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University Missourian. (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, September 18, 1909, Image 2

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn89066313/1909-09-18/ed-1/seq-2/

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UNIVERSITY MISSOURIAN
An evening daily students in the School oj
Journalism nt ihr University of Missouri
J B Powell Managing Editor
JoSEr H E CHASSOFr Advertising Manager
UNIVKRMTY MlsSHUISIAN ASSOCIATION
Inc
Harry E Ridings President
Gordon Fisher Secretary
HrRMAV M Hiielke Treasurer
J B Powell F V Cooke
E R CHILDERS R F IEfiGETT
J F Williams C A Harvey
Office M issour
i io Uroadwav
ax H u i l i i x
Telephone 55
Kntcrcd at the post lice at Columbia Mo
mail rnitter
SUHsCKirTION liivnrlnhly in Advance
Ity Mail r Carrier
School Yt iir gtiOl iiiiKtr 1S
SiiiKl Cojiif Tin CiMit
Ailrcrti inl
Unlet Application
Address all communications to
INIVEKnITY MlNSOlRIAN
Columbia
THE UNIVERSITY MISSOURIAN
Tim University Missourian appears
this year owned and edited by students
of the School of Journalism of the Uni
Tcrsity of Missouri No part of any ap
propriation made to the University is
used directly or indirectly for its sup
port It is to he maintained entirely
by receipts from advertising and sub
scription Its editorial and news policy
is determined by the student board se
lected by the students of the School of
Journalism The names of the board re
sponsible for the production of the Uni
versity Misourian appear at the head
of fhi column
The School of Journalism has passed
the experimental stage and the Univer
sity Missourian will give this year prac
tical demonstration of the Schools suc
cess As a newspaper it will give the
news truthfully graphically and fear
lessly It will seek to aid the entire
University by adequate helpful ex
ploitation It will welcome co operation
with student journals student organiza
tions and every agency that seeks the
best interests of the University of Mis
souri It will hold up the hands of
tho e in authority who plan for a
greater University and labor to bring
their plans to realization In a word
the University Missourian will serve the
University of Missouri as the University
of Missouri serves the state
Al though the University of Missouri
with its 3000 students and teachers is
Columbias biggest industry the busi
ness activities of Columbia are also im
portant Likewise are Columbias rail
roads factories and other economic ac
tivities The University Missourian is
unique in that it covers all of these
fields Every person who lives in Co
lumbia is interested in the States lead
ing educational institution the Univer
sity of Missouri Every student or
teacher at the University of Missouri
is interested in Columbia Columbia is
the home of the student for at least four
years and of the professor for a much
longer time The citizens of Columbia
are in a certain measure the guardians
of the youth of the state They fur
nish him with sustenance and shelter
while he is here and in return the stu
dent pays the money he or his parents
Accumulated for his education The
University Missourian stands for a
greater Columbia and a greater Univer
sity of Missouri and for a better under
standing between them
A news item shows the amount of
money spent by students in Columbia
each year Four hundred dollars is a
conservative estimate of the amount
each student in the University spends
in Columbia annually The greater part
of this goes for board and clothing
Next comes rent student supplies
amusements and incidentals The to
tal amount spent by the 3000 students
in the University amounts to a great
deal more than a million dollars annual
ly This docs not include university
maintenance and salaries of faculty
members The total amount represents
an enormous amount of business
The old agricultural building now oc
cupied by the School of Journalism is
the oldest building on the campus and
the fir t to be named
The campus the old columns and the
vine clad buildings wear the September
smile as well as the landladies
Proverbs of a Neighborhood
One touch of envy makes a whole
street kin
It takes all kinds of people to make a
suburb
Knowledge comes but culture lingers
Affluence isnt having more than your
needs its having more than your
neighbors
Alice Van Leer Carrick in Smart Set
UNIVERSITY MISSOURIAN SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 18 1909
THE
SEVENTH COLUMN
Tommys Monoplane
Tommy OShane
Bought a monoplane
Of wondrous foreign make
Tommys hand
Above the land
Rested calmly on the brake
Gracefully floating
Just like boating
Seemed this aero game
Tommy avowed
Piercing a cloud
Hed win himself a name
Hut alack
An awful crack
Heralded the rudders snap
Tommy descended
Mother earth apprehended
Tommys remains with a whack
Terrible wreck
A busted neck
Preparations for a wake
Where understand
Twas the preachers hand
That rested on the break
Can I get board here timidly asked
the freshman who was stumbling about
