Newspaper Page Text
O -ik j 1t sjfc, t. U
A 111 Wl!3 M-
'Y Jl't.UN K
I have a ktory for the wokm n's ilght.i
(i'i vo( ah :i to w avo Into tin ir arguim nt
In n they r,' to All.at y thin winter to
argue f-r thorn ' i f i I -a which the
rex1 can have whenever it wants ti.r m.
but w ild Ii It dots not po:,;e;-:i bicauso
-iily a few women desire them. This
l.i the best story I ever heard for :i
woman's rights argument, because it
ihowa how a woman forsook her own
flairs, invaded the man's held of prae
(ieal affairs, ami made him rich ar:iinst
The curtain risen in Minnesota. Tho
rceno la a view of a small tract of hurl
half farm and half garden with a
uodest frame dwelling in the fore
ground. Tho prim 1 1 r 1 charmters are
i. man and hl.i wife; type ordinary,
J-l-e 40, means ;V;0 i:i bank and tlie
lotngo 'and grounds; i-.im i:i life, to
work a little longer, to Have a little
larder and then to rent to loaf along
to the. cemetery.
Unknown to this couple some expert
prospectors in tho pay of tho men, who
wire then about to form the groat sdeel
tombine have been spying out the laud
in that section, which is known to
ihovv sigr.s of rich deposits of iron
ie. TIuvo opens have all agreed that,
the little piece of land owned by this
couple together with the land on
either f'de rf their plot promises a
rroater yiem in quantity and a richer
yield in quality than any other laud
in that part of the state.
But, as I have said, the married pair
a:e wholly ignorant of all this.
Enter the hired girl. She speaks:
Hired Girl A letthor, sir.
The. Mar. Ah! What have we here?
The Wife Why not read it and sec?
The Man (keeping up the pretense of
Leing the superior person and lording
it over the wife yet a little longer be
fore the exposure of his wretched con
ceit) How dull you are! How you
would botch everything in your life
were it not for me. A letter is not a
morsel tossed to a hungry cur, to be
flown at and choked down at a gulp.
A letter Is in a way the embodiment of
mystery and the chrysalis of fate. It
may break to us the chilling news of
death it may convey the tidings of
a marriage, a birth "
She Oh, it may be Thompson's bill
for the fertilizer; but, .for heaven's
take, read it.
He (looking at hereornfully, but
leadiDg the envelope, takes out the Iet
.ter and reads) :
" '"CLlcago, Feb. , 1900: Dear Sir
Some parties in this city whom I rep
resent are desirous of meeting you to
talk! over the business outlook in your
section and desire me to invite you to
come to Chicago for that purpose. They
hope that you will bring your wife and
have placed at your disposal a suite of
rooms in the Auditorium Hdtel, which
will be at your disposal from Wednes
day morning next '
She They want to buy our place and
I am to go with you so as "
He (reading) "A reply by wire will
greatly oblige. Yours truiy,
"T. Jenkinson, Sec'y."
She I am td go with you in order
that I may sign the deed." .
He (taken off his guard, begins to'
reveal his inferiority) vny, I Delieve
you are right. I never should have
thought of it.
The curtain falls, and between the
acts the railroad transports the wedded
pair to Chicago, which, to their west
ern minds, is a genuine and magnifi
cent metropolis. its toul river, its
searching winds, its easily avoidable
dirt and dust and the troops of hag
card, dyspeptic men, rushing along the
streets and talking to themselves,
teem to them necessary to and insep
arable from a world's capital. Even
the noise and bustle in the hotel and
the combined efforts of all within its
walls to destroy all sense of repose and
comfort are, in their eyes proofs of
the perfection of the place. Once shut
in their splendidly appointed suite of
rooms they feel deserted and lonely,
nnd both are seized with an irresistible
desire to drop down the elevator shaft,
to squeeze through the crowds in the
office and to fit themselves in the hu
man hurly burly of the street and
chase madly along the pavements.
