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NOT A FOLYGAMIST.
How Bishop Potter Filled Out an Of
An army officer just returned from
the Philippines tells this story on
When the bishop went out to Ma
nila a year or two ago, on his arrival
at the islands he was confronted by
a formidable list of about thirty
questions. The list, prepared by
Uncle Sam for Chinese and native
Filipinos was nevertheless bubmit
ted impartially to all comers.
Gravely the bishop, as became hla
respect of forms, wrote down his
name, age, occupation, place of birth.
He did not even smile as he wrote
"No" opposite the question "Have you
But the last question was too much.
look of mock pain crossed his fea
"Must I answer- this?" he asked the
The examiner nodded.
And in the space opposite "Are
you a polygamist?" the biahop grave
ly wrote "Not yet."
BEASTS BORN IN CAPTIVITY.
Those That First See the Light In
Bristol, England, Ar the Best.
The birth of a litter of lions at
Haslemere Park, a private menagerie
\n England, leads one of the English
papers to note a fact that has for long
puzzled biologists, and that is notori
ous among those who interest them
selves in the study of wild beasts in
captivity, this being that nearly all the
lion, tiger and leopard cubs born In
that country have a cleit palate, which
prevents them from beins properly
suckled, and usually leads to their
premature death. But, beyond this, 8
more astonishing fact stilland one
that also greatly puzzles biologistsis
that which determines that of all the
wild animals born in England those
born in Bristol are regarded as the
finest and as the most likely to live.
So well known is this to professional
Khowmen and menagerie keepers that
"Bristol born" is a recognized brand in
tj&a wild animal trade
FILARIA 18 A NEW DISEASE.
Responsible for the Death of Many
Capt Charles Kieeffer, a United
States army surgeon, saye the Phil
ippines are infested with mosquitoes
more troublesome and dangerous from
a medical point of view than those
that swarm in the Jersey swamps. A
strange malady known as fllaria is
traced directly to them, and is com
mon among the American soldiers
quartered on the islands. Soldiers
contract the disease by drinking
water from stagnant pools in which
the mosquitoes have laid their eggs.
The first indication of filaria ap
pears in the form of a worm in the
victim's thorax. This develops into
elephantiasis, which causes the pa
tient terrible pains, accompanied by
a constant cough. The sufferer is
worst at night, and the patient be
comes a prey to insomnia.
The only remedy lies in an opera
tion, which in itself is dangerous and
rarely successful. If the worm, which
is a female, is injured and dies
through the operation, its poison gets
Into the blood, the disease is increased
a thousandfold and the chances of re
covery are small.
For Those With Stomach Habit
A Philadelphia baker is authority
for the assertion that the latest fad
of dyspeptics is bread made with sea
water, instead of fresh water. "It
has a saltier taste," he says, "than
we are accustomed to, but it is very
palatable. In fact, he who likes salty
things is apt to like it hotter than
the other kind of bread. A physician
asked me about three morths ago to
make some of this bread for his
patients. At first I made six loaves
a day, but now I make thirty. My sea
water comes up to me from Atlantic
City three times a week. The dys
peptics who buy the bread say it la
the only kind they can eat freih
Lesson in Chaplain Milburn's Life.
It was of the late William H. Mil
burn, the blind preacher chaplain
of the house, and afterward of the
Senate, that William R. Morrison
once said: "Mr. Milburn is a man
who fears Cod, hates the devil and
votes the straight ticket." Mr. MI1-
burn's life illustrates what one can
do in the face of hardships. He was
totally blind before becoming of age,
but became a Methodist clergyman,
successful lecturer and author, keep
ing at his work untii a few months
before his death at the age of eighty.
The newspapers were read to him
very day and he kept fully posted on
Mrs. Morgan Not Fashlonaoie.
