Newspaper Page Text
How Relief from Distressing Kidnoy
Trouble Was Found.
Mrs. Elizabeth Wolf, 38S W. Morgan
St., Tipton, Mo., says: "Inflammation
reached its climax
last spring and I suf
fered terribly. My
a a he a
pained so I could
hardly get around
and the secretions
were scanty, fre
quent of passage
and painful. I was
tired all the time and very nervous. I
began using Doan's Kidney Pills, and
after taking a few boxes was cured
and have been well ever since."
Remember the name—Doan's. Sold
by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster
tiilburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
Taking the Tips.
"Why did Dollarby sell his hotel?"
"He wasn't making money fast
"What is he doing now?"
"He's luxuriating in the position of
SAVE THIS RECIPE FOB COLDS
"Mix half pint of good whiskey with
two ounces of glycerine and add one*
ba'f ounce Concentrated pine com
pound. The bottle is to be well shaken
each time and used in doses of a tea
spoonful to a tablespoonful every four
bours." Any druggist has these ingre
dients or he will get them from his
wholesale house. The Concentrated
pine is a special pine product and
comes only in half ounce bottles, each
enclosed in an air-tight case, but be
sure it is labeled "Concentrated." This
Is one of the best and quickest reme*
dies known to science.
Landlady—This is a bronze turkey.
Starboard—Ah, I see survivor from
the bronze age.
Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that
In Use For Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
WANTED IT FOR HAIR WASH
No Trouble at All for Retired Singer
to Account for the Carbolic
"I was on my way home one night,"
said the retired baritone, according to
Illustrated Bits, "and the hour was
late. As I turned a corner at a lonely
spot a wild-eyed man stepped out in
front of me. In his right hand he
carried a pistol and in his left a
gleaming knife. With a low, mocking
laugh he thrust his burly form athwart
my path, and said:
'At last I have you in my power.
I have sworn to kill the first man I
met after 3 a. m. You are he—also
it Would you rather be shot or
"Immediately I saw I had to do with
a madman. Quick thought was neces
sary. Right there and then my long
training stood me well in hand. Tak
ing a pint bottle of carbolic acid
from my overcoat pocket, I remarked,
'Old scout, I greet thee as a friend.
Kill me if thou wilt, but first let us
drink success to the crime.'
"It made a hit with the bug. He
grabbed the bottle and took a swallow
like a stage hand. As he fell writh
ing on the sidewalk I stepped over his
body and continued on my way."
"How did you happen to have a bot
tle of carbolic acid with you?" asked
the incredulous 'press agent.
"I was taking it home to put on my
hair," answered the retired baritone.
The consul in London of a continen
tal kingdom was informed by his gov
ernment that one of his country
women, supposed to be living in Great
Britain, had been left a million of
money. After advertising without re
sult, he applied to the police, and a
smart young detective was set to
When a few weeks had gone by his
chief asked him how he was going on.
"I've found the lady, sir."
"Good! Where is she?"
"At my place. I got married to bet
The little girl was acting naughtily
before company. Her mother warned
"If you do that again, I'll smack
you," she said.
"No you won't," replied the pert
daughter. "I'll sit down on myself and
then you can't."
Certain Habits Unconsciously Formed
and Hard to Break.
An Ingenious philosopher estimates
that the amount of will power neces
sary to break a life-long habit would,
if it could be transformed, lift a weight
of many tons.
It sometimes requires a higher de
gree of heroism to ^break the chains of
a pernicious habit than to lead a for
lorn hope in a bloody battle. A lady
writes from an Indiana town:
"From my earliest childhood I was a
lover of coffee. Before I was out of my
teens I was a miserable dyspeptic, suf
fering terribly at times with my stom
"I was convinced that It was coffee
that was causing the trouble and yet
I could not deny myself a cup for
breakfast. At the age of 36.1 was in
very poor health, indeed. My sister
told me I was in danger of becoming
a coffee drunkard.
"But I never could give up drinking
coffee for breakfast, although it kept
me constantly ill, until I tried Postum.
I learned to make it properly according
to directions, and now we can hardly
do without Postum for breakfast, and
care nothing for coffee.
