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title: 'New Ulm weekly review. (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, January 23, 1884, Image 1',
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VOLUME VII. N O 4
i BLR I ED EVERY WM)SEttlA BY
Office over Oily Dru# Stor*
OIK* Dollar and a half per veai* in
R- ton ~4dv-rtliifr
rrRNISHKD LPON APPLICATION
A. tvi tiiements In io..bl column, iauble th
single ci tuin it i UIHI-
Biisin Ourtlsofflv inns, oneyeai ^5,00,enc
uliliMon I line 75 eta
All ti ttolentndveitN montatobe aid for is
Vilvei tiiements Inserted In thelosnl otlce col
ninns ten et a II te for the fhs iii*f rtion and 5
sunt* A line foi earn aubsequewt into on but no
notice insei teil for lens than 50 cts
A nceinenti or nvuungeg and iWthn tuaei t.
ill fiee, bit olutuaiy notice^, except In special
zat-ex will be eh.ii gerl at iilvtrtiiB i pte*.
e il notice* will beehaiged 75 cts ?t folio for
thn fli -i ine tion ami 2% cts per folio for earl
jubs! tjnent In ^ei ion All le^nl notice" noimt be
n)ioil the ie^poiiilitlt of the attorney oiderlnr
hem published, affidavit of tmbilr itlon will
be given until the publicxtlun fee* aie iid.
In connection with Hie paper, vie have .t eplen
itl assoi tment of johbing mateilxl, and we are
lepaied to execute all kind* ol printing in a tyle
nsui n I and at modernte rate*
I A MAKDKM,
Office, corner Mtaa and FW sHs
OW LL1L MDfXEStyiA
iIIY8ICIA A SUROEON.
Ovrira AT TII CITT Ltnvo frroas.
DR. B. CARL,
Physician and Snrgeon.
EV\ LLM, MINN.
-iiifl residence on German St
i)R W. WEL.LC0ME,
N| wp 1 V- Mmn
I)R ZUR NEDDEN,
P//T 1CIAN and SURGEON
Will mswpi ills in nt 01 conntt
all lioins of the Uy and ni^lit
OFFI CE -Rphuk*' lui.ldmg ojpo
tt tiie post offit H.
I)R KARL SCI1TJL1N,
OLUUCT and A^JRIST.
Cor 7t ckson Sts ST. P^-UL.
JOHN WHI fE,
ii In ite ol tint Sr
tet iiiiuy i II Tiont
^olorinni 'y JSiu'gooii.
tu)s Hi th Toi ill'
NEW Uu.l vlINN"
JOS A. IX'KSTFJV,
Attornpy and COL se5or
Titles examined and pi iected
Paiti -iilai attention giver. collec
iJ^*0rfiPH over Biowu Co "ink
NEW ULM, N!IN\.
Oi r, l'ovr ()??'K iNEW I I MINN
ADOLPH SE1TER, I iop'r.
'I his I oiiif is he most cent tlly lo-
(.mil lionsf in \lu ciij a 1
folds grood ^simjilpR' BIB
Kppp^ on hand a larcf^ find well
as^oitpd stock of rnillinerv, fancjT
goods and zephyr wool, opposite
the Union Hotel, between econd
and Third North streets.
NEW ULM MINN
Mi I I N E3 "& IT
i. Anton Olding,
NEXT DOOR TO
SUMMER"* STORE, NEW ULM
i on tnd a pood Mock of Millnery Goods con
sietmif in p^rt of Hats Bonnets, Velvets Silk*
Riblx ni? Fe ther iman Hu Vlowers &c
A]o "ern.foi Htnminngmo lcgrain^. fet nip
iau 11 -llkmil all en bioidei\ Woik and Kaohion
ibl ilir-amu^ine onetoouler
J. FEi.NLKtb &
etc etc. ic
?51 c^ :j: E \N atei St M.lwauke*
DFVLFR I N
Minn. St., opposite i'o- offite
NEWUL^I UI\ N
J. B. Arnold,
CODKIRB &^HEATINB SfOVES
Tin-ware & Farming Implemuts
The shop is in Charge ot tin experienced hmd
who gives the mending and repairing tin-ware
MB special utter ion All work wai rained.
NEW ULM, MINN.
'anned, Dried and Green Fruits,
Fl.JUR AND FEED
u.. WOODEN A.NTD
New Ulm Minnesota.
FRESH AND CANNED
\.ad everything else belonging to a
NEW ULM, MINN
Hits and GIBS,
Mens' andBoys' Clothing,
Ladias Jackets and Djlmans
LADIES' AND GENTS'
CROCKERY & GLASSWARE
BOOTS AND SHOES,
And tha\eiy latest pittema in
Dress Goods & Trimmings
My pni chases have henn made di
icctand foi cash, and I am theieby
enahled to nirtke the lowest pi ices
Call and examine my stock and com
paie pi ices hpfoie ptiicli i^in^ Ne
and CHEAP SALES
JOHN N UMAK
Di li i in
Hots, Caps, Motions,
(wfttrrrirs, i*rovi ioo*
Cruvl.ery a oil Gfttsso* we,
Gtt'iit, lipietl uul onml
lfrttils% ft% eft.
