Newspaper Page Text
B. II. ADAMS. vMh,.
CAPE OIRART Exr.
A MODEL HUSBAND.
Bat Recital of Hit Many Virtues Was
t topped by a Question.
It was at a woman's luncheon, and
they had been exchanging opinions in
regard to the husband question, both as
a whole and with particulars. By the
time ice cream was served the discus
sion had grown quite heated, and the
hostess was beginning to look anxious.
At the top of the table the woman in the
chiffon vest and her companion in the
fur-trimmed gown were at daggers
"Well, I don't care what anyone says,
my husband is as good as they make
them, said the woman in the chiffon
vest, excitedly. "lie always rocks me
to sleep when I have a sick headache,
and he gets breakfast when the cook
is away, and he always gets up in the
night if the baby cries!" She glared at
the woman in the fur-trimmed gown
triumphantly, and she in turn glared
back and took up the parable of speech.
"Well, my husband," she remarked,
with a strong accent upon the pos
sessive case, "never does any of those
things; I should be sorry to see him do
any of them. I detest a man who steps
over into his wife's province. But he
always looks after the furnace, and I
never have to worry about the coal bill."
The woman in the chiffon vest smiled
disagreeably, and the hostess was about
to interpose when the pretty woman at
the foot of the table spoke up.
"My husband does all the things you
have mentioned," she said, sweetly,
"and a lot more. When we have no girl
lie washes the disnes and sweeps, and
I've never had to get dinner once since
we've been married. I always knew he
was going to be lovely that way, be'
cause he said so little about it. I never
have mueh faith in the men who talk so
much. When we were first married we
talked about it, and he spoke beauti
fully. 'I don't say I'll always do it,
Jennie,' he said, the first time I was
without a girl, 'but I'll always help.'
And he s been betterthan hisword right
along. Last night he even made the
porridge so it would be ready for break
fast this morning, and every morning
he brings me a cup of coffee liefore I
With the rmile of a conscious con
queror she toyed with her menu card
and smiled sweetly at the angry women
at the otiier side of the table. They
were speechless, but the woman in the
gold-rimmed glasses who sat in th?
middle gave her a keen look and smiled
"Something has got to be done for
the protection of us poor spinsters,"
she Slid, merrily, "and if anyone else
tells z. husband story I shall retaliate
with a tale regarding a wonderful cat
which I possess. Eutfirst.beforewequit
the subject, let me ask a question, How
long," turning to the pretty woman at
the foot of the table, "have you been
The pretty woman blushed vividly.
"Nearly two weeks," she stammered
out timidly, and the other women
laughed in the unfeeling manner thej
o often affect. Chicago Tribune.
THE WRONG PLACE.
Struck a Hotel Where There Wim'i
Et ly Anything to Kat.
They were a middle-aged couple, and
evidently this was their first visit to the
metropolis. They wandered into a
fashionable up-town restaurant in a
hesitating, hope-we-don't-intrude sort
of way, and after being ushered to a pri
vate table he picked up the bill of fare
and gazed helplessly at it for a few sec
onds, and then dropping it he glanced
at the expectant waiter and said:
"Reckon I don't keer fer any of yei
fancy vittles to-day. Ye kin bring on
a couple of good-sized hunks of b'iled
ham, some sourkrout an' three or four
slices of Johnnycake an' some cow's
butter (none of yer oily-margarine,
mind ye, but jest plain butter),and New
Orleans molasses to eat on it."
It was pretty hard work, but the
waiter managed to keep his face
straight while replying:
"Very sorry, sir, but we are all out of
boiled ham and Johnnycake. Isn't there
something else you would like? '
"Waal, yes; ye can bring us a wood
chuck stew. Used to have it purty
often out home, but I hain't run across
a fat woodchuck fer some time now, an'
I reckon a little of it would taste good.
"What's that, out of woodchuck, too,
hey? Waal, I guess you'd better
bring us a platter of roast 'coon, with
onions and breadcrumb stuff! n', an' a
side dish of danderline greens."
"Sorry, sir, but"
"What! Don't mean to say yer out of
them, too? Waal, that settles it! 1
reckon we've struck the wrong hotel.
"ome on, Mandy, an we'll mosey along
out of here an hunt up a place where we
l:in git suthin' to eat!"
