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THE Hit TrkAT MOTHER MAD!
rcscuo wo hoped would come with It;
toiiiKlfirn wh-n KHthi U Ply, an.l n.th- No matter what t!i P.HIni?, 'twa tnre to ha
li t; mii'iim to fit. tint V. -t,
of tlit dainties that abound I can wt 1hm;Kh w call nomotlinea that puuipklu
iHtal.lt m kin' of nil tlit rt,
J 11 mi Inward hankering, whl-'U aiwayi Out- U,Um Unit Kfeatly ideaaod a wan that
II. fl U III" Hl,'ll, fB'-ll I'dlll.l I'llt hll4 fill,
'illi Pollux t..r a KniToux ptco of With no fear of Indication, or a lenytny
iHoihui H home-made pl, 1 t'tor' llll.
I U.ne anlii Its flaky crust. ju-d meklntf on TIm-im always waa a-plnty, fur mother kuew
my tuMnuw, tho crowd
Fond iin-iimrlfn of ltn goodnt for yearn to And tho appetite they carrlol-Hul gi-ncr-
ni have cUiiik': Hv Allowed. ,
Could 1 l.nt choo juHt wliat I'd mt, why Horn dIkM lu dn'ftmi I nee the row i on .
i.n ..u.. i... i I'. I i.i... hour I liiitn til ualiH
hi't-nay. half ft dozeu ples-liko mothor And llud tint iden havo vanished, thut
UHi'd to Ulllfct).
mother used to make.
When mother made mince j le9 for us, she My friends and neighbor call me a mighty
did not buy h brick lucky ch'ip ;
Of hom Straus compound at the store, Tby nay, " Ho hai ft barrel, and uea oniy
enough to iiiukH us hick ; turn the tup
he peoied the Juicy apple, the fattest To buy what ever he may wish. loUBoe,
.....,. ..,.,,..,.,1 tiiMV An ii i it ktmW
JtU tho frHKrant, uplv rwHH, and chopped Tbnt monHy will Lot buy the j the pes oi
And mol .tu:d it with cider or orange juice And I m.metlmes think with envy of a lime
And mlrred Bgaln, and Hinted, and pro- Who hadn't any money, but a he art brimful
....I (1 n.iru !,.. nf lor.
And when the pie plate all were filled, and With junt two things to comfort blm, ror
nome bau to bake every pain and acne :
Goe WhkUker! 1 mindl those plea that A kitw, and then a piece of pie, thut motlier
mother used to make. need to make.
-Helen Combes, la Collier's Weekly
Adrift on the Salwin River.
By ALEC. J. GRANT.
"v -r "V -r -r -
It was a Saturday afternoon In the
early part of November, 1S70. The good
hip Morning Light was lying at an
chor opposite a large lumber mill on
tho Salwin Iliver In British Burma.
The work of loading the teak-wood
logs had been discontinued for the day,
nd the crew had just finished wash
lag down the decks, for the next day
as a veritable day of rest, and every
part of the ship must be clean and tidy
before knocklns-off time.
Moored alongside the vessel were
large rafts of teak-wood, ten logs to
a raft, all well secured by ropes made
fast to the outer logs and hauled taut,
and hitched inboard to the pin-rail.
These rafts made convenient floating
stages for the crew to wash and bathe
on, and on this particular afternoon,
as soon as the men had finished work,
they swarmed over the rails and hand
over hand down the mooring ropes,
and were soon deeply immersed in river-water
To the westward the sun was slow
ly sinking behind a threatening bank
of clouds that betokened a heavy ram
storm close at hand. On the river-
loni- tho lnmhprine unsainlv cle-
chants. the working corps of the saw
mill, were tramping slowly homeward
from their evening bath; and on deck
two tired, impatient youngsters were
burriedly polishing the brass work
eager to complete their task and get
to their washing before the storm
came on. One oi tnese wya was mC
writer, then on his firpt voyage; the
other was Phil Daly, my chum and fel
low victim to the tyranny of the petty
officers in whose berth-room we were
With a "wipe and a promise" we
finished our brass-work, hurriedly dis
posed of some cold tea and hardtack,
and dronned down on the reft with our
bundles of dirty clothes as the last of
the men climbed over the rail inboard.
" It was almost dark as we dipped the
first pieces of our washing, laid them
down well soaped on the outside log,
and proceeded to pound the dirt out
of them with a heavy stick in the na
tive fashion. Our only companion was
the skipper's dog, Rover, who, con
trary to all nautical .etiquette, had
Bounded down the captain's side-ladder
and joined us on the raft.
