Newspaper Page Text
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W, TO CORRESPONDENTS.
, oorrfianl('i! by tti name o( tlie author, no
; BjnH8Rrlly for nithlirntlon, but as evl'lfnce)
; i Kooii until on the part of the writer. YTrl
i pood tmtli on the part of the writer. Writ
My on one side of the paper. Be particularly
ireful, in aivinB rames and dates, to bave ail
vmy on one
.utters or tluure uloio sad distinct.
; t IN SEPTEMBER.
, Morntrtfrs frosty irow, sod colt,
, ; Urown theft-raxs on bill and wold;
- :niw are cawing sharp and clear
- , where the rustling corn grows sears
' Mustering flocks of blackbirds call;
Here and there a few leaves fall,
In the meadows lark slnK sweott
Chirps the cricket at our feet
m , . In September.
Koons are sunny, warm and still;
Tfl 1 A lllen h o erhangs the hllL
Jill Amber sunshine's ou the flew
4t within the open doors .
Ptlll the nrlnkota nail Knil ni.lr .
f "er ouna, tnoutrh long we sock
Oft oomes faint reitort of gun;
uioB uubz in xne sua
lD BePtomber- . , ' '
Cvenlngs chilly are, and damp.
Karly lighted Is the lBmp;
Fire burns and kettle sings,
, Smoke asoends in thin blue rings:
On the rug the children lie;
In the west the soft lights die; '
, J rom the elms a robin's song
Itlngs out sweetly, lingers long
-i'ltaiWh Cote, in St. NtcMm.
TONS OF LETTERS
Mleelvos Bent and Received
ordered Washington Offloials.
, gency su. '
Nll,ili,,Ihousand Letters Day Received by
J it l President Alone How the Mall la
v Assorted, Distributed and An
swered rost-OfDce Notes.
The Preaidont of the United States
receives daily tin average of fifty thou
sand letters, which, as a rule, are an
swered or their receipt acknowledged
in the day of delivery. To enable him
8 cope with this vast correspondence,
mucrt ol wbltu requires not simply a
, formal reply but considerable research
and special knowledge, the Executive
Js furnished with about ten thousand
clerks, who, for convenience, are divid
ed into seven departments, according
as their work has to do with our foreign
.relations, the army or navy, the fiscal
machinery of the Government, its in
ternal relations, tbe postal servioo or
the administration of justice. The
", heads of these seven principal depart
ments are asked by the President to
mett once or twice a week at tho White
House and form what is known as his
Cabinet. At those conferences the
more important business of the several
departments is discussed, so that tbe
work mar be done promptly and har
moniously; and so well regulated is the
system that it is not necessary for the
President to see personally but a very
' small part of the Executive correspond
ence. Two or thrco sacks only, out of
tne tons oi mail matter tnat is d'impea
. every morning on tne noorol tlie wasn
ington City post-office, goes to the
This post-office it. the third in the
country in volume of business, though
Washington Is only the fourteenth citv
in population. This is on account of
the enormous official mail that passes
through Postmaster Conner's hands.
During the fiscal year which ended June
30, 1885,' the letters received were in
excess of 25,000,000, or about 70,000
dnily, and of this total it is estimated
nbont 70 per cent goes to tho depart-
The reBnent tide is even larger, for
the out-going delivery includes all the
v publications of the Government. Sta-
t.Utii(l in this finlil wnnld hn stnnrirorirM.
They would be on such a huge scafo
that tlie figures would lose their mean
ing, un some days, for instance, dur
ing the busy days of Congress, 2,000
large sacks, mostly of Executive docu
ment, will pass through the office, rtnd
the average for the summer months is
20,000 sacks a month. Much of this is
registered, for greater safety, so that
the work thrown on the city force is
Evidently, then, the Washington
. post office is a busy placa It is. in a
vile building, but the clerks agree to
condone its contracted spaces, dins!
ness and vermin on an understanding
with it that it won't tumble down dur
ing office hours. The postmaster is a
son of Senator Conger and an active
Kenuulicnn politician. The clerk in
charge of tlie manipulation of the mail
is Mr. Springer. He looks and acts
much like General Jrancis A. Walker.
and, like that gentleman, has a knack
nt turning: on bus. ness nuicklv and well.
There are "crews" of men in the office
all the time, night and day, week days,
Minuays ami holidays. One section
works from seven a. m. to three d. m..
one from three to eleven p. m., and one
irom eleven p. m. to seven a. m.
The busiest time of the day for the in
--eeniirig mail is early in the morning,
wheu the great night mails arrive.
1 rom seven till nine o clock the office
seethes with activity. Shortly before
nine o ciock tne man wagons for the
departments and the outlying bureaus
are nauiea up in ine rear oi the olucc,
and the mail is handed out to thorn for
distribution. These vehicles are of
every description, from heavy, red, cir-
cus-UKe vans to neat covered carriages.
which have a strong suspicion of twilight
ana.' aunaay excursions about them.
Hie heaviest mail irenerally noes to the
i ost-omee Department, uue to the rou
tine correspondence between the denart-
incut and tlie 50,000 postmasters of the
country. Each postmaster has occasion
to write at least four letters each quarter
to the department, thus involving
mass of 200,000 letters every ninety
days, or more than 2,000 a day from
this cause alone. Then there is an
equal volume of business in the Dead
Letter Bureau, where all uncalled-for,
misdirected or unintelligible letters are
k sent. The other two departments that
"receive enormous mails are the Interior
and the Treasury. The mail for the
Pension Bureau of the Interior alone
. often mounts into the thousands.
