Newspaper Page Text
. II. ADAMS. rnbiUIier.
EXiAK NEALE, the cynic, yawned,
and Archie Douglas, the youngster,
caught the infection. Then the occu
pants of the smoke room followed suite
in splendid style. Neale was generally
considered ton lazy even to yaw n, so his
action was on this dull November even
ing considered by his fellow clubmen to
be of sufficient import to call for com
nvnt. ' You are getting too fat, Neale," ven
tured his neighbor. "Try a motor
cycle. If the exercise won't reduce
your ponderosity and cure you of
yaw ;is the novelty and diluvium mixed
Douglas did not this time follow his
senior's lead, but joined in the conver
"I did my Iwst to save him from syn
cope through laziness by challenging
him at billiards, till I found that the
only vacant table was the one next to
that on which that fellow I'emberton
was playing. I don't care to play even
in the same room with him. Why isn't
he at home with his wife, instead of
thrusting his company upon us.'"
"My dear fellow, I am glad you were
spare.! the double humiliation of de
feat the witness thereof by the
in:: ;. ou choose to dislike. I think,
1" vr. your remarks are at least un
g' ::ed. 1 know I surprise you. but I
... 'ell vou that vou are unjust to
"(, but look at this ostentatious dis
play of his filthy lucre!" blurted out
the youngster. "If he can afford to sub
scribe l.:::o to the West Indian relief
fund, he need not make it so public, lie
lias the bearing of a tradesman, and not
that of a gentleman.""
"Softly. ::iy lad," rejoined the reputed
"Then. t!:c!v is the case of poor (ins
DarreH. 1; is common talk that Pem
bcro:i was responsible in some way or
ncother !. h's downfall," persisted
lii-riientl.-.-s accuser. ""Then, those dia
monds thai were lost there is some
tliir:jT very suspicious about that affair-"
"Ah! li;::iionds! What would you
Fay it' I tol.i you all ill. out that mysteri
ous problem'.'" queried Neale.
K'.ery ;::.! within hearing jumped to
his feet at this bomb thrown amongst
Ihriii. Neale knew all about the dia
monds stolen from the neck of Muriel
Ross in iter mother's house, and in the
pre.-enic .;' lie donor Horace V: l'c:n
berloi' her atlianccd husband. Here
was tin- material to hand for a splendid
"Thought that would wake up the
sliiiabcrcrs." laughed the cynic. "I
won't dis-:;;oiiit you. Any man who
will p!ed;;e hi - word not to repeat my
ft:)!",- :;:ay follow Douglas and myself
to tile pri.:te loom upstairs. Bring me
whisky ::::d soda and a good cigar, and
ri! st.rt :;; once.
"The I !! h;nicnted Mr. Algernon
Ri.ss left to inoiirn his loss." said .eale,
with a preparatory cough, "a widow
vMi three e'dMren. The eldest. M uriel.
v-Jit !i:s l.'Seiy married Douglass'
frie:i'" -:i:hci ton. is. as you know, a
"he::i:;; ..1. ai.oaiplished woman. The
1-.o yonngcr children are schoolboys
n:i::'id Sid anil Bert. Two greater
Tartars in or.e house I never met.
"Tiiis worthy anil happy family lived
at o! ;-f:'':incd ho!-e called 'Thi'
: - -1 1 - -1 - -ii -1 I have culh-d the house
.;r"-t: ''::. d. Out internally it is not so
now. lor after a seasonable and rea
sonable r-." ed of mourning Mrs. Ross
ti:r:vd the old house inside out. and
with !:.' ai.! of art decorations and
electric hell.- she succeeded in prodiic
ll " !:i"s; curious of curious anon.
ai': s-a new old house.
i much for the house. The chief
attraction i:i it tirarountl it was Muriel;
h'T charms, and the comfortable iit tie
iuc:i.:ie i.i her own right, attracted
Fit'frs bv t'ie score; but there were
liev. r !.-.. ., than two in the race and
these ., wire rembertoti and (ius
":).: ri i" was the same age as Muriel.
