Newspaper Page Text
DEMOCRAT PRINTING 60., PuDliSHers.
CAPE GIRARDEAU, MISSOURI, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1897.
Vol. XXII No 32
We Have Them Here In Cape Ulrar
- dean and They Have Them Every
where. Cape Girardeau, as well a9 other
cities and towns in the country ,has its
kids who make a habit of chasing ou
after every little girl in town or coun
try whose petticoats reaeh below their
knees, with the purpose of inflicting
matrimeny upon some poor victim.
A raw boy with a dollar present or
prospective, sparking a girl regularly
and' talking about marrying, is a spec
tacle for gods and man. He should
be reasoned with and if br will not
quit it until he is able to support a
wife, and to know who be loves, and
knows the difference between love and
chicken-pox, be saookl be quaran
tined against or put in an institution
greeted purposely for such cases.
Nine-tenths of the anhappy marriages
are the result of green human calves
being allowed to run at large in the
society pasture without yokes ou.
They marry and hae children before
tbey have moir.sta.ches they are fath
ers of twins before -tiiey are propriet
ors of two pairs of pants, and the
little girls tiw;y marry are old womer.
before they a-re twoaty.
Occasionally ona of these gxasling
marriages turns out all right, but it
is a clear case 'Of luck. If tbare -was
a law against .galoots courting and
marrying before they cut tielr o;t;
teeth we uppotie the little -cusses
would evde it in some way but there
ought to be a war against it. -It is
time enigh for these bantams to
think of .finding a pullet when ftkey
have raised enoegh by their ownwrk
to buy a bundle of laths to buildhen
Let ciety .ive these kids .a set
back. They as too fresk Jar Sfaeir
experience in life.
.II fw UnpleaaaaU
it is t'j see .a beautiful child's face
disfigured with vile humors, bursting
hromdi the skin in pimples, .blotches,
and sres, and sadder still, .when the
young and innocent are laujrbed at
and twitted in .-ill such causes. Parents
HhouW give tbem that good and pure
reniedr. Sulphur Bitters, which will
search and drive out of the blood
every jiartiute of humor. Health
This I.lttle World.
This terrestrial globe will be scarce
ly large enough for a foot ball if it
keepr on -shrinking at il -reeest rate.
A fortnight ago Stanley Africanus
rode in a.palao; car toBuluwayo, and
the iv.ils will soon penetrate the re-
mout regKins wnere vr.iy -a imio
while ago hi' ought and cut his way
through foreels and savages. A Vic
toria (B. C., telegram within a day
or twi reported the arrival there of a
party of Rin-.sian engineers -who say
the railway journey from St. Peters
burg to Vladivostok now requires ten
days fir so. When the ferry from
Vladivostok .to Seattle or 'Frisco
starts, people will begin touting the
globe in their summer holiday. For
a side trip the excursion agents will,
of course, offer a jauntto Dawson and
the Klondike .upon the new guaranteed
schedule of twenty days. The polar
circles are now about the only .regions
where a man .who wants elbow room
can retreat without having himself in
truded upon by globe-trotters, or
Nimrods seeking the vanishing giraffe
or other big game whose very scarcity
attests the verity of this present thesis.
Perhaps an exception should be taken
to Patagonia, where, if we mistake
not, a party of valorous Princeton
ians promenaded weeks together with
out seeing a human creature, and L'ked
the experience so much that they are
returning to stay longer. It is to lie
hoped that they will hasten, for as
suredly they can delay only at the
risk of having their arrival greeted by
the whistles of steamships and loco
motives. When that happens in Pata
gonia, Cowper's inspiration.
Oh, for a lodge in some vast wilderness,
Soiul- boundless contiguity of shade,
will liecome forever a barren ideality
and a poets dream. New York Times.
The Coining Woman
Who goes to the club while her hus
band tends the baby, as well as the
good old-fashioned woman who lcoks
after her home, will both at times get
run down in health. They will be
troubled with loss of appetite, head
ftches, sleeplessness, fainting or dizzy
spells. The most wonderful remedy
for these women is Electric Bitters.