I will alv\a^ talvt t.nm ptoiluce in \clung
liis iio(N ami pa tliu highist in nket puce ioi i I
1 in i~ ol ip i us
In t( run on uli inj HI I t\c a fiiN tii"
Mlooniu UI-IH (1 wii'i i-pltuiliil In 1 ml il) in
in) tih* mills will iU.i\ hud ^o I li JUOM a id
ogtio, mid oeij lot i (inn i "(le did lilnih
\ll no ids |)iai ha if mt will I) 1 I'v lt
ni\ iri nfilit tltj fiti* i (osi
Mini i*ot i btittt, \twLiin, i
Dealt i in
HA It 1II AR E, Tt\ WA It RAM
The Celebrated White. Howe,
and denleis in
NUTS, GREEN FRl ITS,
New American & Singer
Cor Minn. fc|U Sts.. New Ulm, INN
Eagle MU 1 Co.
Gradual Reduction Roller
NEW ULM. MINX
BEN IZ CO
importers and Wholesale Di-akrs in
3 W. 31 St, ST P\UI \Irnn
\fA\LFACll Rl It Ol' ot UL\Li It
Boots and Shoe:!
dinn. &.JdN sti4-
Nev\ Ul-ti \Jiin
of town's an
'oys* buots ai.d shes. iiidladu^' a,
hildiens" -,hoe roust mtlv k*jt
ii Old. Onston wn tnd tepani
pioinptly atiHi to
MAHUFAtTCtlK OP ANl 1)1. \L1 E lv
Ulh'Oljdciy and all custom work
pretaining to my business pioinptly at
tended to. Minnesota siieet, next
door of Schnobiicn'g saloon.
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica,
Lumbago. Bacluche heat) che Toothache,
ICui'ii* ^flJ *i ICito*.
AI X\\, OI-lIU Hll.lMl I'USi K\V AIHE8
btldbv Diugginuur 1 li ers vorjwnere Hflj Centia botttr
Dh'TU'Mii iu 11 I aur iact
THIi til Lfc. A. VOuGM a CO.
VOL.l.JEK.it'O liat iiuur d.
BROWN CO. BANK.
Cof Minn, and Cfintre Strs.
NEW ULM, MINN
Collection' and all business pfrtainmg to banking
promptly attended to.
j\[anufactnrer of and Dealer in
Minnesota blreet, next door to C.
NEW ULM MINN
Ahl ViAT i
I'I IM'SI i W mes, Liqiois .Hid
C'lir I i ntl^
II I 1\ l\C|)t tin h.ind
wu-s '"Htel. "rp*
G.iAl sTUEB., Prop'r.
1 me i| ot hesji mcati* san
-i_ .i'i 'il eti con-it tl^ in
I. li i i d /s ti IUI ii .Minh
pi in j'i i\ it it IKU
CASH PAN) i Lk HIDES
Wmt S i Ulm Mm
ttf le bought and sold in 1 irge or
Mil il numbers. Oontr t(*N solicit
ANTON BREY, Prop
MINNESOTA ST. NEW ULM.MINN
nndtrsigned would lespe-tfully lnfnrin
th puhhc that ho have establiehiMl mem
market one door north cf the Union House 1
will *parr no pain-i or i ins to keep rk
sii|iplit il with only the best Iresh icti ts, sansu^
and rythingtlseiisualli found in i fl^t-clasf
meat maiket, and my prices will alwajs tomp.ir*
inv irably with thost 0 no tompelitoi1-
hind artich purchased of us vil I be sent to tin
purchusi house withouti xtra charge The high
est irk pnct will always be paid for fat cattle
^f)V i IB if
H. W ERRING,
Dry goods, ILtions, Boots & Shoe
'iediuiii'8wV i^irmuu Luplemeuts
(roti/en date, Minn
From these sources arise three-iourtns or
the diseases of the human"raee. These
symptomsindicate thelrexistence: fioss ot
Appetite, Bowels costive. Sick Head*
ache, fullness after eating, aversion to
exertion of boajr or mind, Ernetatlon
of food, Irrit billty of temper. Low
spirits, A. fel*ng or having ne# leetesl
some dntjr, Dizziness,Flntterlng:at the
Heart. Dots before tlie eyes, highly col
ored Vriiie, CONSTIPXTIOIST and de
mandthe use of a remedythat acta directly
on the liver. Asaldvermedicine TVTT'B
PILiL-S have no equal. Their actionon the
KidneysandSkinis alsoprompt removing
all impurities through theBe three "seav
engers of the system,'* producing appa.
tite, sound di^esti regular stools^aclear
cause no nausea or griping nor interfere
with daily work and area perfect
ANTIDOTE TO MALARIA.