The heavy rain-clouds had by this
We shouted for help, but we might
as well have saved our breath. The
ship was already a good cable's length
away, and the storm had driven all
hands below to their snug quarters.
It might be hours before we were miss
ed, and then I might as well confess
that our first impulse was to lie down
and have a good cry, for we were then
little more than children.
But the dog kept bounding from one
to the other of us, seemingly enjoying
the new and strange situation, and
finally the boyish spirit of adventure
conquered all morbid feelings, and we
prepared to make the best of a bad
As if to cheer us up a little the storm
had abated almost as rapidly as it had
risen, and as we swept round the first
bend' below the ship the thunder and
lightning died away, the rain ceased,
the clouds disappeared as if by magic,
and the stars came out clear and
Our first move was to provide some
means of steering our craft so that
we might be able to make the shore
and avoid being carried out to sea. Un
lashing one of the crosspieces of
scantling that held the logs together,
we had a strong if rather clumsy steering-oar,
and by adroit sculling, aided
by the force of the five-knot current,
we soon brought the raft within fif
teen yards of the bank.
But here we found to our disappoint
ment that the water shoaled sudden
ly with a bottom of slimy black mud.
Seemed that it was impossible
to reach the shore with our craft, and
being unwilling to tempt fate by wad
ing or swimming in the dark In an
alligator-haunted stream, we sat down
on the logs and contented ourselves
for the present with keeping as near
the bank as the depth would allow.
As we sped along, strange eights and
sounds greeted us. Under the deep fol
iage of the trees will-o'-the-wisps
flashed to and fro, the every patch of
bushes that overhung the stream was
aflame with dancing myriad of fireflies.
The short, sharp bark of the jackals,
the croaking .if tree-toads and the
weird hooting of owls made a noctur
nal chorus that grated on our nerves,
while every now and again the pro
or we knew that as mjoii u:s our ai-
hciid out a bi.at'u crew In nanli or
pence was dlscuvt n-d the c aptain would
ih. But the a lM uturcii of the night
had mi yet come to an rnd.
The weary hours bad drags'! along
until marly fivo o'clock wiw-n Rover,
who had been cuddled between uh,
suddenly rone to his feet and, tremb
ling in every limb, stood pointing at
Komething on the farther end of the
raft. Following Ida gazo we could
dimly make out a dark round object
like a small coil of heavy hawser.
About a foot above it, apparently
su-pendod in the air, were two bright,
bead-like points of light that sparkled
like diamonds in the glare of the
lightning. Rover crouched lower and
lower, the hair on his back standing up
like bristles. Then with a long, low
whining cry he sprang quickly away
from us toward those mysterloim
points of light. Another vivid flash
lighted up for a momrnt the raft and
its surrounding?, and showed us our
dog almost within striking distance of
a huge python.
Our warning cry as we sprang to our
feet seemed to break the f pell that
bound him, for, with an agonized
howl. Rover swerved to one side and
sprang far out into the river. When
he sank the water was churned into
foam by the lashing tails of the alli
gators as they fought over their prey.
Then the ripples gradually died away,
and a few flakes of blood-red foam
were the only traces left of the trag
edy. Wo fell back on the raft overcome
with terror at the poor dog's fate;
but a strange fascination compelled
us to turn our gaze on the hideous
p.nd dangerous reptile that had forced
its companionship upon us. There it
lay, coiled up on the logs not more
than fifteen feet from us, its small, fiat
head reared above tho huge coil, and
waving to and fro with a rhythmic mo
tlon that seemed almost to hypnotize
us. It was only by a strong effort of
will-power that we at last averted our
eyes and turned to look about us.
The lightning that had revealed our
grim companion must have been the
last flash of the storm, lor. the clouds
had cleared away, the stars had come
out and were already beginning to pale
before the' advancing light of dawn.
With lightened hearts we turned
again to look at the python and found,
to our horror, that he had moved up
nearer to -us. lie was nearly ten feet
in length, and at least nine inches
through the thickest part of his body.
Unarmed, we were no match for him.
In our rear were the river and the
alligators; we could retreat no farther
unless we wished to share the fate
of poor Rover.
