Newspaper Page Text
B. II. ADAMS. PublUher.
CAPE GIRARDEAU. - MISSOURI
BETTY GIVES THE MITTEN.
There was the ring of steel-shod feet.
There was the winter sun's last glow
That lighted up the happy fleet
Of skaters flitting to and fro;
There was the sound of voices iow,
I heard Dan Cupid laugh in gleo-
I. victim of his dart and bow
When Betty gave the mit to me!
Ah. me! she was so small and sweet.
Her lips like roseleaves o'er a row
Of pearls, her hair like ripened wheat.
Her voice that seemed to me as though
Some far-off organ's note did blow.
That I fell straightway on my knee.
With pulses at fortissimo.
When Betty gave the mit to me!
Oh. ask me not did I retreat.
For I am not a man to go
Because a woman might repeat
A naughty, willful little "No!"
We lingered till night's portico
Fell wide: what must your wonder be,
That I should stay on with her so.
When Betty gave the mit to me!
Ah. Prince, 'tis vain to hide, I know.
What eyes as keen as yours must see;
Her hand was there inside (oho:)
When Betty gave the mit to me!
I Sir Tooy's Church.
I BY OPIE READ.
SEVERAL times within tbe memory
of men not yet old have troops of
state militia been Bent into Liggitt
county to put down the spirit of vio
lent insurrection. Once the Light
horns objected to Matt Proctor, who
hail been elected sheriff, and stormed
his office with sledge-hammer and gun;
and on another occasion the commu
nity arose to mob a surveyor employed
to sight a line for a railway. Upon
the w hole, and w ithout halting to give
instances, Liggitt county was a pre
cinct of outlawry and moral darkness.
Years ago an old log church stood near
the roadside at Blue Springs, not far
from the geographical and iniquitous
center of tbe county. And why in
iquitous center, with a church at
hand? The egg of much devilment
had been laid and hatched in that old
church, at the dead of night, while the
law-abiding citizen of the county was
sound asleep with his pisto! untlir his
head. One night a rough dance was
triven therein. It was mastered by
:he Liglithorn boys, and t lie law was
lfrnid to open its mouth in objection,
.hough it was a disgrace and an out
rage upon those who believed in the
Lord. Tho dance was at its height,
and Abe I.iglithorn was cnttirg high
capers with Hetty Sowers, when 1:1
stepped old man Itagley. deacon of the
church. In his arms he carried a
bundle of split wood and a wisp cf
hay. He put his burden into a corner
and bigan to pile bench-legs ai:d pieces
of board about it.
"What are you goin' to do?" Abe
Light born ashed, leaving eff his high
ra pr rs.
()h." tbe old man answered, look
ing up with a smile as sharp as a
crack in a frozen good: "I thought
I'd warm things up a little. 1 looked
in as I was passin' an I "owed it
trust be sorter chilly in lure; and I
don't want the young folks to catch
cold. The futur' hope of the commu
nity is in a bad box when the young
folks are ailinV He struck a match
and held it to the hay.
"Look out here, you old fool!"
Lighthorn cried, attempting to stamp
Dut 1he mounting blaze. The old
man shoved him aside. "This is my
house." said he. "and I don't want you
to interfere with me. You are stronger
than I am. but my gun shoots just as
strong as yourn. an' if you put cut
this ere fire, we'll both be mighty apt
to use 'em. Step up. folks, if you are
chilly, an' git warm. The stars are
r.ll out an the moon's full, an' I be
lieve we'll have a sharp frost before
mornin. Step up an' pit warm."
Lighthorn decided that it was best
to take things good-humoredly. so.
inviting his friends out, he permitted
the fire to burn; and in the light no
dim. religious light, but a great glare
in the woods the roughs and hoydvns
danced till dawn fell upon the embers.
Another church was built, a small
house deep in the woods as if it were
hiding from the Lighthorns. Hut they
found it. but not to dance in. for it
was too small. It was not, however,
too small to have fun with, so they
amused themselves by frightening the
tr.eek preacher. He ran away, and
the deacon had sore trouble in pro
curing another man with nerve enough
to take the apostolic job. But finally
he found one.
