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FATHERS WILL BE FATHERS
A Kansas man complains that since his daugh
ter has taken music lessons, at his exj>ense, she in
sists upon playing only classical stuff. When he
conies home tired and asks for a little tune he gets
nothing but musical gymnastics.
The whole feminine part of the community, he
thinks, is in a conspiracy to uplift him, and he
doesn't want to be uplifted.
It is just like father to make a complaint like
that. Father never did take kindly to culture. He
sits disconsolate in the draughty kitchen, while
daughter's Browning Circle meets in the front room.
It is mother's idea entirely that he put on an un
comfortable collar in the evening and hear a mis
sionary lecture on Borneo.
Father's taste for music stops short at Suwanee
River, and he knows almost nothing about the minor
poets and the pre-Raphaelites.
His art ideas are derived from the illustrated
Sunday supplement. He will not sit in a Louis XVI
chair. He cares not a whit for the pottery of the
ancient Chaldeans. ,
Shirtsleeves and carpet slippers are his concep
tion of correct evening dress for gentlemen.
There is little hope that anything permanent can
ever be done for father. When the milennium comes
he will still be found reading his newspaper, smoking
up the window curtains, impeding the advance of
culture—and paying the bills.
PITY THE RICH!
It is a favorite jest of the joke writers and the
cartoonists to bid us "pity the poor rich."
But is there not, after all, just a bit of truth in
the admonition 1 Here is a test.
A certain New York newspaper has a custom of
printing every Sunday on highly-calendared paper
the pictures OX five or six of fashion's darlings. They
are sometimes pretty women, but rarely is there the
expression of happiness or joy or content upon their
features. They look weary, bored, cross, or peevish.
And there is a reason. They have nothing to
struggle for!
They are born to social position. Dressing is a
question for the maid to solve. Meals are all ar
ranged by a housekeepr and her staff of servants.
Does she want diamonds?
Write a check!
Would she like to go abroad?
Once more, the ready check book.
A yacht?
The money is available.
Do you wonder they are bored? Nothing to do
in life but eat and sleep, dress and play.
After all, there is something tonic in work.
After all, life's pleasures are sweetened and height
ened by the struggle to secure them. So that the
rich who neither work nor struggle, who are
wasters and not producers, are really to be pitied.
They don't know Life. They only know a gilded
cage.
PREDICAMENT OF A GREAT STATE
Three candidates have bees named for governor
by the three leading political parties in New York.
The republicans have nominated Job Hedges, a
man with a clean, honorable record, politically and
personally. The progressives have put up Oscar
Strauss —humanitarian, philanthropist, an ideal
type of American citizenship. The democrats have
chosen William Sulzer. He has been a party man,
and a Tammany man, but not of the corruptible
type. He stands for principles as well as party, and
disdains personal advantage.
No matter whom the voters of New York state
elect, they seem destined to have an honest governor
and a good administration.
What a situation! What's this country coming
to, anyway?
OBSERVATIONS
TACOMA is represented on the state ticket of
every party except the pi-ohibitionists.
NICK LAWSON wants to build a power plant
adjum-t to the Green river gravity water system
v now, but at the present rate the question is whether
the water system will ever be finished, to say noth
ing of additions to it.
THE farmers evidently believe more in a munici
pal cold storage plant at Tacoma than they do in a
port commission.
GRELK patriotism ran high when somebody
else was going to pay for a trip back home, but got
an awful chill when the railway tickets failed to
show up.
THE BEGINNING
':,,"".,Do not postpone the opining ol m savings account limply b»
mom of th» smallneM of your first deposit All thing*, 70s)
know, must have their beginning Til* big things of today were
i little things of yesterday— we receive deposit* v low
M a dollar. v ;. (r t;:,->_■'?•■:.•.-•■.,'"* -' ■/.-■. ;"'■■ \r "•;'.■:'.■:■••"■;, "■".■■• •.
