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THE DEMOCRAT.
II. II. ADAMS I'ulilisher.
CAPE GIRAKUEA'r. - MISSOURI.
THE WEDDING DRESS.
How well I remember it all. We were
'.tting round the fire in the oak parlor
of the old Dower house at Cromer
mother. Aunt Lettie and L Dear Annt
Lettie! how beautiful she was still
despite her snow-white hair; and
though she was 39, her complexion was
as fresh and bright as any young girl's.
We were chatting over the peace just
proclaimed the peace that ended the
long war with France; the war that
lasted 20 years.
I was at my mother's feet watching
the faces gather among the glowing
embers they were ever the same face
t me, the face of dear Jack Pendarves.
Perhaps I oufc'ht not to say he was nry
lover, though we had ljeen sweethearts
since we were children; but he h.u!
been away at the wars three year1;,
and my mother would hear of no en
gagement, and would permit me to do
no more than write and receive an oc
casional letter. Still, I had broken a
sixpence with Jack v here we parted;
and, as I softly touched my half, which
I always carried, I prayed that my love
had been true to me. as I knew I had
leen to him. Yet I feared; for had
be not lieen everywhere, and surely he
bad seen many faces fairer than mine?
"I supimse,'1 said my mother, "Maj
Pendarves will be coming home now.
Well. Sir John and Lady Pendarves will
be thankful. Come in, Martha, what is
it?"
"Please, ma'am, a letter from Sir
John; a man from the hall has just
ridden over with it."
"See that he has some ref rcshmert
before lie goes, Martha, and give him
this," taking some money from her
reticule.
"What is it, Mary?" inquir'-d n:y
punt of my mother, who was reading
the note through a second time. "No
ill news. I trust."
"Oh, no; read it yourself. Letitia,"
passing the letter.
"Of" course, the child cannot go; she
has nothing to wear; there is not even
time to get her a dress from Norwich,
still less from Louden, as you know J
intended."
"Cannot go where?" I ventured. "Is
it anything about me?"
"Yes, my dear. Sir John wriles that
the masquerade given to celebrate the
leturn of their son is to take place .
month earlier than was at first ar
ranged, in fact, is fixed for to-day week,
as Jack Maj. Pendarves, I should say
--is expected on that day."
"Jack coming back on Wednesday!
Oh. mother, cannot I go? I must go.
I have been so looking forward to it.
And I have not seen Jack, dear Jack,
for three years. I wonder if he has
altered, if he has forgotten me. Oh.
nly seven days more, and he will be
here and I shall see him again. Oh.
mother, cannot I go?"
Aunt Letitia, who had been turning
the letter over and over thoughtfully
in her whie hands while we talked,
said:
"Mary, there is that dress, you know,
which was to have lieen my wedding
gown. 'If Lettie likes she may wear it.
Hoops and powder would do for a mas
querade; they were worn 20 years
.go."
"My clear letitia," cried my mother,
betraying her surprise alike in face and
voice, "you surely cannot mean that?"
"Yes. Mary; it may as well be of some
use at last. J.cuie is a goon gm, an
you not?" patting my head; "and 1
don't want her to lie disappointed."