BoIdeTerywVr,a5e. Offloe.44 Mnrrsy8t.,N.T.
TUTTS HAIR DYE.
GRAY HAIB OR WniSKERS changed In
stantly to a Giosar BLACK by a single ap
plication of this DTE. Bold by Druggists,
or sent by express on receipt of fl. K,
Office,44Murray Street,New York.
TUn'S MANUAL OF USEFUL RECEIPT! FIEE.
Ksthe RS1SV. No preparation.
Lced with any tttmnptn tor mark
mar *nr fabric Popular fordacora-
atiT work on lintn. RscaWsdCtn
ta nilHRDA Diploma.
Kiull i. rdSUyoars. Sold by all
lUruBciatf.StaUonsrt* Hsws Agfa
NEW ULM, MINN., WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 1834.
WIT AND HUMOE.
WORSE THAN THE BANANA-SKIN.
Soon will comp good skating.
And man will rip and tear,
Andflyinto the air
Upon the slippery g-iating-.
The slippeiy grating makes man glummer,
Than the banana-skin in summer.
A recent Texas dispatch speaks of a
man who "had been Marshal four years
during which time he killed two men,
and had a state reputation."
"If you can't keep awake," said a
western reform rabbi to one of his
hearers, "why don't you take a pinch
of snuff?" The shrewd reply was: "The
snuff should be put in the sermon."
A Chinese peddler in Oregon being
offered an English shilling observed
that it did not bear the effigy of the
American eagle, and refused to accept it,
saying: "No good. Me heap sabeno
chicken on him."
Two glasses of lager, it is said is
enough to make a Chicago girl go to
bed with her boots on The falsity of
this statement is manifest from the fact
that Chicago beds are not any larger
than beds elsewhere.
A Boston lad had a quarrel with a
playfellow, knocked his backbone out
of adjustment and then ran into the
victim's house and told his mother she
had better hurry out and look after her
son, as he guessed tho boy was suffer
ing from .spinal meningitis.
A graceful writer one day wrote a
beautiful and sublime article on how
easy.'twas to die. But when the chol
era morbus struck him that night, he
had four doctors called in, and the
druggist on the corner took his family
to an excursion with money paid for
the beautiful article.The Judge.
"Gracious, Henry!" exclaimed an
Austin lady to her husband, "you didn't
drink, all that bottle of claret alone, did
you?'' 'Alone darling!'' replied Henry,
"O, no, I didn't drink it alone. I had
just taken two toddies and a rum
punch before I tackled the claret."
The news comes all the way from
Atlanta, Ga., that Patti is fair and fat.
If Georgia had been properly recon
structed such a misrepresentation as
this would have been detect6d and
stamped out at once. Everybody who
has seen Patti knows very well that she
could fall through a coal hole without
cramping her shoulders or injming her
Dramalis Persona Paterfamilias
and his "Only Hope," aged 12. The
latter is busy at his lessons. Only
Hope, suddenly looking up trom his
books"Pa, who was Shylock?" Pa
teifamihas, with a look of surprise and
horror"Great goodness, boy, you at
tend church and Sunday-school every
week and don't know who Shylock was?
Go and read 3our bible, sir."
The theory has been advanced that a
cross dog will not attark a man wno
litts his hat to the animal, "as it pre
sents to the dog's mind the apparition
ot a living creature taking himself
apait." A Noinstown man met a sav
age dog esterday and gave the theory
a practical test. It wa3 not a gratify
ing success It took a dolLu's woith
oi court plaster to stick the man to
gether. Some ot him came apart in re
ality, but the dog didn't ueem to caie a
particle.N01 ri-lown Herald.
"I heeied on de stieets dat Sam
Johnson gib \o a kick Its' night1"'
"He did tor a fac'. Ise suffuin' trom
de effec' ob it \et." "Why didn't yer
kick him back?" "He "Why didn't
yer kick him backp"
"Bekaso dar was
nobody dar but us two." "I don't see
no sense in dat ar." "Yer don't? Well
I does. Dar bein' only two of us pres
ent, et I had kicked him back den hit
would hab been my turn to be kicked
again light off."
An observer says: "Always stand a
wet umbrella with the handle down
one trial will convince you ot the rap
idity with which it will drain, and your
umoiella will last longer it dried
quick y." We tried that once tried it
in a barber shop. We are fully con
vinced of the rapidity with which it will
drain, and if the present possessor will
kindly advise us how it is lasting we
will speak more at length of the test
Answer to "Inquirer:" "No young
ladies should never meddle with Greek.
It's a useless waste of time. When a
girl is thrown out upon the world to
wrestle with a sewing machine or to
encounter the cold charity of a corset
factory, she cannot move the stony
hearts of her employers by chanting
passages from Eschnylus or Euripides.
As to the second branch of the ques
tion, it is sufficient to say that the ex
pression, "Home Rule," was not dethe
rived from Homer.