B-iil they had been playmates together,
lie s a journalist of distinct ability
...,.;:t promise: but promise is a
v.-rv ci.s:i':st:inti:il thing to live on in
1h- of. and poor (' us suffered from
a chronic shortness of funds.
''.:it it was not to be. I'emberton
ca;:;v. saw ami conipiered. The precise
workings of the feminine heart and
inii:d which made the choice of a man
ten vears Iter senior, and a reputed
hard", unpolished business man to boot.
1 am not :'!! to determine.
! have heard that, when he cares to
display i'. i'emberton can furnish a
standard f.f conversational perfection
thai many a college man would envy,
lie has a grasp, too. of subjects which
vou would pardon a man of letters be
ins ignorant of. These accomplish
ments may furnish the secret of his
success, or 1 hey may not the fact re
mains thai he became a devoted lover,
ard poor Cits had to witness the whole
affair with as good a grace as he could
"The first indication Muriel observed
of IVmberton's wealth was a magnifi
cent diamond pendant she received
from him about a month after the be
trothal ring, on her twenty-first birth
dav. The "ring was simple, but good,
but the peudaut must have cost hirn
"The Homestead was full of people
everv day and every evening after this.
The" news of the engagement and the
fame of the jewels traveled to every
-asual acquaintance the Ross family
had ever made, and the way lapsed
claims to friendship were reworked was
"In the circumstances, Gus Darrell
Carried himself remarkabiy well. In a
cellar which ran under the roadway he
and the lads rigged npa seientilie labor
atory and playroom combined. Ik
wrote seientilie and otherarticles in the
library, stayed to dinner and made Mrs.
Icoss an excellent partner at -whist in
the evening against Muriel and Horace.
" "1'acked off to bed again," grumbled
Sid one night as they ascended to their
""It's a beastly slinme." asserted
Bert. "They are going to have dancing,
" 'Hert. I've a lovely revenge for van.
I should die laughing to see it. hut ."
mustn't, sh'.' and he w hi. j.-cred his
"After they had turned out every
light tiiey could find in the house ex
cept in the l.iti iii n. where the thru
servants were, ami in tht drawing-room
to which, of course, they had no ac
cess the young conspirators entered
"Mrs. Ross, turning a deaf ear to
Muriel's entreaties for a ijiiict evening,
had persuaded every caller, invited or
uninvited, to stay. A set of hu.cers was
in full swing. "Never mind if you are
not in evening dress, said the hostess.
"Vou can dance just as well surely w ith
out. I shall lose Muriel soon, and then
1 shall be lonely enough.'
"I'einberton was Muriel's partner.
Her white neck showed off to perfeetior
his gift, which she wore to please him.
Darrell presided at the piano. They
whirled past him just as Martin, the
new man servant who was but ler. foot
man or waiter as occasion demanded-
was trying to dodge by with a cup of
coffee for Mr. Ross.
"Suddenly ail was darkness the gas
had gone out!
"I'emberton and his partner capsized
Ihe pianist, who, in turn, upset poor
Martin, coffee and all. (iuests ran to
the door, to find it locked on the out
side! "lias no one a match V shouted
some timid lady.
"Thus adjured, the startled gentle
men recollected they were in the habit
of carrying such useful articles. Half-a-dozen
were offered at once, and the
gas. which was discovered to be still in
full force, was relighted.
'"'It is evident from the Iwo facts of
the locked door and the gas being stil!
in supply that the cause must besought
outside.' siiid I'emberton.
"The turning of Ihe key in ihe lock,
the sound of retreating scampi ring on
the stairs, and a burst of explosive
laughter con tinned his theory. The
two lads had tasted revenge by remov
ing the burner from the gas-bracket ir.
their bedroom, and blov.ir.g down the
pipe with all their lung-power till the
other lights in the house went out.