"I am no longer troubled with dys
pepsia, do not have spells of suffering
with my stomach that used to trouble
me so when I drank coffee."
Look in pkgs. for the little book,
Road to Wellville." "There's a Reason."
read the above letter? A aew
appears from tla* time. TMy
are seautae, traa, aaA tall fcneair
When Purdon's Three-Ring Circus
and Unmentionably Great Menagerie
was in town about a month ago, it
happened to be here on Thursday, and
Rev. Ebenezer was greatly angered
to find that when he opened prayer
meeting that night he had the meeting
entirely to himself, and he decided
that as the Egyptians—so to speak—
had spoiled his meeting, he would
wreak vengeance on them and spoil
the Egyptians. As the circus had
moved on to Billingsville that night,
Rev. Ebenezer harnessed up his
mare Rebecca, and drove over, and
on the way over he made up his mind
how he would spoil the Egyptians.
Rev. Mr. Spillgath is noted in this
county as one of the most progressive
and slick horse traders on earth, and
he decided he would spoil the Egyp
tions in a horse trade. He was not
aware, at that time, he says, that the
Egyptians were just spoiling to be
The next morning Rev. Ebenezer
harnessed Moses and started on one
of his accustomed tours of mercy and
business, since his salary compels him
to peddle watermelons between his
stops at the homes of the sick and
soul-sad, and all went well until he
reached Main street. Here he paused
and entered into a controversy with
Alderman Bud Winters, on the merits
of free liquor as against the mulct tax,
when, suddenly, Moses arose upon his
hind legs, and stood gracefully bal
anced thus. It was a thrilling scene
—Alderman Winters scooting else
where Rev. Ebenezer exiting from
his buggy head first, and Moses stand
ing on his hind legs. All this, set
against the back-ground of the Bank
rupt Store and the post office made
one of the pictures that will go down
in the history of Betzville forever.
As soon as Rev. Ebenezer regained
his composure he examined Moses,
and a very superficial -examination
proved that Moses was still standing
on his rear legs. Nothing that Rev.
Ebenezer could do would bring the
horse to any other posture. The horse
seemed to want to stand that way,
and so it stood that way. If Rev.
Ebenezer ever became angry he came
near it then, but a whip seemed to do
not a bit of good, and when, with his
patience quite exhausted, Rev. Eben
ezer entered his buggy and whipped
up, Moses went his way on his hind
legs. Many said it was as good as a
That night Moses slept in his stall
on his hind legs, while Rev. Ebenezer
lay awake wondering what had caused
the beast to act in this strange way.
By daylight he decided that some
word said in the presence of the horse
must have been a signal for the act,
and he proceeded to the barn and re
peatfd to the horse, as nearly as pos
sible, what he had said to Alderman
Winters. Nothing worth chroni
cling happened, and with a sad heart
Rev. Ebenezer harnessed the upright
horse and went his way.
At the corner of Main and Cross
streets he met a large body of clti-
BETZVUTE TALES S
Rev. Ebenezer Spillgath and Moses
By Ellis Parker
Author oFPitjs is Pids" Efc
ILLUSTRATED By PETER NEWELL
Rev. Ebenezer Spillgath of Betz
ville is in serious trouble with his
congregation at present, and it all
goes to show that one should not be
too forward in the good work of smit
ing the wicked. It is all right to smite
the wicked, for that is all the wicked
are good for, but any one desiring to
smite should be careful not to pick
out a wicked that will smite back.
When Rev. Ebenezer returned to
Many Said It Was as Good as a Circus
Betzville Friday evening he no longer
drove Rebecca, but a white horse, and
he wore' a smile lhat informed one
and all that he felt he had success
fully spoiled the Egyptians and that
he had spoiled them good and hard.