The information that Jay Gould is
simple in his tastes, and don't like his
beefsteak brought to the table trimmed
up with ostrich feathers and point lace,
is important. The more we know about
Jav Gould the more we want to know.
If we were poor and one of his heirs,
and wanted money very badly, and had
started out of bed at night to fi/ht bur
glars, Jay Gould is just the man we
should want to go ahead of us and hold
An illustration of the ridiculous and
annoying manner a church choir will
sometimes run together the words of a
h\mn is afforded by the remark of a
small boy in one of the front pews of a
church in Boston. The hymn begin
ning, "The consecrated cross I'd bear,"
had just been sung, and in the momen
tary quiet which followed, the per
plexed youth turned to his father and
asked in an earnest whisper: "Say, pa,
where do they keep the conseciated,
A North Hill man tripped on a rug
at the door of his bedroom, slid down a
long flight of stairs, crashed through a
glass door, down the stone steps, rolled
across the yard out through the open
gate, crossed the sidew Ik on the dead
slide and brought up like an avalanche
against a tree box "By heaven," ho
said as he limped back to the house,
"that tree box might have been the
death of me. If I can find the child wh
left that gate open I'll wear out a skata
strap on him." And he did.Burling
Recently a tenderfoot from California
was in one of the arid districts of Ari
zona, and, being thrown in contact
with an hdnest miner, endeavored to
draw the native out. "Little cloudy to
day, ain't it?" asked the tenderfoot.
"Yes," said the honest miner. "Looks
like rain don't you thinlrso?" "No,"
said the honest miner. "Indeed!" said
the tenderfoot "why, from the looks
of the sky, I'm certain it is going to
rain." "Wall, p'r'rps it is, young fel
ler, p'r'aps it is," replied the honest
miner, indulgently, "but I've been here
ten year, an' it haint rained yit." The
tenderfoot concluded it would stay
There are some men with so nice a
sense of pride that they would rather
die than ciir\ 1 niatketb tsket through
the streets. "lXvu el Webt
do it, so did T'a-diral WoJse-y, so did
Luther and so did Alfred the G. eat,
but that is no leasjn why any other
man should. Each case is to be de
cided on its own merits. But the facts
of common observation warrant the
formulation of the following rule, to-wit:
That no man ought to carry a market
basket througu the public streets who
has a wite strong enough to carry it
A Pike county man, hearing that a
neighbor had. come into possession of a
strayed horse, laid claim to it as his
own. The neighbor refused to deliver
the animal up, and the case was tried
before a justice of the peace. The Court
required the plaintiff to identity the
pi-operty, and alter several ineffectual
attempts to obtain a description from
him finally asked whether it was black,
a gray, a roan or a chestnut horse. "It
was a chestnut," said the plaintiff.
"What do you understand by a chest-
nut?" continued the Court. "A horse
with buns in it tail," was the answer,
whereupon the Court rendered a ver
dict for the defendant.
A Small Boy's Painful Discovery.
"I don't altogether like this young
man Millikin who comes to see you so
olten. I heai that he is nothing but a
poor dry-goods clerk," is what the
head of the family said to his daughter
one day at the dinner table.
"Ho is a vory nioe young gentle-
man," replied the daughter, "besides
he is something more than a 'poor dry
goods clerk.' He gets a large salary,
and is manager of one of the depart
ments, and expects some day to have
an interest in the business."
"I hope he may," responded the old
man, "but he strikes me as a very
flippant, impei tment joung person,
and in my opinion he should be sat
"Well I have invited him to take tea
with us this evening," said the daugh
ter, "and I hope you will treat him
politely at least. You will find him a
very different person tiom what you
suppose him to be."
"On, I'll treat him politely enough,"
That evening Mr. Millikin appealed
it supper, and made a nio&t favorable
impression upon the old gentleman.
"He is a clever young fellow alter all,"
he thought. "I have done him an in
It was just here thatBobby spoke out.
Bobby w.is a well-meaning little boy,
utit too talkative.
"Papa," he ventured, "}rou
what you said to-day at dinner about
Mr. Mill kin that he was an impertinent
oun man and ought to be sat down
"Silence, sii!" shouted the father,
svv illowing a mouthful of hot potato.
But the little tellow wouldn't silence.
"It's all right," he continued, con
fidentialiy, but in a whisper loud
enough to be heard out doors, "he ha,
icen sat down upon Sister sat down
on him last night lor two hours."
Alter this the dinner went on more
queitl}, owing to Bobby sudden 'tnd
veiy jeiky departure.Fhtladuptua
1 a a
Dein Stanley's Love of America.
The Dean, who was accessible to all,
was specially accessible to the Ameri
can visitois. The were always wel
comed with simple but most delightful
hospitality, which was abundantly re
paid to lnm in the memoiable visit
which he paid to America shortly be
fore his death.