So overcome were we by a sense of
our helplessness and the horror of the
situation that 1 believe if the python
had advanced any nearer, we should
have jumped from the raft to be torn
to pieces by the alligators. But just
then we heard a loud shouting, and
looking down-stream we saw a na
tive fishing-boat, manned by a crew of
wild-looking, half-naked Burmans,
skimming towatd us under the im
pulse of a half a dozen long, paddle
We would have welcomed anything
in the shape of a rescue party, even
had we known them to be cannibals;
and as the boat grated alongside the
raft, we sprang forward with the in
tention of boarding her at once. But
we started back in alarm as the py
thon glided up to the boat and slid
over the gunwale into the cternsheets,
The men, instead of showing any fear.
seemed to rejoice in the advent of this
strange passenger; and it was only af-
per, th nibba-py' and the abators
n re. jv'in rally part and pan t 1 'f lbs
dr -irn horrors that visit ray nutlets
cou. h. We towed the raft bak to tb"
hhlp, and the skipper wan io pleased
to have us all back afe and Found
that I'bil and I (neaped with a very
mild reprimand. Youth's Companion.
BRAIN AND INTELLECT.
A crowd fit traulha j m M-d hi hi pj,
A he with cuuraK waited.
lie naid: " Vher do you trouble ny
When you are tutu belatej (
" V.e go, tl.ey mild, "to thoxe who mopo,
Who look on life delected;
Who weakly my K"od-b)" to hope
e K wuare we re fxp'cia.
A Mikl...t Which iiniutes A Nol
I'nlnt In Frlonra.
Tho exact F at In the brain of tho
highest intellectual faculties has
formed a moot point In sclt-nco glnco
the functions of tho organ of mind
bevan to bo investigated with accu
racy, says tho Ixmdon Chronicle. Tho
general consensus of opinion localizes
what we term "mind" in the prefront
al lobes of tho brain, but by another
school of thinkers the hinder lobes
have been credited with performing
our highest cerebral duties. The bal
balance of evidence, I should say, is
decidedly In favor of tho former view,
and recent researches and observa
tions! by Dr. Phelps, an American in
vestigator, would appear to assist in
strengthening the opinion that tho
most important portion of tho brain
is Its anterior region. In tho courts
V investigation in question some 293
cases of brain injury and diseases were
examined. In all save two it was not
ed that interference of extensive na
ture with the prefrontal reglou result
ed in serious disturbance of tho men
tal faculties. Less severe injury pro
duced lesg marked effects. These
facts parallel the researches of other
investigators, and they are further
substantiated by what Is observed in
cases of idiocy connected with a want
of development of tho frontal lobes of
As to tho relative importance of tho
two lobes or halves of the cerebrum,
or chief brain mass, most of us know
that each half governs the opposite
side of the body, and that, as we are
right handed, so wo may be called
left brained. The superiority in func
tional importance of our left brain
is not questioned, and it is therefore
interesting to find Dr. Phelps insist
ing, from the results of his investiga
tions, that our left brain lobe is really
the intellectual half. The right half,
it is added, is capable of sustaining
severe injury without marked mental
effects supervening, and cases aro
quoted in support of this fact. In
deed, such cases have frequently puz
zled physiologists, seeing that the dis
turbance of the intellect has in no
sense been commensurate with the in
jury to the brain. On the notion of
u-o greater importance of our left
brain and on the theory that severe
injuries which do not produce utter
mental breakdown really involve the
right lobe, the puzzling constitution
of the brain may be explained in part
at least. But the last word has not
yet been said concerning the brain's
ways and work. Injuries of the left
half do not always produce serious
effects as regards the mental life,
while we have had some physiologists
insisting that we have readly two
brains, and that while the loft lobe is
the Jekyll of the intellect, the right
on occasion at least, is r.pt to play the
part of Hyde. A fascinating theory
this, but one to whicn sober science
is not likely to append its imprimatur.
inn o-r.fi Vinwl nf Rome lflrEre beast of
.. .. .. . i . .3 ..tfotori -arolenmft tn his snake-
prey or tne spiasn oi a neavy uouy ki a. o.v...
lightning gleamed brightly along the
korizon. Silently and rapidly we
Bounded and rinsed, rinsed and pound
ed, in our efforts to get back on deck
before the rain fell.
In pidgin-English the men at the
helm invited us to get in and go ashore
with them to their village, which was
now plainly in sight among the trees
on the farther bank. But the pres-
--- ,.Q faiiine into the river made us start snip tnat tney ugam tu.u ...
time entirely overspreau lu w - realization of tention to us.
wind was whistling fitfully througn tne T
rigging,- and now and again sheet -- - - .
hour, steering and dozing by turns.