In tie Knob country was born a boy
child, early evincing the strong trait
of bull-headed,jiess. His mother had
read a romance, and she called the boy
Sir Tony Brown. Sir Tony grew into
a lusty lad, whipped boys older than
himself, snatched kisses from demure
and red-flushed maidens, and was pro
nounced a most promising youth. It
was agreed that it would be a cruelty
to flatten him out on a farm; he was
born for a profession. But prepara
tion required money. Finally his
mother, a widow by this time, decided
that he should preach the Gospel. He
had powerful legs and a neck like a
bronze Vulcan, but strength was needed
Ijv the evangelist. He bent his bull
neck to study, for in preaching the
vouth saw an escape from manual la
bor; and by the time he was well of
age. he was granted the privilege to
stand in the pulpit and groan at the sin
cursed world. Ilis enemies respected
him, for he was a convincing boxer, and
his pistol shooting had befn pro
nounced a performance of wonderful
art. But he had put aside these pro-
face practices, and it must be acknowl
edged that he was sincere. The be
lief that he could accomplish a great
good by preaching had become a part
ot His nature, and was therefore strong,
And it was Sir Tonv whom the dea
con found. The old man made no effort
to give a smooth picture of a rough
pathway. Sir Tonv smiled at th
danger. He said that he would reallv
like to fight for the Lord, not merely
the fight of polemic contention, but
the fight, if needs be, of red blood and
"Then I reckon you have in front of
you the place you have been wantin'
to find. But I'm afraid that I hain't
made it out as bad as it is. The Light
horns, with the help of a little licker.
may go so far as to lay mighty violent
hancs on you.
"Ah, and this will give me an oppor
tunity to thank the Lord for the
strength He has given me."
"Ah, but they may come with their
guns, if in public you have said any-
thin agin their unlawful practices,
and may shoot at you."
"Then," said Sir Tonv. "I shall
have just cause to congratulate my
self for having learned to shoot."
"Ah." ejaculated the deacon, "the
Loril chooses in His own way. To
some lie says 'pray ye,' and to others
"Says," tbe preacher corrected him.
"It's all one and tee same. And to
others He says:: 'Hi' that hath no
sword, let him sell his raiment and
buy one.' We have tried Parson Pray
and he has failed, and now we are goin
to try Brother Sword."
Arrangements were made. Brother
Sir Tony lived in an adjoining coun
ty. 3D miles from Alas meeting house,
the name of the new- church. He as
sured the deacon that he would be on
time, and then urging him to remain
a few- moments longer wrote out, upon
impulse, the following notices to be
posted on trees in the neighborhood
"Don't fail to attend services at Alas
m-xt Sunday. The steel of the Gospel
may strike lire from the flint hoofs of
"All enemies of the Lord are re
spectfully requested to meet at Alas
next Sunday at ten o'clock."
"An exhibition of a lively and some
what noisy nature w ill be given in front
of the door at Alas next Sunday be
fore the regular services begin. Come
one, come all. Doctors are especially
"Bring lint and bandages with you
to meeting at Alas next Sundav."
The notices were put op; the peo
ple marveled, and in groups at the
st(,re (iisrussed the strange invitations.
The deacon was applied to for light,
but he hhi it under his liushel eva
sion. Months had passed, and the peo
ple had felt no sensation. There had
been killing, but they were well with
in the limits of the ordinarv. Between
two acquaintances, meeting in 1 he
road, this farm of colloquy was not
ra re :
"Any news out yo" way?"
"Xothin unusual. Well. I must be
goin". Wait a ininit. Let me see.
Oil, yes. Tom Atcherson killed old
l'ruiit at the mill yesterday."
"That so? What's the price of aigs
out yo" way?"
Such information wa commonplace.
but in the church notices there was a
thrill of true excitement. The county
! bad been so dull anil sluggish of late
that the peaceable citizen had forgot
ten to put a pistol under his pillow.
Even the state militia would have been
welcomed as a change. And now the
neighborhood was blessed with a sen
sation. Abe Lighthorn rode abroad.
gleeful in his saddle, and he told ac
quaintances that if they would only Di
on hand he would promise them a good
time. The dav came. The weather
had been wet, but the cloud-curtain
was ripped asunder and the sun burst
forth. The woods rang with merri
ment. The people were taking their
good-humor to church. The deacon
hail come early to unlock the door.
But no one entered the house. Men
and women waited for the exhibition
outside. The preacher rode up. The
Lighthorns grunted in derision.