All the departments have a mail
room where tbe letters are received and
Jr- sorfed. In the larger departments
p these rooms have quite a post-office look
of their own, and exceed in the volume
.of business transacted the figures of
many towns of considerable size. Here
. the-sncks are opened and the contents
distributed into trays or boxes which
represent tbe office of the Secretary and
the aittcrent bureaus, vt nea tnus soneq
4 the tetters go to the chief clerks, who
go. through tho pile, whether "confi
dential" or not. Heads of departments
. are not supposed to have any guilty
secrets, and they certainly have not the
time to read all the missives which
' come to them as confidential matter.
So tbe clerk tips open everything, and
many "confidential" letters drop into
his waste basket Communications on
business matters the clerk tosses into
wicker trays, and these are borne by
iriessongento'tbe chiefs of division and
tlie heads of rooms having special
supervision c! the matter If, however,
she letter is seen to be important it is
sent op instead of down, and eventual
ly may find its way to tlie desk of the
Secretary, or even to the President In
the ordinary routine, however, a letter
first goes to the city post-office, then to
the department, and .lien, step by step,
to the chief clerk of the bureau, the
chief clerk of division and the particu
lar elerk who Lj assigned to attend to
its subicct matter.
Then, in due progress, the reply
goes back, on thick white letter paper
of official size, elaborately headed, and
gathering indorsements as it proceeds
red marks and blue marks, numbers and
dates, circles, snuarci and crosses till
it is finally signed, folded and mailed
aeratn. Necessarily tbere is some red
tana, for unless a ricid system was fol-.
lowed there would be I ttal confusion in .
a week in all tho largo departments.
These mysterious marks all have a
meaning, as tho careless or stupid clerk
finds out soon enouffh. for by mem
very step is registered and a blunder
traced back: to its source.
The last hour or two of each ollice
dnv in tha dnn .-tments is devoted to
finishing m. the correspondence and
signing it The latte- means great
drudgery to the decreiancs uu
their responsible subordinates. Some
days t'aese officers sign their names for
two hours as rapidly as tney can wmu,
with a messenger at their elbow to pass
them hwt after sheet and blot the
signature as it is scratchod oft Rarely
are the contents of the letter noticed. Jt
comes to the desk through tlie proper
channels, and is assumed to be correct.
If not, tlie one who suiters by tue error
will bo likely to complain. Of course
the more important correspondence is
treated more careluiiy.
And now the reolv begins its travels.
Again the department wagons, from the
ncavy red vans to tne suspieiuusiy ni
carriiia-es. convey the sacKs to the city
post-office, where they are emptied and
the letters hurried from clerk to clerk.
One arranges them in piles, then the
canceling stamn and the post mark are
-- j . .,.!
put on, and then tne nrst rougu uisin
bution bv States and chief cities begins.
At the citv nost-office, also, a further
distribution taKes place to ease me
.. .. -I . . . .L
strain on the railway postal clerKs.
About 20,000 post-olhces are located by
the most direct railway lines, and let
ters are distributed for these lines, thus
saving tha railway clerks from a vast
task that would have to be aono very
The great official mail goes out to the
North and West at ten o'clock at night,
but us much matter as possible is sent
at four o'clock: to help the railway
clerks. There are few busier spots than
tbe postal cars cn the ten o clocK train
botween Washington and Baltimore.
The Government mail consists almost
entirely of sealed packages, so that lit
tle need be said of tbe methods oi
handling the lower grades of mail mat
ter. Some parcels go open, nowever,
and these are handled in connection
with newspapers, samples, books,
shoes, horned toads and other bulky
articles. The size of these parcels does
not admit of a piercon-hole basis of dis
tribution. The clerks therefore stand
in the arena of a mlmio amphitheater
of labeled pouches rising about them in
overlapping tiers, and toss tho bundles
into the gaping mouths oi tne sacKs.
It looks easy, but it is a special art.
One calm cldorly clerk, who has spent
a life shootintr pouches, has a periect
aim. it is as beautiiui to watcn mm as
he pops the bundles into the proper
holes as it is to see Vt: Carver break
glass balls or Ewing throw to Gerhardt
I 1 V o
i sucuuu unsc.. n. i aint.
MEETING OF EMPERORS.
They Do Things Better In the Land of the
Free and Home of the Urave.
There is a lesson to young men in the
preparations that are being mado for
tlie meeting betw een the Czar of Russia
and the Emperor of Austria. No
doubt many young men have ambitions
to become Czars or Emperors, but there
nothing in it It is more trouble
than it is worth. These two men, for
they f re nothing but common men, de
sired to meet each other and talk it over.
Instead of one visiting the other, as
ordinary men would do, they agreed,
about a year ago, to meet half way, and
engineers were set to work to take
measurements, and find a town that
was exactly half way betweon the two
capitals. The town of Kremsier, In
Moravir, was selected, and before it
was made public what place they were
to meet, the town was taken possession
oi oy troops from both great powers,
and surrounded by police and mili
tary, so that a mouse could not get
in or out of the town without beiug
stepped on. Then arrnnwments were
made to transport the two great men
to the meeting place, and rail
roads and bridges were guardod for
rear some enemy would blow them up.
Millions of dollars are beinsr expended
for protection, for decorations and for
musio and ontertainraent The town is
guarded all around and no person is
allowed to enter or leave without a pass,
ana every person who enters tho town
is under police surveillance, has his
lodgings pointed out to him, and he
has to havo everything bo owns
searched, to jruard against dynamite.