Before the waiter could recover his
breath his erstwhile customers were
lost to sight in the crowd. X. Y. Jour
nal. ruff I'ante
The more puff paste is handled th
better, says a cook, so long as it is man
aged as carefully as if it were made of
tulle, ancj so long as the one principle
to keep the air in. not to press it out
is borne in mind. But the less plain pie
crust is touched the better it is. The
same ccok advises that the undercrust
common to a custard pie need not be
soggy, if, before pouring the custard in,
Uie lower crust is braised over with the
white of an egg beaten up with a little
water. X. Y. I'ost.
Her New Salt.
Wife George, Mrs. Herbert has got
-a $5,000 suit
George Oh, come now, Mary, that
Wife I know it won't, dear; It's a
suit for slander, you know. Up-to-DatA
LEASE. Dan'pa. will
oo tell me," asked
a small. but
"Why Is a little
hatchet called a
symbol of the
"Why, don't you know?" said Grandpa.
Little Bobby shook his head;
"'I tooly don't." he answered. "Then you
ought to," Grandpa said.
"All ready," he continued, taking Bobby
on his knee,
"It's going to be a story, and you're wide
awake, I see.
Once on a time a little boy of just about
Received a little hatchet from his father
for a gift"
"Oh, what a funny present." thoughtful
Bobby cried. "Suppose
That boy had chopped his fingers off and
bloodied all his clothes:
I dess bis foolish papa then would cry a lot.
Why didn't that boy's mamma take the
hatchet right away?"
"Perhaps she didn't know It," Grandpa
laughed: ""at any rate
Next morning bright and early rose that
little boy elate
To try his little hatchet; In his father's
Displayed his skill by cutting down a fa
vorite cherry tree."
"A cherry tree?" cried Bobby. "Weren't
any woods around?
Why, cherries are the goodest things to
eat I ever found;
I dess that little fellow wasn't smart a bit,
Say, Dan'pa! Do you fink I'd kill a lovely
"Of course you wouldn't, Eobby; you're
too fond of things to eat:
But, Just .'or fun. suppose you did, and
then had chanced to meet
Tour father in the garden, and he sternly
asked you who
Cut down his favorite cherry tree. Now,
tell me what you'd do."
"Well, Dan'pa! let me fink. If I cut down
his cherry tree
And papa came and caught me with the
hatchet, wouldn't he
Know certain sure I did it? If I told a
He'd whip me twice as hard, you know, for
telling him a lie.
"But if I looked real sorry and I didn't skip,
"Dear pop! forgive poor Bobby, who cut
down your tree;' instead
Of getting any whipping wouldn't papa
say: 'My son!
Because you didn't tell a lie, no whipping
will be doner "
"Ahem!" said Grandpa, startled by the
wisdom of the tot,
"That's just the thing that happened In
the story. Now you trot
Away to bed, and say your prayers before
you close your eyes.
And dream about the whippings bad boys
get for telling lies."
H. C. Dodge, In Detroit Free Press.
in the year of our
Lord ISO!), at my
grandf at h er's
house on the Mus
kingum river, the
major told this
"It happened this way," he bega.
"I was sent to Washington on a forag
ing expedition. It was before the battle
of 1 orktown. The major s eagle eye
scanned the faces of his attentive lis
Every one of the company had been
officers an Gen. ashangton s army.
Together they had fought in every bat
tle from Bunker Hill to the capture of
Cornwallis at Yorktown. I can see
them now strong of feature, brave of
bearing, their snow-white cues falling
on velvet collars, white ruffles at their
wrists, knee breeches, leggings, and the
quaint buckle shoes of colonial times.
There was bluff old Kufus Putnam,
whoso engineering skill on Dorchester
Heights enabled Washington to drive
the British from Boston; brave little
Commodore Whipple, who gave birth to
the American navy by offering the first
defiance to England on the sea, anil
the commanding figure of RobertOIiver,
who erected the first saw and grist mill
in Ohio, together with Jonathan Devol,
one of the first ship builders in the
But how did all these famous war
riors find their way to the beautiful
Ohio valley, you may ask? Teace re
stored, their country had no more use
for fighting soldiers, war had robbed
them of their fortunes. But they were
undaunted, and together they boarded
the Mayflower a floating barge and
made their way into the Ohio valley.