Mrs. J. Pierpont Morgan was "the
Cjnosure of all eyes" at the recent
lection of the Colonial Dames at New
York. Contrary to the expectations
f those who did not know her it was
found that she dresses simply and
her cloth gown looked rusty. Her
black hat was small and shapeless
and a thick veil covered her face. The
decision of the women who saw her
was embraced in the word "frumpy*
Mrs. Morgan's disposition is exceed
ingly retiring and whenever Bhe ap
pears in public she seems ill at ease.
Point of vrew.
"Hope springs eternal in the human
breast," remarked the person with a
mania for quotations.
"Yes," rejoined the morbid party.
"and I suppose that's why the pool of
disappointment is always slopping
8H DID NOT DRINK.
And Consequently Did Not Need First
American pushfulness is an unlim
ited quantity. The women are as ir
repressible in society as the men lv
commerce. A (jrtain visitor to th*
Riviera found tnis out recently. He
was occupying first floor rooms at a
well-known hotel. An of a sudden,
without any introduction or. prelim
inary, a note was brought, to him
signed by the wife of a well-known
American millionaire. It asked him
whetner he would object to giving up
his rooms to her niece. He was much
amazed, but wrote back inquiring
whether the niece drank. Mrs.
wrote in reply, in surprise and indig
nation, winding up with an emphatic
statement that her niece did not
drink. Lord concluded with
the following note: "Lord re
grets that ho cannot give up his first
floor rooms to Mrs. 's niece,
for-he is convinced that, as the young
lady does not drink, it is very much
easier for her to get up stairs than it
is for Lord ."London Tat
A NEW BOILED DINNEA*
Little One's Astonishment Natural Un
der the Circumstances.
"I have a little niece," said the ra
conteur of the Sewing Circle, "who
is never so happy as when she is al
lowed to visit the kitchen and watch
the servants at work. Fortunately,
her mother has good-natured servants
who rather enjoy having the child
around, so many are the charmed
hours which Jessie spends downstairs
making little pies under the cook's
superintendence, and pretending she
"The other day she descended to the
laundry to oversee the family wash in
her busy little way. She gave one
look of utter astonishment as Mary
put on the clothes to boil, and then
to her mother, ex
'Oh, mamma! What, do you think?
Mary's cooking the clothes for din-
ner!"*New York Times.
The Cosmopolitan says the longevity
of the medical man is materially less
than that of workers of other profes
sions. Only those with a sound
physique, other things being equal,
can win in a struggle for success. The
sick look with confidence to the well.
1'ney demand the hearty dogmatism
that con.es from the overflowing of
animal spirits. They enjoy the cheer
ful optimism that comes from a good
digestion. They lean upon the doc
tor in their weakness and yield willing
obedience to his kindly influence.
Much of cfie power possessed for good
may be outside of pills or potions, cor
rect theories or sound deductions.
A class in a Sunday school was list
ening to a lesson on patience. The
topic had been carefully explained, and
as an aid to understanding the teach
er had given each pupil a card bearing
the picture of a boy fishing. "Even
pleasure," said she, "requires the exer
cise of patience. Look at the boy fish
ing! He must sit and wait and wait.
He must be patient." Having treated
the subject very fully, she began with
the simplest, most practical question:
"And now cast any .little boy tell me
what we need most v/hen we go fish-
ing?" With one voice was the answer
The correspondent of a London pa
per, writing from British South Afri
ca, says the Kaffirs are bound to in
crease In population more rapidly
than the whites, whom they already
greatly outnumber, and, being barred
from work in many cases by the im
portation of cheap labor from India
and forced to leave their land hold
ings, which they retain only under
lease from the Boers, to whom it has
been allotted, and under liability of
eviction, a serious uprising of the na
tives is not beyond the possibilities o/
the near future.
Teetotallem In Texas.
When Gen. Horace Porter was In
Texas he came across a man who
went about telling everybody, in great
surprise, that he "had struck a big
thing here." "What's the matter?"
people asked. "Why," he answered,
"I was sent down here by a temper
ance society in Kansas to distribute
these tracts. Well, whenever I hand
ed a man a tract he glanced over it,
hauled out a revolver from one pocket
and a quart bottle of whisky from
the other and then said: 'Look here,
you just have a drink of that, or my
gun'll go off.' Would you believe it!
