Newspaper Page Text
HE SOLD HIS HEAD.
Peculiar Condition in Which Wealthy
Russian Finds Himself.
A curious story comes from Russia
about a man who s^ld his head. About
the year 1865 tr.^re lived a man at
Keff with an eno-raous head. A Rus
sian scientist, Prof. Walker, in order
to secure the he?.d for scientific pur
poses, bought it from its possessor for
COO roubles. The condition of sale
was that it should only be delivered
after the man's decease but when
the transaction got abroad a great
scandal was created. The professor,
however, stuck to his bargain, and the
big head applied itself to business.
Fortune smiled on the latter he Ml
heir to a big fortune, and then he
began to feel uncomfortable at the
thought that the head belonged to an
other. He went to the professor, offer
ed biE-1,000,.1,500,. even. 2,000 .roubles
If only he would" give him back the
absolute ownership of his
seadpiece.
But the professor heid ov and for
aught that is known to the contrary he
Is still holding out.Pearson's Week
ly.
TO CURE A COLD.
Uncle Allen Sparks Knew of Many
Infallible Remedies.
"Uncle Allen," asked the young
man, "do you know anything that's
good for a cold?"
Mr. Allen Sparks opened his desk,
took from one of the pigeonholes a
large number of newspaper clippings
tied with a string, and threw it over
to him.
"Do I know of anything that is good
for* a cold?" he echoed. "My boy, I
know of six hundred and twenty-seven
infallible ways of curing a cold. I've
been collecting them for forty-nine
years. You try these, one after the
other, and if they don't do you any
good, come back and I will give you
one hundred and sixteen more. Bless
me!" added Mr. Sparks with enthu
siasm, you can always cure a cold if
you go about it the right 'way."
He dug up a bundle of yellow, time
stained clippings out of another pig
eonhole and the visitor hastily left.
Good Word for Mosquito.
The announcement comes from
Washington that the New Jersey mos
quito is really a blessing in disguise.
Not only is its bite not dangerous,
but, it is asserted, this voracious in
sect destroys poisonous immigrants
of its genus that come from the south
to threaten people with malaria, yel
low fever and the like. All this may
be true enough, but it is not likely
that the long-billed New Jersey variety
will be cultivated as household pets
until some way is devised to muzzle
them during their working hours. Few
of us can stand the loss of blood nec
essary for their salubrity.Indianap
olis News.
Made of elm, finished in
golden, has glass doors, ad
justable shelves, and place
below for linen. Worth $9.50
Dining Tables
$1.75
And Up.
OAME BACrv rCtt HIS OWN.
Mow WHklnson Was Outwitted by a
Brainy Tramp.
When Wilkinson went, to hfs office
one day last week he felt calm and
contented. He hadn't any need to
worry about his wife's loneliness any
more, for he had bought a capital
watchdog for her.
But, alas! when he arrived homo
his wife met him with the deplorable
news that the dog ha gone.
"Eh!" said Wilkinson, "did he break
the chnin, then?"
"No," she replied "but a great,
ugly-'ooklng tramp came here anrl
acted bo impudently that I let the dog
loose. But instead of tearing the tramp
to pieces the nasty dog went off with
him."
"Great Scott!" said Wilkinson, "that
must have been^tho tramp I bought
Mm..from!".
Danger in Big Guns.
Recent accidents disabling some of
our best battleships offer rather start
ling evidence of the weaknesses that
are inherent in vessels of this type.
For years inventive genius has been
applied to contriving guns of bigger
size and longer range than those used
before, and each Increase has added to
the demands laid upon the strength
of guns and turrets a.nd their mobility
in action. InewUitty the line of safe
ty has been passed .And the result i3
shown in accidents which have caused
loss c* life, besides exiting the para
doxical delicacy at massive machin
ery.Philadelphia Nortu rf^irjcan.
The Modern Race After Wealth.
The mania fof money-making has
developed into downright madness.
