. Justwfed —Aren't they?
They can't do the simplest
things. I asked mine to
make some sweetbreads the
other day and she said she
couldn't. —McCall's Magazine.
Just One.
"Do you dye whiskers?"
"Yes," answered the bar
ber.
"Do they fool anybody?"
"Seem to fool the man that
wear 'em." — Kansas City
Journal.
Better Now.
"She went crazy over
bridge."
"Sad, very sad." .
"Oh, no great harm done.
Her family placed her in a
fashionable sanitarium and
she's playing a better game
than ever now."
Foolish Girl.
'"m afraid there must be
Insanity in your family."
"Why so?"
"I hear that your daughter
jilted the man who runs the
elevator in your apartment
bouse to marry a poet."—Sa
tire. ;
Wife—Oh, dear, I've forgotten
my bathlDg suit, and I h*te to re
turn for It.
Hubby—Never mind a lirtto
thing like that. I'll mail it to
you
The Times Daily Short Story
JOKES
THE HONXET BATTLE.
By smart U. Stone.
When the members of the
Smoky City Othello and Ham
Literary society tad gathered In
their hall, Rev. John Quincy
Adams Jarkson, the president,
rapprd for order with the tin dip
per handle.
"As I ariz to promulflgate, fel
low litratures, dis hyeh meettn'
am foh de purpose of Mectin' a
snccesßor to de honorable amd
wuhthy geruman who now 'dresses
yon. It am fittin' befoh yoh go
to. nom'natin' some wuhftess, or
nery, come-seven, razor-totin',
moon-eyed, doctor-sewed —-"
"I rlz to a point of order," in
terrupted Frog-eye Simmons. "If
Brudder Jackson continues to
si>out all night like a red-hot,
steani-hiHsin' sawmill en-jine, dey
won't be no time to elect me as
president."
"Klect yah!" cried out Presi
dent Jackson, Sister Ann Huckle
berry and Uncle Orlando Orestes
Xapoleon Hardtack in unison.
"Data what I said!" affirmed
Frog-eye Simmons. "I pronounces
my canvass-ship foh do same."
"But yon can't write no poul
try!" exclaimed Confucius Water
loo Lee Jones.
Frog-eye Simmons drew a shin
ing razor from his right bootheel.
Sister Ann Huckleberry borrowed
Miss Al«xandrina Sullinger's new
lavender glass smelling bottle Rnd
fainted. The president fell out of
the window. Frog-eye Simmons
spoke slowly, menacingly: "Maybe
yoh has got some sonnet poultry
No MMOMi
PROTECTIVE TARIFF'S JOKE
ON AMERICAN MECHANICS
By Byron W. Holt.
The workingman, like every
body else, has been fooled by a
"protective" tariff that protects
the foreigner and taxes him. He
has even been cheated out of pro
tection on his working tools.
Last year American manufac
turers exported over J110.000.0D0
wqrth of machinery and tools, sell
ins nearly all at lower prices than
the American worklngman had to
pay at home for the same machin
ery and tools.
The steel trust, sheltered by
the tariff, has forced Americans
to pay an average of 30 per cent
more for its products than It
charges the foreign trade. Here
are some instances:
An adze-oye hummer made in
Little Kails, X. V., costs the
American carpenter a sixth more
than the price at which the com
pany finds Its profitable to sell the
same hammer for export to the
English carpenter.
Fur his hand and rip saws,
made in Newark, N. J., the Amerl-
MADE IN
WORCESTER. dCIW
MASS. _||
EXPORT PRICE ]Bf.
HOME PRICE W\
£3%MORE If |
*s*cr ii
DISCRIMINATION II
AGAINST I
AMERICAN HMXHASER W I
VROrECTtVfIWY4S%
can carpenter pays 36 per cent
more than the price to the Cana
dian carpenter.
A mortisiug machine made by
the Kockford, 111., costs the Amer
ican builder 21 per cent more
than the export price of the same
asticle to any builder beyond., the
country's boundaries. The Amer
ican apprentice who buys a scroll
saw has to pay 21 per cent more
than it sells for abroad.
Plumbs and levels (30 Inches)
cost 37 per cent more; plastering
trowels (11 inches 3 0 per cent
more and brick trowels 36 per
cent more to Americans than for
export.
"Protection" for the American
worklngman is placed at 45 per
cent on these tools for earning a
living.
The domestic price of a machin
ist's vise No. 72, manufactured
at Watortown, N. V., U 21 per
cent higher than the export price.
Machinists' hammers (two lbs.)
cost machinists Iwe $1.61, nearly
one-third more than the export
price per dozen.
Machine bolts, larg« and small,
manufactured at Columbus, 0..
cost .the American purchaser 40
The Bank of California
NATIONAL ASSOOIATtON
Capital and Surplus $16,300,000.00
Ban Francisco Portland Tacoma Seattla
TAOOHA BRANCH
The Bank of Callfoi uU n^iu»- g Tacoma.