I haven't had to pay for a drop of
liquor since I came here to distribute
Not Looking for Notoriety.
No author of the day has been less
photographed than Joseph Conrad,
who has just published a book of sea
stories. His publishers, when his
book was about to come out, having
failed to persuade him to face the
camera for a new picture, hunted high
and low throughout England and
America for soir sort of Hkenesa
Finally, in the files of an old English
illustrated magazine, someone stum
bled upon a small oval head of him,
and it is fiom that half-tone, enlarged
and retouched, that all pictures of
Conrad recently published have been
Light-Haired People Live Long.
Light-haired people, it is said, as
a rale live longer than those having
SOLD HIS 8HOOTINQ BOOTS.
Man Fooled His Wife on the Price,
But the Reeu!t-Was Sad.
Banks knew very well that he could
not afford to pay $20 for a pair of
shooting boots, but he reasoned with
himself, after the sophistical manner
of those who knew the joys 3 ex
travagance, that his twice-a-year trip
to his Long Island club for two days
of duck shooting was really the only
luxury he allowed himself and his
economies in other directions deserv
So Banks bought the boots, and
told his wife a nice little story about
a friend who had struck a bargain in
boots and had let him have a pair
"for practically nothing." The boots
were not worth much anyhow, he
carelessly explained, and congratulat
ed himself on having safely and
sagaciously handled a delicate situa
When Banks came back from his
next shooting trip he was tired and
sleepy, and threw his new boots, all
muddy as they were, into a closet, to
be cleaned when he should have more
"And what do you think happened
to those boots!" he said two days
later to a group of sympathetls
friends on 'change. "A junk peddler
came around the next day and my
wife sold him my $20 boots for fifty
cents. She knew they were of no
special value, as I had said so,' and
thought she'd done well to get fifty
cents for them."
"And what did you say?" asked one
man, betwixt pity and amusement.
"Say? What could I say? I be
came hysterical."New York Mail
International Rifle Shoot.
In the competition under the man
agement of the English National RiflS
Association for the- Palma trophy at
Bisley, each team must have eight
members, who shall use the national
military arm of the country it repre
sents, each member to have fifteen
shots, without artificial rest, at 800,
at 900 and at 1,000 yards, the bulls-eye
being thirty-six inches across.
Nearly Drowned in Cider.
Leo de Mille, a young farmer of
Geneva, N. Y., was just starting to
empty some cider from one barrel in
to another when the bung flew out,
striking him in the eye and render
ing him unconscious. The contents
of the barrel followed and the ycung
man was nearly drowned before he
could be rescued.
Veteran Actress in Splendid Health.
Fanny Herring, the actress who
charmed the audience of the Old Bow
ery Theater thirty or forty years ago,
celebrated her seventy-first bithday
recently. After nearly fifty years on
the stage she retired to her farm in
Connecticut, where she now lives in
the best of health.
Pierpont Morgan's Success.
Pierpont Morgan, who celebrated
his sixty-sixth birthday ieCently,
achieved his greatest business suc
cesses since he reached the three
score rcarJc He first became promi
nent in tho financial world about
twenty /easa ago, when he went to
Europe aad successfully sold $25,000,-
000 worth of New York Central stock.
Vhis made the old financiers gasp.
By this piece of work Mr. Morgan
won the 'stin friendship of the late
William n. Yaiderbilt and incidentally
cleared 1.000,090 lor himself.
Missed His Calling.
An Italian has been discovered on
a fruit ranch at Riverside, working
for $1.50 per day, who proves to be
an artist in sculpture of the highest
rank, and he has been set to work
completing the stucco finishing of the
interior of the Carnegie library build
ing. Ii.e name is Luigi Ianni, and
the only words in English he can
use are "You bet." He is now at
work on some Corinthiaen columns of
original design =4hat
works of art.Lossangeles Herald.
"Robbery," a New Magazine.