"Wait," said their leader. "Let's give
him a chance to cut his shines. I reckon
he will open by abusin us."
Sir Tony mounted the log step at
the door. He bowed to the men and
smiled upon the women. Then he
took from his pocket a number of
small apples and gave them to the
deacon, whispering something to him.
"That's a funny caper," said one of
"Wait," Abe commanded.
The preacher drew out a pistol. The
deacon threw an apple high in the air.
Crack, went the pistol, and the apple
feil, shattered. Up went another
apple. Down it came in fragments.
This was kept up till all the apples had
been smashed. "He's a regular cider
mill for bustin' apples," Abe w hispered
"Come into the house," the preacher
commanded, and they lost no time in
following him. He stepped leisurely
into the pulpit, took out two pistols and
placed one on each side of the Bible.
Then he surveyed his congregation.
"My friends." said he, "I have come
among you to bring the word. Several
of the brethren have preceded me on the
same mission and they have been driven
away. A preacher receives better treat
ment in the heart of Africa than he
does in this community. There are
many good people here, but there are
enough of the bad to make this place
a speck of hell on God's green earth. I (
can forgive ignorance, but I hate bru
tality. Sit down there."
A man had arisen. "I've only go4 up
to stretch." said he. "I reckon a man's
got a right to stretch."
"Well, then, stretch ar.d sit down."
The fellow stretched, sal down, and the
preacher continued: "I don't come
among you with, a foreign title, as it
would seem. My first name we won't
call it a Christian appellation is Sir,
But of this I need not tell you. I have
come to speak the word. I have come
cut into the highway of iniquity and
among the hedges of hell to compel you
to come into the feast, and you've got to
come or outshoot me, and I don't be
lieve you can. Religion has fooled with
you long enough. Y'ou laugh at gentle
ness and sneer at love. I am with you
to stay. I am going to settle down
among you; I believe that the Lord has
appointed me to set your souls right
and I am going to do it or let my own
go to its reward. Yes, I am going to
stay with you, and pursuant upon that
determination. I believe it a good plan
to take a wife from among you." He
looked searchingly over the congrega
tion. "Is there an3- young woman here
who would like to marry me? Speak
"I would." spoke up a comely crea
ture, "but I'm afraid Abe won't let me."
"Who is Abe?"
"Why, my brother, Abe Lighthorn."
"Ah, and he is the devil's special rep
resentative in this place, I hear."
Abe arose. ".Vow, Mr. Preacher, I
want my say. I like your shootin and
all that, but I've got my rights and
I'm goin' to stand up for 'em. You
set a bait to get me here, and How
that you've got me you w'jnt to poke
your words down my throat. 1 don't
believe in yo book. It's in 'cordance
with that book that our fellers air tuck
up by the militia and put in jail. There
fore I hate it and won't have nothiu' to
do w ith it. A passul of us come here to
ride you on a rail, but you sorter tuck
the wind outen us with your shootin.
I never thought the Gospel would im
prove that much: I didn't believe thar
ever would be sich a able preacher. But
enough is enough. I will agree not to
pester you you may preach all you
want to and my fellers shan't bother
you, but if you cut scollops round my
sister I'll fill you so full of lead that
two hosses couldn't pull you on a slide."
"But." said the preacher, "she has
announced her willingness to marry
"Yes. and I am mighty surprised at
it, for all the fellers in the county fust
and last have been after her and she
won't have 'cm. But that's neither
here nor thar, she ain't goin to marry
"Well." replied Sir Tony, "just wait
till the sermon is over and we will dis
cuss tbe matter."
"You may preach all you want to, but
I w on't stay to hear you."
"You have come forth from the
hedges of torment." said the preacher,
"and you must stay. I don't want to
kill my prospective brother-in-law. hut
if you attempt to leave this house I'll
"I reckon the rest of us can do a lit
"Yes. in a slow sort of way. but I
can have a hole through all your heads
before you could get me."
"Well. I ain't no blame fool, and I
reckon that's so. Go on with your
pivaehin". but I won't stand no abuse."
"My friend. I did iut come to abuse,
but to talk of love. Listen to me."
Then in the simplest w.!V he told the
story of the Saviour of man. His w ords
were warm and pietlc. The Saviour
had not come tn enforce n law He had
violate;: a law made by t ho hard-hearted.