These crowned heads will be overcomo
with nervous prostration, and their
bodies will be on nettles until they
are once more safe home, and with
in their castles. They are "loved
by their people, and yet they ex
pect to be murdered any minute. They
will be dressed in purple and line linen,
decorated with precious stones, and
live on the fat of tbe land, after some
subject has tasted of each dish to see
if it is poisoned, and they will seem to
be having a real nice visit but they will
expect evety minute to have their hind
legs blown on by dynamite, or bo shot.
or poisoned. Vt by should they take all
th s trouble, and run so many chances.
and o to so much expense, simply to
talk together for a little while, when for
a penny they could send a postal card
containing all they want to say? Tho
telegraph or telephone could do the
work, and the great men could breathe
freely, which they can not do when
they meet as proposed. What business
mar in America, or what laboring man
wh is earning a fair living, would
chi places with the Czar or Emper
or? America has lost two Presidents
by assassination, but it was the work of
cranks, bven with this record before
ns, our Presidents go where they please
unprotected and unarmed. The Amer
ican President rides about the capital
and the country surrounding it like any
private citizen, with no fear, while an
Emperor, to take a ride, has to be sur
rounded wit'i an army. The American
President takes a tomato can full of an
gle worms and goes off to the woods
hshing, with one or two companions.
and is in no more danger lhan a private
eitizen. An fcmperor, to go hshing.
would have to surround the soot where
he fished with an array, and then he
wonld feel that he was afraid to got a
t'te for fear if he pulled on tbe lish it
would blow up the lake. Poor Emper
ors, we feci for yoit ftcV .
A Long Dlatanoo After the Late
The Love Story of an Alleged Funny )lla
A Daring Scheme, and How It Was
. Cenauiumatad Happy Con-
. ' :x elusion - i.
who is rtsf C '
Alpiionse Berlin was a humorist "
Tho poet's lyre has a thousand strings,
that of the humorist has ten.
ten are the Mole, Mother-in-law.
Fair Oyster, Book Canvasser, Serv
ant-girl wRh coal oil can, Vassar Girl, Chi
cago female foot' Poverty of Editors, Size
of modern ice-cream plates and "Didn't
know the gun was loaded." ,
Striking these strings singly and in
chords produces humor.
Alphonse struck the strings.
The multitude laughed rudely.
When he heard of a skillful artificer of
Florence who made five hundred little
dishes so small that they would lie In the
bottom of a thimble, and could only be seen
with a microscope, he said: "This is what
our modern ice-cream dishes are modeled
For this wild burst of humor he received
"Did you hear about the washont?"
asked the baggaKe-master of the reporter.
"No," said tlie latter, with great show of
interest "What line was It on?" "Out
here on Mrs. Mulligan's clothes line," said
the baggage-man. . The reporter collapsed
with a loud report
For such a joke he received ten centimes.
"Ten centimes and live centimes make
fifteou centimes," said he. "For this
amount of money one can purchase Wiener
No one need starve when ho pan purchase
'My fortunes are at the wurst point" re
For this Joke he received nothing.
TUB PLOT THICKENS.
One day while outwalking Alphonse saw
The pug was tied to a umie. At tne
dude's side was a beautiful girl. The girl
was named Adriennetto and the pug was
named Juno. -
Alpiionse full In love with the girl Adri
She was a proud and aristocratic maid,
whoso father's carriage bore an eagle of the
sun for a crest
The old man bad got his start In life ped
dling ham sandwiches in the liowery.
Therefore be had an eagle for his coat of
Adriennetto loved before all things In the
world her pug. " .
The pug Juno dined on on delicacies. or
lie sat In an arm-chair blazoned with
lie was allowed to ruu over ine taoie
and seize the choicest tid-blts, while grace
was being said.
A place had bcon reserved in the family
cemetery lor him, next to Adriennette
great grandfather, against the time when
lie should turn up his paws.
If Adrlennctte s lovers felt II ko kissing
her, they had to kiss Juno first as ha evi
dence of good faith.
It was Into this family that Alphonse s
fnte led him.
He felt a wild passion for his hclla inn-
mtmta (see back part of Webster's dic
lint sho would not even give nun a
From a gay, dashing, elght-dollar-a-
week humorist Alphonse became a pale,
wan shadow, lie acted both as 'Adrien-
nctte's shadow and his own.
lie followed her everywhere.
He could do nothing but write sad
poems and elegies. When he tried to
make a inke about tho size of the block of
ice that the ice-man leaves nowadays, the
words died In his throat and be wrote a
poem about the "dark willows that wave
o'er the dark, deep pool."
When he tried to write an account of a
coat lunching off a tin can, he turned to
de-scribe, with tears In his eyes, "the chest
nut hair on my true love's brow." He at
tempted to run these in on the managing
editor. Instead of the jokes, lie was
kicked down stairs. He, so full of ethe
real passion, was actually kicked, like an
ordinary gas-meter mau.
This story wlU be continued In the next
One day when Alpiionse watched Adrien
nette riding In her sumptuous coach with
her pug Juno clasped to her throbbing
breast: "She loves Juno better than her
life," he muttered; "I love him because
she does; I will steal him.''
A wild look of mighty emotion wept
amss Alphonse' face, making it almost
"She could not live without htm. There
will be a reward. What rewardf Who
Alpiionse could not speak what he only
dared to hope.
For months ho awaited an opportunity.
finally one day It came.
A mumed shriek, a dun inuu, and juno
Success had crowned his fondest hopes.
Tbe next day society was 6haken to Its
Adrlennette's pug had been stolen.
Liveried couriers were dispatched lilthoi
and thither.. .-..-.
Pinkerton's entire detective agency was
The millionaire's purse was thrown open
Excitement on Fifth avenue ran high.