This visit may be ranked among the
happiest incidents ot his saddened
later years. He was refreshed by new
scenes, and the enjoyment of those
scenes was unalloyed by the associa
tions of a past over which death
brooded with the shadow of his dark
Amid the strife of tongues to which
he was subjected in England in conse
quence ot ecclesiastical parties, he was
delighted with the warmth of a wel
come given to him with unanimous
accord in America by all classes and
all schools ot thought. But the enthu
siasm of that welcome was chiefly due
to the brilliant and noble manner in
which he had discharged his duties as
Dean of Westminster, and had thus
formed the acquaintance of many
leading Americans. For to know Dean
Stanley was to love him. Acquaintance
with him soon ripened into fuendship.
Canon Farrer Youth's Companion.
The ./Esthetics of Electricity.
In ordinary lights the direction of
flame is always upward, but electri
cal illumination is not confined by any
limits. This suggested to Mrs. Edison,
the wife of the celebrated inventor, the
use of fanciful devices as fixtures for
electric lighting. Instead of a single
jet flaring upward, the electric light
can be distributed in every direction.
Some extremely beautiful results are
thus obtained. In one exhibition it a
flower-pot overgrown with a wilderness
of foliage all done in polished brass.
The lights spring from among the
leaves like flowers from tfieir stem.
Another device is called the umbrella
light in which the lamps are arranged
in a circle located beneath a shining
reflector. A little motor causes the
lamps to revolve, and the result is two
apparent whirling circles of flame.
Another charming effect is a hanging
framework ot brass, in which the lamps
are so placed that the stems form a
basket that may be filled with artificial
plants and flowers in their natuial
colors. The lights can be made to
permeate ornaments in rooms and pro
duce surprising effects. In the magni
ficent ball-room or drawing-room of
the future, there will be no flaring jets
of flame, the lights will be distributed
so as not to offend the eye, but will be
so combined as to heighten the effects
of all the decorations ot the interior of
1 1 s
On one of the northern trains recently
was an old lady who evidently had never
before made a railroad journey. After
looking about her for some time in curi
osity, her eyes alighted on the bell line,
and she asked the water boy, who hap
pened to be passing at the time, what it
was for. "That, marm," said the boy,
with a twinkle in his eyes, 'is to ring the
bell when you want anything to eat,"
and passed on. Shortly' after the old
lady got down the family umbrella,
and reaching* up to the bell line gave a
vigorous pud. Of course the brakes were
applied, the windows thrown up, ques
tions asked, etc., the old lady sitting
calmly through the confusion. Present
ly the conductor came rushing into the
car, exclaiming: "Who pulled thai
bell?" "I did,"-replicd the old lad\
meekly. "Well, what do you want?r
snapped the official, impatiently
"Weil," said the old party, mediatively
"you can bring me some hash." Boston
_. j^y^, 'H'%c\^!i~A __ .__.
The stigmatizing of a word, or a
phrase, or even a pronunciation, as an
Americanism, by any censor, however
accomplished or however thoroughly
English, or by any "authority" (so
called), British or American, however
high, is not to be regarded of very great
moment in the settlement ot the ques
tion, still le as at all decisive. It i &
very rarely that a word or a phrase can
be set down as an Americanism except
upon probability and opinion whereas
the contrary is shown, if shown at all,
uoon fact-proof that cannot be gainsaid.
The citation of a word from English
liteiature at or bcfoie the time of Dry
den shows that it cannot possibly be
"American" in origin evidence of its
continued use by British wiiiers during
the last cenlurv and the present proves
the impossibility of its being an Amer
icanism many sense of that term. In
deed, evidence and proof should hard
ly be mentioned in relation to this
showing Of words and phrases which
have such origin and history aghas just
been specified, it is simply to bo said
that they are English. To stamp a
word or a phrase as an Americanism,
it is necessary to show that (1) it is of
so-called "American" originthat is,
that it lit st came into use in the United
States of North America or that (2) it
has been adopted in those states from
some language other than English, or
has beenTcept in use theie while it has
wholly passed out ot use in England.
Now these points i "\*r dlfficviltof
sufficient pi oof, and the defeats of those
who have assumed them in vaiious in
stances aie almost numberless. The
pioduetion of unknown and unsuspect
ed evidence has often toppled bold as
sertions over, and swept into oblivion
judgments long reverently accepted
and it may at any time do so again.
When those who assume to speak au
thoritatively upon the subject declare
that a word or a pin ase is an Ameri
canism, they must be prepared with a
full and satisfactory answer to the
question, What do 3*011 know about it?