And the explanation is easy. People
see that it is fast becoming tha chief,
if not the only, standard of respecta
billty. When Talleyrand was asked if
he was not ashamed to sell his influ
ence in making treaties under the
first empire he replied: "My friend,
do you not see that there are but two
things left In Franoemoney and the
guillotine?" We are rapidly ap
proaching the period in our own his
tory when there will be but two things
left in Americamoney and contume
ly.JLouisville Courier-Journal.
Mrs. Morgan Not FashtonaDle.
Mrs. J. Pierpont Morgan was "the
cynosure of all eyes" at the recent
election of the Colonial Dames at New
York. Contrary to the expectations
of those who did not know her it was
found that, she dresses simply and
her cloth gown looked rusty. Her
black hat was small and shapeless
and a thick veil covered heT face. The
decision of the women who SAW her
was embraced in tbe word "frumpy."
Mrs. Morgan's disposition is exceed
ingly retiring and whenever she ap
pears in public she seems ill at ease.
pr
are better pleased years after than
when you first get them.
This does not mean that otu
prices are high. It means simph
that we buy in unusually large
quantities, and can and do sell for
actually less than some dealers
pay. We do and always will give
our customers benefit of every
cent we can save by big buying.
Our terms are. carefully com
putedbased upon a fair return
for our money and upon the con-'
venientability of the great bulk of
the people to pay.
Lawn Furniture.
We have about 175 pieces of furniture, in the shape of
chairs, settees and rockers, suitable for porch anJ lawn
One third off the regular price to close them out. All col-
ors: come early if you want a bargain.
Kitchen Cupboard,$5.25
Now Let's Reason the Matter!
POOR
goods at any price are not cheap and it is not economy to buy a tiling without
merit even at a little price. We've built a reputation for selling goods that you
Oak Dresser, $9.95
Made of oak and finished
in golden, has 3 good sized
drawers a good, size 14x2*
French Oval Bevel Plate
Mirror. Worth $12.50
Book Cases, $4.50
Will buy a neat book
case, made of birch, -polished
finish in mahogany, adjust
able shelves with brass rods,
one of the best Grand Rap
ids makes :worth $12.00.
Trading Stamps Given with
all Spot Cash Purchases
'--I-*1
wft*trPW-*"T?TV i:
NecKiace Awaits an owner.
A strange story is told about a dia
mond necklace wh! was found at one
of the English con balls some years
ago. One of the late queen's ladies
in-waiting picked up a diamond neck
laap from the floor. A ladv ram a roar.
warn ana cmimsd it. The finder, how
ever, declared it was her duty to give
it in to the lord chamberlain's office,
as this was the rule with regard to
anything found in the palace. The
lady protested in vain, but the oddest
thing was that this necklace never
was claimed, and is probably stil) at
the lord chamberlain's office.
Hare as a Universal Provider.
I In the economy of nature the hare
is the one creature that stands be
tween most of the carnivorous animals
I and starvation. In the northern woods
where snow lies on the ground for
I more than half the year,- and where
vegetation is of slow growth, the hare
serves as a machine for" converting
birch twigs into muscular, lean meat,
and providing it in such quantitiet
that hawks, owls, wildcats, weasel*
arid foxes can live in comparative
luxury. A pair of hares under favor
able conditions produce 70,000 indl
Tiduals in four years.
Cats to KiH Prairie Dogs.
The owners of an enormous sheep
ranch in Montana suffer so much loss
fvom the consumption by prairie dogs
of the tender shoots of grass, that
they have determined to import cats
enough to exterminate the dogs. The
first company of 100 cats is being re
cruited at St- Paul. A facetious writer
in the New York Post shows anxiety
for the future of the cats, their work
being accomplished. He says if they
do kill the prairie dogs they will have
the choice, subsequently, of starva
tion, cannibalism or brigandage.
A Healthy Spot.
The healthfulness of a certain sum
mer resort is advertised by this story.
Recently a visitor began to talk to
an old resident of the town in question
and asked him his age, whereupon he
said: "I am just over seventy."
"Well," said the visitor, "you look as
if you had a good many years to live
yet At what age did your father die?"
"Father dead?" said the man, look
ing surprised. "Father isn't dead
why, he's upstairs just now putting
grandfather to bed!"