Many were the congratulations he re
ceived from Uncle Ashdod Clute and
other prominent citizens of Betzville,
and he announced that it was his in
tention to call the horse, hitherto bear
ing the sinful name of Skeezicks, by
the more appropriate name of Moses.
zens, all much interested, among
whom was Alderman Bud Winters,
and resuming the discussion of the
day before, Alderman Winters ex
pressed himself in his usual free and
profane way. In the midst of the dis
cussion Moses suddenly up ended him
self, with his rear legs in the air. and
and stood on his front hoofs. In vain
did Rev. Ebenezer speak to the brute
he was compelled at last to continue
his rounds with Moses walking on
his fore feet. That night, and six
nights thereafter, Moses slept in his
stall with his rear roofs against the
rafters, and whenever Rev. Ebenezer
went for a drive he was followed by
a horde of interested parties. It was
Nothing that Rev. Ebenezer could
do seemed to have any effect on
Moses, and the sight of the minister
of the gospel driving a horse that was
a permanent circus caused consider
able scandal in these part. Aunt
Rhinocolura Betz, who is one of the
best contributors in the congregation,
gave notice that she was going to
withdraw, and other leading society
folks followed her example.
It was then that Rev. Ebenezer,
driven to desperation, sent for Alder
man Bud Winters. He had tried
everything in his own vocabulary un
availingly, but the moment Alderman
Winters opened his luxurious store of
cuss words the effect on Moses was
instantaneous. For each variety of
oath Moses performed a different act,
and the only difficulty seemed to be
that Alderman Winters did not have
in stock the particular kind of swear
that would make Moses act like a
regular horse. The nearest he came
to it was when he said, "Blankety
blankety, your blank hide!" At this
Moses did a cake walk on four legs,
and Rev. Ebenezer had to be satis
fied with that. It was better than
having a horse walk on its hands. But
Rev. Ebenezer is a man of bulldog
tenacity, and he Is having Bud Wil
liams come up to the barn every night
and swear at Moses. He hopes some
day Alderman Winters will swear
Moses into a regulation horse.
The trouble is that the congregation
knows it, and they are trying to de
cide whether they shall discharge Rev.
Ebenezer for having profane language
fired off by order in his barn, or dis
charge him for having a horse that
does the cake walk.
(Copyright, 1909, by W. Q. Chapman.)
Found New Tribe of Eskimos.
Word has come to the Smithsonian
Institution in Washington of the dis
covery of a brand-new tribe of Eski
mos. They were found by W. J. Bow
er, an Arctic explorer, who came into
San Francisco on the Jeannette. The
tribe, according to Bower, lives on a
point of Prince Albert Land. The na
tives call themselves Nunacaotics.
They are tall and look like the North
American Indians. The explorer was
cordially welcomed, and he got many
rich furs from them. From the town
of the Nunacaotics Bower proceeded
farther north, where he discovered
immense copper deposits. On this
trip Bower lost one eye through the
bite of a spider. After the eyeball
had been removed by the crude sur
gery of an Eskimo the schooner used
by the party was wrecked and the
adventurers had to walk 130 miles to
Point Barrow, where they were taken
on board the Jeannette.
Output of Precious Metals.
It is impossible to give an absolute,
ly accurate statment of the gold and
silver output of earth's mines. The
European stock of precious metals
before 1850, including the flow of
wealth from Mexico and Peru, amount
ed to over $9,500,000,000. Then came
the almost fabulous wealth of Cali
fornia and Australia. Tbe greatest
output of gold in California was ir
1853, |6S,000-.000. and in Australia fa
ANIMALS THROWN TO SHARKS
KEEP SEA MONSTERS
RESCUED IN NICK OF TIME
"Spooks" on the Freighter Also Form
Another Thrilling Experience
for the Crew of the British
New "York.—Feeding live sheep to
sharks to keep the sea monsters away
from a sailor who had fallen over
board, pending his rescue, was one of
the exciting incidents of the long
voyage of the British freighter Erroll,
from the orient to New York with
the usual valuable cargo of eastern
The rescue occurred while the
steamship was between Labaun and
Colombo, in the Bay of Bengal. One
of the native sailors, Mart Kasa, had
tumbled into the bay wtyle adjusting
gear on deck. No sooner had he
struck the water than a school of
sharks came up and made for the spot
where Lascar had taken his involun
With rare presence of mind Kasa's
shipmates liberated a sheep from one
of the cages forward and tumbled it
over the side. The sharks swept
down on the sheep in a twinkling, and
there was not a vestige of the animal
left before the Erroll could stop. Then
a second sheep was hurled over the
side by the natives as a life boat
was lowered and the race for Kasa,
swimming toward the small boat, be
The sharks turned their attention
to the swimming native with the dis
appearance of the last morsel of sheep
No. 2, but the Erroll's small boat won
in the race and Kasa was hauled
aboard at the instant the foremost
of the sharks was turning and diving
prepaartory to the final crunch on his
Spooks, believed to be in the for
ward hold of the freighter, formed an*
other diversion for the superstitious
natives in the forecastle. The men
got the notion that evil gods were
hidden in a quantity of oriental curios
taken on at Colombo. These consist
ed of tusks, skeletons of wild animals
and queer arms used by natives in
their oriental warfares. A crash be
low the hatch the second night out
from Colombo caused the assembled
Lascars to scramble to quarters, and
there they held a powwow which re
sulted in a demand being made on
Capt. James that the forward hold
be examined for "spooke."