They may peihaps know what is En
glish, but how will the\ prove the neg
ative, that this or that woid or phrase
is not English3
Indeed, generally the
declaration that a word is an Ameri
canism (or not English) can only be
(what it almost alwajs is the mere ex
pression ot the declarei's opinion that
he or she does not lemember havinc
heard the word, and rather dislikes i
and therefore assumes that it is not En
glish, but "Amcucan At its stronf
est, such a judgment is the meie opin
ion ot a cntical scholar whose reading
in English literaluio, both ancient an?l
modem, has been both wide and ob-vei*3
seivant. An opinion fiorn such a quar
ter has some value, but it becomes ab
solutelv woithleo^in the piesence of
Now it is veiy significant of the diffi
culty, which besets this question that
British journals ot the highest standino
keep up the manuf.ictuie oi an ever
lengthening chain ot blunders repaid
to it each one, now and then, as if"im
pelled by some blind instinct, adding
its little link ot welded ignorance and
piejudice and haidly le^o remarkable
is it that studious men, not taught by
study the Aisdom of le^eive, make as
sertions which lival those of the jour
nalists in laslmess and in enor
lhchaid Giant While in December At
The Spiritual Effects of Drunkenness.
An editorial in "Topics of the Time,"
of the December Century says: "This
loss of self-respect, the lowering of am
bition, and the fading out of hope are
siarns of the progress of this disease in
the character. It is a mournful specta
clethat of the brave, ingenious, high
spirited man sinking steadily down
into the degradation of inebriety but
how many such spectacles are visible
all over the land! And it is not in the
chaiacter of those alone who are noto
rious drunkards that such tendencies
appear. They are often distinctly seen
in the lives of men who are never
drunk. Sir Henry Thompson's testi
mony is emphatic to the effect that
'the habitual use of fermented liquors,
to an extent far short of what is neces
sary to produce intoxication, injures
the body and diminishes the mental
power.' If, as he testifies, a large
proportion of the most painful and
dangerous maladies of the body are
due to 'the use of fermented liquors,
taken in the quantity which is conven
tionally deemed moderate,' then it is
certain that such use of them must re
sult also in serious injuries to the men
tal and moral nature. Who does not
know reputable gentlemen, physicians,
artists, clergymen even, who were
never drunk in their lives, and never
will be, but who reveal, in conversation
and in conduct, certain melancholy ef
fects of the drinking habit? The brain
is so often inflamed with alcohol that
its functions aro imperfectly perform
ed and there is. a perceptible loss of
mental power and of moral tone. The
drinker is not conscious of this loss
but those who know him best are pain
fully aware that his perceptions are
less keen, his judgment less sound,
his temper less serene, his spiritual
vision less clear, because he tarries
every day a little too long at the wine.
Even those who refuse to entertain as
cetic theories respecting these bever
ages may be able to see that there are
uses of them that stop short of drunk
enness, and that are still extremely
hurtful to the mind and heart as well
as the body. That conventional idea
of moderation, to which Sir Henry
Thompson refers, is quite elastic the
term is stretched to cover habits that
are steadily despoiling the life of its
rarest fruits. The drinking habit is
often def nded by reputable gentlemen
to whom the very thought of a debauch
would be shocking, but to whom, if it
were only lawful, in the tender and
just solicitude of friendship,such words
as these might be spoken: 'It is true
that you are not drunkards, and may
never be but if you could know, what
is too evident to those who love you
best, how your character is slowly los
ing the firmness of its texture and the
fineness of its outline how your art de
teriorates in the delicacy of its touch
how the atmosphere of your life seems
to grow murky and the sky lowers
gloomily above you,you would not
think your daily indulgence harmless
in its measure. It is in just such lives
that drink exhibits some of its
most mournful tragedies.'"
The New York Journal is asked: "If
a youth is engaged to a young lady
whose father 'shuffles off,' what is the
youth's place at the funeral?" This is
a somewhat difficult question to an
swer but if the youth were to "shuffle
iff" there would be no trouble to de
termine his position at the funeral. He
would fall in, immediately behind the
Beautiful Heads cf Hair.
"How do you keep our little boy's
hair such a beautiful golden shade?"
asked a reporter of a fashionable New
"Why, that is the natural color,"
said the lady somewhat indignantly, as
she twined along golden curl over her
"But doesn't his hair grow darker as
he grows older?" asked the reporter.
"I have heard that some mothers can
keep that bright gold in their children's
hair all the time.
"Yes," assented the lady, "that is
so. I kept the color in my little girl's
hair until she was 15, and then she had
enough vanitv to take care of it her-
"How did you do it?" asked the re
"Her hair was very fine and long
when she was 6 years old, but it began
to turn dark so every other day I wash
ed it in soda and common soap, and
when it was dry brushed it thoroughly
and then curled it. Once a wees I
rubbed the scalp with raw egg."
"Doesn't washing the hair so much
make it dry?"
"Yes, if you do not brush it thorough
ly, and then it is the best thing for it."
"Your children have very ljeautiful
hair," said the reporter to a lady who
sat in her drawing-room, with a half
dozen children playing about her. All
of them but two had light-yellow or
golden hair, with bangs and curls.
"Yes." she replied "Those two
little children with short hair are my
sister's. I wouldn't have a child about
me unless it had pretty hair but my
sister thinks differently. Teddy, the
bo3', insisted on having his hair cut
when he was 6, and he had the most
beautiful yellow hair, just like spun
silk and then Flora, the little girl,
cried to have her hair cut, to be like
Teddy. My sister says it makes a boy
more manly to have short hair, but for
nry part I don't see any necessity of
being manly at 6."