I must tell something of my dear
aunt's life, that you may understand
why riy mother and I were touched to
surprise. Twenty years ln-fore, mv
fiunt. then IS, and the belle of Dawlish
(some said of Devonshire), was en
paged to be married to handsome Count
"I DOX'T CASK IF TOC BAVKS T A CEXT. '
Tresillian. It was a splendid match
; every way, for he was young, rich,
amiable; he was an orphan, untroubled
with any undesirable relatives, and,
moreover, he had an ample income
arising from money in the funds. Gil
bcit Tresillian came to stay in Dawlish,
w here my grand fat her t hen 1 i ved. at the
Mill house, a charming old place some
four miles from the town, surrounded
by magnificent gardens, sloping ter
race to the sea gardens, the admira
tion of the west country. The day be
fore the wedding he spent there, return
ing in the evening to the lied Lion, al
Dawlish. My aunt wa'ked with hin:
about a mile through the gardens,vhere
they parted until the morrow; and from
that moment Gilbert Tresillian was not
teen or heard of again. He disappeared
as completely from mortal ken as
though the earth had opened and swal
lowed him. The country was scoured,
the. shore beneath the cliff was searched
but not the slightest trace could be
found. My poor aunt came r.erir to die
with brain lever, and when she recov
ered her beautiful hair was white ae
snow. My grandfather removed from 9
place whose every object brought back
Eon.e .?-arful memory to his daughter;
and when, soon after, he died. Aunt
Lettie came to live with us in Cromer.
During the next few days I could
think and talk of nothing save the com
ing masquerade and Jack's return.
But be the day never so weary or long.
At length It ringeth to ever.sor.g.
And so at length theeventful evening
arrived. Aunt and mother dressed me
in petticoat and train of loveliest white
brocade, trimmed with filmy Honiton
lace. Mother dropped many a furtive
tear, recalling the bride that was to
have been, whose romance of love was
cut short, in such a mysterious fashion:
but aunt said never a word till I was
dressed, and then, turning to my moth
er, she exclaimed:
"She looks better. Mary, than I should
have done; and, after all, you see, it
has not Wen utterly wasted. P.ut you
must let me powder your hair, Lettie.
Everyone wore powder when I was
young."
At last I was ready, just as the lum
bering old chariot drew up to the door.
With parting advice from my mother
and strict injunctions not to damage
my precious dress I was started, Martha
and all the maids Ix-ing gathered iu the
hall to see me olT, gaping in o;cn
mouthed wonder at my unwonted splen
dor. I am an old, old woman now. but
w hen I close my eyes I perceive every
detail, even to the minutest, of that
night as if it were but yesterday. The
drive to the hall, the hedges and trees
sparkling with frost in the brilliant
moonlight; the hammer, hammer of the
horses' hoofs upon the iron-bound road.
The first sight of the hall as we drove
up the ivenue, all its windows illumi
nated; the faint sound of the music
borne upon the still night air; then the
entry into the brilliantly-lighted rooms:
Sir John and Lady Pendarves' hearty
w elcome all come back to ine now. 1
supj(ose my entrance made a serration.
I was conscious of a buzz of admira
tion as I passed through the ::sei:ililed
guests.
"Why, Lettie, my dear." exclaimed
Lady Pendarves, "how- beautiful you
look. I declare your hoops an l powder
lx-come you mightily. Put come along,
child, let me take you to Jack: he has
been asking for you ever since he came
back." And. taking my hand in her
jeweled one, "Lettie. mv dear, if vc.u
could"
Just at this moment up came .biek
(Maj. Pendarves he is now), looking
hendsome in his hussar uniform, yet
just tiie same merry, smiling Jack of
old. lie was my partner ii: the new
dance, called the vaise, just introduced
from abroad a dance that my mother
did not quite approve, as she considered
it too familiar for young men and maid
ens; but which I found very agreeable
with Jack for partner.
"Well, Lettie, you have grown quite
a woman now, and I suppose have quite
forgotten your old sweetheart?"
"Oh, Jack, how can you? I have my
half here," touching my pocket; "can
you say as inueh?"
"Yes, dear, that I can. I have never
parted with it; it has been with me
through every battle my talisman of
safety and love."
What need to tell again the old story,
ever sweet, that men will love to tell
and women to hear as long as the world
endures; suffice it that ere the dance
had ended I had promised to be his
wife.
"Oh, Jack." I said, as he was leading
me back to Lady Pendarves, "I felt al
most w icked to accept you. Yon know
I have not a penny; and my dress," I
added with a laugh, "is Aunt Let tie's."
"I don't care if you haven't a penny.
