Newspaper Page Text
I9M- DY
pie nro BOOK
CORPORATION
CHAPTER XXV.
17
Gall Breaks a Promise.
The Whitecap would have been un
der way except for the delay of the
gay little Mrs. Babbitt and her admir
ing husband, who sent word that they
could not arrive until after dinner, so
the yacht, long and low and slender
land glistening white, lay in the middle
of the Hudson river, while her guests,
bundled warmly against the crisp
breeze, gathered in the forward shelter
deck and watched the beginnings of
the early sunset.
"I like Doctor Boyd in his yachting
cap," commented Lucile, as that
froung man joined them, with a happy
mother on his arm.
"It takes away that deadly clerical
feffect," laughed Arly. "His long coat
pnakes him look like the captain, and
lie's ever so much more handsome."
"I don't mind being the topic of dis
cussion so long as I'm present," com
(mented Rev. SmitB Boyd, glancing
pround the group as if in search of
someone.
"It rather restricts the conversa-
tion," Mrs. Helen Davies observed.
The cherub-cheeked Marion Ken
neth glanced wistfully over at the rail
shere Dick Rodley, vying with the
sunset in splendor, stood chatting with
easy Ted Teasdale and the stiff Ger
ald Fosland.
"Where's Gail?" demanded the
ca-srub cheeked one.
"It'B time that young lady was up
r deck." decided Arly, and rose.
"She's probably taking advantage of
tbi opportunity to dress for dinner,"
surmised Mrs. Davies. "In fact, I
think it's a good idea for all of us,"
but the sunset was too potent to leave
for a few moments, and she sat still.
Where indeed was Gall? In her
beautiful little curly maple bed, and
digging two small fists into the maple
brown coverlet. The pallor of the
morning had not yet left her face, and
there were circles around the brown
eyes which gave them a wan pathos
tht.re was a crease of pain and worry,
too in the white brow.
Gail had come to the greatest crisis
In Ler life. So far she bad told no
one of what had occurted that morn
ing. When she had rushed into the
rector's study he had sprung up, and
seeing the fright in her face and that
she uas tottering and ready to fall, he
had caught her in his strong arms, and
eho had clung trustfully to him, half
faint, until wild sobs had come to her
relief. Even in her incoherence, how
ever, even in her wild disorder of emo
tion, she realized that there was dan
ger, not only to her but to everyone
ehe loved, in the man from whom she
bad run away and she could not tell
the young rector any more than that
ehe had been frightened. It was strange
how instinctively she had headed for
Rev. Smith Boyd's study strange
then, but not now. In that moment of
flying straight to the protection of his
Arms, she knew something about her
self, and about Rev. Smith Boyd, too.
She knew why she had refused those
others who had wooed her Willis
Cunningham and Houston Van Ploon
and Dick Rodley poor Dick! and Al
lison and all the others. She frankly
and complacently admitted to herself
that she loved Rev. Smith Boyd, but
she put that additional worry into the
background. It could be fought out
later She would have been very hap
py about It if she had had time, al
though she could see no end to that
situation but unhappiness.
Where could she turn for advice, or
whom could she get to share in the
burden which she felt must surely
crush her There was no one. It
was a burden she must bear
alone, unless she could devise
some plan of effective action, and the
sense of how far she had been respon
Bible for this condition of affairs was
one which oppressed her, and humbled
her, and deepened the circles about
iier wee smitten eyes.
Gall took her fists from their pres
ure into the brown coverlet, and held
her temples between the finger tips
of either hand and the brown bair,
springing into wayward ringlets from
the salt breeze which blew in at the
half-oi jned window, rippled down over
her slender hands, as if to soothe and
comfort them. She had been wasting
her time in introspection and self
analysis when there was need for
decisive action! Fortunately she had
a respite until Monday morning. In
Ihe past few days of huge commercial
movements which so vitally interested
her, she had become acquainted with
1 usiness methods to a certain extent,
and she knew that nothing could be
ane on Saturday afternoon or Sun
day therefore Uncle Jim was safe for
two nights and a day Then Allison
would deny the connection of her
tTncle Jim's road with the A.-P., and
the beginning of the destruction of
the Sargent family would be thor
oughly accomplished! She bad been
given a thorough grasp of how easily
that could be done. What could she
o In two nights and a dav*' It was
tost her ingenuity to conceive She
must have helD'
But from whom ould she receive it'
Tod Bod
fGtmS. RANDOLP CHE5IIIL
and LILLIAN CHESTER Jr.
