Newspaper Page Text
II. II. AD.IMS rllis!iT.
-At last, O Joy, sweet spring Is here.
Though keen and cold Is still the wind,
-And all the earth lies bleak and drear.
And Icy bocds the streams still bind.
The scent of buds and coming flowers
Is in the air, and fills my heart.
-And soon the woods and leafy bowers
Will in new life and beauty start.
Trom yonder hedge, first of his clan,
A bird begins his song to sing,
.As though he would do all he can
To welcome back the sweet new spring.
That spring Is here scarce need be told.
And soon the trees will all be green.
And nature, robed In green and gold.
Stand out In all her glorious sheen.
T"or from the sere leaves at my feet
A modest violet lifts Its head.
And with a fragrance passing sweet
It warns me heed well where I tread.
And here, too, at my feet, I see
A daffodil with golden bell.
A though about to ring with, glee
The gladsome news it comes to tell.
And earth, so long In slumber deep,
Stirs dreamily, as If to wake
From Its protracted, frozen sleep.
And from its icy bondage break.
And soon the newly wakened power
Will in each bush arwi tree be stirred.
And throb in every charming flower.
And In the song note of each bird.
So lessons sweet and full of grace
Life's darkest hours will surely bring:
Some flower of hope will show its face.
Some bird of promise sweetly sing.
-William G. Haeselbarth, In Christian
Jv AX EVIL MOMENT.
BY EMMA C. IIKYVITT.
The editor sat in his iranctum. a
heavy frown upon his brow, his blue
pencil in hand, rapidly scoring' here
and there with a muttered curse, first
for the stupidity or typos, anon for the
stuff sent i" by would-be contributors,
whose position and influence made con
cii.ation necessary. His annoyance was
increased by the irritating conscious
ness that a messenger boy was wailing
at his elbow, and had been so waiting1
in stolid silence for some time. Three
frhojt, sharp whistles at the tube di
rectly liehind him!
'See what's wanted!" commanded
the magnate, never liftm? his eyes and
giving a specialty heavy olue line to
ar. obnoxious word. But the command
met with no re.Son.se. The silent fig-
tire at his side never moved. "Why
lout you answer the tube, you idiot?"
he exclaimed, furiously, as the three
vhi.stics came again, short, sharp, im
j;atient. Then his pencil dropped from
liis lingers and rolled unheeded to the
tfior. Beside him, mute nud motion
less, stood one of Iiapliael's cherubs!
Xo wings had he, to be sure, and
more clothes, but one of Iiaphael's
clK-rubs all t he same. The same cherub's
face the same golden aureoie! The
baby-blue eyes looked into his with a
mixture of sadness and pleading which
moved the stern heart strangely.
Again the whistle sounded. Without
a word he answered it himself, creating
wonderment below, not to say conster
nation, by the announcement that he
was busy, adding with a vigor of lan
grage well known in those realms, that
tinyone who disturbed him within the
next 13 minutes might draw his salary
to ilate and get out! Winston "busy"
in; the presses wailing for him! Fif
teen minutes' valuable time lost! The
foreman passed the word along with a
hriig the typos swore, but it made
not a whit of difference. The autocrat
had sent forth his fiat, and if fire had
Iven discovered issuing from the sanc
tum, it is to be doubted that anyone
would have had the temerity to knock
en the door before the allotted time had
".Vow, how did you get up here, and
what do you want?" he demanded more
gcn'.ly of the little creature beside him.
'Don't you know that editors are very
busy men. and not to lie disturbed in
In accounting to himself afterwards
for his extraordinary attitude upon this
cetMsion, his only excuse for not pitch
ing the child out summarily was the
runcuibrance of a tiny grave upon a
Xew England hillside where slept a lit
tle brother of 30 years before.
"I came p myself. Xobody saw me."
nswered the child, in a plaintive voice
that had something unchildlikc in its
ri'ig. "Please, do you buy poetry?"
4i::d he brought from behind him a baby
like hand in which was closely clasped
a sheet of note paper.
If he had announced himself as a
dealer in diamonds, Winston could not
liave been more taken aback.
"Why? Are you a poet?" he asked,
a mixture of astonishment and amuse
ment on his countenance.
