Newspaper Page Text
Regularly on every Monday Morning
at Louisiana, Pike County. Mo.
g. F.MiiBRAY, Editor and Proprietor.
' Frt?n the Olirc Branch.
AN EiA-rr.MENT EXTRAORDINARY.
In these days of romance, fun and frol
ic, it is no matter of surprise that young
girls srs now and then guilty of sanction
ing, if not committing very foolish tilings, j
Jenny Richmond was one of those wilful
joL I SI If II Pi n if
"United We Stand Divided We Tall."
LOUISIANA, PIKE COUNTY, MISSOURI, MONDAY, APRIL 2G, 1817.
Little Miss Witfull, was wilful still. She
was not ready to return, and could not nn.
little misses, who conclude subjection 1osibly be tinder a month or so.
tlie powers that be" as little better than
downright slavery, and resolved at a very
unbecoming age, to decide for herself on all
Judge Richmond insisted, while Jane
continued unyielding. Things continued
in a rather unpleasant stale for several days
UNCERTAINTY OF THE LAW.
In a certain town in Normaudv, the au
thoritios, for divers reasons themunt uov-
jing, thought proper to issue a proclamation
toMie etleet that none of the worthy :i!ir,!i-
r. ,or,o,,ar. offor'l.n mm;cei-,., r . . , ... . i 11 - '-eu me very same
"iiatn-ij, ui iiihiniru ucr io pursue r.er own
?,r..l r i .1 l, r t , . ' 1
wiuui ireau, me rtsuiuoi wiucu someumes; course. This verv interesthiir vmnicr m,,
w a & ,
i i ....
questions of importance. As a matter of tiH, at len.U, as though wearv of o,n,s;l . I , T.L I'c,,a ' honhLslr
rotirse shecnioved fieoucnt onnortuniti.i'i 1 -i i ii- . . . aooiuauersunsei witiiout a lantern. We.
course, sue enjoy ca nequcni opportunities Is da-itVr, he ceased his entreaties, and ;;t,.l,.T,..,l ?. ......
.v ....... .v.wU "-"J aamu t-ieuing, a inai!
was seized and incontinently taken before
the dispenser of justice, to be dealt with
accnrdin; to the now lav.
'1 rm exceedingly sorry,' 'said the chief
officer, recognizing the individual, hnt a
citizen f your respectability and station
; should be the first to infringe cn the De
I would not willingly do so,' said the
'Have you not lead it?'
'Certainly,' said the captured party; 'but
who, by the v. ay bore the very aristocrat
ic cognomen of Stanley Mkham, continu
ed bis attentions despite of tho hints so
plentifully thrown out by the Judge. He
was sincerely attached to the young lady,
and believed she was to him, and he would
not abandon her fur forty fathers, unless she
demonstrated the axiom "two heads are
better than one, &c." Among ct;;rr fool
ish notions sbe cherished an unac .-.inside
intipathy against iter cousin FranL; that is,
it would have been unaccountable, had it
not been known that she once overheard
her parents discussing t!ic possibility of her
union with the aforesaid cousin when both so decided.
should attain a suitable age. As the case stood, it seemed impossible
Frank was a black-eyed, roguish-looking for the Judge to carry out his favorite
boy of about fifteen, when the unfortunate j scheme. The cousin must give plice to a
conversation occurred, and Jenny a wilful! stranger, despite a father's wish. Pisrour-
minx of twelve; so that parent planning! aged, eventually, Judge R. returned home, . ' , "''eur 0,'J
seemed rather premature in the estimation ! to reconcile, himself as best !m mlfrl.f !,-.!. .i n,aJ earn f v"h
of one of thcpaily. disappointment. The lovers sped well in' T,,i3ici!r R'iously complied, and af-
rom mat day J: rank dated a series ol;thcIr wooin-s. After the departure of her! . b ' ,ncr lt'c vtirU0!Sc- P"anv
may have unfortunately misunderstood it.
ill Monsieur oblige n c by reading it, that
.t I am nuiltvV
rigmarole verbiage; but when the officer
read the concluding words, 'that no inhab
itant should stir abroad after sunset with
out a lantern and a candle,' he started.
11a!' cried the informer, unable longer
to restrain his feelings.