ILLUSTRATED C.D.PHODES
The same reason which
jnaiif ha^ thiou of htm first made her
swiftly place him last. Her Uncle
Jim? Too hot-headed. Her Aunt
Grace? Too inexperienced. Her Aunt
Helen? Too conventional. Lucile,
Ted, Dick? She laughed. Arly?
There was a knock at the door, and
Arly herself appeared.
"Selfish," chided Arly. "We're all
wanting you."
"That's comforting," smiled Gail.
"I have just been being all alone in
the world, on the most absolutely de
serted island of which you can con
ceive. Arly, sit down. I want to tell
you something."
The blacK hair and the brown hair
cuddled close together, while Gail, her
tongue once loosened, poured out in a
torrent all the pent-up misery which
had been accumulating within her for
the past tempestuous weeks and
Arly, her eyes glistening with the ex
citement of it all, kept her exclama
tions of surprise and fright and indig
nation and horror, and everything
else, strictly to uch low monosyl
lables as would not impede the gasp
ing narration.
"I'd like to kill him!" said Arly, In a
low voice of startling intensity, and
jumping to her feet she paced up
and down the confines of the little
stateroom. Among all the other sur
prises of recent events, there was none
more striking than this vast change in
the usually cool and sarcastic Arly,
who had not, until her return from
Gail's home, permitted herself an emo
tion in two years.
"The only way in which that person
can be prevented from attacking your
Uncle Jim, which would be his first
step, is to attack him before he can
do anything," said Arly, pacing up and
down, her Angers clasped behind her
slender back, her black brows knotted,
her graceful head bent toward the
floor.
"He is too powerful," protested Gall
"That makes him weak," returned
Arly quickly. "In every great power
there is one point of great weakness.
Tell me again about this tremendously
big world monopoly."
Patiently, and searching her mem
ory for details, Gail recited over again
all which Allison had told her about
his wonderful plan of empire and
even HOW, angry and humiliated and
terror-stricken as she was, Gail could
not repress a feeling of admiration for
the bigness of it. It was that which
had impressed her in the beginning.
"It's wonderful," commented Arly,
catching a trace of that spirit of the
exultation which hangs upon the un
folding of fairyland and she began to
pace the floor again. "Why, Gail, it is
the most colossal piece of thievery the
world has ever known!" And she
walked in silence for a time. "That is
the thing upon which we can attack
him. We are going to stop it."
Gail rose, too.
"How?" she asked. "Arly, we
couldn't, just we two girls!"
"Why not?" demanded Arly, stop
ping in front of her. "Any plan like
that must be so full of criminal crook
edness that exposure alone is enough
to put an end to it."
"Exposure," faltered Gail, and
struggled automatically with a life
long principle. "It was told to me in
confidence."
Arly looked at her in astonishment.
"I could shake you," she declared,
and instead put her arm around Gail.
"Did that person betray no confidence
when he came to your uncle's house
this morning! Moreover, he told you
this merely to overawe you'with the
glitter of what he had done. He made
that take the place of love! Conn
donee! I'll never do anything with
so much pleasure in my life as to be
tray yours right now! If you don't
expose that person, I will! If there's
any way we can damage him, I in
tend to see that it is done and if
there's any way after that to damage
him again and again, I want to do it!"
For the first time in that miserable
day, Gall felt a thrill of hope, and
Arly, at that moment, had, to her, the
aspect of a colossal figure, an angel
of brightness In the night of her de
spair! She felt that she could afford
to sob now, and she did it.
"Do you suppose that would save
Uncle Jim?" she asked, when they had
both finished a highly comforting time
together.
"It will save everybody," declared
Arly.
"I hope so," pondered Gall. "Bat
we can't do it ourselves, Arly. Whom
shall we get to help us?"
The smile on Arly's face was a posi
tive illumination for a moment, and
then she laughed.
"Gerald," she replied. "You don't
know what a dear he is!" and she rang
for a cabin boy.
CHAPTER XXVI.
Gerald Fosland Makes a Speech.
Gerald Fosland. known to be so for
mal that he had once dressed to an
swer an emergency call from a friend
at the hospital, because the message
came in at six o'clock, surprised hi*
guests bv appearing before them, in
the salon just before dinner, in nis
driving coat and with his motor cap
in his band.