"How do you keep 3'our children's
hair so pretty?"
"O," she replied, "they have a
French bonne who washes their hair in
salt-water and a little potash and puts
it up in curl papers every night. Their
hair does not curl naturally, 30U know."
"Isn't the salt-water injurious to the
"No, I think not, although I have
often heard so but my children have
heavy hair, and they have had it wash
ed in salt-water ever since the3' were
A lady living on Fifth avenue has a
little gnl with large black eyes and
yellow hair floating over her
shoulders to her waist. The reporter
asked her if she did not possess a very
unusual style of beauty^
"O, no," she replied "but I bleach
her hair. I am partial to dark 03 es
and fair hair, so I keen horhair bleach-
"How do 3011 accomplish it?" asCed
the ic porter.
"I wash it in lemon-juice once a
week, and the acid makes it light. My
other children have all back hair, and
I keep it ciopped close to their heads,
but Ethel is the plainest ot all of them,
so I thought it was well to give her
some sp 'cial advantage."
"WI13 don't you nave jour boy's
ctuls cut off this warm weather?" said
the 11 porter to a Brooklyn lady.
"Cut off my boj's beautiful hair!"
she exclaimed "O, I wouldn't do it
lor $100 cash."
"But it will have to come off soon,"
said the reporter.
"I know it, and it breaks my heart
to think of it so don't mention it to me
The Contributor's Ten Commandments.
The following version of the "Con
tributor's Ten Commandments" is
taken from a Swedish paper. It would
be interesting to collate it with any
similar decalogue existing in other
"1. If you wish to send a commu
nication to a paper, do it at once.
What is news at this moment is no
longer so to-morrow.
"2. Be concise in your statement,
for thereby you save your own time
and that of the reader. Explanations,
not words, facts, but no reflections on
"3. Be simple, write distinctly, do
not talk about to-day or yesterday,
but give the name of the day or the
"4. Begin frequently a new line,
which gladdens the compositor. .Write
short sentences for the benefit of the
reader. Use many stops and commas,
and do not forget to put them in.
"5. Do not forget single letters or
numbers, but cross the whole word out
when a correction is wanted.
"6. First and foremost, write only
on one side of the paper. A hundred
lines on one side can be cut into ten
pieces, and set up by several composi
tors in ten minutes. If written on both
sides only one compositor can arrange
it, which will take some hours.
"7. A MS. paper which takes some
hours in getting into type is in danger
of not being printed the first day, and
is passed over till another day.
"8. What is kept till the next day
is no longer new, and may not get in.
Each day has its own trouble, yesterday
is always in the wrong.
"9. Put your name and address on
the back of your copy.
"10. Above all speak the truth, and
nothing but the truth. you talk about
yourself use the third person say what
you have to say without false modesty,
but also without conceit."
Admirable rules these, and if they
are obeyed haw happy must be the life
of an editor in Sweden. But the deca
logues seem to exist in order to be
broken, and it is to be feared that even
Sweden the editorial chair is no bed
of roses.Pall Mall Gazette.
An Obdurate Fellow.
Three or four dock-wallopers, led by
a man who had a $2 bill in his hand,
entered the office of a prominent tug
owner the other day, and the spokes
'Say, captain, the boys out there
have been blowing around about the
tpeed of tugs, and I've finally made
'em put up."
"Why, I've got abet of a dollar that
ou have a tug which can break the
hawser made, on a square
"Well?" "Well, I want to win it. If I do 111
divide with you."
The captain not only refused to send
to Buffalo for the tug mentioned, but
would not pledge himself to buy anew
hawser for the trial. In fact he dis
missed the matter so frigidly that the
stakes had to be returned and the wa
ger declared off. That'9 just the way
with some men after they get a few
dollars aheul.Detroit Free Press, i
/U?lf ?Mfc?- ^T,
WHOLE NUMBER 316
A Study of Husbands.
We hear much about the art of win
ning a husband. Let us take a step
further and make a study of keeping a
husband. If he is worth winning, ne
is worth keeping. This is a wicked
world and man is dreadfully mortal.
Let us take him just as he is and not as
he ought to be. In the first place he is
very weak. The wife must spend the
first two years in discovering these
weaknesses, count them on her fingers
and learn them by heart The fingers
of both hands will not be too many.
Then let her study up these weaknesses
with a mesh for every one, and the se
cret is hers, is he fond of a good din
ner? Let her tighten the mesh around
him with fragrant coffee, light bread,
and good things generally, and reach his
heart through his stomach. Is he fond
of flattery about his looks? Let her
study the dictionary for sweet words if
her supply gives out Does he like to
hear her tail: about his brilliant intel
lect? Let her pore over the encyclo
Eedia to give variety to the depths of
r admiration. Flattery is a good
thing to study up at all hazards, in all
its delicate shades, but it must be skill*
fully done. The harpy who may try to
coax him away will not do it absurdly.