Alpiionse held his peace.
wWIi. tUokclittittanfc .Uatl been .caging.
three days, Alpiionse rang Adrlennette's
'"6o awayP saiff'sheTi fiS-hgh-toned
voice. Vs . t
f I brlnj, news of: hint," tald the young
man BnlaHamlv 1 ... ' a ,
- The girl threw her arms around his neck
and kissed hlin In the ecstasy of the mo
" I will restore hint for one reward only,"
"Name it" said the Iran tic maiden, "I
will grant anything you ask." s
'"I want your hand hi marrlaee." said
Alpiionse, at the same time removing the
cover of a large hat box which hn carried
with him, and taking out Juno.
" I'm with you," said Adrlennctte.
What a happy scene 1 The gods InughcQ
to see it
" Three souls with but a slntfo thought
xnroe hearts that Dent as one.
Robert D. Brain, in Texas Slftlngs.
She stood on tho cool piazza
; As the shades of evening fell, ?','.
And I (razed on tho lovely rialdmt '
KiitruncedJy hur.bcauty's spoil.
Tho balmy evening zephyrs
Flared with each golden tress;
And nor azure eyes were swimming
In a sea of toudorncss. i
Her lips, just slightly parted,
Wero tinged with tlie coral's flnrao,
And 1 thought that her chocks' brlgb.'
; Tho hue of the rose would shamo. .
While gazing In admiration
Un the rare and radiant lass,
I thought sweetest luuxlo only
, Through those corid )lps could pass. ; .
Dut a suddon change cntno o'or hor,
' Gone was tho smite no bland:
And she smote In sudden anger
Tbe back of her Illy haud.
And sho cried: " Ha! hal I've got you,
You'll troulilo my poare no more;
You're the same blamed old mosquito
Tuut I tried to mash before I"
- AdTlee to a Teacher.
Johnny Fizzletop is one of the boys that
attends the University of Texas. Heplay
hookey, breaks his slate, and makes th
life of his professor miserable by shooting
spit-balls at him. Some weeks ago John
ny showed signs of reformation, but it did
not last, for yesterday the professorxaught
him in the act of putting a bent . pin on his
throne. . - '. ' ' '
"Johnny, I know you seem to be a bad
boy," said the professor, sadly, "but I
hoped there had been a Change fnrThfi bet
ter in your conduct 1 even told your fa
ther that you were a changed boy. 1 hoped
that you had become a better boy, but I seo
1 am mistaken. 1 am grieved and disap
pointed. 1 see that my hopes were pre
'Yes, that Is all your fault You
shouldn't go off at half-cock that way.
Remember what David Crockett said: ' lie
sure you are right, and then go ahead,' but
you II learn after awhile Texas bift
The Chestnut Grows Everywhere.
Out West, right under the eaves of the
Kockles, lives a patriotic editor and last
Fourth of July he concluded to enthuse, so
he announced that his paper for tliat.weqk
would appear in the National colors. On
the day of Issue au old subscriber was on
hand and got the first copy from the rress.
"Hows thlsy" he excimmed, ; looKing
over the'sheet , ' 1 ' ft'
"How's whatr- ..
"Why. this paper isn't in the National
colors as you announced; thore's nothing
here but white and blue."
"Well, ain't that rlghtr
" Of course not Where's the red?"
"O, It will be read, just as 'soon as" the
issue gets Into the hands of the subscrib
ers." Mcrduvit Troisier.
A PICNIC PHANTASY
Come 1M us jump aboard tho tranl
Oh. hoar the whistle blow 1
All unture seems to smile on us,
Let's to the plcnio go. -
We'll drink the sparkling lemonade,
The sandwiches we'll munch.
Base-ball we'll play, likewise croquet
And dally with the lunch.
CHAPTER II. . . 1-
Ob, what a jolly time I've had I
I dance aud laugh with glee. x'
A beetle has crawled down my bock,
I feel him round my knoo.
A bumble-bee has toyed with me.
And In my shoes are ants.
I silt upon a lemon pie,
' And spoiled my Buuday pants.
A Small Boy's Idea.
He was small for a witness, but he knew
a good deal mors than there were indica
"Take the stand," said the lawyer.
"Right you are," be replied, stepping up
and sitting down carelessly.
'Do you understand Hie nature of an
"Well, I should slnlle," and he threw s
barefooted leg over the arm of the chair.
"Were you ever on tlie witness stand be
"I hen how do yon know the nature of an
"Ky! I've been around Iota o" timet
when Pap was chopptn' kmdlln' wood, an'
seen the sticks fly up an' hit hiin a swipe
across the snoot Guess yon never split
much klndlln' fir yer wife, did yer?' Afcr-
Life la a Flat.
' Judge Kennebunker, a cynical oil 'bach
elor, lives with his dog in tbe hall room oi
a Sew York flat As be was looking out
of his window Miss Vanpelt, who lives on
the flat below, stuck her head out of her
window, and railed up:
'Your nasty dog barks all night"
'But he doesn't play on tbe piano aO
. The lower window cams down with '
bang that sounded liks a safe being blow
opea Tezns ilfUna.
. A Remarkable Cure.