He was the gentlest and bravest
of all the universe. He had blessed a
thief. "And if He were to come upon
earth now. the rich man. the man of the
law. the banker, the railroad king,
would be as hard toward Him as the law
that crucified Him."
"Wait a ininit." cried Abe. "Was it
the law that- killed Him?"
"Ys. the law: and the rich and tbe
powerful gloried in it."
"Why. I always 'lowed that He was
"He was the law of gentleness and
love, but not of legislatures."
"Go ahead. You are gi ttin next to
When the sermon w as done Abe came
forward and said: "I reckon 1 must
he the igi.untest man in the world.
Why. the Christ you tell about loves a
poor brute like me."
"Yes. He died for you."
"And for Sam and Dave and the rest
"Yes. for you all."
"Well, now. they didn't tell me that
before. That always told me that He
hated sin and would send me to hell.
and I couldn't Inve no man like that.
I can't help bein" ignunt I never was
in a school."
"Will vou come to church to-night?
We are going to hold a revival."
"I don't know what that is. but I'll
come and help you hold it, 1 don't care
how hard it tries to git loose. Now
let me git yo boss foryou and fetch him
up to the door."
At night the Lighthorns were there.
They asked many questions during the
services; and al last, when called upon
to pray, Abe said: "Kellers, it ain't no
part of a coward to pray to a man that
give His life for you. He could have
been rich and powerful if He had want
ed to go with the high-headers, but He
stayed down with the poor and needy,
and I'm going to pray to Him."
On the following Sunday there waa
a wedding in the church. "You fell in
love w ith him quick," said an old wom
an to the bride.
'Xot so very quick," she answered.
"I met him w hen 1 was over in his coun
ty, and we have been engaged six
I understand that all this happened
iast year. Ami now l hear tnat Abe is
a deacon in SirTony'schurch. The sur
veyor has been suffered to sight his
railroad. A simple story accomplished
more than the state militia. Carter's
Shredded Ham with Currant Saner,
Melt one tablespoonfui of butter, four
tablespoonfuls of currant jelly and a
few grains of cayenne. Add one-fourth
of a cupful of sherry wine, and a cupful
of shredded ham. Serve the ham on
toast, cut Into small squares or bits.
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
The Christian Endeavor society ot
the Congregational church of Kewanee,
111., has organized a nigbtscboolin that
By the opening of the new railway
to Bulawayo, the Zambesi missionary
stations are within three months' jour
ney from England.
Prof. Leonard, of Heidelberg, wfto
firs', discovered the cathode rays, has
received from the French Academy of
Sciecces its prize of 10,000 francs.
There are about a dozen strong
Presbyterian churches in London,
whose membership is made np almost
entirely from the working-classes.
Four persons have each contributed
$30,000 toward the Commercial museum
recently established on the university
grounds at Philadelphia, and aided by
A wealthy manufacturer in Bahia,
Brazil, recently gave a new school build
ing, completely furnished and equipped,
capable of accommodating 150 pupils,
to the Presbyterian mission of that
Germany is about to send a musical
mission to Italy headed by Arthur Ni
kisdh, who has already had experience
with the Bostonese, to spread the
knowledge of the music of Wagner and
Humperdinek. Kaiser Wilhelm is in
terested in the scheme and will give
leave of absence to all the Berlin opera
house singers who may be needed.
MULES AS TIMEKEEPERS.
llefnae to Wort When Their Trick
on the Towpath la Done.
It was just before the canal was
closed. Snow covered the towpath tlhat
was marked only by the broad-soled
shoes of the driver and the narrow
hoofs of the three gaunt mules that
sleepily stretched in their collars with
the weight of the sodden towline and
the two boats dragging behind in the
dirty water of the canal.
It was just before seven o'clock in tlhe
morning and the sun had just come
enough way from across the sea to
climb up part way on the big globe
and cast a pale gray light over the
awakening city. Laborers and shop
girls were hurrying to work, shivering
in the chill air that marked the sudden
appearance of winter.