4 0/0 BANKERS TRUST I CO. BANK 4 o/o
CAPITAL •500.000.00
BANKERS TRUST BUILDING, TACOMA. WASH.
editorial Page of Cfte Cacoma Ciroes
The social event of tlie season
is always Urn debut of Diana Dill
pirkles In some new sphere of en
deavor. Miaa l)il!|'irk!rs has a
coming out party of this kind so
often that the public is becoming
really impatient to know why she
doesn't get married to some good
man and cut out this gay butterfly
existence. Honestly, dear people,
It Isn't because she oan't. She
breaks hearts every day, but her
own has never been dented. You
see, Diana is still on the south
side of 23, and will continue to
have adventures vibrant with the
ingenuousness of youth long after
some of her contemporary he
rotnM have entered the sere and
yellow-leaf and slammed the doo. 1
behind them.
Drop in often, breezy little call
er, the Comic Page will always
have the latch string out.
Drew's RnrburouN Tale.
John Drew haa always
been noted for his clever re
torts, says the Chicago Inter-
Ocean. His latest, which la
credited with having occur
red in a Broadway barber
Bhop, somewhat dumbfound
ed the tonsorial artist.
Mr. Drew has very fine and
silky brown hair. It looks
a little thin when it is un
combed, but properly ar
ranged It shows Itself to be
very thick and comely.
As the barber laid hi 3
moist, cool palm on the ac
tor's skull, he said:
"You are somewhat baW,
sir. - Have you tried our spe
cial tonic?"
"Yes," returned Mr. Drew.
"But that wasn't what mad©
my hair fall out."
HKAVY RATIONS.
First Seagull—What luck with
that last ferryboat, pard?
Second Seagull—Disappointing.
A young married man threw some
lunch overboard, but it sank like
lead.
Flrwt Seagull—Ah, I see—some
of his wife a biscuits!
€ SETTLEMENT HS
Somebody pays for whatever Is made, ',' ;. I.?* <
Cradle or coffin or Jewel or spade. ' ;;\*""
With labor and suffering, sorrow and sweat;
: . . - Somebody pays for whatever we get—
I Ton may dodge YOUR share, . but the bill must be paid.
; Whatever yon shirk •'on another's . back laid; *
And so, wh«*. your portion you seek to evade.
'•I : . You simply load someone else down with the debt—< ■ '
..; -SOMEBODY pays, :. «" .
It's true In all science and morals and trade, : > . . -
•The neon must be settled —not altered a shade; . . • •
■ ••■ llf •■ little : child faces ? with ' tear-drops ' are wet.»•
,;--s If | Greed is triumphant,' the | bill must be met, ;,
And the total Us one- to make; brava v men \ afraid—J
SOMEBODY pays.
Comic Personals
He Didn't Need Them.
While a traveltng man was
waiting for an opportunity to
show his samples to a mer
chant in a little backwoods
town in Missouri a customer
came in and bought a couple
of nightshirts. Afterward a
long, lank lumberman, with
his trousers stuffed in his
boots, said to th« merchant:
"What was them 'ere that
feller bot?"
"Nightshirts. Can I sell
you one or two?"
"Naup, I .reckon not," said
the Missourlan, "I don't set
around much o' nights."—
New York American.
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THE TACDMA TIMES.
On the Home Stretch!
Newark Letter *&
NEW YORK, Oct. 14.—New
York is suffering from a new
kind of theater malady. Its
uame is "too many hits."
Xo such ailment has been pre
viously known. At first it didn't
look like a disease. The man
agers were quite pleased at its
early stages. But they are not so
pleased now.
For many seasons the rule has
been that for every good show,
in new productions, there must be
many poor shows. This year, the
reverse seems to be the case. Hit
after hit has registered, with only
an occasional lemon. The tfoea
ter-going population has been
split "47 ways for Sunday."
"Within the Law," Bayard
Veiller's crook melodrama, is the
sma.shingest hit of them all. It's
sold out for weeks in advance.
"Ready Money," the James Mont
gomery farce comedy, is doing
almost as well. ißelasco's "The
Governor's Lady" is good for a
season. "Fanny's First Play,"
the latest Bernard Shaw concoc
tion, is firmly established. "Mile
stones," has shown that its great
London success is to be repeated.
"Little Miss Brown," maddest
of farces, has caught on. Billie
Uurke in "The 'Mind-the-Palnt'
Girl" is drawing like a mustard
plaster. John Drew has, in "The
Perplexed Husband" a play that
fits him unusually well, and he's
JOKES
King Nick, the First Is a
Regular Fighting Terror
THE KINO IN HIS FIGHTIN'
CLOTHES.