A rcmarkablo case of cure from ths
bite of a cobra in full poison comoa
from Pachmarhi, a military hill station
in the central provinoos of India. ' Tho
effectivo bite of a cobra is usually re
garded as certain death,, and tho. sue;
cessful treatment of the caso in ques
tion will suggest to medical men the
value of hypodermic treatmbnt in such
cases. . According to the Allahabad
I'ioncer, a post-ollice harkara (messen
ger) wua bitten by a cobra,' which was
afterward killed. The man was at
once taken to the military hospital, but
ten or fifteen minutes must have elapsed
before medical' assistance "was' avail
able. "Whett tho patient was. taken in
hand he was in a state of eoliapse, Tlie
lower' half of his body became gradu
ally paralycd, and by degrees he lost:
b tli speech and sight The doctor at
this stage thoughl that nothing could
save tho man, .especially. as. the dead
snake had been exuroined and found to
be a cobra in full poison- Hypodermic
injections and other obvious treatment,
nowever, were conunuea, ana m uum
ten hours some little improvement in
tho patient was olsorved; Sub.se-
queutlyi tho man ouito recovered.
Thore appears not the slightest doubt
about his having been iauiy i men.
i'fresotntive of the svruntoms his little
finger had been torn open ju shaking
the snake ou. , Xhe cobra was iour auu
a half fo t long.-'JT. Y Post.
. . . . -
A Public-Spirited Man.
Jim McSnifter was trcd in the Dis
trict Court- at San Antonio, Tex., for
stealing a horse. After speeches were
made, the case was given to tho jury,
Judge Noonan. who was on the bench,
said to the jury, as ho handed the fore
man tho miners:
The jury will now retire, and delib
erate on a verdict."
The jurymen got up to go out, but
the prisoner graciously wavod hw hand
at them.' and fail:' :' '-
"Gentlemen, you needn't go out on
my a-count. , You can just stay right
hero ami di cuss tho matter, in iact,
I d like to bo orocnt and help you
make up your verdict. I want to do
all 1 can to expedite justice."
Tho jury, nevertheless, retired, but
after several hours they returned, be
ing unable to agree upon a verd ct: ''
Once moro tho prisoner arose in his
scat and said, to the jury: I"
"(entlemen, as far as I . am con
cerned a few yean more or less in the
Penitcnt'arv is a matter of no import
ance. ' If you can ' not agree on live
vears make it ten. . 1 don't want to
nave it said a'lout mo that I Impeded
tho course of justice -or that ' 1 didn't
haVo any public (spirit "Texas Sift-
J - ,. ,
' The Wild Horses of the West.
Tho wild horses of Wyoming and
Western Nebraska are compact little
animals, weighing 800 to 1,100 pounds.
Tho majority of them stand fonrteon
hands high. In color they aro usually
brown, sorrel or bay. ' A gray is seldom
seen, unless it is a horse that has
strayed away front civilization. Their
tails grow long, frequently dragging
on the. ground, but their manes aro
like those of other horses and not
(lowing to the knees, as represented in
some books. The eye, probably from
being constantly on tho watch, is
largor than tlid eyes of the domestic
horse, and even when tamed tho eve
remains a dit-tinctive mark of the
horse's . origin. Wild horses, when
raptured or tamed, are superior to
other horses of tho same siz. Many of
them are used by tho cowboys, and
others are broken toharnoss and driven
as carriago horses, being entirely trust
worthy. Scottish Aqrictdtural Ua-
.. t Who She Was. .
"CiQod morning. Cojonol," said De
r'idgett to Colonel MoCorklo; "ditLyou
attend-tho graduating exercises last
"Yes, and I think it wa a bore. VL
you-. notice wnat a nnnerauio miutru
was made by mat young- jnuy..wno sat
in tho extreme rirht:j"
'' "Wliy, I thought she diet very well."
"Wre are prone to , look charitably
upon tho lain la of our iricnds. l'er-
haps you aro ac puaiuted with hor?"
sI am." . - v s y. V -. . ti
"Who is sho?"
My:' daughter." Stockton Maver
A tramp was met on a country road
in'Oregon by a well-dressed man, who
otlereif to swap clothes. This was
deemed sacrazy trunk, but It waseajror-
ly accepted, and the disrobing and rob
ins; were quickly accomplished. The
follow who jwas, jipparontjy , benefited
by tlie queer bargain mado off as toon
as practicable, for fear that the other
would seek to undo it; but the sup
posed lunatic was in tho greater hurry,
for ho had robbed a bank, and knew
that officers were after hiin.witn n do-
scription of his apparel as thoir jruido.
Thus the wrong man was arrostcd, and
it was with' the greatel difficulty and
delay that ho .cleared himself. CVu'cavo
, Kbw ToRii, September 14, lS-'R.
CATTXE Native Steers 1 1 40 a 0 20
COl TUN Middling 10 a 1"X
M.Ol k oou t : t noice im m 6 ?s
WHKAT-No. 1 Red.:. ....... SSVw '-SIX
corn so. a ah tx;i
UAlB-neiumiiica..,. u ,d -rst
l'OUK Kew Mess 10 00 W 10 60
. V ST. LOUIS."
11KEYKS tiood to Heavy.... S 10
rarto Meuimn.... t ,5
HCHiR Common to Kcreei...! S 7
HHKKr r'alr to Cliolce 50
KLOl'K XXX to Choice S 10
W 1UuAT-o, ? lted Winter WVa
.. no. s ,to,
OATS No. M 0
HYK-No. 2 61X9
'imtWU-LMum z OS
l.r Medium... t no
HAT Choice Tlmothv 11 80
ltl TTEK-CUolce Dairy 17
m, s eu
m 7 60
l-t,4H 'n-sh .....