Capt. James has had many queer
things in the hundreds of cargoes ho
The Sharks Swept Down on the Sheep
in a Tumbling Mass.
has safely brought to the United
tttates from the far east, but he de
clared emphatically that "spooks" had
never been on any ship of his except
once, when a lack of sobriety on the
part of a second mate took the shape
The Lascars were not appeased,
however, until the hatch was raised
and everything shown to be in shape
below. The crash they had heard had
been caused by a loose joist tumb
ling from the side of some cases where
it had been laid for emergency.
Between the eastern merchandise,
jute, hemp and curios, not to mention
teas, shellac and the usual list of
oriental stuffs, the cargo of the Er
roll was valued at nearly $2,000,000.
Hunting Truffles as Sport.
Quite apart from the interest of
fungi to the naturalist, the tempta
tion cannot here be resisted to refer
to a method of procuring one kind
of fungus which might take rank
among the minor sports. This is the
fashion, originating in France, of pro
curing the truffle by the aid of swine
and hounds—more ill-assortetd sport
ing companions can hardly be imag
ined! The truffle grows underground.
Pigs are particularly fond of these
delicacies, and, guided by the scent,
will discover them by rooting in the
earth. After thpe discovery of the
truffles the dogs are employed to
beat back the pigs and prevent them
from devouring the spoil. And every
quality dear to the sportsman of skill
and judgment is needed to control
and obtain the desired result from
the efforts of a herd of swine and a
pack of hounds.
"All things come to him who waits,"
quoted the moralixer.
"All except the political pie,** re
joined the demoraljser. "A fellow hai
to so after that and tip the ple-mam...
One phase of the moyen age prin
cess is demonstrated in our first illus
tration, the style being suited to
either house or street wear. As illus
trated, the dress is made of pale gray
cloth, with a yoke of moire in the
same tone, and a yoke of fancy net.
The cuffs are also of the moire, but
the buttons and piping used are of
gray velvet in a slightly deeper tone.
For theater or other evening use this
gown could be of white, or cream, or
pale blue, or dull rose cloth, or serge.
The evening serges are very hand
some and within the means of most
home sewers. For street wear, serge
or cheviot would be good choices, and
with these the yoke and cuffs could
be of the same with a braid finish.
For a medium figure 5% yards of
double width serge is enough for this
The second model gives one of the
evening dress aspects of the moyen
TURBANS GIVEN NEW NAMES
Milliners Work Hard Thinking Up
Designations for That Form of
Evidently the turban is to take on
as many kinks and curls as the mil
liner can devise. And with each new
kink comes a new name.
We have had Turkish, Uhlan, Rus
sian, Cossack, Sultan now we are to
have Rembrandt, Henry III., Hussar,
De Stael, Drum Major and Napoleon.
Some of the furs of which they are
made are of the ultra-fashionable ring
tail also ermine and sealskin, Aus
tralian oppossum and moleskin. The
drum major turban is trimmed with a
circlet of antique gold and bronze set
The latter are very new and smart
and will not stir the wrath of the Au
dubon society. A thick quill is used
then the long, coarse fur of the
monkey is put in it at each side. It
Is amazing what Influence the Audu
bonists are having on millinery and
these fur quills are one outcome of
Bronze lace Is widely used for trim
ming, and ermine and sealskin with
out trimming are among the most dis
tinguished turbans of the season.