"Sorry," be informed them with a
stiff now, "but an errand of such h
por&mce that it cannot be delayed,
causes Mrs. Fosland and myself to
return to the city immediately for an
hour or so. I am sincerely apologetic,
and I trust that you will have a Jolly
dinner."
"Is Gail going with you?" inquired
the alert Mrs. Helen Davies, observ
ing Gail in the gangway adjusting her
furs.
"She has to chaperon me, while Ger
ald is busy," Arly glibly explained.
"You're it. Aunt Grace. Ifou and
Uncle Jim have to be hosts. Good-by!"
and she sailed out to the deck, fol
lowed by the still troubled Gail, who
managed to a'ccomplish the laughing
adieus for which Arly had set the
precedent.
A swift ride in the launch, in the
cool night air, to the landing a brisk
walk to the street then Gerald, hav
ing seen the ladies safe under shelter,
even if it were but the roof of a night
hawk taxi, stopped at the first saloon.
There he phoned half a dozen mes
sages. There were four eager young
men waiting in the reception room of
the Fosland house, when Gerald's
party arrived, and three more followed
them up the steps.
Gerald aided in divesting the ladles
of their wraps, and slipped his own
big top coat, into the hands of William,
and saw to his tie and the set of his
waistcoat and the smoothness of his
hair, before he stalked into the recep
tion parlor and bowed stiffly.
"Gentlemen," he observed, giving
his mustache one last smoothing, "first
of all, have you brought with you the
written guaranties which I required
from your respective chiefs, that, in
whatsoevtr comes from the informa
tion I am about to give you, the names
of your informants shall, under no cir
cumstances, appear in print?"
One luckless young man, a fat
cheeked one, with a pucker in the cor
ner of his lips where his cigar should
have been, was unable to produce the
necessary document, and he was un
der a scrutiny too close to give him a
chance to write it.
"Sorry," announced Gerald, with po
lite contrition. "As this is a very
strict condition, I must ask you to
leave the room while I address the re
maining gentlemen."
The remaining gentlemen, of whom
there were now eleven, grinned appre
ciatively. Hickey would have been
the best newspaper man in New York
if he were not such a careless slob.
He was so good that he was the only
man from the Planet. The others had
sent two and three, for Gerald's mes
sage, while very simple, had been
most effective. He had merely an
nounced that he was prepared to pro
vide them with an international sensa
tion, involving some hundreds of bil
lions of dollarsand he had given his
right name!
"Hold the stuff till I telephone,"
begged Hickey. "Say, if I get that
written guaranty up here in fifteen min
utes, will it do?"
Gerald looked him speculatively in
the eye.
"If you telephone, and can then as
sure me, on your word of honor, that
the document I require shall be in
the house before you leave, 1 shall
permit you to remain," he decreed
and Hickey looked him quite soberly
in the eye for half a minute.
"I'll have it here all right," he de
cided, and sprang for the telephone,
and came back in three minutes with
his word of honor. They could hear
him, from the library, yelling, from
the time he gave the number until he
hung up the receiver, and if there was
ever urgency in a man's voice, it was
in the voice of Hickey.
Gerald Fosland took a commanding
position in the corner of the room,
where he could see the countenances
of each of the eager young gentlemen
present. He stood behind a chair,
with his hands on the back of it, in
his favorite position for responding to
a toast.
"Gentlemen: Edward B. Allison is
about to complete a transportation
system encircling the globe. The ac
quisition of the foreign railroads will
be made possible only by a war, which
is already arranged. The war, which
will be between Germany and France,
will begin within a month. France,
unable to raise a war fund otherwise,
will sell her railroads. The Russian
line is already being taken from its
present managers, and will be turned
over to Allison's world, syndicate with
in a week. The important steamship
lines will become involved in financial
difficulties, which have already been
set afoot in England. Following these
events will come a successful rebel
lion In India, and the independence of
all the British colonies.
