UNIVERSITY MISSOURIAN, TUESDAY,- NOVEMBER 24; 1908.
QUAINT NEGRO STORIES
TOLD BY POLK MILLER
Take your Watch and Jewelry
there's Quality in Our Work
,." i"iiV Mf hS av?
J. G. WILLIAMS
BARBER SHOP Baths
How the Old Black "Mammy," After Prayerful
Consideration, Decided to Address BooKer
T. Washington The Wild Turkey.
CANDIES MADE FKESH
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Sent Free Upon Request
Contains a thousand Christmas
Gift suggestions in Silver, Gold,
Glass, Novelties highest grades
reasonable prices. Send today.
We give the students cordial
invitation to our store.
Jaccard Jewelry Co.
1017-1019 Walnut St.
g Athletic Goods arc
S standard for all games
mark , The Best and Lowest
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R. J. LEACOCK SPORTING GOODS CO.
808-810 PINE ST., ST. LOUIS
OLK MILLER in his lecture here
recently told many stories of the
Southern negro. Here are some of
"At one time I had a negro boy who
was the joyous inheritor of my old
clothes. I had a pair of beautiful light
gray checked trousers which he admired
particularly. One day I sat down on
some axle grease and was forced to call
Sam to my aid. lie kept the trousers
for a couple of days and finally re
turned with a long face.
"Well, Sam," said I "How did you
"I jus cudn't do nothin' with 'em," he
replied, shaking his curly head sadly.
"Did you try benzine?" I queried.
"Yas, sah, I done tried benzine."
"Did you try turpentine?"
"Yas, sah, I done tried turps."
"I've heard that blotting paper and a
hot iron was good. Did you try that?
"Yas, sah, I done try blottin' papah,
"Did you try ammonia?"
The negro's eyes lit up with hope.
"Xo, sah, I ain't tried 'cm on me, but
ah knows they fits," he replied.
person I bade good-by
marched off to fight for
the South was my old colored
"mammy." The tears were streaming
down her cheeks and her poor old eyes
were red with weeping.
"Good-by, honey, God bress yer," she
said. "Ef those Yankees git to shootin'
at yuh, jes drap dat gun an' run right
home to yuh ol Mammy."
Being assured that it was, he an
nounced that it would' do. When we
reached the storeroom we found a glass
of cherry bounce already poured out.
Uncle Ned's eyes lit up with joy.
"Ah reckon missus done feel that
ah'd hare a misery an' poured it out
ready for me," he said.
He drank the dram and a contented
look spread over his dark face.
"Dat cherry bounce surely do chase
away the misery." Said he.
When my wife came home she missed
the glass and inquired if I had been in
the storeroom. I told her about giving
Uncle his dram.
"Why," said, she "that glass was
drugged for a thief who has been get
tin'; into our storeroom. It had a tea-
spoonful of ipecac in it."
Undo Ned 'came around the next
morning. His black face was pale and
he looked about as sick, as I ever saw
"Marse Polk, what you call that
stuff you give me last night?" "Why,
that was a cherry bounce."
"Cherry bounce surely am a good
name for it. When ah drink it, it taste
mighty good but when it git in my dis-
jestion it bounce."
N old darky was taking his first
taste of appoilinaris water.
"How do you like it," I asked?
His face took on a queer expression.
"Ah don't know 'bout this polly narus
water," he replied. "It taste just like
mah foot feel when it am asleep."
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E bought a young frisky horse
one day which was so wild that
we couldn't do anything with
him. At last a negro boy who had been a
jockey offered to break him. Father
offered him a dollar for every minute
he could keep on him. The horse threw
him the first thing but he landed on his
upper lip and forehead, thus escaping
uninjured. He mounted again and the
horse flew off like a bird through the
meadow. The negro told this story of
the ride when he returned:
"Dat ho's tuck me a flyin' down the
pike five miles to town an' then turned
around an come atearing back, me a
holdin' .onto his neck for dear life.
When we got back I fell off the brute
an axed marse now mucn money ne
owed me. He took out his watch and
says dat I'd just been gone one minute.
One dav I bought a turkey from a
darkey with the assurance that it was
not wild. While we were eating it we
found a measure of shot in it. I col
lected the shot, thinking that I had
caught the darkey red-handed in a lie.
The next day I met him on the street
and presented the evidence.
"Law'd no, that warn't a wild tur
key. Dat shot were intended for me,"
DON'T it make you
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wonderment at the
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NE night when my wife was out
for the evening, Uncle Ned, an
old negro preacher, came to the
house and, complained of a "misery" in
his back. "Can't you ghe me a dram
for it, Marse Polk" he asked.
"My wife isn't here but will go down
to the storeroom and see what we can
find," said I:
"We haven't any rum; will cherry
bounce do?" I continued.
"Is dat good for misery in de chist."
OOKER T. WASHINGTON was
coming to a little town in the
south and an old negro mammy
was wondering how she should address
"Ah can't call him 'Booker.' Ah
don't know him well enough. Ah can't
call him mistah cause dat's a white
man's name. Ah reckon Ah'll have to
call liim professor."