There they laid out farms at Beeprc,
Waterford and Amestown, the earliest
settlement iu the vicinity of Marietta.
At eventide they were wont to float
down the calm bosom of the river, and
at the peril of the lurking red man's
tomahawk, moor their skiffs at my
grandfather's door. Once in the glow
of the pine knots heaped high on the
open hearth, these scarred veterans re
vived in story their country's struggle
Striking, even in this distinguished
gathering, was the major. He was a
lineal descendant of Gov. Bradford, of
colonial Massachusetts. lie stood high
in Washington's esteem, and shared the
friendship of Lafayette. He never failed
to bold his audience, and he had it now.
"We were reconnoitering in West
moreland county, Va," he continued.
"I chanced upon a fine team of horses
hitched to a plow; they were driven by
burly slave. Finer animals I have
never seen. When my eyes had feast
ed on their beauty, I cried to the driver:
'Hello! good fellow, I must have your
horses. They are the very animals I
have been looking for.' The black man
showed his teeth and rolled up the
whites of his eyes while he put the
lash to the horses' flanks and turned up
another furrow f rich soil. I waited
until he had finished the row, then I
threw back my cavalier cloak.
"The ensign of my rank was not lost
upon the slave.
" 'Better see missis, better see missis.'
he cried, waving his hand to the south,
where beyond cedar growth rose the
towers of a fine old Virginia mansion. I
turned up the carriage road, and soon
my hand was on the brass knocker. In
stantly the door was swung back on its
"TELL GEORGE WASHINGTON THAT
ponderous hinges and the majestic form
of a woman filled the empty space.
" 'Madam, said I, dropping my hat,
and visibly overcome by her dignity, I
have come to claim your horses in the
name of the government."
" 'My horses?' She bent upon me
eyes born to command. 'Sir, you cannot
have them; my crops are out and I
need the horses in the field."
" 'I am sorry." said I, 'but such are
the orders of my chief."
" 'Your chief who is your chief?
she demanded, with restrained warmth.
" The commander in chief of the
American army Gen. George Wash
ington. It was now my turn to lie
grandiose. I squared my shoulders
while a smile of triumph softened the
sternness of her handsome face. 'Tell
George Washington,' said she, 'that his
mother said he could not have her
"Humbled to the dust," laughed the
major, "I turner' away convinced that
I had discovered the source of my
chief's decision and self command."
"Did you report to Washington?"
asked a hero of Brandywine.
"Yes," said the major.
"What did he say?"
"With one of his rare smiles the Fa
ther of His Country reverently bowed
his head." Lida Rose McCabe, in Chi
cago Inter Ocean.
A PRACTICAL STATESMAN.
George Washington as a Model Alan of
Business, Order and Law Trn hfol, Just,
Washington was eminently a prac
tical statesman. His mind was of the
solid, practical order. In the Old South
church in Boston I have seen, in his
own bold and clear handwriting, the
expense accounts which he kept in the
revolution, down to the shillings and
the pence. He was no theorist, the
author of no new idea or system in gov
erniment. He left to Jefferson to
enunciate the great ideas of liberty in
tiio Declaration of Independence and
o Hamilton to inaugurate our great
fystem of finance. But when it came
to practical administration and execu
tive duty he was a model of business,
of order and law. Here his great rule
and guide was the conscientious per
formance of public duty. Naturally
conservative in his ideas, the suprem
acy and authority of law and govern
ment) were ever uppermost, in his mind
and purpose. When in his second term
that whisky insurrection broke out in
Pennsylvania and the misguided mal
contents, after fair warning by his
proclamation, continued to resist the
collection; of the tax and to resort to
tmob law and violence, he promptly
called out 15,000 militia from the neigh
boring states and repaired to the scene
cf action, ready to take command and
crush the incipient rebellion with a
strong hand. But this show of power
and purpose, with Washington behind
it, was enough, and the lawless ele
ments retired abashed, as they always
will, when confronted by a leader who
dares to shoot and to kill.