"Xo, but Sister Marie writes poetry,
and she's sick, and there's only two of
us, and she's sick, you know I told
you that and I thought maybe may
be I could get some money "
"Let me see what you have there,"
replied Winston, abruptly.
The idea of the sick girl lying at
Icir.e there, and this scrap of a child out
"trying to sell her poetry seemed to him
monstrous thing. Xo doubt it was the
worst kind of rubbish! It was folly to
en look at it. But the whole strange
ness of the situation had a sort of fas
cination for him. The child grew red
and. white by tarns as he gazed at the
countenance of the man who held his
fate in his hands.
"Boy, your sister is a genius! ex
claimed the great man, as he rapidly
scanned the lines.
"I don't know just what that is," an
swered the cbarob, modestly, "but I feel
aure it must be something very nice, or
you wouldn't look so so
Wnat a funny, old-fashioned little
body it was, to be sure.
"This shall go in at once," went on
the magnate, "and I will see what I can
do further. We don't pay much for
poetry ordinarily, but this id worth it.
Give your sister this from me and tell
her to come and see me on Saturday at
"Oh. thank you, sir." and the baby's
eves oroppei modestly as he tightly
clutched the piece of gold put into hi
palm. And then he heaved a deep-
drawn sigh of relief, joy what? and
turned and left the room. Only when
the child was entirely out of sight did
Winston realize that he had neglected
to obtain the name and address of the
new genius he had discovered. He
turned the poem to the light, but with
no success. L pon t he back of the doubl
sueet, however, was a sketchy head
drawn faintly in pencil. The lines were
bad and the drawing crude in every
way, but the sketch was evidently in
tended for the cherub who had just
visited him. In one corner was th
artist's name, "Marie Wendall." Jot
ting it down in his note book and pass
ing his hand over his forehead and eyes.
as though to erase all outside impres
sions, the great editor was no longer a
man; he was once more a machine
With relief the waiting pressmen and
typos heard his whistle below and they
knew that whatever "fit had took him.'
as the "devil" expressed it, the autocrat
was ready for work once more. But
they looked at each other aghast when
the message cameoverthetube:
"Take out that article on the coal re
gions I sent down half an hour ago an
set this poetry instead."
Surely, "the old man had gone off his
"That form's locked up and just go
ing to press," the foreman ventured to
J.last the form: Do as I sav: came
"But it'll tue " Came again from
"Do it if it takes all night! Who
owns this paper, anyway?" roared Wins
ton, and shut the tube with a snap to
denote that as far as he was concerned.
the interview was over.
Something had disturbed him more
t'-an usual. Perhaps it was the memory
of the little mound on the hillside per
haps it was something indefinite an
impression too vague to be classified.
Whatever it was, in half an hour,
Winston declared himself through,
methodically tucked his blue pencil into
its accustomed slot, locked his desk, be
took himself to his club for dinner,
When he read over the poetry in the
great daily the next morning, there
was a something which arrested his at
tention. A scene, a memory came to h
mind, but it was too elusive for him
to spend any time in trying to catch it.
So lie dismissed it from his thoughts.
A distinct shock received an hour or
two later recalled it all, and too forcibly.
This shock came in the shape of a note
from a fellow-editor:
"What are you giving ns, anyway
wrote he. "You must have been short
of copy indeed, to try to pa! in off on
your readers that old poem of Tenny
son's as new matter! '.Marie Wendall,'
too. Of all the colossal nerve! I think
it might be called the 'Great Ameri
Tennvson's! Xo wonder there had
been a familiar ring to the lines! Why
had he skimmed over them so hastily?
Why had he thrown caution to the
winds? Why. oh, why had he made
such an ass of himself that all who ran
might read? He turned sick and white
at the thought of all it meant this fear
ful blunder! If lie only could hoe
that the casual reader would not dis
Any such hope as this was dashed
ruthlessly to the ground during the
next few hours, letters there were
from all directions jeering they were,
angry, remonstrant, everything but
sympathetic. The world likes to be
humbugged, but it does not want the
fraud to be a palpable one like this.
And the readers of the great daily did
not hesitate to say so in most uncom
Wild with anger and mortification,
and w ith imprecations deep if not loud,
the great editor set himself to find the
woman who had served him such a
"It is only another evidence of the
utter deceit of the whole sex," he said
10 himself bitterly. "The trail of the
serpent is over them all!"
