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THE MISSOURI HERALD, HAYTI, MISSOURI
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We haven't been publishing The Owl City News near a
hundred years as yet but we have been cussed and dis
cussed, boycotted and galtrotted, talked about, lied about4,
died to, hell up and hell down, robbed, mobbed, but not run
of town as yet. And, confidentially, the only reason we are
staying in business is to see what's going to happen next. We
are accused of being too bold spoken, and our bilious contem
porary, the Clayroot Gazoote, says we wouldn't know poetry
from poke salit. We are a poet, but few know it. So we are
going to give our readers a tew lines irom our large reser
vation of unpublished manuescrips. And, boys, of 1918, you
who crossed over and crossed back, they call us a hard old
nut, but you won't believe 'em when you read our poem.
There's a little girl on our block who always used to smile
A young girl, a pretty girl, a girl who loved to dance;
Who never fussed and worried,
Who was alwajs calm, unilurricd,
Who did not have a sorrow till her sweetheart went to France.
We .always liked to meet her, for in her eyes of blue
Was a look bo bright and sunny it warmed one through and through.
There's a little girl on our block whose face Is very sad
A lonely girl, a quiet girl, whose heart Is on the rack;
Whose soul is sick with yearning
For her loved one's safe returning,
Who knows that death may claim him, but would not call him back;
Who laid upon the altar the joy that used to fill
Her life, and learned the lesson to suffer and be still.
There's a little girl on our block, I met her just today
A changed girl, a hopeful girl, who's heard the news of Peace;
Who on wings of joy wab lifted
From the depths where she had drifted,
Who thrilled with strong emotion when the trumpet sounded "Cease!"
Who can never be a gay girl, a carefree girl again;
But whoso life gains added luster from its baptism of pain.
Old man Barley Overtight of Seldomseen paid the Owl
City News a howling visit this morning. Uncle Barley wants
a pension. This is the story he told us: "I want Uncle Sam to
bonus me or pay me a penshion. I earned it, if anybody ever
did. About this date, April 7, 1862, I was working on a ca
nal, digging 'round Island No. 10. It is fresh in my mind be
cause the river was up then about like now and the froge were
crawling out of the cold mud and turning loose their spring
song. We was cutting down trees under the water. There was
a steamboat pulling the trees out of the canal. One end of the
rope that we was using was attached to the captain (capstan)
and the other end to the tree. The rope slackened under the
water. I was in the water up to my waist. I was straddle of
the rope, but unbeknowins to me, all of a sudden, the steamer
tooted, the rope tightened and I was slung hell-to-breakfast;
and now, by gum, I want' Uncle Sam to bonus me with a pen
shion, and I think I'm entitled to it and have waited long
Sandy Bottom was over from Deering yesterday. Sandy
says they have mad hogs over there this spring. We are not
in the habit of throwing boquets at ourself, but must say that
Owl City has the best-natured set of hogs on earth. They
wait until night to do their work so as not to distui'b their
friends. They do not eat up the entire garden, as some hogs do,
but leave the pea sticks and fence. Some hogs eat the fence.
Then the Owl City hogs do not put their owners to the expense
of feeding them they make their living off the neighbors.
Owl City hogs may have their faults, but .they ain't mad.
It would take a moving picture machine to show the hand
springs Rit Bogus, editor of the Clayroot Gazoote, makes on
the different suffergett questions. When Rit is with the boys
down at the Muttonhead Club, he is agin wimmen voting, but
when he's trying to sneak in the back way at midnight and
runs afoul of his old lady waylaying him with a rolling pin,
he's powerfully in favor of wimmen's rights, or anything that
will stop a bear fight.
We ain't got any automobile yet. Our old gray mule may
have his faults, but we don't have to jack up his right foot and
whirl it around about 74 times before we can get started ; and
when we go over to Clayroot we know we are cuming back, be
cause we ain't never had a blow-out with him yet, but he cum
mighty near puncturing our bean onct with his measly hind leg
before we could dodge outen the way, which we did.