Cut Washington not only recognized
his obligation to he people and to the
law, but he was ever niivdful of the
still higher obligation to the principles
of justice and humanity. To be truth
fuL to be just, to be" humane these
were the bright jewels in his crown of
character. It is a fact most interesting
and impressive now to recall, after all
our greet troubles and conflict over the
slavery question, that he left his solemn
testimony against that institution in
words which outfit to have been heeded 1
by his countrymen. As early as 1780,
just after the revolution, he wrote
"There is no man living who wishes
more 6incerely than I do to see a plan
adopted for the abolition of slavery.
But there is . but one proper and ef
fectual anode by which it can be ac
complished and that is by legislative
authority, and this, so tar as my suf
frage will go, will never be wanting."
And these noble words he put into
practical effect by the emancipation of
his own slaves by will, humanely pro
viding for the support of the aged and
infirm among them, and giving the
most explicit and peremptory direc
tions that those too young to support
themselves should "be taught to read
and write and brought up to some use
ful occupation" and thistobeacharge
HIS MOTHER SAID HE COULD NOT
upon his estate. non. Charles S. May,
in Detroit Free Press.
A TALE OF
DAY. Again he read the story of the hatchet and
And said: "I'll do some chopping and a
president will be."
So he got his little hatchet and hastened
to the place.
When he found his daddy waiting with a
set, determined face.
Who led him to the woodpile, and In a
voice of law.
Bald: "If you waat to chop, sir, chop some
firewood for your maw!"
Mbm) latiereatlmar Facta aa t Tet
The following interesting extract
ire from an article by Mr. Robert P.
Porter on the "Condition of American
Kailways," published in a recent num
ber of the New York Sun:
The latest general balance sheet of the
railways of the United States gives us a
total valuation of railway property close
to tt.209,000,000. and over 1SO.00O miles of
road. Next to our farms, which aggregate
ti.zuu.miu.uuu. these great properties will
form, at the close of the century, the most
valuable assets of the republic. The con
struction of the great systems of trans
portation has played an important. If not
the most Important, part In the progress
oi tne naton during the last halt century.
Within the last few weeks, the ways and
means committee of congress have granted
heatings at Washington to those represent
ing our several Industries. In reading the
published testimony, one is struck with the
deplorable accounts given of the condition
of many branches of manufacture. While
not occupying the public mind to anything
like the extent of the manufacturer, the
American railroad is In as bad, if not In
a worse plight. If congress would only ex
tend Its hearings to railways, the stories
of the recent tariff hearings would be re
peated with emphasis on a larger and even
more impressive scale. Loss of earnings.
reductions of rates below the paying point.
actual loss In passenger traffic, deteriora
tion of roadbed, reduction In the number
of employes,. others working half-time, re
ceiverships, foreclosure sales, practically
half of this enormous Investment bringing
no returns, and the blight of Insolvency
steadily settling down upon our entire sys
The losses and disasters arising from
these conditions have been widespread and
far-reaching. In the first place. It Is un
doubtedly true that In no other Industry
is so large a business carried on upon so
small a banking account. A railway com
pany is a great distributor, not only of
passenger and freight, but of money. As
fast as Its earnings come In. they go out
again. First, we have the army of direct
employes, which reached nearly 875.000 a
few years ago, but which has been reduced
fully 100,000. With continued prosperity.
our railway system would have to-day
furnished direct employment to at least
l.ooo.uou employes, this, however, gives but
an imperfect Idea of the number employed
iniiireotly, that is, in car shops and loco
motive works, and equipment shops of all
kinds, blast furnaces, rail mills and a
myriad industries dependent upon the rail
ways for their prosperity. As the percent
age of increase in equipment has been re
duced from ten per cent. In lfcSO, to an
actual decrease in 1895, It may be safely
assumed that thousands indirectly engaged
have been thrown out of employment. A
perusal of the statistics of railways as
compiled by the United States govern
ment shows conclusively that under ex
isting conditions most of our railways are
running behind, and the few that are ap
parently holding their own are far from
hopeful for the future. Economical man
agement is one thing, but forced economies
can only result In a deterioration of the
property. For a few years some of our
older railways can thus economize, but It
Is only by continued and liberal expendi
ture of money that track, roadbed, bridges.
equipment and rolling stock can be kept
up-to-date and In good running order. The
loss to labor has been enormous, and It Is
Important that railway employes of all
grades should study this side of the ques
tion. With freight and passenger rates
less than those of European countries.
where labor is paid about half the Ameri
can rates, how long will our railways be
able to tide along with reduced forces and
three-quarter time? Unless the decline In
receipts is stopped, wages must be re
duced, and then the trouble will begin.