King Nicholas of Montenegro 1b
a fightln' man. If there was any
doubt of that fact, ho proved It
when he started the present row
with Turkey, and went to the
front on his 71st birthday.
Considering that Nick's sub
jects, altogether, number only
240,000, while Turkey can raise
an army of more than 1,000,000
trained soldiers, that was some
feat.
This royal game cock is said
to be the best loved ruler In
iKurope. His people Idolise him,
and they're all as scrappy as
Nicholas.
Bvrry Montenegrin, man, wo-
doing fine. George M. Cohen has
scared heavily in his new comedy,
"Broadway Jones," written and
acted by himself. "A Scrape o'
the Pen," the new Scotch play
by Graham Moffatt, author of
"B'linty Pulls the Strings," is do
ing big business.
In musical shows, "The Merry
Countess," "The Count of Luxem
bourg." "Oh! Oh! Delphine!"
and "Hanky Pauky" are there
with bells on. Now figure In the
Hippodrome and the Winter Gar
den, with their big productions,
both doing nicely, thank you, and
a dozen or more shows that are
getting along, although not big
successes, and you will begin to
see why the local managers are
worried.
There are theater-goers who
can afford to take in all the "good
shows." There are many, many
more who can only afford during
the season to see the plays thai
are known as great big successes.
Generally, these are only half a
dozen, at most.
With such a crop as this year's,
it looks like shorter runs for the
big successes than big successes
have previously had, and many
plays which in an ordinary season
would have ben heavy winners
may make little money.
And still they're building the
aters in this town, in which to
put still more shows and make
the competition keener!
man and child, wears the same
little round cap with "N I.'"
(Nicholas the First") on it; all
wear the national dress; all are
taught how to handle firearms;
every male has to carry a pistol.
Most of Nicholas' reign has
been filled with alternating peri
ods of starvation, epidemics and
battles with the persecuting
Turks, who could never forgive
the tiny Montenegro principality
for being so all-fired independent.
Besides being ruler, Nicholas is
generalissimo of the army, pre
mier of his cabinet, chancellor of
the country, master of arms,
judge, playwright, and poet lau
reate. His plays and poems are
the gems of Montenegrin litera
ture.
He holds court under a tree in
the palace yard.
THE POOR SHOPPER.
When hubby goes to market
He gets the damaged corn.
The withered beets, the doubtful
meats,
As sure as you are are born.
When hubby goes out shopping
He has but little luck;
Gets misfit cuffs and faded stuff:
And all the other truck.
Just one lone time did hubby
Acquire a prize in life.
He struck a prize, for once was
wise,
When he brought home his
wife.
—Kansas City Journal.
: Rent your vacant House through
• Time* Want An. Only le •
word. Phone Main IS. "■«■. •••
Merchant's, Delivery
i MoTlag and storage ft ;
?£ %"tf*Mla - Ua.-f.--^:/f^'.',.
flf fAITrC ; BnslneM 'Office Main 12.
HHI Illlr \ Circulation Dept. Main la.
* **w**»Jfc/ Editorial D«pt, Mala 7M.
— 778-778 COMMERCE ST.lp|
RECORD TELLS OF NEW PARTY
AND BIG TRUST ISSUES
EDITOR'S NOTE: This is th« second article In the
series contributed to this newspaper by George L. Record
of New Jersey in support of the candidacy of Theodore
Roosevelt.
HV «.i.i>l:<.!■: 1.. RECORD.
Consider the trust issue. Plainly nothing can be hoped from
the republican standpatters. Their leaders are owned by and rep
resent the trusts, as Archbold's letters to Penrose show. The
democratic party has offered no specific bill which
can be taken as an Indication of their method
of treating the problem. Their platform seems
to promise only more lawsuits. Gov. Wilson's
utterances are extremely vague. He says that
the democracy proposes to regulate competition;
that the trusts have destroyed competition; that
the directors of the Steel Trust Corporation are
the directors of more than half the railways of.
the United States; that the independent business
man cannot remain independent, and it is diffi
cult for the new 'man in any business to get
ahead, because the new or independent man can
not get credit at the bank.
But the governor suggests no remedy. How is
the little fellow, or the independent, to be pro
tected? How is the man who needs credit to be
enabled to get it? How are the directors of
trusts to be prevented from controlling railroads?