A magazine has been started is
Belgium to chronicle the doings of
the criminal world. It is called "Rob-
bery," and will appear quarterly. It
will contain accounts of famous
thefts in days gone by side by side
with descriptions of the most up to
date methods employed by thieves,
burglars, etc., though it is not to be,
so far as known an organ of the
trade. Space will be also devoted to
illustrating the various tools and in
sin: used by the craft on noc
turnal excursions in town and coun
"Sized Up'* His Man.
"Brother" Sheldon, author of
His Steps," has a sense of humor. Ha
tells this story on himself of a younsj
couple who applied to him to be mar
ried. He performed the ceremony
with due solemnity and congratulated
the bride. Then he observed the
bridegroom searching through hia
pockets and looking a bit humiliated
and ashamed. "I am afraid, parson,'"
he said, "that I ain't got any money
to pay you with." Then, after a mo
ment of deep thought, looking up
cheerfully, he added: **ut I can
tell you how to fix your gas meter so
it wont register."
Pessimism in the Sunny South.
Glory Is but a transient dream that
gives color to a sleep bespangled witla
Illusions of greatness a mirage, glit
tering, but unsubstantial, hovering
above the oasis in the desert of life
at whose fountain many a weary trav
eler would quench his burning thirst
that he may press on to grander
heights.Roanoke, Va., Times.
The Art of the Palmist.
The girl who was the picture of
health came out of the palmist's
ftootfi with"-a startled expression on
her face. "Do you know," she said
to a bevy of girl friends"do you
krow, that palmist told me I was in
perfect health. Now. you know, I'm
never ill but how could he tell that
from looking at my hand?" And her
iiienda murmured, "How wonderful!"
6pread of Irrigation Works.
The government is to begin the con
struction of irrigation works in five
localities. The Sweetwater dam, Wy
oming Mill river, Montana the Gun
nison tunnel, Colorado Truckee, Nev.,
and Salt river, Arizona. The cost of
the five plants is estimated at $7,000,-
000 and they are expected to furnish
water for 00,000 acres.
In the primary class of a certain
Sunday school the lesson was being
reviewed by a visitor. When she
finally asked for the Golden Text, a
little boy on the back row eagerly
raised his hard and proudly repeated:
"We carrot serve God and women."
Monster Cake a Feature.
At the ninety-ninth birthday cele
bration of the Bible Society at the
Guildhall, London, a few days ago
the cake weighed ninety-nine pounds.
The cake is an institution among the
Juvenile collectors, and a pound is
added to its weight every year.
THE COLDEST WINTER-
Somewhat Remarkable Experience In
In a little wayside ina a small
station some fifty miles west of Du
luth a half-dozen men from various
places chanced to meet recently.
The conversation opened with a
remark concerning the weather, and
from that drifted easily to the se
verity of winters in the different
parts of the Northwest.
One man, who came from the Twin
Cities, told a sad story of frozen
water pipes and other household in
conveniences occasioned by the frigid
weather there one February.
Another recounted a tale of suffer
ing endured by men and beasts on a
North Dakota prairie during a bliz
Stories were thus told until five
of the group had contributed in
stances upon the subject
There was a pause In the conver
sion until an Irishman, who sat a
little apart from the others, quietly
smoking a pipe, remarked: "Well, the
coldest winter Oi iver put in was
summer In Duluth.
Full of Absentees.
There was a larger attendance than
nsual in the "Amer
corner" at the
Fifth Avenue hotel last night, and
these we"e some of the interesting
stories told: "Judge Gildersleeve," re
marked George W. Wanamaker, "was
telling the other night of a laughable
'bull' made by Maj. Leach, once fa
mous as the head of the Irish rifle
team. The judge was visiting in Ire
land and remarked: 'Major, is it true
that much of the trouble in this little
country of yours is caused by ab
sentee landlords?' 'It is, sir,' re
sponded the major. *Sure, our little is
land is full of them.'"New York
Mail and Express.
The One Thing Wrong.