At the benefit concert for the Bull Frog band last Friday
nite, held in the hall of the Muttonhead Club, ye editor was
voted the homeliest man in the house and a fine little pig was
the reward, but the pig had to be caught. While his pigship
was looking over the program on the edge of the stage to get
his cue, we swooped dwon and got it. There is nothing in this
howl about the high price of living it's all in knowing how to
A scientist has invented whiskey that ain't got no spirits
in it. Take away the spirits and you take away the licker, and
it's no good for nothing but prohibitionists.
We ain't got no brass band in Owl City and don't need any
as long as the bullfrog orchestra holds out as well as it is do
God bless the swejl-head I We want him with us always
-we want something' no account to despise,
Mr. nnd Mrs. Hooker returned
Monday morning from Browning,
Mo where they attended tho bed
side of Mr. Hooker's mother, who
has been very ill.
Miss Kathryn McHanoy, our latin
and algebra teacher, has. boon un
able to meet he r classes since Tues
day on ncceount of illness. Her
mother is attending her. i
Miss Allie Cameron has been do
ing substitute work in tho grade
The manual training display has
been postponed indefinitely.
Tho Civic League has started its
spring improvement campaign with
the beautifying'of the High School
campus. Among other improve
ments, they arc to plant cannas.
Last fall the Chamber of Com
mcrce voted to give a prize to the
High School pupil who made the
best showing as a debator. They
did this in order to qticourage de
bating. We think that their pur
pose was accomplished, as enough
interest was created to enable us
to join the Debating League. Mon
day night tho Chamber voted to
give fifteen dollars to the High
School, which will be divided be
tween Ernest Lefler and Louie
Kohn. Ernest and Louie were our
representatives in the Poplar Bluff
debate. We hope we may have still
more interest shown in debating
The members of the High School
Dramatic Club are sorry, indeed,
that their play has bomewhat -interfered
with the revival meeting
at the Methodist church, and also
wishes to extend their thanks to
the pastor, A. B. Culbertson, for
beginning his services earlier Fri
PEMISCOT COUNTY FEDERAL
LAND BANK RE-ORGANIZED.
Mr. W. N. Yancey, special repre
sentative of the Federal Farm Loan
Board, called a special meeting of
the stockholders of the Pemiscot
County Federal Farm Loan Asso
ciation and the association was re
organized with a full set of officers.
Mr. Yancey said that the bank
had not been functioning properly
and that Pemiscot county was not
getting its share of the Federal
loans due the farmers of the coun
ty. All delinquencies were paid up
and the officers elected, which in
cluded some of the old members
and started out with assurance-
tliat the parent organization would
do all In its power to help them to
serve tho people.
Mr. Yancey is secretary-treasurer
of the Presscott National Farm Loan
Association of Presscott, Arkansas,
which has 'one million loans, and
said there was no reason why Pem
iscot county should not have several
times the loans she has now.
The board of directors elected
were: Chip Franklin, Caruthers
ville; J. M. Wallace, Wardell; J. T.
Jackson, Fred Morgan and C. O.
Raine of Hayti. Tho board of di
rectors organized with the follow
ing officers: C. O. Raine, president;
Chip Franklin, vice-president, and
H. V. Lltzenfelner, vice-president
of tho Bank of Caruthersville, secretary-treasurer.
In a few days the Association will
be fully equipped for business and
the fanners of tho county in need
of long time loans should consult
Mr. Litzonfelner or any member of
tho association in regard to loans.
THE MASONIC OBLIGATION.
To thoso persons who believed
that membership In a Masonic body
enrrics with it an obligation (o
shield a follow member) from tho
consequences of law violation, or to
stand between tho members and a
vordict of guilty, tho recent trial of
F. M. Perkins in tho district court
doubtless was edifying. In that
case a man who had received the
highest degree of Masonry was sen
tenced by a thirty-second degree
Mason. In passing sentence the
judge considered his oath of office
and did not violate any of his Ma
sonic obligations in so doing,
There is, of course, in Masonry,
the obligation to protect fellow
members from unjust treatment
and unmerited trouble and to obtain
a square deal for them, but tho
spirit and teachings, of the order
are for tho enforcement, not the
violation, of the laws of tho land.
Spring Invitation Salo begins
Saturday at Buckley's. Bo sure to
The J. L. Dorris Store front has
been treated to a now coat of paint,
which adds to Its appearance.