I have cnotiyh for both; and I want vou
fer yourself, anil not your money."
Lady Pendarves was delighted, and
Sir John was kind; and so it was set
tled that, with my mother's pi imissiun.
we were to be married ere Jack rejoined
his regiment.
"And now," said Lady Pendarves,
"you must realiy go and dance with
some of the other guests and leave Let
tie to me."
1 was sitting, oil, so happy, by Sir
John, w ho w as makiugall sorts of plums
for our future, when 1 saw a tall gentle
man, dressed in foreign uniform, mak
ing his way through the guests toward
the recess where we were. I hud no
ticed him several times before in the
course of the evening regarding me most
attentively.
As he was evidently coming to speak
to us. I said:
"Who is this gentleman, Sir John?
"Oh, my dear, a Mr. Mr. Tut, tut.
I forget his name for the moment, a
friend of Jack's who came over from
prance with him and is staying a few
days with us.' '
Py this time the gentleman had made
his way across the hall, and stood bow
ing to us.
"May I have the honor of this dance?"
he inquired.
I was going to reply "No," for -1
wanted forest till Jack came back to me,
when Sir John said: "Yc.s, Lettie,
child, do," so, of course, I was obliged
to say: "With pleasure."
My partner who was certainly un
commonly handsome and tall, almost
as handsome and tall as Jack, only
much o'dfr, was silent for the time,
and then said suddenly:
"Pray pardon my curiosity, but are
you a native of this country? You are
so like some one I knew years ago, the
likeness is quite startling."
"Oh. yes, 1 was born here in Cromer."
"Ah." he replied, with a sigh, "I was
foolish to think of such a thing, of
course it could not 1k" to himself; and
then to nie: "I only returned to Eng
land a few weeks ago. and am trying to
trace a Mi:;s Treherne."
"Why, that is my name," I ciiFvered,
quite startled.
"P.ut the Miss Treherne 1 am search
ing for is almost ns old as I am, and
you you are not more than IS be
sides, you say you were born in Croaaeti
and she was a native of Dawlish."
"Why, you na ust mean dear Aunt Let-
tie, my father's sister," I said; 'Ve
came from Dawlish here."
"Is your aunt married," asked my
partner, breathlessly.
"Xo."
"Thank God!" I am sure I heard him
mutter under his breath.
"No." I said. "Aunt had a terrible dis
appointment years ago: her lover was
killed fell over the cliff, we think
the day before they w ere to have bee n
married, and aunt has never cared for
anyone since."
"Thank God!" my strange partner
said this time, aloud. "My child, I
ought to explain, to introduce myself.
I should have ("'one so at first, but the
likeness was so striking; I thought per
haps you were her danghter. My name
is Tresillian, Gilbert Tresillian ah, I
see you know," noticing my start. "I
was not killed on that aw fid night. I
was captured by the press gang."
"Yes, yes," I said, "go on."
"I made a desjiernt.? fight for liberty,
but what was one against so many?
I was soon knocked insensible, and
when I recovered consciousness I waa
on shiphoard, bound for the Mediter
ranean. The next day a gale sprang up,
our vessel was separated front the rest,
and we were c;:ptur-ri, after l smart
engagement, by the enemy. I waa
landed, wounded and a prisoner, ami
have remained a prisoner ever since.
I tried to communicate with England,
but was discovered, and in consequence
was transferred to another prison, this
time in Sw itzerland, and only the entry
of the allies into Paris gave me my free
dom. I came lo England, hurried to
Dawlish, to find that Miss Treherne
hud left years ago, and that no one
knew- my whereabouts. I returned to
London to settle matters with my
agents, and instruct them to continue
the search, and then accepted the iu-
1 , ..A, ,
mm
1 1
"well, mt child, you have f.sjoyed
voit.ski.f."
vitation of Maj. Pendarves, whom I had
met in I'aris, to spend a short time with
him. And you think Letitia Miss
Treherne, I mean has not forgotten
me ?"