On the Wkji crossing the canal at
the weighlock two iv.cn stood watching
the approadliing boats, and yawning
and stretching in contemplation of an
other day's work. One was a canal em
ploye. "See those sleepy mules," said he, as
he stretched himself again sympathet
ically. "See that clock over there in
the tower of the railroad station across
the river. Two minutes of seven. Bet
you those mules will give the time first
before the whist le blow s. They're great
on time. Know it bctter'n you do. Just
The three gaunt beasts with their
ears flapping in apparent forgetfulness
were urged into a trot over tbe bridge,
and the two men dodged the towline
that, slipped over the bridge railing to
the other side of the canal.
It was o.ic minute of seven. The
mules stopped on the towpath.
Ail three loudly brayed and the cho
rus of "Enl hows" awoke the sleeping
people along the canal bank for hun
dred of yards. And then the whistles
in all the factories sent out steam into
the cold air and in tones shrill and
somber sounded the beginning of the
"Wot I tell you? Them mules heat
"em out by a minute." remarked the
canal employe leaning on the railingof
the bridge. "They won't go no further.
They knmv it's time for feed a.nd rest.
See the boatman. They're goin' to take
a snub and put on a new team."
Lines were thrown and in a few min
utes the canal boats were tied fast to
the bank. Three dejected-looking
mules, still munching a wisp of hay,
scrambled up the gangplank, and their
places in the stable of the forward part
of the boat were soon taken by the time
keepers. "Why. those mules." remarked tbe
canal man on the bridge, as he watched
the new team starting under way and
the tow line stretching as the lines ere
cast off. "know more about the time o'
day phan you do unless you look at
your watch. They work just so many
hours. They go along the towpath with
heads cast down and ears drooping, to
be awakened occasionally with the
whip, when they have to hustle across
bridges and take up the slack of the
towline. but when breakfast or dinner
or supper time comes, why you can
bank nil your money on it every time
that 'they'll holler within a minute of
the right time whether it rains or
snows, whether it's dark as pitch or the
sun shines out clear and bright. They
may call em jackasses, but there's wus
that wears pants." Rochester (X. Y.)
On the Same Mlaalon.
The Judge Look here. Cephas, what
were you doing prowling a roan d my
henhouse Inst night at such a late hour?
Cephas Who, me?
"Oh. come to reckerleck now, I was
jes arter dat nenery of mine, but 1
couldn't find him, so I lef. Wlhat you
doin' out dar so late. Mars John?"
"Oh. I was lookingafter that hennery
of mine, too." Cp-to-Date.
An Expedient Amendment.
Mrs. En peck (reading) Anothet
mysterious suicide unknown mac
throws himself from a cliff.
Mr. Enpeck (thoughtlessly) Bet hit
wife was at the bottom of it.
(Ilorriedly.) Of the cliff, my love;
not the suicide." Tit-Bits.
Chanced Her SI I ml.
Mildred So you and Fred Burwica
are engaged? I thought you said a few
weeks ago you wouldn't have him if hi
were the last man on earth?
Jessie i know I did. but they say that
Fratikie Jones and Gertrude Mills ar
both crazy for him. Chicago Evening
NO CHANCE FOR EOYS ON SHIPS.
American Sea Captatna Reluctant to
Take Therm on Yoyag-ea.
Hardly a day passes that Shipping
Commissioner Tolman does not have
two or three applications from boys
who want to ship as sailors. The most
of these boys are between the ages of 15
and 18 and have never been out of sight
of land or seen a vessel larger than a
small coaster. All of these applications
are treated kindly by Mr. Tolman, who,
after questioning them as to their homes
and parents, their intentions and rea
sons for wanting to go to sea. generally
ends the interview by assuring the
would-be sailors that he has no oppor
tunity for them to ship at present, but
will bear them in mind and give them
the first chance that comes along. Tie
advises them to call again in a few days,
but it is not often that the shipping
commissioner ever hears from them
again. The boys are anxious to see
something of the world, and in nearly
every case have good homes and oppor
tunities for entering some kind of busi
ness which will prove more lucrative
and more pleasant than a sailor's life.
The applications from the boys are so
numerous that Mr. Tolman does not
pay much attention to them now. He
seldom has a chance for boys to ship on
large vessels, as no sea captain wishes
to take them. There is sometimes a
chance for boys to go to sea in the larger
vessels which are bound on long voy
ages for South Africa or the West Indies,
but as nearly all the vessels sailing out
of Portland are in the coasting trade
the shipmasters have no use for boys,
and will not take them if they can help
And yet. though the shipmasters will
not take the boys and give them an op
portunity of learning seamanship, they
all complain because there are not to
to be found more American sailors. Said
one shipmaster the other day: I have
not had an American sailor on my ves
sel for so long that I cannot remember
the last one. They are all Norwegians,
Panes, Germans, S'ova Scotians or P. E.