How very, very fortunate,' ciicd the de
linquent; and quickly opening his lantern,
continued 'Lo! here is a candle. How
B;it it is not lighted." exclaimed the in-
formrr, with an uncontrollable agitation.
'It is not lighted, nor has it been, as the
wick itself proves!
'Lantern and candle! a lantern and a
candle!' repeated the man. 'I appeal to
the justice of Monsieur, that there was no
such word a.i lighted candle in any part of
thai respected document.'
Tins was a clincher. The parties were
completely outwitted; while to abate the
lever of the informer's extraordinary ex
citement, the man charitably repeated the
bleeding which he had so effectually per-
tornn ii on the former occasion. Of course,
S OF THE BANNER?
$2 in advance; $2 50 at the end of the volume
No man's paper will be discontinued junlcst the
.'ame be paid for up to the time of its discontinu
ance jS" JlDrERTISlMQ doneery lotc.J
All letters on business must be post paid.
minor persecutions, but poorly calculated father, and when the time for Jane's return' ' Ca'.n! t0 t!' Iu,'nt 'that no inhabitant; t!" lawyers lost no time in amending the
to concentrate his affections upon Jenny arrived, Stanley Markham accomnan;cd jshaI1 st!
Richmond; still he could not throw aside hcr to her father's house as her accepted !tcrn' w,,icI llC certainly delivered with cd ,)cforc t!'c vori candle,
entirely the cousinly interest, for ber re- siter and future h.ubaud. His dau-htcr0., Il,iar et"l'!,asis to tIiC admiration of the WOMAN
peated slights, when the fortunate occasion onCe m0re safe'y under his own "roof,! If tafcc" ,,e man emb"' fler Crarae'er Sphere In'ffuence and ,
occurred. Mr. Richmond, the father of Jude R. prohibited the attentions of the nJ S -patient to re- SlJS"
I i.... I... a . r .1 i J
Jane, and guardian ot 1 rank, observing a young gentleman, who bid sa far forgotten
growing coalnes between the cousins, deem- the rights of a father as to persist in them
ed a scpcration necessary, t rank was ac-wj,en he was fully acquainted with that
cormngiy cmerea at uartmoutn, wiuie me father's objections. Th- sovcrci-n will 0f
daughter found an asylum for the time be
ing at Mrs. 's fashionable Seminary.
Some three years passed in this manner
daring which the cousins never met. Jen
ny Richmond finished hcr course at the
Seminary, and graduated with about as
much honor as one of her peculiar tempe
rament Ultgtll Iiot L u cjtpccc to -niii.
At the expiration of Frank's college
woman was for once insuflicicnt, and stolen
interviews was their only resource. An
elopement was projected, with as great a
regard to secrecy as tsvo romantic "Oung
lovers could exercise. A very dark night
was chosen for their flight. Markham hav
ing arranged every thing so as to expedite
llielr dcj.'ul lut , itln.l lli. ItuunlcJjc uf
ccive his moiety cf the fine.
'I hare a lantern, Monsieur,' firmly con- Look around upon men in all the circum
tended tlie man, holding it up to view. stances and relations of life, and see bow
Yes, but there is iu.candle in it:' rrrdl- c!0:c,' their standings compare with the
. .. . . . ' i characters ot thir
cd the r.fiiccr, with a smile.
course, he asked and obtained leave to trav To disobey her parents was- so common an persisted tae quihtdcr. 'The words
el through the Southern States before bis affair with Jane, that the present decision! ere 'without a lantern' and here it is.'
wives. Have vou a
plfii: inpnn. micprlv tmlfrlilwt. h-Iia ...m.U
liio prociamalion dors not mention a,skin a flint," ten to one if his wife is not
canti.-r, I beheve, Monsieur, replied the smaller yet. Sec that spruce, industrious
cunning fellow, must respectfully. jJ'0,,n l-in, who, before marriage got along
A candle?-bui of course 'beean the' 'VrI,'and.W;aS aIcc,,,nlating capital
- ,r,rT, . ,, ... , , , , , i to start with. He marries a wife more lav-
inlormer, trc nonncr lest he should lose t ie i n. j i
. . . ... , , '"oiuu loac i.ie isj, than saving, and soon beromes poor,
fish he had hooked. jaj aigs along through life like a sleigh
'It does not msntion a on)!e. and I coii-i"pon bare uround. He docs his best, to no
tend, Monsieur, I ba e not infringed on the!'',lcc' All he can raise and scrape goes,
ever cntcrpriso I er husband espouses,
whereas her opposition is well nigh fatal.
