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MKMIIKR "or ' Tim ' SCIUPI>M ' hoktii writ
"■AlilK or irawsFArKßS. Tele«^i»M« ■%.-...
»rr»lr» of Ike I »llr<l I'tru AMoelatlu by direct
Lrasrd Wire. .
Batrred at Ike pomfttU*. Tacoaa, mask., n.
wwn<-01..i Matter. Put.n.lii-ii bjr the IWomn
'"■"« •*»•• c«. S)t*it Kvcnln* Kxcept Sunday.
KEEP IT ON THE JOB
CornmisHioner Nick Lawson says he expects to turn Cireen river water in
to the homes of Tacoma consumers on the middle and lower service in .Janu
ary and cut out the pumping plants excepting one turbine to keep the high
But the city wiH probably not dismantle the pumping stations.
It would certainly be the extremest folly to in anyway interfere with the
present water system until the Green river plant has been entirely completed
and given a good long test.
Fn>m all the reports of "floating pipe" and "twisted joints" and general
faulty cfisi ruction on part of the pipe line the people will feel a lot safer if
they know the old pumps are on hand to be started any minute in ease of an
emergency out along tlw* pipe line.
Another thing that citizens are interested in is that the water hejnire.
There has been so much partisanship «>n the Green river question that the
average citizen is much confused.
In short, for the next year or so at least it would be well to keep the pres
ent plant oiled up ready for business, hi fact it should be maintained perman
ently as a guaranty against a water shortage by reason of accident along the
big pipe line.
Henry Haze, now lecturing in Tacoma, says it is easy to live 100 years
and cites instances where it is being demonstrated.
But the important thing about his philosophy is not that life for all of
us may be lengthened out to the century mark and beyond, but that we all feel
young and spry to the limit.
CJuze himself is an object lesson of interest. No one would guess him to
be 30 years old, yet he has been on the lecture platform over 20 years. His
philosophy appears to be a mixture of rational physical culture and whole
some mental science.
There is in all of us an innate feeling that there is a way to live longer
and feel better than the mortal of today is accomplishing. The secret of this
better way is what the world has been Looking for since Adam.
Gaze may or may not have the real germ of final truth, but he really ought
to have postponed his visit here with his advocacy of "rational eating" until
All the G. O. P. needs is harmony,
says Foraker.. Oil up, Joe!. It needs
principles that make for harmony.
They call Cousin Bill Taft's Lotus
club speech his "swan song". Bill
doesn't look it but maybe is he sang
you'd think it a swan.
California suffragettes want a woman
in Wood row Wilson's cabinet. A good
live woman as secretary of agriculture
would ho an improvement, anyhow.
Over 50,000 New York wives support
the husbands, declares Mrs. Carrie C.
Catt, the illustrious suffragette. But,
Mrs. Catt, if their wives didn't, their
mothers would have to, wouldn't they?
Alfred D. Robinson, famous breeder
of Barred Plymouth Rocks, boldly ad
vertises "No telephones; they're too
much trouble." One business man who
defies the exchange tyrant!
They're excusing men from jury ser
vice in England because they have con
scientious objection to the immorality
of trying women by men under man
What was the make of that car whose
owner deliberately ran it into San
•Francisco bay and then asked for a pile
driver to hammer it in so it would stay?
Now, agents, don't all answer at once.
I Our $475 Player Piano
Is Worth More
v , We are thoroughly familiar with the mer
its of practically every player Piano on the
v market today. We, therefore, can state
positively that our ,$475 Player Piano of
fers more real, tangible worth than any :".[
I Player for which $600 is asked elsewhere.
kp^es not such a statement make our $475
Player Piano worth investigating?
Sherman.pfay & Co. |
: gtrlunny and Other rinn»»—Apollo and <>|liiin player 11. r
•■oe— Victor Talltluic jtlnrlilur-.— Mnalc aud >1.i,1,nl
ly "'-.'': '■■-; ■ . V ■'* ■ . ■ ' Merchandise. , -.
y: 928-930 C BC-: Tacoma.
Turn to the §jjpT g> Want Ads
editorial Pa^e of €fte €acorn& Cimes
Maybe it's the "sublime porte," but
it looks like the sublimated.
Call me early, mother darling—for
I've got to do my Christmas shopping
Seattle certainly does lead Tacoma in
some things; take yesterday's earth
quake for instance.
One Tacoma automobile dealer is al
ready advertising an "advance show
ing" of 1914 models of a certain car.
What you might call a progressive!
Oakland baseball man, sentenced to
Oklahoma for his health, took carbolic
arid. Maybe knew Oklahoma health
resorts and wasn't afraid of any others.