Thousands of sufferers from Lame
Back and Weak Kidney's rise up and
call it blessed. It is the medicine for
women. Female complaints and Nerv
ous troubles of all kinds are soon re
. lieved by the use of Electric Bitters.
Delicate women should keep this
remedy on hand to build up the system
Only 50c per bottle. For sale by W.
C Hainan and all Drug Stores. 1 i
THE WORK OF TRAMPS.
They Caponlsed a Farmer In Pernls
Carcthersville, Mo., Not. 23.
James Scott, a well-to-do and re
spectable farmer living ten miles north
of this place, while hunting coons
near his home early this morning,
was approached by two strange
tramps. They accosted him in a
friendly manner, and after conversing
with him a few minutes they began to
quarrel with him. After a few words
had passed the two men seized Scott
and. throwing him to the ground,
bound blai securely and proceeded to
mutilate him in a horrible manner.
Scott begged for murcy and pleaded
with rt?; wretches to let him go. They
were ieaf to all his -entreaties atwl
threatened to kill hits if he cried Oct.
After completing their atrocious
wtrk, the men unbound Scott, and
tearing him half dead on the ground,
toeii everything out of his pockets and
rcaJe off. Some tirae after ther had
gone, Scott recovered seflicient
strength to drag himself to his home.
where he is duv rtceiviny medical
As soon as toe ietails of tSe crime
became known ir the vicinity a posse
of neighbors started in purstit of the
tramps. Soett jgave a good descrip
tion of his -assailants, xnd it is
thought they will be caught.
A purse of "." was raisjd among
farmers aod aonan sent toOyersbnrg,
Term., to put -en the trail A the mis
creants. Mr. Scott ie resting welt to-day, and
the doctors -sny he will recover. lie
can offer aexplanation cf the attack,
or the motive -ef the men in go brutally
assaulting .him without provocation.
die, C. F. Brwoks
gays tluut hie little girlieitroubled witk
malaria ve?y severely, vad that since
he gave her Sulphur Bitters, he never
thinks f leaving New York for hir
summer resort without . few bottles,
for they always cure his family, and
are far .-superior to quinine.
Female Consular- Agent.
WASHIN1TON, Now 18. For wfca
is believed to be the first time in tho
history .of diis (iovernnent, a wornM
is acting .s its representative abroad.
Secretary Sherman approved to daAv
the request of J. Adolphe Guy, Con
sular Agent' of the United States in
Edmundstvn, X. B., .for two week
leave Ant1 appointed KiumaHart to ae.
as Consular Agent during his ab
Miss H.rt probably w ill have very
little business to attend to during hei
term I office. It is said at the State
Departmost that if she takes in more
than $20 the officials will believe that
the natural gallantry of the New
Brunswickians has caused them to
to secure the services of Miss Hart ir
transacting their business. Durinr
the fiscal .year ending June 30, 1896,
the official fees taken in by the Con
sular Agent amounted to $462.50. No
notarial fees were revived arid no
salary is Attached to the office.
Jt lilts the spot.
When suffering from a severe cold
and your throat and lungs feel sore,
take a dose of Foley's Honey and Tar,
when the soreness will bo at once re
eved, a warm grateful feeling and
healing of the parts affected will be
experienced and you will say: '"It
feels so good, It Hit The Spot." It
is guaranteed. W. H. Coerver.
We lind in the Boston Daily Globe
of October 12th an article on this sub
ject, too long for us to print, in which
it is stated that a hypnotizing craze
has broken out among school boys in
Eau Claire, Wisconsin, which has as
sumed such proportions thattho school
authorities have issued an order that
all pupils in the public schools must
stop hypnotizing or be expelled, sev
eral of the boys having been hypno
tized by other boys.
As we have said in previous num
bers of this paier. it is high time that
this hypnotizing business should le
thoroughly examined by our scient
ists, and a warning to the public
against it be published by every news
paper in this country. Our Dumb
It May save Your J.lle.