"No. I am sure." I raid, "quite sure.
Oh, I am so glad. You don't know
Aunt Lettie." Noticing an amused
smile on his face: "Oh, 1 had forgotten.
Well, she is just the sweetest, dearest
woman in the world, and I am so glad;
it is just like a story. Now take me
back to Sir John and tell him."
Jack and Sir John, Mr. Tresillian and
I were soon so deep in explanations
and congratulations that I am afraid
for a time the other guests had to look
after themselves. It was arranged lhat
Jack and Mr. Tresillian should accom
pany me home that very nicht.
"Lettie, my child," said Lady Pen
darves, with a merry twinkle in her
e-yc, as I was leaving, "rjiless I am much
mistaken, we shall lie having two Miss
Trehernes married instead of one."
How- happy I was that night! I kept
touching mv half of the broken six
pence in its blue silk bag in my pocket;
it hud indeed brought me luck. How
ever, the happiest day must end, and so
I suppose must a merry evening. Jack
and 1 and Mr. Tresillian were soon roll
ing over the front-bound roads toward
home, I with my hand in .Tuck's, su
premely happy, and Mr. Tresillian tell
ing us his experiences as a prisoner in
France. Poor fellow, how-1 pitied him!
At last we arrived at the Dower house,
and it was agreed that I should go in
fii-t and br-ak the news to my mother
and annt. Mother came into the hall
to meet mr.
"Well, my child, have you enjoyed
yourself? Put there, I need not ask you
you look radiant."
"Oh. mother dear," laying my hand
on her shoulder. "I am so happy. Jack
has asked me, anil if you consent, we are
to be married at Christmas." For an
swer my mother kissed me. "And,
mother. Jack is here, and some one else.,
v. horn you and aunt, too, will he glad to
see an old friend."
"An old friend; but. my dear child,
why don't you bring them in?"
".Tack, dear," I cried, "come in. loth
of vou. Oh, mother dearest," I said, half
laughing and half crying, "he was not
killed; he did not die."
"Was not killed; what do you mean?"
replied my mother, turning round as
Jack, followed by Mr. Tresillian. came
up the hall. My mother put out loth
hands to take Jack's and then catching
sight of Mr. Tresillian's face, exclaimed:
"Merciful heaven, Gilbert!"
"Yes, Mary, it is I; not dead, as you
see; and Lettie?"
"Is waiting still, Gillcrt. Oh, Maj.
Pendarves, I am so glad, Lettie has told
me. And now, child, go into the oak
parlor and break the news to your aunt.
No, perhaps I had letter. Gil!ert, come
when I call." Jack and I went over by
the fire; and in a few minutes mother's
.oice called: "Gilbert, Gilbert, come
quick!"
Mother soon rejoined us, nnd, together
in the firelight, we talked over our
plans; Jack saying I must go to London
&td be presented at Court on my mar
riage. There is little else to tell. As
Ijidy Pendarves had said, there were
two Miss Trehernes married together,
and though Jack would never agree
with roe, I always said Aunt Lettie
looked the better of the two. Black and
White.
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
Jersey's estates have voted to main
tain French as the oflicial language of
the island and not to allow the optional
use of English.
At Manlevrier, in Vendee, the na
tive town of the Yer.dean chief Stoffiet.
the roof of the thirteenth century
church fell in during Sunday mass re
cently, killing four jiersons and injur
ing many others.
The prince of Wales is to b? in
stalled as chancellor of the University
of Wales in the coming summer. The
ceremony will take place at Ab.'rys-
twyth. the seat of the oldest of the ;
constituent colleges of the university. I
Monsigr.or Azarian, patriarch of j
the Catholic Armenians, savs that tha
massacres of the hist three months have
been chief! v among the Gregorian Ar
menians, and that the Unman Catholics
' who tried to shelterthem have had their
i property plundered and confiscated.