"Muriel's laughter at the boys" monk
ery 1 iirr.cd to a vv.iil as she caught .-iht
of herself in the mirror. "liora e.dtar.'
she said, "hook! My diamonds arc
""(ii'Tic!" he cried, "impossible! Vou
must have ill ojipi-d them. They are it:
the room si.tucw lu re they must be- 1
ii:i ;n myself as we wt re daacing!"
"A ijiiarter of an hour's search re
veal d initiii-'.g. The carpet was turiied
hai l:, the piano dissccit d. every article
of i 'uniit ure removed fro;i: :1s place, and
yet all in vain.
"lies 11,-irrell whispered some ipiery
o M.:r:iu. who nodded emphatically iu
""Mrs. Koss. Muriel, ladies and gen
tlemen,' he ard, "I am sure v. e re a!!
deeply sorry for the untoward incident
of which we are uiiwi!li:.g spectator.-.
A lovely diamond pendant has been lot
in this room within the lasl .0 minutes.
No one has entered r.o one has left the
room. The windows are closed the
lire is burning in the grate; therefore,
the pendant has not left the room cither
l.y door, window or tire grate, and
there arc no cupboards in l he room. On
behalf of the guests am! the ore serv
ant cm nt 1 propose 1 hat Mr. iYmber
ion search tin- gent Ii'Tnen ::i:d ir. io--s
the ladies. I am. mysi if. willirg to be
the first searched."
"A murmur of assi nt went round the
room. .Mi w ere searched. Xol king w as
found that threw any light or. the fate
of the missing pendant.
" "I am deep'y obliged to vir.i all - as 1
am sure Mrs. Kossat:d hvrdaiighlerarc
also for the readiness v-.ith which you
have submitted to this unpleasant or
d'jal. said i'etr.berton. "We must smile
at the whole affair now and write it
down as an irscrutable mystery. Dia
monds are easily replaced, and. row
tl'at every one of the company can feel
that no suspicion can possibly attach it
self to them. 1 think i!;e matter had
better rest there."
""Now. my boys. 1 am getting dry.
Another whisky and soda, please, be
fore 1 finish the yarn." said Neale. as
he relit his cigar.
Douglas chij.ped in with: "I'll finish
it for you. if you are dry. I see it all:
I'emberton took the pendant himself,
after bribing the lads to blow the gas
out. lie was not searched, you will ob
serve, gentlemen! I suppose he did it
to pretend he had money enough to re
place it with ease, l'angh! 1 hate such
"Douglas, my lad. ! am glad to be
forced to tell you this story to-night.
If I had heard such a story when 1 was
your age I sho.ih! never have earned my
lytic of cynic! Now I'll finish, please.
"I'emberton stayed the night at the
Homestead. He had his reasons, he
said. Darrell begged hard to be allowed
to keep him company, but Mrs. Ross
listened to I'emberton and gently re
"The plan that her future son-in-law
propounded seemed to her very feasible-
"The only person we can now sus
pect is Martin, said lie. 'and I shall not
allow him out of my sight till morning.
If he has planted the jewels anywhere,
some confederate will be here for them
"It was arranged that the two men
should sleep on the ground floor. I'em
berton loaded his revolver, and lay
down ou a bed where he could wteh
Martin. Now, I have told you that the
house was really an old-fashioned one,
and the cellar enderneath the roadway,
which I have mentioned as used by the
'ooys as a play room and workshop, is
a proof of it. This could be entered
either by the cellar flap or from the
door, which was easily reached by drop
ping over from the railings above. This
was the point which I'emberton imag
ined a would-be intruder would choose.
"lie was not mistaken. About four in
the morning he was startled from a
!ight doze by a loud report, which shook
the foundations of he house and broke
a dozen w indows. Rushing to the spot,
he saw that the cellar was w recked.