"You will probably require some tan
gible evidence that these large plans
are on the way to fulfillment I call
your attention to the fact that, last
week, the Russian duma began a vio
lent agitation over the removal of Olaf
Petrovy, who was the controller of the
entire Russian railroad system. Day
before yesterday Petrovy was unfortu
nately assassinated, and the agitation
in the duma subsided. This morn
ing I read that France is greatly ln^
censed over a diplomatic breach in
the German war office and It is com
mented that the breach is one which
cannot possibly be healed. Kindly
take note of the following facts: From
the first to the eighth of this month,
Baron von Slachten, who is directly
responsible for Germany's foreign re
lations, was seen ia this city at the
Fencing club, under the incognito of
Henry Brokaw. Chevalier Ducham
beau, director of the combined bank
ing interests of France, was here In
that same week, and was seen at the
Montparnasse Cercle He bore the
name Of Andre Tires. The Grand
Duke Jan of Russia was here as Ivan
Strolesky. James Wellington Hodge,
the master of the banking system of
practically all the world, outside the
United States, was here as E. B.
Chalmers. Prince Nito of Japan, Yu
Hip-Lun of China and Count Cassioni
of Rome were here at the same time
and they all called on Edward E. Alli
son.
"Furthermore, gentlemen, I will give
you now the names of the eight finan
ciers, who, with Edward E. Allison, are
interested in the formation of the In
ternational Transportation company,
which proposes to oozdrol the com
merce of the world. These gentlemen
are Joseph G. Clara, Eldridge Babbitt,
W. T. Chisholm, Richard Haverman,
Arthur Grandin, Robert E. Taylor, A.
L. Vance. I would suggest that, if you
disturb these gentlemen in the man
ner which I have understood you to
be quite capable of doing, you might
secure from some or^e of them a trace
of corroboration of the things I have
said. This is all." He paused and
bowed stiftly. "Gentlemen, I wish to
add one word. I thank you for your
kind attention, ind I desire to say
that, while I have violated tonight sev
eral of the rules which I had believed
that I would always hold unbroken, I
have done so in the interest of a jus
tice which is greater than all other
considerations. Gentlemen, good
night."
"Have you a good photograph
handy?" asked the squib, awakening
from his trance.
Nine young gentlemen put the squib
right about that photograph. Hickey
was lost in the fields of Elysian phan-
There He Phoned Half a Dozen Mes
sages.
tasy, and the red-headed reporter was
still writing and stuffing loose pages
in his pocket, and the one with the
beard was making a surreptitious
sketch of Gerald Fosland, to use on
the first plausible occasion. He had
in mind a special article on wealthy
clubmen at home.
"Company incorporated?" inquired
Mickey, who was the most practical
poet of his time.
"I should consider that a pertinent
question," granted Gerald. "Gentle
men, you will pardon me for a mo-
ment," and he bowed himself from the
room.
He had meant to ask that one simple
question and return, but, in Arlene's
blue room, where sat two young wom
en, In a high state of quiver, he had
to make his speech all over again, ver
batim, and detail each interruption*
and describe how they received the
news, and answer, several times, the
variously couched question, if he
really thought their names would not
be mentioned. It was fifteen minutes
before he returned, and he found the
twelve young gentlemen suffering with
an Intolerable itch to be gone. Five
of the young men were in the library,
quarreling, in decently low voices,
over the use of the phone. The Im
perturbable Hickey, however, had it,
and he held on, handing in a story, em
bellished and colored and frilled and
beribboned as he went, which would
make the cylinders on the presses
curl up.
"I am sorry to advise you, gentle
men, that I am unable to tell you if
the International Transportation com
pany is, or is about to be, incorpo
rated," reported Gerald gravely, and
he signaled to William to open the
front door.
As the rapt and enchanted Hickey
passed out of the door, a grip like a
pair of ice tongs caught htm by the
arm, and drew him gently but firmly
t)LClC*
"Sorry," observed Gerald, "but you
don't go."
"Hasn't that boy got here.
yet?" demanded Hickey. in an imme
diate mood for assassination. He was
a large young man, and defective mes
senger boys were the bane of his
existence.
"William says not," replied Gerald.
"For the love of Mike, let me go!"
pleaded Hickey. "This stuff has to be
handled while it's Btill stazling! It's
the biggest story of the century!
That boy'll be here any minute."
"Sorry," regretfully observed Ger
ald "but I shall be compelled to de
tain you until he arrives."
"Can't do it!" returned the desper
ate Hickey. "1 have to go!" and he
made a dash for the door.
Once more the ice tongs clutched
him by the shoulder and sank into the I
flesh
"If you try that again, young man.
I shall be compelled to thrash you."
stated the boat, again mildly.
Hickey looked at him, very thought
tally. Gerald was a alim-walsted gen
UttP", but he had broad shoulders and
a depressmgly calm eye, auii he proD
bably exercised twenty minutes every
morning by an open window, after his
cold plunge, and took a horseback ride,
and walked a lot, and played polo, and
a few other effete things like that.
