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CaBBOIIB. Graves, KUemburg,
Ira P. Esolkhart, North Yaktma
QRAVEB & KNGLEHART,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Kooma 7 «nd 8, Second floor. Kir»t National
JQNES & GUTHRIE,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
i >rer First National Bank. North Yakima. WaaL
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
gtF-Ottire in Klrit National Bank Building.
gOGLE & KIUO,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
DfltaM over Yakinia National Bank, North
A M. LUEBING,
Oflice in Parton residence, tir.»t house
north oi Hotel Yakinia and opposite
Christian church. Office hours !• to
13a.m. and - to 5 p.m. Consulta
tion ami examination free.
Tl R. WELLS, M. D.,
Physician and Surgeon.
Formerly member of staff of Ashnry Methoilist
Hospital, Minneapolis, Minn.
Office aud residence, Kershaw block.
All cases promptly attended, night or ilay.
i)r. David rosser,
Physician and Surgeon.
1 . s. J'KNSIKS EXAMINER,
OStce over Jaueck Bros. Drug Store. Kttsl
■ence cor. 6th and Chestnut. Office hours: I
■. m. to 12 m.. and ■-' to 50. m.
fkank • Oi T. DtrUX
jJRS. FRANK & DULIS,
Physicians and Surgeons
Office over First National Bank
X-Ray Labratory. Telephone No. -">.
J^ E. BANKS,
Office over Schindeler's Jewelry Store. Yakima
venae. Kohl fakima
"J 1 d- REDFIELD,
Office bourn 9to 1 and 9tosp. m. Yakima Aye
j^ P. L'POIKE, D. M. D.,
(Successor to W. A. Gtddingß, D. D. X.)
Office, Dudley block. Yakima avenue, over
Hacdonald's store Hours from 8:30 to I'J a. in..
and 1 to 5 p. in
/^ UY Mac L. RICHARDS,
Treats all diseases of domestic animals.
North Yakima. Washington.
}ftT t W. KELTON.
CONTRACTOR and BUILDER.
Shop aii'l office on Chestnut Street, between
Firat and Second Streets.
VAKIMA COLLKCTIOX AGENCY,
Colletions and Commercial
Cliins nillected, secureit or renewed. A col
lector continually on the road. Office over
Filst National Bank, North Yakimi
THE FIRST NATION
AL BANK OF NORTH
YAKIMA OFFERS TO
W M 1 m.1,! I-.-m-1.-ii
rharle* Carpenter, Vice preai4eut
W. L. Steiuweg, Caihier
A. B. r.'llne, Assistant Canhier.
W. M. l.a-M, W. 1.. Btelnweg, Cbu. Carpeutei
H. B. Scndaer, W. B. Dudley.
This signature is on every box of the genuine
Laxative Brotno-Quinine T.bi et .
Urn remedy that mm • r»M la «w day
THE YAKIJHA HERALD.
THURSDA V, MARCH ~'S. 1901,
j in swel
Didn't Want a Cannon Ball.
A local enthusiast of gun and range
stepped into v hardware store on the
avenue the other day and inquired of the
clerk if they kept ammunition for the
"Yes, sir, we do," answered the clerk
with Confidence in his ability to under
stand tin 1 technicalities of lirearms.
"I'll take a box of :«»:? cartridges,"
said the customer.
"Gee whiz!" replied the astonished
clerk. "Three hundred and three! We
haven't anything as big us that; 45 cali
bre is the largest we have any call for."
"Do you think I want a cannon ball."
returned the enthusiast with a smile as
he proceeded to explain matters.
She Knew the Disease.
Mr. Snoogles, a well-known Second
street merchant, who is somctiines
troubled with an irritating rash, re
turned home the other day with" v
"breaking out" over his face that in
these days when everybody is afraid of
the dread disease might easily have been
mistaken for smallpox symptoms. He
told his wife he was not feeling well,
and lay down on a couch in the front
room to get relief. Shortly a woman
picture agent was admitted to the room
and proceeded to entertain the wife with
a long story of the superiority of her
wares over others. When she was about
half way through her speech-making
she happened to glance ut the couch and
the husband lying there with Hushed
and splotched face. Stopping suddenly
she inquired: »
"Is he rick?"