Another model that has startling
distinction is of moleskin trimmed
with an heroic pansy made of blue
and violet bugles with a gold center.
PROPER LENGTH OF SKIRTS
Fashion's Decree Makes Distinct Vari
ations in Dimensions of The
There is confusion in the minds of
many concerning skirts. There is so
much talk about smart gowns being
five Inches from the floor for evening
and nearly six inches for morning,
that women wonder if there is atfy
hour in which the long, graceful skirt
The strict decree of fashion is this:
Skirts five or six inches from the
ground far street wear skirts that
sweep the floor in a round train for
the afternoon, and skirts five inches
from the floor for the evening.
This is the decree! Everyone does
not have to abide by it, but numbers
of women will accept it in part, if not
in whole. They may not have every
evening gown made short, or every af-
LATEST IDEA IN HAT BRIMS
New Decree of Fashion Is That They
Must Have Immense Flare
at the Back.
The last innovation in hats is the
immense brim that swoops up at the
back. It is not becoming to any one,
but it will probably be worn by the
majority. It is a less artistic angle
than the one formed by a flaring brim
at the side or the left front. It should
be softened by the thick end of a
plume. When a barbaric ornament Is
used in the center of it, the emphasis
is bad. Yet nothing the critics will
say will deter women from wearing it.
In connection with it. there has
been Invented an exceedingly pretty
method of softening and disguising it
A thiok ostrich feather is used to go
around the crown, then over the back,
and is brought around the right should
der, encircles the neck and is caught
at the. hack with a chou of self-colored
malln^.Thls Is hat and neckpiece la
age. It is made of all-over and bor
dered fancy net. Any bordering suffi
ciently wide, however, to cut the top
of the garment could be used for it,
as well as a pretty figured silk, Swiss,
or dotted or checked muslin, with all
of which materials the lace-entre
deux and ribbons here employed go
With a thin white material, such as
net, lace or Swiss or barred muslin
over a tinted slip and with ribbons
in the same color, this gown would be
charming for any of the holiday func
tions soon to come. If a low effect
is desired, the line of the neck could
be made round and the guimpe left
off, in which case the line at the bot
tom of the bodice, and those of the
sleeves, should be cut plain.
For the medium misses' figure four
yar^s of all-over net, and six yards ot
bordering would be required for this
ternoon frock made long, but they will
asseredly have one of each kind to
show that they know what Is being
done in the world of fashion.
OF CLOTH OF GOLD.
A beautiful but costly turban for
evening wear or fcrmal afternoon oc
casions is made from cloth of gold.
It is .artistically and beautifully draped
and has for its sole decoration a
gorgeous paradise aigrette in natura'
There are some women who are
constantly utilizing old material, and
then, again, others who discard a
shirtwaist, skirt or dress merely be
cause it is somewhat old style or torn
in a few places.
A white linen shirtwaist, which was
in very good condition, save for a few
holes at the neckband and waist line
(caused by constant pinning), was
saved from extinction by one of the
cautious, who converted it into stock
collars and belts. The ends of the
stocks were square, and on one collar
five tiny clovers were embroidered.
There is a satisfaction in knowing
that good material is never wasted.
The half-worn linen skirt has count
Brocade is much favored for brides*
maids' hats. Perhaps it solves the
color problem as well, for it is always
possible to secure just the right shade
of blue or pink at the silk counter
when the felt hats, offer no assistance
to eager buyers.
Large shapes are popular, and
plumes of the same color or contrast
ing tones are used. The design of the
brocade seems especially ornamental
and suitable for festive occasions.
After the great event these silk hats
are lovely for evening wear.
Black fishnet in coarse, heavy silk
mesh is used for the all-black blouse
and trimmed with black grosgrain rib
bon of several widths, advancing from
a quarter to an Inch. The dullness of
the .ribbon and the extreme plainness
of these little models proclaim them
correct mourning for the younger
woman. They are lined with luster
except their collars
and wristbands, which are left
SOUNDS LIKE FAIRY TALE
THE FARMERS OF CENTRAL CAN
ADA REAP WHEAT AND
Up In the Provinces of Manitoba,
Saskatchewan and Alberta, the prov
inces that compose Central Canada
have such a quantity of land suitable
for the growth of small grains, which
grow so abundantly, and yield so hand
somely that no fear need be feared
of a wboat famine on this Continent.