EL BIG CLOTHIER
Home of Manhattan Shirts and Stetson Hats
FTER the war father kept
old darkey whose duty it was
to water the horses at noon every
day. Many times he forgot his task
and after reminding him time and
again father told him that they would
have to part.
"Ali'm awful sorry dat we mus' part
after all desc years together," said
the old man. "We've lied here on dis
plantation togedder all our lives but as
you say so, we mus part. Where yer
goin,' Marse Miller?"
I 156 TO 5
Successful Season is Ended,
and "Dopesters" Look for
The University Missourian telephone
numbers are: department office, 377;
news room, 274; business office, 714.
I sell them cheaper than you
can buy them elsewhere
F. A. HENNINGER
South 6th St.
Solicits your Baggage, Bus,
Cab and Trunk Business
For Facial Mataage, Scalp Treat
ntent. Manicuring, Shampooing,
Electrical Dryer uied. tea
Room 403 Exchange Bank Bldg.
ItTA T Tl !-- 1
f. ja uu. iXfOkut rs.
ft taners. teni.rrsTi r.
V Vi t.irt r.( tnnnlr- tic I
nsTi : - , a. " -:"!'
I .f I I m Yi'mitflM - li r. mi -
er-.. Within tri Uos-is of tno 5'tto Uulinj-.
LaeicrfU-dlacuIir. Tiiomiitncoumi. (Tw'Jmt
"injcj.-ai. iiTKESTH tAi.. SikDilid linn-?
-Tp-t3nHo r N jianJr.-Utonorkthelrway,
eo.u ISer.sIojM'ivs , Colnml i,i,Jo.
Assistant Coach Receives
High Praise at the
(Continued from First Page.)
cuiPtco smmiik quartib sat
They neither shrink, scratch, ,
saw nor stretch S
U Cento-: toiii Cents Ml
Cluett, Peabodr i Co., Troy. N. T.
WE SOLICIT YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT
COURTEOUS CONSIDERATION TO ALL
W. T. CONLEY. President.
C. B. DORSEY. Vic-Frsidnt
IDA T. C. STONE. C.hl.r
ALLEN PARK. Aas't CaahUr
clared that much of the credit for the
ictory over the Iowa team was due
"Xo one could have listened to that
speech he made to us between halves
and then failed to go in and win," he
Embodiment of College Spirit.
W. F. Woodruff spoke for the stu
dent body. He said "Izzy" was an ex
ponent of the "square deal."
"Izzy's" life," he declared, "was an
ideal embodiment of college spirit in
its unselfishness and loyal devotion to
the best interests of the school, ath
letic and otherwise.
In conclusion. Mr. WmvlnifT ni?.,i
for nine 'rahs for "Izzy." They were
given in full-throated volume.
ur. iini m conclusion said that as
"Izzy" was going to Kansas City, the
logical thing to do would be tomove
the last two years of the medical
course there after him.
izzy was in the audience. He was
visibly moved by the tributes paid him.
Dr. Hill said he would not subject him
to the embarrassment of making a
The meeting closed with" the singing
of "Old Missouri."
The Freshman team has just finished
a successful season. It scored 15G
points while its opponents made only
5. Of the Freshman squad, the fol
lowing made their numerals:
Long and Miller (L. E.), Doyle (L.
fi.), Fausek (L. T.), Condie (C),
Thompson and Bressler (R. G.), Elmer
Anderson (R. T.), kysscll (R. H.), Lo
gan (F. B.), Pixlee (L. E.), Edgar An
derson (L. T.), Hackney, capt. (L. H.),
Hall (H.), and Roberts and Xowell
Coach Lowman worked faithfully
. .:!. i. i in ...
jwi me Irani ami aiiuougii tne men
were lighter than the Freshman teams
hitherto he trained them to team work
which made up for this loss. Hack
ney was easily the star player. He
came here with a football training from
springheld High School and Drury
College. He excels in kicks and for
Doyle did fine line work and is good
'Varsity material. Elmer Anderson can
step in and take "Easy's" place next
year, while Edgar Anderson is an ag
gressive player worth watching.
Roberts for his generalship, and Xow
ell for his punting will also be valu
able. Fausek developed fighting spirit
as the season progressed and with his
weight and a little more initiative
should make good 'Varsity material.
Coach Lowman says that the work
of the team has been satisfactory.
This is the first year that the Fresh
men have had a special coach. The
Tigers look to the Freshman team as
the source of defendpr fnr tha "OM
Gold and Black."
Of the 18 men on the ail-American
squad the following. 13 are Freshmen
iong, .Miner, Uoyle (capt.), Fausek,
Elmer Anderson, Pixlee, Edgar Ander
son, Eyssell, Hackney, Hall, Roberts,
Xowell and Dexter.
The scores of the class games are:
i ic-iiiufii h, seniors o.
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IN TODAY AND OUT TOMORROW
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