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OUR ENTIRE STOCK OF
f CLOTHING GOES ti
4 71 AT 65c ON THE DOLLAR OjA
P v 4 B EGINNI]S[G SATURDAY > NOV. 16, we \k| '.¥
/ \T "~ w^U offer for sale all our suits and over- 1,
/ \ coats at 65 per cent of the selling price. If \
Sp~-Lr you are in need of a suit or overcoat you I \
s-JIJ l/ cannot afford to miss this sale. During this , ;:^ m OT^
tA fc^ | B sa j e everything in our stock will be sold at /I—S : _
prices ranging from 50 per cent to 20 per cent below selling price.
OUR ENTIRE STOCK OF WINTER UNDERWEAR
(nearly 2000 garments) is included in this sale; also all our mackinaws, woolen
socks, leggings, German socks, Fish Brand Slickers; in fact everything in our store.
<JCome and take advantage of the greatest bargains of the season. Remember the
date, Saturday, November 16 to Saturday, November 23.
ON BEING A HERO.
Checkers Averts a Disaster and
HE IS A POPULAR HOBO.
Gets Three Cheers, $6 In Cash and ■
Job, Which He Loses Through the
Cruel Injustice Here Recorded—Be
ware the Gratitude of Wealth.
By M. QUAD.
[Copyright, 1911, by Associated Literary
IV whs an hour after dark and I
was walking the ties to get some
where when I came upon a big
rock that hnd fallen from the
bank in a deep cut and lay full on the
I ain't much on flggers, but I took It
to be as big as a bungalow and twice
If a train ninnn.tr fifty mles an hour
struck that rock some one would get
I bad never been introduced to any
of the officers of that road, but I took
chances and hoofed It up the track for
a quarter <>f ■ mile and built a fire be-
"EEBO, HAVE YOU NO DI9MUK TO HKPOUM?"
tween the rails. It has only got well
to going when a passenger truin shows
up and toots and comes to a stop.
"Who wants the waiter?" says the
conductor as he conies plodding along
to where I nm waiting.
"Rock on the track down there,"
"How big Is It?"
"Looks like a barn to me."
"Hey, Jim," he calls to the engineer,
"can we run over a rock as bbr as a
barn on this trip?"
"Not with the president of the road
in the hind car. He's a crank, you
know, and he's down on running over
anything blgger'n a yearling baby."
"This 'ere hobo says there's a big
rock on the tracks down in the cut."
"lliive you hit him for a liar?"
"Better do It right away, then, for
we nre already seventeen minutes
"If there hnln't nny rock down there,
then you look out!" says the conductor
as he turns on me.
"And If there is one then he carried
it there!" adds the engineer.
We walked down the track, and the
rock was right there. It looked to me
as If It had grown twice as big since
I left it.
"Durn my buttons!" yells the con
ductor at me as he hauls off with his
"Sock It to him. Dan!" cheers the en
My mnngled remains might have re
mained right there but for a lot of the
passengers coming up. Among them
was the president of the road, and
when he catches sight of the big rock
he rubs his hands together and says:
"Dear me, but on my road nt that!
I can't understand It. We advertise
this line as the anfmt In America, and
yet here is a stam- quarry on t!\e track!
Conductor, What would hsive happened
if the train bad hit that rockr
"Two hundred killed and Injured,
"And not one of us prepared to die!
Who is tills gentleman here?"
"I am no gentleman, sir, but n ho
bo," I replied for myself.
"Ah, I see, and I beg your pardon.
You discovered the rook aud built the
"Three ehoers for the hobo!" shouts
twenty passengers In chorus, and they
"You are a hero and muat be re
warded," snys the president.
"But ke used our wood to build the
fire," puts In the conductor, who per
haps tonic me for the hobo who had
blacked his eye some time in the past.
"And he inuy have pried the rock
loose himself," adds the fireman.