I.'s. Irishmen or other foreigners. It
seems as if there were no American sail
ors afloat now."
When Shipping Commissioner Tolman
asked this very shipmaster if he had
room on board his vessel for a bright
young American boy who wanted to
learn seamanship, the master replied:
"Why. my dear sir, what use is a boy to
me? Icouldn'tafford to pay him five dol
lars a month. I have no use for a boy on
my ship. A man who eats of the bread
of my owners must be able to pay for it
and his salt besides."
L'ntil some chance is given boys to
learn seamanship on American vessels
there is little chance of there being a
great increase in the numbers of Ameri
can seamen. This is recognized to he a
serious question by the navy depart
ment, and for the purpose of encourag
ing American boys to learn seamanship
the apprentice service was inaugurated.
This is giving the navy an able corps of
petty and warrant officers, but the en
listed men in the navy are still mostly
foreigners. The reluctance of shipmas
ters to take boys intotheirvesselsar.il
teach them the rudiments of seaman
ship probably explains the scarcity of
the American sailor on board the Yankee
men o' war and in the merchant marine.
Portland (Me.) Press.
HE KEPT HIS SEAT.
l-'nrthcrniorr. He Kxiilnlned Why He
Didn't Surrender It.
A little episode in a street car illus
trates a peculiar condition of society in
the average American city. The car was
humming along through the upper part
of town, it was a rainy night and the
car was filled. At every street corner
women were crowding in, laden with
water-soaked bundles and all looking
more or less bedraggled and out of
sorts. At Main and Mohawk streets a
smart-looking. well-dressed young
w oman entered the car, and steed hang
ing to the straps. Directly in front of
her sat a sad-faced but very respectable-looking
young man. He looked up
at the young woman, but gave no indi
cation that he intended to give his seat
to her. One by one the men had sur
rendered their seats to the women un
til only two or three men remained
sitting. Standing next to the smart
young woman was another young man,
evidently a man of position, w ho knew
her. As the car rushed along toward
Cold Spring the smart young woman
swung about on the straps and showed
signs of weariness. Still the young
man in front of her made no motion
toward surrendering his seat.
"Oh, I'm so tired; it seems as though
I would drop down," she said to the
young man standing by her side. Cf
course, that was too much for her gnl
lant friend, and, stooping over, he said
to the sad-faced young man sitting
down: "My friend, would you have the
kindness to give this young lady your
seat; she is very tired?"
The sad-faced young man folded his
arms resolutely and replied: "Xo, I
will not have the kindness to give this
young woman my seat. Last Monday
morning she took my place in Blank &
Co.'s as bookkeeper, because she w ould
work for three dollars a week less then
I was getting. If she can take my place
in business she must take my place in
the street car. I have a wife and little
baby starving at home. I have been
tramping the streets all day trying to
find work. I r.m tired, too."
Everybody in the car turned to listen
to the sad-fac;d young man's words.
They were very earnest. The smart
young woman turned with a sneer and
looked into the face of the young man
who stood beside her. Nothing more
was said. Buffalo News.
lie Wna Scared at Firm.
Traveler (in country town) What's
the matter with the people cf this place?
Is there some sort of an epidemic raging
here? I see that nearly everybody has
wads of cotton stuffed into his ears.
Native No, they ain't nothin the
matter with us specially. This is onr
brass band's regular night for prae
tlcin. Cleveland Leader.
"Ah," said the salmon, shu(!nring
ly, as he slipped back into the river, "t
really feel uncanny." Indianapolis'
"Xo man ebber loses 'is ambition,
completely," said Uncle Eben. "El ha
gits whah he can't be nuffin' but a nui
sance, he takes pride in seem how biff
a specimen he kin make hisse'f."
A Charitable Theory. "Mamma, Z
guess I know why Mr. Bunsby sits in.
the front row at the theater." "Why.,
my dear?" "So everybody can see thae
he's got a little hair left behind."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Financial Recreation. "I thor
oughly enjoy looking at the advertising
pages after the holidays are over."