1"UKK Mandard Mess , .... 0
BAl'ON-Cleai Rib 6J.0
LA Kl Prime Steam
: ... . Chicago.;: k
CATTLE Exports 4 00 0
1Hh;.s tiood to Cholee.;.... 4 10 0
MIKEP Good to Choice. ... IM
I XOt' It W inter 4 AS 0
Patents t 00 0
WHEAT No. i Spring 0
No. 1 lted Kl 0
CORN -Ko. S- .......... .... 4s
OATH-No.-t .1 - ,0
IVRK Jiew JMesa 8 ti 0
CATTLE X'atrre Bteeris 4 SO 0
Hx;s Sales at - 4 06 0
WHEAT No. i 6)j0
W)RS So.t 0
oATio. t tin
flock Wen tirades
CORN White .- i '
BAClN Clear Rib
WHEAT No. S Red
4 2J ta
it at 6S
CORN No. I Mixed 0 4411.
OAT" No. i Mixed S8 0
POKk Ms m ma
BAOt,' Clear Rib 0
PROGRAMME OF FATK WEEK
IN ST. LOUIS.
GREAT ST. LOUIS FAIR.
Wliat Con He Been For One) Ad
mission or -iTiiy euvs.
The th Groat St Louis Fair, open Octo
ber Mh and continues six days ; fW.ooO Is of
fered In rash premiums to be distributed
among the exinuitors or iioraes, iwuv,
Sheen. Swine and Poultry; Maehlnn'y. Me-
ehanlonl and Industrial displays, Works ot
Art, Textile rannes, i-roauee, rmn, nnu
Vegetable, Geological aud Chemical Spool-
isooiOotCAt, OAHnnw fjkta oaorKn. .
The collection of Wild Beasts, birds ana
Reptiles on the Gretmd of the Amoclatlon
compares mvornmy with any .ooioRirm
Carden hi the World, and will be epened free
to all vU'tors to the r air. numerous auc
tions havo been made to this Department
aud It Is now complete In all Its details.
.SBW IMrUOVEMESTS OH FA1U O ROUND.
it'flve aerei have been added to the
Ground, and JSon.OOO expended In Improve
ments, 'comprehending a full mile rane
course, 7(10 new Horae Stalls, IWJ new Cattle
stalls. SO0 Sheen and ' Rwlno Pons, a Ponltry
House lor s.ino r owls, twmty-eicnt now ex
hibition Halls and Pavilions. Applications
for Mulls or l ens should be made at once.
Trotting; and racing Races Kvery liny.
The horso contending being tbe most col -
brated In the country.
" ' 0iND ILLUMINATION. ' "
Diirlea the entire week, the streets. Of tho
city will be Illuminated by .V),(M0 gns rt8, In
terminated, wlt'' hundreds otcalijliun, incan
descent mid arc electric llirlits. '
VKILKO moPHKTS PAGKANT.
On the night of Tuesday, October. 6th, the
Krnnit annual nocturnal pnitcant ot ine
"VE1LKU I'KOI'HKT,". comprising thirty-
five floats, win ne Riven at an expense, of
Uousaiuls Of dollars. . ....
On the nleht of Thnrsdav. October 8lh. the
''TKAD1C8 PAliKANT" will be plven for the
purpose of Illustrating? the Industries, wealtb
and resources ot the Mississippi Valley. ,
- "SITAW'8 GAKUEN." of world-wide fnme.
will be open free to all visitors (hiring tho
week, through the generosity oi its owner. -
HALF FA HE RATK8.
All railroad and steamboat companies
have generously made a rate of one fare for
the rou n a trip (luring tne entire wees.
a rum.tc nouoAr.
The munlclnnl authorities have norreed to
declare ThurBdav of Fair Woek a holiday to
nil. . lloouis and board for -2VVHHI guests
have been provided for at greatly reaaeoa
rates,- ., - i
Tlie Merehnnts', Cotton. Wool, Mechanics
nd Renl Kstnte Kxclinnies. will b'i onen.
free to all visitors, hxiumtors siioniu apply
for space, stalls, or pens at onee In order to
secure a uemranie locution. Aaiuosi r r..i
TUS J. WADK, becretury, 718 Chestnut street,
r. j.ouis, mo.
WnEN a miner has been eaten bv a
grizzly,. tbe Western people speak ot him
as being admitted to tile b'ar. Yonken
of either sex, however induced, speot
thoroughly aud uermanentlv cured. Com
plicated and obstinate cases of blood taints,
ulcers, obstructions, unnatural discharges,
exhausted - vitality, premature decline,
'nervous, mental, and organic debility.
varicocele, hydrocele, diseases of prostate
gland, kidueys and bladder, piles, flBtulas
and rupture, all permanently cured. Stall
of twolve expert specialists in constant at
tendance, constituting tno most complete
organization of medical and surgical skill
in America, oonu uistory ot case ana att
ires for illustrated pamphlet ot particu
lars. World's Dispensary Medical Asso-
elation, Buuaio, fl. 1.. -
There is a bors in Harlem so balky
that he won't draw his own breath. A.
Young Hen, Read This.
Tub Voltaic 15elt Co., ot Marshall, Mich.,
offer to send their celebrated Electuo-Voltaic
Belt and other Electric Appliances
on trial for 30 days, to men (young or old)
arnlctod with nervous debility, loss oi vital
ity and all kindred troubles. Also forrheu-
. matism,neuralgia.paraly sis,and many otu-
ar diseases. Uompiete restoration to neaun,
visror.and manhood guaranteed. iNo rlsic in
curred, as tfO days' trial Is allowed. Write
them atonce for illustrated pamphlet, free.
A mar who sets the mitten is ant to be
guilty oi contempt oi court. jmrnngwn
' Drowsiness In the Day-1 1 mo
miens caused bv lack of sleeo or from
over-eating, is a symptom of disease, if
fli be accompanied bv general debility.
headache, loss of appetite, coated tongue
Sad BaiiUw cuiumu&iuu, yuli lliuy ua buid
that vou are sulleriuu from biliousness and
i consequent derangement of tho stomach
and bowels. Dr. Pierce's- Pleasant lurgi
ative Pellets" are a sure cure f all ali
ments of this nature. Tuer cleanse and
purify the. blood, and relieve ths digestive
Ambition is a vacuum that will never
be tilled. uaiin!ton Hatchet.
