noimmi ,11 the wash.
The Model Husband: Tries Again
to Displace His Hired Girl.
Mr. Bowser cnme home the other
day and wanted the hammer for
something, writes Mrs. Bowser in
the Detroit Free Press. He found
it in the kitchen, where the girl
had been using it as a poker for the
range. Mr. Bowser gave expres
sion to his outraged feelings. The
girl replied with a good deal of
spirit and after supper she got her
wages and walked olf . Had I been
the causo of her going Mr. Bowser
would have read me a lesson forty
rods long. As he was the cause, it
was all right. He'd like to see the
hired girl who could run hia house
while he lived didn't propose to
take "sass" from anybody wished
he had discharged her outright, etc.
All this happened on. Monday.
Tuesday is our wash-day. I didn't
think of it until after the girl had
gone. Then I said to Mr. Bowser:
" You'll have to hunt around in
the morning and get me a washer
woman. It would have beenbetter
to let the girl stay a day longer."
"Not a minute longer."
" But about the washing ? n
"I'll find a woman or do it my
self." After breakfast he took a walk
through the locality where washer
women abound, but his quest was a
vain one. He came back to the
house about 9 o'clock and said :
"Mrs. Bowser, I have decided to
do the washing myself.'"
"I will. I'll do it as a matter of
principle I don't propose to have
this house upset because one hired
girl gets her back up and quits."
- " Let the washing go and I'll find
a woman to do it."
" Not by a jug full. That wash
ing will all be on the line before
"Mr. Bowser, you. can't wash,
you will only rub the skin off your
knuckles, lame your back, and make
a great muss of it."
" I will, eh ? That's all you know
about it I Now,. then,. I don't want
vou to come fooling around. Don't
you show your head in the base
ment until the last rag is on the
Mr. Bowser got into an old pair
of. pants and. a vest, changed his
boots for slippers, and disappeared
down stairs and at once started a
fire. 1 knew what the result or his
efforts would be, and while he wTas
at the barn for wood I ran down
and rescued most of the fine clothes.
He didn't notice the- faet and in- a
few minutes had the water heating,
He had seen clothes boiling and
the water was no sooner hot than
he filled the boiler helter skelter.
I heard him at it and started down
stairs to tell him that elothes must
be rubbed first."
" Go right back ! " he yelled as I
struck the first stair.
" But you are making a great mis
take, Mr. Bowser, you should't "
"I know my business, and you
iro bnckf If I don't know more
e . ,
alout washing in one minute than
you do in a week, I'll, eat these ta
ble-cloths and sheets !
He boiled the clothes about half
on "hnm and then came up and
rummaged around the pantry.
kuppose he had read' of some sub
stance to put into the boiler to save
rubbing, but he wasn't clear as to
what it was. He therefore took a
half-pound can of baking-powder
and sifted it in to the last pinch. J
heard him up stairs, and half sus
pecting what ho. was after, ran to
head him olf, but too late.
"Mr. Bowser!" I called from the
head of the basement stairs, "are
you putting that sal-soda into the
"S-: -nuivrs !" he grbwhl in
reply. "When I don't know my
business I will apply for ' informa
tion!" Mr. Bowser knew that blu ing wns
part and parcel of the laundry bus
iness. He had even seen a tub of
blue wrater. At what stage of the
game this blue business came in
he didn't know, and ho was too ob
stinate to inquire. He took the
clothes direct from the boiler and
sozzled them into a tub of cold wa
ter, and, not knowing how much of
the blue to Use, he decided to empty
in the whole bottle and be on the
safe side. He had a pretty fair
quality of writing-fluid when , the
water was stirred up. At this point
I called to him :
41 Mr. Bowser, how far along have
" Don't you worry about me, Mrs,
Bowser. I'll have the whole shoot
ing match on the line in half an
He put the wash-board into the
blue tub and began to rub the
clothes in the cold water. He might
have had a faint suspicion that
something had been left olf the
program, but he made up for it in
energetic rubbing. He went wash !
wash! wash! for about twenty min
utes, and then there was an awful
flopping and splattering, as if a
dozen ducks were playing in the
water he was rinsing the clothes,
He wasn't over five minutes about
it, and then he appeared in the back
yard with a basket full of clothes
to hang over the line. At sight of
him I had to sit down. The clothes
were plum blue and Mr. Bowser
was plum bluer. "The great and
only tatooed man" couldn't hold e
candle to him. Just as he appear
ed in the back-yard a farmer's wife,
who sells us eggs, opened the back-
gate and walked in.
"Good Lor', but what is this?"
she ejaculated, as she stood with
open mouth. " It's only me," re
plied Mr. Bowser; " I've been wash
e, ITT f lift TTl
- washing wnatr Why, man,
you've spoiled everything there,
to the last dud! Is your wife sick,
dead, or run off ?"
"Arn't these clothes right?"
"Man! man! but even a heathen
would know better!"
Just then one of Mr. Bowser's
down-town friends drove through
the alley in a buggy. He could see
over the fence, and when he saw
Mr. Bowser he pulled up his horse
so quickly that the animal almos
" Is that yot, Bowser? " he called,
"Well, what in the name of pas
ages are you doing ?"
"JNothing! I ll bet ten to one
you're fitting yourself for a museum
freak. Say, old man, you have hit
it! Just file your, teeth to a pom
and you'll pass for a genuine can
He drove on and the egg woman
backed out of the gate and said:
"I've been furnishing you three
dozen a week and I've never missed
a Tuesday, but I give you notice
that I don't come no more. It
would be taking chances. A man
as light in the head may be all right
one day and werry wiolent the next
Love to your excellent wife, and I
am sorry for her."