■When I wns firing on the K. and K.
road a hobo broke down a bridge 200
feet long Just to be called a hero and
get a few dollars In cash."
Gratitude In Chunks.
The president seemed about to go
back on me when the passengers began
to say nice things and take me by the
hand. One man shook both my hands
"Hero, I belong to the lumber trust,
and had we hit that rock tha prto* of
shingles might have dropped 40 par
cent In ten minutes. I nerer gly« cash
under such circumstanced as this, bat
when you get ready to build a soa
nhors cottage let me know. You shall
have your flooring at 20 off, and I'll
The Golville Examiner, Saturday, November 16. 1912
personally guarantee it free from knot
holes. Hero, I hall tliee!"
Then another man^stepped forward
to shake and to say:
"Within two minutes of death, and I
wasn't even repeating the Lord's pray
er! It's the rubber trust for me! Of
course, we manufacture rubber boots.
Give me your address that I may send
you a pair."
Then a third man advances with a
tender expression on his phiz and
shakes and says:
"Hero, you don't know what you
have done for me. My wife found a
dainty little note In my pocket and
started for Reno to get a divorce. I
am on my way there to head her off
by proving that I had accidentally
changed coats with a rounder In a bath
house. Had I been smashed up on
that rock her divorce would have gone
through a-kltiug, and my reputation
would have been blasted."
The Rat* Established.
Still another advanced. He left a
half dollar in my hand as he shook and
then feelingly said:
"Friend, don't take me for a tight
wad and thus make a great big mis
take. Tears ago I began handing out
a half every time my life was saved,
and the rate is thus established. I am
from Vermont and own a mountain up
there. Any time you feel like sliding
downhill come and visit me."
In the course of thirty minutes the
grateful passengers on that saved
train collected a purse of $0 for me.
It was really $6.40, but the man who
passed the hat charged the 40 cents for
his valuable services. In addition to
the money, I was given many kind
words, and while one sunk deep Into
my pockets the other salved my soul.
By and by the president of the road
gets around to me again and says:
"Hero, have you no desire to re
"I have, sir," I answer.
"Has this event aroused your ambi
tion to make something of yourself?"
"It surely has."
"Then I will aid you. Can you drive
Bright Hopes Dispelled.
With that he arranged that I should
become his family chauffeur, and two
days later I drove him out on a prac
tice spin. It was great practice. I run
Into a milk wagon and a load of hay,
tore down a fence, uprooted a tree,
smashed through a hedge, run down an
old man and finally brought up in a
blacksmith shop all ready for repairs.
"I thought you said you could drive
an auto?" exclaimed the president as
be seized the golden opportunity to get
"Yes, I did."
"Get out! Flee! Yanteh! Skate!"
"Am I bounced?"
"Ten times over!"
That was his gratitude. I hod hit
everything there was to hit, and yet be
calmly turned me adrift to fight my
battle with the cold world again. Look
sot for gratitude in high places.
As an uptown manufacturer and his
wife were motoring through the coun
try In Bucks county the wife saw an
apple orchard with several trees laden
with bright rod fruit. Her mouth wa
tered for apples, and she induced her
husband to stop the car and go into
As he put his foot inside he encoun
tered a man. "May I have some ap
ples?" he asked.
"Sure—help yourself." replied the
"How much will I owe you?"
"Oh, nothing—nothing nt all. I don't
own the orchard." said the man.—Phil
For Fussy Parents.
Some parents are always com
plaining because children make
too much noise. Wonder If they
ever think how quiet the chil
dren in the cemetery are.—Pitts
An Expensive Messenger.
The Judge—You say you don't get
The Complainant—l don't get It all,
your honor. It's only $5 a week, and I
need every cent of it.
The Judge—And what's the reason
you get only part of the amount?
The Complainant—lt's because my
former husband sends it to me by a
lawyer, and the lawyer charges me car
fare, brokerage, transportation and
time, and that leaves only 90 cents.—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Our Esteemed Contemporary."