!
All the students at Peile college, a i
training school for teachers near Dur- j
I ham, have Ikm-ii suspended for refusing ;
j to cat the bit f put before them. After j
i remonstrating in vain they left the din- ;
I ing hall in a body without touching j
j their dinners, and out of (14 men only 12 !
would apologize. j
j Kcv. Madison Camplx-ll. pastor of :
I the e-olorcd. P.aptist church at Kich- '
' moml. Ky.. for the past 25 years, has ;
. kept tab on the extent of his travels
j during his ministry. During slavery i
times he walked 0.21 K) miles to perform j
his various duties; since then he has :
traveled '.(.Dim) miles on horseback, 14.- j
I "on miles by train, l.!;40 by buggy, and !
I f.cni) by st ige. He has baptized more ;
i than .'LOU) persons during his ministry, j
I Trench medical students are angri- !
I ly complaining that they are crowded ;
j out of theirown schools by youths from j
! abroad, and French doctors are even
'. mine indignant beeause these foreign-
ers. instead of going home afteracquir- '
J ing a knowledge of physics and surgery.
si ttle down in France and compete w-ith ,
the native practitioners. Of the C.IWM ;
' students in the Paris Medical school it
I seem that !.'' ! are aliens, and the pro
I portion is uiniost as large in provbiical I
' :!istituiions. notably at Montpellis-r.
DUTCH POLITENESS.
Bo-1;tl Ktiouette in the Netherlands.
-taw
of Street Salutations.
Social etiquette iu the Netherlands
is as interesting as it is peculiar, and in
its extraordinary manifestations it is
a revelation of what constituted the cus
toms of New- York hospitality of two
centuries ago. Tiie French arc polite,
but their politeness is nothing as com
pared with that of the Dutch. The
visitor notices it as soon as he arrives
in the country, and as he sees it ill the
street s-.dutations. Kverybody hows,
nobody nods, and mere touching of the
hat is ujiknovvn. As in France, the
gentleman bows first; but, although
he may have bowed for ten years, he is
denied the privilege of addressing the
lady. A bow is given to every acquaint
ance. A Dutchman gives an order to a
workman and takes oiT his hat with a
Imw that would iaot bring discredit ton
dude. If he meets his neighbor's foot
man or kitchen girl, he saJutes her &s
he does her mistress, and the men serv
ants give their reeognition on meeting
ladies. Every one bows on passing a
house where acquaintances reside, and
:f is amusing to see men go by and take
oiT their hats at the windows it is
quite immaterial whether any of the
family are visible. Moreover, ladies
make a polite bend of the whole body
as they pass houses where they visit.
Tradesmen salute all of their custom
ers. A lady is l"v.ed to by all of her
father's, brother's or husband's friends,
and if a Dutch boy's father or brother
bus ever met a lady, that boy must rec
ognize her. Every man takes off his
hat to every other man that he knows,
the dustman ai.d the p-isior bowing as
politely a.s two lords. Golden liule.
The Sandslorm in 'i-ir Jersey.
The face of the great sard plains o!
foutli Jersey have h,en considerably
changed by the recent high winds,
which caught up the sand and piled it
i'tain.st houses, fences or any other ols-striii.-tlon.
Cuttings and ditches have
bi en iiil'-d i:. gnat piles -.' sand were
caught by bushes and he.-:ied up in
some places until the sand mound was
over 20 feet high, and some i f th." roads
are almost inqiass:.bl. owing to the i
amount of sand which was blown on
them. The Pennsylvania railroad had
men at v.orl; day and night during the ,
storm to keep their tracks from being ;
buried in sand. The sand siftetl into j
houses anil barns, covering everv thing '
with a gritty deposit. Travel in this '
part of the country during the high .
winds was almost impossible, for the
sand was blinding and worked into
clothing so as to irritate the skin, w hile
hundreds of people are sulfering from
sore eyes ;is the result of their expi
sure to the great sandstorm. Scientific
American.