.He I suppose if we should stay here
a week we would both mutter to our
selves like true Chicagoans, saying
over and over again, "Wabash SC 1-4,
Consolidated condensed milk 102, Ar
gonaut preferred 77 1-8." Would it not
be glorious! How like being in heaven
it must be to be a Chicagoan, dreaming
stock quotations, eating stock quota
tions and breathing the air oi the ex
change. She And actually seeing the cos
tumes of the ladies, which are bought
with these same quotations instead of
merely reading about them in the pa
pers. Again the curtain falls, and when It
rises they are still in Chicago, but now
find themselves, in the top of a 30-story
office building, whose windows com
mand an unbroken view of the lake
3 one side and of the city on the
ether the latter resembling a squat
tody with numberless curving leg3
I'i :i( !.': to the ii,il:'n:i fl'f,, a i!u M
('Irei jioriv. Tiie lily, .or I ody, p.-r-'i'ir
;j i :i:;d faiiuho '!., if it wei
a en at ure Inf-Tiial, w I tl" the f
!i;.' trtlm i.:al. the h of the octo
P',::i quiver an with life atrl movement.
The room in which lie mid she find
th' iiiMhen Is f':rni' l;c l in the co: (li
cit manner. The mnnti lpleoi. is e.-.n;, 1
sltely carved marble, supported upon
columns of onyx. The electroliers are
golden. The furniture. a carved man-i-y
rosewood, it; h.jbtered with rich vel
vet. The 21 spittoons on tho floor ap
pear to be bowls cut out of solid gold,
and the heavy silk rugs are from tho
loyal looms of I'er.sla.
She Ask them .",0,003. and do not
take a cent less, if they want our prop
erty. He (unconsciously abasing himself
by surrendering to her shrewd guid
ance) Won Id you? Perhaps we might
not get so much. We only paid $11,030,
you know. Hut. Martha, I almost feel
as you do. This is a palace. These
people would not he scared if I asked
T'0,000, would they?
Sho Fifty, sure; may be more, but
never a cent lens.
A door leading into the room opens,
ami enter four gentlemen. They are
not especially portly. They wear no
jewels, and their raiment Is not noisy.
Hut tuey bring with them an atmos
phere of great worldly solidity, of lux
ury and confidence, and peace of mind.
Though their dress in sober, it is made
of the softest cloths, and fits them as
maidenly modesty fits a girl child's
face. They are white-haired, yet rosy
faced. They cat and drink tho best.
Their shoes carry them with a stately,
proud gait, and sink deep in the noise
less pile upon the floor.
lie sees nothing of all this. She sees
r.nd feels it completely. He is won
dering whether he dares to ask $."0,000
for his $11,000 place. She feels that for
the first time in her life she is in tho
very presence of some of the fabulous
fortunes of which she had read so
Remember that though I am writ.ng
this great comedy in dramatic form it
is a true story of what really happened
at the close of last winter. I had the
farts from a very sober man of great
affairs in Wall street a man who
knows and has accomplished whatever
he wishes. If I told his name no
American would question a word of
the story. I am sorry I have not per
mission to add to his story the con
vincing hail mark of his identity.
The spokesman cl the quartet of
great millionaires speaks:
The Spokesman You are Mr. ,
I presume? And I think we have also
tho pleasure of meeting your wife, Mrs.
He Yes, I am the man you sent for
to come here.
The Spokesman Well, Mr. , I
do not see why we should beat about
the bush. We have been "buying land
here and there in the neighborhood of
your little place and Lave taken a
fancy to your piece of ground. We
would like to make yoji an offer for it.
At this point the wife reaches over
and plucks at her husband's coat
sleeve. He- has been about to reply
by asking the sum he and she had
agreed upon as their price. But she
pulls his sleeve so hard that he pauses
and lean3 toward her. She whispers
something in his ear.