Without any address or other clew to
i her whereabouts, to find the unknown
was no easy task. The simplest solu
tion of the ditliculty would seem to be
to wait until Saturday at three o'clock,
but he knew very well that she would
not put in on appearance. She was too
sharp for that. She had the money,
and that was all she wanted.
With a grim smile that boded no good
to that young woman, he started out to
find the author of his woes. And by
subtle but legitimate means, means
that no other man would have thought
of, John Winston tracked her at last.
"This is Miss Wendall?" inquired he,
with most elaborate courtesy of the
little lady in black who answered his
She bowed her head with a surprised
expression that would ask his mission.
"You write poetry, I believe?" he
questioned again, with sarcastic defer
ence. She gently shook her head and mur
mured a negative, with deeper wonder
on her face, to which was added a shade
of fear. She thought her visitor must
be a lunatic.
"I am Mr. John Winston, editor of the
Daily Astonisher," said Mr. Winston,
Impressively, playing his trump card
and expecting to see his listener con
victed through her own confusion.
Instead of, being crushed, she only
"Yes?" and bowed politely, waiting
with interest to know what might fol
low this important piece of informa
tion. Other than this, there was not
the quiver of an eyelash that shaded
the blue eyes raised to his, eyes so like
those of the cherub that the relation
ship was unmistakable.
"You have never written any poetry?"
"So. Why do you ask?"
"You have received no message from
me?" he asked again, waiving her ques
tion. "Xo! Message from you? Why should
you send me a message?" '
"Tell me have you been sick?"
She drew herself up haughtily. This
was too much.
"I cannot see," she said, "that it is
of the slightest consequence to you,
sir, in any way; but I have not been
sick. And now, sir, if you are not a
lunatic, you are a most impertinent man,
and if you do not leave this house at
once, I will call an officer to remove
He! John Winston! threatened by
this mite of womanhood with being put
out by an officer! The idea, was so ab
surd that he laughed aloud, thus fur
nishing his listener with most convinc
ing proof of his insanity. She went to
the pull to ring the bell, but Winston
grew grave again in a moment.
"Miss Wendall please!" he ex
claimed. "Let me tell you all about
this. I am neither insane nor imperti
nent, bnt very much perplexed. Listen
to me for three minutes. It is all I
When he reached the conclusion, she
looked up with quivering lips and tear
"Oh, sir! it is that dreadful boy! 1
think he w ill kill me. This is the worst
thing he has done yet!"
"He may have done this innocently,"
suggested Winston, kindly. "A boy
"Xo, I know what you would say:
'A boy with a face like that couldn't
dc such a thing wickedly. But he could,
he can! That boy is capable of any
thing! He has a face like a cherub, but
he acts like a demon. Why, one day I
citine home and found him a few streets
off, dressed like a beggar, his face cov
ered with dirt and with an old tin cup
in ii is hand, collecting pennies from
passers-by for his siek sister! I'm surs
I don't know what he does with his
money, but I know that I will not let
him have any more than allowance
which I think is enough for a boy of
his age. When I refuse, he manages in
some wav to obtain it. i;ut this is the
tcry worst. He didn't do it innocently,
for he read aloud to me while I copied I
those lines." .
You see," she went on. a moment !
later, "we were only half-brother and
sister. His mother was we were not
altogether happy after pa died."
"Poor child! I should imagine not.
said Winston, to himself, "if the son's
charming characteristics are a direct in
heritance from the mother."
But I promised my step-mother I
would look after Harold. I can't help
t.hinking he needs a man's hand over
him," and she finished with a sigh.
I should say so," answ ered John Win
ston, prinilv, and as though he would
like to be that man who should have the
shaping of that young gentleman's fu
ture career. An inspiration came.
Miss Wendall," said he, earnestly,'!
feel sorry for you. and the charge which
is laid upon shoulders too young to bear
it. I may be able to serve you in one way.
Ray nothing to this degenerate young
man, but bring him to the downtown
oflice next Saturday afternoon he will
not suspect me of being there and I
will give him such a talking to as will
cause that golden aureole or nis to
shrivel up to a crisp. We will see what
can be (lone with him."
"Oh, sir, I'm sure I'm grateful to you!"
"Xot at all, not at all!" replied Win
ston, gruffly, but with a twinkle in his
eye. "I'm bound to have my revenge
out of somebody, and he seems to me the
most appropriate one."