Columbia in the dark
Certainly snapped the landlady
Mr Sapnoodle is entertaining my
daughter in the parlor Walk right in
II IL
Smith Girls Getting Back
NORTHAMPTON Mass A deserted
village springing into life and becoming
populated again that is Northampton
just at present and that is what North
ampton will be for the rest of this
month until Smith College and the nu
merous other institutions of learning
here are in full swing for the scholastic
year
Northamptons population now about
nineteen thousand will be three thou
sand greater by the end of the month
and most of the increase will have been
caused by the coming of upwards of two
thousand young women students
This week there have been a few of
the signs of returning life all on the
very practical side Maids employed in
the houses of Smith College the Capen
School the IVurnham School and the
Clarke School for the Deaf have been
returning from the mountains the sea
shore and the other places where they
have been employed during the summer
They form a distinct body by them
selves distinct from the other servants
of the city For three weeks they will
be engaged getting their part of the
years work under way
Later the cooks will come the aris
tocrats of the servant population the
women about whom Smith girls compare
notes when the respective merits of the
college boarding houses are compared
Boston Herald
Secret of a Long Life
You sometimes see a woman whose
old age is as exquisite as was the per
fect bloom of her youth You wonder
how thi shas come about You wonder
how it is her life has been a long and
happy one Here are some of the rea
sons
She knew how to forget disagreeable
things
She kept her nerves well in hand
and inflicted them on no one
She mastered the art of saying pleas
ant things
She did not expect too much from her
friends
She made whatever work came to her
congenial
She retained her illusions and did
not believe all the world wicked and
unkind
She relieved the miserable and sym
pathized with the sorrowful
She never forgot than kind words
and a smile cost nothing but are price
less treasures to the discouraged
She did unto others as she would be
done by and now that old age has come
to her and there is a halo of white hair
about her head she is loved and con
sidered This is the secret of a long
life and a happy one Interstate
Teacher
To Regulate Opium Smokers
A quaint touch of Oriental ingenuity
io harass the persistent users of opium
has been invented by the superintendent
of police at Canton says the Lancets
correspondent in China This official
has issued 20000 wooden licenses ten
inches long by eight inches broad and
three fifths of an inch thick On the
front of these boards are characters
giving the smokers name and address
and the quantity allowed him per diem
and on the back are the opium regula
tions The licenses are not allowed to
cover their boards when going to buy
opium but must wear them conspicu
ously so that all may see them Next
year these wooden licenses are to be
two feet long by one and a half broad
and three fifths of an inch thick
Invite us on the Occasion
A medical paper claims that a den
tists fingers carry disease germs Mor
al Boil your dentist Boston Trans
cript
FRAT INITIATIONS
From an article in the Saturday Even
ing Post by George Fitch
Were you ever Ilamburgered by a
real live college fraternity I mean
were you ever initiated into full brother
hood by a Greek letter society with the
aid of a baseball bat a sausage making
machine a stick of dynamite and a corn
shellcr Whats that You say you be
long to the Up-to-Date Woodchoppers
Forget it Those arent initiations
They are rest cures I went into one of
thoc societies which give horse play in
itiations for middle aged daredevils last
year and was bored to death because 1
forgot to bring my knitting They are
bad enough for fat business men who
never do anything more exciting than to
fall over the lawn mower in the cellar
once a year but compared with a gen
uine eighteen-donkey-power college frat
initiation with a Spanish Inquisition at
tachment the little degree teams made
tip of grandfather feel like a slap on
the wrist delivered by a young lady in
frail health
Mind you Im not talking about the
baby ribbon affairs that the college boys
use nowadays It doesnt seem to be the
fashion to grease the landscape with
freshmen any more Initiations are get
ting to be as safe and sane as an ice
cream festival in a village church When
a frat wants to submit a neophyte to
a trying ordeal it sends him out on the
campus to climb a tree or makes him go
to a dance in evening clothes with a red
necktie on A boy who can roll a pea
nut half a mile with a tooth pick or
can fish all morning in a pail of water
in front of the college chapel without
getting mad and trying to thrash any
one is considered to be lion hearted
enough to ornament any frat These are
mollycoddle times in all departments
Im glad Im out of college and am
catching street cars in the rush hours
That is about the only job left that feels