A dose or two of Foley's Honey and
Tar will prevent an attack of pneu
monia, grip or severe cold if taken in
time. Cures coughs, colds, croup,
LaGrippe, hoarseness, difficult breath
ing, whooping cough, incipient con
sumption, asthma or bronchitis. Gives
positive relief in advanced stages of
consumption, asthma or bronchitis.
Guaranteed. Coerver's drug store.
JASPER N. BURKS ARRESTED.
Aided His Nephew In a Fight With a
Farmington, Mo., Nov. 22. Ex
Senator Jasper N. Burks and his
nephew, J. B. Burks, have been ar
rested on a charge of assault. Just
after the adjournment of Circuit Court,
J. B. Burks became involved in a
fight with W. H. Adkins of Bismark,
a witness in a casein which the Burkses
were attorneys for the defense. When
Adkins and Burks clinched, Jasper
struck Adkins over the head and face
with a heavy goldheaded cane, inflict
ing a severe injury. After he was
struck, Adkins drew a pistol and fired
at Jasper Burks, but his arm was
caught from behind by J. B. Burks,
and the ball went wild. Parties rush
ed in and disarmed .Adkins.
Tie Scattered Veterans.
The Itoe in Longfellow's poem, "All
are scattered now," is suggested by
the roster of the snrvivorsof the Buck
tail or 1st Rifle Regiment of the Penn
sylvania reserves, which roster ap
pears in the pamphlet account of the
reunion of the survivors held this year
at Rsrporium, Cameron County. We
find that the srrvivors of this distinct
ively Pennsylvania regiment are reg
istered as living in Delaware, Minne
sota, Michigan, Missouri, New Jer
serf, Kentucky, District of Columbia,
Florida, "Wisconsin. New York, Ohio,
S&braska, 'Colorado, Oklahoma, Cali
fornia, Maiine, South Dakota, State of
Washington, Maryland, North Caro
lina, "West Virginia, Illhtoi-s. Iowa,
Indiana, "Virginia, Kansas a-nd New
Mexico. Accustomed as we are to
American changing their place of
esidenee, this roster shows a dirtri-
Fbution over the country feat we should
consider extraordinary if we did not
feel assured that almost any similar
roster would duplicatethe distribution.
Free oi Charge to Sufferers.
Cut this out and take it to your
druggist and get a sample bottle free
of Dr. King's New Discovery, for
Consumption, Coughsand Colds. They
do not a-sk you to buy 'before trying.
This will show you the great merits of
this truly wonderful remedy, and show
you what can be accomplished by the
regular tized bottle. This is n ex
periment, and would be disastricms to
the proprietors, did they not kt.ow
it would invariably c ure. Many of
the best physicians are now using it
in their practice with great results,
and are nclying on it in most severe
cases. It is guaranteed. Trial bottle
free at W. ( '. Haman and all Drug
i.ii Iowa Pessimist.
Dr. Herron, of Iowa Wesleyan Uni
versity, says '"there is no disputing
that we are on the verge of a revolu
tion." But there is, and consequent
ly the reverend gentleman should look
into the matter a little deeper. Per
haps when he has studied the subject
a tritle he will learn something about
the facts, which are that revolution in
the United States is no more imminent
than submergence under the waters of
the Atlantic, that the American people
are the best fed, the best clothed, the
bent housed and most nearly content
ed of mankind, and that their govern
ment, while perhaps it is not the best
possible, is certainly the best designed
and best administered on earth. Chi
As an honest remedy, Foley's Honey
and Tar does not hold out false hopes
in advanced stages, but truthfully
claims to give comfort and relief in
the very worst cases, and in the early
stages to effect a cure. W. H. Coerver,
Scolding l iider Dlfllctltles.
At a church gathering some time
ago a number of deaf-mutes were pres
ent. Refreshments were served during
the evening, and in handing a cup of
coffee to one of the guests a deaf-mute
gentleman happened to spill a few
drops cn his wife's skirt. The wife is
also a deaf-mute, and it was evident
that she took the mishap in a rather
irritable way. She wrinkled up her
forehead and at onee made a series of
remarkably swift movements with her
nimble fingers. The husband, lookin"
exceedingly apologetic, made a few
motions in return.