A foreigner went into one of Bos
ton's bis hotels one Sunday morning
not long ago and asked for a typical
Boston breakfast. After some con
ference with the head waiter an espe
cially nice breakfast was served, in
cluding of course codfish balls, brown
bread and pork and beans. The visitor
ate with apparent relish, but after
some minutes summoned his man.
"These beans are delicious," he said,
"and the coffee could not be better,
but"pointing to the codfish ball
"you may remove the little bun.
There appear* to be oomething dead
Historic Portrait Spoiled.
Among the best portraits in the
white house previous to the recent
"renovation' was that of Mrs. Benja
min Harrison by Daniel Huntington,
for many years America's foremost
portrait painter. In the "restoration"
this portrait has been rehung to suit
some modern interpretation of the
alleged original plan of the mansion
by George Washington:' In doing this
the paint has been scratched and
scraped, and in some important spaces
has been knocked off entirely. Worse
than this, a hole about three inches
long has been punched in the canvas.
Pleasure in Doing Good.
Rev. A. P. Doyle of New Yortc rfr
marked the other day: "A womaa who
has an abundance of the good thing*
of this world appreciates them all the
more when she tries to uplift tha
fallen or bring comfort to the heart
broken, and it sweetens her enjoyment
of God's gifts. On the other hand,
there is no more useless creature oa
Ood' earth than the woaan of waaltfe
ihrM for herself alon*"
Columbia Is No More.
Crookston, Minn., May 14. The
writ of ouster has been served on the
Columbia county officials, and that or
ganization has ceased to exist. The
papers were served yesterday by Sher
iff Sullivan of Polk county.
His Suicide Succeeds.
Hastings. Minn., May 14.The man
who attempted suicide near Etter a
few days ago died last evening at the
hospital here. He said he was Edward
Coffey and was of Mexican and Ameri
First Class Sample Room.
The Sign Man
Is here to stay, and is prepared to do all
kinds of UTD-to-datePainting, Paperhang
ing, Free Hand Relief Work, ELalsomin
AL WOR IS GUARANTEED
DON'T FORGET TO SEE HIM BEFORE LETTING
YOUR JOB. HE CAN SAVE YOU MONEY.
LEAVE ORDERS AT BEAUDETTE'S TAILOR SHOP.
C. D. STEECE
THE SIGN MAN
""V ""^~V 1
Geo. McTaggart, Prop.
Choice Wines, Liquors
The Celebrated Scientific
Palmist and Clairvoyant
Has arrived and remains a short time only. The
Professor is recognized by press and public as the
foremost and most able Scientific Palmist and
Clairvoyant before the American public, and he
especially invites those to call who have been dis-
appointed or deceived in the past by some incompe
tent personthey will notice the difference be-
tween an adept and a pretender.
HRE YOU I N TROUBLE?
Do you find that with all of your natural gifts and talents that
you are baffled, discouraged and unsuccessful? If so, come and be
advised and find out the cause of your bad luck, and how you can
change your bad conditions to success, joy and happiness. Thous-
ands live today to bless and give credit of their success and happi-
ness to this wonderful man. Are you sick? If so, come to me
and I will tell you free of charge what ails you. I do not give medi-
cine, but tell you how to be cured without asking a single question.
Come and be convinced. Palmistry and Clairvoyant taught.
Prof. Seaton is located at
Roo 8 Remore Hotel
REED & KNUTS0N
& KNUTSON have opened a blacksmith and wagon shop one
door south of The Pioneer, ani are prepared to handle any and
all work in their line and guarantee satisfaction to all comers. Mr.
Reed makes a specialty of horseshoeing and general blacksmith work,
and his work is too well known to need any introduction to the people
of this vicinity.
Mr. Knutson has been in the employ of the St. Hilaire Lumber
company for four years, and comes well recommended by that company.
Give the new firm a chance to show you what
they can do, and you will not be disappointed
REED & KNUTSON
Second door south of postoffice, BEMIDJI, MINN.
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