Mr. Bowser entered the kitchen
in three jumps. I sat there laugh
ing until I could hardly breathe.
He towered above me like a mount-
o try it? Didn t I do my best to
keep you from trying it?"
"No! Never! You encouraged
me to go ahead!"
" Don't Mr. Bowser me ! This is
the end! The worm turns! We'll
settle matters this very day! "
But Mr. Bowser is still with me,
and I have no doubt we will live
and die together.
ORDER OF PUBLICATION.
IN TILE CHANCERY COURT 0E BENTON
COUNTY, TENN.-C. S. BRANDON VERSUS
BURRELL EAR I'.
IN this cause it appearing to the
Hork and master from the petition of
C. S. Brandon, which is Rworn to, and
by which he ee,Us the enforcement of &
nil for fees as solicitor in the cause of
Burrell Euro et aln versus V.. F. Beasley
et fll8.,suid I). B Thomas et hIh., vorstip
Burrell harp et als., upon certain lands,
that the said Burrell Earp is a non-resident
of the State of Tennessee and a resi
dent of the State of Missouri. Itistlrere
foe ordered that the said Burrell Earp
enter hi appearance and make dofense
to said petition on or Derore the third
Monday in March next, or the same will
be taken for confessed and the cause set
for hearing expiirte as to trim.
September 29, ISflO.
TOM C. RYE,
No. 23-24 :4j Clerk and Master.
Illlalaatils Town Lot for Sale
ON Saturday, October 25, 1890, at
the east door of the court, house in the
town of Camden, Benton Countv Tenn
will offer for sale to the highest bidder
on a credit of six and twelve months, equal
payments, except a cash payment sum
cient to pay cost, tc, lot No. 19, situated
on the west side of the public square in
the tovn of Camden, knowu as the Hart
ley lot, and to be sold bv decree of the
county court of said Bentcm County at its
August term 1S9U. lhe purchaser will
be required to give note and approved se
curity for the purchase money, and a lien
will be retained on the property ifor the
same, bale at 1 o clock p. m.
September SO, 1890.
W. A. STEELE, jb.
No. 24-24 :4 Clerk and Commissioner
E. M, McAULEY,
OFFICE OVER McDAJJIEL & FltY'S STOKE
Camden, Teini. '
WW hereafter spend the first and third weeks
of each month hi Camden; the second week at,
big sandy; and the fourth at iioiimiav. u.um.
S. L. PEELER
Attorney at Law,
OFFICE AT THE COURT-HOUSE.
it A I F ' 1 T L J
ivi .yiiu u-
rowerfril, Penetrating. Quickest and
Surest of all liniments forthecureof llheuma-
t. irm Knrft Throat-. T?in-tirnrm .Ttnitans. Snrains.
lavvciiuina, r rosi, jjiusB, v ea. xiacK, etc.
run nunsca, mis unimem 13 unerraauea Decause 01 its creat penetrating
Strength. Highly recommended for Spavin, Splint, "VVindgalls, Epizootic.
Scratches, SwellingB, Sprains, Saddle and Harness Galls, JEtc 50c per Bottle.
V111 give careful attention to all business eih
trusted to my ewe. Collections a specialty
Also insurance agent for Knoxville und other
good companies. J:lv.
Having recently purchased a new chair and
other new articles tending to the comfort of my
patrons, I now have facilities to Hliave, sham
poo and do hairr uttlng that are second to none.
Thanking the public for pant patwmge, and so
lisiting u continuance of the same,
CfT"My sliop is fine door east of the Stigall
House, (live me a call. 7:iy. ,
aiu over a mouse, and after chok
ing arid gasping for a minute he
finally roured out: ,
" Mrs. Bowser, you nave finally
done it havn't you?"
" What have I done?"
" What have you done! Got me
to do the washing and give myself
away for an infernal idiot! Look
at me! Look at them duds in the
" Mr. UowrJ : didn 1 1 1 ell yon not
Castorla promote Dlge&tiom, nnd
overcomes Flatulency, Constipation, Sour
Stomach, Diarrhoea, and Feverishness.
Thus the child is rendered healthy and its
sleep natural. Castoria contains no
Morphine or other narcotic property.
" Castoria Is so well adapted to children that
I recommend It as superior to any prescription
known to me." II. A. Acukb, M. D.,
88 Tortland Ave., Brooklyn, K. V.
" I oso Castoria In my practice, and And It
specially adapted to affections of children."
Alxx. Rotikrtson, M. D.,
4057 5!d Ave.. New York.
Tnu Ckntacb Co., 77 Murray St., N. T.
TO ANY ADD RES
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St. Louis, Mo.j
IF VOU AlR!OIN(t
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or any point In the
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AVhen buying ticket be sure to ask for and be
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C. P. Atmokk,
General Passenger Acrcnt
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To obtain prompt and quick service, order yenr
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CENTRAL R. R.
For maps, raies, folders, or any other informa
tion, apply to
A. 11. lliNsoK. (ieneral Piusseitger and Ticket
Agent, Chicago, ill.
A. J. Knait, Assistant GenerRl Freight ud
Passenper AgeJrt, Memphis, Tenn.
11. Ti'f'KKii, (ieneral Freight Agent Northern
1). 11. Mok k Y. ieneral Freiglrt Agent SonUiern
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T J. Hudson, Traffic Manager, Chicago, 111.
M. C Makkham, Assisiairt Traffic Manager,
Chicago, Hi. lout.
J. W. ARNOLD,
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I am prepared to do all kinds of work i my
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A. II. Robinson, Ticket Agent, Maxwell Housu.
W. W. Knox, Ticket Agent, Union Depot.
W. L. Danlkv, (ieneral Passenger Agent.
J. W. Thomas, General Manager.
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