Hickey sat down and waited, and,
though the night was cold, he mopped
his brow until the messenger can.,!
CHAPTER XXVII.
Chicken, or Steak?
On the outbreak of a bygone rude
ness between the United States and
Spain, one free and entirely uncurbed
metropolitan paper, unable to ade
quately express its violent emotions
on the subject, utilized its whole front
page with the one word "War!" prink
ed in red ink.
Now, however, the free and entirely
uncurbed, having risen most gloriously
in the past to every emergency, no
matter how great, positively floun
dered in the very wealth of its oppor
tunities.
Saturday night, however, saw no
late extras. The "story" was too big
to touch without something more tan
gible than the word of even so sub
stantial a man as Gerald Fosland and
long before any of the twelve eager
young gentlemen had reached the of
fice, the scout brigade, hundreds
strong, were sniffing over every trail
and yelping over every scent.
Until three o'clock in the morning
every newspaper ofllce in New York
was a scene of violent gloom. The
world's biggest sensation was in those
ofl&ces, and they couldn't touch it with
a pair of tongs! The deterrent was
that the interests involved were so
large that one might as well sit on a
keg of gunpowder and light it, as to
make the slightest error. The gentle
men mentioned as the organizers of
the International Transportation com
pany collectively owned about all the
money and all the power and all the
law in the gloriously Independent
United States of America and if they
got together on any one subject, such
as the squashing of a newspaper, for
instance, something calm and impres
sive was likely to happen. On the
other hand, if the interesting story
the free and entirely uncurbed had in
its possession were true, the squash
ing would be reversed, and the free
ness and entirely uncurbedness would
be still more firmly seated than ever,
which is the palladium of our national
liberties and heaven be good to us.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
ESCORT COULDN'T SEE JOKE
Incident at Coney Island That Prob
ably Taught Confetti Thrower a
Lesson He Needed.
A large well-dressed man and a
handsome woman were in the Mardi
Gras crowd at Coney island, New
York They had been waiting some
time for the parade and the woman
began to yawn. Now yawning is a
very unladylike performance in pub
lic, and rather a dangerous one in a
Coney island crowd, for while the
woman had her mouth wide open and
was getting all the worth there is to
be had out of a good healthy yawn a
young man bent on mischief threw a
handful of confetti right plump into the
orifice. The woman coughed and splut
tered. and the hoodlum shrieked with
delight. Those about him thought it
was a grand joke, tooall but the
woman's escort. He reached out one
powerful arm and grabbed the skylark
ing youth by the shoulder. Then he
brought his fist down on the young
man's straw hat. crushing it and driv
ing his head through the crown and
partly over his ears. Next he turned
the young man around and kicked him
with ail the force and swiftness that
outraged dignity and fierce anger to
gether with great strength afforded
If that youth recovers from that kick
and throws confetti again he will be
careful in picking his target. And,
maybe, the handsome woman if sh*.
yawns again in a hurry will not do so
in such a mob as turns out to see a
Coney island celebration.
With the Essayists.
Of all the displays of art the essay
is the most indefinable, the most sub
tle, because it has no scheme, no pro
gram.
It does not set out to narrate or to
prove it has no dramatic purpose, no
imaginative theme its essence is a
sympathetic self-revelation, just as in
talk a man may speak frankly of his
own experiences and feelings, and yet
avoid any suspicion of egotism, if his
confidences are des:gned to illustrate
the thoughts of others rather than to
provide a contrast and a self-glorifica
tion.
The essayist gives rather than
claims he compares rather than pa
rades. He is led by his interest
others to be interested in himself, and
it is as a man rather than as an indi
vidual that he takes the stage.
He must be surprised at the discov
eries he makes about himself, rather
than complacent, he must coadone his
own discrepancies rather than exult
in them.
Heai'-hy Reaction.
Fortunate are they who react Health
ily. They have an easy path through
life, no mattei what they may meet.
The habit of reacting healthily from
the small trials gives them power to
vanquish the big tests, even the calam
ities.
And pitiful are they who react un
healthily. Every day of their lives
they nflict icrment on themselves,
no matter hov favored they may be
by fortune. Their practice oi reacting
unhealthily from small things makes
them easy vi.'ims of the big trials.