like the good old times in college when
muscle were made to jar some one else
with
Eight or ten years ago when a col
lege fraternity absorbed a freshman the
job was worth talking about There
was no half way business about it The
freshman could tell at any stage of the
game that something was being done to
him They just ate him alive that was
all Why at Siwash where I was lap
welded into the Eta Bita Pies any fra
ternity which initiated a candidate and
left enough of him to appear in chapel
the next morning was the joke of the
school Even the girls fraternities gave
it the laugh The girls used to do a
little quiet initiating themselves and
when they received a sister into mem
bership you could generally follow her
mad career over the town by a trail of
hairpins rats and little fragments of
dressgoods
Those were the days when the pledg
ing of a good high pressure frat wrote
to his mother the night before he was
taken in and telegraphed her when he
found himself alive in the morning
There used to be considerable rivalry
between the frats at Siwash in the mat
ter of giving a freshman a good hos
pitable time I remember when the
Sigh Whoopsilons hung young Allen
from the girder of an overhead railroad
crossing and let the switch engines
smoke him up for two hours as they
passed underneath there was a good
deal of jealousy among the rest of us
who hadnt thought of it The Alfalfa
Delts went them one better by tying
roller skates to the shoulders and hips
of a big freshman football star and
hauling him through the main streets of
Jonesville on his back behind an auto
mobile several miles above the speed
limit and the Chi Yis covered a can
didate with plaster of Paris with blow
holes for his nose sculptured him artis
tically and left him before the college
chapel on a pedestal all night The
Helta Kappa Sonofaguns set fire to their
house once by shooting Roman candles
at a row of neophytes in the cellar
and we had to turn out at one a m
one winter morning to help the Delta
Flushes dig a freshman out of their
chimney They had been trying to let
him down into the fireplace and when
he got stuck they had poked at him with
a clothes pole until they had mussed
him up considerably This just shows
you what a gay life the young scholar
led in the days when every ritual had
claws on and there was no such thing
as soothing syrup in the equipment of
a college
Of all the frats at Siwash the Eta
Bita Pies when I was in college were
pre eminent in the art of near killing
freshmen We used to call our initiation
A little journey to the pearly gates
and once or twice it looked for a short
careless and something that wasnt ex
pected doesnt happen as did the night
we tied Tudor Snyder to the south
track while an express went by on the
north track and then had the time of our
young lives getting him off ahead of a
wild freight which we hadnt counted on
All we ever aimed at was to make the
initiate so thankful to get through alive
that he would love Eta Bita Pie forever
and I must say we usually succeeded
and have taken the josh degree in the j It is wonderful what a young fellow will
Noble Order of Prong Horned Wapiti i endure cheerfully for the sake of pass-
time as if the victim had mislaid his
return ticket Treat yourself to an elec
tion riot a railway collision and a sub
way explosion all in one evening and
you will get a rather sketchy idea of
what we aimed at I dont mean of
course that we ever killed any one
There is no real danger in an initiation
you know if the initiate does exactly
as he is told and the members dont get
ing it on to some one else the next year
I remember I was pretty mad when Eta
Bita Pie headed me up in a barrel and
rolled me downhill into a creek without
taking the trouble to remove all the
nails It seemed like wanton careless
ness But long before my nose was out
of splints and my hide would hold water
I was perfecting our famous Lovers
Leap for the next years bunch That
was our greatest triumph There was
an abandoned rock quarry north of town
with thirty feet of water in the bottom
and a fifty foot drop to the water By
means of a long beam and a system of
pulleys we could make a freshman walk
the plank and drop off into the water in
almost perfect safety providing the
ropes didnt break It created a sensa
tion and the other frats were mad with
jealousy We took every man we want
ed the next fall before the authorities
put a stop to the scheme That shows
you just how repugnant the idea of be
ing initiated is to the green young col
legian
Of course fraternity initiations are
supposed to be conducted for the amuse
ment of the chapter and not of the can
didate But you cant always entirely
tell what will happen especially if the
victim is husky and unimpressionable
Sometimes tie does a little initiating
himself
How Did You Die
Did you tackle the trouble that came
your way
With a resolute heart and cheerful
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful
Oh a troubles a ton or a troubles an