Just w hat passed between the cherub
and the great editor no one ever knew
but the cherub, the cherub's siste and
the great editor himself, but the young
gentleman came out of the interview a
wiser if a sadder boy.
nd the editor married Miss Wen
dall? Oh. no. he didn't at least, not
vet. Ladies' World.
DEBT OF THE WORLD.
The ObllBHtlonn of Many Nations In-
Whether it lie a good or a bad thing
for the nations, there is no room
to doubt that the debts of the
world are growing f-teadily. In
S75 it was computed that they
tood at 4.750,000,000, as compared
with a round 4.200.000,000 two years
earlier. On the basis of figures, many
of which have been obtained by us at
first hand, and are likely on that ac
count to be more accurate than some of
the- wild guesses to which certain irre-
ponsible statisticians have treated ns,
we ourselves estimate that the indebted
ness of the world to-day stands at
As probably every one knows France
has the doubtful distinction of being
the country which has the largest
ebt. The latest figures put the total
t something like 1.200,000,000, which
is nearly double the debt 060,000,000
of Great Britain, which ranks as sec
ond on the list. Russia follows, with a
total of 575,000,000, and insignificant
Italy comes fourth with 506,000,000
that is, if we count as separate items
the joint debts of Austria-Hungary and
the individual debts of the two portions
of the nation. The joint debt stood in
1S95 at 275,990,000; while the debt of
Austria alone was 122.678,600, and
that of Hungary alone 207,729,000. or
606.397,600 in all. The United States
debt amounts to 339,000,000, and that
of Spain exclusive of the more revent
loans in the prosecution of the war in
Cuba at 279,000,000. Philadelphia
"And you have the assurance to tell
me that you discharged your laundress
because of her belief in divided skirts?
A new woman like you?"
"You didn't let me finish. I was go
ing to explain that she had an idea tha
it was. the proper thing to divide my
supply of skirts between herself ud
her 18-year-old daughter."
"Ohl" Indianapolis Journal.
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
The Airmenian relief committee of
Chicago recently forwarded to Turkey
The Young Woman's Christian as
sociation has taken up missionary train
ing as a pari of their work for the year.
By a vote of 1G1 to 77 the League of
American Wheelmen in annual conven
tion at fJochester. I. Y., recently de
cided against Sunday racing.
Virginia has just enacted a law
making it a misdemeanor to sell in
toxicants to anj- student of an educa
tional institution in that state.
Peoria's magnificent new library
building, costing $63,000, a gift from
the Mercantile Library association, was
formally opened recently for public
J. D. Rockefeller has promised to
contribute $250,000 toward paying off
Ihe total indebtedness of $486,000 rest
ingnipon the Baptist Foreign and Home
The committee of Harvard profes
sors and graduates to which was in
trusd the task of suggesting an ap
propriate memorial of the late Prof.
Child has decided- that it shall take the
form of a library for the English de
partment of the university.
The school children of Xew Orleans
are raising a fund of $G,000 to erect a
monument to John MeDonough. who
bequeathed more than $1,000,000 to
Xew Orleans for educational purposes.
The gift has resulted in the erection of
more than 30 public school buildings, in
which 13,000 children are at present en
rolled. IN NEW YORK SOCIETY.
One tlenr the Coat of Everj thine
'onnlan tly Dlacuaaed.
"There is one pronounced bnrgeoise
trait that strikes me very disagreeably
in American society," remarked a for
eigner of distinction, "and that is the
constant, allusion that is made to the
cost of everything. It never seems suf
ficient to praise an entertainment, a
dress, a picture, a jewel for itself its
money s worth is sure to be mentioned
and it is that alone which seems to give
it value in the eyes of this eminently
commercial nation. Perhaps we. on the
other side of the Atlantic, are quite as
mercenary in reality, but. it is not con
sidered good form to show it so openly.
"In other respects I find American
smart fociety quite cosmopolitan, dif
fering very little from the correspond
ing sets in London and I'aris; but this
everlasting talk of what everything is
worth, from a beautiful woman dawn to
sr.me article of attire, is most weari
some! "I went, to a. large, function called a
dinner-dance the other evening and it
would have le n delightful if it had not
been for the constant talk about money.