Gradually the current became iess
swift as the river began to feel the
full pressure of the flood-tide from the ence cf the snake, and the longing
vvQir Abrmr midnlsrht the sky again rroeriv looks thg men cast on our raft,
But, swift as we were, the elements became overcast the thunder crashed made U3 hesitate, and as we hung back
were swifter. With a deatening crasn and rolled the lightning flashed ath- a hearty British cheer startled us, and
and a blinding glare that seemea w t the heavens, and the rain came WG turned round just in time to gresp
aoorch the feyeballs, the storm was up- AoVfn ln torrents. Just as one very the gunwale of cur gig and steady her
ssn us. The rain descended in slanting hrlght flash' lighted the scene and alongside. . Then the boatswain and
sheets before the fierce squall, and , .. . nearing the fnnr ethers of our shipmates tumbled
flash followed flash, and peal followed point where the river widened out to on the raft and fairly hugged us in
$eal, until the sKy was one uidiiug, aQ estliary, a sudden shock threw us their joy at finding us alive and well
thunderous chaos. nn onr faceg. The forward end of the The Burmans had shoved' off with
In the lull that followed the out- ft e doar of the water; then it their python as our boat came along-
tourst of the storm I heard a sharp, PWUn(r round with the tide and hung Bicie. and were already well on the way
startled cry from my companion and, therei We picked ourselves up and lo their village. As we lay back, wait
as the lightning again blazed forth, jjiooked obout us, only to find that our ing for the flood-tide to set, that we
1 saw that the pails in which were our craft had gtuck hard and fast on a might get the raft off and tow it back
washed clothes, had slid from the log g of ol(1 rots firmiy grounded in to the ship, the boatswain told us how
and were floating off down-stream. Al- the bed of tbe riVer. the native fishermen make a domestic
icady they were carried far beyond We uniashcd another crosspiece and pet 0f the python or subba-gyee, as
our reach by the force of the wind. led with an our strength, but in they call it, and use him as a barometer
Picking up a boat-hook that lay near, -iVe BUCceeded only in pushing When they go fishing. He will remain
we ran to the rear raft. the raft onto the snag until the lower coiled up comfortably in the bow of
rastine off the after mooring rope A entirely submerged and our the boat until a storm is coming on
we pushed with hands and boat-hook pmon was rendered more precarious when he promptly slip3 overboard and
Tho night V, nv to Ilrink Water.
Professor Silkham says that there
are few people who thoroughly realize
the value of water as a beverage, or
who know how to obtain the greatest
advantage from it. The effects pro
duced by the drinking of water vary
with the manner in which it is drunk.
If, for instance, a pint of cold water
be swallowed as a large draught, or it
it be taken in too large portions' with
a short interval between certain deffl
nite results follow effects which
differ from those which would have
followed if the same quantity were
taken by sipping. Sipping is a wonder
ful stimulant to the circulation, a
thing which ordinary drinking is not.
During the process of sipping the action
of the nerves which slow the heart is
abolished, and a consequence the
organ contracts much mor rapidly, tho
pulse beats more quickly and the cir
culation in various parts of the body is
increased. In addition to this, we find
the pressure under which the bile is
secreted is raised by that sipping ol
fluid. And here is a point wnicn
might well be noted by our readers. A
glass of water slowly sipped will pro
duce a greater acceleration of the
pulse for a time than a glass of wine or
cnirirs taken at a draught. In 'this
connection it may not be out of place to
mention that sipping cold water will
often allay the craving for alcohol
in these who have been in the habit
of taking too much of it and may be
endeavoring to reform, the effect being
probabely due to the stimulant action
of the sipping. Hamilton Times.
Rho You used to nay I was an angel
and now you call ine a goose. 1I
Oh, well; It's Just a question of
TommyPop, what Is a promot
er; Tommy s Pop A promoter, my
fcon. Is a man who can make a peuuy
look like 30 cents.
"Was there a ring cf sincerity in his
olce when he proposed? "No, but
there was an engagement ring ln his
pocket." New York Sun.
Blobbs Plunger is so hard up that
he has had to sell his favorite mare.
Slobbs Then sometimes it must bo
the lack of money that makes the mare
He I dreamed last night that 1
proposed to you and was accepted.
She Pshaw! Isn't that too bad?
"Why?" "Well, dreams go by contra
ries, they say."
Fond Mamma Isn't baby getting
big? Just see how solid he Is. Papa
He does seem solid this morning,
and its remarkable because he ap
peared to be all "holler" last night
"No, my father made her break the
engagement." "What was the trou
ble?" "The old man discovered that
one of tho young fellow's ancestors had
been a floorwalker in a rolling mill,
Fond mother (listening to baby'3
cries) What a sweet-toned voice she
has, dear! She'll be a splendid singer.