"'When Ihe gas had been blown out
in the house the two jets in the cellar
had been extinguished also. They were
overlooked :u the relighting the place
had been filling for six hours with gas
some one had entered the cellar, had
struck a match and wrecked the place.
I'.y the light of a lantern I'ember
ton saw the burned and bruised and
senseless body of a man, with a small
black mask over his eyes and by his
side the diamond pendant.
"I live but 100 yards away from the
Homestead.' continued Neale. "1 heard
Ihe explosion, and. hurriedly dressing,
rushed down stairs. Opening the front
door, and preparing to rush off, I met
I'emberton, carrying in his arms a bur
den. l!is burden was (ins Darrell!"
"Yes. srentlemen, the truth is told at
last! dus Darrell stole the pendant,
tins Darrell has left a sacred charge
with me that I tell the truth to every
man who says a word against I'ember
ton. Read here his letter from Aus
tralia, whither he has gone assisted by
his generous rival. 'To any man doubt
ing the goodness of Horace V. I'ember
ton.' ' I. August us Darrell, hereby declare
that I stole the pendant from the neck
of Miss Muriel Ross in the drawing
room of the Homestead. With noble
generosity. Mr. Pemberton has spared
me the pain of telling with my lips the
" "l loved Miss Ross. 1 hated I'ember
ton. I was in debt, lie was rich. When
the boys put the room in darkness Miss
Ross came quite close to me. In an in
staut the diamonds were in my hands.
Mrs. Ross had recently supplanted the
ordinary bell by electric bells. The
lads and I had rigged up in the space
occupied by the old bell handle near
the piano a speaking tube to our cellar
" 'Thus, within .1(1 seconds of the ex
tinction of the gas. I had safely sent
the jewels down the pipe. When I en
tered the cellar in the middle of the
night my excitement completely upset
mv nerves, or 1 should have detected
hat the place was full of gas. I struck
a match and remember no more till 1
awoke with Mr. I'emberton and Mr.
Neale standing over me.
""( ins Darrell.' "
"i shall go at once and apologize to
Pemberton." cried impulsive Douglas.
"I fear I have not cured your rash
1 hi. light les..ness yet, young 7ii".n. how
ever much I may have increased your
stock of charitable feelings. Do you
forget that this story is in the strictest
eoniidence? Mrs. Darrell. Mrs. Ross
and Mrs. li. V. I'l-inheron implicit ly be
lieve that (".iis was called away that
very night to . fulfill a journalistic mis
sion in Australia, and nothing will ever
be known by ihem of the part he en
acted in Ihe play that was so nearly a
tragidy. timid night. Anyone coming
my way '.'" I'carsor.'s Weekly.
A NOISY EOX.
Ihe Mranse KfiVct I'roilurcd IpoH
liiiincn .NnlivcK l- a Boxed
Like children, savages in ail pari? ol
the world arc possessed of eternal cu
riosity. Mr. II. fay ley-W l.sti r. a well
h::ov. ii Kniiiish traveler, gives an amus
ing iuslance of this trait among Ihena
ties of New (iuii.ea.
(l:.e day a piano arrived for his ex
cellency the gov. rnor.and st.tne natives
were told to tarry 1 he st range-looking
case from the beach to the house. Aft
er going a few yards one stumbled,
causing one end of the crate to strike
the ground, and, ever on Ihe alert for
strange noises, their ears were imme
diately pressed against it, and they
listened until the "ting" of the wires
had died away.
Again, after a yard or two, a similar
mishap occurred. Again many ears
were listening to the sound so foreign
to them, until a native more knowing
than the rest, with a heave raised the
whole case a ft w inches from the
ground and let it go.
The noise which issued from the in
side had by this time worked them u;
to such a frenzy that they one and all
seized upon ihe case, rolled it over and
over, and danced with joy at the
strange sounds which came forth. And
it was not until this odd performance
had been repeated many times that the
eye of an official was attracted by the
siiouls and yells of the natives: not,
however, before much damage had been
done and many strings broken.