ounce
Or a trouble is what you make it
And it isnt the fact that youre hurt
that counts
But only how you take it
You are bitten to earth
Well well whats that
Come up with a smiling face
Its nothing against you to fall down
flat
But to lie there thats disgrace
The harder youre thrown why the
higher you bounce
Be proud of your blackened eye
It is not the fact that youre licked
that counts
Its how did you fight and why
And though you be done to the death
what then
If you battled the best you could
if you played your part in the world of
men
Why the critic will call it good
Death comes with a crawl or comes
with a pounce
And whether hes slow or spry
It isnt the fact that youre dead that
counts
But only how did you die
Edward Vance Cook
The Supreme Gift
Man has no wings and yet he can
soar above the clouds he is not swift
of foot and yet he can outspeed the
fleetest hound or horse he has but fee
ble weapons in his organization and yet
he can slay or master all the great
beasts his eye is not so sharp as that
of the eagle or the vulture and yet he
can see into the farthest depths of
sidereal space he has only very feeble
occult powers of communication with his
fellows and yet he can talk around the
world and send his voice across moun
tains and deserts his hands are weak
things beside a lions paw or an ele
phants trunk and yet he can move
mountains and stay rivers and set
bounds to the wildest seas His dog can
out smell him and outrun him and out
bite him and yet his dog looks up to
him as to a god He has erring reason
in place of unerring instinct and yet
he has changed the face of the planet
Without the specialization of the lower
animals their wonderful adaptation to
particular ends their tools their weap
ons their strength their speed man yet
makes them all his servants His brain
is more than a match for all the special
advantages nature has given them The
one gift of reason makes him supreme
in the world John Burroughs in Atlan
tic
Scale of Values
He forgets that he owes me his life
Thats nothing he even forgets that
he owes me five dollars Puck
Whats Watts
The Major Watts wifes a Suffra
gette
The Colonel Whats Watts
A Bufferer Smart Set
A MERCHANT
ON NEWSPAPERS
In his talk at the sales managers
anquct Mr Elias Michael criticised the
newspapers for publishing on their front
pagea hot wheather news and scandal
instead of information about St Louis
excellent schools and park system This
is hardly fair in view of the pages pub
lished recently about the heroic achieve
ment of Dr Cook and its scientific value
or the pages about progress of aerial
navigation But let that pass
Mr Michael is a successful wholesale
merchant His success has been gain
ed by selling goods that the people
want He knows that Bibles sermons
instructive books addresses on the ad
vantages to society of sobriety unsel
fishness civic pride and good mottoes for
the home would be better for his cus
tomers than coal scuttle hats laces
fancy combs jewelry gewgaws open
work silk stockings and peekaboo
waists Yet instead of offering his
customers Bibles and mottoes and in
formation about municipal progress and
insisting that they buy them he offers
them hats laces silks and gewgaws He
even pushes these things and creates a
demand for them He exhibits them to
prospective buyers The retail mer
chants who buy from him put them in
their show windows They cater to hu
man vanity The merchant sells the
people what they want not what he
thinks they ought to have
The newspapers print a great deal
about the schools the parks social sci
entific educational and municipal pro
gress They print all the news about
these things and even push them They
print sermons and essays But they can
not print nothing else The must meet
the public demand for all the news even
the news about the evil that men do
The public wants the news and the
newspapers must give it what it wants
or cease to publish It must fill its
front page its show window with at
tractive news wares Mr Michael would
soon stop buying a newspaper that gave
him essays instead of news And he
would be right It wouldnt be a news
paper it wouldnt fulfill its function
and mission
However in behalf of the newspapers
we will offer Mr Michael a compact
When he and his fellow merchants sell
only Bibles and mottoes the newspapers
will print nothing but sermons and es
says St Louis Post Dispatch
Twelve Business Maxims
The president of the London Cham
ber of Commerce gives these twelve
maxims which he has tested through
years of business experience and which
he recommends as tending to insure
success
1 Have a definite aim
2 Go straight for it
3
4
Master all details
Always know more than you are
expected to know
5 Remember that difficulties are
only made to be overcome
0 Treat failure as stepping stones
to further effort
7 Never put your hand out further
than you can draw it back
8 At times be bold always be pru
dent
9 The minority often beats the ma
jority in the end
10 Listen well answer cautiously
decide promptly