"The Science of Phrenology."
"Trespassers on These Grounds Will
Be Vigorously Prosecuted."
"Any Friend My Husband Brings to
Dinner Is Welcome. Mr. Sykes."
"Doctor of Philosophy."—Chicago
"The people iv Noah's time were like
a great many modern business folk."
"They didn't know enough to come
in out of the wot, and so they natural
ly went under."—Baltimore American.
Wanted to Know.
"Gee: Now tell me us man to man
what you would do if you were mar
ried to that woman."
"You tell me what you would do. 1
am married to her."-Houston Post
The Proper Treatment.
"I have a terrible cold," he com
plained. "My bead feels all stopped
"Have you tried a vacuum cleaner?"
nhe queried sweetly.—Judge.
Show the EJuuniner to your Friend*
I AM up In astronomies, and in figures
neat and clerical
The orbits of the planets I've reduced
to the numerical—
The paths of all the comets and the other
It's really Just as simple as can be.
I can figure to a para^aiib' by methods
The route of any hoplite who has made a
And stopped till "Ho Clearchus" passed a
few remarks emphatlcal.
There's nothing any easier for me.
But a minus logarithm Is a model of lucid
The nebular hypothesis a bit of mere va
Incapable of causing me a jot of the timid
I feel for railway folders of the day.
Though "central time" and "eastern time"
mean something undeniable.
And reading up In place of down is never
And type that's black and light faced is
essential, still I'm liable
To board a train that goes the other way.
As to modern railway folders, I admit an
For grasping why the data which I'm
seeking with agility
Are always contradicted and reduced to
By microscopic footnotes down below.
For "making close connections" I confess
A folder's "a. and p. m.'s" only foster my
And, though perhaps I'm lacking in ap
I never find the thing I want to know.
—F. H. P. in Century Magazine.
Money talks, but sometimes it con
Some girls blush naturally. With
others it's all put on.
Lots of people live In the same
square who don't move in the same
Some men will give $1 to charity
and then spend $10 to advertise the
We are all apt to be generous to n
fault, if the fault happens to be one
of our own.
Where the bill collector Is concerned
absence surely mnkes the heart grow
Never strike a mnn when he is
.down, especially if you are going to
strike him for a loan.
Why is It that the people who don't
know right from wrong seem always
to be In the wrong?— New York Times.
"De mini dut nllers wonts de
biggest an' de most of every
thing," said Uncle Ebeu. "is lia
ble to pick up an ostrich an'
overlook de turkey bird."—Wash
A Genius Who Works.
Robert W. Chambers, the novelist,
was called a genius the other day at
the Century club In New York.
But Mr. Chambers, with bis wonted
charming modesty, denied that he was
"Unless, indeed." he added, "we ac
cept the definition that genius is 1 per
cent inspiration und 99 per cent per
spiration."—New York Tribune.
"Now that you have made your pile
I suppose you are happy."
"No; mother won't let mo see any
show I wanter. daughter won't lemme
wear anything I wanter. and the doc
tor won't lemme eat anything I want
A Touching Appeal.
"Say, mister, have ye got sech a
thing as a cigurette about ye? I've
bad sech a good dinner it'd be a
shame not to smoke after It."—Brown
Making a Guess.
Hard Looking Customer (slinking
into pawnshop i—Say. how much can I
get on this jjold watch?
Plain Clothes Policeman (suddenly
appearing)— Let me see it. H'm, my
friend. I think yell get about a year
on that—Chicago Tribune.
"How did you happen to loae ontt"
"Some of my misguided friends got
HP an automobile procession for me,"
Explained Congressman Whangdoodle.
"Most of the voters, however, have no
automobile."— Kansas City Journal.
Stella— Ton can't pnt an old head on
Bella—But you can put a new watat
line on any uged woman.— Judge.
The trouble with some of us
Is that we wait till we're triced
up by the thumbs before we'll
consent to take a brace.—New