Is he fond of beauty? Here's the rub
let her be bright and tidy that is
half the victory. Next, let her bang
her hair, metaphorically, and keep up
with the times. A husband who sees
his wife look liko other people is not
oing her "broken down."
is a common sneer that a wo
man has admitted that her sex, in mar
rying, consider more the tastes of her
friends than her own,, yet it must be
considered ludicrous that a man looks
at his wife with the same eyes that oth
er people do. Is he fond of literary
matters? Listen to him with wide open
eyes when he talks of them. A man
doesn't so much care for a literary wife
if she will only be literary enough to
appreciate him. If she have literary
inclinations keep them to herself.
Men love to bo big and great to their
wives. That's the reason why a help
less little woman can marry three times
to a sensible,self-reliant woman's none.
Cultivate helplesncss. Is he curious?
O, then you have a treasure you can
always keep him if you have a secret
and keep it carefully. Is he jealous?
Then, woman, this is not for you cease
torturing that fretted heart that wants
you for its own, and teach him confi
dence. Is he ugly in temper and fault
finding? Give him a dose of his own
medicine skillfully done. Is he de
ceitful? Pity him for his weakness
treat him as one who is born with a
physical defect, but put your wits to
workit is a bad case. It is well not
to be too tame. Men do not waste their
powder and shot on hens and barn
yard fowl they like the pleasure of
pursuing wild gamequail, and grouse,
and deer. A quail is a good model for
a wifeneat and trim, with a pretty,
swift way about, and just a little ca
pricious. Never let yourself become
an old story: be just a little uncertain.
Another important fact is, don't be too
good it hurts his feelings and becomes
monotonous. Cultivate a pleasant
voice, so that this very mortal man
may have his conscience prick him
when he is in jeopardy its pleasant
ring will haunt him much more than
would a shrill one. It is hard to do all
this, besides taking care of the babies
and looking after the vexatious house
hold aflairs and smiling when he comes
home but it seems necessary. "To be
born a woman is to be born a martyr,"
says a husband who has for ten years
watched in amazement his wife tread
ing the winepress of her existence. It
is a pitiful sight to some men. But if
the wife does not make a study of these
things, the harpy will,to steal away the
honor from his silver hairs when he is
full of years and the father of sons and
daughters. At the samo time, good
wife, keep from trying any of these
things on any mortal man but your
own. These rules are only evolved, to
"keep a husband." The poor weak
creature would rather be good than bad
and it is woman's duty to hold him by
every means in her power.
Some Englishmen Abroad.
To English gentlemen resident in
America nothing is more galling than
the misconduct of too many of the
"swell" English visitors. A very prom
inent member of the committee of tho
New York Union club complained to
me bitterly of the behavior of some of
the young Englishmen admitted there.
"Why in the world do you let them
in?" I asked. "Well," he said, 's
name came up yesterday for an exten
sion of his honorary membership, and
I moved its rejection." Young Lord
T. went in a morning coat to a dinner
party in New York, Dut his host was
equal to the occasion. "Ah," he said,
I see you don't know our ways. I will
wait with pleasure until you have
changed your dress." Lord W. did
the same thing at a very smart party
at Newport. Lord M. gave a check
for a considerable sum, which was re
turned dishonored. This year matters
seem worse than ever. Some of those
who went west as guests in the party
of Mr. Hatch seem to have outraged all
decency and very severe reflections
are made, especially on the two young
descendants of our eminent law-lords,
which they should surely, for their own
credit, refute if they can.
Comment is made, too, of the pre
osterou airs which some English and
themselves on the At
lantic steamers. Lord H. (the identi
call Irish peer who was thrown in a
state of irrepressible indignation when,
by an accident, his wife'was sent down
after some lady of lower rank at a
Brighton dinner party, and exclaimed
excitedly, to the consternation of the
company, "Lady H. must have her
rights!") assumed on the Adriatic airs
such as all the queen's sons put togeth
er never gave themselves in their fives.
"I want a bath by 8," his lordship said,
imperiously, to the barber. "You can't
have it, sir it is engaged." "But I
must have it, "said the magnifico of the
eerage of Ireland. "Do you know who
am?" "No, sir." "I am Lord H."
"Ah, indeed," pleasantly rejoined the
barber "glad to make your acquaint
ance, I am sure,'* and in a trice the
barber gripped the lordly paw and rig
orously shook the same, to the ecstacy
of the bystanders and the ineffable dis
gust of the shaken. It is really a bless
ing when such men as the dukes of
Buckingham and Southerland, Lord
Dunraven and Elphinstone, and men
of that stamp visit the United States as
a set-off to the miserable specimens of
the peerage and sprigs of nobility who
bring discredit on their ordet there.
Edmund Yates-in the London World.
After an absence of several yean.
the buffaloes are returning to the plains
of North Texas again, and will likely
remain it protected from wanton de