He shaken his head as if her renark
was a foolish interruption. He pulls
away from her and clears his throat
Again she plucks at his sleeve. Her
face is strained with excitement and
anxiety, her eyes shine with eager
ness and earnestness. He pulls himself
farther away anu she says out loud:
She Yes; yes; I tell. you, yes.
He Oh, you are crazy.
The Spokesman May we hear from
you, sir, what price you set upon your
She (whispering) Henry, do as I
say. I tell you I am right.
He (disdaining even to look at her)
Well, gentlemen, the truth is I am not
particularly anxious to sell. We bought
that little place to end our days in.
Of course, if money were made an ob
ject to me, I would part with it, but
I w6uld not take less than "
She Centlemen, will you excuse us
a minute? I want to take my husband
aside. I want to go into another room
and say something to him privately.
The Spokesman Why, certainly,
madam; you can go into that room
(points to a door). We are in no hur
ry and if we buy we want all hands
to be satisfied.
He I do not want to talk the thing
over any more than I have. Martha,
you are acting crazy. Gentlemen, if
we sell our little nest we shall want
fifty thou "
She (rising with great excitement
and speaking sharply and loudly) Wo
want one million dollars. We will not
take a cent less. I will not sign that
deed for a cent under a million. We
know you want it and you have got
the money. A million is our first and
He, about to disclaim any share in
this wild and senseless dream, is about
to speak, but is interrupted.
The Spokesman Very well, madam,
we are prepared to give a million. If
that is satisfactory we will have the
deed drawn up and will ask you both
to call again thi3 afternoon or tomor
row and Eign it.
(Last curtain.) .
What Mud of a t,;v,ro i!:;. the
"Woman W ho !),!( d" (in feti"n) cut
beside this ()!( The V,'oi;i i:i Who Iid?
There are pbi.ty of mi:) wlu: bo.i.-t
t!';t they never mm :i!t t!.i- t:v,
i'i'i,:i matti i'i! of h::.-i.iM .;. i.'irne i ay
th'-y wkh to sparo th'ir whe.-j all un
I'.cci ary care. Oilnrs sny that their
wive;, have not h- tit. , enough to be
of j.ny ai-istanee In the serious and
practical affairs of trace. Let all sm :i
ii'cn ponder this slory. This Minneso
ta woman Is not unique, hi not without
thousands of counterparts iinmni; her
shito; hood. It stands to reason, then,
that a great meny men are missing tho
shrewdest assistance, and are looking
alar for counsel and for wealth while
iiilhrdng better than they seek, because
It l,i so close at hand at their fin
I am not a woman's rights man. 1
know that whatever rights that sex
wants it can have on tiu day it de
cides to have thrm. Hut, all the same,
this story makes a better woman's
rights argument than &ny of which the
agitators have yet made use. 'New
York Mail and Express.
WHAT FATHER WANTED TO KNOW.
How n Convolution IIcliil Inu to I lie Son'
Itullei tol A p;MMinin';! 1 : i I 1 .
It was with surprise and horror
that the parents of a good, gentle
and well-behaved high school boy in
Lrooklyn saw their son appear at
dinner cn a recent Saturday evening.
His eyes were swollen, his face was
black, his eyelids would not wink
without giving him evident pain, hi
neck was sua, his hands were bound
up in cotton bar.dngps, purple linger
ends and wrists showed. His left
ana was used as little as possible, he
limped with both feet and it was
plain that his back hurt him when
his shoulder blades chanced again.t
his chair back.
"What is the natter, my poor, poor
Dicky?" cried his mother, from her
head of the table.
"Whore have you been, sir?" asked
his father. Both spoke at once, and
he answer them both:
"Nothing's the matter. Ecen to
He sat down in his place at table,
while his mother poured forth pity
and questions and his father regarded
him in stern silence.