Mair hs Meilirliie.
Much attention has been given lalelj
.'o the' power of music at, a curative
agent. One experimenter has discov
ered that music affiH-ts the heart, stimu
lating the action of the blood and caus
ing it toe-oincidewith changes inbreath
ing. Another says that the functional
action of the skin i increased by music.
A Vienna doctor has used music as a
medicine when jwitients were ir. trances
and proved that a man Without music
in his soul docs net exist. One man,
aged 4t. normally insensible to music,
vv as hypnotized and had a Wagner selec
tion played in his hearing. His pulse
and respiration increased, and when
aroused he stated that he had not heard
the music as sound, but only as a general
sensation.a feeling like rnshingf hrougr
space. Chicago Tribune.
Tne Difference.
Pilklns (in a rage) Hang the con
founded luck! Now my wife has
smashed another ?1"0 vase, and
Little Willie Oh, no; it was Marie,
the new pretty French maid
"Oh ah ahem! AccidenU wlU
happen." 2f. Y. World.
ASHANTEE EXPEDITION.
What
Led to the Campaign In Which
Prince Hcnrj Lost His J.lfe.
The origin of the dilti--ulty with AjH
nntee, which led to the expedition in
which Prince Henry lost his life, may
be assigned to the year Lord
Kuntsford then decided that a r.ritish
representative should be s-ent to the
court of Cooniassie. King Prempeh ai'
ceded with reluctance, for, notwith
Btanding the tlebt of about $500,000 due
to England on account of Sir Garnet
Wolseley's expedition in 1ST3, he still
claimed to be an independent sovereign
over his Oil.f'00 square miles of terri
tory. Put in 1S94 the acting governor
of the Gold Coast colony sent him word
that a resident was to lie sent to his cap
ital with power to define the limits of
Ashantee, to decide w hether represent
ative action should be taken in the case
of reliellious chiefs, and to exercise su
pervision over the kingdom generally.
These demands were resented by
Prempeh, who sent his cousins. Prince
John and Prince Albert, to England to
obtain relief. Put they were unable
to effect any arrangement. Lord Iiose
bery referred them to the governor
of the Gold Coast, and when the con
servatives came into power Mr. Cham-lx-rlain
adopted the same line. And
then an expedition w as organized to en
force the ultimatum sent to the dusky
iiionarch.
The expedition was not on a very
large scale. Only 200 Pritish troops
were employed. They were supple
mented by a battalion of a West In
d ian regiment stationed at Sierra Leone
and a battalion of Houssas. The artil
lery consisted of nine-pounders and
Maxims. Cut, though small, the force
was sufficient for its purpose. After
hacking its way through 150 miles of
jungle, it is now- in eaceful occupation
oi Cooniassie. King Prempeh has an
nounced his intention of meeting in
every way the w ishes of his formidable
visitors, and it is announced that he and
his relatives are to le held in hostage
until his promises have been fulfilled.
It is highly probable that the whole
territory of Ashantee will now pass
r ne'er Pritish protection. Thetcrritory
wiil prove a valuable acquisition, for
the amount of gold in it is, by all ac
counts, so large that it may lie expected
to affect the prici of the metal in the
.Mirld's markets. N. Y. Herald.
A DESERT FACTORY.
Its Principal Hushies Is to Tnrn Oat
Splints for Surgeons.
Down below the Santa Fe round
bouse, near the railroad trucks, is a fac
tory unlike any other in the I'niteri
States, or, for that matter, anywhere
else. It makes splints for the use of
surgeons in bandaging broken limbs
from a peculiar fibrous material that
possesses especial adaptability for the
purpose. This material is none othet
than the wood of theyue-ca palm, which
grows plentifully em the Mojave desert.