■'Yes, but not dangerous,'" replied the
"Oh, 1 know what's the matter!"
cried the picture agent, making a dash
for the door.
"Oh, I know what it is."
"It ig "
"I know what it is—you needn't tell
me!" anil she hurried away without
even looking back, while patient and
wife nearly exploded with laughter.
Men Arc Foolish, Too
Low is not alone confined to the let
ters of literary people, as one would
suppose from reading "Love Letters of
Literary Men and Women" recently
published; but in the byways and on
the highways of the everyday life of
those who make up the mass of the un
known it floats and soars with all the
beauty of music twanged from the
.Eolian harp at the hands of Venus. In
attest of this the following letter, picked
up from the street, is submitted:
Dearest Belovkd : Yesterday on the
train I asked the porter for some paper.
I started to write a letter to your sister,
when I discovered that some one else
had commenced a letter on the same
sheet. "Dear, Darling, Sweetest Jean
nette," it began. I immediately fell
into a reverie, shut my eyes and tried to
picture in my mind what kind of a girl
Jeannette was and what she looked like.
I concluded she must be a fair-haired,
dreamy-eyed, peachblow girl, daintily
gowned and supple limbed, a young ga
zelle with blushing cheeks and rosebud
lips pouting temptingly. I made up
in my fancy such a lovely picture of this
Jeannette that I fell to loving her my
self and wanted to make an armful of
her—circle her celestial waist and press
her throbbing bosom to my breast. I
I found myself growing jealous of the
smitten youth who had presumed to
think of iienning a letter to this sweet
nymph, and wanted to get his throat in
my grip and shut off his wind till his
eyen stuck out. Then along came the
negro porter and asked:
'•'Sense me, boss,but did you done see
a letter I was writin' to mah guhl?"
Alas! for my idol—my fair-haired
beauty that I kad in my mind's eye
fashioned to tit the title of "dear, darling,
sweetest Jeanette." Thus are the illu
sions ol youthdiipelled. Ah me:
I went to see
Tin- ntlier day two strangers were ou
Second street swapping stories, and in
cidentally entered inU> a lW»p ot a Win
chester rifle. In examining the death
dealing weapon OU of the men acci
dentally caused its discharge, which
raised a commotion quite uncommon to
the neighborhood. Some women near
by became unduly excited over the inci
dent, and their first impulse was to run
for an officer. Not seeing the city mar
shal near, one of them ran out a side
street and hailed him as lie chanced
along a parallel thoroughfare.
"Hey! Hey! Mr. Marshal!" shouted
the woman in strident tones. "Come
around the corner quick! There is a
man around there shooting at the small
When the marshal took the victims
before tin* police justice he sug
gested that the health officer ought to
spray for "accidental discharge of fire
Representative Rich Is Peevish,
lion. Nelson Rich returned frmn the
legislature last Saturday. In conver
sation with the Record editor Mr. Rich
expressed surprise that the people of
North Yakima should accuse him of try
ing to defeat the state fair appropriation,
when it was liy his earnest solicitation
that the appropriation was made. Hut
instead they give the credit to one who
surely knows, if he knows anything,
that he had no inrluance in the matter
Yakima Fruit In the Orient.
Them is a deßtaad in the orient for
Washington fruit, and this year then'
will be ijnitil a large business done be
tween China, Japan, Russia and this
state in this class nf ifaipntentc. Last
year for the first time, it is said, oriental
orders in any amount were received here
for apples. The shipments were in the
main to China from the Yakima coun
try, The very choicest of the fruit was
taken to till the orders, and advices from
the consignees are to the effect that
they arrived in splendid shape and
were readily disposed of.—Tacoma Led
The Finest Service to the East and South I
Tln> o. R. &x. Co., in connection
with the Oregon Short Line and I'nion
Pacific, offers the finest service and
fastest time to Salt Lake, Denver, Kan
sas City, Omaha, St. Paul, St. Louis,
Chicago, and all point* east. Three
trains daily from Portland, with choice
of many different routes. Palace and
tourist sleepers, library, dining and
chair cars on all trains.