If she fiet perpetually, he must be coir
callous case hardened to all influences
good anl bad; and this is an awful state of
mind or he must fret Latk, and become
permanerlly ill-natured; whereas if she is
inihl and pleasant, she will smoothe off the
harshest manner. Nor can we well meas-
ure the influences,' good, bad, exciting de-
pressing, which the wife exerts and much
exert perpetually over hcr husband.
tr dl Answered. A humorous fellow, a
carpenter, being summoned as a witness on
a trial for an assault, one of the counsel,
w.'io was much given to brow-beating the
witnesses, asked him what distance he was
standing from the parlies when lie saw the
defendant strike the plaintiff.
The carpenter replied, "just five feet
four inches and a half."
"Pray thee, fellow," said the counsel,
"how is it possible that you can be so ex
act as to the distance?"
"I thooght," said the carpenter, "that
some foolor other might ask me, so I mea
iiow and whence cannot be told.
But another 5-oun man, far less prosper
ous before marriage, is far more so after-
rctura to the family mansion, or engagement gave her no uneasiness whatever; but, toj iein. cried the osiicer, endeavoring toj wards. He has a smart, industrious, saving
in his professional studies. leave the home of her vctUi, to t irsake .conceal the confusion occasioned by his, wife, who is his ' butter half " in the mat-
It so happened that Jenny, now Miss those who had watched her from c!didhooJ,iU!l al I'.v paring over tae aforesaid copy!1' r 7 ana "ence . success-
Richmond, bad formed, among other plcas-
the acquaintance ot but a lew months, it -u i . nm io give you; Look Tliat dashing husband and
was a tria
tnt acquaintances, an especial friendship
for a young lady from Virginia, from whom
she received an invitation to spend the en-
Creeidncr softly to parlor she paused
ning winter. As ber will had been for before the portraits of her parents, although; alarniH, when the prisoner called to
manv vpt?:sthe onlv law she acknowledged, their mute faces were Dleadintr with her dis- ",s ,n!nJ a certain act w.'uch rendered bin:
it ren'iird no rrTeat power of persuasion obedience. Keside her own was that of O'10 albrsesaid informant) liable lo hcav
on her twrt. to induce hcr parents to con-her coufin Frank, taken about Hie time damages for false imprisonment, &c, and
seat to this arrangement, and Jenny left; she bad overheard the conversation of her' the poor fellow was fain to avert the inflic
home accompanied bv her father, who had'i.arei.ts in regard to her union with him. tl"11 of an action of the law, by disbiiri:i
reluctantly offered himself as an escort, if 1 7 his recalled all her former energy. She! a certain sum in hard cash to the accused.
she would persist in so soon leaving home, would not marry cousin Frank to please; ,J- " ll,c evening no tam cn-
She was old cnoii"!i to c!loose:cwunltt',1 "!S "ear acquairaance, ami to ins
v-ntild Hlf.ilitc deligiit, he beheld the same tiniilll-
Mr. Richmond had hoped to detain her, un-jany bod-. She w:
til Frank's return, while Jane was the more, for herself, and sh
anxious to be absent for that very rea
son. The beautiful Miss Richmond lost nolh-i
ing in the eyes of the world by being side
heiress to Judge Richmond's immense cs
tate, though we are loth to conclude ber
fortune was the chief attraction of the mul
titude who followed inTier train.
The winter passed off gaily, and, until
near its close, with nothing particularly a
larming to the piospects so long entertain
ed oy Judge Richmond in regard to his
daughter's union with her cousin.
So long as her heart was free, he had no
fear; but, from a letter to her mother, he
was eventually led to infer that 'a change
had come over the spirit of her dreams.'
She had met with a young gentleman, so
handsome, so agreeable, that her father
deemed it desirable she should return home,
before she made many discoveries of the
gentleman's attractions. A letter urging
her immediate return, was forwarded, but
like multitudes of other parental requests,
it was totally disregarded. She could not
return then, possibly ber friend would be
so much disappointed, and besides, she
was infinitely better contented than during
the first two weeks of her visit.