The story reproduced below is only
one of the hundreds of proofs that
could be produced to show the results
that may be obtained from cultiva
tion of the lands in these provinces.
Almost any section of the country will
do as well.
With the country recently opened by
the Grand Trunk Pacific, the latest of
the great transcontinental lines to en
ter the field of the development of the
Canadian West, there is afforded added
ample opportunity to do as was done
in the case cited below:
To buy a section of land, break it
up and crop it, make $17,550 out of
the yield and $10,880 out of the increase
of value all within the short period
of two years, was the record estab
lished by James Bailey, a well known
farmer within a few miles of Reglna.
Mr. Bailey bought the 640 acres of
land near Grand Coulee two years ago.
He immediately prepared the whole
section for crop and this year has 600
acres of wheat and 40 acres of oats.
The wheat yielded 19,875 bushels, and
the oats yielded 4,750 bushels. The
whole of the grain has been market
ed and Mr. Bailey is now worth $17,550
from the grain alone. He bought the
land at $18 an acre, and the other
day refused an offer of $35 an acre,
just a $17 advance for the time of his
purchase. The land cost $11,320 in
the first Instance. Here are the fig
ures of the case.—Land cost, 640
acres, at $18, $11,320. Wheat yielded
19,875 bushels, at 84 cents a bushel,
$16,695. Oats yielded 4,750 bushels
at 28 cents a bushel, $855. Offered
for land, 640 acres at $35 an acre,
$22,400. Increase value of land, $10,880.
Total earnings of crop, $17,550, togeth
er with increase in value of land a to
tal of $28,540.
It is interesting to note the figures
of the yield per acre. The wheat
yielded 33% bushels to the acre, and
oats 118.7 bushels to the acre. The fig
ures are a fair indication of the aver
age throughout the district.
Agents of the Canadian Government
in the different cities will be pleased
to give you information as to rates, etc.
Miss Giddigosh—Oh, uncle, have
you seen the Williamses' baby? Do
describe it to me.
Uncle Snark—Description-! Um!—
ah! very small features, clean shaven,
red-faced, and looks a hard drinker.
Duty Society Owes to Unfortunates.
Consumption is primarily a poor
man's disease. Dr. Woods Hutchin
son of New York city says: "Roughly
speaking, the incipient tuberculosis pa
tient- can buy as many chances of
fresh air and cure as he has money."
The percentage of deaths from con
sumption among the poor is 100 per
cent higher than among the well-to-do
and the rich. Sixty-five per cent, of
the consumptives in the United States
are too poor to provide proper means
for treatment. They must either be
placed in a sanitarium or a hospital
where they can be cured of their dis
ease and where they will be removed
from the possibility of infecting other
members of their families, or the loss
resulting from neglect to care for
these poor consumptives will be twice
or three times as great as would be
the case if they are properly housed
$100 Reward, $100.
Ite readers of this paper will be pleased to
•ut there la at least one dreaded disease that ae
haa been able to cure In all Its stages, and that
Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only poatttn
cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease, requires a conntta*.
ttonal treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken to
temally. acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces ot the system, thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and asrtrt
tog nature In doing Its work. The proprietors ban
so much faith In its curative powers that they oOtr
One Hundred Dollars for any caat that It falls to
sure. Send for list of testimonials
Address F. J. CHENEY CO.. Toledo, O.
Bold by all Druggists, 75c.
ffeks Ball'sFamily Pills lor eoostlpattaa.
When it comes to being charitable
to the faults of others, the brother
hood of man has the sisterhood of
woman beaten to a frazzle.
If you would be happy keep your
eyes wide open during courtship and
half closed after marriage.
Cteawses tta System
Dispds colds and Headaanes
A&s acfoXwty as
To Ws teueJxctaX e$Jec\&
always buy ttie QemvMh
RttNjfocturBd by the
Fio SYRUP CO.
SOU BY ALL LEADING MUCOISB
only, refular price 50* per bottle.
Best for Bdbj aid Best for Motker
to tsin sad free frosa opisisi. soothes