The boy looked only at his mother,
and answered her only in monosylla
bles. She inferred that some ve;y
wicked boy had attacked him wholly
without provocation, and that, en
gaged in self-defence, this woe had
befallen her darling. He had not said
so, but mothers like to infer the
After dinner his father detained
him for a private interview. The boy
looked him square in the eye.
"H'm! The noble art of self-defence?"
inquired the father in a low,
"Well, there is not enough left of
you for mc 1o give you what you de
serve. It won't do to let your moth
er know it. But, sir, if this ever
happens again I will do up what's left
of you myself before your mother. Do
you understand me?"
The boy winced. Ho adores his
mother. He knew his father never
! threatened him in vain.
I "All right, pa," he said manfully,
I and stalked toward the door.
"Look here," inquired the father,
1 coming after him, and his voice trem
bled with curiosity. "Were you
i A smile suited to the solemnity
l tho crisjs illuminated the boy's blue
black face and shone with the joy
! of conquest in his battered eyes:
! "You ought to see the other feh
low!" he said. Eagle.
JnpsinpRe Forcolain Keptim.
In the manner of repairs those won
derful followers of principle and truth
in art, the Japanese, have a lesson to
teach us. When a Japanese connois
seur breaks some precious peace of
pottery or porcelain, he does not throw
it away with disdain, neither docs he
try to deceive the casual observer into
tne belief that it is unbroken . In
stead, he has it joined together, gen
erally with gold lacquer, in such a
fashion that the fracture is boldly
shown and commented on, as it were,
by the frank exposition of tho method
by wnich it is made good. Curiously
enough, a distinctly new and charm
ingly decorative effect is in most cases
added by these irregular gold lines,
while the sense of craftsmanship is
tickled by the marvelous skill exhibit
ed by the repairer in thus welding to
gether the two dissimilar materials.
Truth is preserved at no loss of artistic
beauty; indeed, once more it is made
clear that the two may always walk
hand in hand. The Connoisseur.
A ' ielil for Arrlmp-tloTUt.
A prehis.Tic town near Adichanal
lar, India, i roves to have been of largo
sie, and promkes to yle d an extraor
dinary variety of interesting objects.
More than 100 acres have been reserved
for explorations, while the rerva'ns ar
found considenb.y beyonu that area.
About 1S0l) "ur.ous objects of bronze,
iron and pcttrry have been i nearthed
already. togetuer with srvn oval
shaped ornaments cf pure gold.
. H USAl .V.V.-
Hm ISii". or IMi hiiiIhikI.
Swiftly tho dew of tho gleaming nro fiill-
I'ltlntlv tho bunion of I)ioaml;in.l nro call
in O, iH'iirUn, my darling, tho id f-flu to
llu; Bhinlng-ejod folk from tho hUUUU are
I' tho inooiiMiInn tho wild-applo MoMoam
And lou lor and louder whero tho white dews
Tho far-ii way bush's of Dreamland nro call
ing. Tho Christian Itcglster,
Tlin imticiir liie-i:ntrr.
Here'H the way to swallow a night
light, wick and all, together with the
oil in which it floats. The candle U
cut from apple, and the wick is a bit
of almond, which burns because of tho
il it contains. The night light Is
nit out of an almond; a little pointed
Piece of tho same nut will represent
the wick, while the oil i nothing but
v ater. Ju.st as you are about to
f wallow the night light, apparently,
flame and all, give the tumbler a little
shako, which will r.er.d the light to
the bottom, extinguishing k and cool
irg it instantly. You will iimb-nM-d-1
astonish the spectators, to who;::
the sight of a fire-eater will certainly
V. lat: Our .i'itnlf!iH!fr Ale.
Tlie meats of our grandparents wore
roasted in front of open fires instead
of being baked in ovens as today,
whila the more solid kin hs of vege
tables boiled in kettles swung from
cranes. Cabbages were brought to tho
tabic in their original chape.