How is competition to be regulated? What is
the difference between regulating competition
and regulating monopoly? G * Record
The governor and the democratic platform "w# **• •"w "*
offer no answers. They declare only in favor of
strengthening the Sherman law and more lawsuits under it. Hut
the Standard Oil and Tobacco cases were won under the Sherman
law, and the outcome of these victorious lawsuits has become the
joke of the country. It takes years to try these cases, as the law
now is, and when the Sherman law ia strengthened by new amend
ments these provisions must be passed upon by the courts and fur
ther delays are sure. It ia plain that the democratic plan to handle
the trusts is wretchedly inadequate and offers little hope.
Now consider the Roosevelt progressive plan. We favor keeping
and strengthening the Sherman law for whatever it may be worth,
but our main plan is to establish a strong industrial commission,
with ample powers to supervise and control big business, somewhat
as the interstate commission Is doing with the railroads, viz.: to
enforce complete publicity, to investigate the capital, prices and
property values of big corporations, to prevent unfair competition,
stock watering, rebates and all special privileges.
Governor Wilson opposes any further extension of government
powers. He says that liberty has been established by limiting tlia
scope of government power instead of by extending it. This Btate
ment Is opposed to all history and is contrary to the whole trend
of modern development.
Again the governor repeats Mr. Brandels' chargo that our polirj
of regulating the trusts by a commission means legalizing monopoly,
This is a pure assumption. No proof is offered to support it.
Neither Mr. Roosevelt nor the platform anywhere says that il
the control of the market by the trusts is due to privilege that he 01
we favor continuing that privilege.
All we say is that we find big business here, with manifold and
increasing abuses, and we propose to control it and its evils while \v«
gather information for further action.
We find a great and recent fact, the control of markets bj
trusts, and there is no government agency in existence equipped to
handle the condition. We propose to create an adequate and power
ful agency. That is all. Is it not plain that our plan is superior to
that of the democrats? They offer more lawsuits. We offer a pow
erful government agency created for the special purpose of locating
the reasons of trust control and preventing extortion in prices and
destruction of competitors by unfair or illegal means.
(TOMOKKOW —Tin- second article by l.oni- D. liian
deis on Wilson uud his platform.
Judge In Rosenthal Case
Makes Grafters Tremble
JUDGE JOHN W. GOFF.
The Tenderloin has no love for
Jnstice John W. Goff, who is pre
siding in the Rosenthal murder
trial. Of all the men who have
no love for grafters, Goff easily
leads the first battalion!
Years ago, IS to be exact, he
won the admiration of all the
country by his brilliant work as
examining attorney for the Lexow
committee, tho famous body
which probed for the first time
the depths of New York immor
ality as made possible by police
alliance. And scarcely a year has
passed since that time in which
Goff lias not struck some blow or
other at this same old arch
enemy of New York decency. *
And now comes the trial of
Lieut. Becker, with its ramifica
tions of graft-trails leading alike
to high and low places, under the
Jurisdiction of this same Judge
Goff.
No wonder the tenderloin
trembles!
"I hold no brief for any police
system," sayg Goff. "All over the
United States the management of
the police Is universally bad, as
I ace It. Nearly everywhere the
police seem to be part of a great
political machine. Morals are
Monday, Oct. 14,1912.
left to take care of themselves or
are indeed made to take care of
political ends. I am for cleaning
up the police systems from one
end of the country to the other!"
To look at Justice Goff no one
would think he was the great
active reformer he is. He looka
more the dreamy poet — the
writer. His face is small and
compact and exquisitely chiseled.
He reminds one of portraits of
George Meredith, and he has, too,
Meredith's snow white hair halo
ing his brow.
Though past 60 and at the age
when successful men tend to cor
pulency. Judge Goft has still the
lithe figure of the boy of 20. He
walks rapidly and swings his
arms freely, as though he has,,
too, youth's fund of energy. la
conversation, this same surplus
of energy is evident. Goff speak*
spiritedly, laughs heartily, growls
surlily or is vehemently inter-
Goff is an Irishman and proud
of it. Though accounted one of
the moat intellectual men in New
York, he is no society man. "I
bate the world of clothes and
society," he says. "I prefer my
own fireside and a group oC
real friends."