One of the guests who had noticed
this little by-play slyly slipped out a
bit of paper and penciling something
on it handed it to a friend.
This is what the latter read:
"No matter how badlv afflicted.
woman can still scold."
The friend scribbled this in return:
"Yes, but in the Dresent case the
husband is luckier than the average
he doesn't have to look. "Cleveland
RURAL FREE DELIVERY.
The Subject Discussed by Assistant
Postmsster General Heath.
Postmaster W. V. Leech of this city
handed us the following, which is from
a discussion by Assistant Postmaster
"If Congress would relieve the de
partment of the obligation of carrying
as second-class mail matter 180,000
tons a year of advertising stuff, chief
ly for the benefit of private enter
prises, at a loss of 7 cents a pound
(and there it seems to me is paternal
ism run mad), we could give free de
livery to at least 50 percent more peo
ple than nowhaveit, without incurring
any deficit. The people want it.
Wherever it has been tried, the ad
vantages are found so great that the
people within the delivery, with n ex
ception, have expressed a willingness
to defray the cost themselves rather
than lose it. In Mississippi and Mas
sachusetts and other States, whole
communities have established little
free deliveries of their own, and pay
the carriers themselves.
"My belief is that rural free de
livery has come to stay, and I have
strong hopes that Congress will, at its
next session, authorize quite a con
siderable extension of the system."
.Mr. Heath believes that the rural
free delivery plan has been popular
wherever it has been tried, and he is
confident that in time it will be very
generally in use. Mr. Heath does not
believe that the cost per piece for de
livery of mail under the new plan
should condemn the project.
"What do you suppose" asked he,
"the first letters cost that we trans
mitted from Juneau, Alaska, to Circle
City? Just tl a letter, and we got an
average, of, say, 3 cents each for pos
tage on them. Wasn't that pateralism?
But public interests were served, and
the development of the country was
advanced by opening up of postal
communication to this, the most dis
tant point of our great domain.
"Has it ever occurred to you,"' he
continued, "to figure out the immense
distances the Post Office Department
covers for the nominal price of 2 cents
an ounce of letter postage? You are
in Key West, Fla., let us say, and you
have heard that a relative or friend of
yours has caught the Klondike fever
and is in Circle City. Alaska. You
want to take a stake in his ventures,
and you write to him. This is what
the Government does for you for 2
cents. It transmits your letter
"From Key West to Tampa, Fla.,
"From Tampa to Jacksonville, Fla.,
"From Jacksonville to Atlanta, Ga.,
"From Atlanta to St. Louis, Mo.,
"From St. Louis to San Francisco,
"From S.;n Francisco to Seattle,
"From St .ittle to Juneau, Alaska,
"From Juneau to Circle City, 960
"Total, i,S29 miles, for 2 cents.
"You can find in this a complete
answer to the objection that in som
of the rural five delivery districtsit
costs more to deliver a letter than the
postage amounts to. You must strike
an average. The crudities and in
equalities of the rural free delivery
system are not nearly as great as those
which were encountered when iree de
livery was started in the big cities in
1863. The cost of the postal service
over and above its receipts is defray
ed by taxation borne by thewhole peo-,
pie. The benefits should be equalized
as far as possible."'
Workins Woman's Home Associa
tion 21 S. Peoria St, Chicago, 111.,
Jan. 11. 18.
Our Working Woman's Home As
sociation used Foley's Honey and Tar
six years ago, and arousing it to-day.
It has alwas been a favorite, for while
its taste is not at all unpleasant its ef
fects are very beneficial. It has never
yet disappointed us. Wishingyou all
possible success, sincerely yours,
Laura (J. Fixon. Mgr. W. H. Coer
Washington. D. C, Nov. 19.