My host told me the cost of hischef and
his wines, and all but the very food I
was eating. My hostess enlightened me
as to the prolxible cost of many of the
gowns worn by the women w ho were
present and the estimated value of the
different jewels. Even the daughters
compared the prices of their pretty
fresh toilets with those of thoir friends.
"It is very curious that Americans do
not see:a conscious of this pecularity,
so very apparent to outsiders. It is es
sentially bad form."
This habit of discussing- prices is
much more noticeable in. Xew York than
anywhere else and has been frequently
remarked upon by Tisitors from other
cities. It seems odd that a society so
charming in other respects and so up-to-
date should commit the solecism of
bringing- an atmosphere of trade intc
thedraw ing-room. X. Y. Tribune.
The Locomotive vlhlatle.
The locomotive whistle was invented
oeca use- of the dest ruction of a load of
eggs. When the country roads were for
t he most jMirt crossed at grade the en
gine driver had no way of giving warn
ing of his approach except by blowing
a tin horn. The horn was far. from
bring a sufficient warning. One day in
the year 1S33 a farmer was crossing the
railroad track on one of the country
roads with a great load of eggs an-1
butter. Just as he came out upon the
track a train approached. The engine
man blewhishora lustily, but the farm
er lid not hear it. L:glity dozen of
eggs and 50 pounds of butter were i
smashed into an indistinguishable mass.
The railway company had to pay the
farmer the value of his butter, eggs,
horse and wagon. A director "of the
company. Ashland Baxter by name,
went to Alton Grange, where George
Stephenson lived, to see if he could not
invent something that would give a
warning more likely to be heard. Ste
phenson went to work, and the next day
had a contrivance which, when attached
to the engine boiler and. the steam
turned on, gave out a shrill, discordant
sound. The railroad directors, greatly
delighted, ordered similar contrivances
attached to all the locomotives. This
ha.s developed into the locomotive
whistle as we now know it. Chicago
Old Party Why are you crying, my
The Little Man Please, sir, 1 1 lost
tc me ball.
"Well, well, don't cry. Here's six
pence to get another. Now tell me
where you lost it.
"Please, sir, troo de front window of
wr house, sir. Pearson's Weekly.
A Reasonable Conjectare.
Mrs. Shallow What a queer name for
i fish "smelt." I wonder where they
Mr. Shallow I. can't sav for a cer
'tamty, bnt I think they are of German
origin and come from the Oder. Boston
"Behold," exclaimed the good fairy,
'I touch thee w ith my wand and trans
form the from beggar to prince." Sub
sequently, however, his beloved touched
him without any wand and made him
a bersnrasrain. Detroit Journal.
THE SICK BED.
ale Easentlals to the Comfort of the
In arranging the sick bed the two es
sential things to be thought of are the
comfort of the patient and, after that,
the convenience of the nurse.
The bedstead should be firm, light and
simple. If it is firm, it cannot be easily
jarred; if it is light, it can be easily
moved ; and if it is simple, it can be eas
ily kept clean. All these requirements
are met in the plain iron bedstead
which has the additional advantage that
its width and heighth are adapted both
to the needs of the patient and the con
venience of the nurse.
If the bedstead is light, it is better to
have only the head-end provided with
castors, otherwise the bed will move
too easily. By lifting the foot end off
the floor the bed Can be moved and
guided without causing the patient the
The mattress should be sufficiently
soft and yielding to be perfectly com
ioriaoie tor ine patient, out not so
yielding as to allow his body to sink into
it. It is very d ifficult to make a sick per
son comfortable on a saggy mattress.
Feather beds should never be used in
cases of sickness. They are uncomfor
table for the patient, it is impossible to
keep them clean, almost of necessity
they keep the patient's body unneces
sarily warm and they are extremely in
convenient for the nurse.
To prevent the mattress from becom
ing soiled, a good-sized piece of water
proof material preferably a rubber
blanket should be smoothly spread
over it before the under sheet is put on.
This sheet should be large enough to be
securely tucked under the edges of the
mattress, and the greatest care should
be taKen to smooth out all the creases.
1 he pillows should be thoroughly
aired at least once a day. and whenever
the piilow slip becomes soiled.'or damp
w ith perspiration, a clean one should be
substituted. Changing and shaking up
the pillows when they have become
hard and mussed is a small service, but
very refreshing to the patient.