The natives who speak Knglish have
now come to call the piano "bcx belong
cry." and generally add:
"Whitey man. he fight, him belong
hand. Hox. he cry out too much."
Soak one-quarter of a box of gelatine
in one-fourth of a cup of cold water for
ten minutes. Heat one pint of milk J
double boiler. I 'eat yolks of three eggs
with three tablcspoonf uls sugar and a
pinch of salt. Add to the hot milk and
stir ami cook until it begins to thicken.
Dissolve the gelatine in the hot custard.
I'.eat the whites of two eggs to a stifi
froth. I'our the custard carefully over
them. Add a teaspooiiful of vanilu and
pour into wet molds. Set away on ict
A QUESTION OF INTENT.
Vhe Hone Was WtlUna; (a Work
Bat Wax Physically So
A case which illustrates how a re
sourceful lawyer can bring new light
to bear en an apparently hopeless situ
ation was recently tried before a jus
tice of "the peace in this city.
The' plaintiff was; a German faxmer
who had bought a horse. His tale was
pathetic. The former owner was much
more used to selling horses than the
purchaser was to buying. After a few
moments of silver-tongued persuasion
the farmer was in a hurry to close the
bargain lest it .should got away from
him. Ue hitched the horse to a wagon
r.ext day, and the animal, after giving a
a few tugs at the traces, looked re
proachfully around and then hung his
head. The humane farmer lightened
the burden and tried him again, but the
horse, after bracing his feet for a pull,
trembled iu the knees and quit. Think
ing it possible tht animal was tired,
his owner let him rest over night. Next
morning when put between the shafts
the horse pawed the ground once or
twice in an honest effort and then,
overcome by humiliation, tried to lie
'"Did my client tell you that it was
! a strong horse?" asked the lawyer for
"lie represendatiffed him to me as a
goot horse," said the placid flerman,
w ho had no idea of the logic to be en
countered before the final decision in
his favor could be rendered.
"Recall his exact language, please,"
was the rejoinder, in a severe tone.
"Now, as a matter of fact, did-'t he
simply say to you that the horse was
a good worker?"
"Yes," fame the answer, promptly.
"Dose is der exact information. Rut
"He didn't what?"
"lie didn't was a good worker,"
'IIvv do you know?"
"I seen him. He couldn't.
"Well, sir, was that the horse's
"I wasn't plaining de horse."
"I shall call no other witness. This
man's own testimony is all the proof
I desire to urge in mv client's be
half." The client, a slightly bow-legged man,
with a cheeked suit, looked surprised.
"The only assurance given," proceed
ed the young lawyer, "was that the
horse was a good worker. The de
scription was intended to apply to the
horse's disposition and not to anything
! so changeable and uncertain as his
' physical condition. The k."r-.e was w ill
I ing to work, and a horse that is willing
to work is a good worker." Washing
HINTS FOR THE HOUSEWIFE.
Little IlitM of Information Aliont
the Preparation of Palat
To prepare tomatoes with the Satan
ic name, w ipe, peel and slice crosswise.
Season with salt and pepper, dust lib
erally with Hour and cook in the hot
cutlet pan until thoroughly heated,
using drippings, olive oil or enough but
ter to prevent burning. Take up on
hot platter and put into the pan a
quarter of n cupful of butter creamed,
two tabli-spoonfuis powdered sugar,
one teaspoonful mustard, a quarter
teaspoonful of salt, a few- grains of cay
enne, the yolk of one hard-boiled egg
powdered, one egg slightly beaten and
two tabltispoon'fiils vinegar. Set over
the hot-water pan, stir constantly until
thickened and pour over the tomatoes.