Write A. L. Craig, general passenger
agent, 0. 11. & X. Co., Portland, Ore.,
DR. FORD 8 DYSPEPTICID
expells the noxious germs of dyspepsia
from the system, absolutely cures the
disease and causes the stomach to fur
nish healthy blood for tissue and nerve
building. "DR. FORD'S DYSPKPTI
CIDK thus differs from other remedies.
North lakima Drug Store.
The appropriation bill signed by the
govenor carries with it 110,000 for the
state fair winch will be held here this
Cot His Hair Back.
Frederick Munuell, Maryland block,
Butte, Montana, bought a bottle of Xew
bro's Ilerpicide. April 6, '99, and began
to use it for entire baldness. In 20 days,
he says,' he had hair all over his head,
and on July 2, he writes, and to-day my
hair is as thick and luxurant as any one
could wish. Newbro"s Herpicide works
on an old principal and with a new dis
covery—distroy the cause and you re
move the effect. Herpicide distroys the
germ that muses dandruff, falling hair,
and finally baldness, so that with the
cause gone, the effect cannot remain.
Stops falling hair at once and starts the
new growth in a week. 9-12
Xhe average pay of school janitors in
Greater Xew York is about one third
more than the average pay of women
teachers. The probable explanation is
that the janlton vote.
Given by the leadinx Yukima mer
chants by which a $400 LUDWIO
PIASO will be given away abso
lutely free to the organization or
lady voted the most popular by June
10, v.ioi. The following merchants
will issue ballou with each 25c rafch
STAR ri.OTHINCi HOISE.I. H. nilln &
fiCHOTT SHOK CO., Shoes.
NOKTH VAKIMA DRUO STORE, A. D.
D. S. KEENE. Expert Watchmaker and
YAKIMA KAKERV & RESTAURANT,
lutti i .v Mn■htrl. Propra.
C. M. BARTLETT, (irocer, next to P. O.
READS STEAM LAUNDRY, R. D. Read.
E. E. JAMES. Leading Photographer,
FiueHt Enlargements, Bent Platlno
I'ln iti»-. Views and Stamps.
HITTER BK(is., Dry Goods.
WALLACE COBI'RN HARDWARE CO.,
K. M. HARRIS, Grocer.
THE PAULOR GROCERY AND MAR
KET, F. E. Lauderdalr & Co., Proprs.
C. B. MrCONNELL, Furniture,
BRIGiiS t DAM. Hanoi and Organs.
NORTH YAKIMA MEAT MARKET,
A. J. chambers, Propr.
THE WONDER, Millinery, Mrs. L. B.
PUNA"" exhibition at Star Cloth tug
11AHV House, where ballot Box i« also
BRICGS A DAM, representatives lor
Finding a Fortune and
Founding a Fortune.
A TRAMP'S LUCK AND AN EN
ERGETIC MAN'S PURPOSE.
It is perhaps true as told that a tramp,
searching a garbage barrel for scraps or
refute food, found a fortune in good
United States currency. Such a thing
But the workman who gives up a
steady occupation however unremuner
ative to hunt garbage barrels for a fort
une will surely degenerate to a tramp.
There is a difference between finding a
fortune and founding a fortune. Pew
men chance upon fortunes. The fort
unes we know about are not found but
founded on a certain substantial basis.
The nature of that basis of fortune is
well set forth in the advice given by a
successful merchant to a young man
who asked, " What is .the first requisite
to making a fortune?" "The first re
quisite to making a fortune" said the
rich man, "is health." "The idea that
fortunes are made suggests toil and in
dustry and skill. Nothing can be made
without these. But a weak man cannot
toil, and industry is incompatible with
ill-health. If you want to be strong
remember that all physical strength
comes from food and that the amount of
strength extracted from food depends
upon the ability of the stomach to di
gest food and assimilate its nutrition.