' la nnnn ai represented." Is what
everybody says of Frazor's Axle Grease.
' "The trapper's motto bear and fur-beaa.
the Jwiyt. . .
WnEN all so-called remedies fall, Dr.
Bafe-e's Catarrh Remedy cures.
Tivk is tilind. but matrimony Is a ereat
oculist. LoHimlie oowner-.owrnaj.
f affUotcd with Boro Kyes, uso Dr. Isaac
Thorn dsou's Eye Wator. Srugslsu sell It. -"5o.
Farukbs alwava work on shares
pktugli shares. JV. Y. Tribune.
Pi ke's TtiOTH ache DitttPS cure in lmliiute,25c.
XUtnn't Sttljrfittr Sixtp hculs and Ivcnutlflos. SVc.
Qkrhan CtiitN Kkmoveh kills Corus lluulous.
DR. JOHN BULL'S
FOR THE CURE OF
FEVER and AGUE
. Or CHILLS and FEVER,
' and all malarial diseases.
Ths nmnristor of this celebrated msdioiiis
Instly olsimt for It s superiority over all nin
dies ersr offered to tho pnblio for ths SAFE,
CPliTATir. SPEEDY and PERMAHEKT ears
of Avne snd revor.or Chills and FeTer,wheth-
sr sf short or long lunninf . ne reiors te w
sntirs Western and 8onthern country to bear
him testimony to the trsta or tns assertion
that U no cats whatever trill it fail to onro if
nt Ta a mat maiiv oaui a li&Kle dose hu
been tulfioient for s curs, and whole familiei
fcava kaaa enrsd bT s tingle bottle, with s per'
foot mtonttias of ths gsnsral health. It is,
howsTsr.pnident,ana in every cats mora cer
tain to stirs, if its ote is eontinted is smaller
doses for s week or two after tho diseaio has
been checked, more especially in difficult and
longstanding eases. Usually this medicine
will aat rsn aire snr aid to keep the boweli in
good order, snowo me patient, aoii. re
quire a cathartic medioiae, after bavins takes
three or four dotes of the Tonie. a lingle dots
f rnrrs yegetable iamily rau
will be sufficient. Use no other.
OR. JOHN BULL'S
SMITH'S TONIC SYRUV
: BULL'S SARSAPARILLA,
. BULL'S WORM DESTROYER,
Th Popular Remedies of ths Day.
Prlsrtsal Offlee, 831 Xals fiL, tOnSYTLLI. IT.
lo Rope to Cit Off Hirsts' Manes.
vrienraiea P.. r. r. - nai- i-
can not he slipped an. borsa. tam-
rl Haltvr to any part uf tile V.&.
rw.oa receipt or SI. Mdhyal!
Faddtery, Ilanlwarr. ami llanie..
Ifl.ra. aprtal aMaeunnt to ihrj
Trade tT-.i-iwl fr rrtce-Llst.1
Trade, tr .cwl for rrtee-U.l.m5 W
1 ' ""'" v y 9
Lady Agents !
wwivrrn rr the ten:n- tmWievm m the
ItKH I l-al United PUtea. It is srell eatahiialMSL
am paya a very iiorraj, aatary. wun a enanee lor e
eetijiaT foraeveral Preiatiims wertb trom S-ftso
I ornti. yaracoia anarena
Did you St$- ; -j
pose Mustang Lininicnt only gooa
for. horses? ' It is for inflamir
ticn of all flesh. - ,
COrft MOVriT. Agn Wjnted. ,
A Ml I selling amrleslnthe world. 1 Minple
HI&UU AdilrcMjA MiOMBOX.PiTKuiT, tliuu.
Treated and cured without ths knife.
Hemic cm tn-sMnent eni m-r. jiimn-H
L.1'0N1).M.U, Aurora, Kinuvutu.
RaAlltiflll RED oa Ootton Tnrklsk Ituhram.
weauillUi baiunicfrfdli) every iierwm wilding
address to L. T. W11ITE, Eaion lUplds, Mlub.
TC n An idl-s Mn at Woman In my
I t"'couni)i(!illrtK"l" Sl"7l.
1 Mr BNli.nd Kiprof.fi. KxprtiM) m .U
vn. r.nv.uint fMltAt FBKKt Putirill.nl
Standard SUvar-ware'Oc Uonton, Mm.
SstablUheJf PAY'S 8M
Rr.rmhlt. Sn. Irathf r for KOOFH, OFTHinR
WAI.LS.iml IKNIUKInnlner rPlastrr. V.t
tr.n d dnrablr. CABFETS nd K of
ante mBtvrlul. CMsloane wltli i test inoulal. snd
BRYANT ft STRATTON'S fJKj
St.Luuis.Mu. "Uludniuye.rly. ounf infnltuitlitllnoS.
ketpms. Shurt-hind, imunsustiip, sud suiitrd lu tiouiious,
BMnUfHily lllnttrtMn t atategw m pp
.... i)..-u Compi UmroaMfl. 30 coltuvtl
iMhlOB plsitM. illUlWtHWnt bbu pries
nt ii.u . lltlmsti. Cam. Ptfacha. BflU .
two. llsinr Outfiu. I'omMtll. I'lnniM,
vnl.tisi. Rhoiildsf Knots. Jld Coril mtitl
Hattstn. ornimeiiU. Bb1 td Prom-
'lion rififfiswd ftmnstt, Cp ljroi, el. y I
B- U. AWARE
henringh red Hn tag; that Lnrttlftrdli
HUM l.fsnf fine out : that ..ortllant'i
Sary C lipping, nnd that LorlUard'i Hi.ull,ar
the best aud oaeupeet, quality couaiaeml ?