12 Preserve by all means in your
power a sound mind in a sound body
Knocks by the Broadway Knocker
The self possessed burglar takes
things quietly
Hunger is a necessary evil it pro
motes industry
People who talk too much receive lit
tle attention
Some men are too lazy to complain
if they cant find work
A talkative man seldom selects his
wife for his audience
When in doubt take a day off and
mind your own business
Some people measure the world by the
size of their back yards
You may be able to fool yourself but
you cant fool the fool killer
More spinters might marry if other
women didnt marry so often
A man always expects his wife to be
a lot better than he could posibly be
New York Morning Telegraph
Ancient Concrete Buildings
Concrete itself is very old The con
crete stairs of Colchester and Rochester
castles will show the marks of the incas
ing boards the dome of Agrippas Pan
theon which is 142 feet in diameter is
of concrete and fragments of concrete
buildings are found in Mexico and Peru
Limited Facilities
What makes you so sure Shakes
peare was not an educated man
Well answered the iconoclast for
one thing he never had an opportunity
to read the voluminous annotations of
his own works Washington Evening
Star
Stopped Anyway
Boozer has stopped drinking
Well that is to his credit
No to his lack of credit Boston
Transcript
CLASSIFIED ADS
Rates for advertisements under this head are as
follows
3 lines or less 1 time 10c
5 lines 1 time 15c
3 lines 3 times 25c
5 lines 3 times 35c
Kvcry evening for one
week per lint lic
Count six average words to the line
Want ads should be left at either the Missouri
Store The Drug Shop The Missourian office or
Box n Academic Hjll
All zvant ads casli in advance
WANTED To rent a typewriter Oli
ver or Underwood preferred Call at
Missourian office
FOR RENT Nicely furnished rooms in
suites for light house keeping Ap
ply 202 Ilitt street
ROOMS Two rooms in new house Just
off campus 9 to 11 a month Mrs
B F Mode 515 S 0th
ROOMS A good room on third floor to
rent for S a month Mrs W W
Mitchell C15 South 5th street
ROOMS FOR RENT Seven rooms one
block from South steps of Academic
Hall J L Burks 607 Maryland
ROOM One front room two blocks
from campus Will rent for 510
Miss Lena Hobercht 400 S 5th street
ROOMS for twenty two students board
for thirty Rooms 9 to 12 Board
350 a week Chas Wheat 817 Rol
lins
WANTED A good second hand bicycle
is wanted at the University Missou
rian oflice on Broadway near Hitt
street
ROOMS Seven rooms with board
Prices 125 to 150 a week for
rooms 375 for board Mrs D C Pool
415 South Cth street
ROOMS Six excellent rooms less than
block from campus Will rent at 11
and 1250 Apply to Mrs Sarah B
Talley 005 Sanford street
ROOMS Rooms for seven students S
and 10 a month One block west of
the campus Apply to Mrs J M Mc
Ghee 500 S Fifth street
ROOMS Two rooms for women stu
dents Overlooking Rollins Field
Prices 9 to 12 a month Apply to
Mrs F II Austin 807 Rollins
ROOMS Four rooms to rent at 10 and
12 a month Also board for six stu
dents One block south of campus Miss
Willa Bryant 006 Sanford street
ROOM A room suitable for two stu
dents at 12 a month Modern con
veniences Two blocks from the cam
pus K A McVey 511 Turner avenue
ROOMS Eight rooms to rent for 5 and
G apiece per student Board at
425 a week North side of campus
Apply to Mrs T II Sims 211 S 7th
street
ROOMS Seven rooms new house
Prices 10 to 12 a month One block
from campus Also close down town
Mrs W W Wright 307 South 5th
street
ROOMS Rooms for five students and
board for twelve Price rooms 10 a
month board 4 a week Apply to
Mrs F S Lonsdale 510 South Fifth
street
ROOMS Six rooms all new furnishings
modern conveniences Prices 10 to
14 per room One half block from
campus Mrs L M George 201 South
0th street
FOR RENT Completely furnished five
room cottage one block from Univer
sity suitable for family or for young
ladies with chaperone Applv 202 S
9 th St
BOARD AND ROOMS Board for 15
men students and rooms for 4 stu
dents Prices Board 350 room 10
J D Winn 803 Elm street On north
side of campus
ROOMS Three rooms for rent one
block and half from campus One at
12 two at 10 a month also board at
375 Apply to A G Archibald 511
Turner avenue
ROOMS One suite suitable for four
women students also two double
rooms Rent for 10 to 12 a month
Apply to Mrs J H Hill 411 South 6th
street Board next door
WANTED Is there at the University
a clean cut energetic high tone stu
dent who has an ambition to do some
thing practical while taking his course
here in one of the most helpful profes
sions known namely life insurance in
one of the oldest and best companies in
America writing absolutely the best life
insurance policies If there are any
such and we believe there are write to
Darby and Black St Louis Missouri
general agents Mutual Benefit Life In
surance Co or consult Mr D T Gentry
District Agent 302 N 9th Street Co
lumbia
The University Missourian daily 2 a
year

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