The man who takes care of his digestion
is, in general, taking care of every other
organ of his body."
SUCCESS AND THB STOMACH.
The merchant who gave the above
opinion may not have been much of a
physician but he was a good deal of a
philosopher. He had seen men with
success almost within the grasp, break
down because of "stomach trouble."
He had theorized the saying that the
" weakest must go to the wall" into the
saying that " the man with the weakest
stomach must go to the wall," because
no man is stronger than his stomach.
The man who will learn this lesson of
success has taken a great stride to his
goal. Health is the first prerequisite of
success and health in general means a
<ound stomach and a good digestion.
J.ooU at the logic of the matter. Food
is a man's life, his strength. Physical
life is sustained by food. But the fact
that a thing can tie eaten doesn't make
it food. Many a physician practising in
the tenements of a city says of failing
men or women, " What - they need is
nourishing food." Shipwrecked men
eat scraps of leather, the bark of trees,
anything to satisfy hunger. But this is
not food in any true sense because it
contains no nutrition. All food must
be considered in relation to its nutritive
TOOK THEIR ADVICE.
Lleol. Trl*r Took m Ferry, Bat It Olu
Mot T»k« Him to Castt. Hlrard.
When Bear Admiral Sicard, who
took command of the North Atlantic
squadron the other day, was a captain
he was stationed for a time on the old
receiving ship Vermont in the Brooklyn
navy yard. To him Lieut. Hanson R.
Tyler, now retired, wea ordered to re
port for duty on the Vermont.
Tyler was a big, round, good-natured
Vermonter, with a long, nasal, down
cast drawl, and all the navy had nick
named him "Horse." It happened this
time that "Horse" reported four days
late, and Capt. Sicard was annoyed.
The captain was not a martinet, but he
was a believer in strict discipline and in
the fullest performance of duty. When
he was in command of a vessel it was al
ways shipshape. When he wan in com
mand of a navy yard tlmifrs moved oft*
as it was intended they should move.
So, when Tyler came aboard the Ver
mont Capt. Sicard ivu displeased be
cause of his tardiness.
"Good morning, Capt. Sioard."
drawled Tyler. "I am ordered to tin-
Vermont, and i am here to report t
you for duty."
"Good morning, Mr. Tyler," an
swered Capt. Sicard. "Will you have
the goodness to explain why you arc
four days late?"
"Certainly, captain," said Tyler, with
juiit the suspicion of a prin Baa an extra
attenuation in his drawl. "You see. niv
orders were to report abuuril the Vcr
niont at Boßton. I w<>nt to Boston mid
found that the Vermont was at lircmk
lyn. I didn't know whether to In in;;
Boston down to the Vermont or tin
value. When the stomach and the al
lied organs of digestion and nutrition
are diseased the nutrition contained in
food is imperfectly extracted and the
body fails of nutrition adequate to its
needs. The shipwrecked sailor living
upon scraps in which there is no nutri
tion is on a level with the man who eats
abundant nutritious food but whose
stomach with its allied organs is dis
eased and therefore fails to extract front
the food eaten the nutrition which is
the body's need.
SOUND STOMACH. SOUND MAN.
That is almost an axiom. The man
with • sound stomach and good diges
tion will in ordinary be a sound man,
because the nutriment of food is the life
and strength of heart, lungs, liver, kid
neys and every organ of the body.
The first need of a weak man is to
look after his stomach and his digestion.
There is the common seat of physical
weakness. How weak men
have been made strong;
strong of heart, liver, lungs,
kidneys, and other organ
by being made strong ot
stomach and strong of di
gestion has been told thou
lands of times by those
who have used Dr. Pierce.
Golden Medical Discover)-.
"I write to tell you ol
the great benefit I have re
wived from the use of Dr.