T'oultry anil meat, on being served
cold, may be improved in appearance
by glazing. The process is simple. An
excellent glaze may be made by dis
solving a half ounce of gelatine in a pint
of water, flavoring and coloring it with
extract of beef. To be perfectly suc
cessful the meat must be perfectly cold
before the glaze is put on, and the
first coat should be allowed to dry be
fore the second is put on. The glaze
must be warm and applied with a
1'arsley for seasoning or mint for
sauce are best cut with a pair of clean,
sharp scissors. Hold a half dozen of the
stalks twisted into a little roll in one
hand and clip them all through at one
stroke, cutting the bits very short. In
this way the bruised appearance that
follows chopping is avoided.
An oilskin bag for towels, etc., and
a long wrap of Turkish toweling or
flannel with loose sleeves and a hood
like a monk's cowl to cover one in the
necessary transit from bathhouse to
the water will be found useful accom
paniments when bathing from the
A bowl of hot milk taken immediate
ly before retiring is. said by those who
fiave suffered from insomnia to be a bet
ter soporific than any opiate known to
Mint sauce may take on added
glories, says a woman who has tried it,
by using fresh lime juice instead of
vinegar, with a dash of good brandy
and a few grains of cayenne.
In serving clam broth add to the top
of each cup a little whipped cream.
Blayonnalse of Cauliflower.
Cook small bunches of cauliflower in
boiling salted water till tender, taking
pains that they retain their shape.
Drain and cool. Make a marinade in
the proportion of three tablespoonfuls
of vinegar to one of salad oil. Season
with salt, pepper and the merest sus
picion of grated onion. When the cauli
flower is quite cold, pour this over it
and let it stand, turning the pieces oc
casionally, for a couple of hours. Just
before dinner, arrange tastefully in
salad bowl on a bed of cress or lettuce,
and pour over all a mayonnaise. Small
round radishes with the skins cat and
turned back like a flour make a pretty
jyarnish for this salad. Pass crackers
and cheese with this coarse. Good
Harry-la; Soblemea Is Sot Always i
Pleasant Tblas; for Ameri
Marrying an English title is not alt
honey. It depends, though, on the mo
tive whether the woman feels she is
compensated by adding a handle to her
Christian name. The transaction may
be entirely for barter, and in that case
no sympathy need be wasted on either
party. The title is bought with a for
tune by the bride, and if it does not
pan out well she must simply regard
it as a bad investment, like many an
other made in business. Now less than
a year ago a handsome and exceedingly
wealthy widow, not satisfied with her
affiliations in New York society, mar
ried an English earl of broken down for
tune and health, whose sole claim to
distinction existed in the fact of his
associations with the royal house of
Dy the aristocracy he was tolerated
because he was one of them, but out
side of that sacred band he was a no
body; he was as poor as a church mouse.
However, his great name counted for
something and the rich American
widow- fancied it would be "jolly" to
be countess, when so inan3" other New
York women were Ladies Somebody or
other. There was no love lost, evident
ly, for the earl threw himself in front
of an express train, or had a fit, the
coroner said, and left awitl that ignored
his new wife, whose millions had given
him ease from creditors and taken his
establishment out of quad.
No arrangements had been made for
her and the consequence is, beyond the
privilege of using the coat-of-arms of
the Strafford's and being called a dow
ager countess, the former Mrs. Colgate,
of New York, is precisely where she was
a year ago, as far as society is con
cerned. It may be this was all under
stood in the marriage settlements, yet
the lady scarcely counted on so brief a
tenure of the coveted position; she gave
so much for so little, she should have
all there was to it for some years to
come. Alas and alack! for the grati
tude of man.