"Any special reason?" "Yes; here and?
there I see something my wife didn't
buy." Chicago Record.
"now can yon say such cruel thing
of your antagonists in debate?" she in
quired reproachfully of the statesman.
"Oh," was the reply, "that's easy
enough. I keep a serapbook, and when
my own ideas give out I go to that."
Mrs. Jones "Did your husband die
happy?" Widow Brown ''Oh, yes;,
just before he died he cried ont ecstat
ically: 'I see a great ligfct,' and then,
added, softly: 'I think I'm going where
they give better gas, and passed smil
ingly away." Judge.
"By the way, majah, how much did
tlhe cunne! get fined for knocking that
fellow down with his fist?" "The cun
nel was not fined at all, sab. Tie escaped!
punishment on the ground of tempo-
rary insanity, sah, as he had a gun inv
his pocket at the time of the trouble.
Indianapolis JournaL ,
THE DRAMA AND LITERATURE.'
Difference Between Spoken anat
The painters have long protested!
against any judgment of their work in,
accordance with the principles of an
other art, and at last they have succeed
ed in convincing the more open-minded!
f us that what is of prime importance!
in a picture is the way in which it is
painted, and that its mereJy literary
merit is quite secondary. They are not
unreasonable when they insist that the
chief duty of a picture is to represent a
visible world, and not to point a moral
or adoru a tale, and that in the appre
ciation of a picture we must first weigh?
all of its pictorial beauty. JS'or are the
sculptors asking too much when in &
statue they want us to consider chiefly
its plastic beauty.
Now. tbe orator and the dramatist
ask for themselves whathas been grant
ed the painter and the sculptor they
request that an oration or a drama
shall be judged not as literature only,
but in accordance with the principles
of its own art. And here the. literary
critic is even less willing to yield. He
may acknowledge bis own igtioran
of perspective and of pigments, of com
position and of modeling; he may con
fess that here the paintfx and tho
sculptor have him at a disadvantage,
but he is not ready to admit that he
is not to apply his own standards to the
works of the orator and of the dra
matist. On the contrary, he maintains
that the speech and the play, if they be
long to literature at all, are by that very
fact, absolutely within the province of
the literary critic. He cannot see why
that which the orator and dramatist
may write is not to be read and criti
cised exactly as that which is written
by the novelist and the essayist and the
poet. Indeed, it is almost a misrepre
sentation of the literary critic's atti
tude to suggest that he has need to
maintain this position, for it is rarely
even hinted to him that he is not fully
justified in employing the same tests in
every department of literature.
Y'et nothing ought to be clearer than
the distinction between the written
word and the spoken between the
literature which is addressed to the
eye alone and that which is intended
primarily for tbe ear, and only second
arily for the eye. It is the difference
between words written once for all and
words first spoken and tbea written
or at least written so that they may be
spoken. When this distinction is seized
it follows that oral discourse is not
necessarily to be measured on the same
scale as written discourse. It follows
also that the speech and tbe play may
be very good, indeed, each in its kind,
although they may fail to attain the
standard of strictly literary merit
which we should demand in an essay,
n story or a poem. Prof. Brander Mat
thews, in Forum.
florae Balr from Siberia.
Three hundred bales of horses' manes
and tails, to be used for upholstering
furniture, were lately landed at Phila
delphia by the British steamships Maine
and Michigan from London. They come
from far-away Siberia, and are takes
from horses used by tbe Cossacks after
the animals have outlived their useful
ness. Horses are cheap in Russia, and
after having seen better days their
manes and tails are the only things left
.of a commercial value. Very often these
fcrirsute appendages are taken from
sonnd animals and tbe beasts left te
their fate. Here the upholsterers use
the hair for stuffing chair backs and
other articles of furniture, and tbe ma
terial from Russia brings tbe best price,
because tbe hair is the longest, and con
sequently the best. Chicago Chronicle.
Terala'a Date ladaatry.
The date industry is in Persia the
most profitable of all agricultural pur
suits, about 50,000.000 pounds being
grown annually. Aboutone-half of this
goes to India, Europe, America and
Africa, valued at the local custom
houses at about $425.000. Chicago
African Fl rentes.
In some parts of Central and South
Africa a single firefly gives so much,
light that it illuminates a whole room.
The British residents catch them in.
order to find the matchbox or lamp.