A Real Bargain,
"In time," said the struggling artist,
"that painting will be of great value.
All you have to do is to tuck it away
in an attic somewhere and keep It
for about 200 years, by which time
I will have become one of the old
masters. Then you can sell it easily
for $10,000. You see, I know the rules,
but unfortunately I am not in a finan
cial position to carry them out. So,
If you want a real bargain, I'll let you
have this liMe gem for $1.50."
^3WH8IPili'PP4)*w',,w,'u,'",
NAYLOh
BEMIDJI, MINNESOTA
i
KNEW WHEN TO QUIT.
Judge Promptly Saw the Point in Pol
itician's Advice.
One of the most hospitable citizens
of Sioux Falls was Judge Fuller of
the Supreme Court. He was intro
duced to the president's attention
with the following incident of his
career
The judges made a strong campaign
to get the legislature to raise their
salaries. The bill met with great op
position. Judge Fuller, who had no
small political influence, went up to
Pierre to see about it. He was met
by one of the leaders of the party.
"How about this thing?" said the
judge.
"Judge," said the other politician,
gravely, "you better drop this salary
business. I tell you as a friend. You
don't want it to go through. It is not
in your interest.".
~*'Why- aia't U&L Ej ,.:.r
"Don't you see, judge," explained
the politician, "that if we put the sal
aries of the judges up to the figure
you want, the people will turn around
and elect real lawyers to the bench."
The point of the story is that the
judge dropped the amendment at
once.New York Sun.
A REMNANT OF OLD NEWGATE.
Where Savage Torture Was Inflicted
in Ancient Times.
The most notorious part of the
whole structureand which yet re
mainwas the press yard. Here it
was that peine forte et dure was in
flicted upon prisoners charged with
felony who, with the view of saving
their property from confiscation, re
fused to plead at the bar. This dread
ful punishment of being pressed to
death was, however, abolished in
1772. A Major Strangways, who was
indicted for murder, having refused
to plead, was condemned to this sav
age peine forte et dure. He died in
eight minutes, ar many of those who
witnessed the dreadful sight threw
stones at him to hasten his end.
Her Equanimity Disturbed.
one occasion Mrs. Patrick Camp
bell was playing in "The Trumpet
Call" at a London theater. In the
middle of a strenuous scene the audi
ence was horrified to see that the
skirt of her dress had "come undone."
It slipped until it had almost reached
her knees before Mrs. Campbell
noticed it. Then she grabbed and
pulled back the garment, at the same
time fairly hypnotizing the spectators
with her blazing black eyes. The
act was concluded somewhat hur
riedly and the orchestra was instruct
ed to play fortissimo in order to
drown the remarks Mrs. Campbell
was addressing to her maid.
Bear Worshipers in Japan.
The queerest .and perhaps the old
est people of the earth are the Ainos,
the bear idolaters, who are found in
the Japanese islands of Kovrlles, Sah
kalino and chiefly in Yezo or Hon
naido. They number not more than
18,000 souls in all and they are fast
disappearing. They have the broad
nose and the obliqu eyes, which char
acterize the Chinese and Asiatic races
generally, but there the resemblance
ends. The Ainos are a large and
powerful people, straight as an arrow.
All the Ainos declare they sprang
from the Great White Dogthe bear
and a princess of the south. The
bear is their chief god.
The Philosopher Wondered.
An Englishman used to meet the
great philosopher Arthur Schoppen
hauer every morning walking with hia
ugly poodle along the promenade
1n Frankfort-on-the-Main. Schoppen
hauer's eccentric appearance, deeply
immersed in thought, excited the Eng
lishman's curiosity to such an extent
that one day he could contain himself
no longer, and, walking up to the
philosopher, adddressed him abruptly
thus: "Tell me, sir, who, in the name
of fate, are you?" "Ah!" Schoppen
hauer replied, "I only wish I knew
that myself."
Had Missed Him.