Fearing that hcr headstrong will should
lead her into irremediable folly, Judge Rich
mond decided to go for her without delay.
His arrival was perfectly unexpected
ad we are sorry to say not so welcome an
event to his daughter as mig'ut have been
j . . . . . ... w. till, vliu I uv. i ui no jn uc.
ursintancc of but a few months, it IS an omission, and I am happy to give youj Look aain. That dashincr
ial she had but little anticipated. nw; is dismissed, .lather in his coach and lour, was not a par-
i ne inioriner was not oniy defeated, but,1" many ambitious young man. ii ut lie
married, a spirited woman, who encouraged
him to launch out and make a show, both
in busTiiess and cquinafc. He did so, and
the result is he handles a great deal of mo
But he has failed. His wife was the pri
mary cause, lie bought, at licr instigation,
or in consequence of the spirit she through
him, more than he could pay for; and the
result is a failure.
How much the popularity or unnonulari-
ty of ministers depends on their wives, has
almost passed into a proverb. If Presbyte-
Kugni io examine ministers to See
whether they are sound in doctrine, much
more their wives to sec whether they are
lit to exert the riht influence over their
husbands directly, and through them over
it 1 1 a
u.eir pansnes. And a close scrutiny will
disclose the remarkable result that nine out
of ten of the causes which result in the dis
missal of ministers, originated primarily in
their wives, either directly or indirectly.
Literary men, who rise in their calling
must have "help meets" in those riJIing
in the person of their wives, bachelors
occasionally become distinguished, though
rarely never ouiiht to but only a few
ever rise above mediocrity A man with
out a wife is only half made; and hence re
quires a wife in harmon- with his calliii".
Of no class is this more true than of
moral leaders. Whoever would rise in the
temperance cause, or anjr other philantiiro
Making the best of hcr way through the minaied lai.tcrn m i::3 band; but an amend
g:rJen,slic gave no look behind, lest by !cd proclamation had been issued that morn
that one glance she should lose the courage inS wit!l t,1? words, 'that no inhabitant
the sight of her cousin's portrait had in- should stir without a lantern and a canJIt
spired. Stanley was in waiting with a car-' t'"'rr"1-
riage. Springing in, the door closed, audi The informer ehucklcd at the ignorance
the fugitives were soon beyond the reach of! lc man wlu had so coolly victimized
pin"-'t Arrived in a small village, rc-;him on the preceding night, and with a de
mote lr;M lhe observation of the great, sire to revenge, and with a certain pros
world, the marriage ceremony was perform-: t of t!iC rest;tlllion of t!ic mulct whic,,
cd by the village j;a.lor, and the way ward ,a j s gn Iitul;SSf
pair departed for New 1 ork. Ensconscd ' ' I '
A rather laughable affair occurred a few
days ago, in one of the Boston Hotels, show
ing the peculiar regard which some men
have to rank or title in office. Several mem
berg of the House of Representatives were
seated at the dining table, ( feeling rather
dignified, we -suppose,) when one of them
said. "Will the gentleman from Andover
please pass the butter this wy." Prettv
soon another spoke, "Will the gentleman
from Worcester please pass the salt this
way;" when one of our city warrs takinorthe
hint, turned round to the black waiter, and
said distinctly, "Will the gentleman from
j-virica piease io pass the bread this way."
Female Jljjpearcnces. We commend the
following to the notice of our female rea
ders, married or unmarried, more especi
ally to the matrons. It points a truthful,
as a general tiling, to be agreeable.
'I see friendship, love, common sense and
common honesty, sacrificed every hour, to
what is called politeness. I see women
every day, as they say, out of respect to
their husbands, tricked out 'with better
dress, with better looks, and better humor.
to receive strangers than to receive a hus
band, the rouges pursuading the good easy
fool, when they give other men a clean ta
ble cloth, and a better dinner, that they do
it out of respect for him.'
It is said that a pint of varnish, mixed with
a bucket of whitewash, will give it in a great
degiee, the qualities of paint and it will
s tand all kinds of weather.
nrW nuarters at the Ailot, Jane ad-! 1' .." luu,l""')wu:c
dressed her parents, informing tiiCM of hci jjusticc room,
safct', and the pleasure it would give l.i Ti 'Really, it is
to see them
To this letter Stanley appended a note.