The trees are cut down and trimmed
into logs about ten or twelve feet long
and from ten inche-s upwards in diam
eter, and shipped to the factory, where
they are stripcd of inirk and carefully
insiiected. About half or more of the
logs e-ontain what might le called
flaw s, or kidney-colored masses of car
bonized wood so hard that the machin
ery used cannot cut them. Nobody
seems to be able to explain how these
formations are e-aused, but they make
the men at the factory a great deal of
trouble and spoil much timber. The
logs are sawed into suitable lengths, a
length put in a lathe. and a longknife Ls
pressed against it. taking off a shaving
about an eighth of an inch thie-k, more
or less, according to the use to be made
of it. This long shaving or lioard is
then cut into smaller pieces and put
away in racks to dry. for the trees are
cut up when green, it being impossible
to soften th, m after they are dried.
Although they grow in the desert and
look parched to the eye. they are full ef
water and weigh so much when green
that they sink in water. The eorer
quality of the yucca is cut up into nar
row strips, which are fastened around
young fruit trees to protect them from
sunburn and the attacks of rabbits, for
which purpose they are found to an
swer admirably, and a great many eif
them are used. P.ut the use of thisnm
terial upon w hich the greatest hope of
ultimate profit is based is for splints,
for which it is much better adapted
than any other material used, as well as
being cheaper. Los Angeles Journal
A long Farewell.
The Frenchman's politeness some
times serves him in good stead to point
y rebuke. A Frenchman who was stay
ing at a hotel in Edinburgh asked, at
he cashier's desk, how much his bill
was, and was astonished to find how
preat an amount had been charged.
He felt that he had been plunderer,
ljut he paid the bill, and then asked to
,-ce the proprietor. Presently the land
lord came dow n in resjionse to the call,
til beaming w ith smiles.
The Frenchman rushed up to him, ex
claiming: "Ah! let me embrace you! Let me
kees you!"
"Put why do you want to embrace
me, sir? I I don't understand."
"Ah! saire, but look at zee heel."
"Your bill? Yes; but w hat of it?"
"Vot of it? Vy, it mean zat I s'ai;
nevaire nevaire see you again, saire!"
Tit-Pits.
Kaslly Kiplalned.
"Sam, how is it that we here have tw
legs presumably off the same chicken
and yet one is about 1C0 per cent
tougher than the other?"
Sam Always the case wrth chicken,
sah; one leg has 100 per cent. nior
work to do than de oder, and de mus
cles cons'quently git tougher.
"Why. I never heard of that. Which
one is it?"
"De one de chicken sleeps on, sah."
Harper's Magazine.
Oar Ueggsrs.
"Poor man! You have only oneer
left! How did you lose the other?"
"In looking for work, kind l&dy."
L'Evenement.
THE
HUMOROUS.
Cynicism "Papa, what is cynic?
"A cynic, my son, is a man who sneers
at everything he hasn't cash enough to
keep tip t-ith."-!-Chicago Record.
"How does Jibson stand prosperity
3ince he came into his fortune?" "Oh,
be stands it all right, but it is pretty
tough on his friends." Cincinnati En
quirer. "I wonder why the widows always
get the best of the race for husbands?"
asked the fool young man. "They aro
faster, I guess," replied Miss Ann
Shent. Cincinnati Enquirer.
"I do not see," she said, with great
severity, "how- it would be possible to
add to the unsightliness of bloomers.
ADd the little wheelwoman contented
herself with innocently remarking:
"Perhaps you are prejudiced. Did you
ever try them on?" Washington Star.
They Listened to the End. "You
know- what a long-winded speaker
Mr. Wyndham is?" "I guess I do." "He
says he never delivered but one speech
where some people did not get up and gc
out" "Where was that?" "In the
Joliet penitentiary." Port Jervis Ga
zette. "My good man," said the titled
gentleman who hael be-en violating a
municipal ordinance, "I am not subject
to the laws here; I belong to the no
bility." "Well, begorrah," replied Mr.