When a shot was fired in the wings
of an opera-house during the third
act of "Carmen" on Zelie de Lussan's
opening night in San Francisco a dis
appointed spectator, who considered
Tennery's Don Jose about "the limit,"
remarked with a sigh of relief,
"Thank God." Those about him, who
shaied his feelings, snickered sympa
thetically. But their smiles were
turned to peals of laughter when Don
Jose presently bobbed up serenely,
and the talkative wag exclaimed trag
ically: "Ye gods, her aim was bad.
She missed him!"
New Universal Language.
"Esperanto," an artificial language
made by Dr. L. Zamenhof for a uni
versal language, has gained 80,000 ad
herents, among them members of the
French Institute, professors in conti
nental universities, Count Tolstoi and
W. T. Stead. Its object, as stated by
a writer in Le Monde Moderne, Paris,
is: "To furnish people who need to
communicate with foreignerstravel
ers, scientists and business menthe
way to a mutual understanding with
out necesity of resorting to the study
of many foreign languages."
The Young Critics' Idea.
Friends of E. J. Couse, the artist,
are laughing over a remark "made
by some seminary girls who attend
ed an exhibition where his picture,
"The Peace Pipe," took the Hallgar
ten prize. "I like that Couse canvas
better than anything I've looked at,"
said one, "and I want mamma to
come and see it." "Which one was
that?" her friend inquired. "Oh I
That Peace-Pipe Dream/' was the rs
ply.
Teetotallam In Texas.
When Gen. Horace Porter was in
Texas he came t-rcse a man who
went about telling everybody, in great
surprise, that he "had struck a big
thing here." "What's the matter?"
people aeked. "Why," he answered,
"I was sent down here by a temper
ance society in Kansas to distribute
these tracts. Well, whenever I hand
ed a man a tract he glanced over it,
hauled out a revolver from one pocket
and a quart bottle of whisky from
the other and then said: 'Look here,
you just have a drink of that, or my
gun'll go off.' Would you believe it!
I haven't had to pay for a drop of
liquor since I came here to distribute
teetotal tracts."
Not Looking for Notoriety.
No author of the day has been less
photographed than Joseph Conrad,
who has just published a book pf sea
stories. His'~ publishers, whten"- his
book was about to come out, having
failed to persuade him to face the
camera for a new picture, hunted high
and low throughout England and
America for som sort of likeness.
Finally, in the files of an old English
illustrated magazine, someone stum
bled upon a small oval head of him,
and it is from that half-tone, enlarged
and retouched, that all pictures of
Conrad recently published have been
made.
Beltrami Avenue.
BUY A LOT
IN THE.
NEW TOWNSITE OF
MALLARD
LOCATED ON
MALLARD LAKE.CLEARWATER COUNTY
F. O. SIBLEY
PROPRIETOR
SOLWAY
MINN
First Class Sample Room.
MAC'S MINT
Geo. McTaggart, Prop.
Choice Wines, Liquors
and Cigars.
Few Cattre Die in Transit.
Live cattle are so carefully stalled*
on board ship that out of 12,000
brought from Montreal to Lu ool
last year by a single firm the lo a
less than 1 per cent.
Pierpont Morgan's Success,
Pierpont Morgan, who celebrated
his sixty-sixth birthday recently,
achieved his greatest business suc
cesses since he reached the three
score mark. He first became promi
nent in the financial world about
twenty jears ago, when he went to
Europe and successfully sold $25,000,-
000 worth of New York Central stock.
This made the old financiers gasp.
By this piece of work Mr. Morgan
won th "^sting friendship of the late
William K. Vanderbilt and incidentally
cleared $1,000,000 for himself.
Missed His Calling.
An Italian has, beep discovered on.
a fruit ranch at Riverside, working
for $1.50 per day, who proves to be
an artist in sculpture of the highest
rank, and he has been set to work
completing the stucco finishing of the
interior of the Carnegie library build
ing. H-TJ name is Luigi Ianni, and
the only words in English he can
use are "You bet" He is now at
work on some Corinthian columns of
original design that are marvels as
works of art.Los Angeles Herald.
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Choicest Brands.
Bemidji, Minn.