1 0-Days Introductory Sale 1 0-Days
The cream of creams. An exquisitely scented Liquid Toilet vLotion, the use of
which is a delight. Made in three colors: .Pink, Flesh and White
PRICE 50 CENTS
Buy one and we give you one extra FREE
Peoples Drug Store
We announce the following as can
didates subject to the Democratic pri
mary held Tuesday, August 1, 1922:
For County Clerk
For Judge of Probate Court
W. E. (Ed) GOTCHER
For Recorder of Deeds
HARVEY E. AVERILL,
JOHN W. GREEN
For Constable, Hayti twp.
S. P. (Sid) OATES
We announce the following as
candidates, subject to the will of
the Republican voters in tho pri
mary election August 1:
For County Court Clerk
W. B. O'CONNOR
"TWENTY YEARS" OF HARDING,
It seems as though I have benn
President for twenty years. Presi
dent Harding in a speech at the
National Press Club.
Not only to you, Mr. President,
but to others, does your service of
one year seem like two decades.
To the following citizens it seems
all of twenty years or longer.
The 4,000,000 . men who are
tramping the streets under your ad
ministration looking for jobs.
The farmers who are burning
their corn and who cannot sell their
products at a profit because their
foreign markets have been destroyed
by your party's policies.
The business men who have been
waitinK in vain for a revival of
business, which you and your party
promised, while business condi
tions have steadily grown worse.
Tho legitimate capitalists who
would invest in industrial enter
prises, instead of tax exempt se
curities, if industry had been re
vived as promised by you and your
Tho owners of factories whose
plants arc closed or running on re
duced time by reason of the failure
of you and your party to redeem
your election pledges.
The average taxpayer to whom
you promised a reduction in taxes,
which they are still Jooking for.
The ox-service men who have
watched you play hide and seek
with the bonus and who have been
discriminated against in appoint
ments to, postmasterships. '
The producers and shippers who
have waited in vain for a reduc
tion of freight rates.
The genuine friends of the civil
service who havo witnessed your
mockery nnd contempt for civil ser
The man whoso emblem was once
the "full dinner pail," but is now
the empty pocket.
Tho man who voted for a change
and got it.
' Yes, Mr. President, it seems like
twenty years all of twenty years,.
Dyersburg (Tenn.) Gazette.
Prof, and Mrs. E. O, Hooker re
turned Monday from Browning.Mo.
where thoy were called several days
ago on account of the serious ill
ness of Mr. Hooker's mother. She
was somewhat improved when "they
Cape Girardeau Sun: D. D. Kil
lian.who said ho lived in the north
west part of Pemiscot county, was
arrested Sunday night by Patrolman
Atchison and Pearson on a charge
of transporting liquor and being in
toxicated and lodged in the city
jail. A warrant was issued against
him yesterday by Justice of the
Peace Gust Schultz.
Killian is 53 years of age and said
ho had a wife and ten children, ire
came here, he said, a week ago'
with his family to visit a relative.
Killian was anxious to be freed and
was reported as saying he would
tell where ho got the liquor if given
his freedom. When questioned by
tho chief of police, however, he
said he did not know who it was
he got it from, but said it was "In
the country near here." Killian
told the police that he had live stock
and farming implements at home.
ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH.
A ma wnho believed he know all
about parrots undertook to teach
what he thought to be a young mute
bird to say "Hello" ifi one lesson.
Going up to the cage, he repeated
the word in a clear voice for several
minutps, the parrot paying uot
the slightest attention. At the
final "Hello," the bird opened one
eye, gazed at the man and snapped
"Line's busy!" Boston Transcript.
All colors and qualities of or
gandies and voiles at Kohn's.
L. .T. Banner attended to business
in Kennett this week, going over
Seed potatoes, sweet and Irish,
onion sets, and garden seed at
jyfjUH LUMBER 0
If your want comes under the head o
it can be filled here with the best there is
IT IS OUR ASSUMPTION THAT
WHEN YOU BUILD YOU WANT TO
BUILD FOR PERMANENCE. WITH
THIS IN MIND WE HAVE SELECT
ED A STOCK OF MATERIALS THAT
Regardless of what you build it
will pay you to see us for materials
BILLY NETHERY, Manager