Pierces Golden Medical
Discovery," writes Mr. G. B.
Bird, of Byrnside, Putnam
;0., \V. Va. "It cured me
)f a very bad case of indi
gestion associated with tor
pid liver. Before I began
lie use of ' Goldeu Medical
Discovery ' I had no appe
ite; could not sleep nor
york but very little. The
ittle that I ate did not
igree with me, bowels con
tlpated, and life was a
nisery to me. I wrote to
Jr. Pierce giving the symp
oms, and asked for advicf.
You advised me to try the ' Golden Med
ical Discovery' so I began the use of it
and after taking four bottles I felt so
well that I went to work, but soon got
worse, so I again began the use of it and
used it about eight weeks longer, when i
was permanently cured. I took in all
twelve bottles of the ' Discovery' and
some of Dr. Pierces Pleasant Pellets in
connection with the 'Discovery.'"
Dr. Pierces Golden Medical Discov
ery cures diseases of the stomach an<l
other organs of digestion and nutrition.
It cures through the stomach diseases
which seem remote from that organ but
which have their origin in disease of the
stomach and its allied organs.
There is no alcohol in "Golden Med
ical Discovery" and it is entirely free
from opium, cocaine and other narcotics.
Persons suffering from disease in
chronic form are invited to consult Dr.
Pierce by letter, free. All letters held
as strictly private and sacredly confi
dential. Address Dr. R. V.' Pierce,
Buffalo, N. V.
There is no similar offer of free con
sultation by letter or free Medical ad
vice which has behind it an institution
such as the Invalids' Hotel and Surgical
Institute, Buffalo, N. Y.
There is no similar offer of free medical
advice which has behind it a physician
of Dr. Pierces skill and success. In a
little more than thirty years Dr. Pierce,
as chief consulting physician to the
Invalids' Hotel and Surgical Institute,
assisted by his staff of nearly a score ot'
physicians, has treated and cured hun
dreds of thousands of men and women.
IS YOUR LIFE WORTH 21 CENTS?
It may often happen that the issue of
life or death depends upon knowing
what to do and how to do it in a crisis.
Dr. Dierce s Common Sense Medical
Adviser is full of helpful information
which may at any time mean the saving
of a life. This great work containing
1008 large pages Is sent free on receipt
of stamps to pay expense of mailing
only. Send 31 one-cent stamps for the
cloth-bound volume or 01.lv 21 stamps
for the book in paper-covets. Addrew
Dr. R. V, Pierce, Buffalo. N. V.
Vermont up to Boston. While Itiasde
bating the matter I not a telegram from
the depurtmont (he pulled it out anil
showed it to Cupt. (Sicanl) that said 'For
Boston in jour orders r«id Ilrookl.vn,'
bo I came down to New York yester
day. I'd never been in l'r<ol:l\ n. so I
asked a man how to pet the Brooklyn
navy yard, and he said I'd better tal.e
a ferry, bo I took a ferry, and when I
got off I usked a man how to fret tn the
Brooklyn navy yard, and he suid:
'Take a ferry.' I asked him what that
place waa, and he said: 'Staten Island.'
So I took a ferry, and when it stopped it
was in a place a mun suid was Coinimini
paw. I naked him how to get to the
Brooklyn navy yard, and he said: 'Take
a ferry.' I thought it mn*i a pood
place for me to be around loo«<* in at
night, so I got a hotel and went to bed.
and this morning I hired n boy for 50
cents to pilot me to the Brooklyn navy
yard; and, by the way, captain, have
you got that sum in your clothes?"
And they say "Horse"Tvler got off. —
N. Y. Sun.
Oxford university uns published an
incomplete list of u:i* Oxford- men
who have pun- to the war.
Tile Yale faculty anil corporation
are eoaai^rlag the advUability of
opening a bank for the use of college
Of the 401 women Httiftents in the
I'niverKity of Paris »ome are repre
sented in all the courser. i-\i-ept the
Foley's Honey mad Tar
butta lungs mad stops the cougb.