The covering for the siek bed other
than the top sheet should vary ac
cording to the temperature of the room,
the nature of the sickness, the feelings
of the patient and the season of the vear.
Whatever these conditions, the covering
should lie as light as is consistent with
the comfort of the patient. Youth's
PILOT FOR AN EMERGENCY.
Telia Examiner What He Would Do
In a TlKht Fix.
There was a party aboard the boat
and the members were telling stories
about chil service reform. Everybody
had told of some prejiosterous ques
tions excepting the old salt at the
wheel. He had puffed his clay pipe
in silence and listened. There was a
moment or two of quiet after the last
story, and the old salt spoke up. "Xever
he-erd o civil service regardin' th'
pilotiu' business, didja?" he demanded.
"Xever did," sa!U two or three of the
"Well, we got it," said the old salt;
"got it bad, too. You fellers been talk
in' about fool questions, what d'ja think
o this here one thnt was asked me when
I war up t' pass? They says t me, they
says: '.Vow, assume there war a fog
thicker'n any fog there ever was,' they
says; ' n supposin you war in com
mand, 'n' you suddint he-erd a whistle
dead ahead,' they says, 'n then,' they
says, 'you he-erd a whistle on your port
bow 'n' thenyou he-erd a whistle on
your scabbard bow, 'n then you he-erd
a whistle on your port quarter 'n' then
you he-erd a whistie on your stabbord
quarter n then you he-erd a whistle
dead astern,' they says, ' n you could't
see nothin", what wouldja do?' they
The old s.i it puffed at nis pipe and
pave the wheel a couple of twists.
Everybody was silent. The old salt
puffed a full minute before. he said a
word. Then he asked:
"D'ye know what I said to "em?" ne
took two more puffs and made some
remarks about the wind and the pos
sibility of reaching the city in two
hours. Finally he asked again: "D'ye
know- what I said to 'em?"
"What did you say?" asked one man.
"I says to 'em," said the old salt;
"I says to 'em, 'I'd go below,' I says,
'n cuss, I says, '"cause I don't think
I could do nothin' better under them
circumstances, I says, n d'ye know
they marked me a hundred fur that
answer t' thnt there fool question.
That's what they done. They says
that's the only thing a sensible man
could do under the circumstances, they
says." X. Y. Sun.
Boil slowly for 20 minutes six eggs.
Remove the shells and cu"t the eggs into
slices and put them on a dish at one
side of the chafing dish. In the dish
put one tablespocnful of butter and one
of flour rubbed together, a gill of stock
and one of milk, a tablespoonful of
chopped parsley, half a teaspoonf ul of
salt, quarter teaspoonful of pepper.
When ready to serve light the lamp,
stir until the sauos thickens, add eggs,
and when steaming serve. St. Louis
It is not generally known that where
it is not desirable to use patent polish
or old-fashioned blacking on fine shoes
they can be wonderfully freshened with
new milk. The milk should be lightly
applied with a sponge and then al
lowed to dry, after which the shoe
should be well polished with a flannel
cloth. This is meant only for black
kid, not for tan or russet shoes. Chi
Two cupf uls 4l powdered sugar, one
cupful of butter, one cupful of sweet
milk and four eggs, the yolks and whites
beaten separately; 2 cupfuls of flour,
half a cupful of cornstarch, two tea
spoonfuls of baking powder, half a tea
spoonful of mace. Bake in small moldfl
and ice all over. X. Y. Ledger.
Nothing- makes come women feci
no Important as to undergo treatment
for a disease with a long- name. Atchi
"He "I love you better than my
life." She "Considering the life you
lead, I cannot say that I am surprised.
By two o'clock every day people
have made so many blunders that they
long for to-morrow that they may start
all over again. Atchison Globe.
"Young man," said the minister,
solemnly, "why do you postpone your
reformation?" "Oh, it's never too late
to mend, replied the youth. X. Y.
Mother "How is it that you get so
many bad marks at school?" Little
Johnny "Well, the teacher has got to
mark somebody, or else folks will think
she is not attending to her business."
Wouldn't Stand Alone. "They tell
me Van Wither is very weak since his
last sickness." "He is. I saw him oa
the street just now and asked him for a,
Aver; but he couldn't stand a loan."