The usiml Saturday dinner was
1 oiled salt codfish, in order that
what was left over might bo usort the
next morning. For dinner on Sunday
baked beans, "rye'n injun" bread, anil
baked Indian pudding were custom
ary. The favorite supper dish consisted
of flapjacks. These were griddle
cakes cooked in a huge pan. each one
being a3 large as the pan. They were
liberally buttered as fast as taken
'l'biii the fire, and sprinkled with
mown sugir. When a dozen or so
had been piled up; they were served
in wedges. Doughnuts nut-cakes they
were then called sugared cookies,
with caraway seeds in them, mince
pies, and cup custards were consid
ered the proper adjuncts for each
meal. Morning Star.
"Mamma, oh, please, mamma,
can't I go fishing with the boys?"
Leila cried, clasping her mother's
Hinds in eager little fingers. 'Flora
Calkins went with her brothers one
day and she catched a 'pumpkin seed'
fish and Fred catched a ell, an' I do
want to go so bad."
'"A ell' is certainly a remarkable
catch," replied her mother, laughing,
"but I think you are rather small
to go fishing. The creek is some dis
tance away, and I should not feel
quite safe about you."
"I'm two whole months over six,"
Leila pleaded, "and I have walked to
tlie creek ever so many times, and
I'll be sure and remember to be very
safe: and oh, please, mamma, say
I can go," she begged, a3 her broth
ers marched up. to the porch, poles
over their shoulders, and their hands
full of big pails for lunch and little
pails for bait.
"Don't let her go, mamma," said
one of the twins. "Girls just bother
and they talk and scare the fish
away." Leila did not wait to hear
what the second twin said, for the
twins always did and said exactly the
same things, but she turned eagerly
to her brother Roy. He looked at
the anxious little face, where every
line and pucker was saying as loud
as it could "I want to go fishing so
and said: "If you will only let
her go, mamma. I'll take first rate
care cf her."
"Well, maybe," Leila's mamma be
gan, but Leila knew what "well"
meant, and grateful little lips stopped
the rest of the sentence, and she got
all tangled up in the lines and bait,
trying to show Roy what a good, kind
brother she thought him. She was so
happy and excited that even the twins
relented and fixed her up a small pole,
with one of their best "sinkers" on
the line and a perfectly new hook
(which is supposed to be more lucky),
and mamma put in sandwiches and
sponge cake for her lunch, and Roy
'carried a wrap, for, although it was
August, the day was a little cool, while
the twins gave so much wise advice
about fishing and mamma so much
about keeping out of danger that her
head was quite in a whirl, but finally
they were off, Leila insisting on car
rying her own pole, just as the beys
When they reached the creek one
of the twins they have names, but
there is really no use in telling them,
for they look precisely alike, and if
you knew their names you couldn't
Ml whh-h .:
hool- v i i ( a
h. r to a M.
f:"m III- ; !r;
II. ! t of t (.ah;
!h t mv;,
'. v. !m re 1
t.i i.lt i :i
ll.'f ill 111 1 Ii.
vo'i Willi; sou.
ii'el I will he
th i a
'-i Jiffy. Wo are j-
ho tech a f. w stcpn "to th.; i'i ;
II"!"." Tho I!!., ii,,,, a
place, whero the hin.e.st tbh V.eio
h'.'d to stay, it VV(.,lt ,a!f v ry a...j.!H
.'io (rod; and wa, ,!,.. ,.n,,ii-;i so
It, Just covered tie; twliia oars. !,..
onus,, they hoi), ,il In one day, and
Iho toim of their curly head. wa r.U
that showed, and it was that nmu
"Hy hair the big boyH grabbed and
r-iih ii thorn out by.