Taking an army of 200,000 men out of active
employment in one occupation is a pretty
serious business. That means an annual
loss In wages of not less than S100.OGO.000.
Here we have the direct loss. The Indirect
loss comes from the Irreparable Injury to
the properties by reason of .not keeping
them up, ultimately entailing additional
With the exception of 1S94, passenger
rates reached their lowest In 1S95, while
freight rates, save- a small rally In 1???.
are steadily coming down. When compared
with foreign countries, are rates are In
deed low. It is said that if the Pennsyl
vania Railroad company could secure the
same rates as trie London & Ivorthwestern
company, the annual earnings would be
Increased $12,000,000. Mr. George R. Blanch-
ard. In his recent testimony before the In
terstate commerce committee of the sen
ate, said that had our railways collected the
lowest of the European charges, ws
would have received t370.000.000 more than
we did receive. This calculation waa based
on the figures of 1SS2. The figures of 1896,
which are lower for the United States,
would make a greater difference.
The impartial student of these data must
be struck with the necessity of commer
cial as well as Industrial reconstruction.
The census reports of 1880 and 1X90 and the
statistics of the Interstate commerce com
mission, all of which are uniform, together
with the valuable reports of H. V. Poor,
jive us material on which to base a thor
ough Inquiry. The presidents and other
officers who have charge of these great
properties should be accorded the same
opportunity to be heard as the manufactur
ing Industries. So far as I can 1-arn. there
no desire on the part of railway man
agers to generally raise rates. There Is,
however, a widespread belief that rock
bottom prices have been reached, and
that anything, even the merest shade lower,
will be absolutely ruinous.
The case against the railways Is a fa
miliar one. Those who realize these new
conditions have no excuses or apologies
for past mismanagement, nor for that
methods by which some of these road
were built. Whatever may be said of thoao
who built railways far in advance of popu
lation, or for purposes other than legiti
mate trade, we have, on the other hand.
equally to blame, the cities and towns
and counties ana inamauaii wno were
ready to mortgage the future to help along
the work. In a large measure the wind
and the water and the fraud have been
squeezed out of these properties. In their
place new and honestly-acquired capital
In the shape of enforced loans from bond
holders and forced assessment of stock
holders has been Invested. Foreclosures,
the sheriff and the courts have wiped out
much of the Inflated values and new capi
tal with reorganization for business pur
poses has followed. Surely no one will
deny that the consolidation and changes,
say of the last decade, have been bene
ficial There Is more uniform action than
ever before. Better business principles pre
vail. The public have never been so well
and so cheaply served as now. Consider
ing the hard times, the discharges, the
reduced time, there has never existed bet
ter feeling between the railway employe
and the officers than at present. The los
of $100,000,000 income In five years must
have been a staggering blow. A continu
ation of this sort or thing would simply
destroy much of our wealth and arrest the
progress of the republic-
Liszt was the most wonderful pianist
In musical history. He had prodigious
strength of arm and wrist, which en
abled him to achieve astounding results,
but his delicacy of touch was very re
markable. When learning the piano he
was often known to practice from 14 to
Id hours a day.
Perfectly straight plaits down the
fronts of dress waists are becoming to
but very few people. There Is always
much more satisfactory effect if the
plait Is slightly gathered or drawn in.
It narrows the front and makes mors
An Hypothesis. "Papa, why doI
the sun go south in the winter?" "Ob,,
I suppose he can afford to." Detroit'
The Blond "I wonder if I shall ever
live to be 100?" The Brunette "Not it
you remain 22 much longer." Tit
Bits. Laura (showing- her album to a
friend) "Isn't it Btrange that our old
est pictures always make us seem the
youngest!" Fliegrude Blatter.
"Father caught you smoking on
of his cigars did he? And what did ha
do lick you?" "Xo; wish he bad."
"What then?" "Made me smoke it
right through." Fun.
"It," said the grinning savage, as
he turned the machine gun on the dis
comfited Christian civilizers, "is a poor
Maxim that won't work both ways."