The earl bequeathed every bit of
property he possessed to his two
daughters, not even making provision
for a possible heir, which the countess
now leads the new earl to expect. One
really hopes the expectation will be
realized, if it is only to see the complica
tions that then will arise unsnarl them
selves to the satisfaction of the hand
some xmerican widow. Hut Lord Straf
ford did not have an easy life of it. His
daughters married indifferently. Lady
Mary Hyng, the younger one, who was
the queen's maid cf honor, contracted a
disastrous alliance with an impecu
nious French count, and the pair kept
a sort of young noblemen's boarding
school in France until the other day
the authorities went and shut it upon
thepleaof polities, l'erhaps the father-in-law
of this Viscount De Manny Tal
vande became discouraged with the out
look for his favorite daughter and con
cluded life was not worth living, and
then, again. h- may have had a real fit
and tumbled under the wheels of thf
train. Chicago Chronicle.
rnlTeriity Ceremonial Which Are
fontlncted with Uretit Pomp
The conferring upon Sir Henry Irv
ing of an honorary degree by the Uni
versity of (ilasgow and the ceremonial
proceedings which, as usual in such
cases, marked lhatoccasi.in have drawn
attention to the peculiarly gaudy char
acter of (ilasgow university's academic
al functions. At other great seats of
learning, however brilliant the plumage
of the "domini dcctr.res" and other
members of high degree, your mere
student, or undergraduate, must weara
gown or cloak of sober, often rusty,
black. Rut at (Ilasgow the students are
Ftill divided into "Togati" and "Non
Togati." and the former "students of
humanity, tireek. logic, ethics and r.at
.irr.l philosophy classes" must, ac
cording to the university statutes,
wear "the ancient academical rob a
Owing, probably, to the anti-papistical
tendenct ies of (ilasgow. the authori
ties of that university are not given to
emphasizing the circiimst:.'-ces in its
history which this scarlet cloak really
commemorates. St. Andrews, the old
est university in Scotland, was founded
in 1411 by Rishop Henry Wardlaw, and
on petition of King James Land many
great men of his realm was sanctioned
by a bull of I'ope Nicholas V. two years
later. Next in older of antiquity conies
(.ilasgow. Rut no Scottish name is re
corded as that of the founder of that
university. In fact, it was not founded
by any Scot, but by this same I'opc
Nicholas V., who issued his bull for the
establishment of a "sudiuni generalc"
at f ilasgow in 140, anil endowed the
same, so far as it was endowed at all,
out of the funds of the church. It is to
this fact that the Presbyterian students
of humanity and the other ingenious
arts at C.Iascow owe their "kcarlct
cloaks." And the origin of the universi
ty is unique, as is the garb of its stu
dents. It is the only surviving purely
papal foundation in the l'.rilish Isles.
N. Y. Tribune.
Krrpins 7.111k from Souring.
The city boarders sojourning at the
farmhouse were seated at dinner. On
the outside a storm was raging.
"Is it true," asked the young man in
the striped shirt front, as he had his
glass refilled for the fourth time, "that
thunder sours milk?"
"Sometimes it do," replied the old
farmer, from the far end of the table,
"but I guess they ain't none of it around
here goin t' git a chance t' sour." Ohio
Strictly Private Thought.
No man would care to have his wife
know just exactly what he thinks of
i.tnelf. Philadelohia Ttecord.
Joggles "!' see there's a new keeper
In the menagerie. Didn't the animal
like the old one?" Waggles "I guess
so. They ate him up." Judge.
He "I'm thinking of proposing to
you. She "I hope you will postpone
it awhile." He "Why?" She "I don't
know you well enough yet to refuse
you." Town Topics.
"There's a mountain of evidence
against you," said the young lawyer to
his first client. "Tunnel it, my boy, tun
nel it!" cried the old sluice robber.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Alas! Yes. Mrs. Bjenks (severely)
"There is absolutely no excuse for
polygamy. One wife is enough for any
man." Mr. Bjenks (softly) "Yes. One
wife is too much for some men. Som
A Wordy Bow. "Dunphy is pretty
well battered up." "Yes. He and Mc
Cracken had a passage of words.
"Only words?" "That's alL McCrack
en threw a dictionary at him." Phila
delphia North American.