Currency reform will be the leading
feature of the President's annual mes
sage to Congress. President McKin
ley is now writing that proposed re
vision of the financial system of the
Revision of the financial system of
the Government laong conservative
lines is to be made a distant policy of
A gentleman approached & clerk in
one of Nashville's leading hotels and
inquired, in a confidential way, if a
lady bearing a certain name was stop
ping there. The clerk answered that
she was, and had arrived on the train
the night before. A card was sent up,
and the answer came that the lady
would see him. Somewhere about an
hour later the gentleman reappeared
in the office of the hostelry, weeping
bitterly. The sympathetic clerk be
gan at once to ply him with questions,
and through his tears learned that
this was their first meeting, and that,
while he was more than satisfied, the
lady was not pleased. He seemed al
most heart-broken, and called in
friends to plead for him, through
whose intercessory efforts another in
terview was had and the lady relent
ed. License was puocured, the service
of a minister secured, and the marriage
ceremony was performed. But the
bridegroom's joy was short-lived, for
the next day they parted, she return
ing to her Northern home, and he to
pine in disconsolation. Nashville
Preparing to Be Thankful.
The next issue of Podunk Gazette,
edited by our old friend, Col. Tooker
Bracer, will contain the following:
Mai. Bill Simms has been owing us
on subscription for three years. If he
will bring us a turkey for Thanksgiv
ing we will give him a receipt to date,
Judge Cinchem told us a year ago
that he would bring us a load of wood
on subscription. We want him to
come forward with it right now, as
we'll need it to cook the turkey Col.
Simms is to bring us.
" If Senator Tom Workem intends to
keep his word with us he will bring in
those Hubbard squashes he promised
in return for our advocating his
election to the Legislature. We, can
cook them with the wood Judge Cinchem
is going to bring in to cook the turkey
Maj. Simms is going to deliver at our
Suuire Plowen has raised some fine
celery this season. As he owes us $3
on subscription we hope he we will
bring in some of thateelery to go with
the turkey Maj. Simms is going to
bring us to be cooked with the wood
Judge Cinchem has promised to de
liver tothawouttheHubbard squashes
Senator Workem has agreed to trade
for a receipt for his delinquent sub
scription. Omaha World-Herald.
Mallard's Snow Llnement.
If you have a terrible pain in the
small of the back, get a bottle of
Snow Linement. It will positively
cure it and at once. Try it and rec-
omend it to your friends. Sold at
Wilson's drug store.
Nugget In Corn.
Toms Rixer. N. J., November 19.
Charles Wainwright, of this town, the
proprietor of a flour mill, thinks there
is no necessity of his going' to the
Klondike region, as the Klondike pro
duct seems to be coming to him with
out any trouble on his part. A few
days asro Mr. Wainwright received a
car load of Western corn, and while
he was grinding it he noticed that
something was wrong with the heavy
process rollers. He stopped the ma
chinery to investigate and found a
nugget that looked just like gold had
come through the hopper with the
corn. He took the nugget to a local
jeweler, who unhesitatingly pronoun-
ed it to be native gold. It weighed
nineteen pennyweights and eighteen
grains, and Mr. Wainwright was of
fered $18 for it, but preferred to keep it
as a curiosity. Where the gold came from
is a mystery, but Miller Wainwright
inclines to the belief that some of the
Western farmers who had such a
bountiful harvest this summer are
sending a thanksgiving offering of
She Iletests Onions.
Topeka, Kan., Nov. 18. Miss El
mira McCoy, a teach in the Tojieka
schools, has waged war on onions.
She sent home four students who had
onions in their pockets. This action
caused a sorm among the parents,
who declare that it is beyond the
province of a teacher to dictate the
diet for children. One boy was sent
home for 'fumigation' because he ate
several oniens for lunch. Miss McCoy
to-night said that she detested onions,
and that as long as she is teacher
boys will not be permitted to carry
raw onions in their pockets to eat
during school hours.
Veterinary Book Free.
Dr. Humphreys' Manual on the
reatment of Horses. Cattl. Shean
tHogs, Dogs and Poultry, mailed free
upon request. Addressthe Humphreys'
Company, New York.
Thanksgiving and Plagiarism.