Washington society is all a-quiver
because Woodrow Wilson has three
marriageable daughter*. Great Caesar,
what luck! Just think of having three
unmarried marriageable daughters and
being elevated to the top notch of
Ex-Sultan Abdul, called the Damned,
does not hear prastrate Turkey's call
ing for him in her extremity, 'says a
foreign correspondent. But, Ab has
heard so many calling him that per
haps he's wise in not coming out of his
hole until he recognizes the real turkey
The Demons of the Swamp
are mosqultos. As they sting
they put deiftily malaria germs
in the blood. Then follow the Icy
chills and the fires of fever. The
appetite file* aud the strength
fails; also malaria often paves
the way for deadly typhoid. But
Electric Bitters kill and cast out
the malaria germs from the
blood; give you a fine appetite
and renew your strength. "After
long suffering," wrote Wm. Fret
well, of Lucama, N. C, "three bot
tles drove all the malaria from
my system, and I've had good
health ever since." Best for all
stomach, liver and kidney ills.
50c at Ryner Malstrom Drug Co ,
338 Pacific ay.
COIONIAI, TURKISH HUMS
Clean, New, Sanitary.
Alwnyg Open. Private fiooins.
Pac. ay. & 7th. Main 5970
W. Tan. rhlncna
jfEfP^ Mr.llrln.' Co.
IKz'T^^ ... Testimonial:
£■■ Bj^/H v I have been «uf- '
iEli«sl,Ti. erln * severely
BSi^Stal - >r«>lil ktiinoy trou
fHgM|V tie and rheuma
tic 'Zf iltm' tot' th - pact
T^;.;.. I yri- and hay«
_^k?~-JMm~ontlnx3ali y with-
.#SB out ell*(. After
"^""""■^■^trylng your won
derful remedies, . under v your
treatment lor 1 week*, the pain
«nd •oroncu • have entirely dl a .
Appeared. Youra ; truly, P. A. Snl
4«r, 8710 So. Yaklraa «v.. Tacoma.
a A on<l«rful' Chinese medicine.
Sena 2c •limp for quest blank
to i 1140H ,■ Pacific a.v. ■ Main SJ»?.
THE TACQMA TIMES.
THE VAUDEVILLE CRAZE IN OUR CHURCHES.
Cartoonist L. M. Olaekem Insists That SftCTOd Vaudeville Will Never Be a Complete Success
Until the Pastor Makes His Entrance as Below.
PIGGY OKTS X.WXVS GOAT.
The eight railways touching the
anthracite mine district carried
6,«G5,321 tons of coal in October.
The United States imports more
tea from Japan than from China.
Listening to a tenor, as some
folk call 'em, singer.
Taking a razor to a barber-and
paying him to sharpen it.
Getting out of bed to answer
Kicking because, after getting
out of bed to answer your tele
phone, the operator says, "No
body on your line."
Asking a woman for a match.
Australia exported 1,493,000
pounds of meat the first half of
New York city folk are payin*
72 cents a dozen for eggs. Serves
'em right for living in New York.
Probably it takes all kind* of
cities and towns, Including Little
Falls, to make a free country.
A Belgian railway manager has
embezzled $5,G00,000 from his
company. Another of those things
they do better In Europe.
The best rubber gloves used by
electricians are tested to resist
a current of 10,000 volts.
"Soy Bun, our villt'je cut-up,
telephoned to Town Marshal
Hickory Bludgeon that Chopin
was bein' murdered at th' female
seminary, but when th' officer got
there all he found wuz some
young ladies playln' th' planer."
A SHARP KNIFE M AY CUT BOTH WAYS.
"We ought to have a most in
terestiug year with our card
"Yes, three of last year's mem
bers are sums for divorce."—De
troit Free Press.
"Why should I advertise?"
"Well, here's an example:
America wasn't named after Co
lunibug who discovered It; but
after Amerigo Vespuoci, who first
advertised it." —Louisville Cour
Of the 3,424 dialects !n the
world, moro tlian one-quarter are
spoken In Asia.
"Owing to the Turkish war,"
says a cigaret manufacturer, "It
will be Necessary to raiso the
price of Turkish cigarets." One
may as well expect higher prices
for Turkish baths and Turkish
Bismuth and nickel steel ex
pand when cool, instead of con
tracting like other metals.
What has become o£ the old
fashioned man who used to eat
two eggs for breakfast?
Maybe he's In the poorhouse.
India's main highways, called
"grand trunks," aje all 100 feet
wide, macadamized, have stone
culverts and trees on both sides,
completely arching the roads In
"Father, what is a minor oper
"A minor operation, my boy,
is one for which the patient
cheerfully pays the bill."