We must send her to Italy to have ber
voice cultivated. Husband (Irritably,
from behind the evening paper) Send
"You see, ma'am," began the profes
sional beggur, "I got my arm scalded.
I'll be glad to show you " "Never
mind," interrupted Mrs. Koaldart.
"You're only wasting your time here."
"Not at all, ma'am, my motto is: "So
trouble to show goods.' "
American Bride Indeed, count, yes;
I do love you very much. Count Boy-
Ion de Bakkovisnek Ah! Zat will re
pair my ruined life. American Bride ,
And I bring you, you know, a million.
Count Boylon, etc. Ah! Zat will r-re-pair
my r-ruined chateau!
"Wasn't it a terrifying experience,"
asked his friend, "when you lost your
foothold and went eliding down the
mountainside?" "It w.s exciting but
extremely interesting," said the col
lege professor. "I could not help -noticing,
all the way down, with what
absolute accuracy I was following
along the line of least resistance."
"Uncle," said little Johnny, "tell
me how you charged with your war
horse up the San Juan hill at the head
of your troops." "Well," said the battle-scared
veteran, "I mouted the fiery
animal, drew my sword from its scab
bard, rose in my stirrups, cried 'For
ward!' and sunk the spurs deep in
the quivering flanks of my gauam
steed." "Yes!" exclaimed the boy,
breathlessly. "Go on, uncle. Tell mo
the rest of it." "There isn't any more
to tell, Johnny," said his uncle, with
a pensive sigh.
"The horse balked.'
ntil that end cf the raft swung clear thaQ ever
mf the shin's counter and almost into
the track of tho approaching bucKets.
m,n nmnine- across to tho outer
corner, we cast out our boat-hook and
carefully hauled them in. But the shout
af triumph had hardly left our lips
' vhen the forward mooring-rope part-
With the strain, the raft swung
round broadside to the current and
dropped astern, and the hull of the
ship rapidly disappeared in the gath
ering gloom of the storm.
If there was little fear now of drift
ing out to sea, there was still less
chance of getting to shore. By the
glare of the lightning we could see a
number of dark objects floating
around us that we knew were alliga
tors, and It was certain that they
would sel :e us the moment we entered
the water. Retreating to the higher
side of our raft we cowered down, cold
and wet, t) wait for daylight and the
heads for the shore. The fishermen
then make sail and follow him with all
The pet subba-gyee Is fed on a diet
of rico and eggs, and lives ln the house
very companion ably with the cat and
the baby. This, of course, explained
the situation as far as the snake was
concerned, but it did not in the least
mitigate the horrors of the past night
And to this day, whenever I partake
too freely cf an unusually heavy sup-
where Marrinr Are Cheap.
A man can be married in Melbourne
cheaper than in any other port of the
world. Ministers advertise in the pa
pers against each other. One minister
offers to unite loving coupies ior rus.
r.d another for 7s. 6d., and so on down
to 2s. Cd. In some cases wedding break
fasts ard ring3 are supplied.
When a girl's face is her fortune sb
isn't afraid of pickpockets.
An Unlucky Anthem.
The rural choir in one of the up
country villages, which has become
somewhat of a summer resort,' had
ben a success for many years. But thia
season, in order to impress the "city
folks," it was determined to introduce (
some' improvements. The older m.;m- -bers
of the congregation opposed this,
but the young people won a partial vic
tory, and it was decided that one song
at least should be sung in up-to-date
fashion. All would have gone well
had not the choice of the hymn been
unfortunate. In this particular hymn
the line occurs:
"And bow before Thy throne."
According to what the conservative
members called in disgust "new-fangled
notions," the tenor and soprano
were to hold the notes on the line until
the rest of the choir came in on the
alto and bass. The result was that the
line was sung in this rather startling
And bow-wow-wow Deiore iny
'Somehow the effect on the congre
gation did not sem edifying. The
choir has gon back to the old-fashioned
method of singing. New York
London' Hull-way TrUons.
One can never be ce rtain of keeping
an engagement if a journey on one of
the London suburban lines is a neces
sary part of the business. The rail
way companies treat passengers as if
their time was not their own. One
is literally a prisoner in a railway
compartment There seems to b an
absolute and really Impudent indiffer
ence p to keeping to the r.dvertized
time Bradford Observer.
Since the close of the c!v:i war th-s
state of Louisiana has speLt more than
530,000,050 on Mississippi levels.