Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1756-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
Image provided by: State Historical Society of Missouri; Columbia, MO
Newspaper Page Text
; Homecoming Edition THE COLUMBIA EVENING MISSOURIAN Pcerade Xtr SOME SOCIETT Theta No Epsllon en s' f rttloed with a pink " tea on the Stephens College campus after tie mats meeting last tight. Nitroglycerin vis used to spike the punch. All of the old members who are back for the Ilomeconilng nude drunken speech es. The Dago Jamma Sarorlty entertained last Sunday evening " with a clam bake for the members of the '' Hippi Rappa Slam ma r fraternity at Rollins r Spring. I Only gold-tipped. f monogramed cigarettes are In voane at the Tie Bottt Fll sorority H is rumored. Flans are being madt for a dance In Eptdem lc Xlall after the game today. There will N aa orchestra on eacli of the floors, and t raard over the lockec" aoer to erery cls room has been posted, so that no one may bt lost In the -shuffle The marriage of ill TUw Wahdmaare If t be announced soon The name of th broom has not been cWrn out. It Is sale ke was chosen bj nuch the name man r In which the ath lrtlc department allot tea tlckeM to tb game today. Leslie Clown an aounced today that construction on tw dozen Jounces for ns hy the corridor cootie hi Epedemle Ilall hart began. It Is hoped these may be readv soon In order to aid the cigarette-holders to uphold their mighty worry of getting to (Mr hourly dates. Lights hare already been done away with. The Thl Mats will lure another tea Sun j. -.AA., ATI UIJ liLTIUWUi 11 Tltltors are Invited toM extend dinner invita tions Immediately fol lowing. The county recorder has been Instrumental in the organisation of a sew fraternity, hop ing to thus increase his business COPS AFTER STILLS Xo Conftlderatlon at Homecoming Even rratentltles 3Ir CIOMU Unless somethlne ! done to muzzle the ac tlrltles of the police In rtgtrd to stills, several fraternities around town will be unable o pay expenses. It is feared that so many of tbelr members wilt be decorating Chief Sidelight's pr Irate rooming house that .the rest will be unable to cope with the situation and the stills will hare to .close down Reports are that all known distilleries are runnlnc fall capacity at this time but dne to the big crowd In town, for the Homecoming tbey are enable to supply the demand. Negotiations with the "p Mice to effect an armistice until the crowd leaTes hare been futile. The police In sist upon their foil ra tions or else a fall Jag. NO TRIAL TOD IT rglys;rs Case IUt- ntlatfl In Jnilrn Inkwell' ConrL. ? Today is the date set for the trial of one Jote TUglygoof. who one morning sought to astonish the world by walking from Acapu d!e Hall to the Mounds whereon he would stand and glre the jackass bray to In form all who might hear that he cared naught for established traditions. He thought it would be a triumphal march, but after a few steps he hesitated and looked around nerrously as though he wished he had not been so rash. Before he had start ed he had made sure that a large crowd was present to witness his darede-ril feet. Aft er what seemed to him an age he reached the mounds and climbed weakly to the upper terrace. Whereupon a com mittee of Engineers called upon him and asked him to kindly run the race of the stupid who walk on the gras. On his refusal he was gently chlded and was begged to files se forgive the un otentlonal rudeness. But Mr. Uglygoof was Incensed at being spoken to by Engi neers before so large a crowd and to avenge the Insnlt sued them for $50 000. Many peo ple are under the Im pression that It Is tnat Kult which Is to be tried today. But Judge Inkwell gave out the Information lust be fore dawn this morn ing that Mr. Ugly goofs suit has been dismissed and that an alienist will testify to the condition of his mentality this after noon. Bulletin Board Notice. "Lost while at Christian College the other night for a short time, my necktie, coat, hat and B. V. D.s" It must hare been rather a rough party. HEALTH HI5TS By M. P. Ralsenhell, Professor of Medicine. Bare knees are still much In rogue in spite of the cold weather. Th habit Is not nearly so expensive now as formerly as the chill winds do away with the necessity of apply ing rouge to the knees. The new health charts that the girls are keeping allow the girls bat one cigarette after meals. This Is absolutely necessary as after the second cigar ette the glrla get rath er careless wnere ther throw the butts and are liable to start fires. The use of little early risers Is recom mended aa an excellent aid to making an 8 o'clock class. Since the Mrs. Woodson Boss meth ods hare been adopted In the University there his been a noticeable Improvement in the way that the girls keep tbelr windows open at night. No rea son is apparent for this as they never turn on the lights. University girls must stop the practice of smoking In classes. The smoke has been getting so thick in the class rooms lately that the Instructors cannot sleep In comfort. Dear Dr. Balsenhell: The other night while out with a girl I scratched my band on a safty pin. What shall I do for It? Spec Dee. Answer: Leave the pin alone Dear Doctor: I am considerably bothered with Insom nia. I sleep well all night and through the morning classes, but Have a tenaency ia vtay awake through a 3 o'clock. What shall I do? S. N. Ore Answer: Get a new girl. Dear Dr. Raisenhelll Is kissing danger ous? Why should soul kisses be avoided? Softe e Answer: If It's an other man's wife, yes. Kisses should be tak en externally, only. More Fish New. The fish pond south of Epedemle Hall is to be enlarged, accord log to late reports from the building com mittee. This Is neces sary because of the In creased number of fish In the Epedemle School. LOST AJfD WAITED WANTED Two old copper wash boilers and ten feet of copper tubing for chemical purposes. Ceorge Gombs. FOR REN T To right parties, basement room In Dumas apart ments, vacant store room on Broadway, small shop space on North Tenth and base ment on South Ninth. Apply to L. E. Rlttle. WANTED B a n d I that can play soft mu sic and funeral march es welL Must not ob ject to odor of dead Jay hawk. Apply to Room 202, the Tavern and ask for "Scrubby. FOR SALE Special ly manufactured Ice In very cold tempera tures for delivery to morrow morning in large quantities. Suit able for Ice water or packs for the head. We can also furnish Ice packs in sizes for heads up to No. 28. Gets hers Ice Co. FOR SALE Six cords of seasoned wood, assorted sizes. The Palms. place like this No All we ask is See us for arrangements Stay with us unmolested The Andies Noon Travern Big Pouch Stakeholder ' OUR NEW DRESSES Yes Really they show the dimples that is if you rool em and fit why you " Skin Tight iows All. . We guarantee you a marriage license within a week if you wear one. TESTES STORE X In every college town Costs you nothing Special Ivory Rooms Running Fountains Police Bought House Detective a trial should see you'll find a V