"And a major operation?"
"Oh, that's one for which the
bill is settled by the heirs."
At last the world knows why
Eve ate that apple. An apple
grower tells the International
Shippers' Association that eating
apples is better for the complex
ion than all the beautifiers in
the drug store. —New York
Two newsies had this conver
sation at Ninth and Chestnut
streets, yesterday afternoon:
"Do you know what I t'ink o'
"No; but if it's what I fink
youse t'ink, 1 dare youse to say
The Real Creditor.
"Biggina says he owes every
thing to his wife."
"That isn't true," replied
Biggins' father-in-law. "His
wife quit lending him anything
years ago and then he started in
owing me."—Washington Star.
f%w frvlip n Business Office Main 1 12.
Hi \V% I 1 N Circulation Ucpt. Main 12.
* *i.\JllMjyJ Editorial Dept. Main 784.
OFFICE—776-778 COMMERCE ST.
KOMK Kll>, F,H,
Isaac. K. Marcosson was born
some 3 0 odd years ago in Louis
ville, Ky., and immediately after
joined the staff of the Louisville
Times, soon graduating into the
position of city editor.—Cleveland
There is a clock In St. Peters
burg that has 95 dials. It tells
tho time of day in 30 cities and
shows the movements of the
"The Darling" and The Angel
Of the Chicago Stockyards
miss mary mcdowell.
Chicago university has.. two
settlements, one in the aristo
cratic region near the university
and tho other a few 11 • in li •<! feet
from a square mile of slaughter
housesthe Chicago stork yards.
."One was located among the
'ewells' and the • other in the,
'smells,' " explained I Miss <• Mary
McDowell, the plump, jouuy, blue
eyed Scotchwoman, who is the
darling of Packlngtown.
However, Chicago people are
more apt to refer the Miss McDow
ell -an "the stockyard an go}."
And in the stockyard district, to
thousands of Polish and Lithuan
ian workers and their families
Monday, Nov. 25,1912.
HUNTBR'S in LH.II I.
Bye a baby bunting; daddy's
gone a-huntlng. One friend took
daddy for a deer, but he only got
one ear; one friend took him for
a moose; let a charge of buckshot
loose. But the wound was very
light; dad's a lucky man, all
'TWAS A CINCH.
"And what Is your occupa
tion?" asked the insurance agent.
"I'm a woodsman. During the
hunting season I act as a guide."
"I'm sorry, but my company
won't write a policy on your
"Why not? Surely I'm a good
"My dear sir, you're not a risk;
you're a certainty." — Detroit
She —I never saw Mrs. Haver
time with that man before. I
must find out who he is.
He —-You needn't worry; It's
only her husband. — Illustrated
THERK'S A niFFHRKXCE.
Rich Banker —So you want to
be my aon-ln-law?
Suitor—Well, I'm not exactly
keen on that, but as I want to
marry your daughter, I suppose
I shall have to take the other job
A CABSWIi KIHTOR.
Conductor Charles* Carter, of
the Atlantic Coast line, recently
surprised his friends by stealing
quietly away and marrying a
Miss De Leach, their marriage be
in^ a culmination of a romance
htgun some years ago before Mr,
Carter's first marriage.—Ocala
"Bah!" exclaimed the socialist.
"Money is filthy lucre."
"Well, I've done the best I
could today," replied the man
who dabbles in stocks. "I've
cleaned up a thousand dollars."
"What do you think will final
ly be selected as our national
"Well, it's dollars to centa it
will b« the mint."—Baltimore
"Meea" McDowell is an angel. As
the head of the settlement she
hears all of the troubles, heart
aches, misery and, once In a
while, laughter of many foreign
ers herded together in squalid
tenements. A Slavic mother with
her little children clinging fright
ened to her skirts pitifully weeps
out a etory of a drunken brute of
a husband. That is Mlhs McDow
ell's clue for action. There has
never been a human brute to
whom she was afraid to talk and
talk with forced plainness.
She organized the first wom
an's trade union ever attempted
in the stockyards and insisted
upon better working conditions
for the girls and women, aud she
attends the meetings of the men's
She opened her settlement in a
small Btoreroom 14 years ago.
Soon she expanded to three
rooms over a feed store. Now she
is at the head of a $50,000 insti
tution, libraries, assembly halls,
music rooms, gyinnuuium and
school rooms, physicians, nursea
Once iv a while Miss McDow
ell skips to another city and talks
to crowds of working girls. Her
favorite address is "The Helpless
In Industry." It Is worth any
person's time to hear it.