Papa "You and Willie ought to be
ashamed of yourselves not to give little
sister any of your gumdrops." Tommy
"Well, paw, you see, me an Willie
have formed a trust, an she don't be
long." Ohio State Journal.
Living Skeleton "Say, I don't want
to sit next to the fat woman any more.
Manager "Why not?" Living Skele
ton "She's all the time cracking jokes
and making me laugh. I'm afraid I'll
grow fat." N. Y. Evening Journal.
"You are one of those humanitarians
who believe in bringing up children
without corporal punishment, ain't
you?" "Yes, it's as true as I'm stand
ing here, I've never struck one of my
children a blow, except in self-defense.
Achieving His Ambition. "And by
the way," asked the old schoolmate,
'"what has become of Mosely, who used
to talk so much about devoting his life
to uplifting mankind? Did he go into
the ministry?" "No," answered the
other schoolmate, "he is in the elevator
business." Indianapolis Journal.
MILLIONS OF DICE.
They Are Made, of Varloas Ma
terial and Sold In Larre
The bone dice used in the United
States are all imported from France,
though it may be that the bone of which
they are made came originally from
this country. They are made in a man
ufacturing district not far from Paris
in which are produced various articles
of bone, and also things partly of bone,
as, for instance, tooth brushes. Bone
dice are made in 11 sizes, from 0 to 10
inclusive, and in each of these sizes
they are "made both square and round
cornered, as are all other kinds of dice.
In all kinds of dice there are sold of
the square-cornered variety ten times,
perhaps 20 times, as many as of those
made with rounded corners. Bound
cornered dice are often used in playing
backgammon; they wear a board less
than square-cornered dice would and
roll easier. There are made some black
bone dice with white spots, but the sale
of these is comparatively very limited.
The great majority of the very large
number of bone dice sold are in the form
of the familiar white cubes with black
Celluloid dice, which are made in this
country, are of both opaque and trans
parent material. The transparent dice
are made in saffron color, in magenta
and in green; the ouaque in imitation
of ivory. The imitation ivory dice are
finished in various ways as to the color
of the spots, some being made with
black spots and some with spots of
blue and some with red spots. The
spots on the various transparent dice
are made white. These various kinds
of celluloid dice are made in seven
There are made in celluloid two styles
of poker dice, one octahedron-shaped
and containing on its eight faces rep
resentations of the seven, eight, nine,
ten, jack, queen, king and aee of or
dinary playing cards; the other poker
dice is cube-shaped, containing on its
faces, instead of the spot, numbering
from one to six. as seen tin common dice,
representations of the ordinary play
ing cards from the nine-spot to the ace
Dice are made in various sizes of
vegetable ivory, of ivory, and of pearl;
the most costly dice are those of pearl,
a set of five of medium size would cost
at retail about $7.50. Some of the bone
dice are very cheap, dice of small size
selling at retail for a cent apiece, ot ten
cents a dozen.
A considerable number of dice of
one kind and another are sold for use
in the household. All cabinets made
to hold cards and counters and so on
have a compartment for dice, which
are part of the equipment, and many
dice for such use are sold separately.
Take it altogether, the consumption
of dice in this country amounts to mil
lions annuallv. N. Y. Sun.
A Financial Shock.
A man went to a local bank with a
check which there was no cash on de
posit to meet. When the paying teller
declined to respond the applicant loud
ly demanded to see the cashier.
"We have no 'cash here for you,"
quietly responded the teller.
The man with the check saw the
point, ne moved in circles till he found
his way out, tobogganed down the
front steps and was led a block by a
policeman before sufficiently recovered
to make explanation. Detroit Free
Miss Thirtysmith That man Grlm
shaw is just too mean for anything.
Dolly Swift What has he done to
"Why, "last night when I told him in
confidence of my engagement to Mr.
Askicgton, he replied: Ah, indeed,
how did vou work it?' " N. Y. Journal."