"I RIZ TO A POINT OF OR
DER," INTERRUPTED FROtt-
EYK SIMMONS.
to enllghtenfy dis hyeh club."
"I Bhoh has!" cried Confucius
Waterloo Lee Jones. He climbed
upon the coal box, unfolded a
piece of brown wrapping paper
from the Fleshy Opossum restau
rant, tied with a pink and lemon
ribbon, and recited in a medodius
bass:
"De moon aot in de tcmnesuential
sea;
De Btahs tucked dere bright coun
terances behind a 'slmmoii
tree;
MADE IN JL-Mf
NEWARK, n,J. JjjC^
sold to ftffiil
FOREIGNERS if!
FORHI^MDUfIk 11l iji
SOLD TO • ■ \i HI
P£SCKIM//tATIOtM ||
mPfforecrtvT"iHrrY, \ , i
per cent more than the export
Collins coal picks, stone picks
and mattocks, long cutters, cost
the coal miner 11 per cent more
than the export price of these
same tools. The moulder pays for
his moulder's spade, made at
North Easton. Mass., a fifth more
than its export price.
The Henry Cheney Hammer
company of Little Falls, N, V.,
charCM horse-shoors a fifth more
than their export price for far
rier'u hammers, while the United
States Horseshoe company, at
Erie, Pa., also makes horseslioers
here pay a fifth more than Its ex
port price for steel horseshoes,
and nearly a third more than its
export price for iron horseshoes.
The National Saw company, lo
cated at Newark, N. J., charges
the American plumber for his 13"
--inch saws $6.32 a dozen at whole
sale, 37 per cent more than its
export price.
The American carriage maker
pays $4.05 for a thousand tire
bolts 1-4x2 inches, at wholesale,
instead of $2.90, the export price,
or 4 3 per cent more.
These "protective" duties have
become prohibitive. Under them,
hardly any machinery and tooJs
are imported, Rnd the consumer
Kf^m^^ nil
I;'! (28%M0RE)*4J0 jiff I)
ilpjliiltascßii'nrunoH If jl
has no relief. - He has to buy trust
tools, with the tariff tax added
for the trust's benefit, or else go
without.
DR. BOYER
CHIROKODIST.
12 years In Tacoma.
Office In Turkish Bath de
partment of Colonial Hotel.
Private entrance for ladies. Tel
Main 5970. 7th and Pac. Aye.
Saturday, Oct. 5, 1912.
De fahmer deserted de hen-houso
and fohgdt de key.
And left de suecullferous pullets
a-waltin' theah foh me."
There was a tremendous out
bust of applause.
"Oh, yoh chicken!" shoute;l
Christopher Columbus Henson.
Then Frog-eye Simmons waved
for silence and, displaying a man
uscript cut from the back of a
flour Back, he read:
"O, Hani, lustlferous sire of a
mighty, cullud band,
When yoh left de good, old Ahk
and wandered down to Egypt
land.
What foh in de name o' darkness
didn't yoh turn and ramble
back
Befoh yoh face got blistered smd
yoh tinned a nation blank?"
Instantly there was another
wild acclaim and It was necessary
for the president to appoint Mr.
Solar Plexus Thompson and Mr.
Peter Fitzmelon, the ex-heavy
weights, as a committee to collect
razors and brass knacks before
order was restored. The hat was
then passed for ballots and the
vote announced:
Confucius, Waterloo Lee Jones.lSti
Frog-eye Simmons ISO
As there were 4 9 members pres
ent and no one had received a
clear majority, the president aroso
and announced:
"De officious vote regultlcating
in a tie, de chair rizzea to declare
no lection. De chair will con
tinue to be yoh eloquential amd
dlstingulcated president until do
next animal 'lection."
Kiln Dried
Mill Ends
GOOD BARK
GET OUII PniCES
GRIFFIN
TRANSFERCO.
4 Big Yards
Main Office, 1930 C. Mala 589
1101 L. Main 404.
So. 48th & Yak. Main 4743.
No. 27th & Proctor. Proc. 750
For
SHUR-ON
GLASSES
SEE
HAVES
Fidelity Bldg.
TO THE BUSINESS MAN
A CHECKING
ACCOUNT
with this bank! With Its
aid be handles bis payments in
the modern way with check!
It places at hia disposal ev
ery banking facility to prompt
ly and safely conduct bis busi
ness, and to form a connection
with what is know* as a strong
bank Is helpful.
This bank invites your ac
count.
SCANDINAVIAN-AMERICAN
of TaroiiiA
Be Careful
Use
PAPER SANITARY
PRINKING CUP 3
. .Ten in a package for
5 Cents
at
THE BONNEY
PHARMACY
Main 553.- 902 Pac ay.