Whatever it was, Jane did not see it. Its
effect was to bring the Judge to New York,
who, as he hastily entered the room of the
"Good enough for you, you ugly minx;
I might have known Frank would outwit
you in the end. I
A'glance of surprise was Jane's only an
swer, as she witnessed the cordial greeting
between hcr husband & father.
It was Frank, only cousin Frank, after
all, whom she bad run away with and mar
ried. Five years absence', together with a
huge pair of whiskers, had so completely
changed him, that Jane never suspected
him of being the cousin about whom she
had railed so unmercifully, and Judge Rich
mond, tho' he bad informed Frank of Jane's
contemplated visit to Virginia, never dream
ed that he would troublo himself lo look
The still wilful lady declares she will
never be caught in such a scrape again,
and wc sincerely hope she never will
i impossible to resist the amia-
Toast by Edward Hefferan, president of
the Bangor Catholic Total Abstinence Soci
ety: 'If heaven be pleased when mortals ceas to sin,
If hell be p!eo.sud when villains enter in,
-If earth be pleated when it entombs a knave,
All will be pleased when Rum is in his grave."
A Mrs. Boots, of Pennsylvania, has left
her husband and strayed away to parts un
known. The pair must have been rights
and h'fls; we will not say, that Mr boots is
right but there is no doubt that Mrs.
Hoots has Icjt. "Go it Boots" any how.
ThetlI)evi!" Tho word devil, said a
certain parson, is mean, any way you can
take it. Remove the d, and it is evil; re
move the e, and it is vile; remove the v, and
it is il; and then the I alone has the sound of
hell. Beware, then of the devil he is a
THE HAPPY GIRL Ah, she is a hap-
PV girl; we know by her fresh ivlr nd
buoyant spirits. Dav in and day out, she
has something to do, and she takes hold of
worn as if she did not fear to dirty her
Hands or spoil ber apron Such girls we
love and respect, wherever we meet them,
in a pidjce or a hovel. Always pleasant'
and always kind, they never turn up their
no.sts before your face or slander you behind
your back. They have more good sense
pic cause, must have a wife whose soulj,'"u ei-er employment- mini are niris
beats in unison with bis; who will cheer janJ ""stle-bouud girls to these Good for
him under discourarements, Fustuin l;i!",tbing but to look at, and that is rather
iisgusiini;. wive us me inuusiiious ana
bio importunities of a gentleman who pays
sucii delicate compliments and such good
coin!' replied the man; and away he walk
ed, chatting good humored!, and joking
with liis delighted captor
f Imnn ATnrwinii, will At tlif linnnr tr
... iilairaiiiir spirits, excite bis hones, direct In dis;usliiig.
remember mat my former appearance was;, . , . , , v. - , ;r anJ wc care not wh WOrshinB
not only against my inclination, but against
the law,' said tho prisoner.
'Really, the proceedings arc very vexa
tious, and '
'Have you read the proclamation;" inter
rupted the officer.
'Monsieur did me the favor to read it on
ly last night.'
'I will read it again for your edification,'
replied the officer, and he looked furtively
at the informer, who could scarcely con
tain himself for very joy.
Tho amended proclamation was read.
The. accused stood placidly smiling at tho
cause in hand. As well tie lead to the win,rSta-'i"wnabIc and idle simpletons.
of an eagle and expect him to soar, as ex
pect a man, however splendid his natural
and acquired capabilities, to soar while an
opposing wife hangs like a millstone around
his neck. But for his uncongenial wife,
who has opposed his cause from first to last,
where would Sylvester Graham have now
been? or rather, where, if .she had helped
forward his cause as effectually as sho has
hindered it? I honestly declare, that if my
wife were opposed to my science, and those
reform views it embodies, much as 1 love
them both, I might as well give up and die
voluntarily as by compulsion. The co-op-ciation
of a wile is success and life towhat-
Do not believe, because a man smiles
upon and seeks your society, -hat he Is your
friend. Smiles and professions, alas are
so abuudi'-nt as to be of no value. He on
ly is your friend whose heart is in bis words,
and whose actions illustrate them; who
stands by you through all the vicissitudes of
fortune, "in sunshine and shade." When
you find such a being make him your second
2U"Viiu-gnr boiled with myrrh, or cam
phor sprinkled in a room, corrects putriil-