Terrence Flynn, "for the matter o
that, nayther am Oi. Oi belong till the
police force." Washington Star.
"Glass-eating," observed a freak
who was as yet unclassified, "is a bad
business. A glass-eater is thrown much
in the way of temptat ion. I have known
several to become addicted to the bot
tle." The Zulu chief, to whom all civili
zation was new, laughed boisterously,
but otherwise all was intensely and op
pressively still. Detroit Tribune.
THE HUMAN FACE.
Visible Signs of Invisible Thing Should
lie Our linides.
It is claimed that there is much in
physiognomy which reveals the true
character of the person to those from
whom it is most desirable to conceal
it. The claim is a just one for those
whr have learned the language of the
face, but there are few who really un
derstand these "visible signs of invisi
ble things." To most people the faces
cf those around them indicate nothing,
or surface qualities only. To the
learned few the characteristics indi-e-ated
are in many cases diametrically
opposed to those which the uninitiated
or casual observer sees.
"Isn't she lovely?" exclaimed one lady
to another recently. "She has such
candid, innocent, large blue eyes that
one must take to her at once.'' The
lady atldressed made no reply, but she
felt that those same blue eyes were of
a type that, innocent, childlike and
soulful as they might seem, always iu
dicated a lack of truth in the owner,
"1 would not trust those eyes any
where," said she to herself, "but I shall
say nothing. They are of the type
known as 'the lying blue eye,' but it is
not for me to judge." Nevertheless her
diagnosis of the case was entirely cor
rect. ,
With a face of candor and blue eyea
that would melt a heart of stone, the
owner, nevertheless, proved utter
ly unreliable in her word in
every way. Precisely the same
thing hapcned in relation to ;l
man having the same kind of sour5
ful blue eyes. It is not necessary that
everyone having blue eyes should have
a propensity for untruth, nor that all
owning eyes of other colors should be
truthful, but so far it has been proved
that those to whom nature has given
eyes of this peculiar blue she also
gives a vivid imagination, to 2ut it del
icately. "What do you think of So and So?"
was a-sked by a man of another man.
in relation to some one with whom
he would have close dealings.
"I do not like his square jaw. You
will have trouble with him if you run
up against his opinions or judgment ot
if you give him any hold. Give him at)
inch and he'll take an ell."
"He has lie-en ve-y pleasant so far."
"That may be, too, and I maj- be mis
taken. Try him." In three months or
lt-ss the square jaw had asserted itself
and the close relations were abandoned.
There is no study which pays better
ir. the long run than that of the human
face. We may In-come disgusted with
all the meannesses we find below the
surface, but then we likewise will be
disappointed in the many gooil points
we discover, hitherto unsuspected, in
an unattractive face. So things will
even themselves up. Philadelphit
Tall.
Cinnamon Adulteration.
The organ of the Society of Publirj
Analysts mentions the following curious
instance of commercial ingenuity: A
certain firm of confe-ctioners abroad use
a large quantity of wainut in various
forms of sweets and found that
the shells had a distinct com
mercial value and, in fact, they
sold the shells for more than they
gave for the whole walnuts. The sheila
are ground to powder and then iish1 in
adulterating ground cinnamon. But the
buyer is not altogether "ecure in pur
chasing cinnamon in the stick, forthii
it sometimes adulterated by the na
tives who gather it with barks of othel
shrubs. A heartless, if ingenious, do
ception, too, is that practiced cverj
spring, when large quantities of a conv
mon weed, the leaf of which closely re
sembles the musk plant, ere by somt
means slightly scented with musk and
sold as the genuine, at so much a root,
to the great subwquent disappoint"
mentof the buyer. Household World-
A Poor .Marhlne.
"I am afraid your typewriter is not
a good make of machine," said the ed
itor to a man who had brought in
typewritten article.
"Why. sir?"
1 gee It doesn't know how to soell
erj well." To Data.