Considerable comment having been
made in the papers upon what was not
only a striking similarity in but an
actual identity of the language used
in the Thanksgiving proclamations
recently issued by Govs. Stephens of
Missouri, and Pingree, of Michigan,
the latter has frankly come forward
and stated that his version was appro
priated from a similar document is
sued by his predecessor, Gov. Rich.
The Michigan Governor's confession
and justification r; iu tc !c-li
"I have merely fallen in with the
order of the day. The Democratic-
Republican combine here in Detroit
stole my platform bodily, so I merely
followed the precedent when I took
Gov. Rich's message. I guess too
much was taken from the ex-Gover
nor's message to look geod. The
message was too long anyway."
At first sight Gov. Pingree might be
assumed to have the best title to ap
propriate the language of his imme
diate predecessor, but the case has
unfortunately been complicated by the
fact that his proclamation was ante
dated by that of the Missouri execu
tive some four or five days, thus rais
ing the question as to the real source
from which the appropriation (or pla
giarism, if it may be called such) was
made. As Thanksgiving proclam
ations are not copyrighted nowadays
it is not to be expected that either will
be subject to prosecution under the
copyright laws, butitisnot a little sur
prising that so zealous a Populist and
free silverite as Gov. Stephens shou'
be content to give thanks for the s dms.
reasons and in the same language
ployed by a sound money Pepublkan ..
like Gov. Rich. Here, is something
that he is in danger of being called to
account for by his Populist followers.
The mortification crowing out of de
tection in a case of thi kind might -be
avoided if executives, inexperienced
in the preparation of perfunctory doc
uments of this character, would turn
the work over to experts, as clergy
men have sometimes been accused of
doing in the preparation of their ser
mons though even here thete is dan
ger of being caught in a plagiarism.
But, come to think of it, it is barely
possible that some of our Governors
do that already.
This Case niay "recati iO tbe niiud of-'
some "older inhabitant" the fcmous
Thanksgiving proclamation of Sal
mon P. Chase, issued about 18"6,
while he was Governor of Ohio. At
that time Thanksgiving was regarded
as a purely "Yankee institution,"
and the custom '
only beginning to be recognized in a
few of the States outside of New Eng
gland. In the "Solid South"' and in
some of the Western States it was
looked upon as a device for over
throwing the "divine institution" of
slavery, and they "would none of it."
Gov. Chase consequently had fewer
opportunities to plagiarize from other
executives, so his proclamation was
made up largely of quotations from
the Psalms so deftly arranged that no
one ever accused him of plagiarism,
though the origin was readily dis
tinguishable. Yet no Thanksgiving
proclamation in this country ever re
ceived more general commendation,
unless it was that of President Lin
coln in 1863, when he set the example
of issuing proclamation for a na
tional Thanksgiving, which has been
loiiowed ever since. Chicago Tri
bune. Ballard's snow l.lnlment.
There is no pain it will not relieve,
no swelling it will not subdue, no
wound it will not heal. It will cure
frost bites, chiblains and corns. Sold
by Wilson Drug Store.
Hector Lane's Cotton Crop Estimate.
FoKT Wokth, Tex., Xovember 19.
Hector D. Lane, of Alabama, presi
dent of the American Growers As
sociation, is just concluding a trip
through the cotton belt of Texas and
the Indian Territory, gathering ma
terial for a statistical report on this
year's cotton crop. He thinks that the
general crop of the South this year
will exeeed that of 1896, and he aj-
proximates the number of bales at 10,-
000,OUO. He found the largest crops in
Xorth Texas. Indian and Oklahoma
Territories, and the biggest increase
in acreage in the territories. Lane
speaks very highly of the production
on the new lands there, and regards
that section as tho coming cotton
country of the world. He looks upon
present values as too low, consider
ing the statistical position of cotton,
based upon the small surplus carried
over and the general commercial con
ditions. When Weak, Weary, and Wasted
rom Kidney Diseases, why not try
Foley's Kidney cure, a guaranteed
medicine.. Coerver, Druggia
r " m iiwiiit lira if f i ir-i ii' ir n .r.-