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Englishman (in British museum)
"This book, sir, was once owned by
Cicero." American Tourist "Pshaw 1
That's nothing. Why, in, one of our
American museums we have the lead
pencil that Xoah used to check off the
animals as they came out of the ark.
Inopportune. Proprietor of Ton-
Ffjrial Parlors "See here, when that
fir. Xorox comes here again to get
shaved, before you commence on him
just mention to him that we have gone
over to the cash system." Subordinate
Artist "Oh, Lord! I did the last tune
he was here and his face got so long that
I didn't get through by closing time.
THE CZAR'S FRIGHT.
Canned by Precautions Taken for Hla
While Xicholas II. was traveling re
cently from St. Petersburg to one of the
iranerial residences called Czars vil
lage he observed in his salon carriage
an electric button which he had never
before noticed. "What is it for?" he
asked his aid-de-camp.
"If your majesty will be pleased to
press the button the train will come to
an instantaneous standstill. It is a aan
"I should like to see it work," saia
Xicholas, musingly, and following his
inclination placed his index finger hard
upon the knob. The train stopped and
a dozen officials rushed into tne car
riage with pale faces and trembling
hand and foot. A danger signal from
an imperial carriage salon excites no
end of ugly reminiscences in Eussiar
or any other country, for that matter.
The czar left his carnage and walkeo
out into the morning air.
"Let's proceed along the track for
half an hour or so," said his majesty to
the aid-de-camp. "The train can wait.
Arm in arm they marched, whue the
much-craved-for feeling of safety took
hold of Xicholas' head and heart. Sud
denly turning on his heel the emperor
proceeded sideways toward the field.
There was at a distance of a few hun
dred feet a peasant's hut which he de
sired to inspect. Walking briskly
toward the hovel, Xicholas overheard a
shout of "Halt!" uttered by somebody
lying in ambush. "Haiti or I will
Xicholas stood still as if suddenly
stricken with palsy, while the aid placed
himself in front of his trembling mas
'It Is only the guard drawn up along
the railway tracks as far as the im
perial train travels," he said by way of
explanation. "Knowing your majesty'"
aversion to military display, the troops
were ordered to lie down on the ground
when the imperial train hove :n sight.
The czar easily regained his com
posure. These boys nave turnea out
to protect me." he said. "They shall re
member this day."
Then he called the officers before the
front and gave each one some trinket
as a keepsake, denuding his breast of
decorations and his pockets of jewelry,
cigar cutter, knife, card case and other
trinkets. X. Y. Journal.
Growth of Cities.
The fact that the big European cit
ies have been growing much faster thani
those of the United States is pointed,
out by Dr. Albert Shaw in his recent
book on municipal government in Eu
rope. In 1S70 Xew York had 15),000l
more people than Berlin; in 1SS0 Ber
lin had outstripped Xew York, and it
still maintains its lead. In 1875 Ham
burg had 3 18,000 people and Boston 342,
PC0; in 1S90 Hamburg had 569,260 and"
Boston 448,000. Baltimore was once
as big as Hamburg, but it has long been,
distanced. Leipzig has grown from
127,000 in 1S75 to 350,000 in 1S90, and has
distanced San Francisco. Breslauuaedt
to be smaller than Cincinnati; it has
liow distanced it. Cleveland and Buf
falo and Pitsburgh were all in 1880 big
ger than Cologne, but Cologne was
much the bigger in 1890. Dreadon fat
growing more quickly than Xew Or
leans. Hanover, though a sleepy place,
is growing as quickly as Louisville OS
Jerecy City. Cincinnati Enquirer.
An Vafeellaa- Jadge.
"You are charged Tvith.carryingjt
"It is all a mistake, your honor. Yon
see, I had a pair of old pistols that X
shoved into my pocket to illustrate at
very clever pun I recently worked ap
I get the boys to talking about bal
loons, end then I say my life was oncet
saved by parachute! When they g1ve
zne the laugh I drarer out the old pistol
pair-o'-shoots, see! Ha, ha, ha!"
"Did you invent that?"
"Yes, your honor."
Thirty days." Cleveland Leader.
A Decided Mlsfortnne.
Smith I suppose JonesTwas vexei
when his wife left) him.
Brown I guess he was; why, be
JtiBtfcive.il her! $100 the day before. L'p