And it is sometimes said of a maa
that he drinks like a fish- -but he in*
bibes a different flaUL
IESTEI CANADA'S
WOiEilOL YE
Wheat Yields Reports Extraor
dinarily Heavy.
When one hears of individual wheat
yields of thirty-live to forty bushels
per acre, there is considerable incre
dulity, but when yields, in whole town
ships extending into districts covering
three and four and five hundred square
miles in area, of upwards of fifty and
some as high as sixty-five bushels per
acre are reported, one is led to put
his ear to the ground to listen for fur
ther rumblings. The writer having
heard of these wonderful yields made
a trip through the provinces of Mani
toba, Saskatchewan and Alberta, to
ascertain first hand their truthfulness.
It was remarkable tc discover that
Dame Rumor was no rumorer after all,
that modesty was her mantle, that
all tliat had been said of these yields
was true, and that yields of over sev
enty bushels per acre were told of.
These were so high that the truthful
ness of the story was doubtful and
very little was said of them. But
such there were, and not in one in
stance, but in several, not in one lo
cality but scattered In places hun
dreds of miles apart. Leaving these
out altogether,*there were large areas
in which the average was over fifty
bushels per acre, which in all com
mon sense ought to satisfy most peo
ple. One hundred and thirty thresh
ers in Alberta have made their re
turns to the local government as re
quired by an act of the Legislature,
and the average of the wheat threshed
was fifty-three bushels to the acre. So
immense was the yield that official
verification was required before giving
it out to the public. Sitting in the
smoking compartment of a day coach,
where on passing through a farming
commanity, there may be gathered the
gossipy yarns of the neighborhood,
one hears also a lot of news. Just
now, the sole topic is that of the
crops. A man with more or less of
a hirsute appendage, smock, clothes
and hands giving the appearance of
one working in the field, was asked
as to the crops. He had got on at
Warner, Alberta. Taking out his pipe,
lighting it and then crossing his knees,
holding his chin in his hands, pos
sessing an air of supreme content
ment, and with an intelligent face, he
looked the man who could give some
information. And he was Just the
man. He was a thresher and on his
way to Milk River to secure some
more help. He was requisitioned for
information. "Yes, a good season.
I've made a lot of money. As for
yields, let's see," and then he began
to string them off. "Peterson had 63
bushels of wheat per acre on his five
hundred acre farm from 380 acres
Roland got 65 bushels per acre Bu
gler had one hundred and ten acres
that went 63 bushels Carr had 65
bushels per acre off an eight hundred
acre field." And he gave others run
ning from 58 to 66 bushels per acre.
All these people lived east of War
ner, Alberta. Looking out of the win
dow and seeing immense fields, still
covered with stocks he was asked
why they were not threshed, he re
plied that there were not enough
"rigs" in the district, and that they
would not get through before Christ
mas.
An American writing of a trip he
made through Western Canada says:
"I went as far west as Saskatoon,
back to Regina, Moose Jaw, and down
on the Soo line, and I must say that
I never saw such crops, or ever heard
of anything to compare with it in
any country on earth. The country
is over Jhe hill, and certainly the farm
ers have a lot to be thankful for.
There are very few of them that
have done their work and done it
properly but what have their debts
paid and have bank accounts left."
And he only traveled the skirt of
the country. The same story could
be written of any part of any of
three Provinces.Advertisement.
Big Success.
MabelWas your bazaar a success?
GladysYes, indeed the minister
will have cause to be grateful.
MabelHow much were the profits?
Gladys Nothing. The expenses
were more than the receipts. But ten
of us got engaged, and the minister
is in for a good thing in wedding
fees."
Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle ol
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy foi
infants and children, and see that it
Bears the
Signature of
^mwvu^i -,%&&U
In Use For Over 30 Years.
Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria
Too Speedy for a Guaranty.
Joy Rider (stopped by rural con
stable)Haven't we got any right left
in this country? Doesn't the consti
tution guarantee us life, liberty and
the pursuit of happiness?
ConstableIt don't guarantee no
man the pursuit of happiness at 90
I miles an hour."
Not Gray Hairs trat Tired Eye
make us look older than we are. Keep
your Eyes young and you will look young*.
After the *ovies Murine Tour Eyes. Don't
tell vnur s?e Murine Eye Remedy Co.,
Chicago, Sends Eye BOOK on request.
Safe.
EdithAren't you afraid of mice?
EtlelNot now when I'm wearing
cat fur on my shoe topa