For a while after tho bovs left I.eihi
shed very attentively, watching tho
line; closely lor a nibble, and pukhr;
her hook 0ut every few minutes to
soo if a fish didn't happ-n to bo ou if,
hut was ko( ping eo still thc eor.hln't
I'd it, hut there was never anything
moi. than just the hook, fom.tuioii
hare and sometimes with a piece, of
1'ait dangling to it, r-nd finally grow
ing tired of fish that "Just at- !!:::-
and didn't bile," as she oxie i!:,! ,! to
her brothers, she began feeding tho
lilth; minnows that swam around ihe
CllfUl,.,. I.ilr. , e t. 1... .
n .: I'uij ui uer Linen. M;o w
Lusy playing with them that fir
cmte forgottt-ti 1.. r pol- when s:ri
cniiy it gave a j-rk. That was ,
h i hito, Leila thought, and
tried to ivmomb: r rr:i:u f the th
tho twir. had rr.id to do, but
'-'hlf'i o her feet to rr.nr.at
bolt t. Khe wonted to g"t the
out, hut Komr-thir-.g was pulling it
the other wcy, and, half !'ri-;hi
sho leaned hack with her v,
weht toward tho snoro. Then
pulling stopped, flnd then
Well, when Roy saw Leila :;t;';nd
he started for her at or.ee, and it was
a good thing he did, for when ho
reached tho stone there wa no little
girl on it, lut she lay fiat on her hack
in the sheliow water of the creek,
still tightly clutching the pele in both
hari'is, and the first thing she said
when she could get tho water ov.t of
her mouth was: "My fish, Roy; my
fish!" Now, what the biggest sur.fi.dx
of tho creek a regular giant sunfish
should have been doing in that shal
low water and why he wanted to take
a hook that it could be plainly seen
had a little girl with a blue dress and
white sunbonnet fastened to the oth
er end of the pole, nobody knows, hut
that is what happened, and the time
they had landing that fish (of course
they landed Lelia too) you could nev
er believe unless you heard the twins
tell it. They can give you the exact
weight of the fish too, down to half
ounces. Each of them weighed it
alone, and then they weighed it to
gether, and when Johnny Porter
and Tommy Lames came it was
weighed all over again, and every sin
gle boy said it was tho biggest fish
that had been caught that summer.
You can imagine that Leila was
pretty wet and happy running home
from the creek, while the twins proud
ly carried the fish in front of her,
stopping every now and then to show
it to admiring children they met. The
dust stuck: to her, and her clothes felt
chilly, but of course she did not mind
little things like that. Part way home
a jolly neighbor with a horse and wa
gon overtook the children and gave
them a ride to the door, and there
mamma met them and brought Leila
dry clothes and hot milk to drink,
and put her on the sofa with an af
ghan over her to rest and get warm,
while all four of the children talked
at once, telling of the adventure.
Leila was up at supper time and sat
rear the fish that had been cooked a
most beautiful brown and given tho
place of honor on the table.
Of course pap had to hear the story
all over again when he came, and the
jolly neighbor, who dropped in to
sec how Leila stood her ducking, had
to go out to the dining room and see
how large the fish was even after it
was dressed, and how much of the
platter it covered, while Leila beamed
and dimpled, and the twins explained
and told how to make the best "sink
ers." "Well, Mr. Davis, what do you
think of tin fish that Lelia caught?"
asked her mother, smiling.
"The fish that Leila caught!" said
the jolly neighbor, "from all I can
hear it 13 the fish that caught Leila,
and I think he caught a pretty fine
little girl." Karrie King, in Chicagc
Professional shoppers are employed
by a large dry goods firm to test the
abilities of their clerks. This firm
ow ns over CO large shops, and employs
nearly 1000 assistants. To find out
whether every customer is politely
served, a number of lady customers
are employed to call at the various
shops. They are told to give as much
trouble as possible, and sometimes to
leave without making a purchase after
looking at nearly everything in the
shop. Should the unfortunate assist
ant's temper not be equal to tho
strain, or should a single word he
j taid that might offend, a report will
I infallibly reach headquarters p.nd lead
to the dismissal of the sorciy triid
handler of silks and ribbons.