A handapnM Turklnli
. nd or Ti
I lia nd witn 5S rim. 11 T
mttwi nri nl HIUJ niAKK.lt cn on nsod
rta. worih of canwt wat.
I ML rtAnLnnallnewinainnrh nen.or
by bund. A wonderf al Invention, llwllnnl nllil.
W Send .Unip fur circul.ru, terms, snd Uimtorr.
iKOBS Ornslnt snless bfsrlng this Slama
JAMES MEANS' $3 SHOE.
Made In lluttnn, Conrrp.s snd
ll.aco. BrMCaif HkiH. Unninelled
In ijuramiuy, uwniori una
Appeuranc. A jHwlal card
l IO u. will vniiK ju. iii-
furniatioa hour to (ti-t
llils Shoe in any main
I, JMeuiis f.
il J.1111-.01H pi.
A. N. KELLOGG NEWSPAPER CO.
824 & 226 Walnut St., St. Louis, Mo.
COLDS IN HEAD
AND HAY FEVER.
Tho nnnrecodented success and mnrlt ot
Ely's Cronin Iliilm-u nitil euro for onta.Th, hay
lover and cold in the head hits Induced many
adventurers to plitoo catarrh medicines lieur
intr eoiiio rtisuiiiulitueo In apiHtarnnce, stylo or
name upon the mnrket. In order to trado upon
tho reputat ion ot Ely's Cream Dalm. Many In
your imniodiHto locality will testify In higliost
commondatlon. Don't bo deceivod. Huy
only Ely's Cream Uitlm. A partlolo Is applied
into once nostril ; no pain; ajrroouuiu to usu.
I'ri lilty conts; of druKKists.
The BTJ1ERS1 GUIDE Is
Issued Sept. and March,
I rath jrear. f XM Vt
whole Picture Gallery.'
GIVES Wholesale Prices-
rfirert to ennimmm on all Roods for
personal or famlljr use. Veils how to
order, suad, gives exact cost of CTcry
thlng yon use, eat, drink, wear, or
hft-re fun with. These INVALUABLE
BOOKS contain Information gleaned
from the markets of I he world. We
wttl mall copy KRKK to any ad
dress upon rreelpt of 10 eta. to defray
expense of mailing. Let us hear front
yon. . Hespectnuiy,
MONTGOMERY WARD & CO. .
87 4c 880 Wabash Avrnae, Chicago. 111.
11 a '
The Red School House Shoe.
1r yon w.Bii to par
Boy or Ulrl tlint will
it and fie wear ami tear
of every-day tiMgn,
ttinr !n made of h"i'at
1 p a h e r throtighttitt,
and 4 common m-nne.
i lilt'a. aak jour deal or
lf-jr II f MrttH'i
t he Trade M nrk of th
1 LHtla Red Schoolnowi
found on the bottom
f j-ach pair. iNora
fcwnlne wit hunt It )
tV- A.k also for the
WOMAN'S GOAT BUTTON.
Btttehed with 811k snd every wyolld. Mailrrmlrhy
C. .ntHDtRSUs SCO, f nnntsaaa Sfcees. (alraco.
Vrittfnra S of our Fnnci School Carat.
ET-.:vUa il AntxA
Z' 1 1 1 1 U I VQ9C VI I
pa JnlOrPfl VAtM.
I CI VUIUI CUIIICllla
f mmtnwrtpA a foarftil raaa of Mnmt anlw. in.
Twaatn-att-dwilhtheoldrctntiltca of Mpn-nr 3
Pvtaali. which brniiKlitiinrlirtin-atlna and Inipalrt-d
my dlK-ilveorgan- Kvcryjolntlnme was srii!lt-n
ap t full of pain. When I was Riven up to die. nir
priy.lclans tki?ht It would b a food time to let
the virtue, of Swift's PpMlfle. 1 Improved f mm the
ery first dose. 80011 ths rhcnmatl.tn left me, nir
amx-tlle became all rluht, snd tha ulcers, wlileh the
doctor said were the mm friKhtfnl he hadervr seen,
bciran tubeal, aud hjr tbe flrst of ortol-er. iwtt, I was a
well wan agala. LKM MotLB.N DON.
T.em VeTlemVa lias been In' tha amain
Chena-arlcT t:nmpany for anme years, and 1 knusf
the above eiatements lobetrua. w. B. f.aoasv.
M anatrer theatHJaney Co-, Atlanta lUvlaioa.
Atlanta, Ga., April 18, WO.
Tresl lae on Blons and Skta niaeaaes matlM free.
'ritaSwirr fipRrjria Cu. Drawee a ah.... v..
IT. X. UJ W.33d aU
A. X. K-, 11.
WHEX WKITIJTQ TO ADTKSTlSERa
pleas say yoa saw the adTertlaeanrnt 1st
this paper. Advertisers like ta k;ow
Wheat and where their ad vertUe men U ars
rU llelilitll eninloTnirnt
KirTltontible. o llookina, Klilllliia,
... . . . uv llM, an. kind uf cloth
II I I
A Clear Skin tl
is only a part of beauty;
but it is a part. Every lady
may have it t at least, what
looks like it Magnolia
Balm both freshens and
: f Ivy
r- v- C- aTi voiVAUtH