"Folks nebber is saterfied," said
Uncle Eben. "Er white young lady is
alius tryin ter git frizzes in her hair
an de cullud young lady is alius tryin
ter git 'em out." Washington Star.
Ominous. "My wife never said a
word about a new seal sack this win
ter." "I suppose you rejoice at that.
"Not much. I'm afraid she's figuring
on getting a new '97 model wheel."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Put to the Test. Mrs. Peck (dur
ing the breeze) "Before we were mar
ried you said vou would die for me,"
Henry Peck "Well; and if I did?"
Mrs. Peck "You might do so now."
Philadelphia North American.
"What is your brother Reginald do
ing since he left college?" "Why, just
at present he is very busy tracing back
our family tree." "Goodness me! Then-
he s got that Darwinian theory into his
head, has he?" Truth.
BEAR RAISED BY A GOAT.
When the Cab Grew Up It Became a
The bear that figures in the story was
known as Jack, and he belonged to
Lewis Ford, who formerly owned a goat
ranch high up on the Cerro Colorado
mountain, overlooking the lovely valley
of the San Joaquin.
Ford found the bear when tt was a
cub, soft, round, shining and black.
Being wifeless, childless and alone, he
adopted the tiny cub, and carried it
home. Once there, Ford soon found
that a foster mother must be provided
for the infant, and so a frightened,
trembling, bleating she goat was
brought to the bouse- to take the place
of the parent he so missed. It was only
after much combined force and per
suasion the goat could be induced to
adopt as her own the unkidlike orphan
placed in her care. But the time cams -when
foster mother and foster child
were as happy and content in their re
lations to each other as if the sight of
a nimble-footed, blue-haired "nanny"
suckling a clumsy black bear cub was
of the most ordinary condition of af
The bear, which was named Jack,
waxed fat on goat's milk; and a mors
docile, tractable beast never grew up
under the guardianship of a humane
and loving master. In the earlier days
of his adoption the baby was a baby in
truth. He would not be left alcne.
And it would have been a harder heart
than Ford's that could have resisted the
pitiful whimper of the little fellow
whenever he thought that he was to be
left alone within the house. Had there
been any to see it in those days they
would have witnessed a strange sight.
The great, broad-shouldered man fol
lowing his flock as they grazed on the
bunchgrass sometimes five or six
miles from home and as he walked the
steep mountain-side where it waa so
almost perpendicular that it seemed
that only the goats themselves could
gain a foothold on the rocks he earned
the cub in his arms.
But when Jack grew older he was
trained to herd the goats. Previously
a number of dogs had helped Ford, but
the bear and the dogs could not agree,
and go the dogs had to go. Jack took
their place well, and they were never
massed. For several years the bear
continued to help Ford, until the latter
sold his ranch and prepared to go to
his old home in Europe. Then a num
ber of his neighbors tried to buy the
bear. Ford refused to sell him, and
raid that if he could not take Jack with
him he would not go. The difficulty
about shipping the bear was overcome,
and now he and his master are living
contentedly in the old country, enjoy
ing the fruits of their long, lonesome
stay in the California mountains. Sao
Utilization of Refuse.
Buda-Pesth, one of the most progres-
jive cities on the European continent,
owes not a little of its prosperity to the
strict enforcement of its sanitary rules.
The city requires among other things
that refuse be removed to the suburbs
in closed carts. The wagons are con
veyed by horses to one of the suburbs,
where they are lifted off the truck and
put on a flat car by means of a travel
ing crane. This flat car is taken out
a considerable distance by a steam lo
comotive and lands the refuse near a
manufacturing establishment, where
: is mechanically assorted and the mors
volatile material burned under a boiler,
which supplies 50 horse power to an
engine, to which, a 3,000-volt, three
phase generator is directly coupled.
the electric current thus generated
is utilized to run the crane above men-
ioned and is transmitted to that point
by means of two regular trolley wires.
with the earth as a third circuit. The
machinery in this station runs several
other powercircuits and furnishes light
to the entire colony. Another 100 horse
power engine wil be installed shortly
He (at the athletic games) I wonder
who gave him the impression that he Is
She I think my father did. Ha
called on me once, and he certainly out
classed papa. -Town Topics.